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Messages - joebob1337

#1
His name was Keuneke. He was a colesium cleaner as a child and became a medieval knight with a whopping 17 in melee with brawler, strong, and jogger. He was immediately equipped with the knife and that is what started his legacy.
Only a few days in, where everyone still lived in a closed off cave, the Federation decided to raid me with 3 dudes with blaster pistols. He got there before my other two (Ollie, my researcher/sniper/doctor and Big Red, my farmer/builder/crafter).
He proceeded to stab the crap out of the 3 and stood victorious over them with only a few burns. A few days after that, Big Red finally got around to smithing him a superior plasteel long sword.
He defended the colony valiantly in its infancy. Fighting pirates, tribals, the Empire; didn't matter what he was fighting, he would cut them down like a hot knife through butter. He eventually passed his 100th kill against some traders he raged upon after a bear ate his cat, Fluffernut. The traders fell quickly, which on one hand, gave me tons of silver and other cool items (got an AT rifle for Ollie and a heavy SMG for Red), while on the other hand, pissed off their faction (Which I was close friends with).
Fast forward a few months, defending raid after raid, Keuneke was getting quite scarred. Atleast 50% of his body parts were scarred. He had no armor yet, only wearing some mismatch of clothing. Red built him a superior armor vest, which has saved him many times.
Then disaster struck.
A psychic ship part crashed literally right on top of my farm. (Which I'm pretty sure pissed off Red). We got our guys in position, which 5 of us, not counting our pacifist, Rossetti, our new doctor. Keuneke was the only melee guy because he killed any person he dared to charge him. With all of our guns pointed at the ship, Keuneke was the one to break it.
There was a centipede and 3 sythers.
ohgod.jpg
My four guys opened fire (AT rifle, heavy SMG, Lee Enfield, and revolver) at the sythers, who swarmed Keuneke almost instantly.
He fought valiantly, albeit for only a short while. While dodging and taking fire from both the cetipede, who had a minigun, and fire from our guys, managed to take out a scyther and badly damaged another one before The others managed to take them down. They all moved in to kill the centipede. Keuneke running in there like he always does and managed to get the final blow.
After the fight, almost everyone had made it inside to get healed by Rossetti. Keuneke was just about to pickup one of his fallen comrades but he couldn't for some reason. I was going to check his health, but then a raid came.
There was about 10 raiders.
omfgwtfrip.jpg
The crew hauled their beaten bodies back to defensive positions while Keuneke charged them. A few minutes later, the pirates were dead and Keuneke was still standing. After the battle, Keuneke tried to pick up his comerade, who was still down from the fight with the mechs, but he still cant. I look at his health.
He is missing his right arm.
Wat.
He fought the mechanoids and the raid in succession without his dominant arm!?
Then he collapses due to blood loss.
The guys quickly recovered him and the fallen comerade and got them to the medical ward. The other guy (Can't bother to remember his name) recovered pretty quickly because he was weak and he only received a small amount of damage. Keuneke, on the other hand, was near death. Infections on all his limbs, destroyed lung, destoyed kidney, brain damage, this guy is a vegetable at this point. The infections were so bad that we had to amputate his remaining limbs. He didn't wake up when he was "fully" healed. We made him advanced bionic limbs and synthetic organs and attached them, but he still was in a coma. Then I remembered there was an AI unit in the crashed ship part. We took that and made an AI matrix and installed it into Keuneke.
Keuneke rose once more.
I pretty much yelled out in joy to see him. Since he was in a coma, Red had been building home something if he ever woke up again. When he exited the med ward, he was greeted with a set of Excellent power armor, Excellent power armor helmet, and the best of all, a legendary vancidium battleaxe.
After this, he was unstoppable. Cutting down tribals, pirates, and mechs, the federation, and the imperials alike.
Then my worst fear came.
I get a notification that I was being raided by the imperials, no biggie. When I saw them, they had 3 AT-ATs.
Whyyyyyyyyy.
I mobilized my entire colony to their defensive positions while Keuneke stood right in the middle of the field. (Imagine the scene where Luke stands in front of the AT-AT things in the new Star Wars movie).
Then it started.
He charged the AT-ATs. He fought as hard as he could, even taking out one of them, but before he could finish the second one, the third one released a volley onto him, striking him down.
After managing to somehow survive the ordeal, Red started work on his tomb. Almost surviving for 8 years, gaining close to 500 kills, Keuneke was buried in a vancidium sarcophagi next to his dog.

Rest In Peace you beutiful bastard.
#2
Stories / Re: (B18) Frozen Fingers
January 04, 2018, 11:00:39 AM
I think he was joking they ate Sephera's eye.
#3
General Discussion / Re: Succession game anyone?
March 15, 2017, 09:44:19 AM
I'd be up for it.
#4
Off-Topic / Re: Count to 9000 before Tynan posts!
February 03, 2017, 11:23:34 AM


Yo peeps
#5
Do you take requests?
#6
Alpha 14 run, Hardcore SK pack. I was doing pretty well, 3 years in when my frames started to drop. I thought it was my computer overheating so I turned it off. When I returned it was still frame-ey. Then I thought it was just because of my large colony so I set the speed to two. The frames were still dropping, now I'm not even getting a single frame a second so I pause the game to see what's happening and I kid you not, there were LITTERAL THOUSANDS of wargs at the top of the map. I used the debug explosion on the mass but they kept spawning like ten per second! I got a good chuckle from it after it crashed my game.
#7
Releases / Re: [A14] Orassans
July 28, 2016, 08:30:03 PM
For some reason they dont have tails, help?
#8
Outdated / Re: [A13] Animu Hair (3.5.2016)
July 28, 2016, 07:31:10 PM
Yup, that is exactly what happened, was thinking of xevas, My mistake!
#9
Outdated / Re: [A13] Animu Hair (3.5.2016)
July 28, 2016, 07:11:45 PM
For some reason I only get a few of the hairs, spiky, messy, onion, pig tails, samurai, and smoothhawk. Wasnt there more it the A13 version? Is this a bug or intended?
#10
For some strange reason when I try to play this mod, after a minute or two of normal gameplay my colonists will just stop what they are doing and they just say that they are standing. Pls help this modpack is really cool ;-;