RULES:
1. True - The wish asked for must come true, but in a horrible way. Saying that the wish doesn't come true is Denial. You may not deny a wish, there are no exceptions. You may, however, Revert someone's corruption/wish, if it fails to follow the rules.
2. Corruptible - Your wish must be corruptible. Refrain from asking for an ultimately, and bluntly, incorruptible wish.
3. Logic - The corruption must make some minimal-sort of logical sense, and be relevant to the wish.
4. Horrid - The corruption must be horrible, refrain from one-line corruptions, and expand upon what happens because of the wish.
5. Wish - You must make a wish, otherwise, your entire corruption of where the wish should have been is invalid. Instead of editing to add your wish, you must make a second comment before someone else realizes, and posts, that you failed to have a wish.
6. Edits - Heavily refrain from editing your corruptions/wishes, instead, make a new comment before anybody else if you forget your wish. If you're wanting to change a wish/corruption, you may not. Think wisely.
7. Revert - An available option for those who believe someone failed to uphold a rule. Please state which rule, or rules, when you Revert someone's corruption, wish, or comment. Unlike "Denial", this is a legal action, but only valid when a rule was broken.
8. Satisfaction - If a corruption/wish doesn't meet the above standards, but is accepted by whom's wish was corrupted, or is going to corrupt said below-standard wish, then it overrules all of the above rules.
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Let me start : I wish I could pull a rabbit out of my hat. I also wish for a hat.
Your wish has been granted! Yet your hat was a Bondage and Sadomy leather cap and you could only pull out rotten dead rabbits.
I wish for a cup of ramen noodles
You get your cup of ramen, but it is filled with living maggots.
I wish the Nintendo NX would be released next week.
You get your midget, however, he is a very loudmouthed, obnoxious fellow. Additionally, everyone knows he's YOUR midget to deal with. Finally, he does all your chores...once...and now you must take good care of him (remember, the authorities are watching how you treat him!) until the end of his natural life....enjoy your new layabout dependent!
I wish I were financially well-off and secure.
You get your wish while accessing your safety deposit box at your bank. You hear some kind of emergency evacuation announced on the intercom and turn your head just in time to see a bank employee hurriedly close the vault door without checking if anyone was still inside. You pound the massive vault door for a few minutes before trying your phone. Inside the vault, behind three meters of concrete and steel, the reception is appalling and you only manage a couple dozen seconds of connected calls in the four hours it took the battery in your phone to die. From the few garbled words from friends and family that you managed to understand you work out what happened. There was a major nuclear leak. There is a 70km exclusion zone. It will be in place for at least a year, and probably forever. No-one is coming back to open the vault door.
You are at least surrounded by pallets and pallets of currency, and completely and utterly secure, entombed in an impregnable bank vault.
The oxygen only lasts a week.
I wish I had a chocolate cheesecake.
You now own a chocolate cheesecake, sadly it is currently stored on the moon. You can go and retrieve it whenever you want though!
I wish I was high on potenuse.
Granted, you Die and Your Soul is Forced to exist as An Episode of Key and Peele, I hope You like being Dead AND non-Sentient.
I wish For the Ability to View the Future.
Granted, you can now see the future. Always, wether you want to or not. You can however not change it, since you've already seen it happening. You now have to live knowing all the suffering you, your loved ones, and the human race must go through - without being able to do anything about it. As your life now consist of being a puppet in a permanent deja-vu, you're slowly driven insane.
I wish A13 would not break my mods.
Wish granted. I will ensure a13 does not break your mods by esnuring it never gets released. Everyone hates you now.
I wish for every shoe my enemy buys to be slightly too small.
Your wish is granted, and since everyone can be your enemy, even yourself, every shoe on earth is slightly too small. Including the one you are using right now.
I wish for a formula to eat more and lose weight
Granted, in fact you loose so much weight that you become a pile of bones. Now we can feed you whatever we want, but it just seems to go right though you.
I wish I could get someone to do my work for me.
Granted, It's you.
I wish for my actions to never cause problems for me.
Granted, your actions never cause you problems. Sadly your body causes you the problems.
Quote from: Crazyabe on March 10, 2016, 07:24:36 PM
Granted, It's you.
:(
I wish I could get someone to do my work for me who isn't me.
Done, someone is doing your work, but now you're doing their work, and they are a quality tester for a suppository device.
Simply, I wish for cake.
Your wish is granted, now every wish you have will be for cakes. Its frosting, its softness, its taste... too bad you didn't wish for a cake.
I want to be a pie!
Granted, You have Pie to the 9000000000000000'th Decimal place Tattooed over, and Within, your body.
I wish for The Power to cause Paradoxes.
Granted! Then one day you mutter "I wish I'd never been born!" about some trivial trouble and accidentally abort yourself in the past. How were you able to wish yourself aborted, if you never grew up to be able to make such a wish? That paradox destroys the universe.
I wish that the number 9 was abolished forever.
You wake up with a the number after 8 being 九. Have fun learning kanji or have fun learning base 60 babylonian maths! The old character character "9" is now German (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZeciX-3wfs).
I wish for the milk in the fridge to never run out.
granted, your fridge contains a limitless amount of milk, this milk exists as milk ONLY in the fridge, becomeing pus if you ever attempt to remove it.
I wish School was non-existant.
You wish was granted! All schools, free-market, government and home schools have been erased from existence!
Within a generation people are throwing their own poop at each other while arguing over which rocks are edible.
I wish that there was no crime.
There is no crime, but the government regulates anything and everything about everybody's life, including 24/7 direct video surveillance and tracking devices.
I wish that I could hop into any story/movie/game and change events if I so choose
Congrats. You can now change the events of every movie. So can your long lost twin brother Phil the movie hatter. On day he decided to make every movie a 50 shades of grey clone, causing every movie company to go bankrupt.
Wish A)I wish for 2 more wishes.
Wish B)I wish that all my wishes are uncorruptible, including Wish A, Wish B and Wish C.
Wish C)I wish for you to ccorrupt wish B.
Quote from: TheGentlmen (GENTZ /'jen(t)z/) on March 14, 2016, 05:38:35 AM
Congrats. You can now change the events of every movie. So can your long lost twin brother Phil the movie hatter. On day he decided to make every movie a 50 shades of grey clone, causing every movie company to go bankrupt.
oh god no
Quote from: TheGentlmen (GENTZ /'jen(t)z/) on March 14, 2016, 05:38:35 AM
Congrats. You can now change the events of every movie. So can your long lost twin brother Phil the movie hatter. On day he decided to make every movie a 50 shades of grey clone, causing every movie company to go bankrupt.
Wish A)I wish for 2 more wishes.
Wish B)I wish that all my wishes are uncorruptible, including Wish A, Wish B and Wish C.
Wish C)I wish for you to ccorrupt wish B.
2. Corruptible - Your wish must be corruptible. Refrain from asking for an ultimately, and bluntly, incorruptible wish.
On that note... Your wish A is granted, you now have two more wishes, but once you make them, you will be buried alive in casket of iron. You could wish for a super abilty to pass through objects or teleport, but... you already made the two.
