The Drunkard's Tavern.

[harpo99999]

ull off that junk is oonly gud aginst catts, not drunks, and local police ARE derunks so no woorys

[mabor0shi]

On pay phone in tavern "Hello, warden!...yes, yes, that is all well and good...No, I'm calling to bail out my cat, not my mother. I told her last time she got caught that I would never again—...yes, I did say 'cat'!...Escaped, you say!?...What the hell is an Orassan?...Really?...Do they have boobs and everything?...Nice! And what about their—...My cat? Oh, right! You must be thinking of someone else, I don't have a cat. I have to go. Good day, sir!" Hangs up phone.
Notices poster on wall. "Harpo, you let them shave him?"

WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE
catter

[kubolek01]

It's not so junky. Better it won't hit us, launchers will affect us all, only I have my coldproof jacket, the rest will freeze out easily. Alcohol increase heat loss!

[harpo99999]

unless ignited, then no cold left, which IS a danger for us drunks as we contain a LOT of alcohol, but all we have to do is burp and light the burp and we have FLAME throwers, and the wardens did not shave catter, but singed OFF the fur by the flaming burp thrower method, and I suspect that catter now has a major fear of drunks as the wardens were drinking heavily at the time

[mabor0shi]

catter arrived in the tavern, and was immediately arrested for escapeing lawful arrest, theft, and disturbing the peace,
and was taken BACK to the jail, had all fur shaved off, and had each front paw handcuffed to the opposite rear paw to reduce it's mobility

Inertial reportssaid he wasshaved *BUUURP* but itturned outto be cruel and unusualer than that.  Is it gronna grow back? The... his friggin fur? He'sso ugly now but I stilllove him even... where's my beer go? Do you guyssmell smoke?

[kubolek01]

Who loaded his flamethrower with booze?! It's not good fuel, such a waste!

[catter]

Hello... Why are you all staring at me? Just because I found out how to kill with my bare paws, doesn't mean I can't walk into a bar for a drink. I also found this magic formula that makes me immune to pain and weakness. It also was a very good fur tonic. I would like to buy some liquor now.



Oh by the way, this is my associate: John Hinickle. The crazy man of the jail cells.

[kubolek01]

Ther are always the other ways... We don't like you here, leave before I mark ya as bombing target! *Uses laser on his pistol, pointing at damn catter. "MiGs on the way!"* Best Soviet tech hehehe! Run underground or you end in a nuclear explosion!

[harpo99999]

and the 'flaming burp' police are already burping with the lighters lit infront of them (and they have been boozing on he high proof stuff (ie 200% proof(and about 4 litres each), just strong enough to reduce the jitters a little bit, and incase you are wondering, the only thing more dangerous in a 'close quarters (under 10 metres range)' fight than the 'flaming (burp)' police squad(only 12 'men') is the sas batallion(over 200) armed with flame throwers using napalm (and that is only from the napalm burning for longer which is why ALL the buildings in the area are STONE or fireproof concrete(and the buildings only last about 5 boozings for the squad) and catter has had ONE boozing, but will it survive a second??(btw looks like there will be bbq cat for snacks with the booze tonight, the first burp should remove the fur, the secons start the bbq, the third, remove the leather that was directly under the fur, the fourth heat the bbq to red hot lava temps(for about 20 metres around the target),(btw no target has yet to survive 3 burps hitting it)and most of the burpers can fire at least 10 burps before refilling with another 4 litres of booze

[kubolek01]

Stop em or you burn the whole planet! And us! *Loads a nitrogen shell to his hand cannon*

[harpo99999]

the main means of slowing the burpers is lack of booze, and that there are onle 12 of them,
why do you think that they are not used in any other police force anywhere

[kubolek01]

the main means of slowing the burpers is lack of booze, and that there are onle 12 of them,
why do you think that they are not used in any other police force anywhere

Not only! *Fires the shell, freezing all burpers in place* They gonna unfreeze in a day. And.... it snows?!

[kubolek01]

And well, we have ice cream in booze taste! Tasty as fuck!

[harpo99999]

unfortunately, several of them burped just as you fired your gun at them, and they roasted the shot, gun , gun holder and  the wall behind where the (now totally incinerated) idiot that was holding a gun.
NEVER hold a gun when police are around (specially the burp squad) if you want to live, and if you want others to live around the burp squad, the best defence IS only hold bottles or glasses(and PAY for what you drink (unless you brewed/fermented it yourself then you will be permitted to be considered innocent at all times(even if holding a non-glass/bottle))), as they try to burp away from innocents(all drinkers are assumed to be innocent, and non-drinkers might not be innocent.

[kubolek01]

unfortunately, several of them burped just as you fired your gun at them, and they roasted the shot, gun , gun holder and  the wall behind where the (now totally incinerated) idiot that was holding a gun.
NEVER hold a gun when police are around (specially the burp squad) if you want to live, and if you want others to live around the burp squad, the best defence IS only hold bottles or glasses(and PAY for what you drink (unless you brewed/fermented it yourself then you will be permitted to be considered innocent at all times(even if holding a non-glass/bottle))), as they try to burp away from innocents(all drinkers are assumed to be innocent, and non-drinkers might not be innocent.

And then you enraged my Thrumbo, making it mad about you. I'm the only man in Epsilon who can make Soul Links. So I returned in no time, ready to shoot YOU. Well, more forces are on the way to make a Bioreactor material from what remains. Attacking the First Proselyte of this planet was a bad idea.