Ever wanted to send a note to your colonists? Something like this:
Dear Jones,
You will notice that you now have a bionic eye to replace the one that was scarred in the Boomalope Incident of 5502. You will also notice that your left eye is now in your right eye socket, and your nose has been replaced by an artificial duplicate. Please disregard these changes. Our doctors are still learning.
--Management
Dear Bren,
We are aware of your preference for... exotic food. We are attempting to indulge you with your own special butcher's shop and dining room. We request that you use these facilities, so that nobody has to see you eating the remains of their beloved grandmother, who at 73 years old was still spry enough to wield an incendiary launcher and burn an ear off our best trader. The fact that you are now in the infirmary with a broken jaw, a missing right thumb, and a newly-minted Rival, is your own fault.
--Management
Dear Jones,
You will notice that you now have a bionic eye to replace the one that was scarred in the Boomalope Incident of 5502. You will also notice that your left eye is now in your right eye socket, and your nose has been replaced by an artificial duplicate. Please disregard these changes. Our doctors are still learning.
--Management
Dear Bren,
We are aware of your preference for... exotic food. We are attempting to indulge you with your own special butcher's shop and dining room. We request that you use these facilities, so that nobody has to see you eating the remains of their beloved grandmother, who at 73 years old was still spry enough to wield an incendiary launcher and burn an ear off our best trader. The fact that you are now in the infirmary with a broken jaw, a missing right thumb, and a newly-minted Rival, is your own fault.
--Management