Corrupt-A-Wish

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, People are now forced to learn anything from whatever happened in their life that they could not guaranty was the best way. As a result they are now forced to "learn" whatever first explanation is easier to believe in regardless of how much data it would take to make a more informed decision.
As a result Humanity is now heading toward a new Dark age, as "god did it" is a pretty powerful thought terminating cliché, humanity is also becoming hateful as "It's someone's else fault if I'm unhappy" usually come first.
Soon only two kind of people will exist : intelligent-slave who doubted themselves and are being forced to believe in whatever is easier to believe, and retarded-slaver raised or born incapable of imagining that they could be wrong about anything.


I wish all traffic-light would turn in the "you can pass" color any time I come, as a pedestrian or in a car. that one is easy, you can't miss it

[Kadian]

That IS easy. Wish Granted.
Now everytime you come even close to traffic lights they turn green for the mode of transportation you're using at the time. It does not turn the light for the >other< people to red(or 'do not pass') though, leading to car accidents, crashes and people getting run over by vehicles.
Of course, sooner or later, the people realize that you seem to be the sole cause for those catastrophic events, so you will be arrested and convicted.
Congratulations, you will now live a lifetime in a remote prison with no traffic lights close to you - in addition, there will be researcher coming over every once in a while, just to figure out how the hell you did what you did - I'm not an expert, but the resulting experiments might hurt. Who knows!

I wish...Humanity would be able to finally find a way to colonize far away earth-like planets without the need of hundreds - or thousands - of years travelling to those planets.
(Now, this could be interesting, I wonder what you make with this.)

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, humanity go nearly extinct, alien -alien who look at us like a scientist look at a petri dish of the most dangerous pathogen virus that exist- decide to continue the experiment on another planet, they thus gather all consenting of what left of humanity, carry them Faster than light to a new planet, terraform it in an instant to look exactly like Earth because they are much much more intelligent than, say, a virus. They even planted some fake fossil of dinosaurs to not have to dirty themselves playing gods (again).
As any virus do humanity collectively colonized it's new "Earth-like" petri dish. Unaware that this was the 5th time they did, they call it "Earth", alien chuckle but are pretty disappointed they couldn't manage to keep a trace of what happened their help.

I wish to walk on Mars (the planet) in my lifetime.

[catter]

Granted, after some time you are 150 years old and allowed to walk on Mars. As you finally get to make your dreams come true you walk on a very sharp rock and puncture your suit. Through the pain of a near vacuum atmosphere making you spray out your suit through your foot because of Fold Spindle Mutilation, you feel your burdens relieved from your body and you see your body in large amounts of pain and wish you never walked on Mars. Stupid rocks, always messing with your dream bubbles.

I wish for a better life than as a genie of corruptions.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are now a genie of half-backed wish. It's better because at least you can be lazy on the job and nobody expect otherwise.

I wish people knew that "explosive decompression" is not actually a things, and that as a result author made much better fiction knowing that.

[catter]

(If you are referring to my last corruption, I never specified the time it took for you to die. All I said was that it was very painful and that you exploded. I never said how you exploded and that will be fixed, but it will still be painful.)
Granted, people now know what "explosive decompression" really means. Including you! The author fixes his mistake as every person, including you, dies in space without spacesuits.

Oh, well. Back to corrupting...

I wish to knew why I even felt the Force, even though I"m just a cat.

[Seriously Unserious]

Granted. You become the first feline Sith Lord in the service of Emperor Palpatine, but the next day, The Skywalkers show up and you witness the death of your new master at the hands of his former apprentice, Darth Vader. Soon after, you're tossed into the deepest depths of the Death Star.

I wish I had a million dollars.

[catter]

Granted, you are given one million dollars in a suitcase...

Police: OK boys, get him. Remember, that cash he is carrying is stolen so don't use it yourself.

[{insert_name_here}]

We need wishes to corrupt!

I'll volunteer: I wish I legitimately won a million dollars from the lottery.

[NeverPire]

Wish Granted BUT a flash monetary inflation due to a massive lack of finance from the USA government makes your million of the same value than a wheelbarrow.
Now, all you can do is curse Trump & Co for their too short vision which has led you to ruin.

I wish to better understand the GitHub operation.

[LouisTBR]

Granted! You are now fully able to understand every minute aspect of GitHub. Unfortunately, you realise that the operation is terrible, and upon trying to leave, the memory is etched into your brain for life.

I wish that I never ended up reading about Hitler's kink.

[catter]

Granted, it is wiped out of existence and you also wipe out the internet in order to delete any possible trace of it. Guess no one will know how to create that cure to cancer in the next century.

I wish I didn't make the mistake of not wishing last time I posted here.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you didn't make the mistake of not wishing. Instead of a deliberate but wrong choice you made, you just forgot about it.


I wish I had a spaceship.

[SpaceDorf]

Wish granted, NASA selected you as first Civilian Member of the Challenger Program.

I wish I would win the lottery.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you won the lottery.
However because of a critical bug in the printing machine that was not detected until today, so did every single other participants, so you won 50 cents.

I wish I could walk on water as I wish.