This may have been asked before. But is it possible to have an option at start and in the options menu to disable Friendly Fire? You'll have traders arrive or vistors and you want to rush out and help them as they are getting attacked by the raiders that just come in. Only to then hit a few of them with friendly fire, because they insist on rushing the raiders while you're trying to help. You then are hit with negative relations. So you start to think "Sod it then. You can go it alone and if you all die it's not my fault" only to then get hit with negative relations for not going out and protecting them.
I don't think so.
But thats mod's are for.
Avoid Friendly Fire https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1134165362
Friendly Fire Tweaks https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1582686191
Simply letting your allies fight it out with the raiders could be an ez fix, though that might not suit your playstyle.
Off subject but my pets are so battle scared it's silly. Two elephants and a boar ALWAYS run right though the firing line in every engagement.