Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?

Started by Sepkan, August 06, 2014, 04:19:33 PM

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Vonholtz

Ok I am not sure how this rate as funny but here goes. I have been using a lot of mod's of late and one is the Imperial Guard mod. It has added factions one of them is Orks. They some time come at you in large numbers(as anyone who played WH40K knows is right).

Well I got the attack message Ork are attacking. Another mod let me know the number of attackers. 97 orks and 7 grots were coming for my colony and I only have 11 pawns and turrets to try and stop them. I had 2 mortars so I had two pf my pawns stop off on the way to the front line and fire one round each.

As I was setting my pawns in place I got a message the ork are fleeing. So I stop and went to them and 36 were on the ground hurt and 23 were dead out right. The 38 still standing were running for it. And I looked all of them were hurt bad. 3 of the grots were still up and just stopped. they had not clue what to do. So I had to go out and kill them.

What happened was as they ran across the large map there was a gap on the mountain that brought all of them together at one square of the map and the one and a million mortar round hit that square. So I thought my colony was going to get messed up bad. But as it turns out worst my pawns had was some lost sleep.

Now I am not sure if it funny to you but I fell out of my chair laughing my ass off when it happened and I got to keep going.  ;)

Gibson8088

New Alpha 9 game, no mods.  Squirrel goes crazy and charges at a herd of elk hanging around my colony.  They incap the crazy squirrel so I decide to have my colonists kill it because it could recover.  So, I pointed my sharpshooters(skill of 1 and 0 in shooting) at the squirrel...

...and so far I have 5 dead elk, 1 incapped and the squirrel is still alive.  Had to undraft my colonists so they could sleep...

MyNameIsMike

I ran into a really big cryptosleep temple, like 8 or 9 pods. So, as is my precaution, i set up a room around one of them, then surround the rest with turrets. I put two colonists in the room and order them to open the pod. EVERY POD HAS A PIRATE IN FULL POWER ARMOR. My turrets open fire, killing a couple pirates, but the pirates fire in return, causing one of my turrets to explode and creating one of the biggest explosions I've ever seen in the game. Most of the surrounding turrets are destroyed or destabilized, causing yet more explosions which tear apart the temple and damage the pods. The pods begin to explode too, killing most of the other pirates. Keep in mind, by the way, that the remaining turrets and pirates are still fighting it out. By the time this is all finished, all the turrets are gone 3 of my colonists are dead, all of the pirates are dead, the temple is obliterated and the fires have almost spread back to my colony.Oh, and then my cook gets malaria.


Panzer


Cimanyd

Quote from: Tynan on December 15, 2014, 10:24:47 PM
Quote from: Cimanyd on December 15, 2014, 07:10:26 PM
Now, from a different pirate group, a pirate ended up running toward me and attacking by himself (the others were preparing to attack). Carrying a Limestone shiv (awful). He hit once, got hit once, and fled in panic. Probably smart.

Because a limestone shiv (awful) does 2 damage a hit.

Lol. He just brought it for show. If the code worked right, he'd walk up to you with the shiv and then just punch you because his fist is better (though I think the selection has a bug where it ignores weapon modifers from quality etc atm).

The first attacker of my new A9 colony is a pirate with a Marble shiv (shoddy 32%) that does 2 damage and has a market value of 1.57. He's more of a minor nuisance than a threat. Much less dangerous than a squirrel. He cuts a colonist wearing the starting synthread stuff with 1 damage, which goes away on its own in less than a minute, and he would take more than a minute to break through a wooden door even if my colonists weren't repairing it. I could probably ignore him until he starved to death.

Marble shiv (shoddy 32%):
Market value $1.57, Melee damage 2, Melee cooldown 2.24s
Wood:
Market value $1.40, Melee damage 8, Melee cooldown 2.20s

A piece of wood is cheaper and 4 times as effective. Maybe I should let him starve to death attacking the door; would I really want my fourth colonist to be someone so dumb he tries to cut through a door with a rock?


Now that I look at his backstory, it might actually explain it...

Adulthood: Escaped convict
Freddie denies involvement in the crimes that brought about his incarceration in a brutal penal colony. He escaped by tunnelling beneath the perimeter using modified cutlery.
Mining: +4
Crafting: +2
Doctoring disabled


So he probably crafted a rock into a shiv, and now is trying to tunnel through my door with it.
Some sort of psychic wave has swept over the landscape. Your colonists are okay, but...
It seems many of the scythers in the area have been driven insane.

Barley

Booted up a new Rimworld Colony. Chose to go with the first randomly generated colonists. Who did I get?

