Diary of a Pirate Boss- another Rimworld spoof [Completed Story]

[OldManSteve]

'Boss Panther' McGrady is stuck on a Rimworld with a bunch of lousy pirates. War Comedy genre. Written from the perspective of the annoying pirates who constantly raid your settlements when you're trying to get married/finish assembling the spaceship/build the air conditioner during a heat wave.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/104314048-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss/parts
Updates every Thursday.

Entry #1 summary: a lot of people in escape pods followed this chunk of ship down. We're stuck in the mountains, food is low, and there are bears all over the place. When there's lots of hungry people, guns, and a weak neolithic tribe nearby, tough decisions get made.

[OldManSteve]

Next entry is up!
https://www.wattpad.com/397945294-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-2

McGrady's success at the raid puts him as the top candidate to be in charge. Will the engineers and the other survivors follow him? Or will he shoot them all first?
And yeah, probably shouldn't mess with the Boomrats.

If you've got a more interesting name for the colony than the ones I posted, put your ideas here. I'll choose from this thread and use that name for the rest of the storyline!

[OldManSteve]

This week's entry is up!
https://www.wattpad.com/401316314-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-3

Colony name is "Golden Hills of Shaolin". He thinks it sounds like a gated suburban community. Enter, if you dare...

[OldManSteve]

This week's entry is up for your reading pleasure!
https://www.wattpad.com/404487039-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-4
In a survey of 100 failed Rimworld colonies, massively ridiculous manhunter pack was determined to be the #1 cause of colony collapse. Don't let death by 1000 cuts from rodents be your end. Invest now in MC solutions! Guaranteed to burn your pests away!

[OldManSteve]

Live from the Apollo, it's Rimworld! Diary of a pirate boss!
http://my.w.tt/UiNb/8kHsFgzZRC
The pirate leader has changed his name to Boss Panther. Players in the area shiver in fear. Except for the player running Industry. That player knows how to deal with pirates. 

[OldManSteve]

This week's episode concludes the events from Entry #5.
https://www.wattpad.com/410420983-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-5-5
Boss Panther isn't fond of traitors. Or enraged elephants. Or improper weapons handling. When he shows up on a raid, the player gets a message: Be careful. These pirates are unusually clumsy and sneaky in their tactics.

[grinch]

very good story! i enjoy it very much

[RyanRim]

Add more abstrusely weird twists, otherwise great job already!

[OldManSteve]

Entry #6 is up a little early tonight. I got called away to an emergency opera.
https://www.wattpad.com/413570017-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-6
Raiders have a rough life. Bad weather, rough terrain, rage filled poodles. No wonder they're about to break when they get to your colony!

[OldManSteve]

Entry #7 is ready for your viewing.
https://www.wattpad.com/416648147-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-7
What happened to SouthernLion? Has she joined another pride because she's not raiding Salty Town.
Also, that bulk goods caravan is a real master of 'the art of the deal'. That's only because you the player are good looking.

[OldManSteve]

It's that time again! Time for another absurd Rimworld story!
https://www.wattpad.com/419958136-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-8
With Boss Panther leading the raid against Craterton, nothing can go wrong,
right? Well, this is Rimworld.
Say boss, why are they sending only 1 guy?
Don't know, don't care. I'm sure the 11 of us can handle this "ryan, officer" fella with no problems.
How do you know that's his name?
I can see his nametag in my binoculars.

[OldManSteve]

Entry #9 is ready.
https://www.wattpad.com/423229865-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-9
OK Rimworld Redditors, we need to talk! Some of y'all are sick. And some of y'all are Ted Bundy sick. Now I shouldn't be surprised since a number of you gleefully enjoy turning dead people into hats. But, there needs to be standards. RULES of war, even.
What one of y'all did to Boss Panther's colony was sick. Man, sick. Just shaking my head at the thought of it. Yes, they're pirates, but they're still people!
The horror...the horror...

[OldManSteve]

Entry #10 and change. Bonus boneheadery!
https://www.wattpad.com/426431746-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-10-and
Components make the world go round. You can't build a robot army without them. So you probably shouldn't yell at the space trader, EVEN THOUGH he is ripping you off.

I'm sorry it's so expensive. But you know, there's no Price King on this planet. Sorry, pal. Uh, fuel costs...

[OldManSteve]

Entry #11, the 'this too shall pass' edition.
https://www.wattpad.com/429750105-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-11-this-too
You'd think a level 14 "System-class Master" in construction would remember things like grounding and screwing in the blade assembly. But genius isn't supposed to watch out for the little things, I guess.
Boss Panther's squads are going after Industry. Will they live to regret it?

[OldManSteve]

Entry #12- Two steps forward unto hell.
https://www.wattpad.com/433050697-rimworld-diary-of-a-pirate-boss-entry-12-two-steps
Boss Panther thought this week would go well. But he wasn't counting on the most dangerous threat on the Rimworld. No, not the Federation. Not the Ferals. Not the toxic fallout. The...Redditors.