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RimWorld => Stories => Topic started by: Sepkan on August 06, 2014, 04:19:33 PM

Title: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sepkan on August 06, 2014, 04:19:33 PM
The funniest thing I have seen was my R-4 wielding, power armor wearing 16 shooting and melee skill assassin get killed by a squirrel.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on August 06, 2014, 06:03:35 PM
I laughed so hard at this that I took a screenshot at the time.

Not long into a new game and my colony was attacked by a small pirate raid. Had no defences yet so the colonists had to defend the base largely with the starting weapons, leading to some injuries. One of the pirates, "Toad", was incapacitated so I ordered him to be captured. He was duly hauled to a prisoner bed where he could sleep and heal up. Fox comes along with a tray of food for the new prisoner, entered the cell, faced Toad ... and just dumped the tray on his still sleeping face ... then walked off not giving a muffalo.

(http://i.imgur.com/4dcWt6M.jpg)

I can only imagine that Fox was still seething about the raid, and having to look after one of the attackers. With the tray on his face Toad probably woke up thinking he was in a casket lol
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zeta Omega on August 06, 2014, 06:09:54 PM
Muffalo VS Boomrat, enough said.....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 06, 2014, 06:16:25 PM
- Wave of 45 squirrels. Mowed them down with 6 hardcore, armed-to-the-teeth colonists + 4 turrets. But wait, there's more. Another psychic wave: 30-something boomrats. Hard to tell how many because their corpses burned down afterwards. Needed a reload after that one... Pure insanity and hilarity.

- There's a YouTuber by the name Blitzkriegsler who uploads RimWorld letsplays. Vladimir the Politician the colonist. Blitz had put him to fetch something from an active battlefield. Brave little Vlad dodges and catches bullets like a goddamn action hero, running like Usain Bolt, zigzagging in the midst of the agave plants and bushes. The bullets wear him down to 4 HP. Blitz holds his breath as Vlad runs out of the chaos. Incoming gunfire quiets down as Vlad is getting out of range. Then comes the unexpected sniper shot somewhere off the screen and poor little Vlad plops to the ground, face down in the mud.

- Weirdest character I ever had was a female named Maskinne(?). Once I ordered her to put out a fire by drafting her and placing her next to a fire. What does she do? Nothing. She just stands there and I just stare at her faceless head in shock and it's like she's staring back at me. I'm horrified, as stuff is on fire! A thought occurs to me. "Wait, was she... was she the pyromaniac?" Open character sheet. Indeed she's the pyromaniac I thought I'd seen earlier. I burst into laughter as I thought that's the reason why she just stood there watching stuff burn. Creepy AND funny. However, she was also incapable of violence which was the actual reason why she didn't "attack" the fire. She had no problem putting out fires in civilian mode.

- A few alphas back had an empath go berserk (mental break). "Incapable of violence" my ass. She defeated my best melee fighter. Imagine Deanna Troi raging.

- Tribals decided to pull back from an attack but not before kidnapping my people. One of my incapped colonists got picked up SIX TIMES and every time his would-be snatcher was shot dead. Imagine experiencing sort of treatment. Upsy daisy! OOPH! Here we go! UNGH! You're coming with me! THUD! You look delicious! SPLAT!

- This one time I was placing buildings, got my view zoomed in all the way. To the side is the butcher's table and the animal corpse stockpile. I see in my sideview a colonist drop off a muffalo corpse. "But... no one's hunting... OH GOD!" I had forgotten to turn off the hunting from a fresh recruit, a badass melee specialist. While I was diddlying with wire placement and batteries he had been inserting his fists in a muffalo's face.

- Huge raid. Call for help. Call two factions. Spend thousands on reinforcements and bribes. In a situation like that a person should really check that the assisting factions aren't hostile to each other... *facepalm*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 06, 2014, 06:31:41 PM
Has to be the time when 50+ tribals visited my colony
they then proceeds to stand in my courtyard and eat most of my food

while after another faction comes for a visit.
They're mortal enemies =P

I lost two colonists in the crossfire.
and I had to wall off the sight to the battlezone to keep my survivors sane
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tynan on August 06, 2014, 08:06:37 PM
Thank you for this thread, some of these are awesome :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MoneyFish on August 06, 2014, 08:36:29 PM
Definitely the time a wave of 12 bandits approached my base and ended up walking right into a trio of Sythers. The carnage was glorious. 2 bandits were knocked out in the fighting and promptly sold as slaves :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Damien Hart on August 06, 2014, 09:15:40 PM
Mine would have to be the time that a conga line of passers by (around 100 or so) casually conga'd past a siege party, not sparing them so much as a glance, and all but six were shot down. The others carried on their merry way to the other edge of the map...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Piata on August 06, 2014, 11:15:07 PM
I had a colonist who's primary occupation was "pop star". She was terrible at everything but art.

I made her butcher animals and mine ore.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sepkan on August 06, 2014, 11:17:40 PM
Another one I really enjoyed was visitors shooting my prisoner to incap 4 times. I would think they would recognize I have it under control.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on August 07, 2014, 12:00:21 AM
I had a colonist who's primary occupation was "pop star". She was terrible at everything but art.

I made her butcher animals and mine ore.

"EWWW I GOT SQUIRREL ENTRAILS ON MY NAILS!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Halinder on August 07, 2014, 02:43:08 AM
I once created a large hallway through the middle of the map just for use of stone tiles, and then proceeded to wall off a good portion of the ways raiders could come into the map. Whenever a raid came, they wouldn't actually go down the hall, they would just pick random walls and start punching bricks -- never mind that they got pelted into nothingness by turrets.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 07, 2014, 05:35:54 AM
I had a colonist who's primary occupation was "pop star". She was terrible at everything but art.

I made her butcher animals and mine ore.
Oh jeez yes! I had a pop star once, too. "Sexual deviant" was one of her traits. Couldn't escape the Miley Cyrus mental association. With her Social skill 15 (+double flame), prisoner recruitment was a breeze. At least I THINK it's her Social skill that made all future recruitment easy. Absolutely useless for anything else, though. She played her part until she faced a large bald smelly tribal who was unimpressed by her shenanigans. Hold on, Miley! We'll save you! Quickly! Turn on ALL the turrets! Miley survived the "assistance" but got incapacitated. On top of that, she suffered from starvation and ugly environment. She recovers just enough to get up and soon after decides to "leave". Yeah... no. Nuh uh. Off to rehabilitation you go, Miley! IT TOOK WEEKS to convince her to join back because she was not only my best recruiter but also my ONLY recruiter. All the other colonists were at Social 3 or incapable.

"Oh PLEEEASE, Miley. Won't you PLEEEASE join us again. We WANT you to join us. We NEED you."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ItchyFlea on August 07, 2014, 07:54:46 AM
The time when two psychotic prisoners got incapped by a single psychotic squirrel. :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mikeash on August 07, 2014, 09:41:16 AM
A squirrel went mad and started attacking an exterior powered door. None of my guys went out that door so it never changed target. Every so often, somebody would stop by and repair the door back to full health. After about two days of nothing but tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the squirrel died of starvation.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 07, 2014, 10:00:46 AM
Early game, first visitors from a neutral colonie. One of them was getting hungry, so he took a meal out of the stockpile and put it on a table (all outdoor). While he was eating, one of my colonists came, took the meal away, placing it in the stockplie, than the visitor took it back to continue eating, than the colonist took it back to the stockpile and so on. In the end my colonist gave up and allowed the visitor to eat it. Since this incident, I always store my food indoors.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Telkir on August 07, 2014, 10:53:00 AM
Incident the First
Back in an alpha 4 game, I'd recently captured a prisoner and was trying to recruit him to the colony's cause. Unfortunately, though, food was extremely scarce after a badly-timed crop blight and the colony was desperately harvesting nearby wild bushes to avoid starvation.

One of my wardens decided to give the prisoner a feed using the last cooked meal in the stockpile. The prisoner was asleep at the time so the warden decided to just leave the food on the floor. A minute or so later I noticed another one of my colonists in the prison room eating the meal instead... and because there were no table and chairs in the colony, they'd decided to just enjoy their meal on top of the prisoner. Clearly his sentiment was something like: "Filthy raider scum, no food for you! Now stay still!"

Incident the Second
Another day, another colony. The place had been running for just nearly a year when a damaged ship part crashed just outside the perimeter. After having only just kicked a raider siege out of their back yard, my colonists were worn down and still running around in the aftermath trying to fix their digs back up. A telepsychopathic AI wasn't exactly on their Christmas list. Still, hope was not lost - a couple of days pass and things settle down enough for me to wonder how best to tackle the timebomb outside. Then another siege starts.

Resigning myself to accept this was likely to be a game over, I checked where the new raiding party was setting up. It was within a sniper rifle's distance of the ship wreckage. Suddenly, I had an idea, and drafted my least-injured colonist into action. I sent her toward a "service entrance" that exited the colony walls just a stone's throw away from the wreckage. Crossing my fingers, I got her to ping the crashed ship with a pistol bullet, then hot-foot it back into safety. Phew! She barely had time to get into cover before the spontaneous horde of at least a half-dozen each of scythers and caterpillars set sight on her, but escape into safety she did.

Extermination circuits at full charge, the mechanoids started heading toward the colony's main entrance to take revenge on the poor scrub who woke them up. Fortunately, though, my plan worked deliciously - I knew they might be easily distracted, for example by the overenthusiastic raiders taking potshots at them from just across the way... and so they were. The mechs decided raider blood was tastier than mine and a fairly one-sided firefight ensues between them and the siegers.

But things soon took a turn down silly avenue when a hitherto unnoticed group of visiting wanderers decided to pass through the exact middle of the ongoing battle...

The mechanoids wiped out both siegers and visitors in the resulting hilarity, but were badly weakened in the process, enough that my ragtag band of survivors could finish them off without casualties. Yes, a previously friendly neighbouring faction now hated my guts, but the colony endured a while longer, and that's all that mattered!

Bonus Incident the Third
(I'd have spoiler tagged this so it didn't take up room in the main thread but there doesn't seem to be the option here. Sorry for semi-offtopicness.)

It was in the early days of a colony struggling to fend off bandits and wildlife. All of my people were injured and barely able to get themselves fed, let alone fix the horrid ramshackle mess of the place they had to live in. Then another group of raiders arrive, seven of them to my four. Fearing the worst I drafted everyone for a last stand.

The battle was fierce but against all odds the raiders were driven off! One colonist lay dead and another two were incapacitated, but the fourth was fit enough to rescue them. Oh, and tackle the miniature blazing inferno that the mostly wooden colony had become at the hands of the raiders' molotovs.

Dilemma: Extinguish fires or rescue critically injured colonists? I pick rescuing, but both of the poor blighters were at death's door and too far from their (burning) bedrooms. My only option is to create a couple of new sleeping spots nearby in a section that's already been mostly burnt out.

The brave lone hero rescues one fallen comrade from the wreckage and heads toward the other, but alas, death claims them before he could get there. Saving his grief until later, the hero mustered what little energy he had left to fight the fires. He could only do so much. Eventually, with fires still raging, he succumbed to exhaustion and collapsed in his own bed.

He slept so deeply that he didn't hear the terrible crunching noise of the roof above the emergency sleeping spot collapsing on top of his injured friend...

Awakening to an eery silence, the hero left his bedroom and stared numbly at the scene. Already at his wit's end, he finally snapped and decided to leave the accursed place for good. Game over.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 07, 2014, 05:15:21 PM
A squirrel went mad and started attacking an exterior powered door. None of my guys went out that door so it never changed target. Every so often, somebody would stop by and repair the door back to full health. After about two days of nothing but tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the squirrel died of starvation.

Do you still sometimes think you hear something thudding away at your door? Do you regret that you didn't feed the squirrel every now and then, leaving it a portion of your harvest as an offering?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 08, 2014, 05:09:10 AM
Praise the squirrel!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Damien Hart on August 08, 2014, 06:06:23 AM
A squirrel went mad and started attacking an exterior powered door. None of my guys went out that door so it never changed target. Every so often, somebody would stop by and repair the door back to full health. After about two days of nothing but tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the squirrel died of starvation.

Do you still sometimes think you hear something thudding away at your door? Do you regret that you didn't feed the squirrel every now and then, leaving it a portion of your harvest as an offering?

It doesn't want your harvest. Nothing but a virgin sacrifice will appease it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: HatesYourFace on August 08, 2014, 08:33:17 AM
Another Squirrel related story:

Started a new game on a smaller map size, Random map generator gives me like 3/4 mountain and some plains with rocks in them...whatever I think, I'll build a mountain base. So...several hours later I'm chugging along happily with about a dozen colonists, my underground base is expanding nicely and so far I haven't had any serious problems, I had long since stopped caring about or even paying attention to the food situation as it was mostly automated, and things were generally going swimmingly...UNTIL!

Suddenly I noticed my colonists were all urgently hungry! And without my noticing they had already eaten through the impressive stockpile of taters we had in the base, But why? That couldn't be, I had several fields of potatoes and it had always been more than enough to feed all my colonists as well as stock up extra for rainy days! So I scroll over and find the fields and what do you know? Like two dozen squirrels running around in my now empty fields, They'd been eating all the crops for days without me noticing so nothing was getting harvested! Apparently there wasn't enough food being generated on the map because it was mostly mountain, so once the squirrel's started starving they came after mine...

It was an embarrassing end to a colony but it did make me chuckle lol. My colonists all starved to death or wandered off in a broken daze as my attempts to remove the squirrel blight from my crops with gunfire only caused some of the boomrats to explode and burn down what little remained of the harvest lol. I like to imagine the squirrels still live in the gutted shell of that base...eating my taters...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MrRobSteel on August 08, 2014, 09:19:43 AM
The funniest thing I can recall was from an earlier alpha, I'd built my base into a mountain for safety and set up comms and trading and amassed plenty of silver. A slaver trader came along and I brought all three of the available slaves then moved my camera to the beacon to watch them land. One lands, two lands.... hmm no three. I put it down to a bug at first until I started getting mental break warning messages. The pod had landed in a tiny undiscovered area and they were slowly going mad from starvation. Just about managed to dig them out before they went crazy.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 08, 2014, 09:36:25 AM
The funniest thing I can recall was from an earlier alpha, I'd built my base into a mountain for safety and set up comms and trading and amassed plenty of silver. A slaver trader came along and I brought all three of the available slaves then moved my camera to the beacon to watch them land. One lands, two lands.... hmm no three. I put it down to a bug at first until I started getting mental break warning messages. The pod had landed in a tiny undiscovered area and they were slowly going mad from starvation. Just about managed to dig them out before they went crazy.
haha, now that's a nice welcome to their new home! getting jammed into a tiny crag inside a mountain =P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Somz on August 08, 2014, 06:49:21 PM
I made a quick prison out of my 'mess hall', worked pretty well even though the doors constantly opened/closed, the prisoner was just lingering around.
But then a sudden 70+ soon-to-be-enemies visitor group came to eat my food again but started shooting my prisoner instead! At first I laughed but jesus they nearly killed her! She was supposed to be the new, all-timer cook!
So I drafted my colonists, started shooting at the FPSkiller visitors but they've gone bad, starting to shoot back/shooting each other/meleeing a plant pot and also destroying a few turrets killing most of them in the process. Luckily my prisoner was only incapped (again, s**ks to be her I guess), and I managed to capture 2 more!
This amused me greatly.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Armorat on August 09, 2014, 05:49:11 AM
Raid comes in, intense fighting leaves raiders with two still standing and me with one guy, immobilized in a bed. So, I'm screwed, but I decide to watch them tear my base to the ground.

They're headed to break down the main door when a mad squirrel, forgotten amidst the gunfight, races out and starts gnawing on one of them. In a panic, the second spins around and unloads on the scuffle. She gets the squirrel, but not before blowing her comrade's brains out onto the sand as well. Still, she's got a job to do, so she trudges back to the main door to burn down the rest of my base...however, did I mention said door is on fire? She didn't notice, apparently, and immolates herself while trying to kick her way in. So, even though my last colonist is passed out and doomed to starve, I'm still the last man standing, b*****s!  8)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zeta Omega on August 09, 2014, 03:40:52 PM
Poor squirrel 
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MoneyFish on August 09, 2014, 06:00:02 PM
Just yesterday:
A noble end to a well established colony. Massive raider party sets up a fort on the other side of the map. I have no choice but to march all my colonists out to meet them in combat. The mortar shelling starts and the first two shells land right on top of my army.
A bloodbath ensues, but despite my best efforts we lose the battle. 7 raiders survive, with a few more bleeding out on the ground. I choose to continue the simulation, just to see what happens...

First off, the sheer carnage around them started driving the raiders mad. Just as they start slipping, a single visitor from a friendly camp shows up, wielding a bow and wearing nothing but a loincloth.
He approaches the mad bandits, and starts to pick them off one by one. The bandits attempt to counterattack, but by this point half of them have started punching everything in sight.

And thats the story of how John Rambo avenged my colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wolfman1911 on August 09, 2014, 06:12:32 PM
One time, one of my colonists set herself on fire. That was the game where I decided that I was going to build a colony of tunnel rats, aka: underground. Anyway, there were two mostly complete stone buildings a reasonable distance from my colony entrance, which I decided would be a fine place for a body dump.

Later on in the game, the first site was getting full, so I took the method that I knew of to solve the problem: molotovs. I had one of my colonists go start the fire, and then released her from military duty. After that came fun with the priority system. I had the initial body dump set to collect corpses at the highest priority level, so once the bodies started to burn, two of my colonists started collecting corpses from the secondary dump and throwing them into the now burning pile. One of those two managed to set herself on fire in the process.

Anyway, maybe this says some things about me as a person that I shouldn't be so quick to admit, but I can imagine that those two colonists were some kind of sadists, throwing bodies in the burning pile not because of the priorities that they had been given, but because they enjoyed watching corpses burn.

I don't know if this is what makes the game good, or if it makes the game awesome, but it is so easy to ascribe all kinds of sick and twisted motivations to the actions of my colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: theapolaustic1 on August 09, 2014, 11:05:40 PM
One of my favorites would have to be the time I decided to experiment with a large amount of mods, including that one storyteller mod that shoots for a massive population.

Cue cramming sleeping spot after sleeping spot (I had T's cottonbeds installed too, so no easy beds for me that early on) into the tiny room that was supposed to be one of my initial colonists' bedrooms, but wasn't even fully mined out yet. I had at one point six prisoners in a cell that essentially had just enough room for their mattresses and a single-tile stockpile for food next to the door. Didn't even have a comm console up yet to sell them into slavery!

Another priceless moment came later on in that save. Prisoner (now that I have a proper cell) goes berserk and attacks a fellow inmate, I subdue him and put him back in his bed. The person who subdued him then proceeds to go berserk, so I subdue her and put her in the bed next to him. She gets converted back to the colony next day, then the colonist who converted her goes berserk and she has to knock him out and drag him into bed. He goes berserk again in his cell the next day and has to be knocked out and stuffed back in bed. Gets converted the day after... And then goes berserk again about three minutes later after he goes outside and notices "shit, it's dark out, I don't like that".

I'd named the guy after one of my buddies. May have cussed his namesake out over skype for his colonist's behavior.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mikeash on August 10, 2014, 02:01:13 PM
I walled off my whole base, leaving a single tile opening in the walls. I figured raiders will come through that and immediately meet lead death from my turrets and fortified colonists. Yay!

I wasn't paying too much attention, and soon the mental break alerts started to go off. I check on the unlucky colonists. They're just standing around outside my walls. Not moving, but slowly going crazy. WTF?

I draft one and tell him to move into the base. "No path." Huh?

Oh... there's a cactus growing right in the doorway. It happened to pop up right when half my colony was outside the walls for some reason. Unable to find their way back in, they just stopped moving and waited to go mad.

Some quick work with the Deconstruct command and I was back in business. A couple of colonists didn't make it back in time and I had to arrest them, but it was an easy time convincing them to rejoin the fold. I paved the crap out of the doorway area after that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: HatesYourFace on August 10, 2014, 03:49:47 PM
I walled off my whole base, leaving a single tile opening in the walls. I figured raiders will come through that and immediately meet lead death from my turrets and fortified colonists. Yay!

I wasn't paying too much attention, and soon the mental break alerts started to go off. I check on the unlucky colonists. They're just standing around outside my walls. Not moving, but slowly going crazy. WTF?

I draft one and tell him to move into the base. "No path." Huh?

Oh... there's a cactus growing right in the doorway. It happened to pop up right when half my colony was outside the walls for some reason. Unable to find their way back in, they just stopped moving and waited to go mad.

Some quick work with the Deconstruct command and I was back in business. A couple of colonists didn't make it back in time and I had to arrest them, but it was an easy time convincing them to rejoin the fold. I paved the crap out of the doorway area after that.

Lol, same thing happened to me with a tree...I was going nuts! "Get in the EFFING base you stupid miserable colonists! What in the bloody hell is wro- Oh...It's a tree." I've also had this happen with sandbag fortifications, with trees or cactus's growing in them when your not paying attention, Then you go to throw some colonist's behind them and they won't go! Lol.

It pays to pave!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tynan on August 10, 2014, 04:51:11 PM
This thread is just pure gold. I'm stickying this bad boy.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Fruit loops on August 10, 2014, 05:53:12 PM
I had now survived my 3rd year with the same colony I celebrated with some lavish meals. out of my 25 or so colonists my only non violent colonist had been discovered as a traitor as we were eating our meal so I sent my men to make fast work of her yet she survived so I captured her after about 3 weeks I finally re-recruited her like seconds after I recruit her a raid with high value pawns and quite a few of them drop in my base everybody on the outside is killed except the former traitor she was incapacitated the raiders all start beating down my door to the interior with the few seconds I have left I ready my men for them to come in suddenly a bunch of them walk away to lite things on fire and other things the 5 raiders still beating down the door are the most GEARED OUT BASTARDS known to man miniguns and armored vest with at least 15 shooting and 10 melee each (LIKE WTF SEAL TEAM 5) I retreat my men as they kill 2 and incapacitated 3 one of the raiders kidnaps the traitor the minigunners push my people back even more as the raiders kidnap the 3 incapacitated that lie a room a way
why they finally are all gone my entire exterior part of my base was burned to the ground
2 of my colonist were arrested and not allowed to eat to save the rest of the people (they burned my crops plus my hydroponics were blighted away at like .1 before harvest....)they died from malnutrition and one guy going insane and killing the other. I don't know but the traitor was originally from the faction who were the raiders did he have secret information or something because they have some pretty big connections -_-
anyways every since year 3 day 21 we have drafted everyone and toke them to the colonist graveyard for those who just plain out died and I leave them there tell a mental break warning then they come to the mess hall and eat a lavish meal every January 21 and I never capture traitors if they are incapacitated I melee them to death on the ground >:)
anyways that was pretty funny to me lel
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on August 10, 2014, 06:57:10 PM
Back in alpha 4 I had the "brilliant" idea to use human flesh for meals since I was always running out of meat and there was piles and piles of raider corpses out in my dumping zones. At the time I was tunnelling very deeply and very extensively into the mountain in search of metal. I was mining from map edge to map edge so my pawns were spending a lot of time walking through narrow, dark, hideous tunnels to the current mining zone.

For the first day everything seemed fine, then I started getting warnings of imminent mental breaks. Lots of them. The tunnels were so long that people were getting tired and hungry just commuting to and from the mining site. The -15 to mood from cannibalism was just enough to cause everyone who went down those tunnels to start to lose it. Something like 15-20 colonists risked imminent mental breaks over the course of 10 minutes or so, and I was frantically conscripting and unconscripting people so they would abandon their current job and get some food and rest.

Then two of my best and most skilled colonists (Ritter and Keuneke) lost it and went on a psychotic rampage deep in the tunnels. They were armed with the best weapons in the colony. I ordered people away from the area, forbade everything in the tunnels and put guards in the populated area of the colony, expecting a blood bath. As it happened, as chance would have it, on the very edge of the populated area, they both turned into the same tunnel and faced each other over a short distance, with the best, and most deadly, weapons in the colony ...

(http://i.imgur.com/m0K1JmK.png)

... which they used as clubs ...

Ritter was knocked unconscious in the melee by the larger Keuneke, who was in turn beaten into submission by the guards. I ordered them both arrested and shut down my cannibal production line before anyone else went nuts. Relieved that I hadn't lost anyone, I did a quick check of the colonists and found that one more, Zeppy, had gone nuts and was wondering the wastes. When the guards found her, she was totally oblivious to the squirl that was attacking her.

Ritter and Keuneke I managed to re-recruit after only a few days. Zeppy however took many, many weeks to recover from the horror of being fed human flesh. My wardens were reporting that Zeppy just paced around her cell all day, muttering "They made us eat people ... they made us eat people ..." over and over again.

I dumped all the unused human flesh outside the colony in the end.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sepkan on August 10, 2014, 11:15:07 PM
This thread is just pure gold. I'm stickying this bad boy.


Never realized it would get this far! Wow!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 11, 2014, 04:58:30 AM
Let's take a closer look at Candice. She is A) prone to anger, B) gullible (and already hilarious at this point) but then she's C) incapable of violence! In my mind she's a more vulgar version of Daffy Duck, who gets fits of (non-violent) rage... with a lisp.

"Yooou thonth of a bitheth. I'll thfucking kill all of you bathdardth for thif outrage. Headth will roll."

Oh, did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in any English dictionary?

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mikeash on August 11, 2014, 11:58:55 AM
I bought a slave. His backstory lists adulthood as "medieval doctor". His short-form profession that shows up next to his name is "Quack". For skills, he is incapable of medicine.

I guess I should be happy he knows enough not to try his quackery on my other colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 11, 2014, 02:13:30 PM
Earlier today...

I was minding my own business when I get a notification of a squirrel going mad. I never bat an eye to these specific "warnings" so I forgot about it as soon as I saw it. A moment goes by and then I hear a mysterious faint boom and I get a notification of a collapsed roof.

"Uh oh..."

I start looking around wondering what the source could be. Nope, wasn't anything I built. All my houses are intact. At that point I connect the explosion sound to the recent mad squirrel warning.

"Did the squirrel attack a boomrat? That'd be a first one... Also that doesn't explain the collapsed roof... Probably."

I scroll and pan and scroll and watch, getting increasingly bothered for not seeing anything out of place... Then, I see some mysterious dead muffalos, at least three of them. I sure as hell didn't kill them. Click muffalo corpse. It's fresh. Definitely something just happened here. Around the muffalo corpses is a visible large clearing. No grass, no human corpses, no weapons. Nothing. You have to understand, my map is littered with corpses and guns. Something really big must've blown up there.

"OH SHEESH! AAAHAHAHAHA!"

That is the point when I remember that that spot had a siege party at one point, and the raiders left behind a whooole bunch of mortars that I never could be arsed to destroy. I guess the damn squirrel had attacked a mortar and set off a cataclysmic chain explosion that killed the muffalos and destroyed some of the nearby mountain, enough to cause a collapse. And all I heard from that blast of epic proportions was a cute little "boomf".

("Did a boomrat just starve to death?")
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EscapeZeppelin on August 11, 2014, 03:50:41 PM
I was trying to seal off a small cave I had dug and noticed that my builder was starving because she'd walled herself up. I quickly had her deconstruct it and off she went to get food and I ordered the wall finished. After eating she calmly came back and walled herself up again. At this point I was getting annoyed so I freed her had all the bricks collected and designated another colonist to complete the work. Sure enough they wander over and quickly seal themselves into a wall. Must have been a really cozy little spot.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 11, 2014, 05:37:12 PM
@UrbanBourbon

For the future, you can click on most events and then on "jump to location" or something like that, don't know if it works with collapsed roofs but it might be worth a look.

Although I must admit that the story got even better with the mysterious factor.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 12, 2014, 03:31:29 AM
@UrbanBourbon

For the future, you can click on most events and then on "jump to location" or something like that, don't know if it works with collapsed roofs but it might be worth a look.

Although I must admit that the story got even better with the mysterious factor.
Yes, I know. The location finder is included in them. But I've instinctively developed a habit to r-click all roof collapse messages (=delete). Of course that doesn't stop me from regretting their deletion instantly afterwards, like in this case. It all happens so quickly - the message, r-click, regret, forget.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 12, 2014, 03:50:29 AM
Seems familiar...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Neurotoxin on August 14, 2014, 04:24:06 AM
For me, it happened today.


Emmie, the vatgrown sexslave who is incapable of violence and has an insatiable bloodlust.


Screenshot below: this was early game and I didn't have a lot of resources available, thus the tiny prison.
(http://i.imgur.com/2snOmof.png)


This picture, to me, is full of comedy gold.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on August 14, 2014, 10:18:33 AM
I had visitors to my colony when it was really small. I only had 5 people and 1 captive enemy, so naturally there were about 30 of my allies people visiting and they went right into the middle of it. 5 of them breaking off from the main group and heading into my prison where upon they set upon the only guy in there starting to beat him to death.
Sadly I hadn't stripped him and he was good at close combat. He took 2 of the 5 down before falling himself and the other 3 turned around walked out of the room and then they all started to go crazy.
This triggered crossfire where all the people in the room would suddenly turn on one person and blow them to bits. Sadly this happened in the middle of my base and my farmer took a stray bullet. BOOM, off goes his right leg and he's down. I send in the nearest colonist to rescue him, my doctor. BOOM. my doctor looses his left leg X.x
I am left with 3 workable colonists and no idea how to deal with my guests when all of a sudden BOOM. my mortars explode... That solved the guest problem and wiped out my front wall. It also caused their faction to turn on me X.x
So after they killed my prisoner, permanently crippled 2 of my colonists and destroyed my mortars and ripped a huge hole in my exterior wall the buggered declare war on me...
There are no words to describe how much I hate my allies.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 14, 2014, 01:04:31 PM
I'm not sure if that's more sad than funny. I'm guessing you play on Randy Random. I noticed in Alpha 5 that visitor groups on Randy are huge compared to other AIs. Visitors are a total liability which eventually made me wall off my base after I started getting 30+ visitors. The bastards even eat all my (forbidden) emergency rations that I keep in rooms!

Benson: "Johs... Hey, Johs! Check this guy out. Look. Is he breathing? Oh man, he's been hurt pretty badly. Probably can't even talk with all that bandage wrapped around his head. Oh, he's awake. What's he pointing at? Something on the t--- Ah. Wellwellwell, what do we have here. A pristine Packaged Survival Meal. Hey, thanks man. That's me - always in mood for some snack."

Johs: "I think he's trying to say he's hun--"

Benson: "Johs, these guys are awesome. Guy's been shot half to death and he's still being hospitable and offering something to eat. Oh man, we're totally stopping by again later."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: brinxter on August 14, 2014, 01:34:42 PM
I was playing with Randy Random, on a ludicrous size map, and was at around year 3 or 4, and having survived some really weird shit.

So, in come this group of, i'm guessing, 60-70 pawns, from a friendly faction, all with serious weapons (i am using the weapons mod), they walk into my base, and loiter in the middle of it.
Then the other faction, tribals, decides to come say hi as well, and come with 150-200 of them (my pc is pretty beastly)
Turns out, they hate each others guts (you've guessed right!)

Since i can't do anything about it, i withdraw my peeps into my underground base (was in the middle of relocating when they arrived) they wreaked havoc on my base, and themselves, then, right as it was ending, and i was tending to the fires and bodies everywhere, one of my primary 3 colonists, turns to the pirate faction, i capture her, and in comes the cavalry, 15 guys, all in power armor, and mini guns, in drop pods, in the middle of the battlefield, they wipe/incapacitate  my colonists, and decide to capture everyone they can, running off with their turncoat, and my remaining two colonists.

It was epic!     

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on August 15, 2014, 04:14:18 AM
More 'Funny' allies moments...
Oh yes... very funny...
I got raided. You know a standard little rush. They have tried it before and it has never worked on this colony. I got the notice I had visitors at the same time which I was happy about because they should soften each other up a bit or so I thought. The two groups met right outside my front door and they didn't shoot at each other... Not one shot... They were blooming friends with each other!

I can only imagine the conversation must have gone something to the tune of
Visitor Leader: Oh hey it's the Rock Tribe!
Raider Leader: Hello there Shanty Town people! what brings you here?
Visitor Leader: We are just visiting, going to eat all their food, shoot up the place, probably put a few locals in hospital. How about you?
Raider Leader: Ohh, you know, just going to murder half of them, kidnap the survivors, maybe abandon a few crippled and alone to die horribly.
Visitor Leader: Well in that case After You.
Raider Leader: Ohh no. After you. I insist.

They all poured in, the visitors move in around my defensive positions while the raiders attacked my turrets. Then the visitors turned on me, probably sparked off by an exploding turret or a stray bullet and since they had moved in behind my peoples defensive line they gunned down half my colony in their first round of fire before finishing off my entire colony with absolutely no way for me to stop it.
Every single colonist died.
Every single blasted one.
God dame them all.
How many colonies do I have to lose to my allies?

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 15, 2014, 04:22:05 AM
I can only imagine the conversation must have gone something to the tune of
Visitor Leader: Oh hey it's the Rock Tribe!
Raider Leader: Hello there Shanty Town people! what brings you here?
Visitor Leader: We are just visiting, going to eat all their food, shoot up the place, probably put a few locals in hospital. How about you?
Raider Leader: Ohh, you know, just going to murder half of them, kidnap the survivors, maybe abandon a few crippled and alone to die horribly.
Visitor Leader: Well in that case After You.
Raider Leader: Ohh no. After you. I insist.

haha this is amazing =P
Ohh I really wish you could play as a "Visitor faction"
your goal would be just send your guys for a visit and attempt to have them cause as much damage as possible in as "innocent" way as possible
"Oh haallooo dear neeeighbooors! Howyoubeeeeennn? heeere wee come agaaain!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BassMonroe on August 15, 2014, 05:46:22 AM
The day a Boomrat snuck its way into my battery room, and exploded after 2 day of being stuck there.
Put my colony in total darkness for 3 days.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 15, 2014, 06:45:05 AM
How many colonies do I have to lose to my allies?

One way to avoid that is to just make them all hostile.  At the start of the game (when visitor groups are small), arrest the best-looking one of the bunch.  Free colonist!

The day a Boomrat snuck its way into my battery room, and exploded after 2 day of being stuck there.
Put my colony in total darkness for 3 days.

LOL, oops!  :)
A pet is fine - just make sure to feed it if it's a boomrat!
I had a pet squirrel once.  One of my colonists kept him in his room, and delivered food to it every day.  And then one day it went mad and tried to bite the hand that fed it.  That didn't work out well for the squirrel.  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 15, 2014, 01:01:03 PM
I had a pet squirrel once.  One of my colonists kept him in his room, and delivered food to it every day.  And then one day it went mad and tried to bite the hand that fed it.  That didn't work out well for the squirrel.  ;)
Knowing RimWorld, the squirrel bit the hand off and choked to death while the former owner of the hand bled to death. The loss of the colonist and the sight of his corpse set off a mental break spiral and everyone either went berserk or quit, ending the colony. Sound about right?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 15, 2014, 01:17:19 PM
I think you get the idea.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on August 17, 2014, 03:41:38 AM
Boomrats. Psychic event. Early game. Just four colonists, one incapable of violence. Weapons, two sniper rifles and one uzi. Big mob of boomrats break down the door. Snipers miss. Boomrats mob colonist with uzi. She doesn't miss. Explosions, explosions everywhere. Boomrats dead. All colonists on fire and running around screaming "IT BURNS! IT BURNS!!".

Everyone stayed in the medical room that day, taking turns being the doctor.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 17, 2014, 05:35:30 AM
I got fed up with visitor groups so I walled off my base. For some reason, and this baffles me a bit, they now seem to gather up in the same spot outside my colony walls, although there have been exceptions. My best guess now is that the map geography and my colony layout somehow direct the majority of the groups to hang out in that one spot. Soon one of the groups starts to break down mentally due to hunger, fatigue and ugly environment. A tribal goes berserk and dies there quickly in the hands of his friends. So now I have my first corpse there to drop the mood even further. Eventually whole groups succumb to in-fighting and mostly die in that one small area. The whole spot is now littered with corpses. All visitor groups that go hang out there break down in a record time, ending up either fighting or wandering in daze in the vicinity. And why does all this violence and death happen? Because I set up a wall. Am I the 60's East Germany or Israel?

After stumbling on this discovery, I'm now thinking of doing further research to refine this process of fully automated corpse and weapon production. My capitalist senses are tingling and whispering there is great  profit in this, with minimal risk. What started out as a nuisance, ended up as a boost to income and defense, even if unintentionally. I have to find further means to promote disharmony and violence outside.

I've learned that certain individuals are resistant to psychic droning. I'm theorizing that if one were to gather a whole group of these individuals, and simply wait for the eventual arrival of an Ancient Ship, one could create an environment in which madness ensues quickly to everyone but your own people. Preferrably these people would also possess optimistic views towards life, or be otherwise shielded against hardship in general. Even if a rare outsider were to stay sane amidst the heavy background droning, filth, darkness, corpses, hunger and fatigue, that just means one would have another candidate for his or her colony.

This is how religions and cults begin.

...Bow before me.
(and please someone pick up the paper that I dropped. I have a bad back. Sigh.)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 17, 2014, 01:38:50 PM
I got fed up with visitor groups so I walled off my base. For some reason, and this baffles me a bit, they now seem to gather up in the same spot outside my colony walls, although there have been exceptions. My best guess now is that the map geography and my colony layout somehow direct the majority of the groups to hang out in that one spot. Soon one of the groups starts to break down mentally due to hunger, fatigue and ugly environment. A tribal goes berserk and dies there quickly in the hands of his friends. So now I have my first corpse there to drop the mood even further. Eventually whole groups succumb to in-fighting and mostly die in that one small area. The whole spot is now littered with corpses. All visitor groups that go hang out there break down in a record time, ending up either fighting or wandering in daze in the vicinity. And why does all this violence and death happen? Because I set up a wall. Am I the 60's East Germany or Israel?

After stumbling on this discovery, I'm now thinking of doing further research to refine this process of fully automated corpse and weapon production. My capitalist senses are tingling and whispering there is great  profit in this, with minimal risk. What started out as a nuisance, ended up as a boost to income and defense, even if unintentionally. I have to find further means to promote disharmony and violence outside.

I've learned that certain individuals are resistant to psychic droning. I'm theorizing that if one were to gather a whole group of these individuals, and simply wait for the eventual arrival of an Ancient Ship, one could create an environment in which madness ensues quickly to everyone but your own people. Preferrably these people would also possess optimistic views towards life, or be otherwise shielded against hardship in general. Even if a rare outsider were to stay sane amidst the heavy background droning, filth, darkness, corpses, hunger and fatigue, that just means one would have another candidate for his or her colony.

This is how religions and cults begin.

...Bow before me.
(and please someone pick up the paper that I dropped. I have a bad back. Sigh.)

The esoteric order of Dagoooon! Woo! *cheer*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skivvy96 on August 17, 2014, 08:31:32 PM
A tribals just throwing rocks at mechanoids for hours on end with the mechanoid just sitting there and shooting at them as they runn around throwing stuff at it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: CounterFact on August 18, 2014, 01:05:50 AM
One of my colonists, Jessy, got shot in the foot and it got cut off. This reduced her movement speed to 50%.
The next raid I forgot about this reduced speed and used her as a flanking force...
Needless to say that didn't work out so well, since they shot her before she could reach cover.
Guess where they shot her. The other foot! Another foot cut off, again -50% movement speed, giving a grand total of 0% movement speed.
She's been lying in bed ever since. I think she's been in bed now for several weeks, doing nothing but eating my food..
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skivvy96 on August 18, 2014, 07:50:32 AM
One of my colonists, Jessy, got shot in the foot and it got cut off. This reduced her movement speed to 50%.
The next raid I forgot about this reduced speed and used her as a flanking force...
Needless to say that didn't work out so well, since they shot her before she could reach cover.
Guess where they shot her. The other foot! Another foot cut off, again -50% movement speed, giving a grand total of 0% movement speed.
She's been lying in bed ever since. I think she's been in bed now for several weeks, doing nothing but eating my food..

Won't she get cabin fever and go mad.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EscapeZeppelin on August 18, 2014, 09:06:02 AM
She's been lying in bed ever since. I think she's been in bed now for several weeks, doing nothing but eating my food..

Won't she get cabin fever and go mad.

Probably, but with a movement speed of 0% if she does rampage at least it will be quiet. I'm imagining a lot of flailing about in bed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BenjaminJMartin90 on August 18, 2014, 10:28:56 AM
well it all started in the small colony Arc Jax the heroric leader was sawing wood when suddenly alarms rang the female of the colony was caught unaware as the bandit attacked her rendering her unconcious, Jax the heroric leader stormed out of the building chasing down the bandit who was carrying the female away before deciding to shoot her in the head........ true story
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 18, 2014, 03:01:20 PM
A drop pod crashes. It's a survivor! I check her stats.

"Meh." is my reaction.

Then I remember that my empath, Miller, runs around naked.

"I better get him her shirt at least."

Off goes Miller, to "chat" with the survivor, who's now been suffering far out in the desert for at least a day.

"I feel your pain, ma'am. But... would you mind if I borrowed your shirt for a bit? Oh, I know. Your ribs are shattered. I guess this is going to hurt a bit then. I'm so sorry. Am I crying? I get so emotional sometimes. I don't want to do this but I'm sure you understand."

Off comes the shirt, probably together with her dignity. Miller returns to base. A few days pass. Now, my base is completely walled off, and I decide it's time to move the wall a bit. I start removing the wall and setting blueprints for the new one. Suddenly I get a message 'Colonist needs treatment'. It's Miller! I focus to him to see what's happening. A purple name tag hovers next to him.

"Huh? How did that guy get here? Hmm. That's a female... NO... IT CAN'T BE!"

Turns out the lady in the desert was far more resilient than I had anticipated as she was beating Miller with great rage. She had visibly recovered from her "extreme" pain and been wandering in the desert for days. I'm theorizing she survived by eating the survival meals left by previous would-be siegers close by. Of course that wasn't enough to keep her sane and she had ended up berserking, and she had entered my base as soon as I had broken down the wall. Poor Miller. He was incapable of violence, and as a result got a whooole bunch of bruising before his assailant was stopped by the others.

This time I burned her body afterwards just to be sure. Sheesh.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on August 19, 2014, 12:28:35 AM
Sweet holy mother of....
My colony.... every colonist.... all 13 of them....
just got wiped out by deer....
Just deer. Nothing else... No wave of pirates, no psychic wail driving them all mad. Just every single deer on the map rushing then. Three of my people were caught in the open, all instantly killed by a sea of hooves and antlers. 3 more, all armed with miniguns managed to take up defensive positions behind 18 turrets... it wasn't enough. the deer ran past the turrets, leaving a trail of corpses behind, leaped over the sandbags and I had 3 more dead or incapacitated colonists.
All my doors just vanished before the flood. Nothing could stop them. The last 7 colonists died all over my base, just picked off one by one. Most not even getting off a shot.
The final colonist was killed dragging some metal to the hastily placed wall segment in an effort to block the only access door to the room he was in... he just wasn't quick enough.
They are all dead... all dead...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 19, 2014, 03:26:01 AM
Looks like... the buck didn't stop there.
*takes cover*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: HatesYourFace on August 19, 2014, 01:14:08 PM
Looks like... the buck didn't stop there.
*takes cover*

(http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slow_clap_citizen_kane.gif)

Best.

Pun.

Ever.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on August 20, 2014, 05:40:45 PM
I started a new colony in the desert for fun and... Well, I just watched my miner spend 2 days hunting a single beetle.
The tragic part is they are my best shooter and they had the lee-enfield.
They literally started starving to death while shooting at an unconscious Megascarab.
by the time it finally died (presumably of blood loss) the Megascarab had lost 5 legs and had a list of injuries to many other body parts some of which I don't even know what they are.
My miner gained 2 levels of shooting skill and got a fine meal out of it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ShootyFace on August 20, 2014, 10:32:01 PM
I have had a lot of interesting, hilarious, and downright awful things happen playing the stupid amount of hours I have with this game.

My most recent was realizing that a certain 'Doge' was refusing to leave. He would hang about my base, steal food, and then wander out into the map, only to come back and steal more food. Once I noticed the behavior, I kept watching him, and he'd wander out and about, and come back to eat my stocks. I arrested him, and he quickly joined ('such base, much potato') and proved to be a killing machine. Made him a hunter and he kept my colony well stocked in meat, and was a straight up killer when raiders dropped.

Maybe not funny, but both his name and seeing this 'hangabout' behavior for the first time, it's definitely a memorable experience for me.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 21, 2014, 04:23:57 AM
Could this has been the event where a wanderer appears and joins your colony? So he didn't steel food but was actually a colonist, could also be the reason why he joined that fast when you arrested him. Did any faction become hostile when you arrested him?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: theapolaustic1 on August 21, 2014, 05:23:41 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/j1XExHK.png)

The arrow/distance are how far away my colonists were.

That guy they shot in the back was their assassin. He had a 16 in shooting. They killed him for me. Four shots from an R-4, one from an M16. They killed him before they even got the turret down to half health.

That entire situation was funny. After they finished him off and eventually got the turret down, they came along. Two more guys die, the rest run. All throughout combat, I've got my morbidly obese colonist who somehow has Jogger (+32% move speed) as a trait and a pretty high medicine score running out, grabbing colonists, pulling them back, patching them up and then shoving them out of bed and the door so that they can start shooting again.

After we chase them off and everyone climbs into bed, shot to shit but alive and thankful, what happens?

Psychic wave driving a shitload of squirrels insane, and they all attack the door that's out of range of my one remaining turret.

Surprisingly no one died, but the list of injuries took up the entire Health field.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on August 21, 2014, 05:37:37 AM
A prisoner in my jail who lost his leg and has zero movement. His trait? Fast walker  :'(

Newly recruited colonist with crazy high shooting skills. I give him full power armour and a M2 machine gun (from the gun mod). The first time he ventures out to kill something, and the very first time he gets hit ...

... both eyes destroyed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lazarus on August 21, 2014, 05:38:15 AM
Playing the other day I had my colony set up near a mountain side which was nice spot since it only had one way in.

I had two fields set up near the mountain and was also building some new rooms for my pawns when I get a message saying "Roof collapse" curious as my screen was else where at the time I paused and clicked on it to find it had landed on my field with a pawn right next to it... I think we need to add a new feature in so it can say "Shit myself" The area was a no roof zone after that
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 21, 2014, 08:41:51 AM
Could this has been the event where a wanderer appears and joins your colony? So he didn't steel food but was actually a colonist, could also be the reason why he joined that fast when you arrested him. Did any faction become hostile when you arrested him?
Not likely.  If the character was a colonist, he would have automatically had relevant jobs enabled and would have busied himself doing something useful.  That, and there would have been a notification about it.  I'm guessing a faction became hostile instead.  (Which is better than having hoards of visitors steal your food!)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ShootyFace on August 21, 2014, 11:30:05 AM
Dr. Z, no, he didn't join, he was light blue like visiting faction members are. I noticed him right away because of the name, and it wasn't until much later that I realized he hadn't left, and was coming back to my base to help himself to our food. I can't remember what his title was, but it wasn't affiliated with any of the factions in the list. I remember distinctly being distraught that capturing or killing him might tick off one of the factions anyway, so I went with arresting him because I figured I'd need him if I did make a new enemy.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 22, 2014, 12:57:11 PM
So that makes him a faction-less visitor then.  That's interesting.  Bug maybe?  New event?  Either way, that's pretty cool!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 22, 2014, 01:58:03 PM
So that makes him a faction-less visitor then.  That's interesting.  Bug maybe?  New event?  Either way, that's pretty cool!
Probably a crashed drop pod victim that he forgot/left out there, thinking he'd starve sooner or later. They might not do that. I've now had drop pod victims recover on multiple occasions, and have them join my other colonists for breakfast, whether I liked it or not. I think their faction title is 'Space refugee' or somesuch...?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 22, 2014, 04:11:00 PM
So that makes him a faction-less visitor then.  That's interesting.  Bug maybe?  New event?  Either way, that's pretty cool!
Probably a crashed drop pod victim that he forgot/left out there, thinking he'd starve sooner or later. They might not do that. I've now had drop pod victims recover on multiple occasions, and have them join my other colonists for breakfast, whether I liked it or not. I think their faction title is 'Space refugee' or somesuch...?

Oh that'd make sense, cause the spacers can't leave the area to go home
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 24, 2014, 08:54:55 AM
"This looks like a great place to stage a siege."
(pic below, login to view)

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 24, 2014, 03:53:40 PM
!!!

Moar words!  What happened?!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 24, 2014, 04:11:27 PM
!!!

Moar words!  What happened?!

just usual carnage I bet =P

I could print that screen out and frame it and put it on my wall
It's just so good! Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, don't it!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on August 24, 2014, 04:45:38 PM
"This looks like a great place to stage a siege."
(pic below, login to view)

Ohh god. pain in side. Poor poor raiders...

Yeah. it's a dangerous Rimworld out there... Even the trees are telling me not to go out there. So much so they are willing to grow a 9 tile long wall over the exit of your base X.x


[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 24, 2014, 08:21:10 PM
!!!

Moar words!  What happened?!
1. Ancient ship crashes
2. A while passes
3. Raiders drop a little ways to southeast - siege time
4. I'm already excited as they're quite close
5. I giggle like a maniac as they walk closer and closer toward the crashed ship
6. "Aight boys! This is good right here!" (the screenshot) I burst into thunderous laughter.
7. I target my mortars at the ship.
8. Five Scythers are released.
9. Three Scythers remain after what was the quickest fight I've ever seen. What a slaughter.
10. Scythers get wiped in an ambush I set a little later.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on August 25, 2014, 03:14:38 AM
How come the ancient ship related shenanigans are always with you UrbanBourbon?..

Not that I'm complaining of course, that's bloody hilarious.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaplain on August 25, 2014, 04:08:15 AM
I just like the descent into cannibalism framed in journal entries.

Day 15:
Going to go on squirrel hunt with Bob and Janice today.  Hopefully the meat we get will help us survive until help arrives.

Day 16:
Janice missed the squirrel.  Bob is dead.

Day 17:
And tastes pretty good.

Day 18:
Janice does too.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 25, 2014, 04:15:12 AM
I just like the descent into cannibalism framed in journal entries.

Day 15:
Going to go on squirrel hunt with Bob and Janice today.  Hopefully the meat we get will help us survive until help arrives.

Day 16:
Janice missed the squirrel.  Bob is dead.

Day 17:
And tastes pretty good.

Day 18:
Janice does too.

hey! no eating your fellow survivors!


How come the ancient ship related shenanigans are always with you UrbanBourbon?..

Not that I'm complaining of course, that's bloody hilarious.

Don't you see! he's clearly the chosen one of the Ancient ascended god & religion
Prophet Urbyburbs of the Ascension
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on August 25, 2014, 05:00:51 AM
How come the ancient ship related shenanigans are always with you UrbanBourbon?..

Not that I'm complaining of course, that's bloody hilarious.

Don't you see! he's clearly the chosen one of the Ancient ascended god & religion
Prophet Urbyburbs of the Ascension

All praise the prophet!
Only he can guide us in our journey!
PRAISE UNTO URBYBURBS!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UrbanBourbon on August 25, 2014, 06:36:18 AM
How come the ancient ship related shenanigans are always with you UrbanBourbon?..
But that's actually raider related shenanigans! I'm innocent! I suppose it's semantics. I could watch a movie with Nic Cage and Diane Kruger starring it, and someone would be flabbergasted as to why I'd watch a Nic Cage movie when in fact I'm far more interested in Kruger and all I could do is just sit there slack-jawed because I wouldn't have any good defense as to why I'm subjecting myself to visuals of Nic Cage... Next thing I know I'm threatening my nephew because he's trying to blackmail me and tell my sister that I had watched a Nic Cage movie and I just know she'd laugh at me for a week. So what can a man do other than tell the kid "I'll tell her you wanted to watch it with me!" and look at his horrified face as he goes "No! Don't!" and I'm like "I'm texting her right now: 'Josh wanted to watch a Nic Cage movie. Buy napkins, his eyes are getting wet.'" Next thing I know I'm being told to go to my room (no mistake here, I asked specifically if it was the kid or me), so what else can a man do but to go to his second whiskey stash and fire up RimWorld and find himself neck-deep in raider shenanigans.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EscapeZeppelin on August 25, 2014, 08:54:36 AM
Last game I ended up with an empath with a childhood as a vat-grown soldier. Unfortunately she was incapable of violence and psychically deaf. I can see why someone got fed up and dropped her on Rimworld.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 25, 2014, 09:48:01 AM
I just like the descent into cannibalism framed in journal entries.

Day 15:
Going to go on squirrel hunt with Bob and Janice today.  Hopefully the meat we get will help us survive until help arrives.

Day 16:
Janice missed the squirrel.  Bob is dead.

Day 17:
And tastes pretty good.

Day 18:
Janice does too.

hey! no eating your fellow survivors!

Erm, if you're eating them, are they really survivors?  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lazarus on August 26, 2014, 03:54:11 AM
I just like the descent into cannibalism framed in journal entries.

Day 15:
Going to go on squirrel hunt with Bob and Janice today.  Hopefully the meat we get will help us survive until help arrives.

Day 16:
Janice missed the squirrel.  Bob is dead.

Day 17:
And tastes pretty good.

Day 18:
Janice does too.

hey! no eating your fellow survivors!

Erm, if you're eating them, are they really survivors?  ;)

There is nothing wrong with this quote... :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaplain on August 27, 2014, 05:16:44 AM
I suppose the other one I like to do is giving injuries and deaths some entertaining conversation between doctors.

Doc 1:  So hear what happened to Jenkins during the last rabid squirrel hunt?
Doc 2:  Does it involve me breaking out the box of eye patches for the 5th time this week?
Doc 1:  No.  Slightly worse actually.  Let's just say he won't be getting married anytime soon.
Doc 2:  OMG!  One of those things really chewed off his--
Doc 1:  Yup, got the whole left hand ring finger.
Doc 2:  Uh... Yeah...

Or...