Two 56 year old men.
And a 38 year old, genetically engineered, female sex slave.

Mithradates

Quote from: Barley on February 20, 2015, 02:43:30 AM
Booted up a new Rimworld Colony. Chose to go with the first randomly generated colonists. Who did I get?

Two 56 year old men.
And a 38 year old, genetically engineered, female sex slave.

Oh, I can one-up you here.

I've had 'Ellie' before. She was 23. And in the same generation...Mi/Mia (I forget her name) the Teen Pop Star; 16. And then some 25 year old dude whose name I believe was Mike. He was an Oaf.
Romani arma in omnis habent, acerruma in eos, quibus victis spolia maxuma; audendo et fallundo et bella ex bellis serundo magni facti. Per hunc morem extinguent omnia aut occident.

Cimanyd

My colony's first victim of food poisoning is the sniper who shot my cook's arm off (and was captured).



Inadvertently... sure...
Some sort of psychic wave has swept over the landscape. Your colonists are okay, but...
It seems many of the scythers in the area have been driven insane.

muffins

A visitor hanging out in my stockpile puts her meal on the ground in order to eat it. The moment it touches the ground a nearby colonist brazenly swipes it and carries it back to the dining room and eats it himself  ;D

It's a new colony so perhaps he got fed up with all the survival meals lol

Panzer

Well, thats... nasty... ;D although I am quite intrigued how he managed to depict a burning turtle in a erotic way ;D

[attachment deleted due to age]

Mithradates

Quote from: Panzer on February 21, 2015, 05:37:15 PM
Well, thats... nasty... ;D although I am quite intrigued how he managed to depict a burning turtle in a erotic way ;D

No-no; it's not the turtle that is being depicted erotically...it's the people looking on. You have some sick colonists.
Romani arma in omnis habent, acerruma in eos, quibus victis spolia maxuma; audendo et fallundo et bella ex bellis serundo magni facti. Per hunc morem extinguent omnia aut occident.

Der Failer

#372
I still wondering why they bordered bringing this poor guy to a raid.
I imagine two of them carrying him to my colony dropping him on the ground and say to him he should wait there they will be back soon (spoiler: they won't).

[attachment deleted due to age]

wh72

Funniest thing that happened to me yet was a group of visitors came and started eating my food and they left right as a raid started and one of them got shot in the pelvis and was remarkably slow so she was walking around slowly and she goes into a dazed and confused state and i'm like "okay well I cant get here arrested or else they will hate me and I can't help her or get rid of her so she'll just bleed out". turns out I got a tough one , not only does she not bleed out she also doesn't starve and she gets out of the broken state and decides to come to my colony and eat all my food forever then after she single handedly managed to eat every piece of cooked food in the colony she then eats raw stuff and goes on a psychotic rampage in my medical room and attacks my super soldier who is on anesthetic and by the time anyone gets there the dude is already missing a bionic eye that I had to replace ... not fun.

another time was the one where I was being attacked by about 20 raiders who were beseiging me and a guy walks right through their camp to grab a beaver we killed earlier and then gets incapped and my super soldier has to run across the map and snipe people who try to kidnap him just so on the last one the explosive weapon he has kills the guy  >:(

third time was when one of my colonists was manning a mortar against a raid of about 30 people and kills every single one of them with a head shot a heart shot or incaps them with leg shots it was freaking holarious

Sorenzo

This is certainly not the funniest thing I've seen, but it's quite memorable.

Lorr, the Empath, had been with me from the start. He was quite capable as a doctor and a cook, and was a huge asset when it came to recruiting and trading. But, of course, he would never lift a finger to hunt or fight, even in self-defense. Which made for some wonky early battles - half my compound nearly burnt down because it took too long to incapacitate a stray raider before I could deal with the rest. Of course, the ever dutiful Lorr did help put out the fires.

One day, much later, I am attacked by a large group of raiders. At this point I have about twenty colonists, and a strong defensive perimeter to put them behind. I was quite confident that I could avoid losses, but I did not. Why? Because shortly after the raiders had gotten into position, and I had started firing at them, Lorr the Empath, who I had obviously not drafted to fight, runs into the no-man's land. I imagine he was waving his arms in the air, trying to explain to everyone that all this violence was really unnecessary and futile. Of course, his impromptu negotiations failed when he was shot dead - by which side I frankly don't know, probably both.

I couldn't keep playing the save after a while without Lorr. It just wasn't the same. And I'm pretty sure he was my best cook, warden, and doctor all at the same time. I would have happily lost several nameless, faceless combat veterans instead of Lorr.