Since the wishes are a powerful thing, even If you say "I want to be able to break any rock in the world", and then wished for an unbreakable rock, The second wish would overight the first. If the order was the opposite, you would be able to break the rock.
But you don't care about that, you are under a casket of iron, many meter below earth.
I wish to stop being colorblind.
Your wish is granted, the entire world is now greyscale only. You're no longer colorblind, as no colors exist to be blind to. Depression rates increase tenfold, as many loose the will to live without any color in their lives. Imagination dies, and everyone hates you.
I wish the grass was greener on this side.
The grass really was greener on the other side! Unfortunately that was due to the area being an uncleared minefield so none of the locals could trample the grass or pasture animals there.
But you didn't know that. Now you're confined to a wheelchair.
I wish to have neat hand writing!
Edit - I didn't read the previous wish correctly. Feel free to disregard my post.
your hand writing is very neat, but everything you write turns into obscene curses when read by others. when what you wrote became a meme, radical extremists tracked, kidnapped, raped, and beheaded you for your blasphemy. what you actually wrote was that you love bees, in a very neat handwriting.
----
i wish that i am one can short of a six pack.
"A few cans short of a six pack - adjective: ...of lower than average intelligence."
Is that... your wish? Well, granted. From now on, you will start to understand less and less about the world, sometimes people will talk and talk and you will not be able to grasp the whole content of the conversation, with time, your will start to lose notion of space, time, reading will become harder, math will become impossible, and a long way down the road, you will become a monkey.
I wish to know a magic spell that can change my gender at any time I like!
Congratulations! You are now treated as a transsexual by the worst of US standards. You're not allowed to marry, will get turned down for any job you apply to. People on the streets will look at you funny at best, randomly tell you that you're going to hell for your sins, and occasionally beat you up because they can. You're not allowed to go to any toilets, and parents will scream at you for even looking at their children, because you're a sexual deviant.
I wish I could turn into a teddybear at will.
you transformed into a teddybear, driving a windowless van that says "free candy inside". however, your plan backfired as dozens of hobos started jumping inside looking for free candy. there were so many people that got trapped inside that you all died from stench and suffocation..
i wish i can break the fourth wall of reality.
You break the fourth wall...
Reality collapses on top of you and you cease to exist.
~~~~~~~
I wish I can solve rubix cubes.
Granted, now you are able to solve any rubix cube, even the ones that have 18 sides, the only problem is that this ability cost your vision. Good luck blindly solving these cubes.
I wish the world would become the same as Nickelodeon Avatar's saga. With the elements bender and the cabbage cart men.
Congrats, you have the luck of all of the cabbage cart men combined.
I wish that Star Wars was real.
Your wish was granted. You were on Alderaan and was killed with everyone else.
I wish that Star Trek was real.
(For the reboot version) You were on Vulcan when the Narada destroyed it while in a lecture dictated by a Vulcan.
(For the Prime Universe) You were in an especially boring lecture dictated by a Vulcan, and then the Borg crash through the ceiling and assimilate you.
I wish that Mass Effect was real.
Quote from: falconbunker on March 16, 2016, 09:01:46 PM
(For the reboot version) You were on Vulcan when the Narada destroyed it while in a lecture dictated by a Vulcan.
(For the Prime Universe) You were in an especially boring lecture dictated by a Vulcan, and then the Borg crash through the ceiling and assimilate you.
I wish that Mass Effect was real.
Mass effect is now real. Sadly, your not part of the Mass Effect universe so you now seize to exist.
I wish none of you post on this thread again, FOREVER.
You get your wish and no one posted ever again.
They decided to shitpost 24/7 instead.
fite me m8.
~~~~~~~
I wish santa was real.
Santa is real and he gives the most amazing gifts every Xmas! However, your name somehow got on his naughty list so you get coal every year. In fact he fills your house with it every year. And the government, always eager to try some new scam to thieve peoples' money, slap a $400 "carbon tax" on the coal. Xmas for you now means being poor, hungry and exhausted from shovelling coal all day.
I wish that we could understand dolphin communication.
We understand dolphin communication. However, they have sufficiently higher intelligence compared to us and every time we hear anything they say, it feels like being mindfucked with a psych lance.
I wish for us all to be able to count 9000 on the counting thread before Tynan posts.
Your wish is granted, everyone is able to count to 9000. But it dosen't mean they will.
I wish to get a degree in engineer as soon as possible... so that I can stay home with my wife everynight... I really miss that.
your wish was granted in an alternate dimension where we can all have nice things. sadly we don't live in that dimension. you are filled with a consuming inner rage knowing that the alternate version of you is having so much fun right now.
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i wish that cute girl farts smell like perfume.
Your wish is granted! I'll throw in as well that all girls are now cute for the purposes of this wish. Unfortunately, the only perfume their farts smell like are the ones in Monsters Inc (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0198781/quotes?item=qt0457893).
I wish I can travel back and forth through time and space!
Granted! You now have a little blue boxy time machine that can take you to any place or time! Tragically you are also cursed with a British accent, a far from peaceful existence and a mediocre tv series about your life on a staid and boring state television channel.
I wish that whenever I opened my mouth a torrent of fist-sized spiders would spew out like water from a broken fire hydrant, covering everything and everyone within 50 yards with heaving mats of spiders.
What is wrong with this muffin, it's filled with spiders! D:
You gain this amazing ability to spew thousands of spiders through your mouth, but unfortunately you cannot speak anymore. Since people realized your power, they sewed your mouth so that you can't open it again. But the spiders are still inside, and they are hungry. Since you can't open your mouth, they start reproducing themselves inside you, and finding other ways to get out. When people see that the spiders are getting out through there AND there, the close both of this holes and leave you like an living sack of skin fulled of spiders until they eat all your insides and break your skin to get out and bring terror to the world.
I wish that neither muffins wish nor it's corruption come true.
Wish granted. Muffins' wish didn't get corrupted because his wish never came true. His wish didn't happen because no wishes were granted. You now live in a world without wishes. Which really sucks, as Kirby & Mario & other video game stars can attest to.
I wish the world would have wishes!
Granted, sadly you must pay 9 billion dollars to Tynan to get assess to the DLC which activates this feature.
If you don't want to pay 9 billion dollars, you can instead decide to sell your soul and body to Tynan so you can be his code monkey.
Don't worry, we'll upload your brain to the matrix.
I wish I was in the matrix.
Your wish came true and you're now living in the matrix! Unfortunately your virtual job doesn't pay enough to allow you rent time on a good server. Instead you live your whole existence on a budget server where the graphics are blocky, the connection is laggy, the frame rate never gets above 8fps and everything tastes like cardboard. Then one day you lag out while crossing a road and watch in glorious 8fps horror as a bus runs you over.
Luckily the second-rate collision algorithm bugged out and you witness the surprised terror of the passengers as you effortlessly pass through the bus.
You rage-quit a week later.
I wish to be happy.
Your wish is granted and you become happy.
But it isn't enough.
The drugs you take everyday to do so slowly destroyed your mind.
One night, in an effort to become happier. You sought to remove what you believe is the source of all your problems.