Doc:  Casualty report from the last raid is in.
Colony Direct:  Ah let's see here.  2 missing eyes, a chopped off hand, a shot out kidney and lung, and what's this last one?  "Fatal case of heart burn"?  What does that even mean.
Doc:  Oh that?  The guy down in the morgue was bored and has started spicing up the death certificates.  I wanna say that was for an incendiary grenade round blowing the guys heart out his back.
Colony Direct:  Well that's a little morbid don't you think?
Doc:  Heh, you should see what the cook put on the menu after he got the body.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Freya 'Tail' Fairwing on August 27, 2014, 07:16:52 AM
Shot the eye clean out of a squirrel without damaging the head. I don't even know how that's possible. Plus, its status was still 'Healthy'

So, the game means to tell me there's a squirrel scurrying around with only one eye, the other eye replaced by a 5.56 round gently sizzling in the night sky, and the squirrel is just all 'Nah, I'm cool' and acting like nothing's wrong.

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 27, 2014, 07:18:44 AM
You know, squirrels are just so damned cool, they don't even need the eye.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 27, 2014, 08:14:55 AM
Shot the eye clean out of a squirrel without damaging the head. I don't even know how that's possible. Plus, its status was still 'Healthy'

So, the game means to tell me there's a squirrel scurrying around with only one eye, the other eye replaced by a 5.56 round gently sizzling in the night sky, and the squirrel is just all 'Nah, I'm cool' and acting like nothing's wrong.

He had good reflexes and very strong muscular eye lids
squeezed the lids so hard the bullet had to stop right there without advancing any further

It's just a hunters' legend waiting to happen! "Tha Ol' Bullet eye, still scurrying bout out thar! Ain't nobody has evarr managed to hunt 'im down, Arr"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Damien Hart on August 27, 2014, 03:04:21 PM
Shot the eye clean out of a squirrel without damaging the head. I don't even know how that's possible. Plus, its status was still 'Healthy'

So, the game means to tell me there's a squirrel scurrying around with only one eye, the other eye replaced by a 5.56 round gently sizzling in the night sky, and the squirrel is just all 'Nah, I'm cool' and acting like nothing's wrong.

He had good reflexes and very strong muscular eye lids
squeezed the lids so hard the bullet had to stop right there without advancing any further

It's just a hunters' legend waiting to happen! "Tha Ol' Bullet eye, still scurrying bout out thar! Ain't nobody has evarr managed to hunt 'im down, Arr"

And with each telling of the legend, the details will change more and more, until eventually the squirrel is the size of a bear, with claws like scythes, waiting to reap unwary colonists, and that one great eye, smouldering with an eternal vengeance for the one who took his other eye... Which by that stage, will have been removed by an RPG.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on August 27, 2014, 03:16:02 PM
Yeah, 'nother squirrel-story just happened:

Today my farmer was hunting a squirrel with a Sjörgen Rifle (3-shot-burst, Project Armory). She managed to shoot multiple times in all four legs, the tail, the ear and the eye before...incapacitating it... :(
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sir Wagglepuss III on August 27, 2014, 04:46:41 PM
It's always the squirrels...

I set up my prison building around the 20 day mark or so, bunch of beds in one room with a connecting room (No door) housing a table and chairs in it.

Whilst setting it up I failed to notice a squirrel hanging around, and he became locked in the prison building as it was constructed. My knee-jerk reaction was to make food of the little critter and be done with it, but I thought I'd leave him in there to see how long he lasts.

Well, I forgot about him and a day or two later a tribal prisoner takes up residence. This guy takes a ridiculous amount of time to score lucky on the recruit and it isn't until around day 60 that this guy finally gives in. When the notification pops up at long last that this guy had enough of pacing his cell for weeks on end, I give the prison building a proper check... To see the very same squirrel, still running around.

The little sod survived by eating part of the prisoner's meals as they were being delivered (Floor was done up with wood planks, so he wasn't munching grass/berries).

I gave in, and made an extension on the prison building with a wooden fence (Mod) so that the squirrel could survive off the grass/berries that grew there. The colony is about 160 days old now and he's still in there, being our mascot and keeping the prisoners company.

I imagine when the colony finally burns to the ground, he'll still be there.

Wandering.

Eating.
Title: A Lonely R(a)ider
Post by: Maria on August 27, 2014, 09:55:56 PM
It must be the time a large group of pirates was building a base on the other side of the map. My hard working colonist were very busy hauling the previous pirates`food and supplies into their own stockpile. We had managed to get them early in their attack, so there was much left for my men to loot.

Suddenly a lonely pirate starts to walk across the map, toward an unfinished turret, in the defeated pirate base. Carrying arms full of metal. He was going to continue building the turret that the previous pirate group did not manage to finish. That poor idiot.

My colonist did nothing but wait for his arrival, and gun him down. Poor guy, he was largely outnumbered. But what do you think happened next? To my surprise another pirate started to walk towards the turret. Gunned him down as well. This happened over and over, until the very last man in that pirate band was gone.

I could do nothing else than laugh, what a great way to defeat such a large group of nasty pirates!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on August 29, 2014, 12:18:54 PM
Some of my guys were emptying the graves to cremate the bodies so I can fit more
dead people in there

the siegers thought they'd help me a bit with my task and started hurling incineration shells over there

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Srgntcuddles on August 29, 2014, 01:44:21 PM
Gandalf in the making!
http://imgur.com/nKQopNV

Another one I don't have a picture for, I piled all my corpses outside my front door. Made it moderately difficult to break in to ensure max time for negative effects to break the mind and let that crashed pod get to extreme level. Result was everyone that wasn't my psychically deaf only colonists going crazy. No more pesky visitors eating my rations...Now they eat each other!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mickel on August 31, 2014, 01:44:19 PM
So yeah, typical pirate raid, about 20-30 of them for each of my colonists. Until two dozen pirates decide to cluster as close to two of my mortars as they can and then shoot them with everything they had.

And then the pirates had a slightly lower numerical advantage.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on September 01, 2014, 12:41:56 PM
The day a Boomrat snuck its way into my battery room, and exploded after 2 day of being stuck there.
Put my colony in total darkness for 3 days.
Gotta love boomrats :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on September 01, 2014, 12:45:44 PM
Most favorite moment? having 4 colonists and a MAI defending my base equiped with M-24's miniguns and an energy rifle my blind colonist called "EnterElysium" kills the most raiders including with 5 headshots. Then raiders got angry and incapped all the colonists including MAI. She's not friendly when incapped. 1 word.....BOOM! Gordon dead :/ laughed my ass off though when raiders got owned
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on September 01, 2014, 12:55:29 PM
What is a MAI?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on September 01, 2014, 03:13:13 PM
What is a MAI?
A MAI aka "Mobile Artifical Intelligence" is part of a mod. Its basically a smart robot.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SubZeroBricks on September 02, 2014, 09:15:48 AM
Well.. of all the trading ship names I have seen, I found this one hilarious...

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on September 02, 2014, 10:05:53 AM
Well.. of all the trading ship names I have seen, I found this one hilarious...
Ah that one xD got that one so many times. From food supplier to combat supplier
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mickel on September 02, 2014, 06:30:56 PM
So a group of friendlies is visiting, walking around in my bunker, eating my food... you know the drill.

And then another group of friendlies visits, and starts to walk around, eating my food...

Then they both come down the same corridor from different directions, reach a corner at the same time and come face to face. Turns out they weren't friendly to each other.

So for a couple of minutes it's my colonists going

"Guys... do you mind? We're trying to work here..."

"Guys... I know you don't like each other and all but this is OUR bunker and..."

"Guys?"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BetaSpectre on September 02, 2014, 10:54:35 PM
I decided that I really didn't like some of my angsty colonists so I sent one on a mission of GLORY GLORIOUS retribution for daring to not pick up more than 5 wood at a time to build a wall.

So I sent him to encase a rather troublesome fallen space ship part in WOOD. Slowly but surely the colonist labored to encase the mind breaking oOOOHHHHHHH. Don't mind me. As I was typing.

I instructed the rather down fellow to then unconstruct his WORK hehehehhehehehehehhe.

As he labored to press the deconstruct switch on all the walls a miracle appeared. The ship part vanished. Poof without a trace. Nothing was left and nothing could be found.

A miracle indeed my good friends.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EscapeZeppelin on September 03, 2014, 03:48:43 PM
As he labored to press the deconstruct switch on all the walls a miracle appeared. The ship part vanished. Poof without a trace. Nothing was left and nothing could be found.

A miracle indeed my good friends.

Ha, or you collapsed the roof on it. That seems to be the cleanest way of destroying it in A6
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on September 04, 2014, 08:14:32 PM
As he labored to press the deconstruct switch on all the walls a miracle appeared. The ship part vanished. Poof without a trace. Nothing was left and nothing could be found.

A miracle indeed my good friends.

Miracle You say? Why would you deny the gift?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SubZeroBricks on September 05, 2014, 04:25:12 PM
You want funny? Try go hunting with grenades... enough said...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SSS on September 05, 2014, 06:01:17 PM
You want funny? Try go hunting with grenades... enough said...

Smokey the Bear says only YOU can prevent forest fires. :p
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ShootyFace on September 05, 2014, 06:43:55 PM
You want funny? Try go hunting with grenades... enough said...

Playing a lot of vanilla Randy lately, having some absolutely insane 50 vs. 50 battles. The natives seem fully capable of obliterating themselves, especially with my current colony.

That said, had marked a bunch of megascarabs and iguanas to be hunted, only to realize a few minutes later I had armed one of my hunters with molotovs to burn a heap of bodies across the map. Was laughing pretty hard watching him try and hunt with the molotovs.

Same colony, picking up after a huge-mongous battle right outside the walls of my base. Saw a yellow '!' amidst a pile of bodies, with friendlies milling about nearby. Sent one of my colonists to capture the downed person, only to get obliterated the second I picked him/her up, seeing as it was one of theirs. Same friendlies had around 30 people in my base when this happened, so not only did the guys outside go red in the face and begin assaulting me, the entire group inside my base started shooting. Instant colony death. Allowed myself a reload after that mess.

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Andellmere on September 07, 2014, 02:27:57 PM
During one of my colonies I'd mostly been playing the hermit. Subsisting off of stuff grown in a tiny courtyard and just generally not doing anything outside. When I ran out of metal, I naturally went scrolling about for some that was just on the ground and ripe for hauling. And there was a centipede mech on my map. For a moment I panicked, I'll admit. And then I noticed that it was laying on it's side. Incapacitated. 'What the hell?' I think to myself and check to see if I missed an epic battle between my colonists and a mech. Every wound. Every single one. All from tribal weapons. There were no tribal corpses nearby.
Fear the tribals my friends. Fear them.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cpt.Fupa on September 07, 2014, 04:22:50 PM
unkillable dead raider bug

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xw3HiX36U4&list=UUK3eoeo-HGHH11Pevo1MzfQ
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zeta Omega on September 11, 2014, 09:18:39 PM
unkillable dead raider bug

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xw3HiX36U4&list=UUK3eoeo-HGHH11Pevo1MzfQ
That was.......Interesting to say the least
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Reaper on September 13, 2014, 05:42:56 AM
Well.. of all the trading ship names I have seen, I found this one hilarious...

I must say though that having that name on a slaver ship is the best.......
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zsword on September 14, 2014, 11:51:54 PM
Oh I wish I got a screenshot of Ian.

The Vatgrown Soldier, Medieval Minstrel. If I remember right, all he could do was... craft I think. Craft and Fight. He was a solo attacker on my base. He ate one bullet, panicked, and ran, so i sadly couldn't keep him. :(
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: foxxxyk on September 16, 2014, 10:01:12 PM
when a large group of raiders come, but 6 of them get killed before they see my colonists from shooting a turret (crossfire) but then tribals come and wipe out all but three who flee, one dies of blood loss, one starvation, and one a squirrel. two of the survivors were assassins, and iron-willed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on September 18, 2014, 07:20:10 AM
Big colony in Random Randy. 30-40 colonists. I sell four prisoners who were missing legs. DIDN'T REALISE that the negative thoughts relating to selling prisoners STACKED. -22 right away. Big tribal party bug out and fail to leave. Starvation and rampages leave corpses everywhere. This was right after a big pirate raid so corpses and corpses and corpses everywhere. Then I get a big psychic drone (-25, male) and a battery discharge blows up a wall and sets one of my rose gardens on fire. All the men start to go nuts and both my hospital and prison get filled to overflowing. Two colonists dead so far and most of the men in prison.

Then BIG group from another town decides to visit and hang out in my central courtyard. Did I mention that there was a psychic drone on? Well, they've only just arrived and are already shooting at each other.

 It sounds bad but I'm laughing. All I need now is a mechanoid raid. ::)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on September 18, 2014, 12:25:19 PM
Quote
All I need now is a psycho squirrel raid. ::)

FTFY.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thibideau on September 18, 2014, 11:43:37 PM
The is the first time I've posted here but figured this would be a good place to start.

I've been playing on a map for a while now and just managed to get to year 3. Anyways the first person I managed to recruit after the start was a crash landed pop star named Min. She really wasn't a great asset but she has amazing social and constructing so I've kept her around. The rub is that she's Very neurotic so she has a high mental break thresh hold. As luck would have it of the 5 times that I've had a gender specific drone wave come around 4 out of 5 were female and every time the same thing happens. I have to arrest Min before she runs off the map. Once she's in my prison she goes berserk and someone has to go in and smack her.

The sad part is that each time she ends up taking some sort of catastrophic damage in the scuffle and I now have the ugliest pop start in the known universe. The first time they crushed her right eye, the second they destroyed her left arm, the third time it was a shattered rib, and most recently they destroyed her left foot. She's currently hobbling around my prison waiting to be recruited once more. I don't think she has many more of these little temper tantrums left before she ends up a red smear on the prison floor >>
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on September 21, 2014, 04:41:06 AM
I carefully, and expensively, build up a stash of emergency rations in case of dire need ... then my "visitors" decide to help themselves to the lot of it.

(http://i.imgur.com/R1pO8jN.png)

If you put your ear up close to the image, you can just about hear me scream "NOOOOOOoOoOOoooooooo!!!!"

I don't feel so bad about walling them off in a giant tomb now.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on September 21, 2014, 06:14:26 AM
The post above is exactly why I love the visitors so much!
they're like on the level with Winnie the pooh in unintentional jerkiness
but just.. hundreds of them
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Blipblapjack on September 21, 2014, 01:10:08 PM
3 Tribal bandits prepare to set up to siege. a minute later, 2 retreat from a squirrel attacking them.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hunter2012 on September 21, 2014, 09:25:44 PM
I carefully, and expensively, build up a stash of emergency rations in case of dire need ... then my "visitors" decide to help themselves to the lot of it.

image removed - don't quote giant images

If you put your ear up close to the image, you can just about hear me scream "NOOOOOOoOoOOoooooooo!!!!"

I don't feel so bad about walling them off in a giant tomb now.
Just .....How?!?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: C. Fenderson on September 21, 2014, 11:35:58 PM
Within the first week, right after I built my first turret, a group of 3 (I play on Phoebe) friendlies pops up.  I decide to test out the new turret on one named Johs.  He gets incapacitated, the rest of them get pissed off, and a fight ensues.  Next thing I know, I see a 'headshot' on my lee user.  He fights until the end.  We get him fixed up, but both of his eyes are gone now, I wind up recruiting Johs.
Since then, lee wielder (can't remember his name offhand) has given me a world of trouble.  A male psychic drone passed over and caused him to go insane, so I had to arrest him.  He was my ONLY researcher at the time.  Recruited him again, and I regularly get warnings of a mental break because the little boomer just doesn't want to eat.  He consistently starves himself every time he goes to that research table.  Think it might be because he can't read anything, but whatever.  I have to draft/undraft him every time he decides to go on hunger strike, which is every couple of days.
And, to top it all off, he complains when it's dark.  How can you even TELL that it's dark?!  You don't have any eyes!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DoomerDGR8 on September 24, 2014, 07:07:40 AM
Within the first week, right after I built my first turret, a group of 3 (I play on Phoebe) friendlies pops up.  I decide to test out the new turret on one named Johs.  He gets incapacitated, the rest of them get pissed off, and a fight ensues.  Next thing I know, I see a 'headshot' on my lee user.  He fights until the end.  We get him fixed up, but both of his eyes are gone now, I wind up recruiting Johs.
Since then, lee wielder (can't remember his name offhand) has given me a world of trouble.  A male psychic drone passed over and caused him to go insane, so I had to arrest him.  He was my ONLY researcher at the time.  Recruited him again, and I regularly get warnings of a mental break because the little boomer just doesn't want to eat.  He consistently starves himself every time he goes to that research table.  Think it might be because he can't read anything, but whatever.  I have to draft/undraft him every time he decides to go on hunger strike, which is every couple of days.
And, to top it all off, he complains when it's dark.  How can you even TELL that it's dark?!  You don't have any eyes!
(http://i57.tinypic.com/212e455.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Spidyy on September 24, 2014, 03:20:48 PM
My favorite charater : Ellie (renamed), teacher, Excellent cooking, social and research skills...

15 year old.

I wish I could keep her in every colony. :p
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on September 24, 2014, 10:45:11 PM
My favorite charater : Ellie (renamed), teacher, Excellent cooking, social and research skills...

15 year old.

I wish I could keep her in every colony. :p

Even better would be if she'd always be the last survivor in any colony she's in. Therefore she'll always have the distinction of being..."The Last of Us."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Matthiasagreen on September 25, 2014, 10:25:56 AM
a bit funny but more frustrating.

Three starting guys with guns (obviously) against the second raid with three tribespeople. I am behind a set of sandbags  and they are partially covered around corners of the mountain. I am getting shot after shot in on one guy and he doesn't go down. He keeps throwing pilas at me with no success. The fight goes on surprisingly long until the pila-wielding tribesman finally gets a single shot on me.




And rips off my leg.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MarvinKosh on September 25, 2014, 08:16:16 PM
Crashed ship part which I couldn't destroy even with four mortars going.

Then a hostile tribe launches an attack and, well, on their way they run into some Centipedes and Scythers.  By the end of it, the mechanoids are all dead or incapacitated, and the ship part?  It's been destroyed by friendly fire from the Centipedes.

Just goes to show, sometimes negative events don't go the way the storyteller intended. ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Matthiasagreen on September 26, 2014, 09:40:38 AM
The Storyteller is never wrong! She/He meant to do that! All hail The Storytellers!
Title: Demonic Possession
Post by: kingtyris on September 26, 2014, 07:42:11 PM
So Strapping became fixated on this one Packaged Survival Meal. She would sit at the table and stare at it, but not eat it. She would occasionally walk into the food storage with it, only to walk back out and start staring again.

Eventually, she starved to death. But her corpse remained red, her name didn't go away, and her corpse started sliding across the floor of its own free will. Scary indeed...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Peaches on September 28, 2014, 09:16:34 PM
I was besieged and my colonists were asleep. The pirates shot a mortar from across a large map, it hit my housing block, and landed on one of my colonist's head amd exploded. I looked at the corpse's body overlay and the colonist didn't die from the explosion but from the impact of a mortar hitting his head....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Peaches on September 28, 2014, 09:21:36 PM
Strapping was eating nutrient paste when a mortar from pirates flew into the room and was a direct hit on him and killed him. I looked at his body overlay and the mortar explosion didn't kill him but the impact of the mortar hitting his head killed him.....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Smasher5523 on September 29, 2014, 03:28:52 PM
I once had a prisoner with a chunk of deer meat on his face while he slept, but he ate it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on September 30, 2014, 07:01:50 AM
Early in a game I had one visitor in power armour and a sniper rifle suffer a mental breakdown in the wilderness. Not wanting my colonists to get shot at, I cancelled all orders on that part of the map and then just forgot about him. At the time I had no power armour and just Lee-Enfield rifles so that one guy was a real threat to my colonists.

I found him later having been beaten into a pulp by a few deer.

A power armoured stormtrooper on a psychotic rampage was taken down by Bambi.

(http://i.imgur.com/6Z2xk55.jpg)

I'm now paranoid about the deer on my map  :-\
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BassMonroe on September 30, 2014, 08:15:43 AM
A power armoured stormtrooper on a psychotic rampage was taken down by Bambi.

I was messing around in debug mode yesterday and did 20 deers vs 10 mercs and i made the deers have a psychotic rampage and surprisingly they killed all the mercs only losing 4. They swarmed them and then just did their thing haha
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Barley on September 30, 2014, 11:29:37 PM
Makes me want to see more wildlife in the game. Dangerous wildlife. Like a bear or something.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ascdren on October 01, 2014, 03:40:14 AM
Makes me want to see more wildlife in the game. Dangerous wildlife. Like a bear or something.

SEEEriously? we allready have deadly squirrel zerg swarms
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on October 01, 2014, 04:55:24 AM
I was in desperately need for an industrial trader and eventually one was hitting my colonie. I send one of my guys to the comms and right at the moment when he reaches the interaction tile, like a millisecond before using it, a solar flare happenes...


Randy is just the biggest jackass in the universe.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Raufgar on October 01, 2014, 05:23:42 AM
Makes me want to see more wildlife in the game. Dangerous wildlife. Like a bear or something.

SEEEriously? we allready have deadly squirrel zerg swarms

Not to mention a 20-odd psychotic deer stampede on my defenseless colony (just had the walls put in) courtesy of Randy... who, after my 23 man colony was reduced to 2, dropped off a 40 man raid party that killed my FPS...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: REMworlder on October 02, 2014, 01:53:37 PM
I just watched one of my colonists beat a pirate to death then promptly eat the pirate's fine meal. Five second rule.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 03, 2014, 04:34:02 PM
My only Cook and Doctor Miriam "Miracle" Clements gets plague, then shortly after she gets Malaria (and the starvation) and I was totally out of any food cause I wasn't paying attention to my stockpiles and I'm all out of medikits and silver too now, so I can't fully treat her

I knew naming her Miracle was just tempting fate =P

Also! Synthread Tribalwear!
(http://i.imgur.com/Ce6Pup0.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on October 03, 2014, 09:56:42 PM
I indoctrinated a raider called "Gay" who was both optimistic and sanguine.

What are the chances of that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wooaa on October 03, 2014, 11:11:11 PM
I had one of my colonists get his neck ripped of by a scarab. His body was otherwise undamaged.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 04, 2014, 05:31:05 AM
I indoctrinated a raider called "Gay" who was both optimistic and sanguine.

What are the chances of that.

Aw If I've learned anything from watching Hearthsone
It's always 50/50
Either it happens or it doesn't
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on October 04, 2014, 04:59:48 PM
You know what bad luck is? Starting the game with catarct and getting half his eye eaten up by a crazy Iguana. Say hello to Zeiph, my scientist, craftsman and dotor...who is blind now.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 04, 2014, 05:14:17 PM
You know what bad luck is? Starting the game with catarct and getting half his eye eaten up by a crazy Iguana. Say hello to Zeiph, my scientist, craftsman and dotor...who is blind now.
That'll make a fine story if you manage to restore his sight =P
He'll probably suffer through plague, malaria and flu and whatever else before that though
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wolfman1911 on October 05, 2014, 03:59:35 AM
Did I ever mention the time that my underground colony, which had previously withstood raiding parties of significant size, got trampled to death under the hoofs of a herd of psychotic muffalo? They broke down the doors and everything. I figured that was not a worthy end to that colony, so I reloaded and took positions to easily kill the muffalo, only to be wiped out by a horde of psychotic squirrels. It was as if the game had said "You reloaded did you? Was that not a humiliating enough end for your colony? Well then have this!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on October 05, 2014, 03:52:29 PM
Well, I wanted to test if Alpha 7 got right the bug of resetting relationships at the loading.
So I arrested a lone tribesmen, I saved and I loaded. They are still pissed off.
Good, I think, so I load the previous (when the tribesman appeared, but I didn't arrest him) save, and go on. After a while, I hear the sound of a turret firing..? WTF? Turns out, after the load, they are STILL at war with me?!? (this could actually be a bug, but it was funny!) ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: togt on October 07, 2014, 01:55:30 AM
My favorite colonist was injured yesterday, she recovered quickly though.  Strange to see an injury on her neck: tortoise beak.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on October 07, 2014, 03:18:30 AM
My favorite colonist was injured yesterday, she recovered quickly though.  Strange to see an injury on her neck: tortoise beak.


"Tortoise hickey"? Kinky.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ragonath on October 08, 2014, 11:42:00 AM
(http://imgur.com/G2M1L64.png)
This is a bit awkward.. I only wanted to buy some weapons.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TankaaKumawani on October 08, 2014, 12:15:30 PM
The glitch that allows the wearing of dusters over power armor is rather amusing.  You just have to swap the armor vest for power armor while wearing a duster...and you can mimic the Trenchcoats of Incongruity scene from early in Schlock Mercenary's run.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shiftyeyesshady on October 09, 2014, 01:17:31 PM
So I had a badass colony. All my colonists were in Power Armor with Power Armor helmets wearing Devilstrand pants, shirts, and dusters. Nearly all of them were cyborgs to some degree. They were packing Charge Rifles and Miniguns.

So I get a psychic wave event, Squirrels gone mad. I draft 8 of my colonists for cleanup duty. They all managed to get incapacitated by an unholy squirrel swarm. I had to draft the entire rest of the colony to rescue them.

No Casualties, but they downed 8 colonists wearing the heaviest armor and the most powerful weapons. Squirrels.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Fernbhoy on October 09, 2014, 01:43:37 PM
(http://imgur.com/G2M1L64.png)
This is a bit awkward.. I only wanted to buy some weapons.

i loled :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: omar1ofg on October 09, 2014, 11:31:26 PM
On day 15th my group killed a centipede and a few other inconveniences, sadly i lost 5 people and literally a few hours later i get 3 consecutive events ending with Tynan invading for the finishing blow. Worst of all the last 3  guys are workers not fighters.

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 10, 2014, 06:05:07 AM
On day 15th my group killed a centipede and a few other inconveniences, sadly i lost 5 people and literally a few hours later i get 3 consecutive events ending with Tynan invading for the finishing blow. Worst of all the last 3  guys are workers not fighters.

Incapable of Intellectual, dumb labour, skilled labour, caring, social
Masochist

..That's Tynan allright! ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on October 10, 2014, 06:54:44 AM
But he's proficient at Bad magic.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Borajs on October 10, 2014, 08:14:02 AM
My colonist became Voldemort
(http://imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img537/1343/nLXjDQ.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on October 10, 2014, 10:14:33 AM
My colonist became Voldemort
Actually, silver noses are a medieval prosthetics...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EscapeZeppelin on October 10, 2014, 11:12:09 AM
I had my colonists ferrying gold back to the base when a psychic blast drove the wildlife insane. I lost four colonists to vicious attack monkeys.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on October 10, 2014, 12:03:49 PM
I had my colonists ferrying gold back to the base when a psychic blast drove the wildlife insane. I lost four colonists to vicious attack monkeys.

that's how it starts, then they start shouting NOOOOOO and blow up the statue of liberty.

Wonder how many alarm bells that sentence set off lol!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Matthiasagreen on October 10, 2014, 12:07:31 PM
I had my colonists ferrying gold back to the base when a psychic blast drove the wildlife insane. I lost four colonists to vicious attack monkeys.

(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-r021DwVAxtc/UH4Zup-tQDI/AAAAAAAAAoU/AWhY1km_6JQ/s1600/tarzan+angry+baboons.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 10, 2014, 12:18:32 PM
I had my colonists ferrying gold back to the base when a psychic blast drove the wildlife insane. I lost four colonists to vicious attack monkeys.

(http://i.imgur.com/0s902l1.jpg)

Oh my god is.. is that... ..Rafiki?! why?! WHYyyyY?! NO!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on October 10, 2014, 12:29:12 PM
that's MUCH scarier than the original....I pooped.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sion on October 10, 2014, 07:19:32 PM
My funniest story must be when a raid went horribly wrong (back in something like alpha 3 or 4), I think I had something like 3 colonists and 5 prisoners when the attack happened, unfortunately I no longer remember exactly what happened, but I remember the end result.

2 of my colonists where dead and the 3'rd was incapacitated with no means of rescue, eventually he started starving, but I decided to wait it out and see if the story teller would help me in some way, like sending a random wanderer that joins our colony, but no, eventually he died, but the story doesn't end there!!

I still have 5 people in prison and now they have no one that can take care of them, so I'm waiting, unable to help them in any way, I just have to see what will happen, after a while the prisoners starts starving... then that's when it finally happened!!

A squirrel have a mental breakdown and have decided that it should try to kill any and all humans on the map, so it runs up to the iron door and starts bashing the door, and bashing... and bashing... and bashing... eventually that tiny lite maniac to squirrel manages to break down that huge iron door and comes flying into the prison like a cute little furry ball of teeth, claws and death, it starts attacking one of the prisoners witch defends itself as good as he can, as soon as the other prisoners noticed that the door is gone they waist no time at all, abandoning the fighting couple and runs for the edge of the map, all 5 prisoners eventually manages to reach the map border, and thus they were the first 5 survivors of RimWorld!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MacG on October 11, 2014, 06:07:38 PM
Funniest moment for me.

Just finished dealing with a pirate raid and had a pawn in the hospital getting a leg refit. While he was under a narsty siege happened. First mortar they launch land directly on his head blowing out his eye and dropping his brain to 1hp.

Worst moment.

After a few days of back and forth mortar fire got the siege down to 2 guys. Sent out my commissar (yarrick) to mop up the last severely injured guys. He had power armor, power helmet, power claw, bionic eye and an r4. Got off a few shots all hitting. Pirate returns fire with his pistol. 1 shot to the kidney, dead.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dieform on October 12, 2014, 02:26:27 AM
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/1556553/SquirrelAintGonnaMakeIt.PNG)

This picture pretty much speaks for itself, but in case ya'll wanted the full detail:

0) I'm prepared to build a ship but I need an AI core.
1) Alien starship crashes; I poke it and run, then I build a forward base (note generator and turrets) and begin mortaring.
2) While I'm doing this, ENEMY RAIDERS ARRIVE AND BUILD MORTARS.
3) Throw incendiaries at enemy to keep them busy, switch to snipers for mechs.
4) I've killed the mechs, the raiders are mostly done for/starving so I can ignore them. Begin shooting the starship, NOTHING CAN STOP ME.
5) OH GOD NO! A psychic wave has driven local wild life insane. GET TO THE TURRETS IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE.
6) Squirrel! Somebody's got to help squirrel! He's being mobbed by..  squirrels? That's oddly ironic.

Eventually he was saved, and I got the AI core. Though not before the last surviving raider sniped one of my best warriors and kidnapped him. I wish I could call them up and randsom him back T_T. Maybe I could trade him for Squirrel (who originally came from that band of pirates).
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 12, 2014, 05:38:25 AM
Squirrel! Somebody's got to help squirrel! He's being mobbed by..  squirrels? That's oddly ironic.

haha =P why does that picture make me think of this
(http://www.texturetranscribed.com/assets/2011/04/ducks-in-a-row2-300x146.jpg)

love it
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TemplarGFX on October 12, 2014, 08:58:06 PM
Playing with Randy Random when I get my first ever siege. I was totally unprepared for the bandits to be setting up a little base on my map with mortars (and I had none myself to counter). I had no armor to speak of, and only pistols and rifles.

Thinking this band of 20+ vermin with 3 mortars was going to end me, luck quickly turned my way when Randy decided to send a second siege group of the same size from another faction in at the same time, practically next to each other.

These two factions were dire enemies. Needless to say, they did not want to share killing us.  By the time they had sorted out there differences, only 3 bandits had survived and they fled.

I got soo much loot from that encounter :p
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EBrown on October 12, 2014, 09:10:39 PM
Playing with Randy Random when I get my first ever siege. I was totally unprepared for the bandits to be setting up a little base on my map with mortars (and I had none myself to counter). I had no armor to speak of, and only pistols and rifles.

Thinking this band of 20+ vermin with 3 mortars was going to end me, luck quickly turned my way when Randy decided to send a second siege group of the same size from another faction in at the same time, practically next to each other.

These two factions were dire enemies. Needless to say, they did not want to share killing us.  By the time they had sorted out there differences, only 3 bandits had survived and they fled.

I got soo much loot from that encounter :p
Maybe randy is just looking out for you.

Thanks,
EBrown
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: togt on October 13, 2014, 01:43:38 AM
I put a one-armed colonist on mining duty.  When a starvation notice came up I tracked it down, turned out to be the one-armed guy trying to mine Plasteel.  I took him off mining duty to get some food into him.

I would love to have a feature ingame to thank my colonists for the special things they do (or try to do).   
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on October 14, 2014, 09:29:18 AM
I had to laugh...
A group of hostiles arrived on the map and started setting up siege camp exactly where a previous camp had been!
In order to sell off the ration packs from that past siege without having to haul them across the entire map I had placed a trade beacon on that spot.
There was a ship in orbit...
Hey!! I just got a new lot of ration packs to sell you!

And I just got hit by a solar flare X.x
Every single battery in my base had 666 units of stored power. 0.0
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TemplarGFX on October 14, 2014, 09:07:29 PM
Thinking I'm all smart and clever, I build this very mazy entrance way to my colony with plans to fill it specially placed turrets later.  its too early in the game at the moment to actually get those turrets up and running, and I had no stone yet, so I made it out of wood.

Guess what turned up?  an incendiary centipede mech!   As you can imagine, 3 people vs a fire throwing mechanoid on a hot clear day surrounded by wood walls did not go well :p

http://imgur.com/V5Af62v

Oh Randy, I swear you did that to me on purpose
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on October 14, 2014, 10:55:05 PM
I had to laugh...
A group of hostiles arrived on the map and started setting up siege camp exactly where a previous camp had been!
In order to sell off the ration packs from that past siege without having to haul them across the entire map I had placed a trade beacon on that spot.
There was a ship in orbit...
Hey!! I just got a new lot of ration packs to sell you!


And I just got hit by a solar flare X.x
Every single battery in my base had 666 units of stored power. 0.0

I just had an absolutely evil idea... cover the entire map in overlapping trade beacon fields... sell the raider's metal and rations before they can manage to setup, every time.

 We _WILL_ sell everything on this planet if it, even if it means selling the planet itself!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Xminor1 on October 15, 2014, 12:56:20 AM
About 50 besiegers getting killed by insane members of their own group.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on October 15, 2014, 02:02:19 PM
I just had an absolutely evil idea... cover the entire map in overlapping trade beacon fields... sell the raider's metal and rations before they can manage to setup, every time.

 We _WILL_ sell everything on this planet if it, even if it means selling the planet itself!

Wow, I gotta try that out!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 15, 2014, 02:20:30 PM
I just had an absolutely evil idea... cover the entire map in overlapping trade beacon fields... sell the raider's metal and rations before they can manage to setup, every time.

 We _WILL_ sell everything on this planet if it, even if it means selling the planet itself!

Wow, I gotta try that out!
Knowing the game, the storyteller will make a very good judgement and decide that no, you do not need tradeships right at this moment
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: REMworlder on October 15, 2014, 02:46:09 PM
That trading mechanic would be genius. I've done some of it with corpses already, but selling food away from raiders is awesome.

http://i.imgur.com/4sUvQdm.jpg
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sion on October 16, 2014, 03:49:21 PM
This happened less than 5 minutes ago, a lightning thunderstorm had just started and suddenly a lightning strike hits my research table and a adjacent power cable witch setts them on fire, and all my colonists rushes to put out the fire.
Just as they have finished fighting the fire and turned their backs at the research table THE FREAKING LIGHTNING HITS THE SAME EXACT TILE AGAIN!!!
How awesome isn't that?
It has now been proven beyond all doubt that in RimWorld the lightning CAN strike the same spot twice!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Terramorphus on October 16, 2014, 07:24:25 PM
My first alpha 7 colony, I decided to punish my 2 prisoners that refused to join the colony (99% recruitment difficulty). I cut off both their legs, replaced them with peggs, took one lung and kidney from each of them, then freed them from their prison :o. I couldn't help but laugh, thinking about what a local tribe or pirate gang would think of my colony if they saw two people with stilts as legs, hobbling away from my colony, cursing about how they took their damn kidneys ;D.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thorin on October 17, 2014, 04:19:29 AM
Had yesterday evening my first real go at it. Seen enough youtubes to know stuff but without any practical knowledge, auwtch for my first colony.
Chose Phoebe, 1 setting lower then challange (60%setting). Since I'm a newbie, so took it a bit "easier" (so I thought).

Started with 3 peeps, got reduced, by error in judgement, to 1 survivor. Had some prisoners whom finally survived my mismanagement. Got back up to 3. Captured an other one. Nice!, I finally have 4 now. I feel comfortable now, I can do more stuff.

Oh deer, the mechs have dropped a pod. I send someone out, to poke it with a bullet from afar. Scyther comes out to take a look, one shot kill. Back to 3, darn.

Surprise!, have some more. A group of raiders this time. Managed to fight them off with my remaining turrets and people. But not without consequences: 1 more dead, 1 unconscious and 1 still standing (the medic), but I can have another prisoner too. Hauled both of them back, when....

Humming intensifies, local herd of deer went mad.
They went straight for the colony, the turrets kill half of them. The rest, they found my medic until he was unconscious too, in my house.

This colony is doomed, doomed I say.
Total play time, a mere 4 hours.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sion on October 17, 2014, 05:27:03 PM
This happened less than 5 minutes ago, a lightning thunderstorm had just started and suddenly a lightning strike hits my research table and a adjacent power cable witch setts them on fire, and all my colonists rushes to put out the fire.
Just as they have finished fighting the fire and turned their backs at the research table THE FREAKING LIGHTNING HITS THE SAME EXACT TILE AGAIN!!!
How awesome isn't that?
It has now been proven beyond all doubt that in RimWorld the lightning CAN strike the same spot twice!

This is the 3'rd time it happens:
(http://puu.sh/cgg0R/6ca918ea4f.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on October 17, 2014, 05:30:10 PM
This happened less than 5 minutes ago, a lightning thunderstorm had just started and suddenly a lightning strike hits my research table and a adjacent power cable witch setts them on fire, and all my colonists rushes to put out the fire.
Just as they have finished fighting the fire and turned their backs at the research table THE FREAKING LIGHTNING HITS THE SAME EXACT TILE AGAIN!!!
How awesome isn't that?
It has now been proven beyond all doubt that in RimWorld the lightning CAN strike the same spot twice!

This is the 3'rd time it happens:

Hmm I remember there was a thread about the lightning striking fixed positions on a map
guess it must be true =P

p.s. love the orchard
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sion on October 17, 2014, 05:37:18 PM
(of topic)
Thanks, it cant be much more efficient than that, and it is relatively easy to setup, just make a huge growing zone, set it to grow trees, then use the "remove zone" tool to make horizontal and vertical lines to generate the grid pattern.
Then fill in the rest with another kind of growing zone, make sure it doesn't connect with the tree-growing-zone or you will have to do it again.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EBrown on October 17, 2014, 07:32:52 PM
Well, so far the funniest thing I have seen is the name of this world:

Zuben-el-genubiZubeneschamali

Thanks,
EBrown
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MacG on October 18, 2014, 11:01:53 PM
My first alpha 7 colony, I decided to punish my 2 prisoners that refused to join the colony (99% recruitment difficulty). I cut off both their legs, replaced them with peggs, took one lung and kidney from each of them, then freed them from their prison :o. I couldn't help but laugh, thinking about what a local tribe or pirate gang would think of my colony if they saw two people with stilts as legs, hobbling away from my colony, cursing about how they took their damn kidneys ;D.

Don't forget to give them dentures and then remove them.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MajorMonotone on October 19, 2014, 07:28:34 AM
I was being attacked once by a group of 15 pirates and after a long and bloody battle I finally killed all but one.
The sod ran off into the forest only to be struck by lightning 30 seconds later.
Har-Har! Karma you son of a gun!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on October 20, 2014, 01:10:39 AM
New colony, colonists just landed, looking around on the map for a good site.
I see this nearby: http://i.imgur.com/5SK0E4i.png

Whoever built those ancient ruins into that mountain were sure good at preserving food.


Unrelated, but funny, story, from an Alpha 6 colony:
(I don't remember all the details, this might not be completely accurate.)

Two groups visited my colony at the same time. Two women from an outlander town, with pistols, and four people from a friendly tribe, with normal tribal weapons (shortbow, handful of stones, pila; this is before melee weapons). Naturally, the two were enemies of each other. In fact, all the factions were enemies of all the other factions, but that's not important.

Eventually, of course, they start fighting (right inside the colony's entrance). I laugh at them, draft nearby colonists to keep out of the way, and watch. The two from the town take cover behind cave walls. Three of the tribals must not have had good cover, they were soon dead, but the guy with a pila had stayed behind a stone wall at the entrance. Two pistols obviously have an advantage over one pila, given enough time, but the remaining three are in a stalemate for quite a while, all three of them are shooting/throwing around corners and have a low chance to hit their enemy because of the good cover.

Suddenly... a sound effect, and at the top of the screen, "Visitors from Some Outlander Town are leaving."

The two of them leave their cover, to leave, I assume. One of them immediately gets hit by a pila and her arm gets chopped off.

I don't remember the rest, except for this:
I don't think they actually left after that, I think they changed their minds and kept fighting.
The one missing an arm died from insta-blood-loss when her other arm was destroyed.
There was only one survivor from the battle. I don't remember for sure if it was "Pila Guy" or "Still-Has-Her-Arms." The first would make for a better story, but I think it was the second.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on October 22, 2014, 01:15:38 PM
Pirate attack. They decide to wait for a while.
Otto, top class assassin of 67 years old, is out hunting squirrels.
They drop "a gunshot" away from him. I immediately draft him and put him in cover (small rocky formation). He engages a enemy sniper.
One shot, enemy hit. No effect? I pause and check the health tab: left arm shot off.
Second shot, the enemy drops his M24. On the tab was: right arm shot off.
That pirate sure had a pair, because he charghed Otto (to headbutt him, I presume), but the third shoot got his head off.
I guess Otto is a bit sadic.  :o
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: NoImageAvailable on October 22, 2014, 02:18:44 PM
Just finished a game, built a ship and was just about to load everyone in when suddenly Mechanoids decided to attack. Not really in the mood to deal with them I just went ahead and escaped the planet although I was curious what the Mechanoids would do now that all the colonists are gone so kept watching.

They spent about a month punching down stone walls until eventually roofs started collapsing, more often than not right onto a Mechanoid. This went on until a force of 8 Scythers and 4 Centipedes was reduced to 3 Scythers and one Centipede as the rest died to their own stupidity when two visitors arrived and promptly went for the ruins of my former colony. One got oneshot by a Scyther the moment she walked in, the other took cover behind one of the surviving walls and engaged the remaining Scythers with her pistol. Two of the mechs positioned themselves a good bit away from her while the third went in closer and after a prolonged shoot-out was destroyed by friendly fire. After about half a day of both sides failing to hit each other the Centipede managed to finally close the range and take the visitor out with one shot from its Inferno Cannon.

They then went back to punching walls for a bit until about a dozen pirates decided to raid the smoldering ruins and while half of them died in a firefight during which an AI ship literally crashed right into the middle of it they managed to kill the remaining Scythers and cripple the Centipede. The pirates then went on to punch the walls a bit themselves only to give up and leave after a short while. I haven't watched beyond that point but I am a bit intrigued to load up the save again just to see what will happen once the ship AI kicks into gear and all the visitors and raiders immediately get mauled by psychotic animals and/or go insane from the psychic drone.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperkiller on October 22, 2014, 04:34:37 PM
1st time playing, i researched motors, so i made one... on the front line but behind a few improvised turrets.... as i seen the range was small on the motor, thinking it was the shooting line and to the motor. now i know that the range is that and farther. but i had all my guys next to the motor waiting for this wave of 3 guys to come (i had about 5) and one of the hostile guys had grenades.. he walked up threw one and it landed on the sentry turret.(also note that i didnt know sentrys had an explosive range when destroyed, and i had everything real close to each other) and everything went BOOM. I was then like "wtf just happened?!?" yeah shortest game i had there. (after that I got really good at the game)

Also after trying again I had a line around my base with improved turrets and 1 guy manage to destroy one and they all blew up . it was every other spaced was a turret. maybe about 50 turrets i think. lol
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on October 23, 2014, 04:44:26 AM
New colony, colonists just landed, looking around on the map for a good site.
I see this nearby: http://i.imgur.com/5SK0E4i.png

Whoever built those ancient ruins into that mountain were sure good at preserving food.
70 days later, an incendiary mortar shell hit the ruin and caught one of the meals on fire, which ended up burning four of them. The two on the bottom left are still there.

Edit2: Day 128, an explosive mortar shell hits the last two, the ruin food is gone. :(


Neurotrainers. Very rare, very unlikely you'll actually get offered a useful one. I can only imagine how nice one or two medical neurotrainers would be. Or three. Or ten... Early in the colony, some random trader (not even an exotic goods one) had one of these rare devices! No other trader would ever sell me one of these, they said! Less than 2000 silver, they said! What exactly was it they were selling?

An artistic neurotrainer.

I didn't buy it.


Edit: Day 98. An exotic goods trader shows up! Let's see what nice exotic things they have for sale.

(http://i.imgur.com/OMBOJsd.png)

>:(

If I see a third one I'm buying it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on October 25, 2014, 02:14:21 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/6HpuCHn.png)

The results (http://imgur.com/a/24Xdv)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on October 25, 2014, 07:11:01 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/6HpuCHn.png)

The results (http://imgur.com/a/24Xdv)

wait. what?
Mechanoid Infighting?!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chaouki on October 27, 2014, 03:43:29 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/6HpuCHn.png)

The results (http://imgur.com/a/24Xdv)

I wish I'll ever see a cool message like that :) Such events make this game even better than it already is and give it a very unique note.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Deux on October 29, 2014, 01:23:20 AM
Funniest I have seen, raiders attack my base, friendly natives show up and help me fight. I manage to capture 5 raiders and I lock them up in prison, only to have the dam friendlies go into the jail cell and shoot all my prisoners.....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on October 29, 2014, 10:02:06 AM
So today I ordered a colonist to get his eye removed and replaced by a byonic eye. Unfortunatley, there was a rock debris right on the interaction spot of the medical bed, so my doctor decides to try out a new way of anesthetizeing and dropped the stone right on top of the patients head...

(http://i62.tinypic.com/33jk1li.png)

You are welcome to fill the speech bubble in the picture. I imagine her saying something like: "Classic."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thorin on October 29, 2014, 10:08:59 AM
or this maybe:
"works every time"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mrspoon on October 31, 2014, 07:53:39 PM
Just after a battle I noticed one of my original 3 colonists would not eat no matter what i tried to do....starvation warning.    I finally noticed his jaw had been shot off !
Damn you for realism dev(s) ..... and its awesome that the game has this little bits that really make sense when you finally notice why someone would not eat.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on November 01, 2014, 08:13:53 AM
Just after a battle I noticed one of my original 3 colonists would not eat no matter what i tried to do....starvation warning.    I finally noticed his jaw had been shot off !
Damn you for realism dev(s) ..... and its awesome that the game has this little bits that really make sense when you finally notice why someone would not eat.
The game does really not warn you about that at all! I lost one colonist to that!
kinda wish you'd get some warning about it 'before' they are about to keel over from starvation
my second colonist I managed to save from that fate, when I knew what was causing it =P it was some hectic
you - get a new jaw, naow! YOU operate this colonist, and you! force feed the poor thing
he survived =P but oh my
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Snownova on November 01, 2014, 05:29:35 PM
Just after a battle I noticed one of my original 3 colonists would not eat no matter what i tried to do....starvation warning.    I finally noticed his jaw had been shot off !
Damn you for realism dev(s) ..... and its awesome that the game has this little bits that really make sense when you finally notice why someone would not eat.

For realism someone with no jaw should only be able to eat nutrient paste. That way keeping one of those around would serve a purpose.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on November 01, 2014, 09:01:29 PM
Phew! I just survived hell for my little and early colony: I'm playing with TechTreeMinami and have only 3 colonists (the starting ones).
So let's start: I get a message that a mega beast appeared, luckily on the other side of the map so that is no problem. After 30 min I get a message that some ppl will land in droppods because "something terrible" was on their ship, I don't thinky anything about it and capture all 3 of them. 1 min later one of the prisoner turns into a Abomination! So I try to kite and kill it on range, but I don't have much space to maneuver, so I send my 3 ppl outside and guess what: THE FRIGGIN MEGABEAST STANDS RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BASE! So I'm sandwiched between the Abomination in my base and the Megabeast outside...

I don't really remember how I survived them both, but I did survive and have now 5 colonists (3 original ones and the 2 prisoners now too), the only permanent damage is a missing foot for one colonist and a missing hand for another one.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ccheuer on November 04, 2014, 01:12:01 PM
There was once a man named Dimitri. He started out at the colony like a fresh born babe, not a mark on him. Noticing that he was 15 in shooting, I designated him my main combat dude. Dimitri was strong, he would often take on waves of 15+ with naught but a pair of turrets to aid him. Things escalated quickly however, as the danger of his role often led him to the hospital section of my base.

The wounds he acquired were extensive. A squirrel bite off his left ear, a tribal savage sliced off his right. His left thumb was shot off, his right hand cut off. He lost his left big toe, and had one eye burned to oblivion by a mechanoid. He had an array of scars down his chest, and a bad back from carrying the burden of the colony's protection. His neck was nearly severed, and all could be seen now was a mass of scar across it. But still, he fought on. Over time I gave him improvements. It wasn't long before he had full bionics, even having his sight in one eye restored.
The colonists loved him, he was their protector, their guardian, their savior.

Then one day, the burden became to great, and Dimitri killed us all...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on November 05, 2014, 03:27:20 PM
Honestly I had forgotten diseases even were part of the game, I hadn't experienced the diseases since at the very beginning

and now all the sudden just boom sudden malaria outbreak
that was bit over 20 colonists who got it
I really thought the game broke or something I've never seen so many messages pop up on screen at the same time

(http://i.imgur.com/5MOX4cL.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on November 05, 2014, 03:45:57 PM
Maybe it's from all the Cabbages Shinzy!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MarshyJay on November 06, 2014, 07:48:57 AM
The moment when you get attacked by 3 centipede then as they were coming to my colony a physic wave affected what seemed like every boomrat on the planet, well lets say they weren't pretty...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperkiller on November 06, 2014, 12:23:51 PM
Just had a moment where i just got done fortifying my colony, with sandbags and turrets on all the open sides, (was in a corner so only had 1 legit way getting in) and then a mercanary team drop poded into the middle of my exposed base right on my planetary beacon (forgot they did that sometimes). it did not end well for me as all my turrets were no where near them :/
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on November 07, 2014, 11:56:41 AM
Just had a moment where i just got done fortifying my colony, with sandbags and turrets on all the open sides, (was in a corner so only had 1 legit way getting in) and then a mercanary team drop poded into the middle of my exposed base right on my planetary beacon (forgot they did that sometimes). it did not end well for me as all my turrets were no where near them :/
That's the reason I put a stockpile with the beacon OUTSIDE colony walls.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on November 07, 2014, 12:37:19 PM
Just had a moment where i just got done fortifying my colony, with sandbags and turrets on all the open sides, (was in a corner so only had 1 legit way getting in) and then a mercanary team drop poded into the middle of my exposed base right on my planetary beacon (forgot they did that sometimes). it did not end well for me as all my turrets were no where near them :/
That's the reason I put a stockpile with the beacon OUTSIDE colony walls.
That's the reason why I turn my stockpile with the beacon into a deathzone surrounded by turrets
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Jarwy on November 12, 2014, 01:45:17 AM
I carefully, and expensively, build up a stash of emergency rations in case of dire need ... then my "visitors" decide to help themselves to the lot of it.

If you put your ear up close to the image, you can just about hear me scream "NOOOOOOoOoOOoooooooo!!!!"

That is... I just spent the last minute crying & laughing. What an amazing congoline of hungry strangers. ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ToXeye on November 15, 2014, 07:13:22 AM
My story on the stories board where I am left with only one person incapable of fighting hand to hand or with any weapon. Also the difference between the one dressed in leather tribal wear and the one dressed in hyperweave clothes. One got disintegrated by an exploding turret, and it was the one with the tribalwear.

Of course, it does not count as a story, but it is a gameplay example.

*edit* oh yes, the funniest thing I saw in rimworld was when I was going to tear down the walls for an old enclosed ruin with roof on it. The one doing the work got crushed by a collapsing roof.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sion on November 15, 2014, 03:40:27 PM
I once made the mistake of having more than one single colonist as a hunter...
(http://puu.sh/cS6dS/5b7d3a8583.jpg)
Miner: "It was an accident, I swear!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Moe on November 16, 2014, 07:39:48 AM
Hi,

I have seen 14 deers in a forest and there was one dead deer about 5 m away from them. I thought "Ah maybe my Hunter shoot it while killing others" and then i clicked on the deer.. the death issue was it was attacked by horns and deer feet and his spinal was broken. So well in this short CSI Rimworld episode .. the other Deers killed it.

I dont know if thats also part of the game "deer mobbing" but I slaughtered them all and my colonists still feast on them  ::)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Goo Poni on November 16, 2014, 08:25:48 AM
Just had a moment where i just got done fortifying my colony, with sandbags and turrets on all the open sides, (was in a corner so only had 1 legit way getting in) and then a mercanary team drop poded into the middle of my exposed base right on my planetary beacon (forgot they did that sometimes). it did not end well for me as all my turrets were no where near them :/
That's the reason I put a stockpile with the beacon OUTSIDE colony walls.

My stockpile is close to the main door of my colony's mountain base and I had a mechanoid attack drop in right on top of my colony. Having never seen mechanoids yet in this alpha, but with the knowledge of how silly (http://puu.sh/bewlm/56ed7e2b57.jpg) they got (http://puu.sh/bewGb/78a8464bf0.jpg) in the last alpha, I thought that was it. GG. Shrekt. And then all of two Centipedes (http://puu.sh/cNHDb/316e6354d2.jpg) dropped in and they got their face shot off which apparently instakilled them when they're such sponges in every other part of their body. Then the very next thing to happen was a ship part crashing (http://puu.sh/cO5ch/4956e8aa09.jpg) and only a couple Scythers came from it. I almost want the old mechanoid numbers. Almost.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Halinder on November 17, 2014, 02:16:06 AM
Deciding I'd built my colony up enough without dev mode and went on a spree of messing about, with Mai units in nano gear against Tuskbears and starving slaves in a room together so they would slowly go insane and beat each other to death.

