Corrupt-A-Wish

[catter]

Granted, but when you are cut down you die and you can't stop others from chopping you down.

Hey, that tree looks good.

I think that is the magic tree.

Magic, smagic! Just help me chop it down.

The magic tree soon is cut down, but instead of a moaning sound as it falls is a high pitched squeal as if a little girl was injured majorly.

I wish to be out of the jar.

[{insert_name_here}]

Wish granted. You escape from the jar to find yourself in a post-apocalyptic society where robot overlords control every aspect of our lives. As soon as you emerge from your jar, a squad of security bots spot you and capture you. They then brainwash you and you become a mindless slave to the robot overlords.

I wish I was a penguin (in a zoo).

[Names are for the Weak]

Granted, you are now a penguin in a zoo. However, because the zookeeper was drunk, he put you in the polar bear exhibit and you are promptly killed and eaten by them, much to the horror of visitors.

I wish I could fly.

[Mufflamingo]

Granted. You can now fly. But you are encaged in a two-meter high container.

I wish for unlimited food supply.

[{insert_name_here}]

Wish granted. A magical geyser appears in the middle of your home and proceeds to endlessly spew food. However, the "food" being spewed out happens to be tarantulas (they are eaten in some parts of the world). The flood of tarantulas quickly envelops the whole neighbourhood. There is no way of stopping the geyser - spiders continue to spew out. These tarantulas begin to breed with each other, creating even more spiders. The entire country is in a state of emergency now - anyone within a ten kilometre radius of the geyser is told to evacuate as quickly as possible. The onslaught of tarantulas doesn't stop, they overrun the entire country in a few weeks. After that, the entire continent. Over the course of decades, the gigantic pile of tarantulas (most of them dead by now just from suffocating under the immense amount of spiders) envelops the entire planet. There are only a few survivors now, living in concrete bunkers they cannot escape or else they will be suffocated under the huge pile of spiders. After a century, there are no humans left.

A million years later, a spaceship of extraterrestrials passes by a planet in a certain spiral galaxy. One of these aliens looks out the window and sees that the planet is completely black. Taking out a telescope, he takes a closer look. The surface of the planet appears to be covered completely in miniscule insects. The alien dismisses the thought. That's too ridiculous to be true. Soon the planet is only visible from the window as a tiny speck in the distance.

I wish for an unlimited supply of money. However, I am able to control the amount of money at any time, so that it doesn't spew out money endlessly.

[Mufflamingo]

GRANTED! BUT THEN YOU ARE IN A APOCALYPTIC SETTING WHERE MONEY HAS NO VALUE!

I wish for unlimited supply of Food. (NO TARANTULAS!)

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are surrounded by food anywhere you can watch or walk. That is, if you can move. You would have to eat that food to move, but to truly make it unlimited it reappear everywhere you aren't.
None of this food is tarantulas, most of it is live snake (a practice in China) or many other live insect, live larva, live rodent, live octopus...

I wish people remembered to corrupt the wish using a logical consequences, not making up unrelated perils.
I wish for a gold ingot.

[catter]

Granted, now give it back to the federal reserve you thief you.

I wish to have a small amount of stones the size of baseballs.

[{insert_name_here}]

Wish granted, they all fall out of the sky at terminal velocity and punch through your skull, instantly killing you.

I wish for a slice of (not poisoned) pizza.

[NeverPire]

Wish granted. Just before you choke by swallowing an olive core, killing you slowly by asphyxia.

I wish to have a hammer (to change the world).

[catter]

Granted, but you are now forever pinned to the ground with it because you are not worthy.

I wish to have the same rocks from my last wish in my paw hand, without damaging me.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, you now have a small amount of the sames rocks which killed you earlier in your hands, still soaked with your blood and bit of your brain.


I wish I had an hyper-intelligent self-replicating robot that make sure paperclip are always available, to be safe it must be programmed to always want to preserve human species forever if it conflict with it's first task.

[NeverPire]

Granted, but your super-intelligent robot has calculated that the human specie has more chance to be preserved if you die. It decides to drown you under the paperclips.

I wish to have an orange.

[catter]

Granted, you then vomit because it was very black and it stank.

I wish to be back alive, but have the corruption somehow connect beck to the hell apartment...

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted but we are all sick to death with that shitjoke nobody know about and the rest are trying to get you banned for it.


I wish for catter's avatar to depict a dog, forever.