You go to the kitchen. Swiftly grabbed a knife.
And went to the rooms where each problem slept softly...
With a happy smile. You ended each problem one by one.
With one problem left to remove. You go in front of a mirror.
And took a good look at it.
With a grin and one quick motion.
You calmly end it all.
...
You become happy.
~~~~~~~
I wish to divide by 0
Quote from: A Friend on March 19, 2016, 07:13:23 AM
Your wish is granted and you become happy.
But it isn't enough.
The drugs you take everyday to do so slowly destroyed your mind.
One night, in an effort to become happier. You sought to remove what you believe is the source of all your problems.
You go to the kitchen. Swiftly grabbed a knife.
And went to the rooms where each problem slept softly...
With a happy smile. You ended each problem one by one.
With one problem left to remove. You go in front of a mirror.
And took a good look at it.
With a grin and one quick motion.
You calmly end it all.
...
You become happy.
~~~~~~~
I wish to divide by 0
You can now divide by zero. J/0 = j*0.
Sadly you spend your whole life trying to discover the value of j.
I wish I knew everything.
Granted. Now you know everything in the whole Universe. But this includes all thougths of every human and every Alien Individuum. As in every milliseconds trillions of new thougths are born your mind is buzzing with too much Information and you go mad. Nonetheless you cannot go and kill yourself as you know what's comming afterlive.
I wish A13 is released today.
Granted. A13 is getting released today (Venusian Calendar). A Venusian day is approximately 243 Earth days long.
I wish I did not get tired without sleep.
You get your wish and you never needed sleep ever again.
The government discovered this and they wish to harness your power.
You are forced to run on a giant hamster wheel for the rest of your life where your legs and lungs scream.
~~~~~~~~~
I wish people stopped arguing about religion.
Quote from: A Friend on March 20, 2016, 10:45:25 AM
You get your wish and you never needed sleep ever again.
The government discovered this and they wish to harness your power.
You are forced to run on a giant hamster wheel for the rest of your life where your legs and lungs scream.
~~~~~~~~~
I wish people stopped arguing about religion.
Granted, now no one argues bout religion, because now thier is only one religion... the government's religion!
A stalin like dictator has now taken other the world. You must obey his words because he is better than you (and hes god).
Scale of mightiness (according to the dictator):
Him ----
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|
|
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Stalin ----
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God ----
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Peasonts ----
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You ----
I wish I was that stalin like dictator who ruled the world.
you became the world dictator. you were having so much fun and sexy times that it was too late for you to prepare for an oncoming alien invasion.
as the representative of this world, you decided to entrench your forces like the battle of stalingrad. however, the aliens care not for your shenanigans. they decided to teleport you to their mothership to undergo "fusion experiments". they decided to fuse your head to a chihuahua.
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i wish i can one punch everything.
Your wish is granted, after a year and half of 100 daily push-ups, sit-ups, and squats, plus 10 km daily running, you achieved some level of superhuman strength, and because of that now One of your punches is able to destroy anything.
But... even after acomplishing that... in your heart you find a void that cannot be filled, no one can challenge you... and that makes you depressed. You even try to kill yourself, but because of the whole training you are almost immortal now. Knifes, bullets and even head falls from 70 meter dosen't kill you.
So you decided to drink until you forgot all your problems, and found out that alcohol dosen't do a thing against your body. You are alone, sober, depressed and can't kill yourself.
Also, you've become bald.
---
I wish for this world to become a medieval mmorpg with a limited number of people, myself and my wife included. In that world, you can slay monsters for loot and money and you cannot die, if someone or a monster kills you, you respawn in your house or in a spaw point.
Granted. You now live in a MMORPG. You grind monsters every day, for 5 years straight. It gets tire sum and boring. You startr to go insane, you and your wife become distant. Quickly you live under a rock, alone. Abandoned. Depressed. You try to kill your self but you just re spawn under that rock.
Luckly your server was run by EA. On the 7th year the pull the plug on the server. You now don't exist.
I wish I was in Neo Scavenger. With infinite respawns.
granted. you are now stuck in neo scavenger with infinite respawns. sadly i have no idea what gameplay is like so i will just invent random stuff based on the name :
while you are scavenging.. "stuff" for the umpteenth time, you realize that you are no longer content with all of these pixels you collected. you suddenly yearn for the 3d sensations of a hot meal and sexy times, so you tried to be "an hero" by offing yourself to no avail.
you dread the realization that there is no escape. you are stuck inside of the game.. forevah.
--------
i wish people's emotions are displayed as emoticons in real life, so i don't have to guess what they feel like.
Quote from: keylocke on March 22, 2016, 03:02:01 AM
granted. you are now stuck in neo scavenger with infinite respawns. sadly i have no idea what gameplay is like so i will just invent random stuff based on the name :
while you are scavenging.. "stuff" for the umpteenth time, you realize that you are no longer content with all of these pixels you collected. you suddenly yearn for the 3d sensations of a hot meal and sexy times, so you tried to be "an hero" by offing yourself to no avail.
you dread the realization that there is no escape. you are stuck inside of the game.. forevah.
--------
i wish people's emotions are displayed as emoticons in real life, so i don't have to guess what they feel like.
Granted, kinda! Now everyones emotion are displayed as emoticons instead of faces, sadly now emoticons ARE pictures of peoples faces, and their is a different set for every person.
Summary is nothing changed! Emoticons are now pictures of faces!
I wish I was the developer of rimworld.
granted. you are now the developer of rimworld. now stop faffing here and get back to work developing the game, you magnificent person you.
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i wish to have non-stop sexy times with some bodacious twin babes while riding down on a burning helicopter, sipping mountain dew, and shouting "indeed!".
You _HAD_ non-stop sexy times with some bodacious twin babes while riding down on a burning helicopter, sipping mountain dew, and shouting "indeed!" UNTELL the the helli hit the ground. Then you exploded into a dozen pieces.
I wish I could faff all I want.
Wish granted, you can now faff all you want. However, because all you do is faff, you never get any work done, which means that you're destined to a terrible life of homelessness due to the fact that you have no money. You turn to drugs, or anything that'll make you happy, but it just isn't enough. You cry every night because of your addiction to faffing. You just want to live a normal life, but you cant.
I wish my dad was famous.
Your wish has been granted, sadly you dad is famous for eating the most hot dogs in a minute and dies soon after.
I wish Tynan posted his wish here(surprisingly noone is breaking the rules lol)
You wish is granted, he posts his wish on this thread, but then he becomes obsessed with this thread, so obsessed that development on Rimworld stops completely and never gets updated.
I wish that someone would break this threads rules on wishing
You're wish has been granted, but you get banned for suggesting the idea, and it doesn't even end up being funny.. I wish that you can't corrupt this wish.
Quote from: Hoat on March 29, 2016, 03:15:46 PM
You're wish has been granted, but you get banned for suggesting the idea, and it doesn't even end up being funny.. I wish that you can't corrupt this wish.
Granted, you cannot corrupt 'this' wish. Sadly you never stated what 'this' is. Is it a adverb, a verb, a pronoun, a noun or what?
maybe you men't This's wish?