Well see, that got boring, too. I proceeded to lower the blast doors on my colony and call in 5 raids from the pirate group I'd been fighting all game long. Wanting revenge, I proceeded to spam the 'animalinsanity' incident at least 20 times, sending every animal on the map on a frenzy scrambling over one another to claw, ram, impale, and otherwise bring pain and misery to the human race. With no way to get into my colony they took to flailing at the raiders, resulting in multiple hilarious standoffs as the animal kingdom worked in tandem to horrendously maim everything that ever existed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: juanger on November 27, 2014, 06:32:17 AM
After just barely surviving a 20+ raider attack, and having only 3 survivors, of which 2 were incapacitated, and the other one tending them, a psycic wave caused all the squirrels to go mad, and the last thing the poor survivor saw before being eaten was wave upon wave of mad squirrels attacking the med building trying to get in.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on December 04, 2014, 01:10:34 PM
A group of 4 vising allies encountered 4 resident centipedes. the centipedes obviously unloaded hell upon the visitors, killing off 3 of them quite quickly, but at the cost of 1 centipedes. That left the soul survivor against 3 centipedes...
She suffered a mental break, flew into a rage and rushed the closest centipedes engaging it in close combat and killed it almost instantly! She then runs to the next and kills it too all the while the last one is firing away, missing horribly with its hell cannon. She rushes at it and before I knew what was happening she was coming for me!
Fortunately, I had 8 people with miniguns and 29 turrets which proved to be a little bit too much for her
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Matthiasagreen on December 04, 2014, 02:43:10 PM
A group of 4 vising allies encountered 4 resident centipedes. the centipedes obviously unloaded hell upon the visitors, killing off 3 of them quite quickly, but at the cost of 1 centipedes. That left the soul survivor against 3 centipedes...
She suffered a mental break, flew into a rage and rushed the closest centipedes engaging it in close combat and killed it almost instantly! She then runs to the next and kills it too all the while the last one is firing away, missing horribly with its hell cannon. She rushes at it and before I knew what was happening she was coming for me!
Fortunately, I had 8 people with miniguns and 29 turrets which proved to be a little bit too much for her

Queue 300 the movie meme: Madness? THIS IS RIMWORLD!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Moods on December 05, 2014, 01:43:12 AM
i was working on my base and a group of traders shows up, and u know where did they put their tent?

(http://i.imgur.com/Oh0GpJC.jpg?1)

thats right, right infront of my door, they blocked my base so i had to dig the other way around >.< (to the right)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on December 05, 2014, 04:27:55 AM
i was working on my base and a group of traders shows up, and u know where did they put their tent?

http://i.imgur.com/Oh0GpJC.jpg?1

thats right, right infront of my door, they blocked my base so i had to dig the other way around >.< (to the right)

Door to door salesmens' Foot-in-the-door technique done right =P *applause*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on December 05, 2014, 07:26:03 AM
i was working on my base and a group of traders shows up, and u know where did they put their tent?

(http://i.imgur.com/Oh0GpJC.jpg?1)

thats right, right infront of my door, they blocked my base so i had to dig the other way around >.< (to the right)
This is one of the reasons I suggested Haplo a trading area.
Only buildable outside, so no trapping can happen, and so no rival faction will start shooting each other in the face. Also they won't block you something vital.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Haplo on December 05, 2014, 12:36:41 PM
I don't understand. I, personally, like it as it is *g*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on December 05, 2014, 06:47:17 PM
Yay for allies!
five friendly chaps showed up in my base. They decided it was a good idea to stand in that open topped room at the front of my base. You know the one. Three out of Four walls covered in turrets, the forth wall having a lot gaps in it all of which are plugged with sandbags and the floor perpetually stained red despite your best efforts to keep it clean.
It was about then that a load of raiders began squeezing through the choke point leading in.
I have to say I laughed my ass off as all five were obliterated when 28 turrets and 8 miniguns all opened up on the intruders at the same time, killing all 5 friendlies and ending my alliance before the raiders fired a single shot.

The best way to avoid ticking off your allies is to not have any ^.^
You'll be better off for it too.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on December 06, 2014, 07:47:44 AM
The best way to avoid ticking off your allies is to not have any ^.^
You'll be better off for it too.

I feel you!
(http://i.imgur.com/tHQnxew.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Moods on December 09, 2014, 01:51:21 PM
Why i never get rid of the tuskbear...
(http://i.gyazo.com/2d3d8a3101739cf5d2ddafeb98d91483.png)

so a group of pirates wanted to raid me, lucky me i only kill the tuskbear when it goes into rampage or when its close to the colony. the picture should explain why
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on December 11, 2014, 08:32:45 PM
Wow... Weaponized uranium in RimWorld

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on December 11, 2014, 09:11:48 PM
Just make sure you're not fighting anyone wearing a Uranium helmet, you might make a critical mass or something.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on December 12, 2014, 12:41:11 PM
Just make sure you're not fighting anyone wearing a Uranium helmet, you might make a critical mass or something.
It'll be something like the 0:50 in the homm IV intro =P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Sy7qkkTy8
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on December 13, 2014, 12:06:52 AM
Just make sure you're not fighting anyone wearing a Uranium helmet, you might make a critical mass or something.
It'll be something like the 0:50 in the homm IV intro =P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B2Sy7qkkTy8

^ Pretty much.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MacG on December 14, 2014, 06:34:48 PM
Started my first alpha8 base (loving the temp changes) and the first raider who shows up is named "Stanky". Pop him a couple of times, one is a headshot, capture the guy and check out his wounds. I had blasted his nose off. Now he has no idea just how Stanky he is.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on December 15, 2014, 12:26:44 AM
So there's a pirate near my colony right now, named Scipio Little.

Child backstory: Caveworld tunneler. -2 shooting, among other things.
"Years underground have damaged his vision, so he can't shoot very well."

Adult backstory: Pit brawler. +8 melee and some disabled things.

Traits: Brawler. -6 shooting, +6 melee, melee hit chance x150%.
"His accuracy is greatly increased in melee combat, but he'll be very unhappy if asked to carry a ranged weapon."

He has 17 melee and 0 shooting. He would have -5 shooting if negative skills were possible.
He's also 69 years old and has cataracts.
His shooting accuracy stat is 57.16%.

What's his job for the pirates? Carrying a melee weapon, maybe? No, he's a sniper carrying an M-24.
He's part of a siege group, and he's the only sniper in it. So, if I wanted to try and shoot at them, he would be the only one shooting back.

No wonder they shot off each mortar once and then immediately decided to assault the colony, before I even tried to shoot at them. (I don't actually know why they did that, but it might have to do with the crashed ship part that's almost dead but I left alive in the hope Scipio might go insane and start punching the pirates.)

"I hate shooting from a distance. I want to get up close and personal!"
Considering you probably can't see anything that isn't up close, I'm not surprised.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on December 15, 2014, 07:10:26 PM
Now, from a different pirate group, a pirate ended up running toward me and attacking by himself (the others were preparing to attack). Carrying a Limestone shiv (awful). He hit once, got hit once, and fled in panic. Probably smart.

Because a limestone shiv (awful) does 2 damage a hit.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Leemster on December 15, 2014, 10:21:43 PM
There was once some siegers that had set up base in a cliff side and only one of them had a sniper,  so my best sniper went to have a battle with this sieger, after a minute or two the sieger with the sniper had both arms shot off and was still trying to shoot my colonist.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tynan on December 15, 2014, 10:24:47 PM
Now, from a different pirate group, a pirate ended up running toward me and attacking by himself (the others were preparing to attack). Carrying a Limestone shiv (awful). He hit once, got hit once, and fled in panic. Probably smart.

Because a limestone shiv (awful) does 2 damage a hit.

Lol. He just brought it for show. If the code worked right, he'd walk up to you with the shiv and then just punch you because his fist is better (though I think the selection has a bug where it ignores weapon modifers from quality etc atm).
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: amul on December 17, 2014, 11:20:18 AM
My name made it into the game in time for Alpha 8!

The first town I started up had a cryopod-thingie right about next to center, and cozy up next a thermal vent. I had my guys put a door on the tomb and built some beds in there, they spent the first few night sleeping inside the gorram crypt :) They wake up one morning, and I decide (having not read anything on the forums about the changes) to have them open up the cryopod, figuring I could use the extra colonist that I assumed would be terribly grateful for waking him up.

Wrong!

The pod pops open, I pause real quick to check out my new friend, and see that he's got high Mining and Shooting. "Awesome!" I say to my screen. "I don't have any combat capability!"

As he is killing my last guy, the "name this town" event pops up. I named it "Miner's Revenge." Watched him kill my guy, and then started a second town.

This one has a giant tomb with EIGHT cryopods in it, due east of my camp. NO WAY I'm touching that one!

Come late July, I get sieged by some baddies. As I head towards them, I notice another tomb with only 3 pods in it. Don't know how I missed it before. After dealing with the raid, I'm feeling a wee bit full of myself, so I say, "I'll just open ONE of the pods at a time, it'll be fine."

I go down to the smaller tomb -- see, I'm being all cautious 'n' stuff! I figure with my 3 gun men (Gimpy, Depressed Anna, and a Pessimist with a Green Thumb named Reed) carefully positioned, and Butcher, my 12-Melee chef to open the lid, I'll be fine even if it triggers all of the pods.

I pop open the lid and sure enough, like the idiot who doesn't read the wiki, I am completely shocked by what comes out of the 3 cryopods....

Amul, Empath. Dead.

Amul, Soldier. In shock.

Paul, Soldier. Alive.

And they're covered in berserking megascarabs. Much, I imagine, as Reed must have been telling everyone they surely would be.

Not only do TWO of them have my name-in-the-game, but the one that's still alive but in shock? He's a gorram clone from an organ farm, according to his backstory.

Butcher starts to stab at Paul, but Paul (rather wisely, I thought) makes a mad dash for the exit. Butcher gets eaten alive by the creepy-crawlies. It must have been like something straight out of The Mummy. The other half of the swarm is between Paul and the exits --where my guys are.

I have a moment of sanity then, and order my gun-squad to run back to base. Only Gimpy is named so because of his gorram prosthetic leg and doesn't run so well. I'm watching him lag behind the others, doubtless hurried on by the agony-ridden wails of Lt Paul who manages to get a brief glimpse of the planet he landed on before being swarmed by the buggers.

I'm watching the critters catch up to Gimpy, his friends so far ahead of him that I can't even see them on the zoom-level I'm at. Gimpy re-calcs his path. I glance at the north side of the screen and see that Gimpy's trying to navigate around a herd of Muffalo.

Gimpy is deep in the herd of them as the critters catch up. One of them decides to take a bite out of a Muffalo, possibly out of sheer "I am the living vengeance of a god from another world" orneriness. Muffalo goes berserk! Attacks all of the beetles! Gimpy is saved!

I send my team back to recover Me and all the loot. While my namesake is healing, I check his thoughts -- all the usual death and post-combat stuff, and down at the bottom is "Has a bionic bodypart -12."

I check his Character Tab again, and sure enough:
Quote
Childhood: Organ Farm
Adulthood: Colony Settler

Traits: Prosthophobe, Careful shooter.
Health: bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, bite, Bionic Leg: cracked.

It explains so much! It's like an entire backstory right there!

Plus, he'll fit right in to my squad of morose gun-nuts.

It's so awesome, I'm tempted to upgrade to the full backstory so I can add this to it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Beastro on December 18, 2014, 01:03:43 AM
Haven't played long but the burn scar on the left side of one of my colonists gave me pause as to how she was still keeping up as an active member of the group and not a drooling idiot.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: PapaDookie on December 18, 2014, 01:53:10 AM
huntingwith an incediary launcher. it's so much fun to watch a muffalo go ape when he catches on fire  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Element4ry on December 18, 2014, 01:39:49 PM
Four guys in my colony barely won a battle against pirate raid, all of them ended up in hospital being treated by old peg-legged almost blind doctor who have only one arm. Guy in first medical bed have leg shot off. Guy in second med-bed got last remaing arm shot off. Guy in third med-bed lost both eyes and two fingers. Guy in last bed have bunch of gunshot wounds, missing arm and is only one who have power armor. Also the power armor guy is superior in hand to hand combat (melee skill 18). Then he goes nuts and kills everyone in my colony single-handedly. I lol'd so hard.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DeltaV on December 19, 2014, 01:57:09 PM
Kind of cruelly funny, but one time on random random, all within a day:

• A heat wave began
• My crops died
• A solar flare occurred (Meant air conditioners didn't work)
• Raiders beamed down directly onto my camp
• Mechanoids showed up

This was, like, day twenty.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Arigas on December 20, 2014, 07:40:49 AM
Kind of cruelly funny, but one time on random random, all within a day:

� A heat wave began
� My crops died
� A solar flare occurred (Meant air conditioners didn't work)
� Raiders beamed down directly onto my camp
� Mechanoids showed up

This was, like, day twenty.
I hate Randy for that reason...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Halinder on December 21, 2014, 04:48:58 AM
The fact that my colony called Unfortunation has been the most successful of all 27 of my colonies.

The constant juggle between a planter planting trees and a builder building power conduits.

(Guns+ mod only) An entire raid's worth of people being on three cells when my colonist fires a grenade launcher.

Animal insanity of squirrels. Click a squirrel outside my base, double-click to see the rest of the squirrels in that area -- 26 in my base.

Those poor hypothermic tortoises.

And finally the beauty of releasing a prisoner into the wilderness in hopes of peace with a pesky enemy faction, when the visiting faction starts firing shots after him. This did not kill him. What killed him was the MASSIVE raid that popped up /literally about ten cells from his escape/. The people at the front beat him to death without question, but hey, at least they got shot in the back doing it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Everteal on December 22, 2014, 10:33:07 AM
1)My roommate (who also plays Rimworld) comes in my room for a smoke after which I immediately get  notice of a pirate siege - "Great....". Usually I send my careful shooters to pick em off 1 by 1 from afar but I ask him if he has tested the new launchers, he says "no". It just so happens that i have a bunch of Doomsday launchers that I've never tried myself. I grab 2(because why not?) of em and go meet the besiegers. My guys launch 2 missiles at the same time while standing shoulder to shoulder and dogging incoming sniper shots when BOOM.


And this pops up :D Needless to say - my roommate chocked on smoke which made it even better.

(https://imagizer.imageshack.us/v2/1186x667q90/538/beiZky.png)

2) Spending 5'000-10'000 silver on friendly reinforcements when confronted with 3 dozen Centipedes and Scythers.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kasimirtlw on December 23, 2014, 04:38:37 AM
I was under siege in the last game by 5 raiders. they where better armed then me. so i ran away from them thru my base
I had up set some trap rooms for the visitors int he past an had a lost gun in a closed room 2x3. i completely had forgotten about it as it was now part of the center colony. the raiders where beating down on the doors and and kept following my guys. then they found the forgotten gun.
they all assaulted it and behold  it exploded killing them all 5 in one blow. this really made me grin  ear to ear
since then I have 4 of those rooms in my colony with limestone wall and  wooden doors :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Oga88 on December 23, 2014, 07:14:16 AM
I have two exampels :) :) :)

- its late game almost finished my ship to fly away. AND fire starts battery explodes. so all my guys start to take the fire out. Stone walls 10 batteries are burning and people start dying I didn't get it why it was all fine they needed to just take the fire out. BUT then i see the temperature inside 400+ C. All of them died. And of a wonderful colony

- Came traders and a tribe visited me they start a shootout  :) traders won, but then came a pirate band  :) and traders won again not without the help of my colonist.

I like this moments because it never happend to me before. Cool :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OmG_PotatoeZ on December 23, 2014, 11:13:29 PM
Group of raiders tried to siege my colony. They attempt to waltz into the front door but alas, 2 of my colonists with Shotguns and one with a minigun stand in their way. Incapacitating my minigunner, my shotgunners charge in loading the pirates with buckshot. Suddenly, boomrat goes mad, I retreat my colonists back into my battery room, locking my medical bay, All the pirates are in the battery room, boomrat sprints at them, they all turn towards it, killing it right beside my batteries, causing a chain reaction of about 20 batteries, blowing a hole into the back of my colony. Needless to say, I will never allow a boomrat to live again.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on December 24, 2014, 10:01:35 AM
But the boomrats did kill the raiders, yes?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OmG_PotatoeZ on December 24, 2014, 08:07:14 PM
But the boomrats did kill the raiders, yes?
Killed my best shooters but I guess.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Everteal on December 25, 2014, 07:28:29 PM
The happiness system.

-Observed enemy killed: 'Lol'
-Saw ally killed: 'Meh'
-Walking over a rotten battlefield: 'Dude, did you hear there's a psychotic squirrel around?'
-Prisoner organ harvested to save an ally or sold one to buy that food we need: 'We just murdered like 150 of them, who cares, but I'll remember this for DAYS!'
-Battle: 'Daaaamn there's so much blood and corpses, glad we put that golden statue behind us, this place looks FANTASTIC!'
-Prisoners after 1-2 days: 'Ha, look at those guys going mental trying to heal and feed us. I'm in heaven!'
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Halinder on December 25, 2014, 10:44:22 PM
Building your entire base revolving around a dev-mode built ship with all appliances needed save for food stocks, trying to scramble to feed them all, only to have a great deal of them starve to death while planting berries.

And then deciding 'meh' and launching the empty ship, leaving nothing behind but the gun batteries and /every single room that had the appliances needed for your people to live./
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Scotty on December 26, 2014, 07:13:54 PM
Had a colonist called Badluck i captured from raid. He was part of a party sent to assault a mortor camp near my base. He was the only one of the group killed by the mortor....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TheWalrusNet on December 26, 2014, 09:53:56 PM
In my current colony, none of my three starter colonists are dead. But, being three of my best fighters, they've been in every conflict and suffered a fair few war wounds. One of them, "Price" has been armed with a shotgun and assigned the role of flanking and attacking from the rear at close range to stop pirates from escaping. She's survived doing this to countless pirate groups, including heavily armed and skilled ones.
But one day, a group of four pirates decided to attack. One of them is the only person Price has ever failed to capture, "lucya." Lucya is an assassin with 15 shooting skill, in the last raid she shot Price with a sniper rifle, and she's ready for revenge. Fortunately, this pirate group wasn't terribly organized, and they'd given Lucya a melee weapon, which she had a skill of 2 at using. Accompanying her was a man with 0 shooting skill, armed with an L-15 LMG, wearing nothing but a military hat, and two other unremarkable pirates, both armed with sniper rifles, with 0 and 1 shooting skill.
"This raid will be pathetic." I thought to myself. And it was. When my colonists landed their first shot on target, both lucya and the naked LMG wielding psychopath decided to flee. Leaving the incompetent snipers to be mowed down in the ensuing small skirmish. Seeing as the battle went so well I didn't really check the health of my colonists, as people had only suffered from 1 gunshot wound at most.
The next day I get a notification, 'Starvation.' This is a rather odd message to get, as I had a completely full stockpile of food held indoors. I check around and it's Price, cutting plants for some reason. No matter what i do, i can't get her to eat. Confused, i check the health panel. As it turns out, the only hit Price had received in the tiny skirmish, had shot off her jaw, she was incapable of eating or speaking. Yet for some reason she was still happy about having recently had three social chats.
In the end I'm inevitably going to have to watch one of my initial colonists die or go crazy because she can't eat or ask for help. Hopefully she'll go unconscious and someone will feed her, but is that life really worth it?
Certainly the most hilarious and bizarre injury I've seen so far
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Everteal on December 27, 2014, 05:43:00 AM
@TheWalrusNet - You can install a denture jaw: click on your colonist -> Health -> Operations -> Add bill.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on December 27, 2014, 07:43:54 AM
And if you don't have one yet, you can stick her in a crypto pod until you do.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TheWalrusNet on December 27, 2014, 08:50:31 AM
@TheWalrusNet - You can install a denture jaw: click on your colonist -> Health -> Operations -> Add bill.
I had no idea! I'd only ever seen the standard organs and bionic limbs, never thought to check if there was such a thing. I'll have to make a cryptosleep pod asap then!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Everteal on December 28, 2014, 04:19:40 AM
@TheWalrusNet - You can install a denture jaw: click on your colonist -> Health -> Operations -> Add bill.
I had no idea! I'd only ever seen the standard organs and bionic limbs, never thought to check if there was such a thing. I'll have to make a cryptosleep pod asap then!

Wait what?.... You do NOT need the denture jaw part to do it, in fact there is none. Just add the bill.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TheWalrusNet on December 28, 2014, 09:06:38 AM
@TheWalrusNet - You can install a denture jaw: click on your colonist -> Health -> Operations -> Add bill.
I had no idea! I'd only ever seen the standard organs and bionic limbs, never thought to check if there was such a thing. I'll have to make a cryptosleep pod asap then!

Wait what?.... You do NOT need the denture jaw part to do it, in fact there is none. Just add the bill.

Even better! :D EDIT: Fixed quote
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DarknessEyes on December 28, 2014, 04:28:49 PM
A lamp in my shared room exploded and killed everyone...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UnionID on December 29, 2014, 12:55:07 PM
My people got caught outside harvesting when all the squirrels decided to go psychotic. There were a lot of squirrels.  I circled the wagons but couldn't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all as my colonist started dropping one by one from squirrel bites.

It was a near-run thing....It was pretty sweet.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Scotty on December 29, 2014, 05:05:52 PM
A colonist named squirrel with "fast walking" trait.
But missing their right leg after defending the base.

He ended up in bed for a few months until i got meds for his op
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Easton on December 30, 2014, 01:01:11 AM
A cybernetic centipede lands on the planet, but instead of landing somewhere safe and in the open, it lands inside of a cryptosleep room. Naturally, he decided to begin lighting all of the cryptosleep chambers on fire thus awakening its inhabitants who all instantly aggro. Four of the occupants flee, apparently wanting to raid my colony instead (and of course failing miserably in this endeavor). Three remain in the cryptosleep room to fight the centipede. The crypto warriors succeed in incapacitating the centipede, however, a cryptosleep chamber explodes just as the centipede is taken down, killing one fighter and setting another on fire and completely incinerating her.

Considering we should have faced a minigun-wielding cybernetic space centipede, we were quite pleased to only have to deal with a few raiders, and then reaping the benefits.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on December 30, 2014, 05:48:45 AM
A cybernetic centipede lands on the planet, but instead of landing somewhere safe and in the open, it lands inside of a cryptosleep room. Naturally, he decided to begin lighting all of the cryptosleep chambers on fire thus awakening its inhabitants who all instantly aggro. Four of the occupants flee, apparently wanting to raid my colony instead (and of course failing miserably in this endeavor). Three remain in the cryptosleep room to fight the centipede. The crypto warriors succeed in incapacitating the centipede, however, a cryptosleep chamber explodes just as the centipede is taken down, killing one fighter and setting another on fire and completely incinerating her.

Considering we should have faced a minigun-wielding cybernetic space centipede, we were quite pleased to only have to deal with a few raiders, and then reaping the benefits.
Cryptowarriors assemble! ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Hogzor on December 31, 2014, 12:42:42 AM
http://postimg.org/image/nxj39wnuj/ (http://postimg.org/image/nxj39wnuj/)

Van black lol.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ShootyFace on December 31, 2014, 12:26:25 PM
I had a group of raiders land and decide to besiege my base. They ran around a mountain and decided to set up in a roofed cyrptosleep casket building. I set a couple colonists to mortar them, and the first shell popped one of the caskets, and to my surprise they all opened. Huge firefight broke out and the raiders broke. Ended up picking off the stragglers manually, was hilarious and a lot of fun to watch.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: henkalv on January 02, 2015, 01:37:08 AM
I had a group of raiders land and decide to besiege my base. They ran around a mountain and decided to set up in a roofed cyrptosleep casket building. I set a couple colonists to mortar them, and the first shell popped one of the caskets, and to my surprise they all opened. Huge firefight broke out and the raiders broke. Ended up picking off the stragglers manually, was hilarious and a lot of fun to watch.

Did the same thing only manually. Some besigers put up camp in front of a building containing about 4 caskets, so I snuck one of my guys around the backside, opened one up and hightailed out of there. Luck would have it that the guys in the caskets were armed to the teeth so I ended up with a lot of sweet gear after the fight.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Morrigi on January 03, 2015, 03:26:03 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEJ6QymV7-o

The classic squirrel zerg rush and its tragic aftermath, complete with quality narration from none other than Dslyexi. I think this video captures RimWorld perfectly, in all its hilarious, yet tragic, glory.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on January 04, 2015, 09:40:17 PM
I've probably forgotten a few very good moments, but I got a few though ;)

My Ally's Enemy is my Ally?

So, I had this nicely established colony in a rainforest. It was wealthy and I had made allies with previous enemies.
I had pirate and tribal groups visiting all the time.
One day I get a message that friendly pirate visitors was arriving. Not long after that, I get another message that a group of tribe warriors was also visiting. I don't put more into it and move along with my work.
Suddenly I hear an explosion, and without any message popping up, I'm thinking "What the hell was that". Searching the map, I find a downed pirate, and another pirate who is being hunted down by a tribe warrior.
Checking his wounds, the two groups apparantly met around a corner, and out of panic one of the pirates threw a grenade, as they were enemies. Unfortunately for his pirate friend, who was brawling the tribe-warrior, he was a bad thrower, and instead blew up his partner. Then went "Aww sh*t, im out of here", and was then hunted of the map by the warrior, who was completely untouched :D

(http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag229/The-MathMog/screenshot12_zpsf538830a.png)

The Mercilessness Of Pirates

A new colony, a new set of challenges. Or lack of them.

A tribe arrives at the edge wanting to raid my colony. They decide to prepare first. It's all good, as my defenses were already prepared. A few ingame hours later, a pirate group emerges from the mountains, to set up a siege camp. At first they aren't even close to me, nor the tribals.
But the place that they decide to make the camp, is on the other side of the mountain, which puts them straight next to the tribe warriors who spot them, and begin to attack them instead.
The pirates seem outnumbered by the tribals and try their best to fight them off.
One of the pirates gets incapacitated right in front of another pirate. But instead of saving the injured, the other pirate instead chooses to cover up behind and use him as a sandbag, making the wounded take all the shots instead.
The wounded probably stole the other pirates sandwich or something the day before, to get this treatment from an ally! :D

(http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag229/The-MathMog/screenshot79_zps08014ea5.png)

The Poor Fate Of Rego The Naked

In the same colony as in the scenario before this, just alot later.

The colony had endured a lot of attacks from pirates, mechs and tribals, and have ramped the colonist number up to 12+.
So after another raid from a tribe, I decide to capture the injured survivors, so I can heal them, and then release them again for goodwill.
It all goes well, and I release 4 of them. Im waiting for the last tribal to recover so I can release him, as I don't want him in my colony.
As I am about to release him I notice his injury. He has recieved a shot to the brain, reducing his ability to walk to 30%, and he even got an infection in it. Allright, I don't want to waste time on him, so I release him.
He gets carried outside. Walks slower than an incapacitated snail. Get's 20 meters away and doesn't even get outside of the colony before he falls to the ground of starvation... A colonist then runs over and carries him inside again, and feeds him.
A couble hours later after recovering, he get's carried outside and starts over again, just to fall down again, at almost the exact same place...
So now I have the option of letting him starve to death or euthanize him :s

(http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag229/The-MathMog/screenshot97_zpsc228499d.png)

(http://i1369.photobucket.com/albums/ag229/The-MathMog/screenshot98_zpse46e4036.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A_Soft_Machine_Man on January 06, 2015, 08:46:52 AM
This one happened to me recently, and I deeply regret not getting screenshots.

For context, my world has three tribes, a pirate group, and outlander town, all hostile to one another. After three (in game) years I finally managed to get all three tribes and the outlander town friendly towards me, thus only having to deal with pirates and occasional mechanoid incursion. Nice and easy, or so I thought.

So my colony of eight was going along quite well, albeit in a bit of a rough patch as a massive pirate raid had destroyed the majority of my defenses, and had incapacitated all three of my best shooters with severe injuries. Because Cassandra Classic believes fully in Murphy's Law, I get an alert that a group of mechanoids has rolled on in and are going to assault my colony.

'This can't be too bad,' I naively think, 'surely 60% Cassandra Classic would only send maybe two centipedes and two or three scythers. I was wrong. Instead it was four centipedes, all armed with charge lances, and six scythers.

After putting on a fresh pair of pants, I had my talker get on the comms to scream "HALP NAO!" at all who were friendly to me. Thankfully, I had enough burnable goodwill to get all of them to agree.

At first, only the Outlanders showed up. Three guards armed with a Lee Enfield, M16, and uzi, respectively.

That went about as well as you'd expect.

Just as I had given up hope and was getting ready to start afresh, I get three alerts that friendly tribals had arrived to help. Forty-five scantily clad, ululating primitives descended upon the foul machines like a human flood, smashing down the scythers and centipedes with their clubs, pilas, and greatbows. This onslaught, aided by some M24 support from my remaining three colonists who were not rendered blind by cataracts, managed to kill all ten war machines with minimal casualties.

They then all proceeded to turn on one another, because the ally of an ally is not an ally too, apparently.

TL;DR: Ten mechs fight a bunch of naked primitives, hilarity ensues.

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Arenji on January 06, 2015, 10:52:42 AM
You can install a denture jaw: click on your colonist -> Health -> Operations -> Add bill.

I was so sad when this happened to one of my colonists. She just sat there at the table staring at a meal in front of her with the starvation alert blinking. And I had no medicine. If there hadn't been a supplier in range I'd never have been able to forgive myself. Damn this fine game for making me care about my pawns so much!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 06, 2015, 05:39:06 PM
How many bullets did you take?!

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: renzantar on January 06, 2015, 11:19:21 PM
I'm just minding my own business, when raiders decide to besiege my base. "That's fine," I say, "I have mortars too."
So I'm blasting away at them while they blast away at me, and i get a message that says some friendlies are here to save the day!

By this time, I had forgotten that my mortars were raining hell upon the enemy.

By some stroke of bad luck, one of my mortars manages to miss the enemies entirely and take out half of the friendly forces.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zilch on January 07, 2015, 01:20:51 AM
Had an ancient ship part crash onto my map.
Sent my best sniper in to activate it and kill the probable 15 centipedes that will pour out.

As the bullet is flying through the air from his trusty M-24, a Pirate raid starts. 50+ Drop pods land directly on and around the Ship part.
Pirates v Mechs fight of the decade.

Needless to say, my sniper got the hell out of that shit-storm real fast.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A_Soft_Machine_Man on January 08, 2015, 10:54:20 PM
How many bullets did you take?!

*NOSE* [Gunshot (Improvised Turret)]

Ouch.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: dnal on January 09, 2015, 06:03:06 AM
So... my pawns are eating from potatos and raw meat having berries right next to them on the floor, then they are getting the ate raw food mood which they wouldnt get from eating berries which i have 2000 units of... so funny!

Trying to find a way to mod this shit; trying to make potato and raw meat not eatable now... not finding the meat entries though

Ah, will just take out the eat raw food mood from Thoughts_Memories.xml, much easier to mod even though i like the mechanics they are not working for me right now. (eat the f* berries bitch!)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mihsan on January 09, 2015, 10:59:52 AM
Had an ancient ship part crash onto my map.
Sent my best sniper in to activate it and kill the probable 15 centipedes that will pour out.

As the bullet is flying through the air from his trusty M-24, a Pirate raid starts. 50+ Drop pods land directly on and around the Ship part.
Pirates v Mechs fight of the decade.

Needless to say, my sniper got the hell out of that shit-storm real fast.

I got almost the same thing, but with tribals. That really saved my colony.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Robesidian on January 09, 2015, 11:59:35 AM
Well, one of the funniest things I have seen would have to be when i was first starting to learn the game and wanted to see how cannibalism worked and effected people. So i arrested anyone that visited and chopped them up and feasted on the raw meat. This drove people into mental breaks quick and they would fight one another (mind i only had the three people), so whomever lost the fight was arrested and chopped up. So i killed off one and when the next mental break happened i was going to let them fight one on one but i was playing on randy random so a lone raider came with frag grenades while they where fighting threw one grenade and blew them both up and dipped out. GG
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Rhopunzel on January 09, 2015, 05:14:17 PM
I only found this funny in a really dark way, but I captured a raider who had nice stats and I wanted to convert them to join my colony. He was pretty shot up and was barely able to be saved, but I managed it. He turned out to be a total problem patient and kept developing infection after infection which I'd have to spend valuable medicine on. He slept through multiple raids yet I wasn't giving up on him. Eventually the infections were cured and I started trying to recruit him, but I was wondering why he wasn't getting up and walking around yet.

Eventually after a few more weeks I finally succeeded, but wondered why he was brought straight to the infirmary. I clicked on his health and saw: "Spine: shattered"

I wasn't even mad when I selected him to be euthanised. :(
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on January 10, 2015, 12:18:34 PM
Eventually after a few more weeks I finally succeeded, but wondered why he was brought straight to the infirmary. I clicked on his health and saw: "Spine: shattered"

I wasn't even mad when I selected him to be euthanised. :(
That's why I would love some way to "patch up" such injuries. I can imagine that they have developed some type of bionic/medicine to repair such things, like some kind of artificial spine part that replaces the damaged section (artificial spine or for medicine: Nanomachines, son).  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Rhopunzel on January 10, 2015, 01:19:23 PM
Eventually after a few more weeks I finally succeeded, but wondered why he was brought straight to the infirmary. I clicked on his health and saw: "Spine: shattered"

I wasn't even mad when I selected him to be euthanised. :(
That's why I would love some way to "patch up" such injuries. I can imagine that they have developed some type of bionic/medicine to repair such things, like some kind of artificial spine part that replaces the damaged section (artificial spine or for medicine: Nanomachines, son).  ;)

Maybe some kind of really high risk operation that could be mitigated by a high doctor level? :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on January 10, 2015, 02:29:12 PM
Eventually after a few more weeks I finally succeeded, but wondered why he was brought straight to the infirmary. I clicked on his health and saw: "Spine: shattered"

I wasn't even mad when I selected him to be euthanised. :(
That's why I would love some way to "patch up" such injuries. I can imagine that they have developed some type of bionic/medicine to repair such things, like some kind of artificial spine part that replaces the damaged section (artificial spine or for medicine: Nanomachines, son).  ;)

Maybe some kind of really high risk operation that could be mitigated by a high doctor level? :)

yess!
Critical failure spine surgery = doctor accidentally installs the new pneumatic spine upside down and forgets his favourite pair of stetoscopes inside the patient

needs to be in the game =P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: john pretzel on January 10, 2015, 09:02:09 PM
 ;D Rimtroopers vs Jaffas  ;D

(http://i58.tinypic.com/2gw6flt.png)

Both factions met up in my map and started a shoot out. As soon as wounded started popping, they became more busy hauling these guys to take as prisoners and leaving than actually fighting, SIDE BY SIDE kidnapping each others mates.  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on January 11, 2015, 10:07:28 AM
A group of what must be the most pragmatic pirates in the universe landed, wearing nothing besides their armor, and when I checked one of them I saw that he was wearing EIGHT HATS.

(http://i62.tinypic.com/2u6367k.png)


When I checked his stats it turned out to be a really smart move because he had a minimum temperature of -39° C.

(http://i58.tinypic.com/9tg2l5.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: john pretzel on January 11, 2015, 02:12:01 PM
I rotfl'd at that Dr. Z  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sorrow on January 11, 2015, 03:56:47 PM
Im very new to this game but...some guy was visiting my settlement and a pirate came in, knocked him out, then picked him up and carried him off.  I couldnt stop laughing.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on January 11, 2015, 05:58:57 PM
Rule #32: Enjoy the little things.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: GhotiFish on January 11, 2015, 10:37:57 PM
Sometimes my brain doesn't work right so I try to keep a checklist of stupid mistakes I make to ensure they don't happen again. Allow me to give you my newest one:

13. Make sure at least one of your colonists is able to fight fires.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on January 11, 2015, 10:50:26 PM
Sometimes my brain doesn't work right so I try to keep a checklist of stupid mistakes I make to ensure they don't happen again. Allow me to give you my newest one:

13. Make sure at least one of your colonists is able to fight fires.

"The potatoes are on fire!"
"Well, put it out, then!"
"No way, you do it!"
"No, you do it!"
"No, you do it!"
ad infinitum...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 11, 2015, 11:25:37 PM
Oops!  :)
It's probably too late, but you can deconstruct burning buildings. Doesn't fix everything, but it can really help sometimes.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: shenzya on January 12, 2015, 09:46:40 AM
Verry good siege.

(http://i.imgur.com/wgiT6o0.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on January 12, 2015, 09:58:32 AM
well that beats the mortar squad that set itself next to fallen ship part =P

"Let's build the mortars under a roof and also block errybody inside the old cryochamber!" - "Nah, see! Good idea boss!"

Mortar squads - best siege camp locations since alpha 5
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Diplomatti on January 12, 2015, 12:08:31 PM
Surviving a few sieges and achient ship crashes out for my colony to get wiped out by a phycic wave that made about 12 squrrials go mad and eventually everyone died of infection :(
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on January 13, 2015, 12:50:33 PM
I just got attacked by some raiders. They used molotovs on my turrets in my outer perimeter. One of them hit a boomrat and set it on fire!
The boomrat ran frantically, and ran into my base, crawling over the sandbags and stood right next to one of my colonists.
My first though was "Ohh nooo!".
Then the colonist proceeded to just extinguish the fire, saving the boomrat! :D

I got an animal whisperer in my colony!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chaouki on January 13, 2015, 01:16:01 PM
I just got attacked by some raiders. They used molotovs on my turrets in my outer perimeter. One of them hit a boomrat and set it on fire!
The boomrat ran frantically, and ran into my base, crawling over the sandbags and stood right next to one of my colonists.
My first though was "Ohh nooo!".
Then the colonist proceeded to just extinguish the fire, saving the boomrat! :D

I got an animal whisperer in my colony!

of all the comments in this thread (my favourite by far) this was actually the best one :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: john pretzel on January 13, 2015, 10:10:06 PM
I got an animal whisperer in my colony!

He got back to be in a "calm and submissive state"  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on January 14, 2015, 05:19:51 AM
of all the comments in this thread (my favourite by far) this was actually the best one :)

Haha, I'm glad you enjoyed it too! I definately found it hillarious right in the moment! I expected the rat to go KABOOM and incapacitate my colonist! Quite a better outcome! ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 14, 2015, 10:42:51 AM
I got an animal whisperer in my colony!

He got back to be in a "calm and submissive state"  ;D

Was the colonist named Caesar by any chance?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on January 14, 2015, 11:51:19 AM
Was the colonist named Caesar by any chance?
Haha unfortunately not! ;)
"Show dominance! You're the pack leader!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: john pretzel on January 14, 2015, 06:00:22 PM
That Ceaser colonist would have a van with calm and submissive state boomrats that followed him around to pacify other paranoid boomrats  ;D

Therapy lol

It would be fun someone program celebrities to visit colonies like some pawns do ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: datanoppa on January 18, 2015, 03:47:31 PM
This made me laugh aloud.
I had incident with Ancient ship crashing my backyard and pirates assaulting siege same time, it didn't end well either side.
Pic included if it works. 

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ryukenss on January 19, 2015, 12:51:42 AM
Just started a new world, with a new colony. I find a single cryosleep casket, and i open it with people ready to fire. Friendly injured pops out, I quickly build a shelter around. I had amazing specialized characters here, and I had a social. Second try the friendly (Named Rush) is recruited. She is a great shot, and has a lot of other skills. However, she is Too Smart, so she ends up being dazed a few times. She gives up and tries to leave, and i arrest her. First time my social guy recruits her. She keeps this up for a while, and now she is a glass cannon in her own way. Next up in the New Colony, dubbed Salvation, a new guy named Lie Ren is beating out a fire from an electric discharge, when suddenly he goes to bed on the other side of the fire. People barely put his bed out, as i am LMFAO very hard. And he sleeps through it. Will probably post more as Salvation develops, but it is being slow to advance. TL;DR A girl is always leaving the colony and then rejoining, Lie Ren sleeps while he is on fire.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ryukenss on January 19, 2015, 01:54:03 AM
It has been about an hour from my last post. I have a few new members, and one new member, Hitori, is being attacked by a boomrat. Yes. She just goes and eats a meal whilst a boomrat is gnawing her legs. I send Gunnery Sargent Buck to go take him out, and Hitori just sits there on fire. Eating the simple meal. Damn, she must have been hungry....
Gunnery Sargent Buck has been my hunter for days. I made a shooting range for him (FYI no mods, just shooting a steel wall) I have the wall at the end of his range. He hits it every time. I have done this multiple times. No matter what, he always hits it. Game Logic.  :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Barney372 on January 19, 2015, 03:25:23 AM
ok the funiest thing that has HAPPENED to me... (user error) is the cave in bug... i dug a big chunk of metal out... my least best miner started the cave in chain... and he does not die (3 points in mining) my best miner (10 points) tries to clear it ONCE and gets flattened
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: electrichobo on January 19, 2015, 05:55:38 AM
Certainly there are hundreds of stories like Grim. The guy was the first raider to assault my colony, and so he came alone. His leg got blown off in the firefight, and finally a headshot from my shooter left him braindamaged, but alive. After having his vegetables nurtured back to half-health, he was employed as a cleaner. However he had severe brain damage and a peg leg, so he was neither the brightest nor the fastest tool in the shed.

Seriously, i've never seen anything move that slow. A centipede would have outrun Grim easily. Grim needed rescuing regularly: the first time he nearly starved before he reached the food storage. As he finally picked up the food, he got knocked out from hypothermia because he couldn't get out of the freezer fast enough.

Soon after that a fire broke out in the yard while Grim was hauling rock chunks across. The poor bastard couldn't evade the flames and caught fire himself and got knocked out with serious burns. Still it wasn't fatal for him but i had to laugh so hard because the poor bastard was way more work for the rest of my colonists than what he contributed to the colony himself.

He got hypothermia like three-four times after that, in the colony food storage. Later on, when i had ordered some food survival packages to be hauled from the other end of the map, i forgot that Grim was also on hauling duty. So i got an alert for starvation and wondered what the hell, i have plenty of food, and focused on the event to find Grim alone in the middle of nowhere, never going to make it to the survival package nor back to the base alive.

I had to draw a square of food storage on the desert next to Grim and send another colonist to haul some food close to him. Grim survived again, just barely. I've never taken care of any other colonist as much as Grim.

These are the stories that make this game awesome for me personally. Just pure brilliance.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OmG_PotatoeZ on January 19, 2015, 10:04:16 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/uR7YwOm.png)
Verry good siege.


I know right?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bargeral on January 22, 2015, 05:01:35 PM
Set a squirrel as target for hunting when my guy had some Incendiary weapon equipped. I LOL so hard I couldn't stop him until half the map was ablaze.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MyNameIsSpyder on January 23, 2015, 11:21:01 PM
I locked everybody but one outside in a frozen environment, leaving them to fight some raiders. Everybody except for the pacifist noble I left inside died from either the raiders or the cold. My noble couldn't do anything, and slowly starved.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on January 24, 2015, 08:20:07 AM
Verry good siege.

I know right?

If you still have a savegame from this event, use the claim-tool on the walls, would be hilarious to watch them burn themselves. I think some of them are even carrying rocket launchers...


Set a squirrel as target for hunting when my guy had some Incendiary weapon equipped. I LOL so hard I couldn't stop him until half the map was ablaze.

Praise the Squirrel!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OldVamp on January 24, 2015, 08:48:35 AM
I got the message a pirate siege was beginning their attack. I set my colonists in their defending positions, and waited. and waited. and waited.

Finally i look and they have frozen to death.

They must have been a poor group of pirates that could only steal from haberdasheries because all they were wearing were hats. (likely due to a bad mod combination).
3/4 of the party had hat stacks like this.

I just imaging pirates with Kevlar helmets over their naughty bits and fuzzy hats sewn together over the rest hehe.



[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 24, 2015, 09:21:32 AM
Wow, froze to death even while wearing a parka!  I hope your guys were okay. 

About the hats, I've seen that when I was only using the IceSheet mod.  I think it was a bug in the core game, and I've seen others post about it too.  (See my Community Colony link for another example.)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dr. Z on January 24, 2015, 09:31:16 AM
Vanilla bug most likely, I run in that too, think I even posted in this thread, and I only run mods tht tweak or add simple things to the game so I don't think it has to do with mods. Maybe it's just a missing line that pawns can only spawn with one hat or something simple like that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OldVamp on January 24, 2015, 10:22:37 AM
yeah they were fine in a climate controlled mountain.
It was around -33 f

biggest hat stack:

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on January 24, 2015, 02:13:08 PM
@shenzya what mod are you using for those hair models? They look fantastic
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: shenzya on January 26, 2015, 07:37:21 AM
@shenzya what mod are you using for those hair models? They look fantastic

-MoreHair
-AnimuHair
-RandomHair
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on January 26, 2015, 08:02:15 AM
@shenzya what mod are you using for those hair models? They look fantastic

-MoreHair
-AnimuHair
-RandomHair

where do I get the randomhairs? they're fabulous!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: shenzya on January 26, 2015, 08:28:37 AM
if not here it must be from nexus
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on January 26, 2015, 10:28:00 AM
Tnx ;)

EDIT: Cant seem to find the mod anywhere on nexus or here
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: UnassumingWhiteGuy on January 26, 2015, 01:37:03 PM
A doctor suffered a mental break while she was treating a patient and went from healing him to stabbing him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: monkeystyxx on January 26, 2015, 01:48:09 PM
Doctor with cataracts in both eyes (seems common in Rimworld...) is the last survivor of a sole Scyther drop-pod attack on my already beleaguered colony.

Has the scyther in his sights with the dead hunter's Lee Enfield.

Fires at him.

Knackers a squirrel 4 tiles away.

That was hilarious enough, by the Scyther returns fire and hits a boar (he'd taken significant damage while killing everyone else in the colony, so his aiming wasn't too hot).

Feeling this is a bit pathetic, I decide to charge the Doc at the Scyther for one last hurrah, he get off a punch to the thorax, and the Scyther misses completely. I'm thinking 'surely not?', but alas no. The next Scyther attack destroys Doc's heart.

And so ends the colony, in Last Stand fashion.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jinh86 on January 26, 2015, 10:56:25 PM
Pirate attack, I send my best sniper there (full power armor and hyperweave cloth beneath + m24) to shot them down.
1 vs 8, but she's smart, she's fast, she's skilled, she's no mercy for them and kill them all...

...and then something happened. A squirrel got mad on the way back exactly close to her! She has no melee skill and he's too close to avoid the clash. She manage to kill him in 8 hits, but she received at least 12 counter attacks from the lil crazy animal.

"All scratches. I thought."
But then after she got healed I've checked better ~


She was smart, she was fast, she was skilled and she used to have no mercy...now with a Brain 2/10 she's the dumbest entity in the world.


Maybe I'll cryo-crypt her, waiting for a future fix to the brain (no mod run, otherwise I would use the AI core ^^ )
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: glynstone on January 27, 2015, 05:03:57 AM
A group of pirates arrived to besiege my town.  It was still pretty early, so maybe 12 pirates or so.  They moved into a cave with 7 cryptopods.  I had only one mortor, so I put my guy in there and told him to fire away.  First shot hits one of the pods, and all 7 open with mercenaries laying slaughter to the pirates.  The 2 remaining mercenaries then entered my town and got destroyed by turrets.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ctgill on January 27, 2015, 03:17:56 PM
Be me
Be on colony day unknown
Have a miner with a pessimist trait in the tunnels carving out my new expansion
"Mental break imminent"
"Miner has gone on a rampage!"
"A ceiling has collapsed"
Miner was crushed as he was running towards his fellow miners to do them grievous harm.
My sides reached orbit long before my colonists did.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OldVamp on January 27, 2015, 11:25:45 PM
I bought 200 food from a trader.
It was winter and the animals around the stockpile ate it all before I could get it hauled to the pantry.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on January 28, 2015, 02:09:47 AM
I was saving up a TON of gold so that my lvl 16-artistic pop singer "Min" could sculpt yet another masterpiece for the colony, only this time in gold!

Instead some drooling philistine grabbed all the gold and made an awful golden statue with it. Half a ton of solid gold and it's not much prettier than a potted plant.

Still sold it for a ton of silver and 12+ bionic arms, legs, eyes and claws [/evil grin]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Nolic0321 on January 28, 2015, 08:58:39 AM
A naked pirate that I easily overtook and joined my colony....literally had nothing on!  Gonna be posting a video on it soon.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 28, 2015, 12:35:21 PM
^ See the link in my signature (Community Colony).  Ice Sheet biome.  Landed with 3 females, all of them naked.  The first raider was wearing a bunch of hats, and nothing else.  Creeeeeepyyyyy!  Made a story out of it.  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: postm00v on January 28, 2015, 04:25:25 PM
I had a visitor who had a maximum temperature tollerance of 15 degrees. When he entered the map he immediatly suffered a heatstroke (outside temperature was 40ish degrees).

I suddenly noticed he made a beeline for my walk-in freezer, and decided to randomly stand in a pile of potatoes. I laughed way harder then I should have.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SlimeCrusher on January 30, 2015, 03:30:14 PM
Just happened to me, i was playing on randy random and then some tribals appear and decide to attack after a while. A few moments after, some raiders appeared wich also decided to wait. After defeating the tribals, the raiders started attacking, i waited a while until they broke my main door, in the same time, they break my prision door, and a prisioner tries to escape, i quickly build a door (after defeating the raiders), and when im about to arrest the prisioner, i see that she was being beaten by megascarabs, wich also knock out the guy who was going to rescue her. I kill the megascarabs with 2 other colonists, and then i wonder "I don't remember seeing any warning that megascarabs went psychotic...", i decide to switch my camera to the only cryptosleep casket building in the map for some reason... And i see this:

(http://i.imgur.com/Qx28R1x.jpg)

Atleast i have 5 new prisioners :D
edit: from wich 2 survived and made it inside the colony :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 31, 2015, 09:45:30 AM
LOL, yup!  Just had this happen last night.  The raiders busted some pods open on their way to my base.  The ensuing swarm made the raiders give up and run away.  My single turret (new colony) mopped up what remained of the swarm, and I got a prisoner and some shiny armor & weapons out of it.  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Argon on January 31, 2015, 11:35:05 PM
Had a colonist get shot in the nose, get a nose infection, and then have his nose removed.
Every time I mouse over his health tab I start cracking up uncontrollably.

-Argon
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Daemoneyes on February 01, 2015, 07:31:53 AM
So there's a pirate near my colony right now, named Scipio Little.

Child backstory: Caveworld tunneler. -2 shooting, among other things.
"Years underground have damaged his vision, so he can't shoot very well."

Adult backstory: Pit brawler. +8 melee and some disabled things.

Traits: Brawler. -6 shooting, +6 melee, melee hit chance x150%.
"His accuracy is greatly increased in melee combat, but he'll be very unhappy if asked to carry a ranged weapon."

He has 17 melee and 0 shooting. He would have -5 shooting if negative skills were possible.
He's also 69 years old and has cataracts.
His shooting accuracy stat is 57.16%.

What's his job for the pirates? Carrying a melee weapon, maybe? No, he's a sniper carrying an M-24.
He's part of a siege group, and he's the only sniper in it. So, if I wanted to try and shoot at them, he would be the only one shooting back.

No wonder they shot off each mortar once and then immediately decided to assault the colony, before I even tried to shoot at them. (I don't actually know why they did that, but it might have to do with the crashed ship part that's almost dead but I left alive in the hope Scipio might go insane and start punching the pirates.)

"I hate shooting from a distance. I want to get up close and personal!"
Considering you probably can't see anything that isn't up close, I'm not surprised.


And with his melee skills you wonder why no one ever tried to take his rifle and is alive to tell the story? ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on February 03, 2015, 09:51:37 AM
I'm playing on a big map and have a couple of "hunter shacks" out in the wilderness where there is food and beds should a hunter find himself starved or exhausted miles from the colony. A bunch of tribals  attack the colony and get slaughtered by my colonists, leaving lots of packaged survival meals. "Those would be great stashed in my hunter shacks!" I exclaim and duly order a hauler to drag some to one.

He picks up one and hauls that one meal to the shack.

/facepalm

He gets to the shack fine and deposits the one meal ... and before I can forbid it ...

"Oh, that was such a long walk. I'm really hungry. Good job I hauled this packaged survival meal here then!"

omnomnomnom

 >:(

I'm going to replace both his legs with wooden pegs now.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on February 03, 2015, 11:27:35 AM
^ Solution: Pause game, draft colonist.  They'll drop whatever they're hauling.  If there's any currently in the stockpile, forbid them, and when the colonist hauls it to that stack, it'll already been forbidden too.  A bit fiddly, but it gets the job done.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TheSilencedScream on February 04, 2015, 11:12:49 AM
It's completely ineffective in the core game, but when packs of animals are on screen, it's a lot of fun to draft 6-8 colonists and use mortars to hunt.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dawa1147 on February 05, 2015, 04:00:41 PM
So today two Traiders arrived within the same day. I opened the Comms console, and saw this:
Ludeon Ludicrous (Slave Trader)
Industrial Lubricants (Slave Trader).
Still can't stop laughing over the mental image of these poor Slaves...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on February 05, 2015, 07:16:05 PM
...a prison with no legs doesn't get cabin fever...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chaouki on February 06, 2015, 12:27:56 PM
...a prison with no legs doesn't get cabin fever...

yeah, doesn't make sense at all but is very practical :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ccheuer on February 07, 2015, 03:53:34 PM
A doctor suffered a mental break while she was treating a patient and went from healing him to stabbing him.

Oh wow, I didn't realize that Tynan added surgeon simulator into Rimworld...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mussels on February 08, 2015, 12:54:26 AM
So i just survived a tribal attack of what felt like 100 guys with wooden clubs that destroyed my uranium autodoors.

