The Tragic story of Squirrel the Pilot

[Saw Candyman]

This is the tragic tale of a cursed man. One day my colony was being raided by pirates. I rallied the troops and fought them off, and in the process I took a prisoner. The prisoner's name was Squirrel. After I captured him, I checked his injuries. I had shot off his left hand and destroyed his right lung. Somehow I managed to recruit him. He was always grumpy, and he was horrible at everything because he only had one hand. He couldn't even haul and clean because dumb labor was disabled. Eventually the poor chap went crazy and started punching everything in sight. I didn't want to put any colonists in danger, so I turned a turret on him. He went into shock, but I managed to shoot both his eyes. Now he had one hand, one lung, and no usable eyes. His pain was always at 35%. He died with the rest of my colony when Tynan released a new version of Rimworld.