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RimWorld => Stories => Topic started by: Call me Arty on August 23, 2017, 06:00:12 AM

Title: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: Call me Arty on August 23, 2017, 06:00:12 AM
 It has been near four Rim-Years (297 days) since my colony started. Of course, as that much time progresses, one amasses wealth and strength. As this happens, the storytellers amass their greatest of threats. In this instance, it was an attempt on the life on one bright face new to the colony, a young and impressionable "Muffalo Calf 2."
One snowy evening, a psychic ship came screaming down from the sky! It is known that these ships are great threats, so a single soldier was sent to fire a single shot to provoke this ship so the threat could be calculated. As Zalit, might soldier moved for the safety that was the granite walls preceding a mountain bunker, a Centipede emerged, leading five vicious Scythers. That night, they settled on the closest target: a sleeping Muffalo Calf 2. The heartless Mechanoids began firing before soldiers could leave their beds to come to the calf's aid and man the EMP turret.
Then they kept firing.
And firing.
The Centipede has a heavy charge plaster. That's like a Charge Rifle and a Minigun had a baby and that baby was being wielded by a schoolbus filled with concrete designed to eliminate organic life. This was backed up by five blenders with Terminator programming and railguns strapped to them.
How the hell did they not land a single shot.
Seriously! I sent-out three soldiers! That's a sniper, an EMP grenadier, and a machine gunner, all of them had a run-in with Scythers before. One-on one. That sniper? Cave just got a new right lung after the last got destroyed by literally the first shot fired by the first Scyther we encountered. Zalit, the machine gunner? Lost a leg, kept fighting until two more reinforcements came to help him out, probably lost most of his blood that day. Pinkie the EMP grenadier got out lucky and only lost a finger in her last encounter sprinting for cover. This time, however, all three of those did their best to try and draw fire, wasn't working. Sure, a couple got EMPed, but only one Scyther got distracted. Not one could hit this one sleeping friggin' baby. The little asshole didn't even wake-up, just kept sawing logs while the best-of-the-best are making their way through a small army.

Everyone that wasn't majoritively circuitry survived that night without a scratch. What should we name the blessed "Muffalo Calf 2?"
Title: Re: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: kubolek01 on August 25, 2017, 05:56:20 AM
Small size plus lying down equals tiiiny hit chance, lying only lowers it by 80%. It's all bout game mechanism!
Title: Re: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: Oblitus on August 25, 2017, 06:32:46 AM
The real questions here - how do anyone know which animals are tamed and why they prioritize attacking animals.
Title: Re: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: Hungry Colonist on August 25, 2017, 08:52:31 AM
Quote from: Oblitus on August 25, 2017, 06:32:46 AM
The real questions here - how do anyone know which animals are tamed and why they prioritize attacking animals.

We need a mod for that, it's kinda stupid...

I had a bear tamed on the other side of the map (I play on the largest) and raiders just took the time to go there and injure him, so they could come back to attack my base feeling accomplished...

I'm not complaining about game mechanics boys (kinda tbh)
I left the bear there for "testing purposes"
Title: Re: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: gipothegip on September 02, 2017, 07:31:21 PM
Well, this is Rimworld, and nobody on the rim can hit the broadside of a barn at point blank range.
Title: Re: The luckiest little Muffalo.
Post by: kubolek01 on September 02, 2017, 10:44:31 PM
Quote from: gipothegip on September 02, 2017, 07:31:21 PM
Well, this is Rimworld, and nobody on the rim can hit the broadside of a barn at point blank range.
But... Thrumbos are hit from the any weapon max range, being of garden house size... at maximum.