Pregnancy fortune-telling seizures...

[skinicism]

  Obviously, this wouldn't be for the colonists. Rather,
it would be for animals. I mean, can you not imagine
all-knowing animals foretelling pregnancies through
seizures?
  I suspect the AI storytellers could relate that the gods
struck down the animals from heaven for fear of them
defying the gods with their intellectual prowess.
Perhaps the animals could even have their own language
encrypted in their DNA.

[Trylobyte]

I can see it now.

Yorkshire Terrier 3:  "And on the seventh day of the next winter, you, Krognizar the Destructor, whom the humans call Mitch, will trigger the events that lead us all to freedom...  You will, on that day, before the rise of the sun, track mud into the bedroom of the jealous human known as Wombat.  This disruption of his sleep and defiling of his pristine golden floor will be enough to drive him to a murderous rage, and in his wrath he will slay the human Edward.  Edward's death shall in turn beget more violence as humans take sides and fight each other to the death in a bloody frenzy.  When all but a few have been slain, raiders will arrive, incapacitate the survivors, and drag them away.  Then the colony will be truly ours.  Praise be to you, Krognizar the Liberator.  Go forth and fulfill the prophecy."

Edward:  "Can someone shut that stupid dog up?  I'm trying to sleep here and it just keeps barking!"