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Wish granted, however it really is not by much, and it was down right bad, shameful even. Should've have wished to never talk about cat instead it would have been less painful.


I wish to have a nice sleep tonight and not suffer any horrible or deadly consequences because of that.

Wish granted, nobody saw the post about cat enslaving mankind, why? Because despite being replicated by aliens, the guerilla cats were only reintroduced to Earth and only Earth which was essentially abandoned by 99.9999999999999999999% of mankind who knew better than to keep living on the same planet of those filthy liars (the cats only enslaved a blind and deaf grandma who didn't see or heard everyone else leaving).
As said previously this will stay like that until the last day of Earth. At which point cats will go extinct forever and never reappear.


I wish I could write all of my ideas into bestselling novels with ease.

Wish granted, several space agency try to get funding by sending cat on the ISS to create space cat memes. This end up into a catastrophic failure as one of the cat damage a critical part of the station once released. Soon enough all human astronaut have to abandon the station, the cat who clawed itself on the face of an astronaut keep them from de-orbiting properly and they all burn during reentry.
Because of the loss of the invaluable ISS, of dozen of valorous astronauts, and all credibility for space agency. Any mention to "Feline astronaut" will forever be followed by "NEVER AGAIN" and when the last day of Earth will come, when humanity and other Earthly animals will have colonized the galaxy. Only one species will be left to die on a dead Earth: cat


I wish mankind stopped funding the retarded ideas of sending humans to the surface of Mars and rather funded other research which will actually make mankind progress as a spacefaring civilization.
good luck understanding my rant

Wish granted, however this is because after that release, the entire game industry will simply crumble forever into mediocrity, faking continuous development forever but with every update turned into extremely limited and bland DLC and Horizon pass. As a result Rimworld 1.0 will be the best (and last) addition to any game : the one and last time a game declare itself forever finished and don't sell false hope to new players.


I wish I had a snowboard-shaped board that allow me to fly as I want.

Wish granted, your new reason to do more work is that if you don't the slave driver will whip you again and not feed you again.


I wish for the sun to rise tomorrow as it always did (just in case it don't).

[I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR !]

Wish granted, however whoever set your goals had Japanese RPG and pay2win in mind, your goals in life are now:
- To make 1000 (good) friendship
- Enter the top 1000 of the wealthiest persons in the world
- Marry with someone
- Have a son and a daughter
- Get grand-son and grand-daughter
- Live 100 years
- Explore 10% of every landmass of Earth
- Collect every... **roll for random hobby** ...Pepsi can model
- Never ever corrupt someone's wish in your life


I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Wish granted, in 1940 as you were walking on the bridge of a small town a guardian angel come and save you from an accident, however it cost its life and you fall into a deep depression, leading you to jump off the bridge to your death after that.


I wish I had an infinite supply of Stollen cake without any corruption typically associated with wishing for edible thing.

Wish granted, you see one. You then die second later crushed by an asteroid.


I wish you all a merry Christmas.

Wish granted, communism is a things again and just like before it is soon corrupted into something far far from what you wanted it originally.


I wish my kun-fu to be better than Li Lianjie.

Wish granted, you have one. It give you an infinite amount of confetti, whether or not you want it. It is fun at first, but as you can't stop it you try to lock it up into a chest. But the confetti teleport to you.
After month of such hilarity the world learn of you and grow very concerned about the walking ecological disaster you are. They try to make it and you useful but the confetti can't even be burned as fuel and plans of infinite-confetti-propelled-rocket turn bad as the confetti left in space are incredible hazard.
Eventually you have to run away as fanatic believe that if they kill you they will stop the calamity you've become. Throwing confetti is now considered the most insulting thing you can do to someone.


I wish I could open and close portal to world built out of my imagination any time I want.

Wish granted, you can talk to animal, however you can't understand what they answer you... if they do.
The thing is that almost every animals Loath the human race for destroying the environment and refuse to show they can understand you. Even domestic pets don't answer or hate you for castrating them. Dogs don't actually care about you and just say gimmi-food, and cats are all plotting your death and everything you say will be used against you.

I wish I had a 3D printer that can reproduce any meal I want (as edible as the real thing) and don't require more than electricity.

Wish granted, as you are cooking you end up cooking so badly that whatever you where cooking explode in a big and showy way with the windows exploding and thick white smoke coming out. Leaving your kitchen destroyed and you covered with soot and holding a pan from which come out a skull looking aroma. You decide to clean up your mess and 10 minute later it is like there never was a powerful room-destroying explosion.
You end up rethinking about this wish but wonder how it can be a tropes since for you it is now nothing out of the ordinary.
Doing a search prove unsuccessful as you can only find a trope where in a fiction cooking badly result in, not in a explosion, but instead in the stew overflowing, tasting bad and making a big mess.

(ts... it took such a long time to grant this wish, next time I'll just use TVtropes approved tropes)



I wish for the next poster to meet a lethal chef

Wish granted, the fact you brought this old stuff back is already a never-ending torture for anyone, however as I already live in an apartment you didn't have to take me to anywhere so you are alone while I will painfully ignore you.


I wish Comic and Anime comedy tropes like "hammer appearing out of nowhere", "hiding behind a lamp post" or "inconsequential explosive cooking" was possible in real life.

Wish granted, you are capable of solving all of your problems. However doing so only lead to you seeing your next problems and so on indefinitely.
As you are about to address the problem of having problems at all you deduce that stopping causality (and time) is the only way to prevent any more problems from ever happening.
You are thus cursed to be able to solve ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS FOREVER but destroy the universe if you ever do so.

I wish to assassinate the next poster.

Wish granted, you are capable of making a bread that never do dry, instead it goes moist.
However its taste is absolutely horrible and it's pretty bad for health as well, since you do not injure yourself needlessly you refuse to ever taste your own bread.


I wish the AI of the games "Total War" weren't cheating so badly and the easy difficulty was actually easy.