I need help getting out of a trip

[JasTheBoyWonder]

I am a person that doesn't really say NO that much and even if i want to get out of something like a trip with a friend, i feel as though ill hurt their feelings. I have 4 days till i have to meet a friend at 4 in the morning and set off to L.A. . I Hate trips especially if they last multiple days like this one is planned to last. So if anyone has any ideas of how I can get out of this without hurting their feelings then please reply.

[milon]

Everything I'm about to say is completely my opinion.  Don't feel pressured to take my advice (it's only worth what you paid for it).

Sometimes you can dodge something like this without hurting feelings in the short term.  But things often have a way of circling around and biting you in the butt later, as most any sitcom will show you.  And you probably don't want to take that road.  (For example, you come up with an excuse to skip out on it.  Your friend takes the trip alone, or with someone else.  Then your friend finds out that you just made an excuse.  Now they're hurt and mad, and they'll either confront you about it or act in ways that put you in a really difficult situation.)

Consider asking yourself if it's time to begin exercising the No muscle.  Life really sucks if you can't ever say No.  Sometimes hurt feelings are unavoidable, like how you'll be hurt if you can't get out of this.  Your feelings matter too, and if your friend is a real friend they'll understand that - even if they don't understand or agree with you not wanting to go.

It's a lesson I've learned the hard way over many years.  I still don't like to say what I want or don't want if I know it conflicts with others.  But sometimes it's necessary.  It doesn't always have to be a fight, either.  You just have to know what you (don't) want, and why, and stick to it.

I wish you the best of luck whatever you do. 

[mumblemumble]

May I ask WHY you do not like trips? Granted I know nothing about you, but unless theres a legitimate reason, you might want to ask what causes you to feel that way.

I myself suffer from antisocial behavior, and I've felt the same way because I like my time alone, however such a trip is actually very good for me.

That said, if theres a REAL reason for it, just say it. Something along the lines of "I appreciate the invitation, However, I do not want to go BECAUSE xyz"

Key points are showing appreciation, and stating why. Also, letting them know sooner is much better, last minute things piss people off.

[billycop32]

it sucks not knowing how to say no to everyone, it took a asthma attack with training with marines to get in my head that it is ok to say no to people. while this comment isn't particulary helpful, maybe this trip if you don't get out of it will be your hard earned lesson on no. stay strong bud!

[Listen1]

Jas dosen't seem to respond but...

Just tell the true, tell how you feel and that you won't be going because of that. It's the best way for you to do it.

Any other excuse will be a flat lie that will haunt you for the rest of your life, and if you keep lying these lies will become a burden not easily lifted.

[milon]

@JasTheBoyWonder, this is a safe place to practice saying No.  If you hate the advice we're giving you, tell us.  Practice saying something hard in an easier setting (here) before you have to do it in a harder setting. 

[dragoduval]

Bit old, so doubt that you need it still, but for future case here's a good one : Kiss him / her. Did that once, no ever asked me to go on a trip again. Sad but true.

Might not be the best long term solution, but short term it work great.