Corrupt-A-Wish

[catter]

Granted, everyone now speaks English as by the will of God. However, now that everyone understands what everyone says, verbal wars break out which soon turn to normal wars.

Welcome to the post-apocalyptic world after WWIII. Did you know this all started because the leaders of Egypt called the leaders of Israel stupid #$@!*(% and war soon broke out. It soon became like what happened in WWI where everyone aided the other, creating a global war with Thermonuclear Missiles and other weapons of war. BTW: You got caught in one of the blasts and are now on your way to some place unpleasant, like the hell apartments where you are contently tortured as Kegereneku, mabor0shi, and I fight about who caused this whole problem about the hell apartments.
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I wish I had a surprising welcome back party for coming back to this forum after a long time.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, a surprise "welcome back" have been organized in your honor, what made it surprising as "welcome back" party goes, is that everybody is looking at you the same way a pack of wolves look at the prey they surrounded.
We are all happy to see you.
You might not be happy to be back.

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I wish I had a magical computer (and accessory) capable of playing (solo) game that will only appear 20 years in the futures (and it come with game I like already installed and playable offline).

[dburgdorf]

Wish granted. You have a magical computer and relevant accessories, on which solo games you like are preinstalled and can be played offline. It's of amazing quality in every respect. It will appear 20 years in the future from today, and will only last for that day. (As you requested, the computer "will only appear 20 years in the future.") So enjoy it during the brief chance you have.

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I wish the revival of "Twin Peaks" was actually as good as I'd hoped it would be, instead of the pointlessly bizarre, tediously dull production I've been making myself slog through.

[catter]

Wish granted, the revival of "Twin Peaks" is no longer pointlessly bizarre and tediously dull. You don't have to even slog through it, it was discontinued and the company that made it was burned to the ground financially and literally.
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I wish my corruptions can be very bad without criticism.

[mumblemumble]

Wish granted. Your corruption is very bad. Nobody criticizes it though. Its just bad, and ignored, kinda like that one kid in grade school who was annoying and dorky but you  treated nice because you had to. Its still bad though, but, I never said this... I'm not criticizing it.

I wish more games were less watered down and had more meta-game physics to learn that took a long time to master

[catter]

Granted, games are just like that. The problem now is earning enough money to buy a game like that. Also, these games need more space in order to play and now require that you buy a new console, (or computer component) that will allow you to read the new disk type. Was this game really worth the tons of money poured into it? 
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I wish to be able to be criticized again.(With ad hominem attacks at a minimum please)

[Kegereneku]

I wish to be able to be criticized again.(With ad hominem attacks at a minimum please)

Granted, happy to be once again free of their wills everybody tell you what they really thought of you and your shitty smartass corruption and your even more shitty wish, what's up with that? Did you believe it would make you a special snowflake? No way! it just make you a regular flake, we will never get good corruption or wish from a CAT.

I wish I could corrupt my own wish.

[dburgdorf]

Granted! You can now corrupt your own wish! But in so doing... um... uh....

This is becoming too meta....

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I wish Kegereneku could corrupt his own wish to be able to corrupt his own wish....

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, Kegereneku can corrupt his own wish, unfortunately his wish came pre-corrupted which mean he will corrupt the wish he will in the future, which mean I can't corrupt dburgdorf wish's, which in turn make it impossible for Kegereneku to corrupt his wish granted, which in turn make it impossible for corruption to grant wish to

quote[&*^p"'##### REALITY v1.04 SUFFERED A CRITICAL FAILURE - PLEASE REBOOT AND CALL THE HOTLINE number: 666§999]/quote

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I wish my wish came pre-corrupted.

Wish granted, Kegereneku can corrupt his own wish, unfortunately his wish came pre-corrupted which mean he will corrupt the wish he will in the future, which mean I can't corrupt dburgdorf wish's, which in turn make it impossible for Kegereneku to corrupt his wish granted, which in turn make it impossible for corruption to grant wish to

quote[&*^p"'##### REALITY v1.04 SUFFERED A CRITICAL FAILURE - PLEASE REBOOT AND CALL THE HOTLINE number: 666§999]/quote

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I wish my wish came pre-corrupted.

[Names are for the Weak]

Granted, your wish comes pre-corrupted. However, since the point of this game is to corrupt wishes that seem good on paper, and your request is to have your wish already corrupted, your wish ironically can't be corrupted, and nothing bad happens, which in the context of the game is a bad thing, because you're supposed to corrupt wishes. Mission accomplished?

I wish I were the strongest man in the world.

[mellowautomata]

I wish I were the strongest man in the world.

Granted. Hopefully you won't feel too lonely with nobody else in it, though.

I wish to crack open a cold one with the boys

[catter]

Granted, when you enter your house you find one cold icicle with four frosty guys inside. Attached is an ice pick, however your neighbors saw this icicle with people inside and soon called the cops. You have 2 minutes to get those people free or else you will be arrested.
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I wish that I wasn't called a special snowflake and a regular flake.

[AllenWL]

Your wish is granted, and no one ever calls you 'a special snowflake and a regular flake' anymore. But don't worry! You're still a special snowflake .

I wish mosquitoes didn't exist.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, mosquito never existed. No flying parasitic blood sucking creature ever appeared. As a result, a lot of genetic-transfer through blood-sucking insect never happened, so mankind as we know it didn't appeared either.
The closest that exist of you is a flea.

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I wish I had the great powers of Spiderman and without the responsibility.

[catter]

Granted, you gain the powers of Spiderman by being bitten by a spider. Now, since you don't want to have any responsibility you will die because that spider was a brown recluse and it bit you many times because it was hungry. These bites were never cleaned up and never got anti-venom injected in because you didn't want the responsibility to care for the wounds inflicted on you. Because that would mean you would want to be responsible for your powers and try to heal the wounds that allowed you to get those powers. It is confusing, but it is true.

I wish I could punch somebody in the face through a TV.