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[The Wall. As told by Donald.]

The Wall. As told by Donald.

I built a wall. All around our base. We didn't have time to make it out of slate. Those raiders are greedy and they know about the money by now. So we had to build it fast. So I built my wall out of silver.

It was the greatest wall ever built. The greatest. I mean, China had a wall but it wasn't like this. This wall cost 15 000 silver and was 100% silver. I placed doors here and there so we could get in and out. We did it real good. Top notch quality.

I left an entrance at the north, riddled with invisible traps. People are dumb. I tell you and I tell you right now. People. Are. Dumb. I mean, who goes to the trouble of making this huge wall only to leave a tiny hole for you to walk in to? It's trapped! Of course it's trapped. But I tell you, people are dumb. And the raiders are the dumbest of all. Time and time again, they keep walking into the trap. There are so many deadfall traps there they barely even get past it all. Silver deadfall traps, mind you. And if they do... if they do get past the traps, we shoot them dead.

[Buddha]

Buddha

I miss birds. Back on my homeworld, birds would sing and you'd know it was morning. This place ain't so bad but it could do with more birds. I've got the living room all to myself now – smells like breakfast all day and makes it easy for me to cook. I love cooking for people.

There ain't much ingredients to work with. Alpaca meat, bought by Lillica that time. Cat meat, also bought by Lillica. Wolf meat. You get the idea. If we're lucky, Donald lets me use some potatoes or rice in our diet, but he usually points to the meat and says use that first since it will go off. Makes sense. He's a good leader. Firm, but sensible. And he's smart. He knows what he's doing.

I spend my day cooking mainly. Sometimes I milk the muffalos. As an ex-marine, if they need stuff moved, I move it too. Donald tried to show me how to grow some rice but that didn't work out so good. I tried to build a chair but it came out wobbly so Donald got me to take it apart again. Not sure what happened there – I got 60 silver and stuck them together to make a chair then when I took it apart there was only 40 or so left. Donald gave me a look like he thought I pocketed 20 silver or something but really, I think I was just as confused as him.

Lillica looked nice today. She'd just washed her hair and it was hanging out drying around her shoulders and it gleamed in the living room light as she ate a dinner with a potato I snuck in just for her. She gave me a smile and it's a smile I'll remember forever.

[Buddha. As told by Donald.]

Buddha. As told by Donald.



Caption: This is Buddha 2 years down the line. He started with cooking 6, artistic 11 and shooting 13 I think. He's my favourite pawn because of his optimist and steadfast traits – very useful traits in a cold place with no food in my opinion.

I no longer remember how Buddha joined us. I could ask him but then he'll think I'm dumb or something. I'm not stupid, you know. I'm 71 years old, I'm smart, I know things. But sometimes when you know a lot of things you just forget some things. Doesn't make you not smart.

Buddha's a young space marine. We've all forgotten his real name. He's Buddha to us. He always sees the positive side of life and takes insults with a smile to his face. He's a dumbass though – say shoot and he'll shoot, say haul and he'll haul – no questions asked. He spends all day cooking and hauling. It's meditative for him or something. We're all here freezing our asses off and complaining of the thread count in our clothing and he's humming a tune and grateful for the dead man's vest he's wearing that saved his life allegedly.

One day, we're sick of living in cramped quarters. I think there's 5 of us by now or something and we're all still packed in the one massive room that houses a kitchen, a dining room and a communal bedroom all in the original 7x7 room. The snoring is driving me mad. So we vote to all get separate rooms. As leader, I get the first separate bedroom. I also install the grand statue of Fernand in there to celebrate. Remember the statue that Lillica got from that town? It's BEAUTIFUL. The man there reminds me of my younger self. His pose shows confidence and power. His physique is magnificent. I can see why Lillica likes it – he looks just like me.



When we started building rooms, we agreed that we'd all get a private room each. But then we run out of space or energy to dig more rooms so Buddha here volunteers to keep sleeping in the kitchen-diningroom-bedroom. Says it's closer to the stove so he can keep cooking right up till bedtime – efficiency or something. Fine by me. It's his call. If he wants to be disturbed in the middle of the night as 5 people go take a piss outside or wake for an early breakfast, that's his business. Less digging for me.

Buddha is a champion. Nothing gets him down. Dead bodies? Oh Buuu-dhaaa, where aRRRRRRRe you? Tough as nails but dumb as a doorknob. The world is made up of Buddhas but they need a leader, you understand? That's where I come in. A leader.

[Lillica's first (of many) shopping trips]

Lillica's first (of many) shopping trips

Lillica, age 17. Notable skills social 6. Medicine 3 (burning passion / double flame).

It was cold. I had a t-shirt and pants and had to move quickly in order to keep my heat up. I got lost and the trip took longer – much longer – than I had anticipated. By the time I arrived, my fingers were blue, my ears were numb and my toes... I didn't even want to look at my toes.

The citizens have called their town "Politician's Municipality." Donald may like it here; I think he said he was a politician, or something like that. He also said he owned businesses. Plural. But out here on the rim, he's a nobody, just like everybody else. He may fit into this town though if he's a people person. But large towns are not for me.

