Character Draft - Nicolas "Rave" Meyer

[Rave!]

Childhood: Urban Rat
Born to deep in the tunnels beneath the broken and cracked surface of an Urban World, Nick spent his life living in the holes and tunnels that winded into the infinite labyrinth that was known as the Crucible, hidden away from the monoliths of the surface. Everyone this young boy had ever cared about was torn away from him by the death and destruction of his home world. He learned to hate and to be a cold killer as he lived by the gun as he fought against anyone that stood in his way towards ascension.

    Construction - 0
    Growing - *Disabled*
    Research - *Disabled*
    Mining - +2
    Shooting - +3
    Melee - +2
    Social - 0
    Cooking - *Disabled*
    Medicine - 0
    Artistic - *Disabled*
    Crafting - *Disabled*

Adulthood: Wandering marshal

Having grown weary of death and strife, he resolved to leave his old life behind and use his abilities to help others that can't help themselves. Leaving his home world, he began traveling the known universe as a wandering Marshal, aiding those in need.

    Construction - 0
    Growing - *Still Disabled*
    Research - *Still Disabled*
    Mining - 0
    Shooting - +3
    Melee - 0
    Social - +4
    Cooking - *Still Disabled*
    Medicine - +2
    Artistic - *Still Disabled*
    Crafting - *Still Disabled*

Total for skill offsets:

    Construction - 0
    Growing - *Disabled*
    Research - *Disabled*
    Mining - +2
    Shooting - +6
    Melee - +2
    Social - +4
    Cooking - *Disabled*
    Medicine - +2
    Artistic - *Disabled*
    Crafting - *Disabled*

[zayzayem]

Looks like you're trying really hard to make this a shooting character. Not that there is aything wrong with that.

Like the urbworld rat idea. Don't know if it should have shooting though (guns are expensive), perhaps more melee.

Also not sure about the name for Marshal for hire. What definition of "marshal" are you using http://www.thefreedictionary.com/marshal
Seems to mean a high ranking military officer (who shouldn't be for hire), a sherrif/police officer (again not for typically available for hire) or a law clerk (not what you are meaning I think).
Perhaps "Bounty hunter" or "Gun for hire" would be better titles.

Also I think you are meant have background descriptions that are generic and can be mix 'n' matched by the computer to create new characters, so referring to the childhood in the adulthood may not always make sense.

[TechnicPyro]

Keep in mind that their are free lance military groups that are "guns for hire" making it plausible for the character to be a Marshal for hire.  Not to mention that what Rave is saying sounds like the character just happens to have a somewhat military background and wants to protect people.  He could very much be a bodyguard.

[zayzayem]

That's really not how PMCs work.
I'm not sure that they have Marshals. And if they did, I doubt they'd be the ones being hired out given their high rankingness.

All my comments were in good faith as constructive feedback on an idea posted for constructive feedback.

Marshal just doesn't match the description given.

I'm also curious how a lone gun, saviour of the little people got the nickname "Rave".

[Rave!]

Looks like you're trying really hard to make this a shooting character. Not that there is aything wrong with that.

Like the urbworld rat idea. Don't know if it should have shooting though (guns are expensive), perhaps more melee.

Also not sure about the name for Marshal for hire. What definition of "marshal" are you using http://www.thefreedictionary.com/marshal
Seems to mean a high ranking military officer (who shouldn't be for hire), a sherrif/police officer (again not for typically available for hire) or a law clerk (not what you are meaning I think).
Perhaps "Bounty hunter" or "Gun for hire" would be better titles.

Also I think you are meant have background descriptions that are generic and can be mix 'n' matched by the computer to create new characters, so referring to the childhood in the adulthood may not always make sense.

I agree with you, that shooting wouldn't be a skill that comes from being an Urbrat and that melee would be far more applicable. But in terms of being a Marshal, I think I just got lazy with naming the class and should have called it Wandering Marshal instead because that's more applicable as a wandering lawman that goes from colony to colony dispensing justice to all those that need it.

I'm not sure about the mix n' match thing cause this is supposed to be a unique character. But I can adjust for that sort of thing easily.

The nickname comes for a short story I had worked on where he liberated a Agricultural colony from the clutches of a tyrannical Noble by the name of Wyatt where he blew up the arsenal during the Great Harvest Festival and filled the sky with colorful fireworks that signaled the rebels in the hills to attack and seize the town from the Noble man and liberate it.

[zayzayem]

I agree with you, that shooting wouldn't be a skill that comes from being an Urbrat and that melee would be far more applicable. But in terms of being a Marshal, I think I just got lazy with naming the class and should have called it Wandering Marshal instead because that's more applicable as a wandering lawman that goes from colony to colony dispensing justice to all those that need it.

I'm not sure about the mix n' match thing cause this is supposed to be a unique character. But I can adjust for that sort of thing easily.

The nickname comes for a short story I had worked on where he liberated a Agricultural colony from the clutches of a tyrannical Noble by the name of Wyatt where he blew up the arsenal during the Great Harvest Festival and filled the sky with colorful fireworks that signaled the rebels in the hills to attack and seize the town from the Noble man and liberate it.

Yeah. I've reread the guidelines about character creation.

Just remember it is misleading to call it character creation - you are creating backstories - characters will change in individual gameplays.

Tynan says to make unique backstories that can come in a set if you want. Have a look at how the current backstories go together and work. I think the mix 'n' matching isn't as important as I thought, but I think it is something to consider. http://rimworldwiki.com/Backstories

I think if you want a story that he liberated a farming colony - make that the adulthood story (Farmworld Liberator or Farmworld Lawman).

Cos I've been doing grammar and wording tweaks to everyone else's I've read:

Childhood: Urban Rat - Urbworld Rat
Born to deep in the tunnels beneath the broken and cracked surface of an Urban World Urbworld, NAME spent his life hidden away from the monoliths of the surface living in the holes and tunnels that winded into the infinite labyrinth that was known as the Crucible hidden away from the monoliths of the surface. Everyone this young boy NAME had ever cared about was torn away from him by the death and destruction of his home world. HE learned to hate and to be a cold killer as HE lived by the gun as he fought against anyone that stood in his way towards ascension.

Doing some more English research. "Crucible" being a metallurgy container - might better suit a modern Industrialworld, rather than an Urbworld, but it would be suitable eaither way.

Also as much as I originally like this idea - if you are looking to make something unique - I would steer clear of the cliche and overused "street urchin becomes great" idea. There are already several irchin backstories, and I've seen more on these forums. Also urchins are resourceful - is there a reason for all the labour disables (I think I can understand growing and research - but cooking - jeez that's a lifeskill)

Adulthood: Wandering marshal. (Better name than before! - perhaps consider lawman instead of marshal (which suggests a permanent official/government sponsored positing))
Having grown weary of death and strife, NAME resolved to leave HIS old life behind and use his abilities to help others that can't help themselves. Leaving HIS homeworld, he began traveling the known universe as a wandering Marshal, aiding those in need (explain this more... Marsha is not a common word and has ultiple meanings)


Alternative adulthood: Farmworld liberator
Having grown weary of death and strife, NAME resolved to leave HIS old life behind and use his abilities to help others that can't help themselves. On a medieval farming world ruled by the despot, Wyatt the Greedy, HE found such an opportunity. During that season's Harvest Festival HE sabotaged the despot's arsenal, signaling the rebels in the hills to attack teh towers and liberate their people.