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Ha!  Well played sir.  In my case it is just that I am old, retired, have too much time on my hands and currently my country is starting the third week of quarantine.

My name is EbolaKush and ive been playing rimworld since 2013-2014 and im pretty much sure that i have around 1200-1500 hours on the game itself.  . . .

Ask me anything 

Great.  Thanks for stepping up.  I've been playing since alpha-something but I only have 8,600 hours.  My question is:  Why do we spend so much time and effort on such a maddeningly frustrating game?

I've accepted a slow learner pawn.  Already had skilled colonists in each field and needed a janitor/hauler. His health and melee skill was ok.

Yes.  After you get six or so colonists it is helpful to have a dedicated haulbot/cleanbot.  Frees your skilled guys from wasting their time on necessary but menial tasks.

I have had the passing travelers get me both into and out of some situations before. As "story teller helpers" they do just fine.

I had them walk through a bug cave.
I had them appear right as a siege was starting.
I had them get hunted by a bear. Free bear meat, and the pawn he took down ended up joining after I rescued them.

Granted it's better when that happens to a trader. All the junk they drop is fair game. But it's still nice for the random help on occasion.

Yes.  I have had traders/visitors on the map when an animal went mad or raiders dropped in.  It is nice to have meat or booty to loot when I didn't have to take any damage.  It isn't a frequent occurrence but it isn't that rare either.  Otherwise I just ignore them and let them use my table.

. . .  get your shit outta here.

I've gotta second what my cousin said.

Is this perhaps a clue that Tynan is the Willard of the squirrels?

Full disclosure:  I don't play Randy and hearing your story I'm not likely to any time soon.

In my current game I got a crop blight mid-summer after first planting, followed by an early Autumn cold snap that killed everything that the blight didn't get.  Then winter came and killed off everything my guys planted in late Autumn (40/60 growing season).

I hunted the entire local map clear of all wildlife and picked every berry bush until mid-spring when the first harvest came in.  Pain in the ass to manage when I needed to be building infrastructure and finding ore veins, but everyone survived.  Well, not everyone, one got the plague and another got stomped by a rhino, but the weather had nothing to do with those.  Challenging but not insurmountable.

https://cityofthesky.com/RimworldAccuracyCalculator.html .

Well that is an unusually useful tool.  I wish we had that for all wearable/equip-able gear.  Sorry, but I can't answer your question.

Heat waves and cold snaps are severe but not extinction events usually and are RL analogs.  Toxic fall out is a bitch, however.

one potentially spicy option would be to pick abrasives + staggering uglies + creepy breathing + bloodlusts (bonus: head scars for disfigured and all the ex-es you can find) and go for multiple social fights a day. Then you got the mood problems covered because everyone is insulting each other and constantly in pain.

another spicy option is go for resource taxation where your colony is full of so many lazies and worthless that you cant get anything done. for this I would prioritize - gourmand / sickly / slothful / lazy / volatile / depressive. Gourmand is obviously an all star, this is the one I would pick for all 3, sickly gives you extra 'presents' every 2 months or so and further taxes your work output, slothful/lazy to make putting food on the table a challenge.

You are one sick puppy.