Corrupt-A-Wish

Started by NewJack, February 28, 2016, 11:33:36 PM

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catter

Granted, but he also slings poop bombs at you is you dare even look at it or acknowledge its existence. Even then it might throw one or two at you just in case.

I wish to have the materials to rebuild a more legal hotel that works for both purgatory, heaven and hell.

ManHuntingSquirrel

#841
Granted. Ocassionally, your teleporting apartment (Yes, it teleports through all the realms you mentioned) ends up inside someone else's private property or with people inside of it, and sometimes they appear engraved into the wall. For this, you are forced to go back to the realm of mortals for kidnapping, involuntary manslaughter, involuntary angelslaughter, involuntary demonslaughter, and trespasssing.

I wish for the monkey to massage me. Killing humans makes your shoulders hurt like nothing else.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, the monkey massages you... but it so unskilled and so strong that they instead break your fragile back...

I wish for the teleporting to stop and just leave the hotel in one, legal spot: hell.

ManHuntingSquirrel

#843
Granted. Though the heater/radiator is on heaven mode, which means it thinks you're at 40 degrees below zero. Remember, heaven is higher up than Mount Everest!

I wish for...You know? I've seen people with worst massaging skills, i have no problem with the monkey. Give me an ice cream.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, right when you are about to take a bite/lick you scream out in agony as if you had just been run through a roller or a rock-crushing machine. Also your ice cream just fell on the ground and is being eaten by a bunch of bugs.

I wish for the heater to vent out into the hellfire that surrounds my pristine and fire-proof hotel.

ManHuntingSquirrel

#845
Granted. The heater heats the heated hell of hatred, but it also cools your cool apartment of coolery to an extent where you freeze to death.

I wish for ANOTHER ice cream.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, this time it is your most hated flavor.

I wish to ask ManHuntingSquirrel something:
How can you die, if you're already dead?

ManHuntingSquirrel

#847
Granted. The answer to this question seems simple, but as it turns out, the pure uncut horror of the description of the place you go after you die in hell could be considered Lovecraftian, an horror or a presence that makes people mad just at the sight of it, or in this case, a vivid description. Don't ask again, it's for your own good this time.

I wish for TONS and TONS of my most hated flavour, since that flavor is one of the 2 my grandma can eat. Oh i also wish for a mailman to take it to her, i sure hope he doesn't get shot in the head by a man with a chess table as a suit.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, the tons and tons of ice cream all land on you in a giant heap. As for the mailman, he never gets shot in that exact manner... In fact, he gets attacked by a rabid German Shepard and dies of complications to infection.

I wish for ManHunterSquirrel to join me in this Lovecraftian horrorterror dimension. As you can see, it isn't so bad once you add the green sun and a horrorterror killing machine known as Lord English

ManHuntingSquirrel

#849
Granted, you turn into stone and my description juice ran out, so imagine the consequences for that.

I wish for a game of chess with you.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but I'm taking black.

I wish to win this chess match.

ManHuntingSquirrel

#851
Granted, you win. It was a quite enjoyable match. When you finish tidying up the pieces, you get your sight obstructed by some letters, apparently engraved on your eye.

Do you wish to play again?

I wish for you to say yes
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, I say yes, but instead of playing again I just sit there. After about an hour, you leave and you get your sight obstructed by some letters, apparently engraved on your eye.

Do you wish to play again?

I wish for the madness to end with this.

ManHuntingSquirrel

#853
Granted. However, your sight is still obstructed, but not with the unholy words of replayability, but with ones that can and will cause you an existential crisis.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Do you wish to wake up?
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
You look all around, you try to count your fingers, and try to read something and read it again. Everything points toward you being awake. You choose "Yes" as an answer, and quickly you can't smell, touch, taste, only barely hear and differenciate shadow from light.
You, worried, quickly spout a corruption and wish of your own. You feel like if you were being torn apart, but also duplicated. Strangely, you find pleasure in this. WAKE UP
Scared, you scream "8520", but your horrified scream doesn't sound like if it was said by just Catter, but by 2 catters. Once again you are torn apart and duplicated, still finding pleasure.
Horrified, praying to god that this is a dream, you scream "He's an outlaw loose and runnin', came a whisper from each 449 lips". This time it is said by 4 Catters, and once again you get torn apart.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Several days pass, you try to scream, but you can't. Everytime you try to you get flooded with memories of the sayings of a cupcake, an emperor or even god who rules over sand dunes, and what seems to be a man dressed in a suit wearing a black moustache. You can't fully remember who they were, they're only faint memories.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
1 week later, you hear a response. This creature, your only hope, says "8520". You realise, that creature is me. We're condemned to count, wish, and corrupt, with our only reward being mitosis. You realise, that those faint memories were of the ones that started these threads, now more threads of DNA than forum ones. You realise, that there is no way out, the only thing that will keep you alive is the orgasmic feel of being duplicated, of reproducing. I'm sorry Catter, but we have to create a future for the next counters, before we finish our function as simple cells and die.
I'm so sorry, Catter,
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
But we have to keep wishing...
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
I wish for any ways of getting out, if there are, to be eliminated. We can't let our species go extinct
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but when you refer to "our" you are talking about you and the monkey that keeps trying to assassinate you. There is no escape for you and the monkey to stop being in conflict with each other. However, you do find it odd that there are a bunch of black cat hairs everywhere.

I wish to become the universe in its entirety by multiplying so much.