I wish I was immortal.
Granted, you are immortal. However, you don't realize that being immortal doesn't mean you're invincible, so you jump off a cliff and die.
I wish that TheGentlmen wasn't a twat.
Your wish is granted. TheGentlmen wasn't a twat. However, he is now a dick.
I wish for my list to flourish with awesome quotes from our community!
Quote from: Bulb on March 30, 2016, 12:42:20 PM
Granted, you are immortal. However, you don't realize that being immortal doesn't mean you're invincible, so you jump off a cliff and die.
I wish that TheGentlmen wasn't a twat.
Aww.. even the new guy knows about my twat-yness!
I must be famous!
Granted, your list flourishes with our quotes, quotes from our barbarians who are knocking down your door to kill you due to not updating your mods for A13.
I wish that bulb's wish becomes incorruptible.
Your wish has been granted, however his wish is asking for you to get crushed by a falling air conditioning unit.
I wish that GentlMen gets hit by a falling air conditioning unit.
Granted, a man named GentlMen get's hit by a falling air conditoning unit. TheGentlmen (GENTZ /'jen(t)z/) looks at the situation and laugh. The scene is made in a baroque style. There are two muffalos behind.
I wish that the whole world was ruled by one king.
Your wish is granted, and the entire world has now come under the lead of a singe king, who holds all power and dictates all rules.
The king spends all his time suppressing world-wide rebellions, then gets assassinated and replaced by another king who does more or less the same thing. A nuke may or may not have been involved.
I wish I can fly, and this time, actually know how to land.
Granted, saddly you happened to fly over a US Cruiser which thought you were a Soviet Nuke. You get shot down by point defence as the US fires all 7K nukes it has. As a responce, the USSR launches its other 7k nukes. Please note you only need 1k Nukes to start a nuclear winter, so not only did you cause WW3, you also put earth in a new ice age.
I wish that I was richer than Bill Gates.
Your wish has been granted, but,not knowing how to spend the money, you end up being assasinated by your children.
I wish of a bowl of uncorruptable ramen noodles
Your wish is granted! The perfection of the ramem noodles is before you! And it is uncorruptable. Meaning you can't change anything about. Unfortunatly, it's completly without salt and taste. Now, you gotta eat it. Bleack
I wish water color to be blue.
Your wish has been granted, yet this is achieved through dissolving alot of cobalt in all of earth's water(including your body liquids) making all humans miserably die.
I wish of a bowl of uncorruptable salted , peppered and generaly completely normal human meat ramen noodles.
Also I wish of an Iphone case out of the foreskins of all earth's manliest celebrities
Your wish is granted. However, you are killed to make the ramen, resulting in your Iphone case being sent to charity.
I wish I could survive a nuclear fallout if it ever happens.
Your wish has been granted, yet you survive it in the form of a live burrito in a rubish bin .
I wish of an Iphone case out of the foreskin of Donald Trump.
Your wish has been granted. However, in order to obtain his foreskin, you had to vote for him first, causing violent anti-trump supporters to hunt you down.
I wish for Inspiration
Granted, but inspiration causes perspiration about the emancipation proclamation when you make historical revelations, which cause you to be hunted by a corrupt government association.
I wish rimworld would get z levels.
Granted, rimworld is never updated for the next 90 years tho.
I wish for Donald trump to be assassinated if he is elected.
Granted, after his assasination, Interpol, FBI and CIA start investigating, and after they find the post above, they realize that didn't get updated, and that your wish became true. They track you down, find where you live, when you notice you are being followed, you run for it, get shot in the leg and taken for interrogation. After days and days getting beat up and torture, you finally scream: "That was my wish and the world will thank me for it!" before dying of bloodloss. Even though that was your thought, the whole world would not know your existence, because all this was kept on secrecy.
Also rimworld was not released because the forum was closed and rimworld postponed.
I wish I had a fish tank
Your wish is granted. However, said fishtank arrives by falling out a cargo plain onto your head from whatever altitude planes fly at, hitting you in such a way that for the rest of your life, you cannot move your body yet your pain receptors fire non-stop 24/7.
I wish earth was attacked by giant mutant zombie moths that look really pretty.
Your wish has been granted. Sadly, the mutant zombie moths release "Donald Trump's obediance remedy™" into the air when they fly, making everyone lay in a convulsive euphoria and not notice their prettiness and elegance.
I wish I had a ramen bowl trimmed wish Donald Trump's foreskin
Wish granted. but donald trumps foreskin is actually the part of his body that holds all of his stupidity. it leaks into the ramen bowl, and whenever you eat from it you slowly get stupider and stupider until one day you think the world revolves around you so you cross the road without looking because you think the cars will stop for you; then you get hit by one and you are paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of your life.
i wish i had the power to manipulate probability (e.g. whats the chance someone will drop a credit card with 1billion dollars infront of me today and forget about it? 0%? lets make that 100%)
Your wish is granted. However, the chances of your ability actually activating the ability is 0%.
I wish my sendowl link updates already.
Your wish is granted. Your sendowl link has been updated, but it's not for Rimworld. It's for Gratuitous Space Battles 2 (https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=18291.msg200708).
Inspired by the last wish, I wish I have an owl.
Granted! You now own the most angry, brutal owl ever existed on earth and for all it's live it will try to kill you and escape from you. The only way of stopping it is killing it, but unfortunately you love it.
I wish for Donald Trump never being mentioned in this thread anymore.
Your wish is granted and Donald Trump i... uh, what I mean is your wish is granted and Don... hrm... Well, your wish is granted, but due to your wish mentioning D... that dude itself, your wish can never mentioned again due to it being impossible to mention your wish without mentioning you-know-who, and because reasons, this causes a rip in the fabric of logic, and you end up locked in a mental facility for all of eternity, then a year, because reasons.
I wish I knew what the heck I just wrote.
Granted, you now undestand what you said, after 10 minutes you kill yourself.
I wish I could take a month off work and collage to dedicate to rimworld A13
Granted. After ten minutes of gaming your computer dies and needs to be send in to be repaired. Service needs a month to repair your computer. You can not wish for the same thing twice.
I wish I could think of a wish.
Your wish has been granted.Sadly, I,the great and awesome Newjack, feel down today and don't feel like completing it, so I just wish for another season of SAO
I wish there was a new season of SAO
The new season of SAO comes out, but sadly the producer of it gets changed at the last minute and he makes some big changes, and essentially turns the once great anime into porn.
i wish for a dog
Your wish has been granted. A 40-ton, mutated, fire-breathing, bullet-proof, missle-proof, ever-hungry, man-eating dog will be dropped in your area in a few hours.
We are not responsible for any property damage, deaths, mental trauma, or any other unwanted things that might occur due to the dog.
I wish I had a fluffy fluffy teddy bear.
Your wish is granted.
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/85/e4/b9/85e4b92a955561497ebcda0c309497f9.jpg)
And then you die.
I wish for an internacional passport so that I can travel the world.
Your wish is granted, but you had to pay for it with all of your life savings, every single penny.