Suddenly, scattered drop pods of mechs. lots of them... and then another alert. Oh crap i say. Raiders with guns i say.


nevermind, they met up on the way to my base :D

http://img.techpowerup.org/150208/Capture389.jpg

Edit: and now a second group arrived on top of the first...
http://img.techpowerup.org/150208/Capture390.jpg

Things are getting crazy... this colony may be doomed.
http://img.techpowerup.org/150208/Capture391.jpg
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EBrown on February 08, 2015, 12:13:00 PM
I don't know that it's really a "funny" thing, but I love the description for the Trigger-happy trait. "Pew! Pew! Pew! ____ is a terrible shot, but he doesn't care, because guns are awesome!" I say "pew pew pew" all the time, so it makes me giggle a bit.

Thanks,
EBrown
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sorenzo on February 09, 2015, 05:10:40 AM
About Rego - in case he's still alive in one of your save game files, or if anyone else finds themselves giving intensive care to a brain damaged prisoner...

You can just create a 2x1 room on the edge of the map, make it your only prisoner room, and have one of your colonists carry or escort the prisoner. The poor guy will only have to shamble about 50 metres from then on, before he becomes someone else's problem. I suppose the natives won't mind stumbling upon the dessicated remains of a friend they thought to be lost as long as they can tell their compatriot didn't die on your particular turf... Granting you a hefty opinion bonus!! :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vexare on February 09, 2015, 03:56:57 PM
Had a colonist get shot in the nose, get a nose infection, and then have his nose removed.
Every time I mouse over his health tab I start cracking up uncontrollably.

Did you name that colonist Tyrion by chance? :P

My funniest story just happened last night and was awesome. I only wish I'd known it was going to happen I'd have tried to record it!

A small 5 man group of pirates lands and sets up a foxhole with a mortar and proceeds to start firing at my base's walls. While I'm dealing with setting up a counter-attack, a nearby boomrat goes nuts and makes a bee-line straight for the pirates. Hilarity ensues. Their 'melee' guy runs up and starts attacking the boomrat while two shooters are shooting it. I thought for sure it would blow up then and there, but no - the shooters shoot their own guy dead! It then proceeds to head for the rest, who dutifully shoot it dead wherein it promptly blows up and destroys all of them except the mortar shooter who then fled the map burning to death... man that was epic funny.

We've now renamed the colony "Fellowship of The Boomrat" ;)

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sorenzo on February 10, 2015, 06:26:52 AM
The obvious way to treat a critical spinal injury would be by using an exoskeleton. Bionic implants would be possible, but would require a much higher level of technology. (Resembling the game's differentiation between the simple arm prostheses and a bionic arm. Surely a civilization capable of safely replacing parts of the spine would be able to give +20% movement bonuses on top of that, too!)

Tip: If you don't have enough firefighters, remember that only flammable objects are flammable. Cutting all the grass and removing flammable structures 2 tiles away from a fire will prevent it from spreading. You might want to not cut the trees since that takes much longer than the grass. If a fire has already spread out of control, you can save your structures by surrounding them with plant-free tiles, temporarily by cutting the plants or permanently by laying concrete. Do remember that items can burn too, so remove them from the barrier too.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MyNameIsSpyder on February 14, 2015, 05:06:19 PM
That moment when lightning strikes your main reactor during a raid.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Hayhorse on February 14, 2015, 09:07:58 PM
More sad than funny but: One of my colonists on my fist open colony ( Not in a mountain ) Durring a crashed ship event ( At my south entrance ) As my Colonists where just gaining the upper hand against the Mechanoids, I send out my Brawler ( With a marble club ) to try to beat to death a Centipede ( Real smart ) while I had my small strike team on the east moving up. One of my two snipers shoots off the head of Samantha, my cook/doctor. The Brawler also lost his leg to the Centipede. I proceeded to bury Samantha's body over looking a lake and left her APB-Rifle sitting with her on her grave.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on February 15, 2015, 08:28:27 AM
so big head mode is a thing:
(http://i.imgur.com/tQUQzaj.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on February 15, 2015, 08:58:38 AM
so big head mode is a thing:
http://i.imgur.com/tQUQzaj.png

I can picture how fabulous moustaches Parker's, Duster's and Dixon's hairs
would make if they'd be like an inch lower
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Novellum on February 15, 2015, 09:21:32 AM
Had a failed colony last night that was utterly wiped out by tribes people, inside the colony was a lone droid sitting crafting combat droids to be sent out the front door. Eventually he to died, leaving the colony to just a single pyschopath who then proceeded to repel several raids by himself by camping out in the ruins.

This just proves that a multi-stage defense system pales in comparison to a nut with a gun.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on February 15, 2015, 10:58:55 AM
so big head mode is a thing:
http://i.imgur.com/tQUQzaj.png

I can picture how fabulous moustaches Parker's, Duster's and Dixon's hairs
would make if they'd be like an inch lower

Haha i see what you mean.... could make the heads even bigger till they fit, so big head mode and big head mode with moustaches. I may actually do this...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: joao pedro pow on February 15, 2015, 02:03:43 PM
I lost 6 brave men to 3 mega beetles, and they were well armed with heavy jackets and poles weapons when my last chance power destroying it appeared , with a triple bazooka , I ended up killing my last settler, the survivors, but killed 2 mega beetles ...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on February 15, 2015, 03:13:49 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/M6xawWb.png)

pfffff
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: fernandodlc on February 16, 2015, 07:05:48 AM
So the first mod I downloaded was EDB prepare carefully.

I painstakingly set up a colony with me and 3 of my best buddies. Obviously we all had to have miniguns. 5 mins in one of my best friends had shot me in the head and turned me into a vegetable in a hunting "accident" (I still think this was deliberate). I stopped playing for at least a month after that, just couldn't bring myself to pick it up again.

Thanks Tynan for the emotional rollercoaster you have put me on using a couple of damn sprites.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EvilDonald on February 16, 2015, 10:00:35 PM
Well, not counting the time visitors kept wandering into my prison cell and casually punching the same poor prisoner half to death...

I had a nice big colony built that attracted large visiting parties.  They then for some reason would never leave, someone would start shooting, and they'd all murder each other.  I'd be left with piles of corpses to loot and clean up, and about the time that was done another load of them would show up and the same thing would happen all over again.  I never figured out what was going on, but that was easily my richest colony...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mithradates on February 16, 2015, 10:38:54 PM
Well, not counting the time visitors kept wandering into my prison cell and casually punching the same poor prisoner half to death...

I had a nice big colony built that attracted large visiting parties.  They then for some reason would never leave, someone would start shooting, and they'd all murder each other.  I'd be left with piles of corpses to loot and clean up, and about the time that was done another load of them would show up and the same thing would happen all over again.  I never figured out what was going on, but that was easily my richest colony...

I had exactly that happen...except that two tribes tended to spawn around the same time, and go to war with 60+ tribesmen each in the middle of my base. I had to cordon off whole sections of it to avoid instant breaking from the sheer number of corpses. Our days would literally just be 3/4 of us hauling, 1/5 cremating, and the rest preparing fine meals until the Muffalo and even the damned Boomrats ran out. The lag was so bad that the game was nigh-unplayable. Obviously this was a few versions ago.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on February 17, 2015, 08:02:16 AM
He was a though one :D

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on February 17, 2015, 08:51:16 AM
He was a though one :D
Wow. You could stick him in a jar and sell him as "Finely Chopped Steak".
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on February 17, 2015, 05:13:38 PM
I get an alert that a colonist needs treatment. I check and find that my militia sniper - equipped with full power armour, devilstrands and an M24 - is being attacked by a psychotic tortoise.

The tortoise managed to bite through the power armour and inflict torso wounds three times. Either this tortoise managed to jump chest high to bite my colonist, or it climbed up my colonist's legs, latched on to the power armour breast plate and just started chomping through the ballistic armour.

The M24 is useless at close ranges so my colonist was probably trying to fend it off with her bare hands.

This came to mind ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCI18qAoKq4
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on February 18, 2015, 02:25:46 PM
"Why is this operation taking so long?!?"

*checks doctor*

*doctor is blind and missing an arm*

(http://i.imgur.com/BQPCeXl.jpg)

*facepalm*

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on February 18, 2015, 05:35:06 PM
I hope that's not Alpha 9, or else White's toast!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vonholtz on February 18, 2015, 09:04:51 PM
Ok I am not sure how this rate as funny but here goes. I have been using a lot of mod's of late and one is the Imperial Guard mod. It has added factions one of them is Orks. They some time come at you in large numbers(as anyone who played WH40K knows is right).

Well I got the attack message Ork are attacking. Another mod let me know the number of attackers. 97 orks and 7 grots were coming for my colony and I only have 11 pawns and turrets to try and stop them. I had 2 mortars so I had two pf my pawns stop off on the way to the front line and fire one round each.

As I was setting my pawns in place I got a message the ork are fleeing. So I stop and went to them and 36 were on the ground hurt and 23 were dead out right. The 38 still standing were running for it. And I looked all of them were hurt bad. 3 of the grots were still up and just stopped. they had not clue what to do. So I had to go out and kill them.

What happened was as they ran across the large map there was a gap on the mountain that brought all of them together at one square of the map and the one and a million mortar round hit that square. So I thought my colony was going to get messed up bad. But as it turns out worst my pawns had was some lost sleep.

Now I am not sure if it funny to you but I fell out of my chair laughing my ass off when it happened and I got to keep going.  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Gibson8088 on February 18, 2015, 10:12:01 PM
New Alpha 9 game, no mods.  Squirrel goes crazy and charges at a herd of elk hanging around my colony.  They incap the crazy squirrel so I decide to have my colonists kill it because it could recover.  So, I pointed my sharpshooters(skill of 1 and 0 in shooting) at the squirrel...

...and so far I have 5 dead elk, 1 incapped and the squirrel is still alive.  Had to undraft my colonists so they could sleep...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MyNameIsMike on February 19, 2015, 01:32:09 AM
I ran into a really big cryptosleep temple, like 8 or 9 pods. So, as is my precaution, i set up a room around one of them, then surround the rest with turrets. I put two colonists in the room and order them to open the pod. EVERY POD HAS A PIRATE IN FULL POWER ARMOR. My turrets open fire, killing a couple pirates, but the pirates fire in return, causing one of my turrets to explode and creating one of the biggest explosions I've ever seen in the game. Most of the surrounding turrets are destroyed or destabilized, causing yet more explosions which tear apart the temple and damage the pods. The pods begin to explode too, killing most of the other pirates. Keep in mind, by the way, that the remaining turrets and pirates are still fighting it out. By the time this is all finished, all the turrets are gone 3 of my colonists are dead, all of the pirates are dead, the temple is obliterated and the fires have almost spread back to my colony.Oh, and then my cook gets malaria.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MyNameIsMike on February 19, 2015, 01:36:57 AM
He was a though one :D
Uhhh. Neck Cut off?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on February 19, 2015, 03:40:50 AM
And 829 cuts to the torso. He refused to die  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on February 20, 2015, 01:51:35 AM
Now, from a different pirate group, a pirate ended up running toward me and attacking by himself (the others were preparing to attack). Carrying a Limestone shiv (awful). He hit once, got hit once, and fled in panic. Probably smart.

Because a limestone shiv (awful) does 2 damage a hit.

Lol. He just brought it for show. If the code worked right, he'd walk up to you with the shiv and then just punch you because his fist is better (though I think the selection has a bug where it ignores weapon modifers from quality etc atm).

The first attacker of my new A9 colony is a pirate with a Marble shiv (shoddy 32%) that does 2 damage and has a market value of 1.57. He's more of a minor nuisance than a threat. Much less dangerous than a squirrel. He cuts a colonist wearing the starting synthread stuff with 1 damage, which goes away on its own in less than a minute, and he would take more than a minute to break through a wooden door even if my colonists weren't repairing it. I could probably ignore him until he starved to death.

Marble shiv (shoddy 32%):
Market value $1.57, Melee damage 2, Melee cooldown 2.24s
Wood:
Market value $1.40, Melee damage 8, Melee cooldown 2.20s

A piece of wood is cheaper and 4 times as effective. Maybe I should let him starve to death attacking the door; would I really want my fourth colonist to be someone so dumb he tries to cut through a door with a rock?


Now that I look at his backstory, it might actually explain it...

Adulthood: Escaped convict
Freddie denies involvement in the crimes that brought about his incarceration in a brutal penal colony. He escaped by tunnelling beneath the perimeter using modified cutlery.
Mining: +4
Crafting: +2
Doctoring disabled


So he probably crafted a rock into a shiv, and now is trying to tunnel through my door with it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Barley on February 20, 2015, 02:43:30 AM
Booted up a new Rimworld Colony. Chose to go with the first randomly generated colonists. Who did I get?

Two 56 year old men.
And a 38 year old, genetically engineered, female sex slave.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mithradates on February 20, 2015, 11:54:08 AM
Booted up a new Rimworld Colony. Chose to go with the first randomly generated colonists. Who did I get?

Two 56 year old men.
And a 38 year old, genetically engineered, female sex slave.

Oh, I can one-up you here.

I've had 'Ellie' before. She was 23. And in the same generation...Mi/Mia (I forget her name) the Teen Pop Star; 16. And then some 25 year old dude whose name I believe was Mike. He was an Oaf.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on February 20, 2015, 09:54:58 PM
My colony's first victim of food poisoning is the sniper who shot my cook's arm off (and was captured).

(http://i.imgur.com/sEceJiY.png)

Inadvertently... sure...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on February 21, 2015, 01:07:20 PM
A visitor hanging out in my stockpile puts her meal on the ground in order to eat it. The moment it touches the ground a nearby colonist brazenly swipes it and carries it back to the dining room and eats it himself  ;D

It's a new colony so perhaps he got fed up with all the survival meals lol
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on February 21, 2015, 05:37:15 PM
Well, thats... nasty... ;D although I am quite intrigued how he managed to depict a burning turtle in a erotic way ;D

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mithradates on February 21, 2015, 08:41:22 PM
Well, thats... nasty... ;D although I am quite intrigued how he managed to depict a burning turtle in a erotic way ;D

No-no; it's not the turtle that is being depicted erotically...it's the people looking on. You have some sick colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Der Failer on February 22, 2015, 10:56:31 AM
I still wondering why they bordered bringing this poor guy to a raid.
I imagine two of them carrying him to my colony dropping him on the ground and say to him he should wait there they will be back soon (spoiler: they won't).

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on February 22, 2015, 04:36:23 PM
Funniest thing that happened to me yet was a group of visitors came and started eating my food and they left right as a raid started and one of them got shot in the pelvis and was remarkably slow so she was walking around slowly and she goes into a dazed and confused state and i'm like "okay well I cant get here arrested or else they will hate me and I can't help her or get rid of her so she'll just bleed out". turns out I got a tough one , not only does she not bleed out she also doesn't starve and she gets out of the broken state and decides to come to my colony and eat all my food forever then after she single handedly managed to eat every piece of cooked food in the colony she then eats raw stuff and goes on a psychotic rampage in my medical room and attacks my super soldier who is on anesthetic and by the time anyone gets there the dude is already missing a bionic eye that I had to replace ... not fun.

another time was the one where I was being attacked by about 20 raiders who were beseiging me and a guy walks right through their camp to grab a beaver we killed earlier and then gets incapped and my super soldier has to run across the map and snipe people who try to kidnap him just so on the last one the explosive weapon he has kills the guy  >:(

third time was when one of my colonists was manning a mortar against a raid of about 30 people and kills every single one of them with a head shot a heart shot or incaps them with leg shots it was freaking holarious
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sorenzo on February 23, 2015, 11:15:51 AM
This is certainly not the funniest thing I've seen, but it's quite memorable.

Lorr, the Empath, had been with me from the start. He was quite capable as a doctor and a cook, and was a huge asset when it came to recruiting and trading. But, of course, he would never lift a finger to hunt or fight, even in self-defense. Which made for some wonky early battles - half my compound nearly burnt down because it took too long to incapacitate a stray raider before I could deal with the rest. Of course, the ever dutiful Lorr did help put out the fires.

One day, much later, I am attacked by a large group of raiders. At this point I have about twenty colonists, and a strong defensive perimeter to put them behind. I was quite confident that I could avoid losses, but I did not. Why? Because shortly after the raiders had gotten into position, and I had started firing at them, Lorr the Empath, who I had obviously not drafted to fight, runs into the no-man's land. I imagine he was waving his arms in the air, trying to explain to everyone that all this violence was really unnecessary and futile. Of course, his impromptu negotiations failed when he was shot dead - by which side I frankly don't know, probably both.

I couldn't keep playing the save after a while without Lorr. It just wasn't the same. And I'm pretty sure he was my best cook, warden, and doctor all at the same time. I would have happily lost several nameless, faceless combat veterans instead of Lorr.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on February 23, 2015, 03:07:56 PM
ERRMAHGERD SQUIRRELS ;D

the screenshot is way back from alpha7, but cracks me up everytime ^^

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on February 24, 2015, 06:59:28 AM
Not really funny but it might be

Okay so I have a bunker colony in a boreal forest (no boomrats) there is no cause for fire anywhere near me when suddenly I hear a hiss and a boom like a turret exploding and I think "well what could have caused that theres nothing on fire or anything that would start on fire for 100 cells outside my base" so I look around and as it turns out my geothermal generator decided it hated its life and blew up causing about half my batteries to explode the other half near it were on fire and it put half my bunker in darkness (I still havent fixed it as this happened late yesterday and only a few days ago in game
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MyNameIsMike on February 24, 2015, 11:28:52 PM
This is Tater. Say hello to tater.
Tater is a man from the town of Beggar's rest stop. Every week or so he comes to my colony, sits in on a box of potatoes in my fridge for about a day, nearly dies of hypothermia, and then leaves again. I didn't know that rimworld had recurring characters, but Tater has left and returned to my map at least 3 times, always doing the same thing.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on February 25, 2015, 11:41:02 AM
This is Tater. Say hello to tater.
Tater is a man from the town of Beggar's rest stop. Every week or so he comes to my colony, sits in on a box of potatoes in my fridge for about a day, nearly dies of hypothermia, and then leaves again. I didn't know that rimworld had recurring characters, but Tater has left and returned to my map at least 3 times, always doing the same thing.

He better hope you don't get any cannibals or they may end up saying "boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew".
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on February 25, 2015, 05:19:50 PM
and as it turns out my geothermal generator decided it hated its life and blew up causing about half my batteries to explode

Geothermals produce heat. If theres like a free enclosed tile somewhere around it the temperature will rise to like 700 C and the generator will start burning ;)
Took me a while to figure that out in alpha 8, rebuilt a generator like 3 times before I noticed that ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: GhotiFish on February 25, 2015, 07:14:19 PM
So...

I just had to install a denture on one of my guinea pigs (I mean colonists). The surgery did not go as planned.

Somehow, installing a new jawbone required surgical incisions on my patient's torso, spine, and LEFT FEMUR.

It also left his brain scarred at a 3/10.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on February 25, 2015, 07:22:14 PM
and as it turns out my geothermal generator decided it hated its life and blew up causing about half my batteries to explode

Geothermals produce heat. If theres like a free enclosed tile somewhere around it the temperature will rise to like 700 C and the generator will start burning ;)
Took me a while to figure that out in alpha 8, rebuilt a generator like 3 times before I noticed that ;D
It had a cooler which was the odd thing my only theory is that one of the cave ins cause by terraforming somehow caused a fire which then exploded the generator
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lost Cause on February 27, 2015, 12:54:26 PM
My little 3 man colony has only just hit a year old, they managed to buy their first ever bionic eye.
It was a bit of a moment for us. We had just been attacked, our surgeon had got stabbed, the farmer had to act as a nurse to apply treatment but we captured a prisoner and we had a lot to be happy about! So right away as soon as the bionic bit lands I assign the surgery order to my construction/sniper chap.
Not what I forgot to do was unassigned my farmer from medical duty.
I get distracted forbidding things, I look back at my medical wing to see farmer bob standing ominously over the medical bed while my surgeon is in the brig chatting up the female prisoner...
I check on my snipers health and... farmer bob had just lopped his ear off!
Now I may not know much about no anatomy... but I recon you're a little to far to the left there.
so let this be a lesson. don't let farmers install prosthetics.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Apophis on February 28, 2015, 09:06:03 AM
This guy came to visit me. A too smart brawler with a gun equipped, he broke as soon as he became hungry :P

(http://i.imgur.com/LsdbGe6.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mythricia on March 02, 2015, 12:20:34 AM
So I'm playing on my pure Builder save, which is basically just Builder storyteller on lowest difficulty.... Get to the point where I'm building a ship, having decided that some of the oldest colony members have earned their freedom. Unfortunately I'm low on silver, and having just finished building the ship structure and just waiting on an AI core, I'm sitting there saying to myself, literally, "Man, it'd be kinda cool if I got an alien ship drop thingamajig, those drop AI cores.... But no chance of that happening".



*Pause for effect*

*Thud*



Oh.


(http://i.imgur.com/3rBNDHK.jpg)




At this point I'm sat in my chair at like 4AM in the morning literally crying in laughter / disbelief.


It happened so on-cue, it was almost a bit creepy, this thing landed, and I wish I could convey just how much I am not bullsh***ing you, within 5 seconds of me finishing my mumbling thought about how it'd be cool if it happened. My camera was still positioned above the ship building area with me sitting back kinda pondering what to do.


This freakin' game.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on March 02, 2015, 05:29:13 AM
It happened so on-cue, it was almost a bit creepy, this thing landed, and I wish I could convey just how much I am not bullsh***ing you, within 5 seconds of me finishing my mumbling thought about how it'd be cool if it happened. My camera was still positioned above the ship building area with me sitting back kinda pondering what to do.


This freakin' game.

*smh/chuckle*
youu lucky buster!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: brobe94 on March 02, 2015, 07:36:55 AM
Lol, not sure if these sculpture stories are considered spoilers or not, but I found this one quite hilarious and disturbing.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on March 02, 2015, 12:03:34 PM
Haha ;D whats up with those erotic burning animals, had a burning turtle a few pages back :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on March 02, 2015, 03:52:23 PM
I had a squirrel that had somehow been in cryptosleep for a year because it was chronologically 2 and biologically 1 still not sure what idiot put a healthy squirrel in cryptosleep (http://i.gyazo.com/a3f533b84f3e8861a73d4076448dfa60.png)
another time i found a dude who had two childhoods
(http://gyazo.com/3eb1972c32f0be0fbd167472dcf0c54b)
finally killed a guy with a moratar by shooting his head off while not hurting his body somehow
(http://i.gyazo.com/ddad97f43f12b2d354641172e03ddd9c.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on March 02, 2015, 10:07:36 PM
finally killed a guy with a moratar by shooting his head off while not hurting his body somehow
(http://i.gyazo.com/ddad97f43f12b2d354641172e03ddd9c.png)
Impressive marksmanship skills.
Mortar Eagle Eye.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jackgreenslade31 on March 07, 2015, 12:31:24 PM
My funniest moment in Rimworld was probably when one of my colonists was farming one day, and he suddenly went insane and was attacking my colonists, about 2 seconds after he started, not having killed anyone yet, a raid starts and he is immediately head shot and killed by a pirate. The pirate (It was early game and he only had a pistol and no armor) had pretty much saved us the trouble of killing the psycho + he was knocked out so we captured him. He pretty much replaced the psycho.

Also a time my colony got completely wiped out by like 10 psychotic squirrels  :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: HexCube on March 08, 2015, 05:51:10 PM
The best way to avoid ticking off your allies is to not have any ^.^
You'll be better off for it too.

I feel you!
(http://i.imgur.com/tHQnxew.png)

How? What mod? Or photoshop? Seriously? That's awesome. Please tell.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: lusername on March 09, 2015, 06:48:49 AM
It's photoshop, obviously. You can tell by the shoopmarks, and the obviously comical "skills". Still hilarious.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on March 09, 2015, 07:21:50 AM
It's photoshop, obviously. You can tell by the shoopmarks, and the obviously comical "skills". Still hilarious.
Pretty sure I used Microsoft paint for this one
(can't remember for certain but it opens lot faster so that's usually what I use with simple copy pasting.. Laziness is a bummer sometimes)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BetaSpectre on March 09, 2015, 09:31:06 AM
Built a bunker,
It has one opening to the sky I use to trade.
Whenever I get enemy drops they drop into the EXACT same spot each time.

I thank the RNG Gods for my turret mined trade post. For offers of Charged Rifles, human skin, and meat are always appreciated.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on March 09, 2015, 01:35:25 PM
Built a bunker,
It has one opening to the sky I use to trade.
Whenever I get enemy drops they drop into the EXACT same spot each time.

I thank the RNG Gods for my turret mined trade post. For offers of Charged Rifles, human skin, and meat are always appreciated.

Im guessing a8, cuz a9 you can trade under a roof. Incase you didnt know.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Apophis on March 10, 2015, 05:26:03 AM
Built a bunker,
It has one opening to the sky I use to trade.
Whenever I get enemy drops they drop into the EXACT same spot each time.

I thank the RNG Gods for my turret mined trade post. For offers of Charged Rifles, human skin, and meat are always appreciated.

Im guessing a8, cuz a9 you can trade under a roof. Incase you didnt know.

However, for receiving goods, you would like a roofless area. Enemies would almost always drop on that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mrzjadacz on March 16, 2015, 02:35:14 PM
My longsword. It was really heroic, I am sure. Probably next time he will make sword with a  squirrel or muffalo.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Carthege44 on March 24, 2015, 06:50:59 AM
Totally unintentional person via home zone  8)

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on March 24, 2015, 07:45:45 AM
Totally unintentional person via home zone  8)

he's drooling and giving you a thumbs up =P fantastic!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Remorium on March 26, 2015, 08:52:08 PM
I once had pirates lay siege to our colony with an incendiary mortar. They eventually proceeded to fall asleep from exhaustion and not only did we successfully steal their mortar shells (alas, if you do, they send in more from drop pods), but they didn't even respond until they got shot when we attacked them.

Needless to say, they all died.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on March 30, 2015, 07:37:31 AM
I once had pirates lay siege to our colony with an incendiary mortar. They eventually proceeded to fall asleep from exhaustion and not only did we successfully steal their mortar shells (alas, if you do, they send in more from drop pods), but they didn't even respond until they got shot when we attacked them.

Needless to say, they all died.
Huh.
Is it be possible to arrest sleeping hostile people?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Apophis on April 02, 2015, 10:57:23 AM

Huh.
Is it be possible to arrest sleeping hostile people?

I don't think so, but it is very possible to stab them without the others waking up! At least until they decide to assault your colony.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A_Soft_Machine_Man on April 07, 2015, 10:28:00 PM
(http://i1123.photobucket.com/albums/l550/RaidouFrost/Rimworld%20u%20so%20silly_zpshqvwt9ae.png)

The most pleasant of imports.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on April 07, 2015, 11:49:09 PM
"If your import is abrasive or hostile in any way, give us a ring and you'll get your silver back... Guaranteed!*"


Refunds may take between 4 months and 4 years. Consumer descretion is advised.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ZioN on April 12, 2015, 07:53:57 AM
When my only cook walked in front of my hunter and got his jaw blown off, he couldn't eat... the irony
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Turps on April 13, 2015, 01:53:24 AM
Well not the funnest but... Clones one aged 29 other 32 same stats except +2 growing on the top one and different traits, both can't do violence or cooking.
(http://i.imgur.com/ucWod5Y.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperpeople on April 24, 2015, 03:25:23 PM
Priorities. She has them  :P Youre not you when your angry

(http://www.bilder-upload.eu/thumb/bee3ee-1429903977.png) (http://www.bilder-upload.eu/show.php?file=bee3ee-1429903977.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on April 24, 2015, 03:33:29 PM
Priorities. She has them  :P Youre not you when your angry

(http://www.bilder-upload.eu/thumb/bee3ee-1429903977.png) (http://www.bilder-upload.eu/show.php?file=bee3ee-1429903977.png)

At that range, squirrel is more dangerous.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperpeople on April 25, 2015, 05:09:44 PM
Priorities. She has them  :P Youre not you when your angry

(http://www.bilder-upload.eu/thumb/bee3ee-1429903977.png) (http://www.bilder-upload.eu/show.php?file=bee3ee-1429903977.png)

At that range, squirrel is more dangerous.

It wasn't attacking ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on April 25, 2015, 06:57:06 PM
Priorities. She has them  :P Youre not you when your angry

(http://www.bilder-upload.eu/thumb/bee3ee-1429903977.png) (http://www.bilder-upload.eu/show.php?file=bee3ee-1429903977.png)

At that range, squirrel is more dangerous.

It wasn't attacking ;)
Irrelevant! kill it before it lays eggs!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Makz on April 26, 2015, 08:19:59 AM
Built An Awesome base. My colonists were chilling;they had pistols and grenades. Everything went glori... Oh no. Raiders with sniper rifles invaded the base.Everyone dies!!!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaplain on April 26, 2015, 11:44:53 PM
Made a game populated by co-workers.  I had a female co-worker hunting a boar another who had immigrated from Australia was harvesting a berry bush near the boar.  Right on queue co-worker #1 shoots co-worker #2 and I could just hear him yelling with his accent, "WTF B****!?  YOU SHOT ME!  YOU F***ING SHOT ME!!!"

Then next day I got them to act it out at work.  It was priceless.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on April 27, 2015, 01:07:22 PM
^ Must have been awesome!  Pics or it didn't happen.  :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TitaniumTurtle on April 28, 2015, 09:39:27 PM
So my latest recruit had a melee of 9 and shooting of 3, but because of the way I set up my defenses, melee is essentially useless so I gave him a rocket launcher figuring that he couldnt really miss with that. about a week ingame after recruiting him I get the "Alpha Beavers" scenario. I immediately set all beavers to be hunted and all colonists to prioritize hunting. This dumbass walks up to 3 beavers and at point blank fires the rocket launcher. Not only does he kill all the beavers, but he destroys all the trees around them, starts a huge fire destroying more trees (-.-), destroys the rocket launcher (I didnt know you could do that), and gets launched like 12 squares backwards. He somehow manages to survive without losing any limbs (although they are all shredded) and is completely healed after a single night in the medical wing. I very quickly changed his priorities to crafting...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on April 29, 2015, 09:14:55 AM
So my latest recruit had a melee of 9 and shooting of 3, but because of the way I set up my defenses, melee is essentially useless so I gave him a rocket launcher figuring that he couldnt really miss with that. about a week ingame after recruiting him I get the "Alpha Beavers" scenario. I immediately set all beavers to be hunted and all colonists to prioritize hunting. This dumbass walks up to 3 beavers and at point blank fires the rocket launcher. Not only does he kill all the beavers, but he destroys all the trees around them, starts a huge fire destroying more trees (-.-), destroys the rocket launcher (I didnt know you could do that), and gets launched like 12 squares backwards. He somehow manages to survive without losing any limbs (although they are all shredded) and is completely healed after a single night in the medical wing. I very quickly changed his priorities to crafting...
I thought rocket launchers were always single use?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TitaniumTurtle on April 29, 2015, 07:43:07 PM
I thought rocket launchers were always single use?

Yeah, I wasnt sure. I thought so too, but Im pretty sure he fired it at least once before that, and the raider I took it from fired it once. Unless Im somehow mistaken. I think maybe 3 times, because just before I gave it to him it was at 66%. Im not exactly sure if thats at all what the percentage represents, but that would have been the third shot so it makes sense to me.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaplain on April 29, 2015, 09:21:44 PM
got a weird glitch (reported earlier) where the hunters were always going into point blank range when hunting like they were executing the critter.  I noticed this pretty quick but as I'm watching my hunter (same co-worker from above lol) just walks right up next to a boomrat and before I realize what she was doing she aims her survival rifle at and plugs it.  It immediately explodes and she of course catches fire running around panicking.  Something tells me she's going to be unwilling to re-enact this one even if I provided the lighter fluid.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TitaniumTurtle on April 29, 2015, 09:54:51 PM
got a weird glitch (reported earlier) where the hunters were always going into point blank range when hunting like they were executing the critter.  I noticed this pretty quick but as I'm watching my hunter (same co-worker from above lol) just walks right up next to a boomrat and before I realize what she was doing she aims her survival rifle at and plugs it.  It immediately explodes and she of course catches fire running around panicking.  Something tells me she's going to be unwilling to re-enact this one even if I provided the lighter fluid.

So after my own debacle with this I did some digging and figured something out. They cant shoot through the personal shield, so if they are wearing one they have to shoot from point blank otherwise their own shield will block the shot. You probably have shields on all of your hunters. Thats why the only raiders with shield use melee weapons.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaplain on May 02, 2015, 11:28:42 PM
Opened up a ruin accidentally while digging in a mountain and got lucky that nothing immediately attacked me and I'm all like, "Hmmmm... Let's take this opportunity and get ready for all hell to break loose.  For context my last two ruins were:

1)  A room full of corpses and very much active scythers.  More bodies were added.

2)  A room with only one scyther (DIE! DIE! DIE!!!) and a bunch of still sealed pods.  Unsealed one and it began to look like a scene out The Mummy with mega scarabs everywhere.  Many bodies and enough meat to last the winter.

So I setup a bunker on one of the room with embrasures, auto guns, and a vulcan cannon just for good measure.  Got all the colonists into combat gear and armed to the teeth before setting them into cover.

With everything set I took my least valuable colonist and ordered him to open a pod preparing for death, screaming, shooting and general mayhem.

1 dead and 5 unconscious cryptosleepers.  Whelp.  Crap.  I guess I can at least shoot the dead one with the vulcan instead of burning him!  WAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wulfik on May 09, 2015, 08:25:20 PM
My funniest thing so far happaned few hours ago before this post. Started a new colony, no problems but i sacrificed guns and resources for more colonists ( Prepare carefully ) and then it happaned, visitors just passing by well equiped ( while my guys are cloth shirts only + few medicines and bunch of food ) entered area passed by and stayed at the edge of the map. Didnt know why but then i found  out one of them had Dementia if I remember correctly, made him super slow. By the time he got to them they starved to death. Wasnt mad, got free ( good ) loot of armor and weapons. Later on got eaten by crazy animals. It was a good day.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Grubfist on May 15, 2015, 04:28:07 AM
I had a tortoise go mad shortly after starting my Rimworld adventure. I told my knife guy to attack it and it bit his hand off and incapacitated him. My scientist shot it to death with her pistol while my 4th colonist, a 79 year old nudist woman with dementia, rescued the young handless lad and got her toe bitten off in the process.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: NeoDunce on May 21, 2015, 10:58:22 PM
The moment when, recently, I was cleaning up after dealing with an evil ship that had spat 5 centipedes, I heard an explosion in the distance.  NO! I think to the screen as I frantically zoom and pan for all my colonies worth, I SWEAR I KILLED THEM ALL. After much flicking between colonists, pausing and unpausing, I discovered the source of the noise. One of my colonists had taken it upon himself to 'hunt' an incapacitated boar with frag grenades. I watched in horror as he launched a frag grenade but feet in front of him, winced as the grenade exploded, and recoiled as shrapnel must of flew past his uncaring face. My colonist just stared at me the whole, he didn't even flinch.  Damn Luddite Rebels.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: killer117 on May 22, 2015, 09:29:12 AM
My funniest momment was when in my first rimworld colony i had my best of my original colinists. I had given him my gamertag (which is now a sort of tradition, i have one guy in every colony with my name) this guy was my best fighter and builder. I hadnt played very long and hard was still on the first 3 colinists. But then a raid attacks. So i send my guys out, and with mostly luck mannage to fight them off. But my best fighter (me) took a sniper round to the face. He was ok, he had armor so he wasnt too bad. So i rescue him and its all good. But then 2 mins later i get told my colinist has died. Now hed lost an arm to the sniper, so i had ordered my medic to give him my first bionic. But then the really crappy doctpr killed my best guy when somehow surgery failed horribly while operating on his ARM and his stomach was destroyed but surgical cuts, along with a kidney and his liver. I just sat there for a moment, and rage quit imedietly
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on May 25, 2015, 12:38:34 AM
The moment when, recently, I was cleaning up after dealing with an evil ship that had spat 5 centipedes, I heard an explosion in the distance.  NO! I think to the screen as I frantically zoom and pan for all my colonies worth, I SWEAR I KILLED THEM ALL. After much flicking between colonists, pausing and unpausing, I discovered the source of the noise. One of my colonists had taken it upon himself to 'hunt' an incapacitated boar with frag grenades. I watched in horror as he launched a frag grenade but feet in front of him, winced as the grenade exploded, and recoiled as shrapnel must of flew past his uncaring face. My colonist just stared at me the whole, he didn't even flinch.  Damn Luddite Rebels.
He's the kind of guy that'll go fishing with an RPG and a bucket to scoop up the pieces... They just don't give a damn.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on May 25, 2015, 09:31:39 AM
The moment when, recently, I was cleaning up after dealing with an evil ship that had spat 5 centipedes, I heard an explosion in the distance.  NO! I think to the screen as I frantically zoom and pan for all my colonies worth, I SWEAR I KILLED THEM ALL. After much flicking between colonists, pausing and unpausing, I discovered the source of the noise. One of my colonists had taken it upon himself to 'hunt' an incapacitated boar with frag grenades. I watched in horror as he launched a frag grenade but feet in front of him, winced as the grenade exploded, and recoiled as shrapnel must of flew past his uncaring face. My colonist just stared at me the whole, he didn't even flinch.  Damn Luddite Rebels.
He's the kind of guy that'll go fishing with an RPG and a bucket to scoop up the pieces... They just don't give a damn.
Aye, but having said that the flip side is he's the kind of guy that has the fish cooked before you scoop up the pieces with the bucket doing it that way ]; )
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listy on May 25, 2015, 02:13:58 PM
Got a rhinoceros revenge incident. My Hunter had dinged the Rhino from long range with his sniper rifle. The closest colonist to the Rhino was cloud-watching, and got a rampaging Rhino trample on him.

But he just lay there, he was VERY determined to watch those clouds. You can just imagine him turning to the Rhino "Excuse me! "ou're blocking that very curious Cumulonimbus cloud!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on May 25, 2015, 02:25:49 PM
Haha yeah I had the very same experience, angry squirrel meets cloudwatcher, the critter is doing his worst and my colonist isnt even fazed, hes like "bugger off, bother someone else"  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Adamiks on May 25, 2015, 06:05:44 PM
I carefully, and expensively, build up a stash of emergency rations in case of dire need ... then my "visitors" decide to help themselves to the lot of it.

If you put your ear up close to the image, you can just about hear me scream "NOOOOOOoOoOOoooooooo!!!!"

I don't feel so bad about walling them off in a giant tomb now.

Do you spawned them? I just don't believe... I don't believe in hundreds of visitors eating your foods :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Devon_v on May 25, 2015, 06:15:42 PM
Funny strange, not funny haha, but in my very first game a mad cobra somehow broke down a steel door. It was very mad, apparently. It used to live on the other side of the map, but darn if it wasn't certain that it needed to slither a mile and break down a door to attack someone it had never met.

Very next game, the one I'm playing now, a naked, 74 year old genetically engineered sex slave wanders into my camp and asks to stay. She's a great cook and a wiz at socializing. She's almost convinced the psychotic assassin who thought charging a turret with a shiv was a brilliant idea and somehow lived to kill things for us instead.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Adamiks on May 25, 2015, 06:25:36 PM
Very next game, the one I'm playing now, a naked, 74 year old genetically engineered sex slave wanders into my camp and asks to stay. She's a great cook and a wiz at socializing. She's almost convinced the psychotic assassin who thought charging a turret with a shiv was a brilliant idea and somehow lived to kill things for us instead.

My god. I'm laughing now ;D She must be very hot (because she is naked ;D ;D) or just someone like "very, very old womens" ::)

I'm creating a quote from this ;D

EDIT
Max characters - 300 :'( :'(
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listy on May 25, 2015, 06:51:04 PM
Very next game, the one I'm playing now, a naked, 74 year old genetically engineered sex slave wanders into my camp and asks to stay. She's a great cook and a wiz at socializing. She's almost convinced the psychotic assassin who thought charging a turret with a shiv was a brilliant idea and somehow lived to kill things for us instead.

Once had a bloke show up asking to join my Colony. He was wearing a flasher mac, a cowboy hat and nowt else. His name was "Tosser". The mind boggles what happened.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Frankenbeasley on May 29, 2015, 09:59:48 AM
Alphonse the Abrasive Herbalist - I captured him during a recent raid where he got his leg blown off. I don't recruit anyone with an Abrasive trait so I did what I normally do: patched him up, fitted a peg leg, and released him. He gets about 50 metres from the gates when I can only assume his abrasive nature really shows and he kicks a squirrel to death before trogging on.

A short while later, during a periodic zoom in to the colony, I hear a bit of thumping and squeaking taking place. On panning round, I find Alphonse, near the edge of the map, standing over the corpse of another squirrel and then, for no apparent reason, he gets into a fistfight with a nearby boomrat, kicks it to death, and promptly dies in the subsequent explosion.

I'm still enjoying the joy buff that gave me.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Adamiks on May 29, 2015, 10:20:51 AM
Alphonse the Abrasive Herbalist - I captured him during a recent raid where he got his leg blown off. I don't recruit anyone with an Abrasive trait so I did what I normally do: patched him up, fitted a peg leg, and released him. He gets about 50 metres from the gates when I can only assume his abrasive nature really shows and he kicks a squirrel to death before trogging on.

A short while later, during a periodic zoom in to the colony, I hear a bit of thumping and squeaking taking place. On panning round, I find Alphonse, near the edge of the map, standing over the corpse of another squirrel and then, for no apparent reason, he gets into a fistfight with a nearby boomrat, kicks it to death, and promptly dies in the subsequent explosion.

I'm still enjoying the joy buff that gave me.

He was so mad ;D

I will remember *looking for name of this colonist*... Alphonse the Abrasive Herbalist.... *RIP*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: swordsman300 on May 30, 2015, 11:05:21 PM
Kept randomizing character sheets until I had a nudist colony; within 2 minutes of being in-game, one of my colonists walks between my hunter and the squirrel he's shooting. I'm immediately horrified when I see the shot hits. Then I become more horrified as the person falls over and the word "HEADSHOT!" pops above her head. I check where he hit; He took her skull down to 1 health.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bohb Daishi on May 31, 2015, 01:08:59 AM
That time I loaded up an old save and I had 27 dead bodies in the freezer but I don't remember why.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Adamiks on May 31, 2015, 09:48:51 AM
That time I loaded up an old save and I had 27 dead bodies in the freezer but I don't remember why.

Magic of Rimworld.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: PotatoOnStick on May 31, 2015, 10:00:53 AM
I remember playing and one of my guys had lost a leg and was incapacitated in his bed. So after i realized this i gave him a peg leg. Which is all well and all until i realized my colonist chopped off the good leg and put a peg leg on that... To this very day he still walks around now with two peg legs.  :-\
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on June 01, 2015, 12:28:17 PM
^ Was that player error, or a bad doctor?

Either way:
(http://img.pandawhale.com/22215-Picard-double-facepalm-meme-wh-Tx3k.jpeg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: PotatoOnStick on June 02, 2015, 11:51:10 AM
^ Was that player error, or a bad doctor?

to keep it simple a player error i was trying to be quick about it, yet it kinda costed me...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tcsisek on June 02, 2015, 10:30:53 PM
This is my first "Funny" moment I've had so far.

Earlier today, I got two visitors. When they were leaving a squirrel went
berserk and attacked them, the first visitor went to attack the squirrel with a club. After one hit that slowed the squirrel significantly, he was shot in the back twice by his friend incapacitating him. For the next 20 or so seconds the second visitor sat shooting everything but the squirrel that was limping towards her. Eventually, she acidently shot a boomrat next to the squirrel killing the squirrel, a wild boar, her incapacitated freind, and nearly taking out one of my buildings.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Grubfist on June 04, 2015, 12:52:04 AM
Today I had two "interesting" events happen.

First, a pirate in a siege camp went berserk. Another pirate shot him with a Triple Rocket Launcher, killing 3 other pirates who were trying to beat him down.

Second, my sniper tried to shoot a pirate who was attacking a member of an Outlander town. He missed, but hit the Outlander, shooting his head off.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Technical Ben on June 04, 2015, 03:36:30 PM
I may have given a rocket launcher to my soldier... who is also a hunter... after I designated a pack of deer to hunt.

I was NOT expecting that. Whooops.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cappy on June 05, 2015, 12:54:58 PM
My funniest experience was when I got a huge raid of stabbing people, so I called for reinforcements. The faction called in one dude. He killed 4/5 raiders and incapped another. Best part his name is Big D. Couldn't stop think "Big dick, Big Killer"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on June 07, 2015, 08:12:59 PM
When my potato plants were Resting. It actually said that on the little pop-up.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lady Wolf on June 09, 2015, 04:06:20 AM
My funniest one so far was in the early stages of a new game when a squirrel got into my freezer and began chowing down on my hard cooked meals; so I did the reasonable thing and designated it to be hunted.

This seemed like a bright idea right up until the second it turned out to be a boom rat and my colonist shivved it to death, and the resulting explosion took out the freezer, (only wood walls) most of the food, and blew off my colonists right ear, left eye, and gave him plenty of injuries to the torso as well as a shredded head.

But it doesn't end there, I send the colonist to the med-bed to be treated, and the highest skilled doc (an 84 yr old nervous neurotic with dementia and a 2 for doctoring) somehow manages to cut off the guys leg while treating him, but hey, he survived. (if you can call it that)

Not having much use for a immobile colonist I tell the same senile doc to use our only remaining medkit to install a peg leg for the gent, resulting in a shiny new prosthetic... and a missing arm.

Not long after this Doc "cutter" wound up tunneling into a mechanoid stronghold while digging some more colony rooms, and the resulting "situation" mercifully brought about a quick end to the group before the poor patient managed to regain consciousness.

The only thing I can figure is the old guy kept forgetting what he was doing in the middle of the surgery and changed the procedure on the fly, or maybe his former job was a butcher?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jhennice18 on June 09, 2015, 08:53:04 AM
 8)boomrat going nuts. it really cracks me! oh and also i love how enemies run whenever they fail a raid! run cowards!! 8)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on June 09, 2015, 07:20:14 PM
They run whenever they win, too, and aren't even decent enough to mercy-kill the incapacitated colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lady Wolf on June 10, 2015, 08:04:29 AM
Another amusing one today, I started a new colony on a large map and had things were going well, and had one of the three out hunting (on the far side of the map, the second mining silver far down south with the third guy constructing the base.

Things seem to be going well as he's installing coolers in the bedrooms due to the recent heat wave (using the traditional method of building them into walls and leaving an empty block behind the cooler for the heat to dump into.) I'm paying more attention to the miner until i get the notification one of my colonists needs treatment.

I check around and it seems the genius builder walled himself in behind the cooler and passed out from heatstroke when the 1x1 area reached 311+ F.

By the time my other two workers get home poor smitty is long since expired.

Sadly enough the steel is so scarce ont he map I can't immediately afford to disassemble the cooler to bury the poor sod, so he quietly moulders behind the wall for several months and I decide to turn the room into the jail instead given the aroma in there was likely anything but floral.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: snipes on June 10, 2015, 09:19:58 AM
poor guy hopefully he doesn't start haunting the colony.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on June 11, 2015, 02:49:53 PM
I had someone who once built themselves into a room and then I was wondering why it said 1 colonists idle. Another time, some fool replaced the door to a room with a wall, and the person whose bedroom that was kept sleeping in the freezer. Not once, but for several nights. I kept yelling at him and then I realized what happened.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodog999 on June 13, 2015, 12:26:10 PM
THIS! IS! MODDED! RIMWORLD!

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A Friend on June 13, 2015, 11:51:22 PM
Steel Large Sculpture (good)

...

Title: Happiness

"This sculpture depicts Tranca Chinchilla enveloped by flame while attempting to disrobe on Dec. 1, 5501. Her mouth is open as she screams for help. There is a hippopotamus in the lower part of the image."

...

2Deep4Me
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DDawgSierra on June 14, 2015, 08:25:15 AM
That time I loaded up an old save and I had 27 dead bodies in the freezer but I don't remember why.

Magic of Rimworld.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MarcTheMerc on June 15, 2015, 07:30:56 PM
Like most stories it begins with visitors. earlier today i had a visiter arrive claiming to help my colony when it was in "dire need" the raid was defeated five minutes ago. i still followed her so she can play valiant hero of my colony... she walked into my prison and tossed a frag grenade.


She killed my warden  :-\
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chaouki on June 16, 2015, 01:26:47 AM
Like most stories it begins with visitors. earlier today i had a visiter arrive claiming to help my colony when it was in "dire need" the raid was defeated five minutes ago. i still followed her so she can play valiant hero of my colony... she walked into my prison and tossed a frag grenade.


She killed my warden  :-\

Oh my god, that's annoying and hilarious at the same time. Maybe you shouldn't clothe your warden in the same clothing as the evil prisoners? I guess she wanted to take all those hungry mouths off you and provide you with some human snacks :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FlorenceTWA on June 16, 2015, 06:07:39 AM
Playing the game on challenge difficulty, ice sheet map, using just 2 EDB-well-prepared badass characters (both psychopath and good shooters, considered a couple in my playthrough ;D) instead of 3, saving me enough points to get them highest skill levels possible; selling every other newbie/prisoner as organs; trying to keep the place running with just these two, no mortar and no kill-box strategy. S/L allowed because I'd LOVE to keep them alive and well, despite how they have to kill mobs all by themselves one bullet after another.

One day a warg pack came... 19 of them :o, I have a few seconds to drag them out of bed and go out and kill them before they get too close and destroy my (badly placed) few turrets. But of course with the speed of the wargs, my little psychopaths just can't kill that many, with just a charge rifle, a sniper rifle, and a pointless EMP grenade. :-\

So, in the end...

One of them stood right in front of the gate with his sniper rifle
And the other boldly stepped out, whistled to the wargs, and RAN FOR HER LIFE in a big circle followed by the whole pack, trusting the few turrets and her partner to pick off the wargs one by one

Never would have worked if I hadn't exchanged countless lungs/kidneys/hearts/livers for a whole set of bionic parts for them within the past two years! ;D And on second thought I should have let her take off her parka as well... Been living on ice sheet for so long that I forgot it hinders running speed. :P

Still! My heroine only suffered a tiny scratch on her ear. 8)

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: shenzya on June 19, 2015, 02:52:49 PM
hospitality huh ? :o

http://i.imgur.com/VoXMKEt.jpg
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Axelios on June 23, 2015, 01:27:02 AM
hospitality huh ? :o

http://i.imgur.com/VoXMKEt.jpg

This was pretty darn funny :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pigman999999999 on June 24, 2015, 02:19:01 PM
A second Evil ship came down i was just taking it on like normal i probably had to go back to about 4 saves before one of my conlisted died  so after about 2 retreats and the centipede was walking around the ship sent out a something to make all the animals mad they got mad about 2 rhinos 5 boomrats and 3 boars and 2 squirrels just sawed the centipede noked it out with one fist punch left then my retarded 8 sentries and 10 conlist just wrecked them then i took my one of 3 snipers to go take care of the ship and centipede
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kelian on July 03, 2015, 03:01:43 PM
Only YOU can prevent forest fires. Controlled burn experiment at first... kind of got out of hand by the time the rain had finally shown up. Notice how new trees and grass had already set up shop behind the fire line maybe 60-90 sec after the initial wave of flames passed.

(http://i.imgur.com/qft9j94.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Axelios on July 03, 2015, 05:35:04 PM
That's incredible. And it inspires me to defend myself in foresty zones with a fireproof concrete border around my base, and teams of molotov throwers.

"We got raiders boss!"

"Alright Fire Team go! Set up that firewall!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kelian on July 06, 2015, 12:50:26 PM
That's incredible. And it inspires me to defend myself in foresty zones with a fireproof concrete border around my base, and teams of molotov throwers.

"We got raiders boss!"

"Alright Fire Team go! Set up that firewall!"


It worked. Knocked out the raiders mortars, detonated their artillery shells killing two, burned all the corpses and left behind apparel, weapons... Very tidy. All from the comfort of the base.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: nwhite224 on July 07, 2015, 04:50:03 PM
"Funniest" thing that's happened to me: 
Doing a solo start, using prepare carefully, on Randy extreme as a challenge with my friend
Spend about 15 minutes finding a good spawn and creating a beast character
Load into the world, tell him to go equip his survival rifle
Dry thunderstorm happens, WTF randy
Character gets struck by lightning on his way to the rifle and dies
FML
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kelian on July 07, 2015, 06:32:47 PM
"Funniest" thing that's happened to me: 
Doing a solo start, using prepare carefully, on Randy extreme as a challenge with my friend
Spend about 15 minutes finding a good spawn and creating a beast character
Load into the world, tell him to go equip his survival rifle
Dry thunderstorm happens, WTF randy
Character gets struck by lightning on his way to the rifle and dies
FML

Damn lol. Trolled by Randy.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Evanf32 on July 10, 2015, 06:26:10 PM
Not too long ago I had a colonist get her right foot shot off. We made her a wooden replacement, and had our best doctor get to work on her. Suddenly I get the message that the surgery was a catastrophic failure. I check on her health tab to see what happened. Somehow our brilliant doctor managed to cut her eye out, among other cuts all over her body. What the heck happened? How do you fail so bad that you accidentally cut out her eye ball when all you had to do was stick a stump on her stump!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Evanf32 on July 10, 2015, 08:12:58 PM
I had just survived a big raid from tribals. They managed to kill a few of my colonists and destroyed most my defences. In the aftermath many of the tribals were downed laying in front of my base. I wasn't worried about them, I was trying to rebuild and tend to my own people. Quite a few had bad injuries and 2 of my remaining 5 were incapped. Then another raider party shows up. About 20 of them. All with pretty decent weapons, armor and stats.
This is the end if my colony. I recruit everyone who can still stand and get them in defensive positions. There's no hope our 3 cripples and turrets can fight them off. The raiders make it one step within our firing range and I get a message. "pirates from deathwatch have decided to capture who they can and leave".

They started picking up all the tribals and just wandered off. I can only imagine the conversation they had.

