Total Eclipse: A RimWorld Story

[linkfanpc]

Chapter: 1   "Five more minutes!"

David found himself stuck in a cryptosleep pod and awoken to the sound of huge,
ear-shredding ripping sounds. Panicking, he fumbles with the release switch, but something is jamming the hatch. He looks over his left shoulder, and there's a small screen with his girlfriend, Chloe's name, and his good friend, Austin's name on it.

He touches his lover's name and it zips to a video surveillance of her. "Chloe? Chloe!" She looks over and yells, "David?! HELP! HELP ME! I CAN'T GET OU-" "Don't worry...uh...do you have a release switch at the top?" David looks back at his at bashes it. The hatch tries to open but gets stuck on something, as if something fell on top. "Um...yes...but i hit it and nothing happened...OH NO! I'M GONNA DIE HERE!" Chloe bursts out screaming for help, and tears run down her eyes.

"Chloe, don't worry, i-i'm gonna get us out of this. I'll be right back." He tries calling Austin and the same screen pops up. Austin is still sleeping, snoring as always. "Austin! Austin wake up!" David smacks the release switch again, hoping it would throw off whatever's on top. "Ugh, five more minutes..." Austin open's his eyes and looks around, panicked. "Wait, WHERE THE HECK AM I?!" Austin kicks the hatch with his feet, trying to get out.

"Dude, listen, there should be a big red "Release" button at the top of your hatch." Austin looks and find it, punching it immediately. With a scrape of rust on the hinges, the hatch opens and Austin climbs out.

"Wait! Dude! See if you can find Chloe's hatch and pry it open with something!" Austin looks around, seeing a large, slim piece of metal on the floor, along with tons of crap from things flying around hitting consoles. He grabs it and see's a pod with a sticker stuck on it reading, "Chloe Ravner". He thrusts the piece of metal into the hinge and pry's. He yells for Chloe to try the switch again.

The hatch blasts open, and some metal that had gotten stuck in the gears fly's into Austin's arm. "Gagghh! Dang it! Stupid, piece of crap!" He kicks the pod, hurting his bare foot in the process.

"W-where's Dave?!" Chloe looks around panicking until she find a pod with a sticker reading, "David Fording". The pod has a huge piece of metal on it. Austin and Chloe grab it and yell for David to click the button. The hatch opens pushing the metal off and David climbs out. "Holy crap, it is SO claustrophobic in there." David says breathing heavily. "Tell about it, it's like they-" Austin was cut off by an explosion.

The gang starts running the opposite way, reading signs until they eventually find the escape pods. They all climb into one, and before they all launch, David looks down the hallway to see another man running towards him yelling for help. David stepped out ready to run and help, but alas, the roof caved in onto the man.

Austin grabbed David and pulled him into the one remaining, small pod right before it is launched. As they float around in space, toward a unknown Rimworld, all they can think about is what they are going to do next.

Suddenly they look out and see the gigantic ship they were on explode. Some shrapnel flew quite close but they thankfully made it out safe. It was going to be a good hour or two before they reach the planet, and they all lay down and fall asleep.

To be continued.

[Vaporisor]

Hi, enjoyable read, but if you could do paragraph breaks.  It is a tough read.   the masse of words like that could be literally unreadable.

[linkfanpc]

Hi, enjoyable read, but if you could do paragraph breaks.  It is a tough read.   the masse of words like that could be literally unreadable.

Done. Thanks for that! Glad you enjoyed.

[Vaporisor]

Honestly?  I re-read it and it is even better now!  I missed stuff.  Small bits like the rusty hinges.  As a reader I think that is interesting and now am remembering that in rimworld travel is measured in years minimum between rimworld systems.  A nice detail that I missed the first time!

Looking forward to the continuation ^.^

[linkfanpc]

Yay! Thanks much! Didn't imagine anyone actually liking it. Oh and the continuation, i'll get on that later today. Oh, and added a actual chapter title to the first one.

[Vaporisor]

Yay! Thanks much! Didn't imagine anyone actually liking it. Oh and the continuation, i'll get on that later today. Oh, and added a actual chapter title to the first one.

I am an immersive reader so being able to see and understand what is going on is what makes something enjoyable.  And more important is if you enjoy it.  You were able to introduce three characters into a story and flesh out backround game lore.  That allows me to enjoy, to be able to really visualise and believe in what the people are doing ^.^

[linkfanpc]

Well thanks, support like that really helps me. Anyway,

Chapter Two: New Beginnings

A big buzzer sound started playing, and the gang awoke to 3 robotic hands shoveling supplies in a drop capsule. The three were told by the pod's AI to each get in they're own drop pod. When they did it took about a minute or two before they all landed.

The three pods disintegrated into tons of scrap metal. A fourth pod landed not long after full of supplies. A few tools with an axe on one end and a pick on the other, hand-crank radios, emergency food and medicine, multi-tools, sleeping bags, a rifle, pistol and knife, and some silver.

David constantly went hunting with his father and had become exceptional with a .22 so he got the rifle. Austin and Chloe enjoyed taking self-defense classes, and Austin excelled in handguns, so he got the pistol. Chloe was great in hand-to-hand and melee, so she got the knife. 

They all agreed on a place to stockpile they're supplies and another area to dump all the big chunks of stone or steel slag. They all started putting all the meds, food and metal into the area.