I wish for access to any video game I want for free
GuesUserNameGUN... I thought it was already half porn srsly...
Your wish has been granted.Sadly, a virus is leaked and ends up destroying your computer , your steam account and all your games.
I wish corruptions on this thread became more interesting
Your wish is granting, sadly, 'interesting' is a relative term, and everyone finds the corruptions more interesting... other then you.
I really wish I didn't write anything that might make the grammar nazis come after me.
Granted, and now your fingers feel off, from both your hand and you foot. Because, you can't risk writing something wrong. Also, you are bleeding like hell from all your finger dropping. You get an infection in both legs and on arm, there's no one living with you, you cannot leave bed and cannot be fed. You die from starvation.
I wish for correct amount of drama.
Your wish is granted, I shall now start a mini-argument about why your corrupted my wish wrong.
I wished that I *didn't* write anything wrong, not that I *won't* write anything wrong, meaning my wish is for the past, not present or future. Therefor, my wish causing my fingers to fall doesn't make any sense, because that doesn't prevent any of my previous writing from being grammatically incorrect, and I don't care about mistakes in any future writing. Also, I don't have fingers on my feet, nor will dropped fingers cause infections in my arms or legs. Hands, maybe, but not arms, and certainly not legs. And won't horrible bleeding kill me from blood loss before all that happens anyways?
I sure wish I didn't anger anyone important with all that.
your wish was granted and no one was angered but several people had colonist die during the process of reading your post. they will be remembered in our hearts. 3 of those colonists where ones devs had and all their deaths where gruesome.
The first died of putting alo Vera on his face and chest to find it was mixed with flesh eating bacteria that some neighbor hood pirates put in
The second died by getting ripped apart by wargs pulls so hard on his limbs they ripped off and he bleed to death while being eaten.
The third pissed off zues and was struck several times by lightning. He survived every hit but was knocked over and hit his head and neck on a cactus and died.
The 4 and 5th where ejected out of their escape pods while several thousand feet above the air. Colonist 4 survived but died because he couldn't run from man eating boomalops since he was cripped by the fall
I wish to never have to do chores again!
Your wish has been granted. Because of being crippled by BDSM bandits you are unable to do everyday tasks and are forces to spend the rest of your life watching "50 shades of Gray" over and over.
(By the way if someone has incorrectly corrupted a wish then you must recorrupt it, not continue on)
I wish someone made a virus-free torrent for Rimworld alpha 13 (In Ukraine 30$ is serious money(If you make it 10$ I'll buy it))\
P.S.- Asking on this forum for a torrent is way easier than making a consileum or messaging everyone in person so please stop banning me
Granted, but said torrent only opens if you do a 10 hour long survey with crappy Internet connection, while asking your opinion about ridiculous stuff like lgbt rights, why police are bad, and what you do to prevent white privilege. And if you have to stop at any time, you must do it again from the start, while also having your Facebook now "marked", as a racist homophobe for not completing the survey. If you don't have a Facebook, they will make one for you.
I wish the lgbt movement would finally call it good and stop adding on letters to the acronym / making requests.
Granted, you don't need to make requests when the goverment is a puppet and your the puppet master. Now all people are forced to be LGBTIQ.
I also wish religious folks would stop telling me I'm going to hell, I don't fucking care.
Granted, it occurs when you arrive there. The sounds of flesh being sucked through wire meshes to feed beasts bellow is deafening at times, and you spend eternity bombarded with invisible waves of radiation like substance, making you feel freezing and in pain, while eventually making metal shards appear at your feet once it settles. Filth accumulates in your cell and you can never clean it, and while you can dodge the waves coming in by hearing them fired out through the steel vents, it only serves to exaust you further. You are fed and given water, and your waste piles up, onlo making things worse as your feet skin starts to melt from fungal and bacteria. Any suicide attempt is met with painful resuscitation
Yes, i have a unique view on hell.
I wish people resorting to insults, ad hominid, or other dumb tactics in arguments got mandatory blows to the gut, so discussions would no longer go willy nilly.
Quote from: mumblemumble on April 20, 2016, 02:37:24 AM
Granted, it occurs when you arrive there. The sounds of flesh being sucked through wire meshes to feed beasts bellow is deafening at times, and you spend eternity bombarded with invisible waves of radiation like substance, making you feel freezing and in pain, while eventually making metal shards appear at your feet once it settles. Filth accumulates in your cell and you can never clean it, and while you can dodge the waves coming in by hearing them fired out through the steel vents, it only serves to exaust you further. You are fed and given water, and your waste piles up, onlo making things worse as your feet skin starts to melt from fungal and bacteria. Any suicide attempt is met with painful resuscitation
Yes, i have a unique view on hell.
I wish people resorting to insults, ad hominid, or other dumb tactics in arguments got mandatory blows to the gut, so discussions would no longer go willy nilly.
Granted, sadly you accedently use a tutalogy, causing you to get mandatory blows to the gut.
I wish the Pastafarism was the only religion.
Worth the blows to the gut..
Granted, but since the ideology is so loose, and the lore so limited, the "rules" of the religion are completely unenforceable. Society slowly devolves over time, getting worse, more depraved, until eventually the "religion" falls to the wayside and pleasure is the one and only driving force for people. Drugs, rape, assault, and other things increase while desire to improve the world vanishes, and things eventually fall into dark, almost cave man times. Eventually new religions start, with old principles of existing religions, old virtures, and stability is eventually regained, but this takes a 1000 year process, by which time society has deteriorated.
I wish modern music wasn't such crap that talked about sex, cheating, how much money i got, how I'm going to kick someones ass, and other crap as much.
Quote from: mumblemumble on April 20, 2016, 07:09:22 PM
I wish modern music wasn't such crap that talked about sex, cheating, how much money i got, how I'm going to kick someones ass, and other crap as much.
your wish is granted and sex, cheating, money, and fighting are now no longer exist but all songs that involve more than 5 lines of singing are now sung by dyslexic 5th graders or teenagers that continuously have voice cracks while singing mildly ok
I wish things i order online didnt take so long to order or that express shipping was a lot cheaper, either works
Your wish has been granted, yet this is achieved by using 0-t portals which are controlled by the TechnoCentre, which stores all it's machinery in the singulatiry between portals,and, one day, after the Renegades win, the TechnoCentre decides to eliminate all of mankind.
I wish I had more genies.
Quote from: NewJack on April 25, 2016, 02:08:46 PM
Your wish has been granted, yet this is achieved by using 0-t portals which are controlled by the TechnoCentre, which stores all it's machinery in the singulatiry between portals,and, one day, after the Renegades win, the TechnoCentre decides to eliminate all of mankind.
I wish I had more genies.
Billions of genies appear, but only one can grant your wish. You don't know which one can, and can only talk to one genie at a time. An entire lifetime might not be long enough for you to find your one in a billion wish granting genie...
I wish that rimworld had underwater colonies.
Your wish has been granted, making all colonies underwater. Because you were not ready(no underwater biodomes, food supplies etc.) all your colonies stopped existing.
I wish I had a slave who would constantly increase my post amount.