"well. Hey, we were going to destroy those colonist bastards but there was a bunch of tribals just.. Laying there. We couldn't NOT take them."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mr.Cross on July 10, 2015, 09:25:13 PM
Now that is a Lucky break XD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: theapolaustic1 on July 12, 2015, 08:29:35 AM
I had just survived a big raid from tribals. They managed to kill a few of my colonists and destroyed most my defences. In the aftermath many of the tribals were downed laying in front of my base. I wasn't worried about them, I was trying to rebuild and tend to my own people. Quite a few had bad injuries and 2 of my remaining 5 were incapped. Then another raider party shows up. About 20 of them. All with pretty decent weapons, armor and stats.
This is the end if my colony. I recruit everyone who can still stand and get them in defensive positions. There's no hope our 3 cripples and turrets can fight them off. The raiders make it one step within our firing range and I get a message. "pirates from deathwatch have decided to capture who they can and leave".

They started picking up all the tribals and just wandered off. I can only imagine the conversation they had.

"well. Hey, we were going to destroy those colonist bastards but there was a bunch of tribals just.. Laying there. We couldn't NOT take them."

Two other interpretations that I like:
"Ha! They know we're so badass, they don't even want to fight. They're giving us prisoners as tribute!"
"Holy shit, they just wiped out all of these people and left the wounded out to die... Let's not mess with them, let's just take these guys and go. I don't want to die."
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ComradeKhan on July 17, 2015, 04:23:34 AM
After a difficult start on a boreal map and many, many psychotic breaks, my original three colonists had finally made through to the next summer.

One colonist was in a particularly bad way. She was neurotic, and quite prone to breaks, especially during the winter where it dropped to -60 Celsius during the cold snaps. She'd lost a leg to a grenade, but thankfully, she was my craftswoman and didn't have to hobble very far from her bed to to her workstation on her peg leg. She had served a few stints in prison for her breaks, but had always come out and worked again after a few days of cooldown.

But, through blood, sweat and toil, things were looking up. Storage was full of potatoes from the fields and meat from a recent shipment, a housing complex was in place and she had her own well decorated, relatively spacious room, and she had just got a prothesis installed on her leg.

I imagine as she lay down on her bed that summer night and let out a relaxing sigh, she would have said to herself, "Maybe everything won't be so bad after all?" Maybe she even got to close her eyes and drift off to sleep for a few minutes before the cargo pods filled with over 300 chunks of human flesh smashed through her roof and sprayed bloodily all over the room.

The next day she would go berserk after it turned out the chef had served her up some of that very same meat in her dinner. She would kill her other companion before getting eviscerated by the chef's shotgun, but not before leaving him with fatal wounds that would cause him his death.

Thus ended the colony of Greenwood. People still sing of it's downfall, a bloody tale of toil, despair, hope, and a cautionary tale of how you shouldn't eat whatever strange flesh falls from orbit into your bedroom.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Segrog on July 20, 2015, 01:22:14 AM
[quote author=ComradeKhan link=topic=5192.msg151656#msg151656 date=
Thus ended the colony of Greenwood. People still sing of it's downfall, a bloody tale of toil, despair, hope, and a cautionary tale of how you shouldn't eat whatever strange flesh falls from orbit into your bedroom.
[/quote]

Wow, too good. Just incredible. Applause to you and your psycho colonists.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pigman999999999 on July 22, 2015, 05:40:33 PM
i captured someone i didt want him and no slave trader so i thougt why not have some fun so i let him go then i  recapture him and 3 more times i recaped him then i got a raid and i did that tougth the raid and then i caped him when was 10 spacesaway from geting away then when i let him go sure engho a slave trader came ah why you hate me game.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: AllenWL on July 24, 2015, 11:35:44 PM
I started up a colony of nudist cannibals at a jungle, and while making the bedrooms, I  found that a cobra had gotten locked inside the room of a colonist I decided would be the 'leader' of the group. Who was in the room. And praying. And the cobra was in front of her. And it was staying still.
Yes, the leader of the colony was kneeling down in prayer to a cobra. And that cobra was listing to her prayers.

In a snap designation, I decided that my colony of cannibals will worship cobras as a deity, and the cobra messiah who gave us this message is now worshiped as a holy animal, and lives in comfort with the colony leader, giving her words of wisdom and eating rice.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Zork on July 25, 2015, 12:39:33 AM
my mercenary colonist named justinian, armed with an anti materiel rifle (mod) and combat helmet and armor, beaten to death by a deer in the shadows of a mine.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MarvinKosh on July 26, 2015, 02:02:06 AM
Wargs are tricky beasts to deal with, so when a pack of them ran onto the map I locked the doors and decided to wait for them to move on.

Thing is though, it seems that they're not fond of extreme cold, and since I'm in the middle of a volcanic winter it wasn't long before they all flopped down and died of hypothermia.

Free meat and fur! :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on July 27, 2015, 05:34:13 AM
Spot how I derped ...

(http://i.imgur.com/SKOyV5n.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shinzy on July 27, 2015, 07:58:02 AM
wasting all your metal on hydroponics? :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on July 27, 2015, 11:59:57 AM
Trying to plant steel in the hope of growing a steel plant?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on July 27, 2015, 01:18:56 PM
In my defence the ground was covered in snow when I put down the hydroponic plans ...

Ignore the fact that soil is often found beneath snow.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: AllenWL on July 27, 2015, 07:48:01 PM
Oh, you thought it was stone/ice/something plants don't grow on when you started making plans, and put up hydroponics to grow stuff on? Just plant something like rice on there.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A1win on July 28, 2015, 07:33:16 PM
I was new to RimWorld (less than a couple of weeks ago), streaming on Twitch, on one of my first Ice Sheet colonies on Randy Extreme. I didn't have a good idea on how to deal with the Evil Ship (previously I had just shot it a couple of times and let animals deal with the mechs, but no animals on ice sheet...). I got this crazy idea of surrounding the ship with a very tight wall with a 1-tile gap and inner walls so that when the mechs spawn, they spawn into these separate 1-tile "rooms" around the ship and I can just destroy the ship, if I get lucky enough. So this is what happens:

Err, I forget how it ends, so let's just say everyone lived happily ever after (at least until the next set of events that Randy threw at us).
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on July 29, 2015, 01:29:15 PM
What version are you playing?  I thought that a roof won't form over the crashed ship part anymore...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A1win on July 29, 2015, 02:28:00 PM
This was on A11b. It obviously is an exploit, but I was completely unaware of its existence at the time.

Then there's the exploit where you can enclose the ship with a gapless wall and damage the ship with grenades, causing the spawn event to occur without acatually spawning any mechs. This exploit is much more serious than the roof collapse one, since at least when the roof collapses, you don't get any loot.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Segrog on July 30, 2015, 12:56:16 AM
It was winter, and all the muffalo were starving because there was no grass or bushes. Suddenly some cargo pods dropped and they were filled with chocolate. "Cool," I thought to myself, "I'll haul the chocolate back to my base." but before I could even select a colonist, a herd of 6 or so muffalo sprinted over to the chocolate and just DEVOURED all of it. There was one muffalo, how ever, that got no chocolate because he was so slow. Then, I got an alert. "A local muffalo has gone mad!" turns out, it was the same muffalo that got no chocolate. I just imagine him being like "REALLY? YOU DIDN'T SAVE ME ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE?" to his friends and then being so mad he just went insane.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on July 30, 2015, 06:34:33 AM
It was winter, and all the muffalo were starving because there was no grass or bushes. Suddenly some cargo pods dropped and they were filled with chocolate. "Cool," I thought to myself, "I'll haul the chocolate back to my base." but before I could even select a colonist, a herd of 6 or so muffalo sprinted over to the chocolate and just DEVOURED all of it. There was one muffalo, how ever, that got no chocolate because he was so slow. Then, I got an alert. "A local muffalo has gone mad!" turns out, it was the same muffalo that got no chocolate. I just imagine him being like "REALLY? YOU DIDN'T SAVE ME ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE?" to his friends and then being so mad he just went insane.
lol

Something similar happened to me. Middle of winter and I purchased a ton of chocolate from a trader then forgot about it while I did other stuff. I happened to scroll back to the exterior trading beacon and saw that a squirrel had eaten half of it. Chocolate seems to count as food for animals but offers very little in the way of hunger satisfaction so the squirrel was chain-eating all my chocolate. Naturally I was all NOOOoooOoooOOOooo! My chocolate! And ordered a nearby colonist to shoot the stupid thing.

I sat there for what must have been about a minute or two watching the squirrel eat my chocolate while the colonist was constantly shooting at and missing the target. Eventually I had to order the colonist to club the stupid squirrel to death with his gun just to save what little chocolate remained.

Only about a quarter of the original amount of chocolate was saved.

I hate squirrels.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Haecriver on August 07, 2015, 03:28:46 PM
My best shooter (lvl 15) is a 50 year old medieval lord.
His statistics are the best of my colonists and he has a good sniper.
But I've never see him succeed at shooting and during the last hunting expedition, he just shot off the leg of one of my innocent colonist.
Now is known as "Lord Cataract"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mr.Night on August 14, 2015, 12:35:30 AM
Install peg leg, doctor has medicine level of 9 i think (or somewhere there abouts) see surgery failed in a minor way (think to my self okay so he got cut, we are on a ice sheet i cant spare medicine for this) take a look HIS SPINE WAS REMOVED. how do you even... well i guess we need to do one more bill, may as well euthanize him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Warriser on August 14, 2015, 07:25:08 AM
It was winter, and all the muffalo were starving because there was no grass or bushes. Suddenly some cargo pods dropped and they were filled with chocolate. "Cool," I thought to myself, "I'll haul the chocolate back to my base." but before I could even select a colonist, a herd of 6 or so muffalo sprinted over to the chocolate and just DEVOURED all of it. There was one muffalo, how ever, that got no chocolate because he was so slow. Then, I got an alert. "A local muffalo has gone mad!" turns out, it was the same muffalo that got no chocolate. I just imagine him being like "REALLY? YOU DIDN'T SAVE ME ANY FUCKING CHOCOLATE?" to his friends and then being so mad he just went insane.
lol

Something similar happened to me. Middle of winter and I purchased a ton of chocolate from a trader then forgot about it while I did other stuff. I happened to scroll back to the exterior trading beacon and saw that a squirrel had eaten half of it. Chocolate seems to count as food for animals but offers very little in the way of hunger satisfaction so the squirrel was chain-eating all my chocolate. Naturally I was all NOOOoooOoooOOOooo! My chocolate! And ordered a nearby colonist to shoot the stupid thing.

I sat there for what must have been about a minute or two watching the squirrel eat my chocolate while the colonist was constantly shooting at and missing the target. Eventually I had to order the colonist to club the stupid squirrel to death with his gun just to save what little chocolate remained.

Only about a quarter of the original amount of chocolate was saved.

I hate squirrels.
I had a similar thing happen while using the Overhaul Pack. It was the dead of winter then tequila fell from space. Well I sent my grumpy hungry colonists to go get it, only to watch a Rimwolf and Hare get blackout drunk....
While my colonists were sad I saw it as free meat and booze.
Win Win
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Segrog on August 14, 2015, 05:03:29 PM
Install peg leg, doctor has medicine level of 9 i think (or somewhere there abouts) see surgery failed in a minor way (think to my self okay so he got cut, we are on a ice sheet i cant spare medicine for this) take a look HIS SPINE WAS REMOVED. how do you even... well i guess we need to do one more bill, may as well euthanize him.
Rip in peace
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on August 17, 2015, 01:16:43 PM
(http://wstaw.org/m/2015/08/17/AI_programmer_chief.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: CB elite on August 17, 2015, 01:43:41 PM
> Sapper throwing grenades at wall
> Walls finally break
> Marshal with shotgun shoots sapper as soon as he walks through hole in wall
> Rest of raiders flee instantly
>  8)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TheDirge on August 19, 2015, 08:28:50 AM
Seeing a visitor get hit by lightning

He survived barely
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Jorlem on August 19, 2015, 08:51:36 PM
Was waiting out a warg attack during a toxic fallout volcanic winter.  Then I got this popup:


(http://i.imgur.com/ZEeqFsR.png) (http://imgur.com/ZEeqFsR)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: A Friend on August 22, 2015, 01:30:16 AM
A minipede being carried along by a colonist.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zcoi1UJ.png)

3 Seconds later...

(http://i.imgur.com/eF0mHHu.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pigman999999999 on August 22, 2015, 11:19:37 PM
romatic music with a lamma in the back round do i need to go any further
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pigman999999999 on August 22, 2015, 11:23:07 PM
*Alpaca
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on August 23, 2015, 07:13:43 AM
(http://wstaw.org/m/2015/08/17/AI_programmer_chief.png)

Sweet merciful void gods... The tribes... They're just more mechanoids...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kahlzun on August 23, 2015, 08:55:23 AM
Sweet merciful void gods... The tribes... They're just more mechanoids...
I dont get it, sorry..
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on August 24, 2015, 10:08:45 AM
Colony attacked by enraged Hares. I defended force firing colonist at the only gap in my base, One got through the hail of bullets and mauled my only +3 doctor in the face causing mass bleeding. The doctor died later on because of poor medical treatment and my colony feasted on Hare and Rice fine meals for a few months :3
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on August 25, 2015, 03:05:07 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/ZiHxNL4.png)

"A pack of man-hunting elephants have entered the area. They will roam the region, hunting for humanoid flesh." This sounds more terrifying than wargs!

Fortunately, it looks like a pack of elephants is only two elephants. This should be interesting.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Maria on August 26, 2015, 10:11:40 AM
Elephant pack!
A pack of 9 elephants were heading my way, as a peaceful farmer that is quite the challenge! I quickly forced all my men indoors, with them the most of the trained animals. And I let the elephants roam my barn full of chickens and cows. Sad that I could not save them all I watched as I predicted a chicken massacre!

My Chicken breeding had gotten a littlebit out of hand, so I would guess I had about 300 chicks at the time. A couple of turrets wounded the elephants a little bit before they made their way into the chicken barn. But I would never guess the next move!

The chickens KILLED 3 Elephants! Knocked 2 into shock. Some cows joined in and took care of all but two. And the two left were easy enough for my men to gun down.

As I watched the blood bath that was left in my barn, I saw another unpredicted thing happening: My well trained huskies were hauling elephants away! I would never have guessed they had such powers ;) Haha!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: JimmyAgnt007 on August 26, 2015, 10:14:53 AM
Elephant pack!
A pack of 9 elephants were heading my way, as a peaceful farmer that is quite the challenge! I quickly forced all my men indoors, with them the most of the trained animals. And I let the elephants roam my barn full of chickens and cows. Sad that I could not save them all I watched as I predicted a chicken massacre!

My Chicken breeding had gotten a littlebit out of hand, so I would guess I had about 300 chicks at the time. A couple of turrets wounded the elephants a little bit before they made their way into the chicken barn. But I would never guess the next move!

The chickens KILLED 3 Elephants! Knocked 2 into shock. Some cows joined in and took care of all but two. And the two left were easy enough for my men to gun down.

As I watched the blood bath that was left in my barn, I saw another unpredicted thing happening: My well trained huskies were hauling elephants away! I would never have guessed they had such powers ;) Haha!

Damn, Ive worked with chickens before and I had no idea they were so deadly.  Or that elephants were so frail?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kahlzun on August 26, 2015, 10:23:31 AM
Stunlock. When being melee attacked by more than 3 or 4 things, they cant take an action.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Maria on August 26, 2015, 11:38:18 AM
Stunlock. When being melee attacked by more than 3 or 4 things, they cant take an action.

That would explain it yes! :) Surprisingly amusing to watch :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on August 26, 2015, 05:20:48 PM
Sweet merciful void gods... The tribes... They're just more mechanoids...
I dont get it, sorry..
A tech enthusiast. A proffesional AI programmer. Is a chief of a hostile tribe.

* * *

This picture is full of black humor. Can you tell why ?
(http://wstaw.org/m/2015/08/26/You_missed.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on August 26, 2015, 05:48:27 PM
Steve triggered an IED and the raiders got hit by it?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on August 26, 2015, 05:51:38 PM
No kidding, 24 man-eating muffalos are scary as hell ;D

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on August 26, 2015, 06:16:33 PM
Steve triggered an IED and the raiders got hit by it?
It was a "Colonist calls for help" event. They chased Steve.
Note one of them is carrying a triple rocket launcher. Grigoriy is empty-handed, though. He already used his. It seemed Steve is already doomed. But the rocket hit either one of raiders or a tree! I wasn't looking at the time, I paused as soon as I heard explosions.

The outcome: three raiders dead. One of them was wearing a power helmet. Two had charge rifles. The fourth wasted his weapon. Three more wounded.

And they say skill doesn't matter with Triple Rocket Launcher!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Drakon22 on August 26, 2015, 11:12:38 PM
Probably the funniest was when I decided the room in the mountain couldn't be that bad. So I opened it and... Mechanoids! Lots of them! Slaughtered my colony. All that's left is a bunch of skeletons and some beer...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on August 27, 2015, 02:38:02 AM
"A pack of man-hunting elephants have entered the area. They will roam the region, hunting for humanoid flesh." This sounds more terrifying than wargs!

Fortunately, it looks like a pack of elephants is only two elephants. This should be interesting.
If it comes early enough, the pack contains only one creature even if it's a single warg.

Fortunately they weren't trained in door opening!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Saw Candyman on August 27, 2015, 11:20:17 PM
One time I was getting besieged by four guys with personal shields. I decided to start lobbing my own shells at them, since I had nothing better to do. One guy was just sitting there cloudwatching when he got nailed, 10/10 direct hit by my shell. Not only did it NOT breakthrough the personal shield, but they guy didn't even stop cloudwatching! "Ooh! That one looks like a muffalo!" KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! "And that one looks like a puppy!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lerxst on August 28, 2015, 09:58:37 AM
(http://wstaw.org/m/2015/08/17/AI_programmer_chief.png)

Sweet merciful void gods... The tribes... They're just more mechanoids...

My newest recruit is a Scientist who used to be a technician but can not perform "Intellectual" work...  ???
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pigman999999999 on August 29, 2015, 10:43:55 AM
so i have some mods big big mods i have one op gun and 10 pawns all very well eqiped and a wave of angry turtles came i was yelling the whole time OH NO THERE TO POWER FULL meanwhile they were so slow in 3 speed they couldt get up to the block i made to protect them it was so funny and a sad little babie boar died RIP boar i will not butcher it
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: LoL4mango on August 30, 2015, 05:30:25 PM
this when I could not stop laughing at  ;D ;D
when I see
a lovely drunk camel

(http://www7.0zz0.com/2015/08/31/00/390627581.png) (http://www.0zz0.com)

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lady Wolf on September 02, 2015, 11:37:18 AM
Most recently I had a colony up and running in a jungle zone with high rain, (4111mm a year) and a heat wave was playing hell with my freezer regulation while I trying deal with the aftermath of a raidf. so I quickly threw in a half dozen coolers and set them to -200 something F being in a hurry and promptly forgot about it.

Fast forward a couple days and a group of visitors from Criminologists Rest Stop drop by for a visit, and for some reason a bunch of them decide to take a nap in my freezer. "No big deal I thought, when they get cold they'll wake up and leave."

A couple days later and I notice they're still camped out in the freezer, exploring exciting new careers as meat Popsicle's.

Moral of the story: Sleeping in below zero freezers never ends well.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on September 02, 2015, 01:52:08 PM
^ That's got to be the first time that visitors ever game anything back voluntarily!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on September 02, 2015, 02:57:45 PM
A minipede being carried along by a colonist.
(http://i.imgur.com/Zcoi1UJ.png)

3 Seconds later...

(http://i.imgur.com/eF0mHHu.png)

wait, what, there are baby centipedes?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Cimanyd on September 03, 2015, 02:13:10 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/PMLN9GZ.png)

Alpaca 1 decided to eat a cooked meal for a change.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on September 03, 2015, 06:22:53 AM
My colony is starving to death after i failed to sort enough food for winter fortunately a group of huskies that are familiar to humans appeared ... I had parkas and steak for two weeks only to get killed by my best guy going berserk.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mihsan on September 03, 2015, 08:07:17 AM
This scyther is something like rogue pro-human? Or just stupid?

(http://i.imgur.com/xcK5D0X.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: killer117 on September 03, 2015, 09:17:25 AM
That syther is possibly the worst shot mechanoid ive ever seen in rimworld
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on September 03, 2015, 01:29:28 PM
That syther is possibly the worst shot mechanoid ive ever seen in rimworld

It's just that the AI doesn't check if somebody on the same side is in the way when shooting, which is really annoying.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lady Wolf on September 03, 2015, 10:23:21 PM

It's just that the AI doesn't check if somebody on the same side is in the way when shooting, which is really annoying.

I've noticed that to be a real PITA with animals that rush out to attack in melee, they usually get blown apart by my forces rifle fire and take more damage from friendly fire than the enemy squadrons. (which is why dogs are better as rescuer's than attacks, at least until we can perform surgery to replace missing limbs and such.)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Blackoth on September 04, 2015, 01:16:15 PM
This was a bunch of alphas ago, but my colony was pretty fresh and i had a siege happen. luckily i was mostly tunneled into the mountain already but it was still causing some damage. The problem is that i really didnt have the means to attack them properly so i had to stay inside. Now the funny part comes just before I was gathering up my guys to try to make a desperate attack on the pirates that outnumbered me when another group of visitors came onto the map and came close to the pirate cannons, the pirates turned to the visitors, attacked them, kidnapped them and ran off the map..... I was laughing so hard that i could be that lucky!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on September 04, 2015, 08:12:24 PM
This was a bunch of alphas ago, but my colony was pretty fresh and i had a siege happen. luckily i was mostly tunneled into the mountain already but it was still causing some damage. The problem is that i really didnt have the means to attack them properly so i had to stay inside. Now the funny part comes just before I was gathering up my guys to try to make a desperate attack on the pirates that outnumbered me when another group of visitors came onto the map and came close to the pirate cannons, the pirates turned to the visitors, attacked them, kidnapped them and ran off the map..... I was laughing so hard that i could be that lucky!

^ Attacking Siege + Manhunter Animal (monkeys) event :3
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Simon_The_Space_Engineer on September 05, 2015, 05:11:40 PM
So I was playing around with a mod that added ai and robots to help your colony and I ended up buying a delivery drone (like the ones from Amazon) to move stuff around for me. The first thing it does is pick up and entire chunk of marble that is bigger than the robot itself and fly around like its nothing. Amazon really did make the ultimate delivery drone, NOW BOW DOWN TO YOUR MARBLE CARRYING AMAZON DRONE!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on September 10, 2015, 10:39:23 PM
Sooo... one of my doctors has finally done it. I had a prisoner with a shot of leg so I ordered that he would get a peg leg, one of my best doctors went to work (skill of ~8-9 and yes hes completely healthy)... and I get the message "catastrophic operation failure", so I go and look and see that the friggin doctor ACCIDENTIALLY removed the BRAIN while operating on the LEG. WTF?!  :o
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on September 11, 2015, 10:15:13 AM
Your doctor must have REALLY hated that guy's faction.  "LOL, whoops! Look what I did!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Simon_The_Space_Engineer on September 11, 2015, 05:41:38 PM
That is awesome
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ButteryButters on September 13, 2015, 06:24:19 AM
Most of my funny moments tend to also be gruesome sadly.

One such incident playing with Ultimate Overhaul I rushed to make a flak cannon but gave it my weakest shot. Not long after a raid happens and we beat back the invaders. Only survivor of the raid was a 62 year old man with 2 cataracts, a bad spine, and an old brain injury making him literally useless so I send flakky in to finish him of. 4 shots later I find out he literally shot of all his limbs without killing him at point blank range with a shotgun xD
So now I feel bad so I capture him and doctor him up, giving him steel arms and simple prosthetic legs. Still with that brain injury he can barely get from his room to the dining room and back to his room in a full day. Luckily for me I was swimming in silver from selling an excellent golden grand sculpture so when a prosthetic trader came by I'd buy anything he needed. Soon he was kitted with advanced bionic eyes, legs, arms, and spine. Even with the brain injury he was now able to be helpful.

Now remember Flakky? He has since been relegated to mining constantly. Eventually he broke to heat, exhaustion, hunger, and execution penalty (executed a particularly annoying raider). Guess who stopped Flakky on his rampage? The guy whose limbs he blew off. Now that's what you call ironic xD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on September 21, 2015, 04:52:54 PM
Small update on my "I accidentially removed this guys brain" doctor: He never failed any operation before and after (maybe he just didn't like the guy, but the guy who lost his brain never hurt any of my people...). But 1 day later karma got him: He has now a radiation burn scar on his brain (9/10 hitpoints left but constant high pain. And yes I play modded), which will surely remind him of what he did.  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MultiDavid on September 21, 2015, 05:58:46 PM
So... my 14 animal skill dude somehow tamed a thrumbo at 0% chance, i am unable to post the screenshot but wow.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on September 21, 2015, 07:39:35 PM
So... my 14 animal skill dude somehow tamed a thrumbo at 0% chance, i am unable to post the screenshot but wow.
You can upload to Imgur or another hosting site. :)
That sounds amazing though!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MultiDavid on September 21, 2015, 07:55:31 PM
So... my 14 animal skill dude somehow tamed a thrumbo at 0% chance, i am unable to post the screenshot but wow.
You can upload to Imgur or another hosting site. :)
That sounds amazing though!

https://imgur.com/xXWGMMu

( it doesn't say in there but he was level 14 XD )
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on September 25, 2015, 08:21:26 AM
"A pack of man-hunting elephants have entered the area. They will roam the region, hunting for humanoid flesh." This sounds more terrifying than wargs!

Fortunately, it looks like a pack of elephants is only two elephants. This should be interesting.
If it comes early enough, the pack contains only one creature even if it's a single warg.

Fortunately they weren't trained in door opening!
I had a warg event with over 20 wargs and one guy who kept getting knocked down, recovering, taking 3 steps and getting downed again.
That is how I learned 2 things:
 - Downed pawns can recover on their own.
 - connect your rooms! Everyone went berserk from hunger eventually.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Eike Peace on September 27, 2015, 03:56:34 PM
I just got a Weapon Trader called "New lubricant".

There could be a mistake in the german translation, or we're going to get some Saints Row 3 stuff in here.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Darkfirephoenix on September 27, 2015, 04:10:26 PM
I just got a Weapon Trader called "New lubricant".

There could be a mistake in the german translation, or we're going to get some Saints Row 3 stuff in here.
Did you never encounter "Ludeon Lubricants"? Yes those names are randomly generated, so you can end up with funny names. ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Alitaria on September 27, 2015, 11:31:06 PM
So the other day I had a siege raid, fairly bog standard group. Few pistols, few charge rifles, one or two melee attackers, and a single sniper.
As per the norm I send my best hunter out (Level 20 Shooting, Careful Shooter Trait, 2 Bionic Eyes, 2 Bionic Arms and a Superior Sniper Rifle) - This guy was a monster.
Anyhow I force target their sniper so he could pick the rest off without any returned fire afterwards. He starts shooting, *Bang* *Bang* and the enemy sniper drops he gun...
Confused I check his status and my guy had shot both of his arms off XD
It was beautiful, I ended up just letting that guy live, I'd ruined his day enough
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperkiller on September 28, 2015, 12:42:23 PM
My colonist gave my prisoner a meal then one of my dogs came running up and ate it right in front of him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ButteryButters on September 28, 2015, 11:06:16 PM
So I had another rather funny moment, again with Ultimate overhaul with the GlitterTech patch.

As UTTERLY TIME CONSUMING as it is to make magnetic coils I managed to make a Cruise Missile Turret for the first time. I think ok, explosion can't be that big right? I get raided by Nobals just as a group of Marines and Tribals are leaving. There is only one way into my base as you can see from this picture below. Note this isn't the same save, my old save vanished annoyingly so I used the debug mode to build this day one, using Cybernetic Androids from Prepare Carefully to speed up the hauling and cleaning :P

(http://i1375.photobucket.com/albums/ag460/Buttery_Butters/Base%20Entrance%20Example%20Rimworld_zpsqw6hggxu.jpg)

So imagine two groups of 6 people trying to leave through there at the same time as 12 Norbals rushing my base. A cruise missle goes off automatically once I hit the switch to send it power. Its got I think something like a 12-25 tile radius depending and where it strikes. Half the Norbals go away immediately and suddenly I am immediately hostile to the Marines and Group of tribals that were visiting. And all those turrets (I had more gatling turrets as well as an Avenger in addition to the Browning in my old game) go off on the 12 guys that were in the entrance :P Not long after I get raided twice in quick succession, first the marines then the tribals.

Not sure if a retribution strike is in vanilla or added by a mod but between the Norbals (12), bith groups of visitors (12) the attacking Tribals (16) and the attacking Marines (10) thats 50 men and women killed in the span of 3 game days all because of one completely overpowered cruise missile xD

And the best part? The GlitterTech Cruise Missile Turret uses NO AMMO. So the instant these guys raided me they were greeted by a cruise missile within 60 seconds of being on the map, and it hit half of there groups and wiped them out, 5 marines (3 dead 2 in shock) and 8 tribals (all dead) Unfortunately I forgot to turn it off and it fired at them while they were in my entrance x.x those little SIF shields can't take a cruise missile and it destroyed the roof supports caving in the room xD

My colonist gave my prisoner a meal then one of my dogs came running up and ate it right in front of him.

You have badass dogs my good sir. I don't send my prisoners food c: If I am playing vanilla I kind of have to but in Ultimate Overhaul I put a serving table in the prisoners rooms and set it to receive only Nutrient Paste Meals and Jerky. The only place to cook jerky in UOH is a simple grill. In the Bills I set it so it only cooks jerky from human meat, only cooks 10 of them, and are hauled to the best stockpile which is the serving table. That way there is no chance a colonist will take a human jerky meal, only a prisoner. Sounds sick but damnit Prisoners are expensive to keep when you have 12 of them your trying to sell and harvest from xD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: BetaSpectre on September 29, 2015, 04:16:01 AM
I remember the time I made ship engines inside of mountains alongside my Geo Thermals.
Then 7-8 thick front doors of solid plasteel.

I had one hole connected to the surface laced with turrets and turrety traps.
Each raider group would then drop specifically in the same spot each and every single time, the trade beacon in the hole would then be used right on the spot to send up guns/armor for silver.

I also remember a while back when you could destroy fallen ship parts with wood.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Facepunch on October 02, 2015, 12:36:43 PM
Friendly colony visits me early on, about 15 people total. They ate all my food and my colony starved to death.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on October 03, 2015, 09:52:30 PM
My level 20 doctor, is a bionic masterpiece, she's got a pair of bionic legs to run onto the battlefield and collect the wounded, or run from the medical shed to the hospital to get replacement limbs or meds, with our best shield so she can take as many shots as she has to getting them wounded back to base. Bionic arms so that she can operate on someone with the precision of a laser.

She had never made a mistake in her entire profession as our colony's head surgeon, then one day while replacing a prisoner's missing leg with a piece of wood she slips and accidentally cuts out not one, but both of the patient's lungs, then later that day while operating on someone who had had their stomache blown out (Mods are wonderful. c: ) I noticed that the operation was taking a few hours, so I looked at her tab and surely enough... (http://i.imgur.com/zWP5xRf.png) There she is fallen head first into 'Captain's' guts and snoring away like a baby.

Today was just not Tanya's Day...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jzero on October 05, 2015, 07:58:11 PM
well, this was my first or second colony and i am pretty bad. I had 4 people a refrigerator with about 2 thousand potatoes. it was a normal day until i got a message saying a local squirrel had gone mad. at this point i was still under the impression that i couldn't get screwed over by the character selection screen. So i hadn't looked at what characters i got. sooo this character had dimentia, cataracts and a one in meelee and no shooting. she subsequently got killed by the squirrel. then another character came out and was also killed. and then i got a raid message. at least seven tribals attacked and decimated my remaining two people. all the time that no longer insane squirrel was watching. and i can picture him thinking he had done a job well done (sorry 'bout the wall of text)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Facepunch on October 05, 2015, 08:29:02 PM
I had a 1-man raid drop ontop of my base, once. The guy he dropped on was like a trillion years old, and had every age-related disease in the book. The guy who dropped in had a shotgun, and pretty awesome armor. But my old guy had a shank. He stabbed the guy who dropped in twice, both in the arm (Which came off), and I got him to run in circles. The guy who dropped in aimed worse than a stormtrooper, with 1 arm, and my old guy survived 10 or 11 shots. After a while, the guy's consciousness started to decline 'cus blood loss. So, I sent my old guy back in to get him. He stabbed him again, and had a mental break. He started to wander. So, the guy who dropped in shot him, atlast, with the shotgun, picked his barely alive body up, and walked out the front door with him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DrAmazing on October 19, 2015, 09:20:09 PM
So I just started this colony today and I had a good laugh. Meet Gunner, Allrond, and Engie. Gunner is a medieval prick that is nothing but pure skill with guns. Allrond is as his nickname is almost: An all around to do everything. Engie was mostly constructing and repairing, but that's unimportant. After starting, I realize nobody but Engie has the ability to haul. I sigh and designate some place to build home. Arming Gunner with the survival rifle, I designate some Muffalo to be hunted. However, I kiiiiiiind of forgot that animals can revenge now. There were about 7 of the pricks, and Gunner downed two before the revenge kicked in. He got downed and the animals went for Engie and Allrond. Allrond was presumably kicking rocks around before being gored by a wall of fur and horn. Engie was able to run through the hastily made wall and forced the muffalo to go around. This gave her time to stuff the other guys in beds, but right after she got downed herself. The Muffalo decide lingering is.... good. They are now in a cycle of getting up and rescuing the last person and then getting downed again. Those Fucking spawncampers friendly animals will just stay there till the end of time, I suppose. And so ends my first Randy Random colony.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: NuclearStudent on October 20, 2015, 12:10:45 AM
So I just started this colony today and I had a good laugh. Meet Gunner, Allrond, and Engie. Gunner is a medieval prick that is nothing but pure skill with guns. Allrond is as his nickname is almost: An all around to do everything. Engie was mostly constructing and repairing, but that's unimportant. After starting, I realize nobody but Engie has the ability to haul. I sigh and designate some place to build home. Arming Gunner with the survival rifle, I designate some Muffalo to be hunted. However, I kiiiiiiind of forgot that animals can revenge now. There were about 7 of the pricks, and Gunner downed two before the revenge kicked in. He got downed and the animals went for Engie and Allrond. Allrond was presumably kicking rocks around before being gored by a wall of fur and horn. Engie was able to run through the hastily made wall and forced the muffalo to go around. This gave her time to stuff the other guys in beds, but right after she got downed herself. The Muffalo decide lingering is.... good. They are now in a cycle of getting up and rescuing the last person and then getting downed again. Those Fucking spawncampers friendly animals will just stay there till the end of time, I suppose. And so ends my first Randy Random colony.

Eventually, animals become unmaddened. In, say, half a month your colonists should be able to move around scot-free, provided that the muffalo don't tear out their eyes.

I love the name "Engie", by the way. Is that a reference to http://www.nerfnow.com/ ?

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DrAmazing on October 20, 2015, 08:53:31 PM
Nope, never seen that. It was engineer, and I play FTL so I thought meh and named them Engie. I'm not that creative.  :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on October 21, 2015, 10:26:43 AM
one of my pawns eating a pizza(from a mod) under a chair right next to a table.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Reddeath96 on October 22, 2015, 06:53:08 PM
Once had sappers attack my mountain base. The only one digging (their best shooter) ends up running into a randomly generated wall in the mountainside. He then proceeded to attack it with his weapon of choice, grenades. Assassin you say? not from what i saw.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on October 24, 2015, 07:48:28 PM
Okay so A huge invasion came  it had about 50 (probably more) people and everyone was either heart or in a bad way (old or not a fighter) when it came to battle except one guy named lucian, I then realise I have a ton of chickens so I'm like "SMITHERS, RELEASE THE CHICKENS" and about 300 chickens swarm the enemies and one poor fool tries to stab one and they start attacking, unfortunately they don't kill all the enemies and there's about 30 left, I say "SMITHERS, RELEASE LUCIAN" I was running some mods at the time and there was one that added a a ton of bionics so lucina was swift as a coursing river (two advanced bionic legs), with all the force of a great typhoon (Railgun MK3), with all the strength of a raging fire (two advanced power arms), mysterious as the dark side of the moon (bionic eyes, advanced ai chip and a painstopper), So he went out there and immediately kills like 3 guys with the rail gun by shooting their bodies off, then he gets in melee range and decapitates 2 of them before they even notice, when they notice he kills about 10 more using his power arms then they start to flee, he then chases all of them down and not one escapes, Lucian didnt have a single scratch and I got rid of my chicken problem.

Also another time my 20 doctor with bionic eyes and arms again accidentally removed someones spine their heart their legs and a arm while installing a pegleg.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DrAmazing on October 25, 2015, 12:27:54 AM
Okay so A huge invasion came  it had about 50 (probably more) people and everyone was either heart or in a bad way (old or not a fighter) when it came to battle except one guy named lucian, I then realise I have a ton of chickens so I'm like "SMITHERS, RELEASE THE CHICKENS" and about 300 chickens swarm the enemies and one poor fool tries to stab one and they start attacking, unfortunately they don't kill all the enemies and there's about 30 left, I say "SMITHERS, RELEASE LUCIAN" I was running some mods at the time and there was one that added a a ton of bionics so lucina was swift as a coursing river (two advanced bionic legs), with all the force of a great typhoon (Railgun MK3), with all the strength of a raging fire (two advanced power arms), mysterious as the dark side of the moon (bionic eyes, advanced ai chip and a painstopper), So he went out there and immediately kills like 3 guys with the rail gun by shooting their bodies off, then he gets in melee range and decapitates 2 of them before they even notice, when they notice he kills about 10 more using his power arms then they start to flee, he then chases all of them down and not one escapes, Lucian didnt have a single scratch and I got rid of my chicken problem.

Also another time my 20 doctor with bionic eyes and arms again accidentally removed someones spine their heart their legs and a arm while installing a pegleg.

"Accidentally" removed their heart, their legs, an arm, and their spine. Did the peg leg guy steal the doctor's sweet roll?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on October 25, 2015, 03:35:53 AM
Okay so A huge invasion came  it had about 50 (probably more) people and everyone was either heart or in a bad way (old or not a fighter) when it came to battle except one guy named lucian, I then realise I have a ton of chickens so I'm like "SMITHERS, RELEASE THE CHICKENS" and about 300 chickens swarm the enemies and one poor fool tries to stab one and they start attacking, unfortunately they don't kill all the enemies and there's about 30 left, I say "SMITHERS, RELEASE LUCIAN" I was running some mods at the time and there was one that added a a ton of bionics so lucina was swift as a coursing river (two advanced bionic legs), with all the force of a great typhoon (Railgun MK3), with all the strength of a raging fire (two advanced power arms), mysterious as the dark side of the moon (bionic eyes, advanced ai chip and a painstopper), So he went out there and immediately kills like 3 guys with the rail gun by shooting their bodies off, then he gets in melee range and decapitates 2 of them before they even notice, when they notice he kills about 10 more using his power arms then they start to flee, he then chases all of them down and not one escapes, Lucian didnt have a single scratch and I got rid of my chicken problem.

you could've just sold them to trader(the chickens). and then bought a gazillion persona cores or the most awesome equipment ever.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: wh72 on October 25, 2015, 07:59:32 AM
Okay so A huge invasion came  it had about 50 (probably more) people and everyone was either heart or in a bad way (old or not a fighter) when it came to battle except one guy named lucian, I then realise I have a ton of chickens so I'm like "SMITHERS, RELEASE THE CHICKENS" and about 300 chickens swarm the enemies and one poor fool tries to stab one and they start attacking, unfortunately they don't kill all the enemies and there's about 30 left, I say "SMITHERS, RELEASE LUCIAN" I was running some mods at the time and there was one that added a a ton of bionics so lucina was swift as a coursing river (two advanced bionic legs), with all the force of a great typhoon (Railgun MK3), with all the strength of a raging fire (two advanced power arms), mysterious as the dark side of the moon (bionic eyes, advanced ai chip and a painstopper), So he went out there and immediately kills like 3 guys with the rail gun by shooting their bodies off, then he gets in melee range and decapitates 2 of them before they even notice, when they notice he kills about 10 more using his power arms then they start to flee, he then chases all of them down and not one escapes, Lucian didnt have a single scratch and I got rid of my chicken problem.
The issue is no trader had enough the most I could ever sell was 100ish

you could've just sold them to trader(the chickens). and then bought a gazillion persona cores or the most awesome equipment ever.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on October 25, 2015, 11:56:14 AM
I was panning around the map at night and saw something memorable:

An male alpaca spooning a male squirrel.  Yes, both were sleeping on the same tile.  A few yards away was another odd sight - a female squirrel sleeping on the remains of a dead boomalope. 

Squirrels seem to have ... interesting preferences...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: zathura on October 25, 2015, 05:28:55 PM
Funny in a "huh, that's cool" kinda way.

Had my first colonist death (where they weren't accidentally cremated). Poor guy was one of my better fighters and a decent crafter, and got downed by a single headshot from a sniper-rifle wielding pirate.

I decided to build him a sarcophagus, and it's "art" description was a scene of him being slaughtered, lol. I assume that sarcophagi operate on the same randomness as the rest of the art. If they automatically depict colonist deaths, then forgive me.

***

Another time, I had a single scyther drop in near the entrance to my base, out of range of my killbox. Fortunately, everyone was inside, except....wait....is that one of my pet deer?

I gather a quick militia together to exit the base from a second entrance and distract the scyther while my deer escapes, having survived an extended onslaught of charge-rifle shots with only a missing front leg to show for it.

She survived, and has since given birth to two healthy bucks. XD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Mmgfrcs on October 27, 2015, 11:21:05 AM
Well here's my 7 days of death (because of mods, but I think this still count) in Alpha 12d

Day 1
Well at 1st day - as new players do - started building rooms and assigning what to do by each colonist. I sent Bill - my careful shooter colonist with 15 at shooting - to hunt some animals during the first day. I tagged every animal on the map to be hunted, so I'm quite unaware of what's being selected. I saw elks on my base's 4, so I thought maybe he will go there

BOOM!

I was surprised to hear that a few game hours later along with "Colonist needs rescue" message flashing on my right. Well at this point you should be able to identify what animal he hunted: the freaking BOOMALOPES! I quickly said "WHY DID YOU HUNT THE FREAKING BOOMALOPES FIRST when there's elks closer to the base???" Well getting back, he was downed and around 7 of them went charging to my base. Thank god I have a colonist with "Barrager" trait along with "Perfection Shooter" (which both I made myself as a new mod) but with only 6 shooting so I could shoot one of the Boomalopes. One explosion of the boomalopes caused a chain reaction, killing the other 6 in a short time. Everything went normal afterwards

Day 2
Goddamit!
Exactly at the next day, at 5 in the morning, yesterday's massacre wasn't over as I haven't extinguished the fires yet (well there's not enough time to do that as constructions and doctoring took a lot of time). So I told the barrager Ellie (that's her name) to extinguish as the other one (Brian, cannot extinguish fire but good at medical) took care of Bill. That day I quickly deselected the hunting selection. The fire extinguishing took the whole day, so that's the only thing I did that day

Day 3
Yay and nay at the same day
I got a new colonist (Wanderer joins event), but unfortunately he's 70 and... well, bad backs, cataracts, dementia. Legs... 50% Moving, the surviving legs have scars so Moving was down to 30% and movement speed went to 0.33 (Nay)

Another warning flashed and it was a raid, a small one and it came from where the new colonist spawned. They attacked the old man and kidnapped him (Yay)

Back to my colony, Bill has an infection on one of his legs, extinguishing continued
But then... oh no. That couldn't happen! The manhunter pack event and it spawned 4 wargs!
Retreated every colonist inside, hoping that the event passed on
But it didn't

Day 4-5
Without any preparations of food, the colonist soon starve so I pulled Ellie out to attack the wargs. With some clever idea I managed to kill all of them, but leaving her injured (Health tab was full) so now 2 were injured. I managed to rescue her but...
NO MEDICINES!
Yes, no medicines! Seriously, I used all of it to keep the infection from escalating (Just figured that out the other day that higher treat quality = lower infection develop speed) as the doctoring skill alone wasn't sufficient, so he manually treated her. She developed an infection just before the last wound has been treated. His construction skill mean that I could construct a butcher table and a cook stove pretty quickly. I opened the production menu and realized...
NO STEEL!
S**t! I haven't realized that no one was mining in all the chaos! AND THE MOUNTAINS WAS FREAKING MILES AWAY! No comms set up, so no trade and I don't have any other options other than mining. The day was spent for mining, but it wasn't enough
So mining continued the next day after treating infections. I let Bill out to increase his mood and do joy things, but then i remembered the FIRES! Haven't extinguished all of them and there's no rain in all these days!

A cobra has been enraged and all other animals have been as well!

That REALLY did happen. 3 Cobras, 3 Hares, 2 squirrels, 1 elk and 2 Boomrats, for exact.
SHOOT! SHOOT! BILL!
He didn't do what he's supposed to do, seriously and I don't know why until...
Restricted.
Unset the restrictions, but then the animals were attacking Brian and he was too far away by the time I realized this. He put up a fight, only to be killed by the Boomrats later on after it exploded close to him. Wanderer join event went on again and Tony joined. Checking his character, he was a better doctor and that's about what he can do (shooting/melee at 1) so he spent the time healing others

Day 6
Next day is another doctoring and unfortunately Bill's infection was extreme and immunity was at 44%, so amputated his leg. Told him to collect the mined steel. Rain (fortunately) happened overnight, dousing the fire. Good news so far, but then Bill didn't come back. Saw his Health and he was unconscious from malnutrition. I told Tony to pick it up instead, but his construction was so low that it took ages to construct a thing. No one has a good construction (Ellie's at 0 and he's also at 0), so I let him do his thing while telling Ellie to rescue

Severe Illness
Now the dead part kicked in. Malnutrition killed Bill and Ellie went back to her bed, having finished the construction. Butchering was also slow but it managed to yield. Ellie was given the meat (raw) and just a few game hours later, she went berserk (really?). It was evening already by the way. He attacked her only to be downed.

Day 7
She recovered the next morning  and before she even got any chance of rescuing, she's dead of her infection. You know what happened next, right? Tony died at the same day
GAME OVER

Worst game ever, but I gained a lot of laughs and stresses during the game
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: rodney_rodnerson on October 28, 2015, 12:06:55 PM
...I had to wall off the sight to the battlezone to keep my survivors sane

"What's that wall for Steve?"

"WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THE WALL!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Limdood on October 28, 2015, 04:43:29 PM
Played a game on RR extreme.

Colony of 5 fights off an early manhunter pack and raid...we win with no deaths, but an arm and a bunch of missing fingers/toes.

Poison ship...oh HELL NO!  Not touching that.  Not with these colonists.

Damsel in distress event.  I always accept if they're 45 or under.  Painful, I get 3 of my colonists killed or kidnapped leaving me with 3 (2 original, plus the damsel)

Another raid, its gonna be extinction.  I desperately send someone over to ping the poison ship and all 3 of my pawns run away.  Mechs slaughter the raid, unfortunately without taking much losses.  2 scythers and a centipede proceed to wipe out my still-wooden base while my 3 colonists hang out across the map trying to turn an abandoned structure into a little hovel.  I get a few wood beds, a small stockpile set up and keep my guys fed for 2 days, when...

...ANOTHER raid!  I run them into the mechs again, and this time the pirates win.  We run out to valiantly try to meet the remainder in combat.  Outnumbered 5 to 3 and fighting them off with a knife, frag grenade and survival rifle...

...we win!  hooray for manual grenade throwing!  2 of my pawns are shot up bad....we're heading back to "base" to treat them.  I can finally get the game...well...restarted i guess, since those raids basically knocked me back to the equivalent of day 3.

Get the 2 in bed, start poorly treating them...BERSERK!  the pawn with the survival rifle goes berserk and kills the other injured pawn, before being put down (forever) by the healthy pawn.

At this point, my sole remaining survivor has just had it.  He's seen too much, he knows Robby Random is an asshole that will just send another huge raid in a day to kill him.  So he slowly limps over to the grenades, equips them, pulls the pin, and sets one down at his feet...

Thus endeth my first Robby Random Extreme game.

...god i love this game.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on November 12, 2015, 06:16:52 PM
"A Thrumbo is passing through. The hide and horn are extremely valuable."
Extremely valuable? Well, I guess I will kill it. It just murdered my melee 13 colonist and knocked out my other 2. WHY didn't I tame it? Now there's an OP idea. If you could release that on raiders, a big tribal raid would take 10 seconds to be over.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: NuclearStudent on November 12, 2015, 07:28:53 PM
"A Thrumbo is passing through. The hide and horn are extremely valuable."
Extremely valuable? Well, I guess I will kill it. It just murdered my melee 13 colonist and knocked out my other 2. WHY didn't I tame it? Now there's an OP idea. If you could release that on raiders, a big tribal raid would take 10 seconds to be over.

Hah, yeah.

When I met my first thrumbo, I looked at the description of "very dangerous" and just went mental on that thing. I spent time planning out the perfect assault with machine gunners supporting light rifle infantry and last ditch grenadiers to sacrifice themselves if need be.

Well, a couple of machine gun bursts in the thrumbo just keeled over and died. Anticlimax.

I figured then that thrumbos must be stupid and weak and not at all what they were cracked up to be. The next time thrumbos came over, I sent my colonist Ann to seduce them. Ann was violated and left to die alone in the snow. Some time later, a colonist made a sculpture of her rape and dismemberment, and I vowed to execute any further thrumbos on sight.

After I put this policy in place, a thrumbo went into man hunter mode and auto recruited himself. He walked through all my doors and we somehow managed to subdue him with melee. The treehugging bastard didn't survive his arrest, but we would have tortured him real good if he had.

Also note that when you build a wall around a thrumbo herd, they are smart enough to bust down the doors to leave.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on November 12, 2015, 09:04:40 PM
Then don't put doors in.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DigitalCore on November 13, 2015, 10:58:28 AM
Don't send your colonists hunting with grenade launchers. ESPECIALLY if you have other colonists hunting the same pack of Rimdogs.

>Colonist needs rescue
'Huh?'
>Iris
>Luna
>Hawk
>Jen
>4/7 down
'WHAT?'
>scroll over to Rimdog pack
>And there's Doc, with a smug look on his face, still plugging grenades across the field.
'DOC WHAT THE HELL'

The irony that he was my go-to medicine man was not lost on me.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on November 13, 2015, 05:07:39 PM
So on my second raid (PDW, sniper rifle, and incendiary grenades) All my colonists die except for Harrier. I have him extinguish fires and he goes to extinguish one of the small ones, and he touches it and it instantly kills him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on November 15, 2015, 03:44:58 AM
"A Thrumbo is passing through. The hide and horn are extremely valuable."
Extremely valuable? Well, I guess I will kill it. It just murdered my melee 13 colonist and knocked out my other 2. WHY didn't I tame it? Now there's an OP idea. If you could release that on raiders, a big tribal raid would take 10 seconds to be over.

basically impossible to tame tho, and it eats A LOT. you can luckily feed it trees, but that is the only good part about it apart from it's fighting capabilities.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: little gaming on November 20, 2015, 02:47:02 AM
well i don't know if this is "funny" but here it is
(http://file:///C:/Users/James%20Rampling/AppData/LocalLow/Ludeon%20Studios/RimWorld/Screenshots/screenshot1.png)
that explains it all  :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on November 20, 2015, 08:16:03 AM
I don't see anything.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: hyperkiller on November 21, 2015, 02:44:23 AM
well i don't know if this is "funny" but here it is
(http://file:///C:/Users/James%20Rampling/AppData/LocalLow/Ludeon%20Studios/RimWorld/Screenshots/screenshot1.png)
that explains it all  :D

so.... i think you tried to link the picture which dosnt work like that, you needed to upload that picture
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: convictvx on November 22, 2015, 08:17:40 PM
A while back on my first game ever i was managing work settings of my 7 person colony when suddenly something in my stomach yelled 'HEY i have to get out of here, i'm comming up'. Yes i had to puke so i hit spacebar to pause the game and run to the bathroom. After being done comming back to my pc only to see my colonists were killed. I asked my stepson what happened and he replied: about 10 persons who's names were red entered the map and they killed all of your people. I asked hem if i didn't pause the game before leaving and he said no, it was paused while u were doing those job settings and u hit play when u left for the toilet. Kind of mad at myself i asked him why he didn't pause the game for me then. A respond i didn't excepted: cause it was too funny seeing ur ppl die.  :-\

1st game in A12 with animal taming i tought it would be nice to have a boomrat army so i decided to tame all of them on the map, weren't that much (i believe around 11 of them) and train them in obedience and release. Then i tought that they needed a leader and tamed 1 boomalope. Then finally i could test that 'army' as a 15 man raid came in. Got them on a distance to my base and i decided to realease the boom-army only to get the boomalope getting killed killing all the boomrats in his fire. From then i never tamed a boomalope or boomrat anymore as i think it is pretty pointless.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on November 27, 2015, 05:41:58 PM
1st game in A12 with animal taming i tought it would be nice to have a boomrat army so i decided to tame all of them on the map, weren't that much (i believe around 11 of them) and train them in obedience and release. Then i tought that they needed a leader and tamed 1 boomalope. Then finally i could test that 'army' as a 15 man raid came in. Got them on a distance to my base and i decided to realease the boom-army only to get the boomalope getting killed killing all the boomrats in his fire. From then i never tamed a boomalope or boomrat anymore as i think it is pretty pointless.

Oooo that gives me an idea!
Tame boom*s.
Have an inner wall to the base.
Have an outer wall to the base.
Have the boom*s live in the space between.
There would be entry gaps North, South, East, West for raiders to just "walk" in.... through a moving mine field.

