Corrupt-A-Wish

[TheGentlmen]

Granted, sadly you must pay 9 billion dollars to Tynan to get assess to the DLC which activates this feature.
If you don't want to pay 9 billion dollars, you can instead decide to sell your soul and body to Tynan so you can be his code monkey.

Don't worry, we'll upload your brain to the matrix.

I wish I was in the matrix.

[muffins]

Your wish came true and you're now living in the matrix! Unfortunately your virtual job doesn't pay enough to allow you rent time on a good server. Instead you live your whole existence on a budget server where the graphics are blocky, the connection is laggy, the frame rate never gets above 8fps and everything tastes like cardboard. Then one day you lag out while crossing a road and watch in glorious 8fps horror as a bus runs you over.

Luckily the second-rate collision algorithm bugged out and you witness the surprised terror of the passengers as you effortlessly pass through the bus.

You rage-quit a week later.

I wish to be happy.

[A Friend]

Your wish is granted and you become happy.

But it isn't enough.

The drugs you take everyday to do so slowly destroyed your mind.

One night, in an effort to become happier. You sought to remove what you believe is the source of all your problems.

You go to the kitchen. Swiftly grabbed a knife.

And went to the rooms where each problem slept softly...

With a happy smile. You ended each problem one by one.

With one problem left to remove. You go in front of a mirror.

And took a good look at it.

With a grin and one quick motion.

You calmly end it all.

...

You become happy.

~~~~~~~

I wish to divide by 0

[TheGentlmen]

Your wish is granted and you become happy.

But it isn't enough.

The drugs you take everyday to do so slowly destroyed your mind.

One night, in an effort to become happier. You sought to remove what you believe is the source of all your problems.

You go to the kitchen. Swiftly grabbed a knife.

And went to the rooms where each problem slept softly...

With a happy smile. You ended each problem one by one.

With one problem left to remove. You go in front of a mirror.

And took a good look at it.

With a grin and one quick motion.

You calmly end it all.

...

You become happy.

~~~~~~~

I wish to divide by 0

You can now divide by zero. J/0 = j*0.
Sadly you spend your whole life trying to discover the value of j.

I wish I knew everything.

[Zokora]

Granted. Now you know everything in the whole Universe. But this includes all thougths of every human and every Alien Individuum. As in every milliseconds trillions of new thougths are born your mind is buzzing with too much Information and you go mad. Nonetheless you cannot go and kill yourself as you know what's comming afterlive.

I wish A13 is released today.

[Shad]

Granted. A13 is getting released today (Venusian Calendar). A Venusian day is approximately 243 Earth days long.

I wish I did not get tired without sleep.

[A Friend]

You get your wish and you never needed sleep ever again.

The government discovered this and they wish to harness your power.

You are forced to run on a giant hamster wheel for the rest of your life where your legs and lungs scream.

~~~~~~~~~

I wish people stopped arguing about religion.

[TheGentlmen]

You get your wish and you never needed sleep ever again.

The government discovered this and they wish to harness your power.

You are forced to run on a giant hamster wheel for the rest of your life where your legs and lungs scream.

~~~~~~~~~

I wish people stopped arguing about religion.

Granted, now no one argues bout religion, because now thier is only one religion... the government's religion!
A stalin like dictator has now taken other the world. You must obey his words because he is better than you (and hes god).
Scale of mightiness (according to the dictator):
     Him ----
              |
              |
              |
              |
              |
              |
              |
              |
   Stalin ----
              |
              |
     God ----
              |
              |
              |
              |
Peasonts ----
              |
      You ----

I wish I was that stalin like dictator who ruled the world.

[keylocke]

you became the world dictator. you were having so much fun and sexy times that it was too late for you to prepare for an oncoming alien invasion.

as the representative of this world, you decided to entrench your forces like the battle of stalingrad. however, the aliens care not for your shenanigans. they decided to teleport you to their mothership to undergo "fusion experiments". they decided to fuse your head to a chihuahua.

------

i wish i can one punch everything.

[Listen1]

Your wish is granted, after a year and half of 100 daily push-ups, sit-ups, and squats, plus 10 km daily running, you  achieved some level of superhuman strength, and because of that now One of your punches is able to destroy anything.

But... even after acomplishing that... in your heart you find a void that cannot be filled, no one can challenge you... and that makes you depressed. You even try to kill yourself, but because of the whole training you are almost immortal now. Knifes, bullets and even head falls from 70 meter dosen't kill you.

So you decided to drink until you forgot all your problems, and found out that alcohol dosen't do a thing against your body. You are alone, sober, depressed and can't kill yourself.

Also, you've become bald.

---

I wish for this world to become a medieval mmorpg with a limited number of people, myself and my wife included. In that world, you can slay monsters for loot and money and you cannot die, if someone or a monster kills you, you respawn in your house or in a spaw point.

[TheGentlmen]

Granted. You now live in a MMORPG. You grind monsters every day, for 5 years straight. It gets tire sum and boring. You startr to go insane, you and your wife become distant. Quickly you live under a rock, alone. Abandoned. Depressed. You try to kill your self but you just re spawn under that rock.

Luckly your server was run by EA. On the 7th year the pull the plug on the server. You now don't exist.

I wish I was in Neo Scavenger. With infinite respawns.

[keylocke]

granted. you are now stuck in neo scavenger with infinite respawns. sadly i have no idea what gameplay is like so i will just invent random stuff based on the name :

while you are scavenging.. "stuff" for the umpteenth time, you realize that you are no longer content with all of these pixels you collected. you suddenly yearn for the 3d sensations of a hot meal and sexy times, so you tried to be "an hero" by offing yourself to no avail.

you dread the realization that there is no escape. you are stuck inside of the game.. forevah.

--------

i wish people's emotions are displayed as emoticons in real life, so i don't have to guess what they feel like.

[TheGentlmen]

granted. you are now stuck in neo scavenger with infinite respawns. sadly i have no idea what gameplay is like so i will just invent random stuff based on the name :

while you are scavenging.. "stuff" for the umpteenth time, you realize that you are no longer content with all of these pixels you collected. you suddenly yearn for the 3d sensations of a hot meal and sexy times, so you tried to be "an hero" by offing yourself to no avail.

you dread the realization that there is no escape. you are stuck inside of the game.. forevah.

--------

i wish people's emotions are displayed as emoticons in real life, so i don't have to guess what they feel like.

Granted, kinda! Now everyones emotion are displayed as emoticons instead of faces, sadly now emoticons ARE pictures of peoples faces, and their is a different set for every person.

Summary is nothing changed! Emoticons are now pictures of faces!

I wish I was the developer of rimworld.

[keylocke]

granted. you are now the developer of rimworld. now stop faffing here and get back to work developing the game, you magnificent person you.

------

i wish to have non-stop sexy times with some bodacious twin babes while riding down on a burning helicopter, sipping mountain dew, and shouting "indeed!".

[TheGentlmen]

You _HAD_ non-stop sexy times with some bodacious twin babes while riding down on a burning helicopter, sipping mountain dew, and shouting "indeed!" UNTELL the the helli hit the ground. Then you exploded into a dozen pieces.

I wish I could faff all I want.