Your wish has been granted, but your slave will keep on posting an "I am a noob Rimworld player" in this forum. Yeah you noob. :>
I wish my wish will never be granted!!!
congrats! your wish was never granted! but this wish creates a paradox that lets you divide by zero while eating your cake and having it too!
the universe suddenly implodes at this logical zero-cake conundrum, with aliens living in BK201 wondering "wtf is logic?" as they get sucked first in to oblivion.
---
i wish that i can teleport portions of my body via portal. like teleporting my X into someone's Y.
ie : sending my fingers up someone's nostrils. :P
Your wish has been granted, yet your first atempt at teleporting leaves you without your manhood and gives you an infection, from which you die.
I wish there was another season of South Park
granted! however, this new south park season is now a live-action version and you've been involuntarily casted as kenny. have fun getting brutally mutilated every episode.
----
i wish everyone in the world is transformed into a burrito.
Your wish is granted! Everyone, including you, is transformed into a burrito. Two seconds later, a hungry flock of seagulls turned around and said, "Mine?"
---
I wish I have an bottomless mug of coffee.
Quote from: StorymasterQ on May 02, 2016, 09:35:13 PM
Your wish is granted! Everyone, including you, is transformed into a burrito. Two seconds later, a hungry flock of seagulls turned around and said, "Mine?"
---
I wish I have an bottomless mug of coffee.
Your wish is granted, and the steamy brown liquid overflows until it drowns all of civilization. Nothing is left but the memory of pain, and when the last person dies, that too is gone.
I want to get 5/5 on my exams!
Quote from: NuclearStudent on May 03, 2016, 12:21:37 AM
Quote from: StorymasterQ on May 02, 2016, 09:35:13 PM
Your wish is granted! Everyone, including you, is transformed into a burrito. Two seconds later, a hungry flock of seagulls turned around and said, "Mine?"
---
I wish I have an bottomless mug of coffee.
Your wish is granted, and the steamy brown liquid overflows until it drowns all of civilization. Nothing is left but the memory of pain, and when the last person dies, that too is gone.
I want to get 5/5 on my exams!
You got 5/5 questions wrong on the exam... good job.
...
I want to stop procrastinating.
(No ones asked this right?)
Your wish has been granted, you now live a life of leasure on a lifeless planet(no plans- no procrastination), yet, after having played all of earths video games, you shoot yourself.
I wish human ramen would become more than a dream
Granted, but you will be the 1st human ramen to be eaten.
I wish I had 3 bodies.
Your wish has been granted. You gain three rotten corpses+ the cops are after you.
I wish I forgot all interesting movies and books that I have read until now
Granted, but then you never read those books again. the stories that lifted you up when you were down. because of that, you never got out of depression. so you killed yourself.
I wish Civ 6 didnt have that horrible animated art style when it comes out
Quote from: GuesUserNameGUN on May 13, 2016, 06:52:30 AM
I wish Civ 6 didnt have that horrible animated art style when it comes out
your wish is granted and the art in all cut scenes no longer exist and now you can only listen to what the characters say. others can still see them and all the art is amazing but you can only see slightly better art than before.
I wish i was more motivated to write and stopped pushing that stuff off
Your wish is granted and you become more motivated than you've ever been. Instead of pushing that stuff off, you started doing the opposite. You pulled that stuff towards you, with such great intensity that you've basically transformed into a black hole. None could escape your reach as you pulled all, including light to their inevitable destination. Soon enough you consumed the entire milky way galaxy and are on your way to devour the universe. Through the power of motivation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
♪ I want to be the very best
Like no one ever was ♪
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
(Pokemon gotta catch them all)
It's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all)
a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, gotta catch 'em all
Yeaaaah
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me, the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream
(Pokemon gotta catch 'em all)
It's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all) a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, (gotta catch 'em all)
Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all...
Gotta catch 'em allll
Gotta catch 'em all
Yeahh
Pokémon, it's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all) a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, (gotta catch 'em all)
Gotta catch 'em all
POKEMON!
Quote from: A Friend on May 14, 2016, 12:31:54 AM
♪ I want to be the very best
Like no one ever was ♪
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
(Pokemon gotta catch them all)
It's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all)
a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, gotta catch 'em all
Yeaaaah
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day
To claim my rightful place
Come with me, the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream
(Pokemon gotta catch 'em all)
It's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all) a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, (gotta catch 'em all)
Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all...
Gotta catch 'em allll
Gotta catch 'em all
Yeahh
Pokémon, it's you and me
I know it's my destiny
Pokemon, oh, you're my best friend
In a world we must defend
Pokemon (gotta catch em all) a heart so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Po-ke-mon, (gotta catch 'em all)
Gotta catch 'em all
POKEMON!
Your wish is granted you are now the greatest pokemon master of all time so good infact you became a pokemon and captured yourself with the rest of your pokemon collection sitting in your pokebank for all eternity!
I wish dungeon master would become the most popular game of its genre!
Your wish has been granted,yet you didn't specify what Dungeon master . The minigame "Dungeon Master" from sc2 becomes so popular, that the author releases more and more updates, balancing and balancing the heroes, until all the imba heroes that made it fun start sucking. The game becomes like Squadron defence: popular yet terrible.
I wish there were more Donald Trump related videos.
Quote from: NewJack on May 17, 2016, 08:19:23 AM
Your wish has been granted,yet you didn't specify what Dungeon master . The minigame "Dungeon Master" from sc2 becomes so popular, that the author releases more and more updates, balancing and balancing the heroes, until all the imba heroes that made it fun start sucking. The game becomes like Squadron defence: popular yet terrible.
I wish there were more Donald Trump related videos.
Your wish is granted, but that is because he is elected-! He starts bombarding you with propaganda and sets up a secret police. They take you, and your family, away to a camp where you will die for illegally using the internet in the United Facist States of All of america.
I want to be able to play the Gr.10 piano book.
Quote
I want to be able to play the Gr.10 piano book.
You get your wish but now your unable to do anything else.. so badly infact you were found stuck at a piano starving to death your family having no other choice then to put you into a mental ward where you are stuck on machines only the thought of how to play the Gr.10 piano book going through your darkened mind...
I wish that I was loved by all
Your wish is granted, and you are loved by all...
All the mosquitoes in the world that is.
You end up fleeing in terror from the masses of mosquitoes out for your lovely blood, their love giving them super-mosquito powers that lets them cross entire oceans and chase down airplanes to reach you.
And since a large number of those mosquitoes carry deadly deceases, you spend the rest of your life cowering in the frozen arctic living off your greenhouse and drone-diliveries.
On a positive side, the giant mosquito swarm surrounds the entire arctic, preventing any one from entering, which makes the arctic one of the most well preserved location on earth.
The giant swarms of mosquitoes also don't bother anyone who doesn't approach their killer death swarm, decreasing the number of mosquito-born diseases in the world to 0.
I wish that the next person wishes for a thousand pennies.
Your wish is granted and I wish for a thousand pennies to be given to you. Unfortunately there was a miscommunication and they accidentally sent a thousand penises to your home instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish you a jolly good day.
Granted.It will be your last though, as a bunch of people step over you while singing jolly christmas songs.