Have the entry gaps of the inner and outer wall offset so the raiders have to walk a bit in the moving mine field of course. O'h and for the love of gawd, NOT WOOD WALLS!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on November 28, 2015, 03:53:01 AM
that would solve the problem of stationary mines, too.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on November 28, 2015, 09:45:32 AM
I had a self-tamed boomalope, so I had it go to a 1-tile animal area at the edge of the map. The best part is that a shiv raider attacked it and I thought it would blow up and die, killing the shiv raider, but it actually killed the raider through melee attacks. I think it got an infection or died or starved or wandered off.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on December 08, 2015, 09:20:40 AM
Oooo that gives me an idea!
Tame boom*s.
Have an inner wall to the base.
Have an outer wall to the base.
Have the boom*s live in the space between.
There would be entry gaps North, South, East, West for raiders to just "walk" in.... through a moving mine field.

Have the entry gaps of the inner and outer wall offset so the raiders have to walk a bit in the moving mine field of course. O'h and for the love of gawd, NOT WOOD WALLS!

If you want to completely ignore the raiders, use Open Doors instead of gaps.  It'll trap some of the heat, and eventually hit a temperature where raiders & mechs spontaneously combust.  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Shurp on December 10, 2015, 06:43:58 PM
Woa, this sounds cool -- can you set up a perpetually burning stone cooridor wall around your base?  I wonder how you can throw more fuel in there to keep it going...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Limdood on December 10, 2015, 09:12:56 PM
Woa, this sounds cool -- can you set up a perpetually burning stone cooridor wall around your base?  I wonder how you can throw more fuel in there to keep it going...

Thats easy!  just release prisoners or have colonists "go for a walk"


what?


why is everyone looking at me like that?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on December 11, 2015, 07:26:51 AM
Woa, this sounds cool -- can you set up a perpetually burning stone cooridor wall around your base?  I wonder how you can throw more fuel in there to keep it going...

If the area is long enough (around the base it should be) wouldn't the grass and trees regrow by the time the fire has made it all the way around?

What about pumping hot air in via Geothermal, coolers and vents to keep it hot in there so anything entering would just burst into flames? Could that work too?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on December 11, 2015, 09:39:08 AM
Woa, this sounds cool -- can you set up a perpetually burning stone cooridor wall around your base?  I wonder how you can throw more fuel in there to keep it going...

If the area is long enough (around the base it should be) wouldn't the grass and trees regrow by the time the fire has made it all the way around?

What about pumping hot air in via Geothermal, coolers and vents to keep it hot in there so anything entering would just burst into flames? Could that work too?

or you just use heaters.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on December 12, 2015, 06:55:59 AM
If it's hot enough to spontaneously combust raiders then it's unlikely that plants would grow (out of growing range). Heaters might work, as long as they don't combust. And as long as the power doesn't go down. Hmm...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on December 12, 2015, 07:18:14 AM
If it's hot enough to spontaneously combust raiders then it's unlikely that plants would grow (out of growing range). Heaters might work, as long as they don't combust. And as long as the power doesn't go down. Hmm...

Sorry, yeah those were 2 different ideas for it, either growing or pumping hot air in.

May even get lucky with a geothermal spot (or 2) right near where you want to put "death valley". Block it in and get those coolers working overtime! Will need some trial and error on the size of the "room" for the geothermal not to insta-melt before the hot air is pumped out though.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on December 12, 2015, 01:37:02 PM
If it's hot enough to spontaneously combust raiders then it's unlikely that plants would grow (out of growing range). Heaters might work, as long as they don't combust. And as long as the power doesn't go down. Hmm...

I didn't know heaters are combustible. can coolers catch fire, too? otherwise, there would be a pretty simple workaround.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on December 15, 2015, 10:10:37 AM
Here's a few good ones:

Yes, the thrumbo trap is contrived, but I still chuckle when I see it.  For the curious, yes, the thrumbo horn landed outside the trap when it finally starved.

And that rhino was a bit terrifying, but we got it!  Note the bleed rate.  ;D

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: EarthyTurtle on December 15, 2015, 11:04:22 AM
Funniest thing in the game? Well for that we will definitely have to quote Randy Random in one of the greatest stories he has made for me! :D

For starters, background on my colony. It's a year in, built onto the face of a cliff with a mine into the mountain for resources. I didn't have anything resembling a 'killbox' or any established defense, So when Manhunting packs of Wargs came blundering into my part of the world I did a minor panic and sealed myself in to wait them out. About 20ish good wargs all primed and ready for a feed.

But not a day goes by ingame and suddenly the game changes. A Siege occurred from a local pirate gang. So now I'm thinking "DRAT! I can't even get out there to pre-emptively strike." Needless to say the Wargs were more interested in me that in the raiders. So legitimately all I could do was sit there and take a pounding for a couple of days.

Now it gets interesting. I get a call from a rather friendly neighboring colony saying "We'll help you!' and a good 6 troopers wander in. Great! But the Wargs forgot about me and instead turned their attention to my friendly neighbors! Almost immediately a tribal attack happens and they run into the pirates besieging my base!

Now as if this wasn't funny enough, a psyche drone ship happens to crash into the centre of the map. My first thought is, whomever survives this is going to end up attacking me after this conflict, so I shoot the ship part and release a good number of droids that stood between me and these armies.

Bottom line, It's basically a battle of the 5 armies with me just sitting in my base, with a couple of holes in some buildings, watching this all out war play out in my backyard. Genetically modified animals, mechas, Super soldiers, natives. It was a pretty sweet nativity.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jzero on December 28, 2015, 10:54:05 AM
squirrels killed two of my colonists and incapped  another in one in-game.then a tribal raid happened and the squirrels killed four of them before getting killed themselves.

I just keep thinking that the tribals came expecting to attack my colonists but instead got seiged by squirrels until they retreated after killing them and being shot at by my snipers.

it was pretty great.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on December 31, 2015, 08:11:13 AM
so, one of my colonists just got sick. of the flu. and the plague. at once. lol, didn't even know that was possible.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sens on January 12, 2016, 09:50:46 AM
Tribals meet Turret  :o ;D 8) : (Colony wealth 1,55 mio, year 5515) :)

Cant even count how many of them are there anymore...  ;)

(http://i.imgur.com/qMpiSpV.jpg)

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on January 15, 2016, 01:18:22 AM
so, one of my colonists just got sick. of the flu. and the plague. at once. lol, didn't even know that was possible.
Man, you might as well euthanize him.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on January 15, 2016, 07:14:28 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/SERuyzH.jpg)

I've seen videos on the youtube, but didn't know RimWorld was this realistic.

After the smoke the labrator joined my colony. Her name is Chocolata

(Also, how do I resize pictures?)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Regret on January 15, 2016, 04:50:43 PM
That is a mod, right?
also
Code: [Select]
[size=10pt]text[/size]
Though that may just be fontsize.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on January 16, 2016, 04:39:30 AM
Yeah, ModVariety pack.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sens on January 16, 2016, 08:03:18 AM
One of my guys got struck by a lightning  ;D

One of the siegers got deployed straight into a one tile room that serves as my artillery stockpile. :D

Ludeon Industries - Pirate Merchant. :D

P.S. Another one: Just when my snipers went sleeping after dealing with poison ship guards, an unlucky rabbit joined the colony right next to the mechs, just to be slaughtered by them in the next second :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: GuesUserNameGUN on January 19, 2016, 12:09:37 PM
probably the time some pirates used sappers on my base (with grenades) and they blew themselves up and didnt touch my door.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on January 21, 2016, 03:07:31 PM
so, one of my colonists just got sick. of the flu. and the plague. at once. lol, didn't even know that was possible.
Man, you might as well euthanize him.

actually, he survived. I have a beast of a medic.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on January 22, 2016, 04:22:42 AM
6/10, Story lacked extraction of bodyparts.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sens on January 22, 2016, 07:01:07 PM
Cloudwatching gone horribly wrong  ;D



[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sens on January 24, 2016, 04:00:02 PM
Really? I dont think so. :)

Sometimes i think this stuff is programmed lol.

[attachment deleted due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Firesky on February 02, 2016, 01:03:46 AM
So, I just had a raid in my ModVarietyPack world. I sent one colonist on a mission, and he returned with an LMG and a raid.

"Great!", I thought, "I could use some more colonists, and my killbox is okay right now".

Turns out, they brought grenades, but not their brains. They immediately tunneled into the nearest mectoid hive, killed it and two of their members, and were about to finish tunneling through the completely unnecessary room when they killed their final raider. They then fled in fear, while my colonists continued about their day.

In the end, here's the carnage: http://imgur.com/tnOiypA
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on February 02, 2016, 05:07:54 AM
LOL, nice one Firesky.

These dudes are really hard to deal with in the begining of the game. Freaking armors that only get damaged by fire and explosives.

Had to kill a boomalope to burn him
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dspendragon on February 05, 2016, 09:12:04 AM
I had a prefect colonist ,great stats,awesome armor , but sadly I was forced to watch him die, 23 raiders stormed my colony killed everyone, but he didn't die, no he was able drive them off, lost an arm, but drove them off, but then, a manhunting of turtles! decide to come say "hi" and tear him to bits , so I set there and decided to wait, and something poped and said " a tribal has joined you". I was so happy my colony was not doomed to be deleted, but he broke and ran away after he seen all the dead colonists,. so I thought to my self and then laughed at the fact , Rimworld does weird stuff .   
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: haydeman on February 11, 2016, 03:18:44 PM
I had started out with three colonists but after about 5-10 days they had eaten all the food and had malnutrition 2 of my colonists died and one was left all she had was a knife so she went to the butchering table and butchered my dead colonists and ate them. soon after a raid comes shoots my colonist in the right leg and she falls from shock she then gets kidnapped i then lost the game. This is the story of the first time i have ever lost a game of Rimworld. (I didn't even know i could lose the game)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on February 11, 2016, 07:41:22 PM
(I didn't even know i could lose the game)

And now I've lost The Game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)), too.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on February 12, 2016, 08:12:53 AM
(I didn't even know i could lose the game)

And now I've lost The Game (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game_(mind_game)), too.

damn it, I didn't even think about it until you mentioned it!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: AllenWL on February 12, 2016, 09:19:31 AM
And I was doing so well too....
I wonder how many people will lose the game because of this?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thane on March 15, 2016, 02:50:32 PM
Four Years... FOUR YEARS!!! You broke my streak!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: StorymasterQ on March 15, 2016, 08:42:21 PM
This is the funniest thing I've seen in the Rimworld forums. And I started it!

Warmth.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Coenmcj on March 17, 2016, 02:38:50 AM
Damn it... I Was sitting 5 years, 10 months. well. time to start again.  :-\
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: forumaccount on March 17, 2016, 03:02:58 AM
I had a colonist who's primary occupation was "pop star". She was terrible at everything but art.

I made her butcher animals and mine ore.
Mine was good at social and art.

It's actually a pretty effective character... make fantastically valuable sculptures, and buy almost any thing you please!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on March 19, 2016, 06:18:02 AM
I had a colonist who's primary occupation was "pop star". She was terrible at everything but art.

I made her butcher animals and mine ore.
Mine was good at social and art.

It's actually a pretty effective character... make fantastically valuable sculptures, and buy almost any thing you please!

the only real way of making money, apart from maybe growing devilstrand.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on March 21, 2016, 08:24:03 AM
I had a pirate that was old, had a bad back and a pegleg in their right leg.

His name was Sanji. Coincidence? I think not.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Yitzi on March 23, 2016, 01:33:22 PM
So I was busy getting my mountain basein order, lamenting about how I had far too few colonists to keep up with the work needed (playing with the MVP modpack), when I got a notification of a cargo drop. I knew it was close by, since I heard the noise pretty loudly, so I went over to see it. It dropped strawberry wine, which, while nice, wasn't necessary for me right then. I unforbid it anyways, and left to do some more work. Taking a look outside when I found that my elderly female elephant was pregnant, I found a dead squirrel, an unconscious hare, and my elephants drinking the wine. They were all blackout drunk. The elephants soon fell unconscious.

As if that wasn't enough, one of my colonists was force feeding the pregnant elephant more wine! It soon died. The hare woke up the next day, and puked all over the entrance area of my base. The traders that came by and set up camp there later must've liked that, since they were happy with my hospitality.

After the whole thing, I quit the game. Couldn't handle the randomness, Randy.
I would upload pictures, but while I swear I took screenshots, they weren't in the file.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: dareddevil7 on March 25, 2016, 06:02:25 PM
The time two of my wargs made love in the freezer
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on March 26, 2016, 05:46:55 PM
I had an okay colony going, when some idiot sappers decided to dig into the mechanoid base, the sappers were destroyed taking a mechanoid with them. Then I had my sniper (currently equipped with cremation molotovs) go against one, she got shot, along with every single person who went to rescue her. At this point only my doctor and a person with the plauge were still conscious. 4 of my colonists lay on the ground next to each other. The mechs left that area to blow up more turrets. I rescued my fallen colonists and provided medical care. I didn't do anything for poor Mark, who was missing all his limbs. There was no point in wasting medicine on him. Had my colony survived, I would have euthanized him, and we might have if it wasn't for that fatally stupid sick person who decided to take a peaceful nap on the grass outside, near the mechs. I had to rescue them, and then I remembered the molotovs. I had the doctor equip them and run over to the closest mech, but he must have not played little league as a kid since he couldn't throw it 5 squares accurately. It caught the base on fire (obviously) and the doctor was quickly shot down and incapacitated. Then, I had the last conscious colonist run in with nothing and melee one of the mechs. (I was desperate.) I actually said aloud, "WHAT?!?!" when the colonist killed the mech with bare hands! I tried to have them get a knife from the storage building, but they were incapacitated by the next mech they ran up to.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: itzrabiid on March 27, 2016, 11:47:06 PM
Had a thriving Colony that had a massive amounts of food and medicine. Well, That was until my battery room caught fire and took all my stockpiles out with it. I had 5 colonists trying to control the blaze and one by one they all burned alive D:

It ended up destroying half my base and what happens after that? a Raid. ffs.

Long story short my two surviving elderly colonists died a horrible death, watching their friends burn alive and then catching a couple of bullets to the head.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on April 05, 2016, 07:23:49 AM
So Rubio had a shitty day and just wanted to sit down and grab a bite to eat, when the game even denied him that ;D Goddamn lightning right in the face! What are the odds!

(https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=5192.0;attach=11732;image)

[attachment deleted by admin - too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chibiabos on April 10, 2016, 05:07:17 AM
New funniest thing ever courtesy Alpha 13 -- a land trader's muffalo got himself drunk on my beer and actually passed out, dropping all the inventory I had just sold to the trader!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thane on April 10, 2016, 07:11:27 AM
New funniest thing ever courtesy Alpha 13 -- a land trader's muffalo got himself drunk on my beer and actually passed out, dropping all the inventory I had just sold to the trader!


Note to self: give beer to every trader caravan.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Adamiks on April 10, 2016, 10:52:03 AM
Apparently thats the easiest way to kill Thrumbos :D

(https://i.imgur.com/QHPAbIG.png)

Though, it seems he dont drop his horn if killed that way, sadly... :C
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DepOpt on April 11, 2016, 09:18:14 PM
My current colony has given me a few good moments already, and it's only coming up to it's 3rd year.

For starters, for the first couple of seasons my colony was, by pure chance, entirely female. Then, a man shows up. It's a 65 year old asthmatic gay man. It took nearly 2 years for another male colonist to join, and they are still the only men in what is now an 11 person colony. But that pales in comparison to the combination of events that we've gone through.

First we had what can only be described as some sort of apocalypse, with a combination Toxic Fallout (lasted nearly half the first year), Eclipse (lasted at least 2-3 days) and Dry Thunderstorm all at once, followed by a Mechanoid raid whilst the fallout continued. Had to snipe them from doorways for 2 days till we finally got them all. Just as my colony is starting to go a little stir crazy from being cooped up for so long, a manhunter pack arrived. A manhunting pack of... Elephants...

I cackle, thinking that they will shortly go the same way every other animal on the map has gone, and die off soon enough. And then the fallout ends. Leaving me with jobs in desperate need of doing outside, and a bunch of angry elephants waiting outside the door. Elephants are hard to kill...

As I tidy up the blood and corpses we have a trade caravan. Thank fuck, we need supplies. And oh look, another one. Wait, aren't your two factions enemies? The trade caravans then proceeded to have a pitched battle outside my base, with me happily picking up the loot dropped by both sides. One particular greatbow got looted from the fight, sold to a group of travellers who had also picked now to say hello, then sold to the surviving trade caravan after they rampaged over the travelling group.

Then we had the typical day to day things that make Rimworld great over summer. People having mental breaks and stripping in the freezer, casual prisoner abuse, injured baby pet cougars. You know, the usual.

Then, around early autumn, the sky darkens. It's a volcanic winter. I start prepping, shearing the muffalo and stockpiling food. Fall turns to winter, and then a cold snap happens. I'm in a temperate forest. It's supposed to average maybe 5C over winter. It's -30C outside... Luckily my main hunter is wearing a muffalo wool parka, and is accompanied by a polar bear and a grizzly bear, both weathering the cold easily. That's when the pack arrives. Wargs. About 20 of them. They tear up the turrets as my colonists bar the doors. Having survived one apocalypse, Cassandra has switched tack is is going old school. Winter without end, great wolves outside. This is Fimbulwinter. This is Ragnarok. My own warg is the only animal both trained to haul and tough enough to go out there, the labrador being too weak to deal with the occasional nips and scratches from the maddened pack, and he brings in the corpses as my other pet predators (bears, cougars) hunt the wargs for their own food.

The long winter drags on, and as a cold spring breaks, the pack has been reduced from 20 to 3. We venture back outside, though it's still too cold to plant crops, and set to work cleaning the INSANE amount of blood that has been tracked around the base by bleeding wargs. As the weather warms up, and the long volcanic freeze ends, we get out next big suprise. Another manhunter pack. This time it's boomalopes... *sigh*

And then another. More Elephants. At this point, I wonder if I have somehow recreated Boatmurded. The land is that same wasted landscape from repeated forest fires, the art in my colony is getting creepier each time, and I have apparently angered the elephants.

Nothing great since then, another typical summer. Short circuits, more raids, strange ship parts crashing /right/ when I did need more steel. Combination hits of blight, then malaria, when my herbal meds have nearly run out...

Though things are looking up for the colony. Our latest recruit has an interesting background. A spoilt child, having had a life of safety, education and art, then kidnapped and used as a test dummy for several years. She now has great melee, pretty good shooting, and a lingering fondness for artistic things. My colony has been joined by River Tam...

Tl;dr: Colony of predator taming amazons, Two flavours of apocalypse, strong Boatmurdered vibes, and River fucking Tam.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on April 14, 2016, 05:36:18 AM
That's awesome!  Can't wait to hear how "all burn" starts, and the description of the remaining artwork.  :D


The best thing I've seen so far in A13 is my ice sheet game with Randy.  I guess I like getting trolled.

Meet Lord.  He's a night owl hunter/builder kind of guy, but he'll do pretty much any handyman job I ask him to.  Meet Cat, Lord's sister.  She mines, she crafts, she gardens, she doctors, and she researches.  She basically does everything.  Cat is awesome!  Cat likes other girls.  Meet Anna.  She cooks, she cleans, she keeps up relations with the neighbors.  Anna is a hard worker, and often goes unthanked.

Poor Anna - the target of her ex-husband Lord's inability to let go of the past.  Poor Anna - the target of her ex-husband's attractions.  Poor Anna - the one who must provide "soylent green" to keep them feed on this barren icy rock they live on.  Anna considers the sweet release of suicide, but can't quite seem to go through with it.  She threatens to leave, but she's never been able to work up the courage.  She actually tried to poison the food once or twice, but only made Lord vomit disgustingly all over her clean floors.  Just as she was giving up hope, caravans of traders started arriving.  Maybe they would have food!  But no, they were weapons dealers - warlords in Anna's mind - who repeatedly stole from Anna's fridge.  Anna sighed, rolled up her sleeves, and got back to work.  Anna is steadfast.

Seriously - I get near constant notifications that Anna is about to crack, and she hasn't even had a soft break yet.  Anna is a rock!  The colony has butchered and eaten every animal, spacer, and downed raider for food, and they're barely getting by.  The power keeps going offline, so the hydroponics keeps going down.  But nothing can quite put them over the edge.  It's great!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mumblemumble on April 16, 2016, 04:41:28 PM
A Colonist who had hard-worker and VERY neurotic traits... Very interesting combo.

They could mine like NOBODY ELSE (10 mining skill, plus both bonuses, she could mine 2 times as fast as others almost) And was the goto whenever anything needed done fast. That said, tiny stessors really set her off all the time. Half my artwork involved her either picking fights and losing, or her going into a daze, which, every time without fail she would strip naked during...

She kind of became my mascot in a way, in that she was seldom a goto pawn, but was definitely memorable pawn.

Also, rolling sensory mechanites on a masochist mafia boss.. She got a mood boost through it all, even for severe pain, and got a performance bonus making her an astounding shot. I actually micromanaged it so NOBODY treated her unless there was an open wound, as I wanted it to last. I was sad when it was gone.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kreuzberger on April 16, 2016, 06:52:29 PM
A 16 year old male colonist with the following setup: nudist, ugly and gay...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mumblemumble on April 16, 2016, 07:14:06 PM
A 16 year old male colonist with the following setup: nudist, ugly and gay...
If the pawn had brain damage ontop of all that, it would be just TOO perfect.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kahdeg on April 16, 2016, 11:48:01 PM
Just recruit a scientist. She can't do research XD.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on April 17, 2016, 02:37:50 PM
So it just happened that my crafter, Rory, and his fiancee, Paulette, decided to marry. All colonists were on their way to the ceremony and in the meantime, Paulette decided to have some beers, 5 to be exact, she has an chemical interest.
The ceremony was about to start when the pissdrunk bride decided to puke all over the floor while making her way to the altar xD
Almost died laughing. She decided to have another beer afterwards and puked again during the party. She really did know how to party hard! ;D



(https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=5192.0;attach=12251;image)

[attachment deleted by admin - too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Element4ry on April 17, 2016, 11:27:58 PM
I think I just hit the ceiling of hilarity. Most useless colonist I've ever seen, Her Majesty Impossibly Useless Queen:

(http://i.imgur.com/aVtqs4D.png)

But behold! Here's the plot twist, her sister which is pretty good at everything:

(http://i.imgur.com/T7I5elp.png)

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vaporisor on April 23, 2016, 01:15:13 AM
With the new predators, I was chuckling right after update.  I was on a map with a high population of predators it seemed.  But those predators liked going after tortoises.  Was enjoying the free bear and cougar harvests as they kept dying from infections resulting from fighting with a turtle....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Limdood on April 23, 2016, 04:25:43 PM
Element4ry, i got the convent child sheriff once as a cry for help join....i checked the stats...then just drafted her and left her on the edge of the map for the pirates to rekidnap.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: dwmitch on April 30, 2016, 11:48:58 AM
The funniest thing I've seen so far was an extremely incompetent grenadier. When I was melee attacking two of her allies she started lobbing grenades. They hit so that my colonists weren't impacted but she destroyed her comrades. I had another colonist in a shootout with her remaining associate and I sent the two melee fighters to help out there. The grenadier missed again, hit a boomalope, and it was positioned in such a way that the explosion missed my colonists but the raider burned to death.

After the gunman was dead the grenadier took off running. I tried to take her down so I could get her grenades but we were already pretty close to the edge of the map so she got away.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vaporisor on May 01, 2016, 03:51:40 AM
A new gooder.  Operation to remove a lung from a pirate so I can heal up a colonist.  Medical 20 doc goes in, and kills the pirate with a catastrophic failure by accidentally removing his leg.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: linkfanpc on May 01, 2016, 08:47:24 PM
Poison ship piece falls near my little base, and when i try to attack it with my meager 8 little guys i knew the mechers were too much. I immediately called my friends, City-at-the-mountain, to bring in some reinforcements, and BIG SURPRISE! They're at the other end of the map. By the time they reach the poison ship piece there are dead mechanoids and bleeding colonists everywhere. So, yeah. I killed all mechs and destroyed the ship before the dumb slow-pokes got there.

GREAT TIMING IDIOTS!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on May 02, 2016, 07:34:10 PM
So it just happened that my crafter, Rory, and his fiancee, Paulette, decided to marry. All colonists were on their way to the ceremony and in the meantime, Paulette decided to have some beers, 5 to be exact, she has an chemical interest.
The ceremony was about to start when the pissdrunk bride decided to puke all over the floor while making her way to the altar xD
Almost died laughing. She decided to have another beer afterwards and puked again during the party. She really did know how to party hard! ;D
Might be the best one I've read so far! Brilliant man! Had be a good laugh!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ekarus on May 03, 2016, 06:12:18 AM
Recently, I had a simple little colony going, I'd managed to box in some rich soil in an arid wasteland and had cooled it to an acceptable degree along with the colony. Things were looking good, I was just starting to install sunlamps when I got a notification that a colonist was wandering in a drug induced haze.

Now, I'm running the RimPharma mod, and it turns out that the colony's pet dog had managed to get into medical storage and eat around 20 units of some high-grade pain killer that causes auditory hallucinations. Needless to say, the dog was in high orbit at this point. I set an area that the dog was allowed in and continued on trying to get the greenhouse working.

A week or so had gone by (in game) and the dog was still out of it's gourd considerably so, or had managed to get into the drugs again. But I had a bigger problem, a power conduit blew in a "Bzzt..." event.

This set the dog on fire.

The dog, still in orbit, was not remotely phased by this, and while my colonists were busy putting the farm out, the dog wandered about, slowly becoming more on fire. Minutes had passed and my colonists were still unable to get the fire under control because of the new found hellhound wandering the farm in no pain what so ever. I attempted to get one of the colonists to put the dog out, or move it, but neither worked out too well. The dog did eventually become unable to move, simply because it's legs burned off, but it did manage to burn the colony down before doing so.

Moral of the story? Lock up your crazy power painkillers better.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kraehe on May 03, 2016, 10:01:04 AM
I was bored and tried if it is possible to create relationships between animals/animals and colonists/animals with the dev mode... now one of my Wargs has an affair with a colonist >_>
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: linkfanpc on May 04, 2016, 01:47:12 PM
I was bored and tried if it is possible to create relationships between animals/animals and colonists/animals with the dev mode... now one of my Wargs has an affair with a colonist >_>

"FLUFFYBUNS, WE AREN'T A THING ANYMORE!!!!!"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ekarus on May 05, 2016, 10:29:17 AM
Had a pretty decent colony going, around 20 colonists and had managed to find a colonist with my name. All was good. After a particularly bad Mechanoid attack I decided I should have a plan F. Spent a great deal of my resources, sold off some weapons, statues, and other things to build an escape ship.

Sure enough, a massive Mechanoid attack happened.

Woke everyone up, had them all pile into the ship, and launched it. Just as the screen started fading to white I noticed something.

A very hung-over, very confused colonist wandering out of the freezer.

"The following colonists were left behind: Ekarus Ryndren"

Not exactly funniest, but it made me laugh.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Gelswolf on May 11, 2016, 08:03:04 AM
I had a small colony called The Away Team. (A13)

Captain Janeway, Officer Chakotay (her brother) and The Doctor. We were joined by Tom Paris, Mr Tuvok and rescued B'Elanna Torres.

First off, Chakotay was always borderline stressed out so he was put on forced joy activity in the hopes it would ease his suffering. Useless pawn is useless.
Then I noticed B'Elanna Torres was competing with him for the most lame psychotic colony member. She was put on forced joy activities too, delicate petal was just as useless.

The Captain was the calmest and hardest working member of the team making her my most valuable resource, until The Doctor decided to make a romatic pass at her.
I get a notification saying there is a fight between two pawns so I jump location to see the two of them beating the stuffing out of one another. Apparently he thought no meant yes.

I could not stop them so I sent her Brother to stand between the two which broke up the fight.
Now I had a wounded Doctor in a bed with a broken heart and a Captain in the next room with a broken spine. They had to be fed by Chakotay which upset him so much he spent the entire day playing "one man chess."

So they slowly heal and things appear normal enough until we get Tuvok.
He is unable to do dumb labor and is an amazing shot as well as a great researcher but...he is a diehard nudist.

I have a crippled Captain.
A psycho Doctor.
A nude Vulcan who hates being around other people.
A half Klingon / Human who is always dazed and can be found easily by her trail of clothing.

Then we have Tom...

He is liked by everyone but has such a huge ego that he tries to take on a male couger with a plasteel knife. Thank you Tom, because of you we have a field full of wounded pawns and no one to rescue them.

The only good thing to come of this situation was the sudden raid that Randy decided we needed right at the most critical moment. They attacked the base and found a field full of dying pawns so kidnapped the Doctor and made off with him.
 
I swear I heard Captain Janeway shout "thank you" as they headed back home.

This is the best game I have ever played!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on May 11, 2016, 09:14:17 AM
Voyager role play in RimWorld, I love it!  ;D

Thanks for sharing!  I think you just made my day!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Pan7h3r on May 16, 2016, 01:58:49 AM
Randy threw a siege and 2 raids at me at the same time and I was only able to get one of the raids to flee before they wiped my entire colony out.. however during the slaughter I got notification that a wanderer had come to join my colony, his name was Norman.

I got Norman to pick up a survival rifle and start taking shots at the sieging raiders and whilst that was going on, one of my colonies Huskies got attacked by the remaining raiding party, he turned around and started fighting back. He managed to kill one of them and that prompted the raiders to run away! Whilst this was going on, Norman managed to cause the sieging raiders to flee!

My entire colony was wiped out but a random called Norman and one of the huskies I had managed to fight off a raiding party and an enemy siege.

A bit of self plugging but I had the entire thing recorded if you want to see the cluster**** unfold - see channel in sig.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vaporisor on May 16, 2016, 02:30:33 AM
So technically.... The colony wasn't wiped out.... :3
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on May 16, 2016, 06:35:01 AM
My wife started playing Rimworld, and her doctor started failing to put a peg leg, cutting of limbs, making the patiente bleed, she said in frustration "Is this doctor blind?"
I started laughing, but on the secound thought...
"Wait, he can really be blind!"

One eye shot out and the other one with a scar from a squirel. I lol'd pretty hard
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vaporisor on May 18, 2016, 02:03:38 PM
My wife started playing Rimworld, and her doctor started failing to put a peg leg, cutting of limbs, making the patiente bleed, she said in frustration "Is this doctor blind?"
I started laughing, but on the secound thought...
"Wait, he can really be blind!"

One eye shot out and the other one with a scar from a squirel. I lol'd pretty hard

I had never thought that manipulation and eyesight would affect surgeries.  I learned after wondering why my dual powerclaw lvl 20 doctor kept making oopses...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: T3rrabyte on May 19, 2016, 08:53:30 PM
From a Youtube video by Blitzkriegsler:
A colonist has a mental break and decides to attack a tamed bear.

He deserves a slow clap
https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwi_z93Lt-fMAhXCVyYKHfqiCj0QjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fmakeagif.com%2FNVmPAW&psig=AFQjCNGjpN76TTOG8ZXRH-w3jgYQXxRuIA&ust=1463791810383504

The bear mauled him to the verge of death, of course.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: fsovercash on June 01, 2016, 02:27:05 PM
1. My dog was incapped in a fight with pirates. After the fight, my animal handler fed a dead pirate to the dog while it recuperated.
2. A thrumbo walked into the crossfire of a fight between me and some pirates. He killed all of us.
3. I was trying a colony on an ice sheet just for yucks. A lifepod crashed and I rescued to survivor. She recovers and tries to leave during a cold snap, and passes out from hypothermia. I rescue her again. She recovers and tries to leave again. The second time she dies from hypothermia. Guess some people got to get home no matter what the weather is.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: T3rrabyte on June 01, 2016, 10:01:28 PM
I was bored and tried if it is possible to create relationships between animals/animals and colonists/animals with the dev mode... now one of my Wargs has an affair with a colonist >_>
You should use the dev mode and click "start marriage ceremony".
The warg and colonist should have a marriage wherever you put your marriage spot.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on June 03, 2016, 06:41:19 PM
^ Pics or it didn't happen :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Listen1 on June 06, 2016, 07:43:01 AM
Did someone actually try it?

Debuff - My ex-husband married a muffalo,
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Perlex on June 10, 2016, 12:59:24 PM
A hive just spawned inside his cell...I guess he won't be a prisoner anymore  ::)

(http://i.imgur.com/f3OhlKJ.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: T3rrabyte on June 11, 2016, 03:23:24 PM
Did someone actually try it?

Debuff - My ex-husband married a muffalo,
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Jymmie on June 13, 2016, 12:18:26 AM
so I spawned in and there was one of the large rooms with cryopod in it right where i wanted to setup shop. i built it into my wall just because it was the best spot on the map. know there could be a mech or two inside i chose to not open it. about a month later i thought i was ready. had some defenses setup. but to my dismay there where 2 centipedes and 2 scythers and i was like holy shit RIP colony. i was at least smart enough to deconstruct the wall outside of my defences. but as it turns out that that was their home and they stayed there for about two months. so i just locked my doors outside and just let them be.(i had one other way into my base.) anytime visitors or raiders came by they got destroyed  by the mechs until i got the "friendly's coming to help" notice and was prepared to watch the blood bath when they snipe the two scythers from afar and then bust into the room to and killed both centipedes all without losing one pawn. after that i went in and looted about 50 corpses.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The-MathMog on June 13, 2016, 05:14:30 AM
So this just happened...

I am keeping my chickens out in the fields, so I don't have to actively feed them, which would be quite costly, as I now have over 200 chickens..

But.. A siege just landed. And where did they land? RIGHT where most of my chickens were, and it was night so they were sleeping.

Which resulted in 70+ dead chickens, and the raiders wasting a triple rocket launcher on a baby chick haha!

(http://i.imgur.com/yNhj8rE.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DDawgSierra on June 13, 2016, 07:48:55 PM
so I spawned in and there was one of the large rooms with cryopod in it right where i wanted to setup shop. i built it into my wall just because it was the best spot on the map. know there could be a mech or two inside i chose to not open it. about a month later i thought i was ready. had some defenses setup. but to my dismay there where 2 centipedes and 2 scythers and i was like holy shit RIP colony. i was at least smart enough to deconstruct the wall outside of my defences. but as it turns out that that was their home and they stayed there for about two months. so i just locked my doors outside and just let them be.(i had one other way into my base.) anytime visitors or raiders came by they got destroyed  by the mechs until i got the "friendly's coming to help" notice and was prepared to watch the blood bath when they snipe the two scythers from afar and then bust into the room to and killed both centipedes all without losing one pawn. after that i went in and looted about 50 corpses.

I've killed that number immediately after landing with only the pistol and rifle. I had on no mods, just superior tactics. It took ages.  :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on June 14, 2016, 08:55:32 AM
Raiders attack and after all the fighting is finished I notice a dead pirate in the chicken area, so I check to see what killed him ...

(http://i.imgur.com/mOTOOjY.jpg)

It turns out that in the distant future, chickens have teeth!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vaporisor on June 14, 2016, 03:16:01 PM
Ha ha!  Actually chicken with teeth is plausible.  It is redundant genetic code.  Rarely, they will have teeth via mutation.  So for colonies, is plausible they bred toothed chickens to improve survivability.  Is origins of the old saying, rare as hen's teeth.

Atavism can cause some freaky stuff..
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Plymouth on June 17, 2016, 02:01:53 PM
(https://files.slack.com/files-tmb/T07L8SKEY-F1J0GLJR4-c00be248cf/pasted_image_at_2016_06_17_07_56_pm_960.png)

I didn't know that the escaped pawns re-appeared, but this case has definately proven that they do, as well as proving how little pirates care.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Magmaul on July 05, 2016, 04:57:02 PM
Setting up my colony in mountainous tropical rainforest.
My heroic woodcutter Steven Rogers is returning back to the colony. Suddenly he fell asleep in the middle of the kitchen because of sudden Sleeping sickness, so i sent my doc to take him to improvised medical room.
Lying here for about 2 days and the very doc joined him with the same illness. Now my poor medieval oaf must take care about them all with limited starting medicine and Toxic fallout outside. I had a small hope that that one medieval farm oaf with medical skill on 1 could take care of them when he could only cook poisonous potatoes as a simple meal. I think it was just too much on him. He decided to sleep in the freezer.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: nguadien on July 08, 2016, 12:59:26 AM
Once, I had a colony with 10 colonists.
We hunted most beasts, and bought many things from space ships.
We can live on for many years to come, but all my colonists' researching skills is 1 at max.

Then one day, a girl with the title Monarch and the name Fiona visited my colony with her mother, and was surprised so see that her research skill is 17. I had Hospitality mod, so I tried to recruit her, but she turned down the offer and prepared to leave my colony.

In a fit of anger, I snapped and drafted my hunter named Siegfried to closely follow the monarch. Right when her mother is passing by 5 turrets at my entrance, I order the hunter to arrest Fiona asap.

The mother, upon seeing this, brandished a triple rocket launcher and shot down Siegfried before she turned into a bee hive of bullet holes.
Needless to say, I have a new prisoner with a broken heart having a recruitment difficulty of 99 and a crippled hunter with a broken spine.

In the next 3 months, I changed the tiles in Fiona's room to the most beautiful tiles, bought a television for her, and finally a husky, letting it stay in her room.
I expanded her room to 80 space, made wooden walls, installed a bookshelf in her room, changed her bed to a royal golden double bed.

Still she always refused my recruitment offers. Then when I bought a new painkiller spine for Siegfried, I noticed that his negotiation skill is 10. Still much worse that my female doctor with 15 negotiation skill, but I tried to let Siegfried talk to Fiona.
After 1 month of talking, Siegfried persuaded Fiona to join our cause, and 1 month later, she is in love with Siegfried.

They are going to marry and Siegfried bonded with her husky as the husky's new master as well...

They are found 10 days later in theid bed...


dead because a horde of infestation decided to eat everything in my colony.

Note to self: Always place two turrets in each bedroom. Five for the monarch's bedroom
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: fsovercash on July 08, 2016, 08:35:20 AM
I noticed the screen shaking in the middle of the night, and figured something had killed a boomalope. I investigated, and found the explosion site, still burning. The fire set off the another boomalope, which exploded and set off another. It turned into a chain reaction that killed every boomalope in the pack. They all died in their sleep from the fire.
The cause all of this destruction: The first boomalope died of a heart attack.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Le707Warrior on July 12, 2016, 07:27:53 AM
So, I'm playing with an all-Female colony (RIP any male raiders), and for some reason decided to buy our first male; a monkey.
(http://i.imgur.com/S8BDM1Fr.jpg)

Turns out, I made a colony of feminists instead of females.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Failquail on July 12, 2016, 10:11:56 AM
I just had a surgery go a bit wrong.
Got the message about a 'Catastrophic Surgery Failure' or thereabouts and go to look what had happened...

Somehow in the surgery to remove an infected left lung, the doctor got slightly confused and amputated the right arm instead.

Still not sure how a skilled doctor (~15) can bugger up an operation to that magnitude! :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on July 15, 2016, 12:08:19 AM
(http://i.imgur.com/ACi1ZDN.jpg)

I guess that they couldn't take it anymore.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on July 15, 2016, 06:31:11 AM
I just had a surgery go a bit wrong.
Got the message about a 'Catastrophic Surgery Failure' or thereabouts and go to look what had happened...

Somehow in the surgery to remove an infected left lung, the doctor got slightly confused and amputated the right arm instead.

Still not sure how a skilled doctor (~15) can bugger up an operation to that magnitude! :D

check his eyesight.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on July 15, 2016, 06:58:56 PM
I sent a sniper to counter a mortar siege. Not a true sniper, in early game I only had a survival rifle and so did two pirates. Fortunately mine was a careful shooter and they were bad shooters with worse weapons, and I placed him behind a rock chunk.

As the bullets started flying back and forth, a boomrat wandered into the line of fire. My sniper hit it and started a fire. Fire started spreading and pirates rushed to extinguish it. Distracted, they were easy targets.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Wex on July 15, 2016, 09:56:17 PM
It was one of those "Randy moments": first, mechanoid ship. Dealt with mortars and killing the mechanoid in front of my base, right after destroing the ship, pirate raid; so I used my collection of artefacts (many colonists in the hospital), a shock on the triple rocket laucher guy, an insanity on the 14 melee guy with a longsword and so on.
Immediately after routing them, a new raid from different pirates.
They find melee guy on the ground bleeding, they kidnap him and go away.
They could have won.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Sandyyy on July 18, 2016, 01:13:51 AM
Started the new game on alpha14
Built a starting storage area for the food, letting it be close from my people. Oh see, a bunny infestation, free food by tomorrow. Them, next day there was no food anymore cuz all bunnies ate it, and they were all scattered by the end of the map, mos for them already dead... By a human hunting pack. Thanks Randy, the random.

Ever I see a bunny, I laught and let it eat my food. Just funny. Until one of them killed my best melee soldier. A sort of a psychopath bunny. After all the fight, he just walked to eat more of my food.

I love bunnies and I ever tame them. A good multiplying animals I think... However lost my 3 starting pawns just for trying to save a bunny from two Wargs.

Chicken start? Put 20 Chicken at start. In a week you will get 100 chickens. Sort of speed multiplication I think. Ah, them kill them while the "Boomrat virus" is working. A explosion chain :3

Why need the world to burn? Well, I've lost a game with the CrashFall mod because of that. 3 weapon decks and 1 engine could make a fire that you isn't able to handle. Especially when you are into a florest biome.


Epic Surgery Fails: I've seen some of those on the real live and ever thought it was a joke, but when my 17level medic failed a surgery of Removing a leg by removing the pawn hearth... Well, maybe it was a foreign medic that doesn't speak English at all? And understand leg as Hearth maybe.

PrisonBreak: 4 prisoners inside a small cell. 3 Heavily injured colonists and just one pacific colonist alive. The Cell door was stuck by a parka standing on door cell. Prison break make my four prisoners die.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Elodorian on July 26, 2016, 10:27:45 AM
First time happening to me, i got bugs in my Mine... So, i couldn't handle this at the time, duo to a raid I've got so I decided to close them in. And deal with them later. First I forgot about it trying to hold on to my pawns not loosing anyone.
Later I heard someone was digging and I looked and I discovered the first time that this ***** can mine by themselves. So I decided I will burn this sobs with my furnace Mod. I didn't not have enough steel and components for the Furnace. And everything was going against it, Raids, Mad Animals, Man Hunter Packs, Infections, Gut Worms, Bad Mood. Visitors that stabbed each other I had to Rescue. Scythers strolling on the map incapacitating my Hunter. So here is what came out in the time..... nothing to say about this colony was done for.... -->

[attachment deleted by admin - too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: HeadWar on August 01, 2016, 07:37:24 PM
Got hit with Toxic Fallout and Volcanic Winter at once. No stockpiles, since it was supposed to be growing season all year round. Harvest as much as I can, gather up the wild animals as they die off. Fend off a raid or two, trying to keep people busy indoors. My colony leader gets killed when going berserk when we are taking down a psychic ship, charging a minigun Centipede.

The fallout finally lets up, and my remaining colonists start planting, but it is still volcanic winter, so everything grows very slowly. They finally succumb to cannibalism, just to stay alive, waiting for that rice to grow.

Boom! Fire! In my plantations! For some reason I only have two colonists able or willing to firefight, they fight bravely, and manage to save most of the windmills, but as they turn around they realize one of the pyromaniacs has set fire behind them as well. When the smoke clears, nothing edible is left.

It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a cargo pod! Lots of them! With meat! Hallelujah!

Human meat.

Cally has a pretty dark sense of humour.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: RangerRaven on August 07, 2016, 02:30:13 AM
So i'm playing on Chillax AI because the last time i played on classic my whole base got destroyed in massive dry storm plus a raid. So everything ended up burning and my colonists couldn't do anything about it. But anyway my random story is in this chillax game i'm just pleasantly going along building my base when i get visitors that arrive. I've never had anything happen with them before so I never knew they were this psychotic until now because half of them started brawling with each other for no apparent reason. Even though they were on the same side, so i was like "oh this is interesting i wonder who will win." Turns out one of the giant chicks from their group ended up knocking two of them out cold. After this i got a notification saying the guests are taking their wounded to safety or something and then two of them pick up the unconscious two and leave. Now i thought the rest would leave as well except when i go to check on their progress everyone else had stayed behind and were now frantically going along dismantling my mountain base as they tried to dig a tunnel through it. I could only assume they were trying to dig their way out of the map but after a short while half of them spilt off and started to destroy random walls or equipment in my base before running off. At this point the two left tunneling decided to give up as well and just left. Leaving me with my base in ruins and a giant as tunnel leading to nowhere in the side of my base. Sooo... yea... thanks for the free mine shaft i guess? Maybe next time try do that without destroying half my base.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: satch4684 on August 07, 2016, 05:08:37 PM
I have a really short one I think was pretty funny, the doctor lady was treating the old man scientist who had traits that made him pretty susceptible to mental breaks. So he does, and jumps out of bed and attacks her (this is actually why he was in hospital to begin with)

Then she pulls out rifle, shoots him point blank, and goes back to treating him  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ccheuer on August 09, 2016, 06:26:32 AM
Got another funny story, and this one is slightly politically relevant.

So I did I tribal start. It wasn't long before all but one person, a mildly Hispanic looking woman named Viper, died due to raids and w/n.

Suddenly, a wanderer joins, a fat white dude with great hair. I decided to name him Trump, and designate him as my chief builder, as he had 13 construction with a double flame.

For two years, everything was great in my well run, albeit small village.

Suddenly, I see trump walk up to Viper out of the blue, and I get a nice little message that the two were in a social fight, due to Trump insulting Viper.

Next thing I know, Trump is laying in the hospital bed with Viper just watching him. I decide to thumb over to see his wounds. They were:

Right Arm - Broken
Left Leg - Broken
Right Leg - Broken
Neck - Bruised 3x
Sternum - Cracked

and the golden wound, Left arm, Torn completely off.

All I know is, Trump must have really insulted Viper...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Craig1020 on August 12, 2016, 03:05:41 PM
I had a bear that got wasted on beer and attacked a cat, it didn't win, I rescued him and he could walk because he was only drunk. He got wasted again. 10/10 would give bear a beer
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: John_Bigless on August 13, 2016, 04:46:48 AM
i was working on my base and a group of traders shows up, and u know where did they put their tent?

(http://i.imgur.com/Oh0GpJC.jpg?1)
It would be better if the Tent was outside the home area, but not too far from it.
thats right, right infront of my door, they blocked my base so i had to dig the other way around >.< (to the right)
This is one of the reasons I suggested Haplo a trading area.
Only buildable outside, so no trapping can happen, and so no rival faction will start shooting each other in the face. Also they won't block you something vital.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: moneyelf on August 13, 2016, 01:48:16 PM
this was my first Randy Random Rough moments,after this,I decided not to play on RR anymore.

It all started with the victor seed(one person,fuck all),random big flat map in the rainforest.
one day,fifth of winter(5 days after start) a big-ass horde of traders come in
(3 muffaloes,10-15 people armed to the teeth with LMG-s Snipers, kevlar helmets and stuff, selling guns, golden masterwork spears,medicine etc.) then a drystorm wipes them out completely,leaving me,the fresh victor spawn with a basic shelter, butcher table and fueled stove,armed with a wooden club with all this tasty gear and muffaloes, I couldn't even haul it back to my close-by stockpile, a raid of 6 gunmen came, with luck, and a few well-placed grenades I fended them off,leaving me with more gear, next day, alphabeaver HORDE comes,I was pissed,but killed them,that's all good. NEXT DAY(8th of winter) I get the message that a pack of yorkies are joining me,I tought: "fine,I'll check them out." I couldn't even set up their places to separate males from females to avoid puppy overdose,they started humping each other,needless to say,I was pissed like hell.
then a tribal raid came,20 effing people armed with clubs and shortbows,together with a volcanic winter,I fended them off,but it was hard.next thing I know is an eclipse combined with toxic fallout has settled upon me. immediately folowed by a flashstorm. I was just sitting there,mindblown,and I decided in a split-second to ragequit,it was just too much to bear for me. the next victor seed i played was on Phoebe free-play,I just can't,can't play RR.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on August 15, 2016, 06:21:26 PM
I started an ice sheet colony. One of my colonists, Everleigh, suggests a name for the colony, which is just a small cluster of rooms in the cold, and guess what she wants to name it?

Hialeah, which is a town in Florida with a 75-degree Fahrenheit yearly average temperature.
I decided to keep that name due to its sarcastic nature.

"Hey, how about we call this shack Hialeah, due to the lovely climate?"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on August 17, 2016, 12:30:05 PM
This just happened:
https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=3255.msg251583#msg251583

Also see the very next post for the follow-up.  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: CakeOP101 on August 17, 2016, 05:16:56 PM
I was playing Randy challenge on ice sheet, and all the guys that joined wore no pants. The colony died because I researched microelectronics instead of hydroponics...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Alpha393 on August 17, 2016, 07:34:38 PM
I had a surgeon getting ready for an operation while I was off somewhere else planning a building. Out of the corner of my eye I see a pawn walk by in the direction of my wine cellar. When I look back to check on the surgery, I found the main surgeon passed out drunk on the next bed, and my backup surgeon finishing the operation. I have no idea what happened, because my primary surgeon had a brand new bionic hand.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: lex096 on August 20, 2016, 12:10:20 PM
My sniper "accidentally" killed his rival(colonist) who is running(fleeing) around the middle of the firefight.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: John_Bigless on August 20, 2016, 01:20:06 PM
The funniest thing I have seen was my R-4 wielding, power armor wearing 16 shooting and melee skill assassin get killed by a squirrel.
So, one day a prison break happened, he went outdoors just to be beaten up by Blair or Toby, and when he woke up, he saw the hopper to his nutrient paste supply, he began eating it. But he was stopped by Toby, who make him let go of the potatoes and shoved him back into his cell.

When this happens, i always laugh.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Njn0225 on August 20, 2016, 02:59:35 PM
Well once I had a colonist who was depressed, he lost a leg in a fight so I had a surgeon install a peg leg, somehow during the surgery he messed up PUTTING ON A PEG LEG by cutting off his nose and removing one of his kidneys, while installing a PEG LEG, the depressed guy later died from a raid gone wrong.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Motorkingpus on August 21, 2016, 03:40:21 PM
Well once I had a colonist who was depressed, he lost a leg in a fight so I had a surgeon install a peg leg, somehow during the surgery he messed up PUTTING ON A PEG LEG by cutting off his nose and removing one of his kidneys, while installing a PEG LEG, the depressed guy later died from a raid gone wrong.

Did he wake up in a bath tub?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mumblemumble on August 21, 2016, 03:42:40 PM
I saw a doctor vomit on his patient mid surgery from food poisoning....ew...and ow
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Andrewbadger on August 23, 2016, 03:01:15 PM
Another top-notch doctor here:

I ended up with a wounded raider in my prison being tended to be my best doctor, Toni (skill of 10). She gets an infection in her left leg which then spreads to her right arm. Due to a lack of medicine (and game experience) I let the infection get worse until the only option is to amputate the leg. Toni scrubs in, readies her trusty scalpel and successfully removes the limb. However, she obviously got a bit carried away as our poor prisoner now has surgical cuts to her torso, her left arm and, for some reason, has had her STOMACH removed!
In the meantime the infection in her right arm has developed and a second amputation is required. Toni steps up again, and again goes slice-happy, removing BOTH arms and leaving the unfortunate patient with only one limb and no digestive system! They didn't last long after that...

A few weeks later and Toni is back in the operating theatre installing a peg-leg for a raider who had their original limb shot off during their attack. A message pops up telling me that there has been a minor failure during the operation. A second message tells me that the patient died during surgery. "Not very minor, then" I think to myself as I check the health tab, only to discover that my bloodthirsty doctor has taken it upon herself to remove the prisoner's HEAD!

Toni is now know as "Dr Nick"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Aleksh on August 27, 2016, 02:08:47 AM
I had to register just to tell this one
I told my tamer to tame an elephant. After a while I get the message:
"An elephant attacked after a failed taming attempt!
...and the elephants nearby are enraged, too!"
I click on the notification, and my tamer is already down. There was a swarm of around 8 elephants all running to my base. I start panicking and getting all my available colonists to a good spot. I had around 7 colonists, two with a sniper rifle and one with a minigun from another story.
As the elephants got closer, my colonists start attacking. Four elephants went down fairly easily, yet I had to juggle some more as they got a bit close. All the colonists got hit in one way or another.
When all the elephants were down, I thought it was safe, so undrafted everyone and let them do as they need.
Until I saw an elephant rampaging in the base.
"HOLY SHIT" I react as the elephant mows down one of my colonists. At this point my only ranged colonist was running for her life. I put her inside the base which had some incomplete walls. The elephant circled the base looking for her. I drafted her and got her out, to shoot the elephant. The elephant managed to take her leg off and break her jaw. In the end, i sent one of my wounded snipers and killed them. So much meat and tusks...

[attachment deleted by admin - too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: T3rrabyte on August 27, 2016, 08:07:14 PM
The faction names in my newest world:
Comedian's Township

The Gray Plain People

The Bringa of the Desert

The Landmine Men (Also, the leader of this Pirate band has the same name as my dad)

[attachment deleted by admin - too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: eadras on August 28, 2016, 07:56:12 PM
In my last A14 colony, there was a girl named "Sugar".  Sugar had a serious chemical interest, which caused strained relations with one of my other starting colonists, Lucy, who was an abrasive teetotaler.  They got into a few fights early on and basically hated each other's guts.

Enter Sugar's fiancee, Dichter, who joined as a wanderer.  The big day arrives, and the colonists gather for the joyous occasion.  Lucy walks up to Sugar and comments, "that dress makes you look fat."  This drove Sugar into a rage, and she began to fight!  The two proceed to pummel each other black and blue, until Sugar finally gets knocked out.  Naturally, the wedding has been called off, as the bride is rushed to the hospital.

This probably should have been a warning to Dichter that he wasn't marrying the most stable woman around.  Several months later, they went through with the wedding, and Lucy kept her mouth shut this time.  A season later, Sugar suddenly divorced Dichter, for no apparent reason.  Poor Dichter.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: CallMeDio on August 28, 2016, 10:00:42 PM
I was trying to operate a raider prisoner that had just gained a peg leg to replace his lost leg, I don't remember exactly what the surgery was but the doctor made a mistake and turns out he made a cut in the peg leg, and it WAS BLEEDING.

