the Hero/villan named "Shitty shitbag".

Started by Ace_livion, April 23, 2016, 01:06:11 PM

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Ace_livion

so i had this colonist named Vincent 'Tyspine' Strife...
or as i called her (yes its a woman) Shitty shitbag.... everyday i will tell my people to do stuff... all but Shitty shitbag...
shitty shitbag had her limits.... from the start she was 54 years old... and incapable of
-intellectual
-dumb labor
-skilled labor
-violent
-caring
-social
-crafting

to add it up she also happened to be "beautiful" while missing her
-left eye
-right arm
-and left ear
-and have a nice torso stab scare...
a real beauty she is.....

ohh and not to forget.... slothful....

so a year passed and Shitty shitbag.. used her time eating the little food the other colonists had wile walking around being idle... but she had 2 other things she was able to do.... art and animal handling.... and she was really bad at art...

so i said sure go ahead... play whit some animals... what the worst that can happen ? she gets eaten?
and then i forgot all about Shitty shitbag...
only from time to time i drag my mouse all over the map at tell her to go handle those animals.
and train the ones she had tamed (did not even look at what she had handled... since the where all bonded to Shitty shitbag anyway)

but then one faithful that the raiders came... ( a lot of them )
all the colonists and turrets fought bravely but shitty shitbag.... she was incapable of violent...
so i asked her to stay in the corner and look shameful....

the battle was hard and as time passed, and the turrets and colonists went down 1 by 1....
until all that was left was shitty shitbag...

and i was wondering... if this was it... i clicked on shitty shitbag.. thinking... atleast i get to see the pile of shit get beaten up...
but wait? what is this? a "release animals" button (was still new) well its over might as well click on it...

and then hell when out...  raiders whit clubs and spears slowly approaching Shitty shitbags room. but out of nowhere 20 fucking turtles trained to murder surrounded the poor raiders....

and shitty shitbag standing whit her personal shield, incapable of violent... just staring at the raiders being torn apart 1 little snap at a time...
it was at that moment i knew... that for each day i called her shitty shitbag.. for each time i complained about how useless she was... she has silently been sitting and training turtles to carry out her master plan....
it was at that point where the other colonists laid bleeding at ground, the raiders eaten by turtles...i knew... she had out played me...  she had her revenge..

Thane

That was unexpected. In RimWorld game plays you!
It is regular practice to install peg legs and dentures on anyone you don't like around here. Think about that.

Vaporisor

I had the similar thing with the new release!  Only more violent!  That secret animal trainer is... wowza.  I was in an area with a person who was doc, social and animal handling.  I just kept giving them the obedience/release command of a few animals I managed to save after they got disabled from injury, not thinking about it.  The trainer was a doc so gave something to do with the lack of combat skills.

I accidentally made one tribal group hate me and they attacked... En masse.  I thought I was screwed so I tried actually releasing the animals.  Never used it before, just kept em back with her to prevent them from getting derpy killed  Would sell surplus, it was only for money.

Well, those raiders never stood a chance as a wave of bears and cougars  came storming onto the field :D
Stories by Vaporisor

Escaped convicts!
concluded
Altair XIII
Frozen Wastes

Ace_livion

a lot of attack animals are really deadly... i noticed that there is kinda a stun mechanic in the game, where people whit range weapons get skewed... i even managed to get a cheap kill on the macanoids from the crash, they simply cand handle being outnumbered in melee :)

my only real problem about predator animals are there cups kinda tend to try and eat Boomrats...

The-MathMog

Haha brilliant! Well written man! That gave me quite a chuckle!

cultist

Never underestimate the seemingly useless colonists. So many times I have unknowingly been saved by the addition of that one guy who's bad at everything except hauling or the guy who can only fight (he can spend all his time hunting). Too often you are tempted to push your few colonists to handle multiple jobs, which means everything gets done slowly and they get grumpy because you don't give them enough free time.

mumblemumble

Yes,  jack of all trades are slightly overrated in this,  I've learned that 1 or 2 incapables are often worth a few 10+ skills
Why to people worry about following their heart? Its lodged in your chest, you won't accidentally leave it behind.

-----

Its bad because reasons, and if you don't know the reasons, you are horrible. You cannot ask what the reasons are or else you doubt it. But the reasons are irrefutable. Logic.

Samsonzi

Brilliant!

"Teenage Muntant Rimworld Tortoises!"