They welcome me with a hot drink and the usual social chit chat. I don't enjoy it, but I have a job to do and so I trade the usual greetings before talking trading the goods.

I prioritise food and warmth, followed by security.

I walk away with 2 muffalos, hundreds of slices of raw meat, rice, potatoes, some meals, 2 assault rifles, a steel mace, a few parkas for the winter, all their components and a wooden grand sculpture of Fernand I just couldn't take my eyes off. Fernand is a celebrity where I came from. I think his gorgeous physique in our kitchen will really brighten things up. It'll brighten up my mood, that's for sure, heh heh.

[Lillica. As told by Donald.]

Lillica. As told by Donald.

I no longer remember how Lillica joined us. Lillica is 17 and female. Maybe that's the reason why I accepted. Lillica is pleasant to talk to and knows a thing or two about medicine. She constantly says no to my romantic advances, but I'm sure she'll come around one day. Who else is there? AmIright?

Lillica seems to know where the town is that I was trying to crash into but spending every day with Lillica has changed my mind. It's not so bad out here, starting a new colony. I can tell she thinks I'm beautiful and smart. The beauty of me is that I'm very rich. She accepts I'm boss and does what I say. I could learn to like life out here. We sleep in separate beds but within arms reach – for warmth. We sleep next to the electric stove, which is next to the butcher table which is next to the steel table and steel chairs. It's a little cramped, but it saves on heaters.

We have more silver than we know what to do with. Lillica suggests that she heads into town and see what she can buy. I'm not sure how comfortable I am letting a young lady like her hike into town on her own, but it's really cold here and we need warmer clothing. We could do with better weapons as well if the tales of raiders that Lillica tells me hold any truth. We could probably do with more food and essentials as well. The food will run out soon and we are a long way from being self-sufficient.

Lillica convinces me that the trip to town will take 4 hours, tops. She packs her bags, with a day's worth of food and as much silver as she can carry.

She leaves in the morning but fails to return by nightfall. I worry for her... and for myself. I spend a lonely night alone, pondering how many more lonely nights there will be for me.

Lights are whirling, buzzers are beeping, the temperature is rising and somewhere, there is the hissing noise of depressurisation as Trump's ship tears itself apart in a maelstrom of destruction.

This is what happens when you buy a ship with components made in China, Trump thought.

He was stuffing any essentials he could find like food into his crashpod. Other essentials include an assault rifle, a hairbrush and a million silver. With little time to lose, Trump hits the eject button and steers the pod to the only inhabitable settlement within sight. It looks like it's on ice sheet in hilly regions. Looks cold.




Caption: Average temperature -20.7 C (-5 F). Growing period – never.

Trump misses the settlement with his crashpod, landing westwards by 2 hexes. He was meant to start with 1 000 000 silver but the spawn radius permitted only a maximum of about 250 000 silver – the rest we'll chalk up to having burnt up on atmospheric entry.

Trump's first thought was to pick up all the silver and food, march into the nearest town and get voted for presidency there, but he quickly realised he could only carry 10 000 silver at most, less if he were to pack food and a gun. He wasn't convinced he would ever be able to find his remaining silver again in these god-forsaken mountains if he walked off now with just a fraction of it. It was also very very cold and he had no warm clothing. A trip would have to wait. Instead, he spots an old building made of limestone walls, carved into the side of a mountain. The place is not too shabby, a 7x7 with tiled floors. All it needed was a door and you could survive the night here.

Looking around for building materials, Trump counts around 500 steel and 500 wood, but by far the most abundant material in the vicinity would be silver. So the door is made from silver. As are the beds, the tables, the chairs and any future walls. Money may not be everything... but on the rimworld, it is.

Shoddy silver bed? Deconstruct! Remake! I refuse to sleep in anything less than a normal quality bed. I am too beautiful for a reason and I am smart enough to know that quality makes a difference.

[Scenario played:]

Scenario played: Donald Trump.
Difficulty: Random Randy Rough on icesheet.

Brief summary of scenario:
After 4 years of presidency, Trump had saved the world by building a wall around Mexico, telling everyone that he loves China, bombing the middle east until it was a crater and then banning the muslim refugees who fled the destruction. Knowing that his work was done he launched himself into space to find another world to save.

Your faction will be a colony.
Start with 1 person.
He will be between 66 and 70 years old.
Starting character will have the traits beautiful and too smart.
Start with:
- meals, steel, components and wood.
- Silver x1000000 and some gold
- Glitterworld medicine
- Assault rifle



Narrator: This screenshot comes 2 years after the crashland. I'm writing this story now, 2 years later, with the hope that the story will eventually catch up to current gameplay. Trump certainly didn't start with such good stats. In particular, he was a poor grower and a much weaker constructor and miner. His "too smart" trait has helped him level-up his skills tremendously over the last 2 years.

This is my first story. I aim to upload something new every day or two until I catch up to the current storyline. If the pictures end up deleted after a few months, you can head to https://www.rimworld-stories.com/ and search for donald trump to see the full story.

I would love to hear feedback. Thank you for letting me share my amazing Donald Trump story with you.