Corrupt-A-Wish

Started by NewJack, February 28, 2016, 11:33:36 PM

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NewJack

  RULES:
1. True - The wish asked for must come true, but in a horrible way. Saying that the wish doesn't come true is Denial. You may not deny a wish, there are no exceptions. You may, however, Revert someone's corruption/wish, if it fails to follow the rules.

2. Corruptible - Your wish must be corruptible. Refrain from asking for an ultimately, and bluntly, incorruptible wish.

3. Logic - The corruption must make some minimal-sort of logical sense, and be relevant to the wish.

4. Horrid - The corruption must be horrible, refrain from one-line corruptions, and expand upon what happens because of the wish.

5. Wish - You must make a wish, otherwise, your entire corruption of where the wish should have been is invalid. Instead of editing to add your wish, you must make a second comment before someone else realizes, and posts, that you failed to have a wish.

6. Edits - Heavily refrain from editing your corruptions/wishes, instead, make a new comment before anybody else if you forget your wish. If you're wanting to change a wish/corruption, you may not. Think wisely.

7. Revert - An available option for those who believe someone failed to uphold a rule. Please state which rule, or rules, when you Revert someone's corruption, wish, or comment. Unlike "Denial", this is a legal action, but only valid when a rule was broken.

8. Satisfaction - If a corruption/wish doesn't meet the above standards, but is accepted by whom's wish was corrupted, or is going to corrupt said below-standard wish, then it overrules all of the above rules.
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Let me start : I wish I could pull a rabbit out of my hat. I also wish for a hat.
A lesser light asked Ummon

Are there multiple futures

Ummon answered

Does a dog have fleas

NewJack

   Your wish has been granted! Yet your hat was a Bondage and Sadomy leather cap and you could only pull out rotten dead rabbits.

  I wish for a cup of ramen noodles
A lesser light asked Ummon

Are there multiple futures

Ummon answered

Does a dog have fleas

Kraehe

You get your cup of ramen, but it is filled with living maggots.

I wish the Nintendo NX would be released next week.

Limdood

You get your midget, however, he is a very loudmouthed, obnoxious fellow.  Additionally, everyone knows he's YOUR midget to deal with.  Finally, he does all your chores...once...and now you must take good care of him (remember, the authorities are watching how you treat him!) until the end of his natural life....enjoy your new layabout dependent!

I wish I were financially well-off and secure.

muffins

#4
You get your wish while accessing your safety deposit box at your bank. You hear some kind of emergency evacuation announced on the intercom and turn your head just in time to see a bank employee hurriedly close the vault door without checking if anyone was still inside. You pound the massive vault door for a few minutes before trying your phone. Inside the vault, behind three meters of concrete and steel, the reception is appalling and you only manage a couple dozen seconds of connected calls in the four hours it took the battery in your phone to die. From the few garbled words from friends and family that you managed to understand you work out what happened. There was a major nuclear leak. There is a 70km exclusion zone. It will be in place for at least a year, and probably forever. No-one is coming back to open the vault door.

You are at least surrounded by pallets and pallets of currency, and completely and utterly secure, entombed in an impregnable bank vault.

The oxygen only lasts a week.

I wish I had a chocolate cheesecake.

RickyMartini

You now own a chocolate cheesecake, sadly it is currently stored on the moon. You can go and retrieve it whenever you want though!

I wish I was high on potenuse.

Crazyabe

Granted, you Die and Your Soul is Forced to exist as An Episode of Key and Peele, I hope You like being Dead AND non-Sentient.

I wish For the Ability to View the Future.
I'm from the Dwarf fortress forums, "Ethical" is not a part of my Vocabulary.

Fluffy (l2032)

Granted, you can now see the future. Always, wether you want to or not. You can however not change it, since you've already seen it happening. You now have to live knowing all the suffering you, your loved ones, and the human race must go through - without being able to do anything about it. As your life now consist of being a puppet in a permanent deja-vu, you're slowly driven insane.

I wish A13 would not break my mods.

Matthiasagreen

Wish granted. I will ensure a13 does not break your mods by esnuring it never gets released. Everyone hates you now.

I wish for every shoe my enemy buys to be slightly too small.
Hi, my name is Matthias and I am a Rimworld Addict. It has been five seconds since my last fix...

Listen1

Your wish is granted, and since everyone can be your enemy, even yourself, every shoe on earth is slightly too small. Including the one you are using right now.

I wish for a formula to eat more and lose weight

TheGentlmen

Granted, in fact you loose so much weight that you become a pile of bones. Now we can feed you whatever we want, but it just seems to go right though you.

I wish I could get someone to do my work for me.

Crazyabe

Granted, It's you.

I wish for my actions to never cause problems for me.
I'm from the Dwarf fortress forums, "Ethical" is not a part of my Vocabulary.

TheGentlmen

Granted, your actions never cause you problems. Sadly your body causes you the problems.
Quote from: Crazyabe on March 10, 2016, 07:24:36 PM
Granted, It's you.
:(
I wish I could get someone to do my work for me who isn't me.

StorymasterQ

Done, someone is doing your work, but now you're doing their work, and they are a quality tester for a suppository device.

Simply, I wish for cake.
I like how this game can result in quotes that would be quite unnerving when said in public, out of context. - Myself

The dubious quotes list is now public. See it here

Listen1

Your wish is granted, now every wish you have will be for cakes. Its frosting, its softness, its taste... too bad you didn't wish for a cake.

I want to be a pie!