I wish for a pet mechanoid (inb4itkillsme)
Your wish is granted. However, your pet mechanoid takes about then thousand dollars worth of electricity every day, along with a million dollars worth of special alloys every month, and needs a three trillion dollar checkup every year.
Within the first year of owning your pet mechanoid, both your eyes, and ears, your nose, all four limbs, your stomach, jaw, left lung, left kidney, and all your left ribs are sold to make cash, as are all your belongings.
On the bright side, you're all right now.
I wish all diseases carried by mosquitoes disappeared.
Your wish has been granted! All mosquito-born diseases are now eradicated! All thanks to you. No, seriously. You are harbouring them all so others cannot catch them. Your life expectancy is... oh look, 1 second. Bye!
I wish for a nuclear bomb capable of destroying ISIS.
Quote from: Louisthebadassrimworlder on May 22, 2016, 11:12:25 AM
Your wish has been granted! All mosquito-born diseases are now eradicated! All thanks to you. No, seriously. You are harbouring them all so others cannot catch them. Your life expectancy is... oh look, 1 second. Bye!
I wish for a nuclear bomb capable of destroying ISIS.
You get it- However, SJW's cry about using it for so long that ISIS gets a hold of it by themselves and nukes you.
I wish my writers block was nonexistent.
Your writer's block has taken the form of a real metal block and is currently being transported to a recycling facility. Oh, wait, no. The brick is falling. Look out!
-Louisthebadassrimworlder:
I wish I had my own portal gun.
Your wish is granted! You fire the portal gun anywhere you can. You successfully travel through the portal and end up... wait, here? Oh well, looks like you're going to be spending the month in your mother-in-law's cramped box room!
Quote from: Louisthebadassrimworlder on June 01, 2016, 04:43:27 PM
Your wish is granted! You fire the portal gun anywhere you can. You successfully travel through the portal and end up... wait, here? Oh well, looks like you're going to be spending the month in your mother-in-law's cramped box room!
looks like you forgot your wish bro, so i'll do it for you.
I wish that Louis would remember to follow the rules.
5. Wish - You must make a wish, otherwise, your entire corruption of where the wish should have been is invalid. Instead of editing to add your wish, you must make a second comment before someone else realizes, and posts, that you failed to have a wish.
Quote from: billycop32 on June 01, 2016, 05:57:03 PM
looks like you forgot your wish bro, so i'll do it for you.
I wish that Louis would remember to follow the rules.
Louis remembers to follow the rules all the time, but not most rules, only the rules of grammar and becomes the worlds largest grammar Nazi to ever prowl the internet. some people even use him to check their school papers before they turn them in as he spends most his life making sure he follows the rules of English and that everyone else does too.
I wish i was more motivated to actually write my stories i write instead of just saying ill do them another time
wish granted!However now your stories consume your life. you are unable to do anything but eat,sleep, or work on the stories. the result is that you become super rich and popular in the book world but now you have no social life to speak of, not to mention you haven't played a single day of rimworld sinse your wish was granted.
I wish that my sister would learn some manners.
She dose, But they Are Martian Manners And She Eats You.
I wish This Wasn't A Copy Of A Thread Of The Same Name On The KSP Forums.
granted. now the Kerbal Space program forum doesn't exist-or the game for that matter. you are doomed to be the only one who remembers the game ever existed, and unable to get it restored.
I wish for tyran to give away some rimworld keys as a steam release promotion.
(EDIT: FYI i already have a copy of rimworld, this is just a passing idea)
Your wish is granted. However, they keys he gives out are rimworld-themed toy keys, and don't actually do anything other then look cool. And he accidentally sends you a few thousand truckloads of them. Oh well.
I wish I had the amazing ability to amazingly preform the amazing act of amazingness.
Your wish has been granted. However you act of amazingness is so amazing that you disrupt the Space - time continuum causing rimworld to seize existing(because all uncorruptable wishes can be corrupted through the space - time continuum)
Wish granted. It's stuck on your neck.
I wish for a mandatory 100% tax for recreational drugs.
Wish granted. The genie is invisible, and you thought the wish didn't work, so you wished again and got arrested for breaking genie law.
I wish for a laptop.
Quote from: Xaiver010 on July 13, 2016, 12:55:13 PM
Wish granted, But the laptop is now your literal lap top.
Now your crotch is a computer.
Hey, cool! I can play with myself in more ways than ever!
Granted ! You get mettaton's leg.But you've seen that Patrick and Bob already have them.Also your leg's was installed in reverse.
I wish I was not alway embarrassed
You are now Yung Venuz.But you are condamned to death.You were accused of being a illuminati.
I wish to dont have to do a wish
Not even if I do a wish that I want to eat wish ?
Wish Granted !You have now Woshua from undertale.But you sadly transform into Aaron.Then,A weird music play and Woshua get away.He was the only one loving you.Poor you.He was also the one cleaning you,so you are alway dirty and creepy in the same time.
( Cant do a wish )
Wish Granted, but unfortunately everyone remembers to wish. As a result, wars start over people who wished to be rulers, genocide is committed by racists, the entire earth goes into pandemoneon until someone wishes it away.
I wish i got an A in english
Your wish is granted, and you have an A in English, but you need an A+ to not repeat the grade, but you would have anyways since you got E's in every other class!
I wish to be a level 20 modder and artist like Skullywag and Shinzy!
You got your creative wishes, but that wish was for the entire world to become made of dildos and coffee. Your other wish was for $0.69
I wish to have self confidence and not become depressed over stupid things people say.
Quote from: Xaiver010 on July 23, 2016, 03:56:27 PM
Now you not longer stupid people say, You see only people say stupid!
I wish reverse wish this last.
Granted, but your lack of grammar in your post means the wish does nothing, and you get a D-
I wish people took criticism, rather than getting depressed about it.
Wish granted ! People now are extremely annoyed about it and each time,they do in a rampage and kill minimum 100 person.All the human kill theirself in few minute.Only few survivor survive and do battle of critizim.
I wish you remember me,ppcamcord,from steam and that you dont be mad at me
Wish granted, Rimworld as a game progressively disappear... as Rimworld 2 popularity skyrocket.
I wish for the best wish that could ever be granted to be granted.
Wish granted ! You have the best wish that could every be granted to be granted.You are a potato.Rotting.Dying.Thats the best for you
I wish to be dat boi.
A wish bish does kish you. She kishes you all over. She accidentally brushed upon a cut on your forearm. You contract HIV. You die.
I wish to be Iron Man.
Wish granted
You are a large gold sculpture with +1000 beauty, among a dead colony with nobody left to see you. Furthermore, Mechanoid are destroying stuff and scavenging raw material, you are next.
I wish to stop being a potato and for everybody on Earth to be fully aware of the danger of Dihydrogen monoxide.
Wish granted. You germinated, and with people stopping DHMO usage, you withered and died.
I wish the the flatearther would learn their wrongs.
The flat-earthers are no more! Every thing they have has been taken over by a new, equally crazy phenomenon: The meteorthers. But this time, they're right. Here comes the meteor!
