Corrupt-A-Wish

[mabor0shi]

wish granted. nothing happens. it is uneventful.

i wish people would stop trying to be clever with their wishes

[catter]

Granted, you soon leave in order to get away from plain, boring wishes that have no character to them because no one wants to be clever enough to make creative wishes. You later try to make it creative again, but you die and end up meeting Kegereneku's double who hasn't seen anyone since a year ago. Even the double is unbearable in the hell apartment.

I wish I was found alive.
(As a side note, I also hope for people to stop constraining other people's wishes)

[mabor0shi]

Your hopes go unnoticed, but your wish is granted. You are found alive and guilty of first degree murder for killing mabor0shi over creative differences. You are sentenced to death and executed by firing squad. Once again, you arrive at the hell apartment with your tail between your legs. Kegereneku's double starts picking on you right away, because you invented him and he hates himself. He tries to give you a swirly, but there is no water in the toilet. It is hell, after all.

I wish to be more comfortable around other people.

[catter]

Wish granted, however you find people boring now when you used to find people annoying. You then try to be recreational but there is nothing to create with besides your hair and clothes. Everyone in the hell apartment now won't come near you or look at you unless it is important. A cameraman sometimes comes over to visit and take tapes of you. Your image gets put into some people's nightmares...

I wish for the double to be replaced with the original.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, however the magical genie granting wish couldn't make sense anymore of the more and more complex multi-layered self-cross-referenced private jokes and in-the-know need-to-know unspoken time-looping passive-aggressive revenge masquerade that started a forgotten amount of page earlier. So instead he'll accomplish your wish and then kill you using in a cheap way as he couldn't be bothered to only make a strictly literal interpretation of your wish in an amusingly original unexpected way with no added elements : You now have two identical Kegereneku who both believe to be the original, then rock fall and kill everybody.

tl;dr : Rock fall, everybody dies.

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I wish for the SCP-foundation to finally kill SCP-682

[mabor0shi]

Kegereneku, that was very funny and I agree. Let's forget the past and start over.
Wish granted: The request to use SCP-689 to execute SCP-682 was granted by ██████. SCP Foundation placed all Class D personnel who were exposed to SCP-689 into SCP-682's containment chamber along with SCP-689 itself. The lighting at [the location] was turned on and off intermittently until all parties within the chamber were deceased. However, one of the Class D personnel received warning from [Level 2 staff member] in advance and escaped. [Level 2 staff member] falsified information on [3 documents] to show that [escaped Class D] had not directly observed SCP-689. Appropriate consequences were enacted upon [Level 2 staff member]. [Escaped Class D] fled the facility, traversed the no-man's-land, and entered into [nearby residential zone] before having both kidneys and heart implode. A civilian (dubbed Subject K) discovered SCP-689 just before it was destroyed by [field agents] pursuing [escaped Class D]. Destruction was achieved from a distance of 20 meters. [Field agent] used ██████ successfully to melt SCP-689. Subject K has been detained indefinitely for observation to help determine whether SCP-689 was fully neutralized. As of [now], Subject K is currently undergoing extensive testing under the supervision of Dr. ██████.
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I wish Kegereneku hadn't made me research his bizarre fantasy world in order to grant his wish, because these obscure-referencing wishes (like the Bag of Holding I had to research before) are a pain in the ass.

[catter]

Wish granted, but you now forget who you are and you have to research who you were before you forgot about yourself. You eventually give up and begin a new life where you don't ever enter this forum again. Guess I'm alone once again in the hell apartment...

I wish for mabor0shi to join me in the apartment.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, marb0shi suddenly appear with you in the apartment, however that joke was already boring three page ago and nothing funny result of granting it.

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I wish for mabor0shi to get a cold but edible strawberry-banana milkshake and the opportunity to savor it for his throughout effort at analyzing others' wish. Sincerely I expected you to cut to the point rather than roleplay the point.

[catter]

Wish granted, he gets a strawberry-banana milkshake and savors it, only he must savor it no matter what the toppings. The toppings are many disgusting things I pulled out of the trash.

I wish we could be more creative.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are more creative in a way akin to Salvador Dali or Picasso, few are the people who can even begin to comprehend what your strange surrealistic prose and alien syntax actually mean. Some Art Major would say that your style have evolved beyond the inner contradiction of the self and the shelf to a minimalist approach stripped of Ego (and soul).
But everybody else have no clue and just laughed.

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I wish I was a good cook.

[catter]

(first: WHAAAAAAAAT? I said we... not me)
(second: ) Granted, you are now a great cook, but you die one day because of a war that you enlisted in for some reason. Now the only thing you can do is join the torture squad in your hell apartment.

I wish to be tortured.

[mabor0shi]

(first: I, too, read it as me, not we. Should he correct his corruption?)
(second): Wish Granted. Kegerenku takes the torturer job, because it pays well and he doesn't give a shit about you. His torture of choice: tickling. At first, you find it disgusting and creepy. As the days wear on, you start to like it. You develop a Tickling Fetish. "It is so good to laugh from the touch of another person! Such pure joy!", you think. Even Kegerenku starts to enjoy it. In fact, the two of you grow to have romantic feelings for each other. But, you are ashamed of your burning desire for each other's bodies, because of the homophobic society you live in. Plus, the whole thing is really weird and you both know it. catter plays dead to stop the torture and Kegerenku thinks catter has been tickled to death and in a moment of guilt and despair, he abruptly kills himself with the feather duster he was using. catter is still tied to Kegerenku's bed and can't suicide or prevent himself from starving to death.
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I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.

[RyanRim]

I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.

Granted! You get out of your flat and wander into a mall, where a huge fire breaks down and you get grilled in a toilet.

I wish that people could get to Mars in next year

[mumblemumble]

I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.

Granted! You get out of your flat and wander into a mall, where a huge fire breaks down and you get grilled in a toilet.

I wish that people could get to Mars in next year

Granted, except it turns out to be an elaborate setup the scale of the truman show

I wish political correctness could die in a fire

[Kegereneku]

Granted, you now live in a world that do not enforce the slightest protection for FACTS, TRUTH or freedom of thought. Fascist, racist, misogynist, transphobe, social Darwinist, eugenicist, religious fundamentalist, internet troll and plain dumbass are now left unchecked and the next Hitlers are already rising up to power and already started subjugating by force people who think differently than themselves and killing people who merely seek the truth. The truth is now a fable for all you'll find are fake-news made by cult-leader, propaganda or plain social engineering.

Without anything like truth and justice around you are soon locked-in a cage because someone claimed you were an autist with inferior genetic & prone to emotional tantrum (you protested, ready to prove that it was false but someone shouted louder than you and nobody cared anymore). As you wait to be sold like a slave (because pro-slavery isn't censored anymore) you see burning the last remnant of "political correctness" : Books about "fact-based reporting" and "setting aside your irrational prejudice for social justice".

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I wish for this thread to become a safe place for everybody to have fun. (this one is served to you on a silver platter)