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Nevermind.

I realise what happened. I downgraded my reward when I realised it was only the name (and you were being picky about what was allowed) and not a backstory.

Sorry for the trouble.

HECAP quickly became their leader's right hand and took over when the opportunity arose, connecting his shower to the ship's waste disposal acid.

Awesome!

So I spend the last two months working (yay holiday retail) without a scrap of inspiration. Stuff dies down and I hop back over here, and what do I find? ...awesome. Just awesome. I ask for help in putting it together and you do all of it, zay. o.o My timing is weird. But that looks really, really great. And I think I like 'Nonchalant Worldkiller'. It just makes it seem like she went '...oops. Oh well. Time to find more cool stuff.'

I may bump Construction on there also though, since that's used to repair buildings (and she's good at tinkering).

Due to character limits, I went with 'Indworld urchin / Urchin' and 'Apocalyptic exile / Exile' in the fields. Thank you, zay!

No worries.

It's your reward! You paid for it.

Glad to help.

[NAME]

I agree with you, that shooting wouldn't be a skill that comes from being an Urbrat and that melee would be far more applicable. But in terms of being a Marshal, I think I just got lazy with naming the class and should have called it Wandering Marshal instead because that's more applicable as a wandering lawman that goes from colony to colony dispensing justice to all those that need it.

I'm not sure about the mix n' match thing cause this is supposed to be a unique character. But I can adjust for that sort of thing easily.

The nickname comes for a short story I had worked on where he liberated a Agricultural colony from the clutches of a tyrannical Noble by the name of Wyatt where he blew up the arsenal during the Great Harvest Festival and filled the sky with colorful fireworks that signaled the rebels in the hills to attack and seize the town from the Noble man and liberate it.

Yeah. I've reread the guidelines about character creation.

Just remember it is misleading to call it character creation - you are creating backstories - characters will change in individual gameplays.

Tynan says to make unique backstories that can come in a set if you want. Have a look at how the current backstories go together and work. I think the mix 'n' matching isn't as important as I thought, but I think it is something to consider. http://rimworldwiki.com/Backstories

I think if you want a story that he liberated a farming colony - make that the adulthood story (Farmworld Liberator or Farmworld Lawman).

Cos I've been doing grammar and wording tweaks to everyone else's I've read:

Childhood: Urban Rat - Urbworld Rat
Born to deep in the tunnels beneath the broken and cracked surface of an Urban World Urbworld, NAME spent his life hidden away from the monoliths of the surface living in the holes and tunnels that winded into the infinite labyrinth that was known as the Crucible hidden away from the monoliths of the surface. Everyone this young boy NAME had ever cared about was torn away from him by the death and destruction of his home world. HE learned to hate and to be a cold killer as HE lived by the gun as he fought against anyone that stood in his way towards ascension.

Doing some more English research. "Crucible" being a metallurgy container - might better suit a modern Industrialworld, rather than an Urbworld, but it would be suitable eaither way.

Also as much as I originally like this idea - if you are looking to make something unique - I would steer clear of the cliche and overused "street urchin becomes great" idea. There are already several irchin backstories, and I've seen more on these forums. Also urchins are resourceful - is there a reason for all the labour disables (I think I can understand growing and research - but cooking - jeez that's a lifeskill)

Adulthood: Wandering marshal. (Better name than before! - perhaps consider lawman instead of marshal (which suggests a permanent official/government sponsored positing))
Having grown weary of death and strife, NAME resolved to leave HIS old life behind and use his abilities to help others that can't help themselves. Leaving HIS homeworld, he began traveling the known universe as a wandering Marshal, aiding those in need (explain this more... Marsha is not a common word and has ultiple meanings)


Alternative adulthood: Farmworld liberator
Having grown weary of death and strife, NAME resolved to leave HIS old life behind and use his abilities to help others that can't help themselves. On a medieval farming world ruled by the despot, Wyatt the Greedy, HE found such an opportunity. During that season's Harvest Festival HE sabotaged the despot's arsenal, signaling the rebels in the hills to attack teh towers and liberate their people.

[During a peasant uprising,]

Like it.
Minor tweaks.

Childhood: Medieval Escapee (Royal Refugee)
NAME was born the second son in a royal family ruling a continent on a distant Medieval world. During a peasant uprising, the rebels won and slaughtered all HIS family. NAME fled, a hunted outcast, until HE managed to sneak aboard a passing trade ship.

Adulthood: Urbworld Mercenary
Leading a life as a soldier for hire, NAME fought for governments, pirate groups, industries and even worked as a prison warden for a time.
During a recent job working for a mining company, he was involved in a cave-in, creating a fear of enclosed spaces.

("recent" will date depending on the ifespan of your colony).

Very cool.

Childhood tagname: Industrialworld laborer. Industrialworld chemslave. Industrialworld slagger. Industrialworld accident victim.


Adulthood tagname: Pirate/Mercenary engineer (perhaps construction/crafting bonus)

[and robots to making]

Nice.