After a raider fight one of my initial colonists named Sasquatch had about 3 rifle shots on his torso one of them in the lung, and a finger or hand shot off, if I remember all right, all fresh and bleeding, and then after the fight was over he casually went to the fridge, picked up a potato meal, went to the table, sited, ate his meal while chatting with the cook, and after that he walked to the hospital.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Gyropilot on August 30, 2016, 12:40:30 AM
I saw a doctor vomit on his patient mid surgery from food poisoning....ew...and ow
This made me laugh so hard! Hahahaha
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ashira on September 02, 2016, 02:48:41 PM
It's my 3rd game and I'm playing Random Randy at the 2nd lowest difficulty. My colony had 6 or 7 people, but a simultaneous fire inside the base (with a bunch of colonists unable to firefight) and a raid kill everyone but one dude. Who's the survivor? I don't remember his name, but let's call him Pedro. The yellow colors are gonna be Pedro's thoughts.

Pedro is incapable of 8 things or so, so I'm not really happy he's the one that survives. However, we have 2 prisoners, and Pedro can at least do social. So I'm hoping we can recruit them ASAP.

5 seconds after the disasters had taken place, corpses still everywhere, one of the prisoners goes berserk. Great.

I don't care if Pedro dies, but I do if a prisoner dies, so I decide to go there with a club and hit the berserk one a few times on the head, only so the prisoners don't kill each other. Still, Pedro somehow loses to the unarmed prisoner and he's downed.

"Ok, I'm gonna die by my wounds.  :( "  No one can rescue Pedro and he has his face in the snow (yup, it's also snowing, a lot). The berserk prisoner escapes and starts attacking my animals. She's trucidated.

Then, one of my dogs start rescuing the animals. "Oh yeah, I have a dog. He can rescue!  :) " He likes other animals more than Pedro, but hey. I check Pedro's health and he just has a few cracks and bruises, no bleeding, nothing serious. He should be fine if he could rest.

The ***king dog takes a full day before he rescues Pedro. "  >:( " But ok, Pedro is in the bed now. "I'll live!  ;D "

I fast forward, of course, because nothing is happening. And I realize I was silly thinking Pedro could recover by himself. Days pass by and his cracks and bruises are all still the same and he's incapacitated, but now he's getting malnutrition quite slowly. "I'll die by malnutrition.  :( "

Then I get the message: Someone is trying to escape from pirates and will join my colony if I offer safety. Well, welcome, but you'll have to defend yourself! New dude shows up, first thing I do is equip him with a weapon. Second thing is to turn on the turrets. I make sure he can doctor and wait. "Yay, someone will take care of me, I'll live!  ;D "

Thing is, by then, quite a few days have passed since Pedro was dog-rescued and his malnutrition is quite severe. New dude is taking care of Pedro, but he's doctoring before feeding him. I think to myself that surely something will happen and Pedro will starve to death before he can be fed.

The pirates are not a problem, they're easily killed by the turrets. Everything seems alright. New dude is already on his way back to Pedro's room, carrying yummy food.

BOOM! Fire. AGAIN.

**&@#$35$ˆ%&@1.

New guy can't firefight either, but he could still reach Pedro with the food. However I remember how, last time, the fire got the base temperature over 600 degrees very, very quickly, so I'm afraid of risking new guy. "Goddamnit I'll be burned alive while it's hard snowing outside, I'm starving and just got a few bandages over those cracks from a week ago.  :'( " Bad luck Pedro, I guess.

I tell new guy to take care of other things and the fire slowly retreats. It seems safe to try again. "Oh, it looks like I will live. Phew!  :P "

He opens Pedro's room.

Pedro dies of malnutrition.




TL;DR:
- Sole colonist Pedro was attacked and downed by human fists;
- Animal from the base rescues Pedro;
- Pedro's wounds won't kill him but he can't be healed either so he starts getting malnutrition;
- A wanderer joins;
- Pedro's room is in fire before wanderer can feed him;
- Pedro survives the fire;
- Wanderer tries to feed Pedro;
- Pedro finally dies by malnutrition.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dingus on September 06, 2016, 10:09:15 PM
When your colonists eat raw meat for literally no reason.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: TomassoTomasso on September 07, 2016, 01:50:50 AM
My current colony was coing pretty great. I am a new player and got to thinking I had found a balance between progress and sustainability with my 5 pawns. Boy, was I wrong. The miserable times started when my cook got killed in a raid, much to the despair of her lover, Curt. Luckily for Curt, literally 2 minutes after the cooks death he finds love with Lumi the Huntress and eventually marries her. Hey, this might even work out in the end....

Think again. I get a message a pack of manhunting boomalopes entering the area.. Pff no biggie, I'll hide inside since Curts wedding is going on there anyway. Hey look traders... Wait.. Friendlies to? They're not gonna attack the boomalopes on top of my turrets are they? Oh they are? Well got rid of those 8 boomalopes at the cost of 4 turrets and a solar panel. No biggie, as long as we don't get a raid right now.

Ah! Great, a raid by three personal shield, kevlar helmet rocking brawlers. I's okay.. I've got Lumi the bad ass brawler with good gear myself and she'll beat the snot out of them honeymoon or not..

It ends with Curt burrying a lover and his wife Lumi within 5 minutes of each other. Poor Curt.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Supert on September 07, 2016, 03:20:29 AM
I had dude with trait "Dislikes women" and dudette with trait "Masochist". They started social fight, then they beat shit out of each other and on the next day became lovers.

Rimworld: Fifty shades of pawns. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: John_Bigless on September 07, 2016, 12:17:47 PM
I had dude with trait "Dislikes women" and dudette with trait "Masochist". They started social fight, then they beat shit out of each other and on the next day became lovers.

Rimworld: Fifty shades of pawns. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Did the masochist or the woman start the fight?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Supert on September 07, 2016, 04:46:39 PM
I had dude with trait "Dislikes women" and dudette with trait "Masochist". They started social fight, then they beat shit out of each other and on the next day became lovers.

Rimworld: Fifty shades of pawns. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Did the masochist or the woman start the fight?
Woman had masochist trait, man had "dislikes woman" trait. He insulted her, she started social fight.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Nitro1248 on September 12, 2016, 07:45:57 AM
Once, starting a fairly normal game,
As soon as the game started, I noticed a dead turtle
Checking on its health tab, I find it's head is gone
No other injuries just Head: Gone (fresh)
I assume that this turtle spawned without a head, due to a glitch
What?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dingus on September 13, 2016, 12:42:57 AM
Once, starting a fairly normal game,
As soon as the game started, I noticed a dead turtle
Checking on its health tab, I find it's head is gone
No other injuries just Head: Gone (fresh)
I assume that this turtle spawned without a head, due to a glitch
What?
Any kind of wildlife? Crushed by a falling roof from a dodgy map generation?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Simon_The_Space_Engineer on September 13, 2016, 08:09:04 PM
Once i had a colonist have the roof of a mountain collapse on them because i accidentally marked one to many rows of rock to be mined. They walked away with a few bruises giving no shits about how a mountain collapsed on their head, but they then later complained because the scar they had was hurting
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dingus on September 14, 2016, 09:08:50 PM
Once i had a colonist have the roof of a mountain collapse on them because i accidentally marked one to many rows of rock to be mined. They walked away with a few bruises giving no shits about how a mountain collapsed on their head, but they then later complained because the scar they had was hurting
lol try to leave some supports or something. I've lost quite a few pawns to cave-ins.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Natah_Bish on September 18, 2016, 11:33:53 PM
I managed to knock unconscious an enemy tribe member little did I know it was a head shot, this caused permanent brain damage to the enemy. Still I captured him (not realizing it was brain damage at first), feeling bad I tried to keep him alive (my colonists were starving themselves) but he lived... for a while. I slowly lost interest in just keeping him alive and managed to take a lung, 2 eyes, kidney, and his nose. Feeling bad I enthused him using medicine to make his last moments calm. I then built in his cell a sarcophagus to honor him (yes a prisoner who tried to kill me). Little did I know the art that was designed on was of my doctor preforming a "surgery" (harvesting body parts) on Karo (the prisoner), so my honoring did not go so well but it makes a great story! If you read this whole thing congrats!!!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on September 20, 2016, 08:39:38 PM
I had a wild warg start hunting one of my colonists, however they had a Heavy SMG and were near sandbags and a colonist with a Machine Pistol, so it was killed easily. The colonists there weren't even undrafted before another warg started hunting THE SAME PERSON, only to get gunned down like the first one.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on September 21, 2016, 09:23:51 PM
Not exactly the funniest thing I've ever seen, but I shut off the cooler to mine some steel that was in the exhaust vent passage, and a colonist decided to throw a party in the middle of that. That's a great way to take advantage of a short maintenance window. (A maintenance window is a railroad term referring to a set time that a track is out of service for repair. On commuter and subway lines, this is often at night. On all lines it is scheduled to take advantage of natural lulls in traffic. I wanted to do the maintenance then because the cooler had shut off anyway due to the lack of power.)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Dingus on September 23, 2016, 01:14:44 AM
Not exactly the funniest thing I've ever seen, but I shut off the cooler to mine some steel that was in the exhaust vent passage, and a colonist decided to throw a party in the middle of that. That's a great way to take advantage of a short maintenance window. (A maintenance window is a railroad term referring to a set time that a track is out of service for repair. On commuter and subway lines, this is often at night. On all lines it is scheduled to take advantage of natural lulls in traffic. I wanted to do the maintenance then because the cooler had shut off anyway due to the lack of power.)

lol you should have turned the cooler back on and watched them melt from the ridiculous temperature generated from the exhaust.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Morze on September 23, 2016, 04:43:16 AM
Not probably the funniest thing I've seen in the game, but once I had a sniper dispatching a siege in quite interesting way. As you all know, siegers have to build their mortars themselves. Well, I had the said sniper a grenadier building that. Two shots, two arms missing. For a second the enemy pawn just stood there, his grenade now fallen to ground, mortar unfinished and his arms gone. The he turned and started wandering. First aid is for pussies.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on September 29, 2016, 10:49:57 AM
visitor spawned on the edge of the map and then fell over (tripped over) for a moment. I almost fell off my chair with laughter :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on October 01, 2016, 09:40:48 PM
I had a manhunter pack and I forbid all the doors so my colonists needed something to do during this time. I decided to change some interior bedroom walls from wood to stone, so I set the wooden walls to be deconstructed. Of course the mountain collapses (I have a mountain base) in the storeroom next to the bedroom, and the ONLY thing it crushes is the thousand-dollar AI core and not any of the $20 clothes around it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mumblemumble on October 04, 2016, 08:01:51 PM
I had dude with trait "Dislikes women" and dudette with trait "Masochist". They started social fight, then they beat shit out of each other and on the next day became lovers.

Rimworld: Fifty shades of pawns. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
THAT is funny.

In all seriousness, assuming everyone was ok with it, that would be a kinda hot way to start a relationship (assuming no serious injuries). Not to say it would be functional, or healthy, but it would be kinda hot.

And the idea of a girl getting all blushy, smiling and intrigued after being smacked down after she got violent.. ...That mental image is just TOO entertaining.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: avilmask on October 13, 2016, 10:56:09 AM
Marriage is on, and during marrying "raid" message comes up. It happen to be a single scyther poded right next to marrying place. Not sure if scripted... But it always good when there's something to remember about your marriage day, right?

Also once I got an escape pod with a very good stated women, but she got a g-juice addiction. That thing decreases consciousness by 35%. To compensate a huge mood drop from recovering, she had to use a smokeleaf, so it's another -30%. And it was an ice sheet challenge, so every time she got on short walk outside the base she fainted. Had to lock her inside the base eventually :)
Also funny, that whole first half of a year I had escape pods and raids with siblings, children and parents. And I couldn't feed regulary even my own colonists, so I had to leave them freeze (or get killed while defending). I never had anything like that in my regular mild or tropical runs, so it was extra challenging x)

Also pretty normal story about the "wanderer, who joins". Neurotic ~45 years old, with huge scar, stacking rebuffs all day (he got 4x from one woman and 2x from another at once, both married), makes heavy social fights. "Accidentally" shot his rival during a raid. The last drop was when he made another social fight, and then berserkered while being healed by a doctor after it. He died from lethal dose of lead in his body. No one missed him... Except -3 for colonist's death.

Also on the ice sheet map, there is less risk of bugs, so I made my base in huge mountain. And all suppers were trying to dig through mountains that not even adjusted to mine. Weird.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Lyker on October 19, 2016, 12:41:06 PM
My gosh, some of these stories are awesome haha. I'll share one of mine too:

I started a new game and decided to give myself a piggy for fun. Eventually it learned to haul and nothing else. At some point there was a group of raiders, and I went to intercept them. Obviously my piggy stayed behind. Somehow a raider managed to get past my troops, and since I had no turrets yet, it made it's way into the base. I sent my troops back, but the raider was too quick and started to melee attack my piggy. My troops were quite far away, so it took a while for them to get back. I had to watch my piggy get beaten up by a raider with a club, but my piggy wasn't going down that easy! It fought back for a while, and right before my troops could help, the piggy won.

It was a 1 versus 1 fight and I was amazed by how the raider lost to my pig.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chaos90 on October 25, 2016, 08:04:25 PM
So, this just happened: I'd been playing this colony for 9 hours, 92 in  game days have passed, with no major events, no colonist deaths, just a few minor heart attacks like the flashstorm that burned down the steel wall containing a centipede and 4 very angry people. Luckily, the pede was downed and the 4 enemies rushed me 1 at a time, giving me ample time to pick them off.

Then this happened: I get a notification about a pack of manhunters, go to see what's up and see a group of 10-15 wild boars storming at me. I position the people who can actually fire a gun and have one in strategic locations and open fire. 2 seconds later, 2 of them are downed and the others beat a hasty retreat to within the walls. The warning said something about hiding behind doors, so I keep everyone restricted to the interior of the base. 4 seconds later, I'm scrambling to get everyone as far back in the base as possible because they broke down the door. I desperetaly try to fight them off, but there are just to many of them. 1 minute later, all 9 of my colonists are laying on the ground, severely beaten up and unable to do anything. Fast forward a day or 2 and they all die of blood loss, leaving me with a base with 9 skeletons in it while the boars finally decide to move on.

Hint taken, game. Don't slack off on defenses, just because it's been easy so far.

Update: Figured I'd see what happens next since I really like this base so far. A couple of days later the first new colonist event happens, it's a space drop in and I have to watch her bleed to death.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DirectorBright on November 08, 2016, 11:14:43 PM
Decided to bring a hen and a rooster using the Prepare Carefully mod instead of a knife and a dog. I figured I could get some hens and have eggs for fine meals.

Fast forward a season, there's now 20+ chicks and all the food is gone.

Never again.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Engineer817 on November 11, 2016, 02:44:45 AM
My funniest story was a prisoner that refused to join my tribe, and throughout the game I had kept 3 of my original tribe members alive and happy, but one had a heart condition...

It had to be done
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FancyMancy on November 11, 2016, 07:43:32 AM
The conversation between Raygun and Clark.

Raygun: Clark,why are you hauling the clothing of the corpses that we trained on on the Meditrain(TM)?

Clark: because...we need clothing?

Raygun: Winter is coming! You need to start hauling the food so they wont rot before the winter decides to duck us up!

Berg: *Hauls the cotton*

Raygun: *Facepalm* Guys...Guys...Guys...

Clark: Fine,i'll haul this corn.

*After hauling a stack*

Raygun: ...Goddamnit,Clark! KEEP HAULING THE CORN-

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Posswam on November 11, 2016, 09:03:15 AM
When I first started playing Rimworld I tried a little experiment to see if I could lure raiders with booby-trapped gold. 

I put a small pile of gold in a little room on the other side of the map, then I had someone lay 3 or 4 IED's in there.  I thought it was incredibly clever, but no one ever went for it so after a while I forgot the room was there. 

Later on the base was getting really messy so I set someone's cleaning priority to '1'.  What I didn't know at the time is that the booby-trapped room would be considered part of the 'home' area, so my pawn scooted off to give it a good polish.  Unfortunately I realised what they were doing about a second before they started sweeping on top of an IED... and got blown into a million tiny pieces.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DirectorBright on November 14, 2016, 09:23:29 PM
I had a colonist nicknamed Secure who ditched the builder for a slave girl.
Guess his relationship status wasn't very secure.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on November 15, 2016, 10:34:15 AM
So I just got raided by 6 pirates during nightthyme. They came from the north where one of my pregnant Alpacas (gotta love those OP Dusters!) was sleeping on the ground. They all stopped and started shooting at it, which was quite futile given that x0.2 multiplicator for targets laying on the ground. Two of them got shot before the Alpaca got hit and ran away. Downed another one with my pawns. A wild boomrat appeared, right next to a raider. I suppose it was my sniper who missed the pirate. Instakilled the Boomrat instead. It blew up, lit the pirate on fire. Pirates panicked and ran. Left me 2 charge rifles!


PS:
Decided to bring a hen and a rooster using the Prepare Carefully mod instead of a knife and a dog. I figured I could get some hens and have eggs for fine meals.

Fast forward a season, there's now 20+ chicks and all the food is gone.

Never again.
Try Colony Manager. From what I've seen, it lets you set how many chicken, alpacas, etc. you want and slaughters the excess. Can also tame and set individual numbers for adults/babies and males/females. Haven't tried out myself since it's not safegame proof. ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tortoise Lover on November 19, 2016, 09:33:38 AM
I was once attacked by 30+ manhunting Yorkshire Terriers early game. Thinking that simply holing myself up for a few days was just letting good meat pass I decided I could take them on. I was horribly wrong and everything spiraled into utter chaos with most of my colonist cowering in the rec room. Trying to scavenge whatever pride I had left, I decided to defend from a little ventilation tunnel I made. A little pig decided to go for a walk at just the right moment and boom, all the doggies just lined up to die. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on December 03, 2016, 07:46:41 PM
All my animals were locked in the bar, starving. (I kept forgetting to let them out.) I slaughtered one of the pigs and all the animals, (5 pigs, 6 cows, 4 muffaloes, and a rhino) all crowded around the corpse and ate it completely. I think the animals can all leave the barn for awhile.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on December 05, 2016, 09:54:43 AM
I was just waiting for my colonists to recover from flu to attack that psychic ship that has landed west of my defenses when an exotic goods trader arrived from the east. Cool, I was thinking, maybe I can abuse them as bait for the mechanoids! I read that in the forums all the time that this is ok to do so anyway. It didn't came that far tho, because 10 seconds later, 6 manhunter elephants appeared from the north. Ok, gonna roll with that, "colonists, hide inside!". The traders also had 4 wargs with them. Unfortunately, traders are cowards, they soon started to flee. They downed only 1 elephant for me, at the cost of 1 Muffalo, 1 Warg, 5 of 6 traders. The only notable drop is a bionic arm that I would've bought anyway. Might be able to save the downed trader scum and get 30 goodwill.

Edit: Corrected the numbers.
I'm also aware that this story is not very unique, people actually exploit the game to get that. lmao
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Goldenpotatoes on December 05, 2016, 09:56:11 PM
An infestation popped up in my mine, so I sent my colonists in to deal with it, one including a grenadier. He softened up the big bugs as they pushed, but I forgot that colonists in Rimworld have no concept of foresight. As the bugs advance to almost melee-range for my brawler to keep it at bay, he proceeds to drop a grenade at everyone's feet.

Grenadier blows off his own legs outright and leaves everyone but the heavily-armored brawler incapacitated, who proceeds to succumb to the bug-rush after being pin-cushioned with shrapnel.


I want to be upset but the three stooge's level of incompetence was too much to bare. It wasn't a great colony anyway.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on December 06, 2016, 08:38:30 AM
Double peg leg colonist fleeing and then death by meerkat horde after I didn't want to hunt them because I thought they looked nice (meerkat mod https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=27782.0)

Painful (only human colonist in a orassan colony) getting upset every day for two seasons only for me to realise that I've force them to sleep in a -10C room every night.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ruddthree on December 06, 2016, 10:53:20 AM
Having 6 thousand potatoes in my freezer in A12 was pretty cool. I was all like "I'm set for the rest of eternity!", then I turn off my hydroponics basins because my freezer was filling up, and to grow other crops that I just found out existed, and those 6k potatoes were gone in about a year...oops.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: joebob1337 on December 06, 2016, 03:36:01 PM
Alpha 14 run, Hardcore SK pack. I was doing pretty well, 3 years in when my frames started to drop. I thought it was my computer overheating so I turned it off. When I returned it was still frame-ey. Then I thought it was just because of my large colony so I set the speed to two. The frames were still dropping, now I'm not even getting a single frame a second so I pause the game to see what's happening and I kid you not, there were LITTERAL THOUSANDS of wargs at the top of the map. I used the debug explosion on the mass but they kept spawning like ten per second! I got a good chuckle from it after it crashed my game.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: zathura on December 13, 2016, 12:32:11 PM
Not the funniest thing -ever-, but the only thing I have screenshots of, which makes it better. :p

On my latest colony, I got a notification that a social fight had broken out. A second later, a colonist needed rescuing...

Alas, I was too late.

(https://varietalenthusiast.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/teresa-rebuffed-2.jpg?w=980)

Aghast, I looked to see what happened...

(https://varietalenthusiast.files.wordpress.com/2016/12/teresa-rebuffed-1.jpg?w=914)

o.O He rebuffed her advances...so she stabbed him to death?

Pretty sure everybody started being overly nice and accommodating to Teresa after that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OFWG on December 13, 2016, 12:44:03 PM
A social knife fight? Go home Rimworld, you're drunk
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: zathura on December 13, 2016, 12:52:44 PM
A social knife fight? Go home Rimworld, you're drunk

Lol, it was probably berserk, but I choose to interpret it this way. :p
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: LaEsmeralda on December 15, 2016, 12:43:48 AM
This is a story i like to call... "Jono's the worst hunter ever"

It started on the colony's first week; i had four colonists, all completely unprotected and not that good at fighting, and only two of them with long range guns. And yet, i thought it was a good idea to try to hunt down the Thrumbo that had just appeared!
So my hunter Jono was all like "Nah, it's no big deal", walked outside the house, and shot it.
...five seconds later, he was laying unconscious on the ground.
Rozalina went out and rescued Jono, but then ended up knocked out; Speights tried to rescue Rozalina and ended up knocked out; Tomomi tried to rescue Speights and ended up knocked out. And the Thrumbo had barely gotten a scratch. So basically i ended up with three of my colonists lying on the ground in shock, the other one bleeding out in his bed, and with an angry Thrumbo walking around them.
Luckily, after a few hours of inmense agony, the Thrumbo calmed down and Jono recovered and could go out and rescue the other guys. They spent the next few days in bed and taking turns to heal each other.

Oh, but it gets better. Weeks later, some boomrats walk in and one of them starts attacking no other than Jono.
And what does Jono do? He fights them back. 
All of them jumped over him and murdered him in an instant. Then, they surrounded the building and i had to forbid my other colonists to go out so they wouldn't suffer the same fate: they had to spend the whole day indoors, wasting time, until the boomrats starved to death. Rozalina ended up having a mental breakdown and locking herself in her room, while Speights spend all hours crying at his friend's body and nearly went crazy himself.

So yeah, Jono. Great job. Your hunting skills nearly doomed the entire colony... twice :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on December 15, 2016, 03:25:13 AM
Seems to be a Layer 8 problem. Thrumbo description says "extremely dangerous". I wouldn't dare to attack them with less than 6 charge rifles ...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: idlebones on December 24, 2016, 08:00:54 PM
Captured some guy from a pod crash with AWESOME skillz, turns out he's got a Go-Juice addiction. So I steal all his stuff and lock him behind a steel door, set Prisoner tab to chat but no recruit, so he's stuck in there and he can't do anything seriously dangerous until his withdrawal's over. Didn't realize how long it would take.

At the time of writing, poor Rush has been trapped in there for half a year. His withdrawal is at 50%. He's been through some tough times along with the colony - forced to consume raw human flesh, spent a long week sleeping in sub-zero temperatures and battling hypothermia, briefly assaulted by our beloved Tanya Shion (her traits are Bloodlust, Psychopath and Cannibal, so maybe we should have expected this).

Every time the withdrawal causes a mental break, I just send someone to beat him unconscious with a wooden club.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Rhine on December 26, 2016, 06:47:46 PM
This (https://i.gyazo.com/ca2e4cbab0d502fa22e8fc6d2bbafcdf.png)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ddblue0 on December 27, 2016, 01:50:01 AM
Scene #1
I had my last two surviving colonists, slowly freezing/starving to death, take turns fainting and feeding each other the raw corpses of other deceased colonists.

I thought they were dead for sure, but this behavior bought them a few extra minutes of life.

It was actually kind of sweet.

Scene #2 (same game as above)
I had one colonist slam the frozen corpse of another colonist down onto the dining table in the main chow hall, take 2 bites out of him (20% of body missing after, so they were pretty big bites), and then immediately head outside to build a snowman.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DanielLakatos on December 29, 2016, 07:04:55 AM
When sappers are mining their way around your defenses.

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on December 29, 2016, 08:37:02 AM
Ever got attacked by a manhunter pack of 24x Boomalopes? Premature new years firewörks i'd say. Boom!

*they're slow, big and explosive! and it started to rain the moment it was over.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Houkime on December 29, 2016, 04:13:21 PM
Sea Ice.
Windy snowy night.
-30 degrees C
Escape pod lands near edge of the map.
An injured spacer with good hyperweave clothing.

Sending pawn with a survival rifle to "rescue" him to an outdoors sleeping spot (to strip him, kill him and butcher him right after transport)

It was a long way though darkness and howling winds...

Suddenly a heavily injured spacer gets up and slowly heads out from map, leaving a bloody trail on the snow towards the edge.

Ok, no more rescue masquerade. Drafting my pawn and trying to shoot.
Too far. After a weird chase scene (I really want to rescue you! Don't look at the gun! I have a warm place!) bleeding half-alive spacer escapes to the deadly frozen night.

Some people don't want to do something good with their life and clothes and instead go waste it in eternal snowy planes bleeding.

But maybe he just didn't see me and thought he is dead anyway.
A lighthouse would be good.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on December 30, 2016, 08:52:53 AM
I use raid survivors (A15) as training dummies for my doctors, installing the usual two peg legs and a denture. I wish I could amputate all kind non vital limbs as well, but ok. I release them when I'm finished, because killing murderers is bad for your mood. Tater had the terrible luck to survive a second time (it seems a sniper rifle has destroyed his left peg leg, cause no bleeding). After my Huskies didn't eat him for breakfast, I impatiently decided to burn him alive using some boomrats. Can't slaughter them anway. His mood buffs are a bit ... hard to believe to say the least.

tl;dr: Guys burns alive while "feeling good +4" and "I'd better steel myself to survive" ya, you recon you are on fire?!

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ruddthree on January 03, 2017, 07:33:53 PM
So I've officially "beaten" my first A16 colony...to death.

I had sent father-daughter duo, Duster(my favorite character...) and Sammy, off to the fabled ship site. Their caravan had not even left for 5 minutes when a physic ship crashed near the colony. Little did I know, Duster and Sammy were my two most valuable hunters, one of them equipped with a charge rifle.

I thought "Eh, I have 12 more colonists, this'll be a piece of cake!" And I marched my colonists into the fray. Within 2 minutes, 9 colonists had lost their lives, and the remaining 3 were limping back to base in sheer terror.

I was forced with three terrible choices: 1) Wait until Duster and Sammy get to the ship in 3 seasons (45 days), 2) Watch my three colonists suffer for those three seasons, or 3) Quit, put the colony up on the shelf to collect dust, and hang my head in shame.

I chose the third option due to laziness...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 05, 2017, 10:47:33 AM
Look at those super advanced scalpels they have in 5504! Sharp enough to almost cut through a peg leg in one cut. But that's not the end of the story, peg legs will make some progress in the next 3.500 years too. This one here can heal itself after said cut. Almost bionic!

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: FridayBiology on January 06, 2017, 06:45:51 PM
2 colonists were sleeping in the animal freezer. I'm like "oh, time to make a bed, I've got enough wood to build a double beds and a few short bows" next moment "Kate and Jess have become lovers" guess I should've build just one bed then :P
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: matthewgareth on January 08, 2017, 02:07:35 AM
This (gonna get funnier the longer i play) (waiting for great great great great great grandkids)

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 08, 2017, 04:19:39 AM
How far do RimRelations go? I thought it's over after Grandchild.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 11, 2017, 05:51:02 PM
I just had exotic goods traders do most of my poison ship. As I'm about to remove the scyther blades for profit, I discover that you can put downed scythers in your ship! Droids will come in handy when my ship crashlands.
It doesn't stop with the cryptosleep sickness, the scyther vomited all over my ship two minutes after I took that screen. Tynan, are you sure those are mechanoids?

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: matthewgareth on January 11, 2017, 08:53:11 PM
I just had exotic goods traders do most of my poison ship. As I'm about to remove the scyther blades for profit, I discover that you can put downed scythers in your ship! Droids will come in handy when my ship crashlands.
It doesn't stop with the cryptosleep sickness, the scyther vomited all over my ship two minutes after I took that screen. Tynan, are you sure those are mechanoids?

Cool
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: yaboitripgaming on January 12, 2017, 12:21:30 PM
Join me on Youtube!!! I'm a new channel so I can talk with everyone and socialize. I'm willing to put subscribers in my game. I'm super interested in building a community that I can kick back and play games with. Rimworld is currently the only game I have posted.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv2yS5X6OX6B1HmVCqb9FTQ
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: skullywag on January 12, 2017, 01:13:40 PM
Join me on Youtube!!! I'm a new channel so I can talk with everyone and socialize. I'm willing to put subscribers in my game. I'm super interested in building a community that I can kick back and play games with. Rimworld is currently the only game I have posted.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCv2yS5X6OX6B1HmVCqb9FTQ

This is very offtopic, you have a post in the video section, keep the advertising to that please.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: muffins on January 16, 2017, 06:48:58 PM
(http://i.imgur.com/G11wCV1.jpg)

They're taking a break
*badda-bish*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: protocol47 on January 20, 2017, 01:04:16 AM
An enthusiastic miner with no concept of privacy.

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on January 20, 2017, 10:11:32 AM
In Alpha16, there must have been some undocumented change about the way pawns heal. I've seen a raider I left to die get up and slowly crawl away.

But the kicker was an escape pod. I saved the game, then returned to the game day later, and scrolled back to base to find someone to do the rescuing. When I scrolled back, I've found a trail of blood leading to the edge of the map. The space refugee got better and left.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Panzer on January 21, 2017, 05:47:04 AM
I love it when that happens ;D


(https://i.imgur.com/n693b4j.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 21, 2017, 04:35:51 PM
Playing in tundra with Cassandra rough. During early game, I'm still struggling with food, a Thrumbo spawns. Great, not only do I lack the manpower to kill it, I also have to hide my meals inside. *thrumbo self-tame* Neat. Free meat, exactly what I needed. Gotta euthanize it for free xp before it eats any food. One second after the anesthesia hits: *raid* I could've used that meatshield! :@

Some time later, same run: *rare Thrumbo*, a few seconds later *raid*. Can I enrage it to help me beat up the tribals? ... I can ^^
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DirectorBright on January 22, 2017, 04:25:55 AM
I just had a level 11 doctor in an advanced medical facility attempt to install a bionic ear.

The "Strong Expert" managed to cut his patient's head off.

I started a new colony after that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Psyra on January 22, 2017, 10:21:21 PM
(http://psyra.ca/stuff/wutda.jpg)
'I -think- that just means the husky's getting fat and lazy...'

(http://psyra.ca/stuff/suspenders.jpg)
'Suspenders and suspenders. Green and green.'
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Brutetal on January 23, 2017, 12:53:46 PM
Well, the very first colony I started had some real trouble recently.
Playing on a flat tempered forest, decided to settle centric. There were some old buildings so I used them as for a start. Left to my first three "houses" was a big, endarked, square-shaped "mountain". After one month I decided to dig the steel out, in comes the ancient danger warning so I left it. And forgot it almost. After four months comes a raid with sappers. I didn't see them, until I got "Fire!" messages spammed in my screen and thought "what the".
Quick check. Oh dear god. They dug into the darn old crypta or whatnot that is and awakened the scyther there.
One of the raiders had an incendiary rifle at him. He set literally the whole crypta in flames. The poor five dudes which were chilling in their pods crawled out, caught fire and were ripped apart by the scyther AND raiders.
They didn't make it. After the flames killed three of the five raiders, the scyther chased the fleeing, heavy injured two that survived and sliced em to pieces. Luckily the scyther was also wounded. One shot from my sniper and he went down.
Went in, took lots of loot and enjoyed the view of the aftermath of the slaughter.
I live this game :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 23, 2017, 01:41:04 PM
I just had a guy complain about a pawn being kidnapped, but instead of ransom demands firing, the faction leader died and the abducted girl became the new leader. Poor fellow might not get her back.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Pushover on January 23, 2017, 02:05:11 PM
Had a Mechanoid drop with 2 scythers and some centipedes. I was not paying attention to my animals, and a puppy had wandered out of my base. Scythers both acquired the puppy. First shot misses, second shot hits... the other scyther, taking out its leg. That is how my puppy beat a scyther.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: zathura on January 27, 2017, 03:01:32 PM
Playing in boreal forest, and trying to only take in colonists that are worthwhile; an escape pod landed, and the guy was useless, but he had hyperweave and synthread clothing, which I wanted to either use or sell, and wanted to get it off him before he died.

Rather than sending someone out to strip him, I had them "capture" him, and waited till they got reasonably close to the base, then drafted / undrafted them to reset their task, and stripped him so that they wouldn't have to trek all the way across the map.

Figured it'd take him a while to freeze to death, but the moment my colonist headed back to the warmth of the indoors, I watched a timber wolf sidle up next to the guy and kill and eat him.

It was such perfect timing. XD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on January 29, 2017, 06:35:10 PM
I just had a guy complain about a pawn being kidnapped, but instead of ransom demands firing, the faction leader died and the abducted girl became the new leader. Poor fellow might not get her back.

Apparently he did get her back:
https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=29855.0

Also, Cassandra's War on Drugs (https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=29961.0) has many excellent stories in it. :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Brutetal on January 29, 2017, 07:12:30 PM
Today was a sad day for my colony.

The lover of my hard working constructor Phanos was chased by pirates. So we saved her. Well, my turrets saved her. Clumsy pirates went straight into my hall of death heh.
The two were happy, got some good ol' lovin' that night... And she broke up with him the next day.
Of course I didn't check her health and didn't see her smokeleaf addicition. Suddenly she went on a drug binge... And smoked the flake we do for selling purposes.
So I decided to arrest her until the addicitions are overcome. After her third (!) breakdown and berserk, the last one did cost her a foot, I soöd her to a passing pirate ship... In exchange for a damn good doctor (17 medicine woop).
Didn't know addictions are so hard.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on January 30, 2017, 05:02:15 PM
I just had 40ish Boomrats go manhunter. Walled myself in (one entrance only) and decided to wait it out, like the 17x wargs vs 4 colonists earlier this run. Climate cycle made temperatures rise quickly to -20°C and I got a bulk goods trader. Oh, nice, I'll finally see a caravan beaten to death before they flee. Boomrats are fast and hard to hit after all. Turned out the fiery power of them is not only sufficient to down a muffalo, it goes above and beyond. Boomrats swarm around the poor traders, sparking chain reactions, people are screaming, muffalos on fire are running around. I'm sure you know the game "the floor is lava". Everything gets lit on fire, there's even a polar bear that turned revenge manhunter in the worst possible moment. The fire ravages short and intense. The only survivors are some Boomrats that have been sleeping. Everything that's left to collect from the fray is 69x silver! Only because it doesn't burn ...

How do people exploit trade caravans? They either run away or vanish entirely. They can help you with poison ships, but the loot tself is limited to corpses and gear. Cowards.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: forestfey on January 30, 2017, 06:18:44 PM
...realizing that animal inbreeding made it back into the game and then getting gifted this little treasure: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=768536764 (http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=768536764)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on February 03, 2017, 06:46:39 AM
First shell against siegers hits right in the center of their forward base, killing some raiders, destroying their supplies and lighting up the pile of shells. One of the raiders had enough time to glimpse his dead comrade before getting obliterated in the chain reaction.

PS: There have been eleven raiders.

edit: Stupid me forgot to add the screen:

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on February 03, 2017, 07:45:53 AM
...realizing that animal inbreeding made it back into the game and then getting gifted this little treasure: http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=768536764 (http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=768536764)

Check out the pup's name!  :o
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chris200x9 on February 05, 2017, 10:00:51 AM
I just started playing this game so I haven't seen that much but one time a guy died in bed then this other guy went to sleep in the same bed so he was sleeping in a bed with a dead body even though other beds were available.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: plantperson on February 19, 2017, 08:56:35 PM
I've seen quite a few things dunny things happen, but before I talk about them I should mention that my game has been modded for so long I'm not even sure what half my mods do, so my game is most likely different than than yours.

1- A Shoggoth (from the Call of Cthulhu cosmic horrors mod) attacked my tribe. We all had low quality medieval gear from raiders, and I had a fox, a monkey, and a labrador. I thought that we could beat it, so I got all my people and, since I had a large colony but no good defences, we got into a battle line. When the fight started it promptly slaughtered everyone, left them bleading out, then proceeded to try and beat my settlement to dust. One of my people got back up so I tried to 1 person kite it with a pila, before realising it had 5 range. I had her go around the colony to get a bow, but she went berserk and tried to beat the shoggoth to death. The someone else got up, went to get a bow, and almost immediately went berserk and tried to kill the Shoggoth with a wooden spear. In the end though, I rebuilt the colony and escaped the world because the Shoggoth died of an infected bite from my labrador.

2. My first colony in a desert went terribly. People were constantly sick and injured and infected and we had almost no food. While the colony did die to a series of berserker rages because of raw cannibalism, we survived for much longer than I would've thought possible due to my people going berserk and attacking traders, allowing me to take their stuff without their faction becoming hostile.

3. The time Frazier beat 7 zombies to death with a log, then was stopped from killing an eighth because Watson shot him in the back of the head with an auxillary pistol (which is weak and doesnt even pierce the skin).

4. My sniper, whose name started with an L, killed three centipedes and four scythers, then got his hand shot off by a raider with a pistol and bled to death on the way home.

5. The time a trader overdosed on her own gojuice allowing me to steal all her stuff.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Perq on February 20, 2017, 04:57:36 AM
- Pawn dying to being hung-over
- My first colony burning down
- Chicken being splashed by a transport pod (don't ask me why it is so funny to me D:)
- Two guys trying to escape my prison. In the first attempt, one of loses a leg (a single sword blow, first one to be precise). The other loses an eye and gets downed. They (actually one guy, since the other has one leg cut off) tries to escape again... He loses his leg exactly same way - the very first hit with sword on the leg... lol. So now I have two dudes with legs missing. Think that is enough of prison breaks for them. :D
- Animals getting addicted to drugs
- Raiders being attacked by manhunter packs
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Thyme on February 20, 2017, 10:15:41 AM
Things I do on a party:

You do not talk about Fight Club!

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on February 25, 2017, 12:56:11 PM
I'm playing my first strictly melee colony on Cassandra Intense, flat Boreal Forest. Early in year 1, 80 year old colonist catches plague end dies. Raids are increasingly tough, it's my first winter and I have to face stuff like several heavy SMGs, survival rifles, sniper rifles and incendiary launchers. One of my enemies is a tribal faction. I tamed 3 timber wolves and bought a polar bear. Toxic fallout in autumn makes it hard to stockpile food - berry bushes are dying. Before fallout expires, poison ship falls from the sky. I research machining, mortars and build EMP mortars. I send 3 good melee fighters armed with spears and looted armor vests. I build sandbags around the ship, make my other 3 colonists man EMP mortars, and a shield-wearing colonist pokes the ship with a spear. 2 scythers jump out, EMP mortars fire, stun them for 3 seconds, scythers die.

There's very little food left and 12 days left to growing period. I decided to slaugher badly wounded Ferdinand the timber wolf, he was missing a leg and a lung anyway. Animals have plenty to eat - I feed them corpses. I'm hunting rare wolves because there are no herbivores on the map. In one hunt, Becker, wearing devilstrand tuque, hyperweave shirt, armor vest, wielding excellent steel spear and supported by war beasts and another colonist loses a THUMB to a single bite of hunted timber wolf. Like a sissy little girl and not a brawler she is. So much medicine is used that from over 80 herbal medicine 38 is left before the end of winter.

One night, Becker and Nana the night owl, with rumbling stomachs, gather and plan to hunt a sleeping warg. 10 seconds after they're drafted, the son of a bitch senses that and... self-tames.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: b0rsuk on March 03, 2017, 12:38:01 PM
(http://wstaw.org/m/2017/03/03/watchingTheEclipse.png)

New extreme sport: watching the eclipse
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SpaceDorf on March 03, 2017, 04:29:04 PM
The manhunter pack of 19 wargs that spawned in the same spot as a Pirate Siege.

I only regret that they spawned before the ressource drop :)

The Wargs downed the whole Siege, my two worst colonists and left me with 5 Prisoners and gave my Pet Warg two Females :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Venge on March 04, 2017, 11:51:55 PM
1. I had a couple of pirates held captive, and was trying to recruit them. Though cookies. I got raided again, and sent everybody I could to fight it off. When i went to capture one and take him to prison, my prison was empty. The two prisoners had disappeared. I still have no idea what happened to them. No prison break notification, and they didn't die. I would like to know what they're up to now ;)

2. Captured a tribesman named purple. He chilled in prison for a bit, and then broke out and escaped. Left him bleeding out as he ran. 2 Days later I get raided. Guess who's leading them!? Purple is back! The bastard told everybody where I was and wanted revenge! First shot of the fight goes off from my sniper and Purple is killed. Should've joined me, he could have lived a wonderful life hauling steel and potatoes for the rest of his days.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SpaceDorf on March 05, 2017, 09:54:47 AM
1. I had a couple of pirates held captive, and was trying to recruit them. Though cookies. I got raided again, and sent everybody I could to fight it off. When i went to capture one and take him to prison, my prison was empty. The two prisoners had disappeared. I still have no idea what happened to them. No prison break notification, and they didn't die. I would like to know what they're up to now ;)

Did you keep the door open ? Or was there something blocking the door ?
When the door of the prison is not closed, Prisoners just wander off ..
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Venge on March 05, 2017, 07:46:40 PM
Did you keep the door open ? Or was there something blocking the door ?
When the door of the prison is not closed, Prisoners just wander off ..
Nope. Door closed, totally intact. Makes for good speculation though. $20 they tunneled out XD
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: RyanRim on March 08, 2017, 06:33:35 AM

2. Captured a tribesman named purple. He chilled in prison for a bit, and then broke out and escaped. Left him bleeding out as he ran. 2 Days later I get raided. Guess who's leading them!? Purple is back! The bastard told everybody where I was and wanted revenge! First shot of the fight goes off from my sniper and Purple is killed. Should've joined me, he could have lived a wonderful life hauling steel and potatoes for the rest of his days.

The same shite happened to me in other context, later on a crashlanded band that I couldn't keep from wandering away (I cured 2) went somewhere far, later on their leader (a female ninja...) started a raid against me. Quite funny as our colony wanted only to cure and help and then she gathered a vendetta (maybe something back from space life times). I had only 4 people and also 4 was the raid size but luckily my people were steady-handed and I left no chance to them. Also got back one of her equipment pieces I gave her before, my lucky pistol.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: GuesUserNameGUN on March 13, 2017, 12:40:46 AM
I had a guy go beserk halfway through digging out a small 6x6 room, so i locked the door and left him there to calm down. About 30 seconds later a hive spawned in the room, spawning two of the medium bugs straight away. He went down and just as i went to save him, 3 small bugs spawned, 2 large ones, and 4 medium ones spawned in.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: RyanRim on March 13, 2017, 04:16:39 AM
I had a guy go beserk halfway through digging out a small 6x6 room, so i locked the door and left him there to calm down. About 30 seconds later a hive spawned in the room, spawning two of the medium bugs straight away. He went down and just as i went to save him, 3 small bugs spawned, 2 large ones, and 4 medium ones spawned in.

Lemme guess, he crane-kicked them all to kingdom come?  8)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: GuesUserNameGUN on March 15, 2017, 07:44:05 PM
I had a guy go beserk halfway through digging out a small 6x6 room, so i locked the door and left him there to calm down. About 30 seconds later a hive spawned in the room, spawning two of the medium bugs straight away. He went down and just as i went to save him, 3 small bugs spawned, 2 large ones, and 4 medium ones spawned in.
Nope, he went down straight away. Such a great colonist...

Lemme guess, he crane-kicked them all to kingdom come?  8)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: AngleWyrm on March 15, 2017, 11:03:46 PM
A merchant showed up with a mid-range weapon that had a high rate of fire but not so good chances to hit. But it was infused with a great bonus to hit, and was significantly superior to the mac-10 one of my soldiers was carrying, so I forked over the thousands of silver for that puppy.

As he was headed over to swap weapons, I muttered 'I paid a lot for this puppy, and it's better than what you got, so...' and right then a pet Thrumbo girl comes over and kills a squirrel. As she's hauling her catch to the fridge, I'm all 'see, that's why I love you' and she grabs a fine meal from storage for dinner.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: laBOMBA on March 19, 2017, 10:17:08 PM
I made myself a rich explorer and started a relationship with the first girl that joined my colony. She later rejected my marriage proposal just a day before my wife joined the colony! Didn't even know I was married. Probably would have had a lot of explaining to do if she had accepted.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Greep on March 19, 2017, 11:29:52 PM
That feeling when you get a season two siege and have no counter... and then... you realize the obvious.



[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Catt on March 22, 2017, 02:17:37 AM
A mortar shell hitting a colonist while she was chilling in the dining room with a beer while 4 others were doing countershelling.
It was also the only shell they fired and it hit her like a sniper.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mmmbuh on March 22, 2017, 09:33:32 AM
Game stopped with the manhunter pack warning...I looked, and there was a MASSIVE mound of boomrats.  (My colony is worth way too much, so any attack I get is ridiculous)
No exaggeration, I literally stopped counting at 2000 rats.  It slowed my computer so bad, it was doing one frame about every 5 seconds.  By the time I got a colonist over to the mortar, it took a full 15 minutes of real time before the first shot by the mortar.  By this time, the rats had made about a 1/4 circle around my base wall, which thankfully was not flammable.
When the mortar shell dropped on a pile of them, it was pretty much like popcorn, going all the way around the 1/4 circle...but it took like 2 minutes to get through it all, because of the insanely slow framerate...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: laBOMBA on March 23, 2017, 11:03:30 PM
My resident cat binge drinking on my stash of beer. She then vomits in the exact square where I store my meals. I guess the "simple" meals turned into "fine" meals. Poor thing developed cirrhosis a short time after.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: blub01 on April 15, 2017, 07:17:54 PM
So, I decide I need more components and send some people to a nearby faction base to buy some. a couple hours after they've left, I get attacked by 2 scythers. one is taken out by my turrets, the other one proceeds to attack my colonists. one of them dies, the other loses their  right leg. the 2 guys I sent to buy components have arrived at the faction base, which happens to have a bionic leg, so I buy that, intending to install it into the guy who lost his to the scyther. first op fails, I'm so frustrated I cheat another leg in (because the first one is gone) and try again. the op fails ridiculously, the guy dies. this has probably been my worst period of bad luck so far.

UPDATE: Operations hate me. lost another colonist when I tried to replace her lung (which had a growing carcinoma in it).
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: DisturbedSpec on April 28, 2017, 01:40:55 PM
First game ever? Got attacked by an asthmatic tortise with dementia. From then on, I have never trusted tortises.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: your dad on April 29, 2017, 12:30:46 PM
Spent about a week in real time making a super-farm colony, took my five best growers to the new colony, and I overworked them so much they all died from malnutrition when we had 200+ simple meals in a cooler.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ymc on May 06, 2017, 09:53:17 PM
Screenshots attached.

Yes, that is the edge of the map. Bugger almost made it, and I would never have seen the joke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S580EX1nnYU

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: RyanRim on May 10, 2017, 06:03:25 AM
(http://i66.tinypic.com/10fz87s.png)

I posted it in screenshots thread too, sorry I just absolutely forgot about this thread  :P

Basically what is happening on this pic is on my early a16 game when I started animal farm mods and had lots of alpacas, I didn't restrict their movement and no proper yards yet, so they slept where they cared to. this lil guy went to sleep in a temporary meat freezer.

PS This meat was squirrel, not alpaca, otherwise he would've gone through a shock.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: dragonquester on May 12, 2017, 07:10:54 PM
having a whole colony of dogs join my colony out of nowhere... I was almost out of food... I think you can piece this together...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: NinjaDiscoJew on May 14, 2017, 08:03:31 PM
Had a jungle colony, and a trade caravan passed by during a heatwave. let's just say most of them died because they were wearing parkas.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: mumblemumble on May 21, 2017, 02:06:41 PM
Early on, late first spring / early summer, a colonist who was berserking because in pain and other elements, when its still 3 colonists, no real defenses, and not even a wall...decided to punch a thrombo

The ending of that was bloody.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: RyanRim on May 22, 2017, 05:29:51 AM
Early on, late first spring / early summer, a colonist who was berserking because in pain and other elements, when its still 3 colonists, no real defenses, and not even a wall...decided to punch a thrombo

The ending of that was bloody.

Man I hope that punch was satisfying...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ymc on May 22, 2017, 12:29:56 PM
Raiders enter. Raiders begin setting up their little seige base.

A defending raider sees one of my foxes way off in the horizon and lines up a shot. But alas, a rat happens to wander into his path and is killed instantly.

RAT REVENGE! 2 more rats come charging in.

In the ensuing chaos, 1 raider takes a headshot and is now down for the count. There's a couple more wounded, and my team is now in position, just waiting for them to make their mortar(s?).

I don't have that researched yet and they're quite handy.

EDIT: Had to resize image to make room for the second one.

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Names are for the Weak on May 26, 2017, 05:59:48 PM
I've got two!

Two of my colonists were getting married. What was supposed to be a joyous day celebrating everlasting love ended with three deaths by mechaniods, as a poison ship landed on the couple in question.

Speaking of marriage, another couple who had survived their wedding were having a pretty stable relationship. However, the husband's father dropped from an escape pod and joined our colony. Within two minutes of getting recruited, he pulled what I like to call a "reverse Freud" and stole his son's wife.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Slimy_Slider on May 26, 2017, 09:39:17 PM
Kinky
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Names are for the Weak on May 26, 2017, 11:27:29 PM
Kinky
Indeed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Slimy_Slider on May 27, 2017, 01:53:08 AM
Adds a whole new meaning to 'call me daddy'
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: tyriaelsoban on May 27, 2017, 12:18:45 PM
A16 was playing with the Tiberium Rim mod, chronic drug addict (no addiction just utter fascination with drugs, so he may as well be addicted to everything)
Randy doing his usual slather the map with drop pods, happens to drop some smokeleaf down, next thing i see is;
"George is going on a drug binge: Smokeleaf"
Now bear in mind i had some "hard drugs" (wake up, flake, etc) in the fridge because drugs were my best trade item.
No, George wants the weed ... that is not only on the other side of the map in the middle of bum-fu*k-nowhere but, also, this map is 85% infested with Tiberium of various colors, at this point i hadnt learned the merit of subduing annoying colonists with controlled beatings via the assault rifle.

George makes it, get this ... all the way to the weed without becoming infected, smokes a joint, decides hes hungry and comes home.
probably about 30 tiles before he reaches home (the sonic defense perimeter id built), he gets Tiberium poisoning of the head ...
Diagnosis is fatal, George dies 24 hours later.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Names are for the Weak on May 27, 2017, 08:46:34 PM
A16 was playing with the Tiberium Rim mod, chronic drug addict (no addiction just utter fascination with drugs, so he may as well be addicted to everything)
Randy doing his usual slather the map with drop pods, happens to drop some smokeleaf down, next thing i see is;
"George is going on a drug binge: Smokeleaf"
Now bear in mind i had some "hard drugs" (wake up, flake, etc) in the fridge because drugs were my best trade item.
No, George wants the weed ... that is not only on the other side of the map in the middle of bum-fu*k-nowhere but, also, this map is 85% infested with Tiberium of various colors, at this point i hadnt learned the merit of subduing annoying colonists with controlled beatings via the assault rifle.

George makes it, get this ... all the way to the weed without becoming infected, smokes a joint, decides hes hungry and comes home.
probably about 30 tiles before he reaches home (the sonic defense perimeter id built), he gets Tiberium poisoning of the head ...
Diagnosis is fatal, George dies 24 hours later.
Now that's dedication.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Two_Bit_Magician on May 29, 2017, 04:31:16 PM
After a muffalo is shot by one of my colonists, who abandons the job before it dies, leaving it bleeding to death, I mark it for hunting so that, in the morning, a hunter might come by and put it out of its misery.

I forgot my hunter had grenades.

My hunter trudges halfway across the map to find the downed muffalo, and with what I can only imagine is a madman's grin, pulls a grenade from their belt, pulls the pin, and drops it on the muffalo...

"A colonist needs treatment"
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Indoril120 on June 01, 2017, 09:02:41 PM
My colony had had it rough.

About half a year in my original 3 crashers recruit 'Snipe', a small 16 year old girl they rescued from a life of piracy. At the time of the bad turn she was on the road accompanying her good friend Archie to a resource cache our neighbors tipped us off about. The other two colonists, Steve and Maddog, stayed home to watch the settlement while they were gone. It was supposed to be a short trip, maybe 2-3 days there and back if nothing went wrong.

This is Rimworld. Naturally, things went wrong.

Archie and Snipe get ambushed by some bloodthirsty rabid pigs. While Archie is being mauled, Snipe is doing her best to put down the offending swine. Archie walks away with severe pig bites. Snipe, not a doctor, does all she can to stop the bleeding and hope her older friend recovers soon.

