Corrupt-A-Wish

[AllenWL]

Wish granted. You are now the luckiest person alive. Everything goes your way.
If you take a test, you accidentally write down all the correct answers in your test sheet. When you get into an accident, you are the only one miraculously unscathed. When you're out of money, you just happen to find large amounts of unmarked cash just waiting to be taken. When you play a FPS game, you accidentally jump over mines and 360-noscope enemies by mistake.
Whenever you try to do anything, everything is handed to you on a lucky platter. Mistakes, coincidences, and accidents get you everything you want/need before you can even try to get it yourself, and sometimes, before you even knew you wanted/needed it.

You grow incredibly bored and unsatisfied as you are never able to do something with your own efforts and skill, just pure dumb luck. You grow tired of life, but you manage to evade every sickness ever, and accidentally get singed up as a beta tester for a new drug, which incredibly makes you unable to grow old or sick. You can still die by physical injury of course, but you are lucky enough to avoid all of that too.

You end up spending the rest of eternity pulling off crazy and dangerous stunts with your amazing luck, earning more money than you'd ever need with your crazy stunts, and becoming incredibly popular as a TV star.
Still, the feeling of emptiness persists as it is not your skills allowing you to do those stunts, but rather, your luck.

In the end, you accept reality.
Life sucks, and you can't even die. People will forever put you on a pedestal you could never reach without your luck, and you'll never put a effort in things because they'll be done before you can.

But hey, all of existence bending over to give you what you want forever can't be that bad, right?

.

I wish I knew how a missing arm improves health.

[gipothegip]

Granted, to demonstrate we remove both of your arms. You will no longer be capable of injuring your arms, or having arm or hand related injuries again. Bad elbow? Don't have arms. Torn rotor cuff? Don't have arms. Carpal tunnels syndrome? Don't have hands.

I wish this forum had more & better emoticons.

[catter]

Granted, but now to get them you have to sign up for a pro account. To do this you have to bed over backwards and jump through many hoops in order to even qualify for the first phase. Due to this you injure yourself by bending too far backwards and breaking your back. Even more so, when you tired to jump through the hoop, the hoop fell to the ground before you got all the way through. This extreme bad luck makes you start thinking of why you are so unlucky.

After an hour of crying in the corner and having depression, you look at the daily news. You then see Kegereneku getting a gold medal for accidentally grabbing a boy who jumped from a fast moving bus that was about to go over a giant cliff. This extreme good luck makes you angry and you hunt down Kegereneku.

With all your bad luck, you still had skill. You tried to give Kegereneku a pill you though would kill him, but instead you grab the life extending pill. You sell him a gun and ammo, then watch as every shot was of a fake round, and then you realize that you grabbed the toy ammo you owned. You then sell him a knife, but it was a foam knife. Every thing you gave him that could have killed him was fake or damaged and they never killed him.

You then just talk to Kegereneku and find out that he doesn't like being lucky all the time, out of dumb luck then you become his friend and you keep having bad luck.

[NeverPire]

And you have forgotten to make a wish

I wish to understand how a simple emoticon wish can degenerate to something like that :

With all your bad luck, you still had skill. You tried to give Kegereneku a pill you though would kill him, but instead you grab the life extending pill. You sell him a gun and ammo, then watch as every shot was of a fake round, and then you realize that you grabbed the toy ammo you owned. You then sell him a knife, but it was a foam knife. Every thing you gave him that could have killed him was fake or damaged and they never killed him.

[AllenWL]

See, in order for your wish to happen, you had to use up all your luck. In fact, you used up so much luck that you had to take a luck loan, which brought you into negative luck. And since you had negative luck, nothing you did went right, leaving you further unable to pay your loans, sending you further and further into luck-debt. It arrives to the point where everything you do requires massive luck, since otherwise, your horrible bad luck would have made it impossible, meaning even an act such as breathing puts you further into luck-debt than any human has ever gone before.
However, early on in your luck-loaning, you realize everything will be fine if you constantly take more luck loans to cover for your bad luck, meaning your life is really just a normal life, with you taking luck-loans very very often.
However, you sadly forgot to take a loan while making your wish, so instead of getting your wish granted, you just got a bunch of text that really tells you nothing in particular.

I wish I knew what the heck I was thinking when I wrote that.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are now aware of what you were thinking and go insane, again.


I wish to have good bedroom slipper.

[catter]

Granted, now you have a great bedroom slipper. It is very soft and can easily put your feet to sleep. This causes you to have to get rid of them because you could never feel that they were soft because you foot always went numb when going to sleep.

And you have forgotten to make a wish

Oops! Well here is one: I wish for the next wish I corrupt to have my corruption be very complex yet very interesting.

[AllenWL]

Wish granted, the next wish you corrupt will have your corruption be very complex yet very interesting. In fact, your corruption that is so complex and so interesting is already in your mind, and it's so complex, so interesting, so perfect that you know this is the corruption you want. However, there is one tiny problem. You don't know what wish you are going to corrupt, or if your corruption would work for it.
However, the corruption you have thought of is just so perfect that you cannot bear to make another corruption instead of your prefect corruption.
So you spend decades refining and perfecting your corruption even more, making sure that it can work for any and all wish without sounding odd at all, while also being so complex that it tells of every possible outcome of the corrupted wish from after the wish was made till the end of time, while also being different for every person, while also being so perfect that noone disagrees with it.
After thousands of months of perfection, your efforts bear fruit, and the perfect corruption is born. Able to corrupt any wish perfectly, yet in amazingly complex and interesting ways, your corruption is the most perfect, most complex, and most interesting corruption that had ever existed, and no corruptions will ever live up to its complexness and interestingness.
However, by the time you are done, this thread has ended long long ago, and noone cares about the perfect wish-corruption.
You also spend all this time doing nothing but refining your wish corruption, so you have nothing left other than a massive debt and no life skills. Perhaps you might be able to sell your corruption to a rich guy who likes that kinda stuff, but you can't bring yourself to sell your creation. You... uh... you can probably guess what happens next.
On the bright side, your creation is recognized after your death, and your corruption is made the first exhibit in the museum of amazing and perfect things, so there's that.