Chloe bent down to get rid of some small sticks and rocks to set down a Irradiated Hot Dog MRE Meal. When she got up, she was staring down the nuzzle of a gigantic grizzly bear. David whispered to her, "Quick d-don't make any eye contact, just walk away slowly." Chloe looked at the ground, and backed away.

But it wasn't enough, the grizzly bear got up on it's hind legs and let out a roar. The sound nearly made Chloe deaf. It was the largest, loudest sound she ever heard. The grizzly looked down at her and put his foot-long paw in the air to swipe down on her.

He got half-way there when in a splatter of blood and brains half it's head was gone in an instant. It fell back onto the ground, and blood flushed out of the empty spot on it's scalp.

Chloe looked back and David had his rifle up and eyes through the sights. The barrel of the gun was smoking, and David cocked it and a empty casing fell out.

Chloe was silent, she just ran into David's arms and started crying. She looked over at Austin and he was looking horrified at something. "Uh...g-guys? I-i think t-the bear was the least of our p-problems..." David and Chloe looked back and saw two people yelling and running at them with spears and clubs.

To be continued. (Got cut short...oops!  )

[linkfanpc]

Chapter 3: The Tribespeople

Two people with spears and clubs were running at the gang. David put the sights of his rifle up to his eye and aimed. The one with the club came close, and David pulled the trigger. He heard a click, that was it, then he noticed he didn't reload. He flinched and closed his eyes, nothing. He opened and the two people were stabbing and clubbing a deer.

They all let out a sigh. "What the heck are you two doing?!" David screamed at them. The two looked over at him while butchering the deer. They gave him a look, then the one with the spear came up one foot away from him and put his hand up to his face. "Uh...wh-what are you doing?" The man with the spear opened his eyes wide. "Wait...are you a Spacer?"

"Am i a what now?" David gave him a confused look. "Spacer! Man from the sky! Fell from big metal box?" The man with a spear started speaking a strange language to his friend, then they both started hopping up and down in joy. "Oh, joy! JOY! We have always wanted to meet a Spacer! Ooh! What do you like to eat?" The man started asking a bunch of strange questions.

"Wait, wait, are we like...special or something?" Chloe asked. "Oh, yes! You are rare! Come, come! Our leader welcomes all from the sky!" David and Chloe looked at each other. "...Hmm...allow me to introduce myself, i am Fredrik, and this is my friend Kaios. We are tribespeople from Kukuwanka. We came here after seeing four strange things fall out of the sky. We were out on a trek and thought maybe we would find some legendary Spacers, and here we are talking to one!"

The gang were hesitant, but maybe the tribe could offer food, and they were all starving. It took a couple hours of walking, but they finally reached they're destination. A large camp full of teepees, farms, and more. In the middle was a bonfire and four giant feasting tables full of meat, bread, fruits, veggies, berries, biscuits, cookies, basically every  food you could imagine. On a large wooden throne lined with gold and painted feathers was a man with a  large colored headdress.

"Fredrik! Kaios! Yorg frort biglorts!" He eyed up the gang and suddenly had a joyous look on his face. "Morg? Thorge lond plonka?" "Uh, sir, they speak English...and yes!" Fredrik came up and whispered something into the headdress man's ear. "Ah! Spacers! I never thought i'd see any in my short lifetime! I am Kuku, the leader of this fine tribe! I'm sure your hungry, correct?" David answered yes, and started talking with the leader explaining what happened. "Hmm...i see...well...come! I will get you the finest seats at the tables!

The three sat down. Kuku began telling everyone about the visitors. As soon as he finished, everyone dug in. The gang all agreed it was the best meal they'd ever eaten. The bread tasted like golden honey, the potatoes were soft and delicous, the fruit salad exquisite, everything was so good! "I can't believe how good these are!" Austin said to David and Chloe while stuffing his mouth with biscuits.

Suddenly Kuku had a angry look on his face. "Tolka! Apprenda hese longe's!" Three tribesmen grabbed David, Chloe and Austin, took they're weapons and hauled them to a strange circle with three poles. They began putting dried grasses and moss in a circle around the three poles and lit it on fire.
The tribes people began dancing and chanting, "KILE FLEM! KILE FLEM!"

Kuku, the gang, and three tribes people were inside the circle. "Wh-what did we do? Did we anger them?" Chloe whispered to Austin. "Silence!" the tribe stopped dancing and chanting and were quiet. "You...Spacers...you took something from me...now i'm taking everything from you!" The gang looked at each other in surprise. "No! Wait! We didn't do anything, really!"

"Really? REALLY?! YOU TOOK MY SON FROM ME!!! YOU TOOK MY ONLY JOY FROM M-" Kuku started coughing furiously. "You will all die for your crimes...ALL OF YOU!" Someone extinguished a small part of the fire for Kuku to exit and then re-lit it.

"...Kill them all..."

To be continued...

[Vaporisor]

Ooh my.... They just got there and now accused of a crime?  Suspense!

A prison made of fire!  That is clever and neat imagry

[linkfanpc]

Ooh my.... They just got there and now accused of a crime?  Suspense!

A prison made of fire!  That is clever and neat imagry

Thank you!

Suspense is exactly what i was going for! I hope to have the next chapter up within the next few days, unlike last time where i got caught-up.