Meanwhile, a small band of pirates shows up at the settlement. Poor Steve. An incendiary launcher introduced an explosive pellet to his face, catching him, his house, and his crippled monkey, Kentucky, all on fire. Maddog, a pacifist and unable to engage, starts trying to juggle the various vital roles suddenly thrust upon him, tempering the flames rapidly spreading through the camp, extinguishing his friend and his friend's monkey, and avoiding the pirates. By the end of the day, Steve, Maddog, and the monkey, Kentucky, all succumb to bullets and flames and die within 10 feet of one another. The camp is lost.

Okay, so Snipe and Archie are still alive... This is not the end! Sure they're about a day away from home, injured, and have nothing to come back to except some silver, steel, and 5 random pops of luciferium not incinerated in the fire, but HEY! They're alive!

Archie contracts an infection in his right shoulder and left leg. Savage tribals show up and stab him a few more times. (Snipe, to her credit, put a shot right through the brain of one the second he got in range).

Within 24 hours, Archie is dead, leaving poor 16 year old Centra 'Snipe' Tholmne all alone in the wilderness.

Then there's a happy turn. Snipe's dad plummets out'a the sky right into the ashes of the old camp. She books it home and manages to save his life 0.27 hours before he bleeds to death. He spends the next few days recovering, and soon decides to stay. (Would'a been too sad if after all that he just went, "Whelp, cya 'round, honey! Good luck with your dead friends!")

Now we're about a year in. Dead of winter - nothing tremendous, but between father and daughter they get things done. They have become competent muffalo farmers, and soon have a decent-sized herd. It's a quaint existence, and pleasant to oversee.

Suddenly, game hit me wit le wild warning message!

"Luciferium Addiction!"

I turn to catch Snipe's poppa coming out of the shed, the luciferium stack a sliver smaller than before.

"No... Nonononono!" This beautiful father-daughter farmstead is about to be utterly destroyed by those devilish drugs (or a soon-to-be-lack-thereof)! I truly was very upset. I absentmindedly click the warning and am about to dismiss it when I do a double-take. It reads: "Muffalo 1 has developed an addiction to luciferium," or something to that effect.

The... muffalo? Sure enough, the thing's zipping around like it's on yayo, grazing on grass with an unnatural agility only afforded by ingesting performance-enhancing nanites. This muffalo can now count itself among an exclusive crowd of nano-infused livestock, and I honestly don't know what to do with it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Swat_Raptor on June 02, 2017, 11:40:41 AM
Bunny attack a centipede, afterword the whole raid of Mechanoids gathered in the middle of the map and started wandering aimlessly.

Presumably because of a Bug or something about the Mad rabbit caused the group of rampaging Machines to have a existential crisis.

see image attached

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Limdood on June 02, 2017, 02:37:27 PM
back in, i think A15.  I'm doing a tundra base with next to no growing season...its always snowy, always cold, and my starting pet is a #@^$ing cat.

Ofc, since its a starting pet, its bonded, and my colonists are shaky enough as-is.  A trade caravan shows up, and I've had it with dealing with this cat through the cold weather.  I sell my pet to the caravan, and since the bonded mood effects were new, i "discovered" that there is a 2 season mood penalty for selling a bonded animal. 

That sucks, but at least the mood penalty is half what the "bonded animal died" penalty is.  OK, no worries.

...except...

...except that I traded the cat at the beginning of the caravan visit.  Except that the caravan "chilled out" outside my base in the cold the whole time.  The cat froze to death outside with nothing i could do about it.  Suddenly my pawn had 2 stacked mood penalties "bonded animal was sold" and "bonded animal died."

That was a rough 2 seasons...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MistMaster on June 04, 2017, 11:05:37 PM
I have some young animals in my colony, so sometimes they get picked off by predators.
But this one day was different, I had a two day old boar cub who was absolutely wasted on alcohol. So this arctic fox wandering around thought the boar cub would be easy pickings. The fox easily rips two of the boars legs off while only receiving a scratch in return, but then the boar got mad. The boar cub put up a fight and actually downed the fox in a drunken rage. Mind-blowing, see the screenshot below.(http://i.imgur.com/KS0FqcL.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Slimy_Slider on June 05, 2017, 03:02:32 AM
Had a cobra develop cirrhosis about 3 in-game hours after it was born.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Erlembald on June 10, 2017, 11:12:34 AM
During my last tundra-colony I had a Manhunter Pack of Panthers (weirdly enough I think) enter the map together with Toxic Fallout and visitors (with something to trade) roaming around my colony (you gotta love Randy). First, the Panthers were on the Western side of my colony and the visitors in the south separated from the Panthers by a mountain. After some time, the Panthers found their way around the mountain and attacked the visitors, who defeated them without any real problems. I now decided to trade some items with the strangers and totally forgot about them afterwards.
As one has little to do during Toxic Fallouts, I checked the map for new game and other interesting stuff, when I found a dead pawn lying amidst many items near the edge of the map. My first thought was some kind of a weird bug, but then it struck me as I surveyed the items - it was one of the strangers, who seemed to have taken damage from the fight with the Panthers and that combined with the effects of the Toxic Fallout killed it. Luckily for me, it carried most items I had sold to the strangers and I could get them back additional to some other items and an excellent sniper rifle on top of it. Just Rimworld things I guess  :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: a1maxmad on June 12, 2017, 07:15:01 PM
Several hours into Alpha 17 (things are getting really good!) on permatdeath mode, I emptied my whole base on a desert biome that had half a year of snow, deciding it was just not hospitable for a long term operation. We had a day or two food and were stopping at colonies along the way to buy food. We were well armed with several colonists and things were going well. Half way to our destination, where would resettle, we received a request to take out a local band of pirates. I'd never done this before, suspected we would be over matched, but wanted to check it out. So, we go over. We're outnumbered almost 2 to 1.

After setting up a small base camp, we head down while they're sleeping and blockade their entrance with just some wooden walls. Eventually they wake up and start (naturally) fighting their way out. We take up defensive positions at our camp and wait. They start moltoving the freaking walls inside setting everything on fire! By the time they get out at least two are severely on fire! The rest stream out.

We manage to take out half and the rest run away. Here's the funny part...

We move into their base and start making food. A day or two go by. We get a message saying we have to reform our caravan. I don't want to yet. Still healing wounded and making food... I don't want to. I hit cancel. A message informs me that everyone is either 'Missing Or Dead...' That's it... everyone is dead or missing... on permadeath... that's it.

So... you know. Don't hit cancel when the game decides you've been camping for too long... pffffffffffffftttttt.....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: CruelBanana on June 23, 2017, 08:43:51 AM
Got 2 huge caravans in the same time. "Oh, sweet, now I can sell all those ori's I've tamed" I thought. They were coming from 2 opposite sides of the map, and I always let them come right in the city so I don't have to haul from far away. It appeared, they were enemies. They just started shooting each other on the street that has buildings on both sides, like in some western movie. In the unexpected gunfire I lost my best doctor, and there were a lot of people downed on both sides. In the end, I got tons of loot from muffalos and relation boost for saving their people. Of course, as soon as I get microelectronics I will request caravans from both of them.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Names are for the Weak on June 26, 2017, 02:48:02 AM
For everyone who kept track of the little serial I did recently, you might recognize this. So anyway, I was sending some guys off to investigate an item stash, and along the way, the caravan gets a stick up from a lone raider. The weird thing is, the only thing he demanded was a pair of pants from one of the pawns. I spent 5 minutes just laughing at the mental image of a man holding a stick in a threatening manner at someone demanding that they hand over their pants. Of course, I refused to comply, and when I checked his gear, the only thing he was wearing was a duster. I guess he needed a pair of pants himself, and couldn't be bothered to just get it in a safer way, a mistake that ended up costing him his life.

I don't know what circumstances in your life led you to mug people for their pants, but I'll always remember you, Pants Bandit.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SpaceDorf on June 26, 2017, 11:18:06 AM
The funniest thing is always the newbies complaining about some wierd shit happening to them :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: milon on June 29, 2017, 05:34:58 PM
^ Like that time when they ate without a table?  ;)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SpaceDorf on June 30, 2017, 10:43:29 AM
More like the first time Cassandra or Randy start showing off ..

20 Raiders .. riight .. but those 3 soldiers need a flu first .. no make that malaria .. yeah looks good ..
something is still missing .. oh yeah ZZzzzzzzT ..

Now Thunderstorm -  MWAHAHAAHAHAA !!!!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pablo603 on July 08, 2017, 08:12:21 AM
Okay
So recently I started a tribe colony with just one guy, I've built a small house, stockpile, things you need to start properly.
On about 13th day a pack of boomalopes came to the map when it was raining. Of course crazy me said - hey, it's raining, if fire starts it will stop. So I killed one boomalope and suddenly the rain stopped. The fire was getting out of control, causing a chain reaction between other boomalopes. My house was of course wooden so it burned down. Half of my stockpile also burned down and food was rescued with 5-15 condition. The whole map burned down. I saw a poor turkey burning. Soon it downed. I ordered my colonist to take care of it. 2 more seconds and the turkey would be burned to death. When my colonist patched up his wounds (without meds of course, because they were only burns)they got bound to each other and he named it "Waste" or something like that, I can't translate it properly from the polish translation, but in polish it was "Marnotrawstwo". I was laughing so badly because he named it like that! I don't know if that had something to do with the whole map burning down, but it was funny.
Here is a screenshot (polish version): (http://i.imgur.com/NdYV2h7.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Der Failer on July 13, 2017, 05:55:41 PM
And this kids, is why you don't leave your pets alone at home...

[ragemode]
I mean... seriously? That freaking Caribou just eat one of my precious Luciferium. It's not like there are tonnes of potatoes, hay and berries laying around... no is fine, just the eat the damn Luciferium! Is not expensive or rar or any thing like this.

I've never consider this a to be a possible problem, but sure my boars drink beer, so why wouldn't the single Caribou that self-tamed at day eight(!) take my Luciferium? What's next Squirrels on Wake-up, Go-juice addicted Wargs or maybe my Muffalos would like to enjoy some smokeleaf...

Well looks like i had a Caribou for the longest time.
[/ragemode]

But wait this isn't even the punchline:
I just had a raid and 7/10 colonists are injured and i just considered using Luci to save one of them.


Edit:
Also that guy from a caravan just set off a trap... and those are the people i'll have to rely on, in an emergency?! m(
Btw they are slavers and the only slave they have is a
....
....
....
two year old Yorkshire terrier?!?!?

I just can't... i just...
*drops headphones and leaves the room*

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: homemdosgalos on July 14, 2017, 04:15:22 AM
Besides the "awful Pila users" one shot a leg or arm from some of my colonists, it had to be today.

A Chef, incapable of cooking.  ::)
Will post print soon.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Novelty on July 15, 2017, 12:44:01 AM
This is pretty high on the list. I just started this game for kicks and went, "Surely, there'll be a cryo pod or two inside."

I was so wrong.

(http://i.imgur.com/jvnW9Ho.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: R1 on July 15, 2017, 12:20:10 PM
Boomer was the only combat worthy colonist of three, he was badly burned by a manhunting Boomalope, whilst resting in hospital three drop pods of raiders landed, two outside the hospital walls (who engaged the other two, combat handicapped colonists) and one inside the hospital room with Boomer who was still incapacitated. The raider decided to light fire to the hospital bed and tried to beat down the granite walls to escape, ultimately burning himself to death and almost burning Boomer to death, luckily he was rescued after the other two raiders were killed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SpaceDorf on July 23, 2017, 10:46:28 AM
Not Weird at all :



[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: makkenhoff on July 28, 2017, 12:16:58 PM
I got a "friendly" raid with no combatants available to use them against. A few of them had the pyromaniac trait. Nearly burned down my base, and I couldn't do a thing about it.

Salt on the wound - I posted this, and maybe 3 minutes later I got ANOTHER friendly group of pyromaniacs.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kubolek01 on August 04, 2017, 07:18:54 PM
Uhm... One is being shot down by my own turret (Modded sniperlike one) Another is that i used dev menu to spice things up. Gave my Thrumbo a flu... and ran out of meds RIP Nathan.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: PatrykSzczescie on September 03, 2017, 02:06:42 AM
Once I was attacked by a pirate addicted to go-juice, who used this drug, got incapacitated due to overdose and that's how I won a fight within 5 seconds.

Once I had a 36-tile squared freezer. A sudden heat came and despite 3 coolers, the food was rotting due to high temperature. I built a 4th cooler - temperature slightly decreased, but still too high. I built a 5th one - it was almost zero, but still above. I couldn't replace walls with coolers anymore. I had the whole east side adjacent to the outside: 5 coolers and a door which was open as I'd just realized.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MCreeper on September 09, 2017, 03:13:59 PM
1.Played with call of chtulhu mods. Tried to use spell "everyone go to sleep, when they wake up, they get lasting mood buff" to stop my colonists from constant berserking. Partial success! Spell works, but they summoned star vampire. Sleeping is uncancellable. Colonists head to their rooms, vampire foolows...  :D
I just savescummed. Again.
2. How my colony looked. Going from shrine:
Shrine itself. Still have rock rubble after almost a year.
Base in mountain. Various degrees of filthyness, but i tried to at least clean rooms.
Courtyard. Big space fully filled with "dark young vile blood". Only way of dealing with them is " enrage them, place colonist with chain shotgun on entrance, shoot one time, retreat, wait thing to wander away, repeat"
Wall and first entrance. All kinds of filth that is technically possible on tis map, in 7x3 zone!
I visibly improved my FPS when i cleaned all this. Before i was too busy getting raided, healing wounds and butchering raid to survive few more days. And i discovered that wimps that incapable of violence are actually useful, since they both get downed and recover quicly while berserking. Not that when she get "fully insane - pain reduced by 90%" though
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: linkfanpc on September 10, 2017, 10:31:27 AM
When i first started RimWorld, and made my first colony, i was playing while my two brothers were sitting next to me watching.

I miss-clicked on a pawn named Lemon and realized you can strip her. Both of my brothers said to do it. I declined.

Then they both started chanting "STRIP LEMON! STRIP LEMON! STRIP LEMON!"

To this day this is still an inside joke.

Gotta love RimWorld.

I guess this isn't game related buut eeeeehhhh...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: arjuna666 on September 13, 2017, 01:28:36 PM
in one if my first games i had a ridiculous amount of wild boars and after a while i noticed that one of them was having a really hard time killing a hare so i watch and after missing like 5 times he finally killed the hare. i decided to check his health and i fount that both of his eyes were almost completely destroyed by tortoise bites. i looked at the rest of my boars health stats and almost all of them over a year old were basically blind from tortoises, only tortoises. please Nerf tortoises they make all my animals blind
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Vlad0mi3r on September 27, 2017, 10:12:42 PM
Chen is being chased by Pirates. I decide to help Chen why not.

Mad Turtle. Ok its just a turtle, Chen should be able to outrun it and get inside.

Notice Chen is Naked. Ok Its now getting a bit weird Naked woman running through a rain forest being chased by Pirates and a Turtle.

Raid. Pirates are here. Only 3 of them and Chen is almost inside. Get Chen inside and she puts a jacket on and heads to grab the pistol. Lets check on those pirates... they obviously have issues with anyone chasing Chen (they want her naked body for themselves) and have decided to attack the Turtle. Go team Turtle, but alas the Pirates win with only a leg wound to show for their troubles and head towards the base. So much for Squirtles water gun attack.

Pirates are gunned down as they file into the base one at a time. So what is so special about Chen to warrant this attention. Psychite addiction that's what.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MCreeper on October 06, 2017, 08:31:48 AM
Not Weird at all :



[attachment deleted by admin due to age]
deleted by admin due to age. What ridiculously stupid bot does this and why?And why so randomly?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: SumGie on October 07, 2017, 11:06:13 PM
Had a guy, Kyle, who lived with four women.  Married each of them in turn.  Complained that he wanted to sleep with his wife each time, so I set up a double bed for them.  Slept with the current wife once and immediately broke up.  All four. 

Kyle, you scum...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: patoka on October 16, 2017, 06:40:44 PM
i didnt read the whole thread yet, but just today RNjesus gave me three interesting little fellas as enemies/visitors:
so the first one is pretty much the equivalent of an english king we all know from braveheart
second is the biggest gamble i've seen in the game to date. essentially, as long as you control the loonie, you have a good work horse. once he starts his shenanigans while you're at war, things could get rough. anyway, i was super lucky because in the attack i killed all his friends aside from one and 2 of them were rivals, so he wasnt that unhappy while getting his butt patched up in prison. and yes, i could capture and recruit him. how he had 70% difficulty and all the other 99%, i dont know, but i am happy now. also, his name is giggles. GIGGLES!
on a smaller note, today the game also threw the biologically 21 year old mother of one of my starters at me that was experimented on in the urb worlds and now hates men xD she had to flee from a couple attackers...the interesting part here is that her daughter is older than her now biologically and also hates men and was also experimented on.
and most importantly, i also got this guy, who is barely alive with his 90 years and virtually all problems he could have. he collapsed in winter while visiting me and his friends left him for dead, seeing as he was ridiculously slow and not a great addition to their team. anyway, i saved him in my lil outpost, patched him up, warmed him up with some food, but accidentally stripped him naked. from then on he tries to leave the place up to 3 times daily and freezes before he can even leave the three square roof around my house. he lost 3 toes/fingers by now and i think this winter is going to get very long, so i will keep him outside for a little to get frozen body parts and let a level zero medic heal him so that i can level him up easily and without any risks involved. also, no meds.

i even thought about harvesting some of his organs prior to letting him go home once better weather comes, but i've never done that. wont he die if i take away his liver, one of his lungs and kidneys? those body parts at least seem to be healthy...also, will those body parts turn bad in mere hours, or will they be like artificial body parts and never turn? can i even sell them?

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: kubolek01 on October 30, 2017, 04:15:18 AM
Hauling logic is weird. 35kg animal carries a Thrumbo corpse with ease. How?! Nothing can even take 350kg in caravan!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: chinster on October 30, 2017, 05:00:26 AM
When a tribal slaver visit my colony and they didn't feed their slaves causing the slave to have a mental break and become violent. Naturally the slavers defend themselves and incapacitates the slave. I capture the slave they just didn't feed, didn't clothed and try to kill. Now I have a bad will with them?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Heart of Silver on October 30, 2017, 01:04:25 PM
I was about 15 hours into the game and my previous one ended in failure. So I decided I would start a new one but give my 3 colonists power armor and miniguns so it would be easier. Start things off and its pretty nice but of course I need some food so I decide to kill this giant herd of deer (about 25 of them) and send my hunter out. Suddenly I get this alert that by attacking one of the deer it got mad and made the other deer get mad too. I was like no big deal my colonists have power armor and miniguns. 5 minutes later all my colonists were incapacitated from being beat the shit out of by the deers, though the deers had only lost about 7 of their kin (and i bet that only infused them with more rage). I never have hunted deer in the game since.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: patoka on October 30, 2017, 07:25:30 PM
i guess it is equally funny, cruel and impressive:
shizuka, my animal whisperer pawn, tried to tame a megasloth but she dun goofed and it suddenly attacked her. i was able to hit and run with her and her gun. i also made all the animals in my kingdom follow her order and her order was to attack. so after a minute or so the megasloth was knocked the hell out and only a muffalo lost a foot and took a heavy beating, another one took some hits, that's all. but the megasloth was bleeding like crazy. 500% almost. i had like 4 hours to save it, so i send shizuka to save that hairy beast from its impending doom. she carries it half across the map to my base to a cuddly megasloth fur animal box. kinda cute. until you see the bloody mess they made. like holy cow (more like holy muffalo) that's a lot of blood! it's like they were in hollywood and walked over the red carpet

ps: who came up with that great name "deficiency" for pets? it is my youngest and up until now completely healthy warg that learned all the commands in no time...

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: JohnLemon on November 01, 2017, 06:54:31 AM
It must be the time a large group of pirates was building a base on the other side of the map. My hard working colonist were very busy hauling the previous pirates`food and supplies into their own stockpile. We had managed to get them early in their attack, so there was much left for my men to loot.

Suddenly a lonely pirate starts to walk across the map, toward an unfinished turret, in the defeated pirate base. Carrying arms full of metal. He was going to continue building the turret that the previous pirate group did not manage to finish. That poor idiot.

My colonist did nothing but wait for his arrival, and gun him down. Poor guy, he was largely outnumbered. But what do you think happened next? To my surprise another pirate started to walk towards the turret. Gunned him down as well. This happened over and over, until the very last man in that pirate band was gone.

I could do nothing else than laugh, what a great way to defeat such a large group of nasty pirates!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Call me Arty on November 02, 2017, 03:51:23 PM
 Psychic ship's basically on my doormat (thanks, Randy). I have almost nothing for weapons, so I take some extra time to build a spare rifle. Not enough time, it's a medium drone now, something needs to be done. Here. and soon. So, with a handful of weapons not designed for heavy combat (couple pistols, pump shotty, and a great bow) I set up a firing squad. Three Scythers, great. So, the fight begins. Each side takes hit, mine obviously worse than the others's.
   Welp, I guess Dave, my construction dude, saw fit to start some repairs. Walked through a hail of gunfire from both sides, take half a minute to repair a solar panel and some bricks that got damaged, and hop back inside on one leg to have a snack. Wasn't shot once. Meanwhile, I lost a soldier, two lost limbs and one organ, and the last one still ended-up with extreme blood loss by the time he made it to bed.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: jamaicancastle on November 06, 2017, 09:07:00 AM
I almost feel bad about this... 5 raiders show up pursuing my latest refugee - one with an LMG, two with shotguns, two with knives. I send my people to the defenses.

Then I see something unusual. Two cougars have, apparently simultaneously, decided that these guys look like lunch. They fall on the last guy with a knife and kill him while he and the one with the LMG try to fight back. (Despite blazing away with her LMG she actually managed no friendly fire. Didn't help.) The LMG fire triggers group revenge, making them both manhunters.

By now the other three realize something's gone wrong. One of the shotgunners goes back, forgets momentarily how to shotgun and tries beating up the cougars with predictable results. (Viz, they savaged him until he stopped moving, and he eventually bled out.) The other shotgunner tries to front my defenses, also with predictable results. The last one decides, not irrationally, to call it quits. She's well out of gun range... but not out of cougar range.

For an encore, the cats decide to rush my guns. They're currently being made into burgers.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Chestergazi on November 11, 2017, 08:52:14 AM
Funniest thing i ever saw on Rimworld?
Well Hare beating my Colonist that have more than 100 kills!
Rest In Pieces.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: patoka on November 21, 2017, 12:54:00 PM
I was saving up a TON of gold so that my lvl 16-artistic pop singer "Min" could sculpt yet another masterpiece for the colony, only this time in gold!

Instead some drooling philistine grabbed all the gold and made an awful golden statue with it. Half a ton of solid gold and it's not much prettier than a potted plant.

Still sold it for a ton of silver and 12+ bionic arms, legs, eyes and claws [/evil grin]

yo what the hell
i also have an artistic pop singer called "Min"
what are the odds

also: you could have made a single statue building task that only asks for golden statues and only allows colonists with an art skill above a certain level to work on it. but personally, i only make those medium statues out of wood. cheap, low risk, easy to mass produce (i have like 40 colonists in vanilla A17) and still sell for a lot of money with a good trader and if the statues are masterworks or legendary i keep them to make my fortress look nice.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kirby23590 on November 21, 2017, 09:18:24 PM
The Funniest that has ever happened to me in Rimworld has to be with a combat supplier caravan arriving.

Theres a problem though. The poor trader who has a artery blockage is suffering a heart attack and hes still far away from my colony. I'm also using a weapon mod that added a M79 grenade launcher but it's very rare, and he's selling it!

What did i do? Well i told my best person with the social skill to trade with before he falls down and buy a lot of his weapons including the M79 grenade launcher and sold most of my potatoes and my rice ( They were flooding my freezer! serves me right building two large farms of rice then. ) And made a mad rush to get all the weapons from the ground before the deteriorate from being unroofed in the outdoors.

It was a close call but the trade started to have intense pain and laid down in the ground finally in the colony's entrance.

But the funniest thing is that he didn't die, he survived and just ran towards to the nearest exit while the caravan guards are left confused and the guards started falling asleep in the floor thus making them heavily stressed out. And the guards started leaving only for them, one by one going berserk or falling sleep again in the ground, killing each other until they started to flee. Yay free stuff and weapons!!

It was weird though, but it made quite chuckle. Randy can be really random these days if he's not making random electronics bust and wasting  my components repairing them.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Treme1 on November 26, 2017, 12:02:09 AM
This has to be the most interesting named pawn I've ever gotten, she's a great cook.

[attachment deleted by admin: too old]
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Slimy_Slider on November 26, 2017, 09:28:40 PM
The taster part is a backstory description. The info panel tells you the name and the backstory - so Wong is a food taster, therefore, Wong should have a decent cooking skill, I think.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Canaris on December 27, 2017, 03:07:21 PM
Pyromaniac decided to go on a fire starting spree ..... in my tribal colony, inside a mountain on an extreme desert where everything is made either of sandstone, marble or steel because there are literally three cactii on the entire map... Poor guy just wandered around for a while and decided to go for a snack.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: patoka on January 09, 2018, 06:55:20 PM
so, one of my colonists just got sick. of the flu. and the plague. at once. lol, didn't even know that was possible.
Man, you might as well euthanize him.

actually, he survived. I have a beast of a medic.

honestly, if you arent at constant war/trying to survive by any means at the moment and have a decent enough doc or two, having a single patient with multiple sicknesses is easier on your colony than having multiple sick pawns. (except if you pull a north korea and send all your sick people to work in the afternoons)
i personally let all my sick people sleep it off without having them work, except in absolute emergencies, so having a single one with tons of injuries and sicknesses is actually better.
i remember i was around 20 pawns once and just handled a raid with three badly shot up pawns and 3 new prisoners in my formerly empty prison cell. before my docs could even tend to all the cuts and bruises, fibrous mechanites and half a minute later the black death struck. i am not sure about the exact combination, but i remember having at least a prisoner and a colonist with both conditions but also a number of others that only had one of them. due to me tending to the sicknesses first, the cuts and bruises from the battle got infections (at least i stopped them from bleeding to death soon enough. if i am not mistaken, in the end i had a prisoner with both fibrous mechanites and the pestilence, two infections (from untended burns he got from another raider) and extreme bloodloss.
long story short, nobody died, eventhough i had 4 cases of mechanites, 5 cases of black death and countless infections due to pirates deciding to kill us with fire and me fighting fire with fire. took a while to get everything back and nicely done and stuff and i might have amputated a toe or finger here and there, but i guess this was an extreme case so it should be entirely possible to solve for others since i was still a beginner. maybe use better medicine in dire situations and dont tend to wounds and bruises if there are more important things to solve first, maybe amputate unimportant body parts. especially lungs and kidneys are easily replacable, but also the heart and liver are possible in dire times.

before i finish my long post i have to tell you about a time my plan didnt work out. i dont remember many details anymore, but some of you might remember from reading up on the wiki, that when an infection happens, it is possible (if unlikely) that the pawn immediately dies due to its consciousness being already very low. something similar happened to me when one of my prisoners got an infection and i was JUST about to heal it when it turned severe it killed the pawn. kind of annoying when the pawn wouldve survived all conditions on their own but everything together was too much. then again, i guess a single cut doesnt kill anybody, but a thousand cuts can even kill a thrumbo....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MeowRailroad on February 17, 2018, 12:21:56 PM
One time I raided a pirate base successfully but a colonist got an infection, so I settled it as a colony so they could treat the injury before heading home. I kept the pirate buildings as a second colony that I thought I might come back to to deconstruct and mine at, but a raid of three raiders attacked it. One with a gun, one with frag grenades and the other with Molotov cocktails, and somehow the grenadiers both died through their own incompetence. The pirates gained literally nothing from that raid as they jsut destroyed some shacks and didn't even steal the few things I had left behind (a dining chair and some stone bricks left over from deconstructing the doors to get into the shacks.)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: timegrinder on February 20, 2018, 05:18:14 AM
Playing the Hardcore-SK mod package, set up my bases storage room neatly and pile my ammunition and grenades/etc into some containers in a corner so that everything is organised.

Pawn has a mental break and goes on a binge, no biggie, I'll just let them go through withdrawal.

Pawn eventually reaches withdrawal stage, gets another mental break despite my best efforts to keep them satisfied, goes beserk and I think this will be okay, I'll just knock him the hell out and put him in confinement while he completes withdrawal.

I notice the pawn isn't moving toward one of the other pawns for a fight, they're moving the opposite direction toward the ammunition stockpile, select them and 'Attacking frag grenade' is their job.

Oh jesus shit did everything blow the f* up, the pawn walked up to the barrels in the corner of a room, punched a grenade, detonating all of the grenades and sending 2-3 thousand ammunition rounds spraying randomly into the room nailing several of my colonists and damaging most of the contents of the room.

Absolutely funniest thing I had seen happen in RimWorld during my time playing, I wish I had a video of it.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kirby23590 on May 15, 2018, 07:24:19 AM
Speaking of getting a heat wave and getting the trade caravan arriving in the desert.

The trade caravan was there but i didn't see the trader. Until i scrolled down a bit and... Oh i found him! But he's a poor old guy named Sammy  who has got a bad back and that he's frail and he's 83 years old.

And because of the heatwave, he got heatstroke so i told my best trader to trade with him and get all the food since i'm in a dire emergency and steel and also selling junk i don't need.

After done trading with him. The traders started to leave because of the extreme temperatures (Heatwave). But Mister poor Sammy. Fell over because of the heatstroke he got from the heatwave.

So the traders left him behind. Luckily unlike in A17 where they will go bonkers and start having at each other's throats they left normally and forgetting about Sammy.

(https://i.imgur.com/6elXih0.jpg?1)

Poor Sammy we hardly knew ye...

Too bad we didn't get free stuff though. Just dead man's clothing...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Tober6fire on May 15, 2018, 02:58:13 PM
 ;D A rider group of ten try’s to attack my camp while there in route a psyc ship decides to pay a visit and kills three raiders. Naturally the drones decided to come out at that time too. ;D :D I was laughing my ass off as I was watching the remaining raiders with 2 melee 2 grenadiers and the remaing 3 range try to kill two stalkers and a centipede with a inferno. The centepede was the only survivor which got gunned down from my remaining troops. My god ;D so much free loot 
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Azurely on May 29, 2018, 05:20:27 PM
One time I on accidentally put a roof over my solar panel grid and went insane trying to figure out why I wasn't getting any power for the next 3 ingame days
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Call me Arty on May 29, 2018, 11:26:56 PM
One time I on accidentally put a roof over my solar panel grid and went insane trying to figure out why I wasn't getting any power for the next 3 ingame days

 That, and also had roofs/trees near my wind turbines. The early game is a rough one.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: bobguy on June 21, 2018, 09:42:39 PM
Ok don't know if this is funny but I was trying to tame a thrumbo, and being the idiot I am I left my colonists with the thrumbo and it got mad. Long fight short my researcher was my last hope and she was punching the legendary colony destroying thrumbo and she..... lost 3 fingers, meanwhile I forgot to draft my 3rd gunner and I found him EATING A GOD DAMN FINE MEAL WHEN HE COULD OF USED HIS ASSUALT RIFLE TO SHOOT THE THRUMBO.

When I told him to fire he hit and killed the rabbit next to the thumbs by shooting it in the brain.

I also have a megasloth with dementia :/
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: tyriaelsoban on June 24, 2018, 06:53:05 PM
Im kicking myself for not screenshotting this, so you will have to take my word for it...

Brotherhood of Nod show up on the edge of my map and set up a siege camp, theyve got (as usual) far too many sniper rifles for me to risk a frontal assault (even with the rebalanced shooting mod) and theyve tucked themselves into a nice little cubby in the mountain range, so i only have that angle to attack from.

Send my worst colonist to man the only mortar battery i have, stolen from a Nod siege from the previous season - i have THREE rounds of HE left because i like to take potshots at prepping raiders, now, you know how rimworld likes to sometimes slather the mortar ammo around the raid camps? Yeah, well ... worst shooting skill colonist causes what i can only describe as a magazine detonation in the middle of the camp and kills nearly everyone, since Nod operate on a "no retreat, no surrender" policy, 3 of the remaining 15 pawns get gunned down and one of them decides his buddies shoddy Nod Grenades would make a nice trophy and leaves.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: silenced on June 24, 2018, 08:12:09 PM
In version 1.0, that event: Corpse Obsessed. I laughed my ass off.

Obsessed pawn runs to the cemetery, digs up an rotten corpse and places it on the dining table 'to display it to everyone'.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

That's so hilarious. Whoever had that idea, thank you!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Grimelord82 on June 27, 2018, 02:22:21 PM
So, this just happened...Bjornson is fairly skilled, pretty but also lazy mountain of a woman that snores (creepy breathing). Kees is a trim, really handsome/kind artistic intellectual.

Kees "Brr, it's getting cold outside"
Bjornson "I've got a fur coat you can slip under"
Kees *raises eyebrow*
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: MerlinEngine on July 01, 2018, 08:25:30 AM
I had a bunch of raiders attack my colony, and in the middle of the duel between my fortress and their goons, a herd of those animals that tend to blow up when they die passed in no man's land. A few of them got hit by some stray rounds, and they became manhunters and attacked the raiders, blowing most of them to kingdom come as my own sharpshooters shot the animals up instead.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: tyriaelsoban on July 01, 2018, 12:38:06 PM
So, this just happened...Bjornson is fairly skilled, pretty but also lazy mountain of a woman that snores (creepy breathing). Kees is a trim, really handsome/kind artistic intellectual.

Kees "Brr, it's getting cold outside"
Bjornson "I've got a fur coat you can slip under"
Kees *raises eyebrow*

Ive had that happen too  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on July 08, 2018, 10:33:33 PM
I AM NOT A WOLVERINE GAAAAAAA!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Snowcaller on July 08, 2018, 11:49:42 PM
Pre 1.0 a load of pirates podded in. not a vast amount, like 7 or 8 or sumth.
I was ante-ing up my team ready for a fight and a meteor or cargo pod (can't remember exactly, i was a little tipsy at the time) .
Killed them all. Right on the edge of the map.
I larfed loik a drain, oi did!
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on July 11, 2018, 03:56:38 AM
Not sure if this counts as a funny thing I saw, but it's too small a story for its own thread and there doesn't seem to be a "Thread for stories too small for their own thread" thread.

I just hauled Kate back to her cell for the 2nd time after a prison break, and was done. I'd been trying to recruit her for probably 2 seasons now with no luck, and decided it was time to cut and let her loose. And by cut, I mean cut off a leg to install it on one of my colonists with a peg leg.

Right as I was about to start the surgery bill, Lexi got inspired recruitment. I figured it was the game telling me something, so Kate got a reprieve and (for now) gets to keep both of her legs.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Skryabin on July 13, 2018, 08:15:17 PM
Boxer rat!!!

(http://i350.photobucket.com/albums/q418/skryabin25/mouseboxer_zpsr9jykpcv.jpg)

My colonist had to fight a mad rat and he got such a strong kick of her left front paw that his jaw cracked!  ;D

(http://i350.photobucket.com/albums/q418/skryabin25/rut%20fight_zpsfb7lrfzg.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on July 21, 2018, 08:06:37 PM
Xandy is having a tantrum.
He is going to smash things in his room.
The final straw was: Drowsy
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Planetfall on July 23, 2018, 11:07:34 AM
I had half my colony die of the plague.
Turner my second hand and wife of queen Basalt, my farmer Sikle, and... I forgot what Pain's job was... she's been dead three years now...*sniff*
anyway yeah, the plague, no good meds, Turner's best freind Hungry travles day and night (only a biiit of dev mode) to the nearist outlander town and gets some glitter meds and rushes back exausted but its still to late. Every single person who got the plague died.
Only Hungry, Hungry's misanderist Ex Flotsom, and the now hart broken Queen Basalt remain. Flotsom who even while disliking men was good friends with charming Turner flew into a muderus rage at Hungry's tardy return. Basalt managed to break up the fight. it was a tarible time. a cold snap had kept the crops form being planted and with Sikle dead it was late summer by the time the surivors had finished planting.
But low! Casandra had heard the tears and crys of angush and blessed the Stone Crown with an excape pod! Hungry rushes over to find a teenage boy...
who...
was...
S.I.C.K.L.Y...

I put down my laptop and rage laughed for a good few minits.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Planetfall on July 26, 2018, 12:57:39 PM
This story isn't that funny but I don't think its long enough for its own thread soo..

This story is from the same colony as the last post only 4 years later. Turner had been revived by Basalt 3 years prior.
Turner and three newish recruites Sick, Sub, and Izolda, where returning home after destroying pirate outposts when they where ambushed by a single pirate with a knife he didn't even know how to hold. Turner blasted two great chunks out of the badies cheast with his charge lance but than Sub the brawler stoped him. Sub wanted the poor fellow to die with the dignity of single combat. Turner holstered his Lance while Sub waded though the marsh to meet the bleeding raider halfway.
They met in a small pond and paused.
Than with hate in his eyes the pirate raised his knife...

And had his brains blasted out by Izolda's shotgun blast.
As Subs Fiance she didn't want to take any chances.
As they where preparing to move on Sub rifled though the dead man's pockets and found pitures of his wife and son.

Both of which had manned the recently destroyed out post.
Everone paused. silently Sub picked up the body and draped it over their pack muffalo. When they arived home they placed the vengful father in the tomb of heroes where Sikel and Pain still rest.
(i have screenshots but i don't know how to atach them properly)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Yeol on July 29, 2018, 01:49:55 AM
Choco appeared on the map. She's a "mad woman", a wild human living with, and as the wildlife. She could be tamed, but my protagonist (Wanda) does not have the skills. So Choco wandered around, and found this comfortable cave: shelter and easy food seemed to keep her there. Little does she know how dangerous it is to live amongst the co-inhabitants. But she does not mind. She lives there now for more then a week, and it seems she's staying there for another good time. She's comfortable, safe from predators (dead lynx at the cave entrance), and out of weather and rain. Choco: the wild-woman living among insects.

(http://i64.tinypic.com/zv7its.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on August 02, 2018, 04:54:31 AM
This game has never ever made me jump in surprise.

Until now. As I was moving a light, this happened.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Skryabin on August 02, 2018, 11:35:41 AM
- Did you order some steel?
- No! Wrong address!
- Oh, sorry, sir. Please, use shipment return label.
  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Yeol on August 03, 2018, 04:28:54 AM
Same cave, one week later... RAID!  A lone raider was going to invade and destroy my camp... I thought. I never understood why he decided to enter this cave to attack it's dwellers. He never came back out again... Raid over.

(http://i67.tinypic.com/34g4xt4.jpg)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: pablo603 on August 06, 2018, 07:07:06 AM
Same cave, one week later... RAID!  A lone raider was going to invade and destroy my camp... I thought. I never understood why he decided to enter this cave to attack it's dwellers. He never came back out again... Raid over.


But... but... WHERE'S CHOCO!?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bolgfred on August 06, 2018, 09:50:33 AM
I had a nudist named John wearing a shield belt charging in melee against a shotgun. After the fight I noticed there was his right middle finger missing.

I didn't watch the fight in detail but all I could thing about was that this could only had happen if he was trying to show the finger to his enemy, holding it  outside the shield bubble and his enemy just shot it off as a reaction for this insult.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: vladmartin89 on August 09, 2018, 11:15:21 PM
In RimWorld even trees trying to kill you  :)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on August 11, 2018, 09:47:53 AM
So a psychic ship crashes inside my base, and right before I'm about to take it on, a moderately large group of Yorkshire Terriers join. So, I create a zone, named "SORRY".

(http://pulpaudio.com/rimworld/rimworld_sorry.jpg)

(I'm not sorry)

It actually worked really well.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Skryabin on August 23, 2018, 10:41:29 PM
I've just had a turtle going mad alert. Everyone prepared for a deadly fight! But it was moving so slow towards the base, that it lost any manhunter interest on its way and just started wandering...  ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: OFWG on August 24, 2018, 03:47:01 PM
I've just had a turtle going mad alert. Everyone prepared for a deadly fight! But it was moving so slow towards the base, that it lost any manhunter interest on its way and just started wandering...  ;D

This made me laugh way too hard :D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: focusingblur on September 01, 2018, 07:32:36 AM
Infirmary. The patient is already sedated and unconscious. My doctor prepares for the surgery by setting his beer down right next to the hospital bed. Then, mid-surgery, another colonist walks in, steals his beer... and then hurls an insult at him just as she exits the room.

It's the little things...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ackam on September 02, 2018, 01:31:12 PM
A slaver caravan came to my colony. Looking to buy something, I saw a slave Tynan with cool traits.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Skryabin on September 02, 2018, 06:09:50 PM
A slaver caravan came to my colony. Looking to buy something, I saw a slave Tynan with cool traits.
Wow, what a find! Did you buy him?

That would be fun to enter names of all the members of this community into the game as well...
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Ackam on September 02, 2018, 08:16:11 PM
Wow, what a find! Did you buy him?

No, I wanted to buy it for the only purpose of having Tynan in my colony but he was terribly bad skilled.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Aramati on September 11, 2018, 02:29:59 AM
As the coward I am, I'm afraid to leave my pawns hunting dangerous animals like panters. Maybe my solutions is pet turtles.

Almost all panters' death in my map was from figthing a turtle!

Turtles are dangerous.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: scorlew on September 11, 2018, 09:12:47 AM
In a previous game a few months back, my most productive colonist was an optimistic psychopath.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kirby23590 on September 11, 2018, 12:40:04 PM
Call me insane but my best colonists back in A14, two in fact were.

An Pyromanic who is Abrasive. Who is an very good builder in the colony and a good shot in sniping.

And a Psychopath who is also Abrasive. Who made a lot of high quality weapons in crafting & smithing and is deadly with an masterwork shotgun called the monkey, he also made a lot of enemies in the colony along with the other Abrasive pawn i had since he's a psychopath and an abrasive jerk.

But they were still my best players, i won't forget that my Abrasive Pyromanic  Master builder started a fire during the wedding. luckily he did it outside the wedding ;D
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Anvil_Pants on September 15, 2018, 08:51:33 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/iXAjjzy.gif)

(https://i.imgur.com/H7nuXv1.gif)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Jfour on September 19, 2018, 05:12:22 PM
Just goes to show, there's someone for everyone, I guess.
(http://)
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: [email protected] on October 09, 2018, 02:09:13 PM
I had two pawns that mutually hated each other, never had a deep talk. And at the end of the day they got into social fight after one insulted another. Once fight was over I made one which win rescure the loser to the hospital. Their mutual hatred after this incident was more than -30 IIRC. Now the funny part of the story. My hospital is narrow with only two beds and share room with laboratory. After some time to my great surprise I found out that these two fellas grinded away their disagreements and having a lot of deep talks turned out to be bosom friends.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Arkay_The_Arcane on November 07, 2018, 10:07:03 AM
Once, two of my colonists decided to marry. During the wedding ceremony they decided to divorce.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: JayratX8 on November 07, 2018, 08:21:12 PM
not so much as a seen as a thing. i have a colonist; a female pawn i dubbed buck with the last name rogers, that started off grabbing the helmet immediately after we landed. she wore this helmet till i got a brawler with a higher melee skill, she has the cutest curly hair ;D now another high skill brawler shows up. so i buy a marine helmet, not event having the time to select my newest brawler, buck charges in and grabs that helmet! i think she's feels self conciseness about her hair.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Rakha030806 on November 24, 2018, 12:14:28 AM
My funniest thing that happened to me is a grizzly bear attacked a megasloth


and they both got hit by a lightning
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on November 30, 2018, 03:34:45 AM
So lightning from a dry thunderstorm hits a boomalope and kills it.
It explodes, knocking out a wall of an ancient structure with insects inside, all while one of my colonists is walking by it.
So he runs, and the other two (it was the first year of a crash landed scenario) start shooting.
A thrumbo I didn't notice walks between the shooters and the insects, and gets shot.
It gets angry.
3 seconds later everybody's on the ground and the man in black shows up. He gets mobbed by angry insects and the thrumbo.
The fire from the boomalope and the other lightning consumes the 4 colonists.

The End.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Bodhran777 on December 03, 2018, 10:03:33 AM
Once had a prisoner named Dinosaur in my base that I kept around as a cleaner and stone block crafter.  One day, one of my colonists dropped some wood in a doorway, letting Dinosaur wander out.  Of course, the surrounding wall on the base was unfinished, so she decides to make a run for it.  Just as night was setting in, I look around for Dinosaur and notice she's not around.  I finally find her about 30 yards from the edge of the map on her way back to her prison cell.  Turns out, she almost escaped, but got tired right at the edge and decided to head back to bed. 

My colonists closed the door and finished the walls very quickly after that.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Alchemist on December 10, 2018, 01:42:46 PM
One of the funniest cases was when a trader caravan (pirate merchant I think) with a single muffalo visited. I browsed their wares, traded a few things with them and left them stay near my defenses. Then a hungry bear decides to chew on their muffalo. As those traders don't restrict use of some weapons, they not only kill the bear, but also knock out one of their guys... and the muffalo as well!
LOOT!!!
So, after grabbing whatever I'd like to keep, I decide to try selling the rest of their stuff back to them. Which doesn't really work. Because when I open the trade dialog, they have ZERO. No items, no silver, the poor muffalo was carrying everything and I robbed the entire caravan. And got reputation for saving their guy. Rescued the muffalo too, but they didn't thank me for that (well, apart from the advance thanks that dropped from the muffalo in the first place)


A most recent ridiculous case was when I got a psych ship event. I mobilized my guys, sent a sniper forward and called an allied faction for reinforcements. They land next to the ship and casually walk past it towards my base before my sniper gets in the range to trigger the mechanoids. Finally he does while the last of those reinforcements still is not far from the ship - so the mechanoids kill that guy, and the rest of them... don't even look back and continue marching to my base.
And then from the other side of the map a tribe sends their reinforcements. Yes, you guessed it, those factions are hostile to each other, so they meet on my corn field and litter it with corpses (at least didn't burn the houses down). The tribals won due to their numbers - I'd probably call them next time I need cannon fodder (oh wait, cannot use drop pods. damn).
And my guys had to deal with the mechs on their own. Fortunately, with quite some good protection mostly from juicy trade contracts, no losses. But one of them lost a lung. Which I just replaced a few days before! Anybody has an extra raider for spare parts?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: 5thHorseman on December 10, 2018, 07:42:28 PM
A most recent ridiculous case was when I got a psych ship event.

It wasn't super recently but I had a psychic ship that I popped open with a mortar to see what was inside before assaulting it, and then spent a few days getting ready.

During that time, it emitted a huge psychic pulse that drove all the animals in the area insane. A herd of Muffalo attacked the mechanoids, and actually took 2-3 of them out before all dying. I attacked, killed the remaining mechs, and we ate muffalo that night.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Infojunkie on December 12, 2018, 04:08:56 PM
Had two colonists suffering from the plague being treated in the same bed, one an 80-year old man, the other a 20-year old woman.  They decided to become lovers and get married while lying there.  He died in short order and she went berserk and had to be put into cryosleep.  I built a sarcophagus next to her cryptosleep casket and the random artwork on it memorialized his seduction of her.  Ewwww.....
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ManHuntingSquirrel on December 28, 2018, 11:12:04 PM
Once,some cocaine fell from a escape capsule,i keeped it in my storage.
A few days later,i find a squirrel dead next to where i left the drug,he died of overdose.


Sorry for bad english
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on December 29, 2018, 06:49:47 AM
Once,some cocaine fell from a escape capsule,i keeped it in my storage.
A few days later,i find a squirrel dead next to where i left the drug,he died of overdose.


Sorry for bad english

Was it related to you? Was it your lover? Is this squirrel's death the reason you now try to wipe out the humans on your planet?
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ManHuntingSquirrel on January 11, 2019, 11:13:02 AM
I once saw a visitor called Peeto "Potato" Pupukaka. Peeto is spelled like "Pito"(Dick),pupu is like popo (Spanish for poop) and kaka is exactly like caca (Poop in spanish too)

Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ManHuntingSquirrel on January 11, 2019, 11:17:20 AM
Once,some cocaine fell from a escape capsule,i keeped it in my storage.
A few days later,i find a squirrel dead next to where i left the drug,he died of overdose.


Sorry for bad english

Was it related to you? Was it your lover? Is this squirrel's death the reason you now try to wipe out the humans on your planet?

No,i made nutritive goo with her corpse,tasted terrible.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: S810_Jr on January 13, 2019, 05:39:26 AM
Heh, was a joke about your names origin.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: ManHuntingSquirrel on January 15, 2019, 03:38:56 PM
Heh, was a joke about your names origin.

Remember we are talking about Rimworld,canibalism is always an option.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: The_Hat on March 23, 2019, 05:33:39 AM
This post could be subtitled "Fun with Psychic Animal Pulser." I think you know where I am going with this.

So I'm having a successful run. Already have over twenty colonists, it's the late stages of year five, I think. Our killbox is almost done. One of the reasons it took this long to begin with is because I have four Goliath turrets, and a bunch of laser turrets, and those ridiculously expensive military grade turrets that require 270 steel apiece.

I have like thirty or forty of them.

Plus a power grid that is woefully ill-equipped for the monstrosity I am building. Which is why I have large areas of enclosed space set aside for power generation. It's going to take a few seasons, I think...if we can only avoid a dire raid until then.

The notification almost makes my heart stop. Dire raid. With 59 soldiers. I've heard of much worse, but the salient point is my base, at its current level of development cannot possibly stop a party of 59 raiders. We're probably going to die now, I think. Not a hope in hell of coming through this one. But what if...I suddenly recall that psychic animal pulser we liberated from a crypt years prior.

I've never before chanced to use one of these. Could it possibly save us?

I grit my teeth, send a colonist to activate the device...and pray.

Immediately, an alert hits the board. The dog, warg, muffalo and gazelle that were living inside camp turn berserk, attack my colonists. We suffer some injuries. One colonist that was on her way to the front lines is waylaid by the muffalo and gazelle, but suffers only minor injuries in dispatching them. The warg gets shot in the halls before it can do too much damage, but the major concern in this situation is the dog, which manages to severely injure three men working in the quarries before it is incapacitated.

This could have been so much terribly worse. About one season prior to this, the colony had amassed an army of about fifty or sixty aerofleet...all of which fortunately died in a raid when I moved the restricted zone to intercept a group of particularly ominous raiders. In hindsight, I am really glad I did this. However, now I'm thinking, great. My only psychic animal pulser, and I just wasted it on the colony animals.

Then I look at the raiding party.

The raiders landed in the worst bloody place imaginable. In a cul de sac. With one opening. Which is where I now notice an army of rhinos, muffaloes, squirrels and ferralisks are coming from to attack them. Boxed into a corner, the raiders can only die screaming horribly before the brunt of forty rampaging animals, while one panicky raider desperately tries to mine an escape route. By the time the escape route is opened, approximately half of the raiding party is either dead or in no condition to pose much of a threat. The remainder flee.

So the raiders will no longer be a problem. But we still have problems of our own. While the raiders are still desperately fighting for their lives against all of the animals that were occupying the southeast corner of the map, I realize to my regret that virtually every other animal is headed right toward base. And the only thing standing between them and my colonists is a flimsy wooden wall (the only wooden wall still left in my mountain base, as it were) and a non-functional killbox. A group of stampeding rhinos effortlessly smash down the structure. And immediately there are ten huge creatures in my killbox. Props go to Vang, who held off that hostile line singlehandedly (albeit armed with an APB rifle), despite harboring serious injuries of her own while colonists finished dealing with our animals and rushed to support her. But by that time, the base was completely overrun. I had to station gunners in hallways adjacent to the killbox to prevent the defenders holding off the advancing line from being attacked from all sides.

In the end, we had three dead colonists (the three that were attacked by our dog, and a demented bouldermit that had snuck into camp through a gap I had lazily left in the southern wall, and it was a bloody fortunate thing that that area was cut off from the rest of the map from my building) and so many injured, we didn't have enough hospital beds to accommodate everyone. But after a grim battle, we finally turned the tide of fighting to our favor.

The saddest part of the whole ordeal is that our freezer had already become so bloated from vegetables and meals, there was really nowhere to put all the animal corpses.   
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: magans001 on April 05, 2019, 12:27:25 PM
I had an animal handler accidently get mauled by a bear he was trying to tame.  He lost vision in both eyes and was depressed for a while.  Later without any help from me, he started tailoring.  By two seasons he had created a bearskin hat, bearskin pants, and bearskin parka.  He was literally wearing the bear that took his eyes.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: thryllth on April 12, 2019, 01:16:50 AM
Had a colonist (temporary, I tend to throw wanderers and those calling for help out after a season) I think his name was Liam who refused to wear pants his entire time in the colony.  Note that he was not a nudist, he was not set to not wearing pants and he decidedly did have the negative moodlet for nudity but he just would not put them on and if I forced him to wear a pair he would take them off as soon as I cleared the forced clothing.  This persisted the entire winter as he had shown up at my door with a party of 6 howling barbarians after him in late Septober and by the time the raid was done it would have counted as abandoning him to die to banish due to the weather.  Up to this point all my colonists had been female and now here is this dude running around the halls all winter long missing a fairly important article of clothing.  Needless to say he was handed a gun and knife and shown the exit as soon as spring rolled around.
Title: Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
Post by: Kirby23590 on April 29, 2019, 02:06:17 AM
I had someone who threw a Tantrum in the colony... His was Gil... He was very upset from the intense pain after being downed by a lancer in melee combat, he was brawler and luckily had an Shield Belt...

So yeah he threw a tantrum and smashed some stuff for repairs... And then he started going into Eli's Room and Gil was smashing Eli's Bed... and Eli was sleeping on it!

The problem... Eli doesn't care... He had the Heavy Sleeper Trait from Psychology, and was snoring the entire time! And no disturb sleeps were given...

Gil: RARAAHHHHHHHH!!!! GODDAMN THIS STUPID @$$ COLONY!!! RAHAHGHGHGH!!! *Smashes Eli's bed*
Eli: *Snores*
Gil: GAHHHHHHHH!! *Continues Smashing bed until the beg's leg falls off*
Eli: *Snores*
Gil: Whew... I had to get that out of my veins... Ah oh...
Eli: *Snores and Grabs his blanket and continues to sleep without any problem*
Gil: I had to get out of here before he wakes up...