Cassandra's War On Drugs

[Shurp]

Well done Randy!   *applause*

[XeoNovaDan]

Damn, I forgot about this thread.

[Listy]

Listy: You Ok Cassandra?
Cassandra: I'm Fine!

[Names are for the Weak]

Randy: Wanna hear a story about people learning to overcome their drug problems?

Me: Sounds uplifting!

Randy: Great! Once upon a time, four people crash-landed on a rimworld. Two of them were addicted to wake-up.

Me: Yeah?

Randy: The two of them fell in love, brought together by their shared problem. Over time, they gradually learned to overcome their addiction.

Me: And they went on to lead a clean, drug-free life with oodles of healthy, beautiful children?

Randy: Let me finish! Then, a shipment of wake-up crash-landed onto the planet. The man promptly relapsed into old habits, destroying all the progress he had made up to that point.

Me: Well, every story needs conflict, I suppose. What happened next?

Randy: A pack of maneating wild boars came in and killed everyone.

Me: What? I thought that this story was supposed to be an uplifting tale about the power of the human mind to overcome adversity!

Randy: When did I say that? No, the moral of the story is that life kicks you when you're down. Goodnight!

Me: But...but...