I wish for ULTIMATE POWER to be granted to my pet rock that doesn't actually exist.

[gipothegip]

Granted. The pet rock that you've always desired deep inside mysteriously wills itself into existence. It of course, contains ultimate power. It's not made of your ordinary elements either, it is the heaviest to exist and one not known to science, and can perform nuclear fission to the extent it has near limitless energy, energy beyond human comprehension. It can also bend the laws of physics, being omnipotent.

But those are just technical specs. This rock of yours gains the status of a god, and frankly, nobody understands it. They can't really discern whether it's benevolent or malevolent, but they do know it can go anywhere and destroy anything it wants.

As a result, people do all sorts of terrible acts to attempt appeasing this thing, if just to keep it at bay. Many wars are battled over this rock, and people are sacrificed. Cults around this rock arise and extort billions from everyday people and begin influencing all of the world's governments.

The sad thing is, this rock only wanted to make things better when it willed itself into existence. It could've done many things being able to bend physics and having nearly limitless energy. Too bad people were too afraid, and some too malicious, to allow it to do any good.


I wish I didn't have really weird and lucid dreams.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, those aren't dream anymore.


I wish I could enjoy time-consuming entertainment (like watching the 8 seasons of GoT or reading corrupted wish here) in a quarter of the time without losing anything.

[catter]

Granted, but you have to share something in order to do this: your body. Yes, your body is now shared by a really fast reader and a smart person. This person becomes apart of you and he is very particular about how he runs his life.

First he gets up and immediately starts working on some math problems or logic problems that he didn't finish yesterday. Next, he makes your body wear nerdy clothes which make you feel uncomfortable. Then you take over trying to do your job and then having some free-time to do what you want. After that he takes over again and he watches the shows and reads the forums for you and in an annoying way explains to you what happened or what was posted. Then when you turn in for the night, he wants to work on a math problem or logic problem just to keep his mind in shape.

This routine goes on for weeks before you get sick and tired of his presence in your body and later wish him out through insanity and want a re-do on this corruption because you don't like how I made you sacrifice time in order to figure out how much of a bad corruption this is.

I wish to be able to live like that guy I made up.

[Kegereneku]

Seriously, the corruption are getting needlessly complicated and out of topic. Didn't you get the hint? I could have corrupted that wish on a single line with a hand tied in my back.

Not even in the mood to corruptgrant your wish.

[crazyroosterman]

Seriously, the corruption are getting needlessly complicated and out of topic. Didn't you get the hint? I could have corrupted that wish on a single line with a hand tied in my back.

Not even in the mood to corruptgrant your wish.

I don't really see how these granting's can go off topic when corrupting and making wishes is the whole point of this thread also long and delightfully convoluted wishes are more fun to write than short ones (at least for my self) and in the end that is what this threads for.

now to get this back on track.

I wish that kegereneku had made a wish and not upset the cycle.

[Kegereneku]

I wish you corrupt catter's wish, because that's the procedure when someone fail to grant/wish something.

And I insist that the last corruptions were getting bad.
Sign the corruption went bad:
- You created an alternate universe in which you control everything of what happen in the future (instead of granting the wish in a -present- way that can't give positiveexpected result (we don't need to kill the wisher all the time))
- You make a reference to something beyond the post containing the wish (and there's silly wish as well)
- What you grant disregard the actual wish and only serve to push your own idea forward.

[catter]

And I insist that the last corruptions were getting bad.
Sign the corruption went bad:
- You created an alternate universe in which you control everything of what happen in the future (instead of granting the wish in a -present- way that can't give positiveexpected result (we don't need to kill the wisher all the time))

And what is wrong with an alternate universe? If it is part of the corruption, and has a logical connection with parts before it, then it doesn't matter what is in the corruption so long as it corrupts the wish. Besides, what is the fun of real life? Practically anything can happen in an alternate universe which means more ways to corrupt.

- You make a reference to something beyond the post containing the wish (and there's silly wish as well)

A reference, reference to what? My mind is my reference of knowledge and anything that comes out of it most likely is original and somewhat enjoyable (at least to some people). Anyways, that accusation of going to an "outside the wish" reference can be done to any corruption with any corruption done in this thread.

- What you grant disregard the actual wish and only serve to push your own idea forward.

Disregard the wish? How is going on a small tangent disregarding the wish? Even if it was, how would it disregard the whole wish when it is based entirely on the wish? It would at least be related to the wish.

All those complaints I just argued against tells me you don't like how anyone corrupts their wishes when it on a tangent. If that means you don't like reading long corruptions then just look at the beginning and skip to the wish the poster makes. If you just don't like people making complex corruptions because you think it could be done easily with a few sentences then just deal because we are free people on this forum and if you dare complain you may get trolled. 1st rule of the internet says to not to feed the trolls, follow that rule next time you think of complaining.

I wish you corrupt catter's wish, because that's the procedure when someone fail to grant/wish something.

Granted, crazyroosterman grants my wish. The problem is that his corruption is lost to the Internet's vastness and never was found.

I wish that I had a good wish.