Consider disabling Caring (ugh... fleshies...)

Grammar tweaks:
Mechanoid Nerd (Mechanoid tinkerer, Robot fan)
NAME grew up in an urbworld as the only child of a pair of mechanoid designers.
They always encouraged HIS interest in their work, which slowly lead to an obsession to learn and build HIS own.
Unfortunately this also lead to HIM being a loner as HE prefered HIS technical books and robots to making friends.

Military Engineer
NAME worked as an engineer for the colonial military.There HE got to play with weapons, drones and other fun stuff the soldiers damaged.
HE specialized in repairing and modifying their tools and learned even more by testing them out.

Love it. Great backstory that really makes a character.

Shouldn't shortname be "Vlad"?

Childhood: Industrialworld Urchin
NAME grew up on the streets of a world just hitting their industrial revolution. HIS life consisted of stealing, begging and tinkering with the scraps of machines. HE was always on the look out for a way out of this downtrodden life.

Disable - Growing (no plants)
+ 2 Crafting
+ 1 Melee

Adulthood: Absconding Doombringer/Doombringing Absconder/Nonchalant Worldkiller

NAME discovered an ancient archaelogical device on HIS homeworld. Curiosity got the better of HIM and HE unwittingly unleashed an apocalyptic event turning into a Toxicworld of immense proportions. Luckily HE escaped before the worst of it came about. Carefree with a spaceship of HIS own, NAME barely thought any further about the event and set about finding the next piece of hypertech to abuse.

Disable - Caring (sociopath), artistic (pointless)
Enable Scary and Violent.
+2 Crafting
+3 Research
+2 Shooting
+2 Melee


How's that?

[self]

Sound good.

Childhood - name change - "Urbworld Tech-head" or "Urbworld tinkerer" or "Urbworld Loner". With a heavier social penalty maybe.
Grammar fixes (you used a lot of fragments)
"As a child and teenager, Dominic never had the voice to stand up for himself. He would favour keeping others happy at his expense if that made his life easier; avoiding confrontations as if it was a deadly virus. Favouring microchips over relationships, his interest in technology is what kept him going. He eventually began his journey; travelling the stars, experiencing and learning about the different types of tech people used."[/s]

I've suggested two bits to remove. The "favouring microchips" is a good part, but I suggest you choose between it and the "avoiding confrontations ..."; it seems a little bit repetitive information - but really, up to you.
The last sentence is already described in your adulthood (and really is about his adulthood).

Adulthood - name change "Techncial genius" or "Travelled tech-head" or "Travelling tinkerer"
Also grammar fixes:
After years of travelling on various starships and sampling the technologies of other cultures, Dominic grew into his own man. He has kept his the naturally caring nature that he had as a child, despite all the bulky others put him through. He has learnt a vast amount on his travels, knowing what would seem like petabytes of information when it came to technology. He even replaced his right arm with a robotic replacement prosthetic to better help him with his technological experimentations. Always researching and knowing how to tweak or fix something.

Not sure if "bulky" is plain English? Last sentence is not a sentence, it's a fragment. It also describes current behaviour, backstories are meant to be that - backstories. Perhaps something about constant researching, tweaking and/or tinkering could go after "Dominic grew into his own man" (describing the man he became).

Like it. Adulthood backstory flows well.

Not sure about the final sentences in either description - they are good for your particular character. I wonder if they still allow the backstories to transpose onto other characters.

Description for childhood could be Midworld dabbler or Midworld artist or Midworld sketcher.

Done

That's really not how PMCs work.
I'm not sure that they have Marshals. And if they did, I doubt they'd be the ones being hired out given their high rankingness.

All my comments were in good faith as constructive feedback on an idea posted for constructive feedback.

Marshal just doesn't match the description given.

I'm also curious how a lone gun, saviour of the little people got the nickname "Rave".

Looks like you're trying really hard to make this a shooting character. Not that there is aything wrong with that.

Like the urbworld rat idea. Don't know if it should have shooting though (guns are expensive), perhaps more melee.

Also not sure about the name for Marshal for hire. What definition of "marshal" are you using http://www.thefreedictionary.com/marshal
Seems to mean a high ranking military officer (who shouldn't be for hire), a sherrif/police officer (again not for typically available for hire) or a law clerk (not what you are meaning I think).
Perhaps "Bounty hunter" or "Gun for hire" would be better titles.

Also I think you are meant have background descriptions that are generic and can be mix 'n' matched by the computer to create new characters, so referring to the childhood in the adulthood may not always make sense.

Hi,

I backed on kickstarter as a "Pirate" tier.

I should be permitted to add a name.

The creative rewards system is not recognising me as having any rewards. The only options it says is to logout and login (done), buy a package I have already purcahsed and whine about it on this forum. Would have been nice to have a direct email option as I think forum seems a pretty weak complaints system.

Yes, I am using the same email address as my creative rewards registration and the emails from kickstarter are both in the same inbox.