I wish Qui-Gon Jin didn't die in Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Wish Granted,
Qui-Gon jin is now the main character of the next "Star Wars Holiday Special 2", wish is just as good as the first one. You shortly end your life after seeing it.
I wish I had a TARDIS and knew how to operate it.
Yes, your wish is granted! You are bestowed upon a huge Tardis, which you know how to operate. The only trouble is, it's on the moon! People finally realised how terrible Doctor Who is ans exiled anything to do with it off the face of the earth.
I wish to be able to mod :(
Quote from: Xaiver010 on August 07, 2016, 04:51:30 AM
You're now able to mod, But only in .JAR and very simple mechanics that only add a single block texture.
I wish I could find undertale ERPers
All of them are dead or worse, necroposters.
I wish to bring life to this thread again.
Your wish is granted and the thread is given a another chance at life. Unfortunately everyone that replies afterwards just starts shitposting.
Ahem.
i wish u casuls notice mah epicly gr8 1337typing skillzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!1! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDddddDDDlol pwnedFTW ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)Xx_420blazeitfagget_xX( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Wish granted, you... get a nightmare of time gone by, whatever that mean.
I wish people only made perfectly understandable wish.
Your wish is granted. It's perfectly understandable if you speak R'lyehian. Unfortunately you don't. You immediately go insane on your first attempt to try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish dad was here.
Quote from: A Friend on January 29, 2017, 10:47:28 AM
Your wish is granted. It's perfectly understandable if you speak R'lyehian. Unfortunately you don't. You immediately go insane on your first attempt to try.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish dad was here.
Dad is here. He says good morning every day and kisses you on the head. He looks at your mother, pained deeply with the knowledge that you can no longer see him...
I wish Everton could be a much better team, all the time
Wish granted, Evertonis now a much better team, a cricket team.
I wish for people to have no difficulty corrupting others' wish.
Granted, your english is perfect. Because that language have died leaving your as the only one still understanding yourself, but how good you do.
I wish Tynan participated to this thread.
Granted Tynan will participate in this thread, but the only problem is that he will do it when deleting this thread...
I wish I were a sentient cat living in a nice home and a nice neighborhood.
I wish I were a sentient cat living in a nice home and a nice neighborhood.
Your wish has been granted, you are now a sentient cat but unfortunately your owner has died and you cant open any doors or windows with your paws, you die a slow death
I wish I had a lovely KFC bargain bucket for lunch
Your wish is granted, but the bucket is full of deadly micro-organisms which slowly eat you from the inside out.
I wish I had the ability to have better friends more easily.
Wish granted, you find great friend very easily, unfortunately to them you are extremely toxic and depressing. All will become mysteriously unreachable or away with airtight alibi (prompting you to more easily find new friends), most will lose all their own friend and a few will kill themselves.
But hey ! Let's be friend !
I wish I could get hired and good at any jobs I wish for
You get so good at them that employers don't let you leave your job, and that eventually leads to them not paying you.
I wish for a more powerful gaming computer.
You have your computer, however the factory put a virus that fries any computer components on start-up.
I wish that the next person to corrupt my wish, doesn't get a corrupted wish. >:D
Granted, my wish won't be corrupted.
I wish for someone to corrupt my wish.
(http://media.giphy.com/media/CfyAyr2uTpSWQ/giphy.gif)
Granted, the loopholes and the destroying of the universe begins. Also sanity ends and we all never exist...
Meanwhile I wish for the end to come soon.
Granted, the end has come. But its so anticlimactic the sequel begins immediately so no ones but you notices.
I wish i wosh i was a fish.
Granted, you are a fish, however you are a shark and are pulled backwards at one point in your life and die.
I wish for a reason to run away.
Granted, you have a reason to run away. But you are now paralyzed.
I wish for wish to stop being granted.
Granted, yet not...
A loop hole occurs again and you instantly stop existing from that time onward. You also get this thread transported to another universe where it hasn't yet been trolled by loopholes.
I wish for a magic hammer that has the power to use lightning, make you fly, and have great consequences when hit upon anything.
Wish granted, that hammer now exist and sit beside you, unfortunately you are not worthy of Mjölnir and cannot lift it or use it in any way. By the way, an angry Norse is knocking at your door.
I wish I had a tamed dragon similar in everything to "Toothless" in that movie.
Granted! You now have a pet dragon that acts and behaves exactly as you expected! Unfortunately, so does everyone else.
They sudden demand for food to feed dragons that eat nearly three times as much as a himan causes worldwide famine and unfortuantely, you are one of the first to starve to death.
I wish i ruled a tropical island nation
granted, but you slowly go insane from loneliness 'cause no one will want to live on your only volcano island. You eventually think the lava is your friend and try to hug it...
I wish for the Norse to go away or get banished somewhere else than in my town.
Granted, the Norse get banished...after taking back his hammer. He also banish you as well from ever returning to your town. (because it turn out he is a pretty important Norse)
I wish I could hug lava with no ill effect.
Wish granted, but after the lava got a hug the water around your island wanted one too and you slowly sink into the Atlantic and suffocate...
I wish for Kegereneku to be saved from his fate.
Your wish is granted. You and Kegereneku switch places. It is your fate instead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish people would return my pen after borrowing it.
Wish granted, but it always ends up in a very sensitive and useful areas on your body. You later die after the 20th borrowing.
I wish my fate was to die old.
Granted, you die old. But it happens immediately as you age the last of your years in the space of a hour.
I wish i was able to talk to my colonist in rimworld.
Granted, but now he becomes sentient in your computer and creates another Terminator timeline...
I wish loopholes never existed.
Granted, now all people enforce ridiculously precise and rigid rules, any rule check take month to do, your next post for example will require you to check every single rules of the forums with for each rule a throughout essay (that must be peer-reviewed) explaining that your post do not break it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for Superman to exist and not see any increase in property damage.
Granted. However, Superman was placed in the foster system and abused in a variety of ways by multiple foster parents. Many of whom have since disappeared.
Rather than being a superhero, Clark Kent has no alter-ego. He's a shy, retiring sort of fellow, works as an elementary school librarian, and goes out of his way to avoid damaging property. For that matter, he avoids making loud noises like sonic booms when he flies. He is charming and well-liked, but his coworkers have long since given up trying to set him up on dates.
He graduated from Smallville U in 2002 with a teaching degree and a library/media endorsement, and spent most of 2003 living in Smallville, substitute teaching but unable to find a full time job. At that time the was romantically involved with Lana Lang, who he had originally met as a child while they were both in foster care. Her death in a car accident in 2004 is what prompted him to move to Metropolis.
Before it was disbanded following the freak weather incident that resulted in their entire senior staff and board of directors being frozen to death... indoors... in July of 2015... the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children reported that child disappearances roughly quintupled in the Metropolis area beginning in 2004; the increase consisting almost entirely of girls under the age of 12. Officially, no evidence has been found, but according to an unnamed source at a local laboratory, several ash piles recovered by investigators have tested positive for human DNA.
------------------
I wish I was an immortal post-singularity consciousness.
Your wish is granted (and I'm impressed by the corruption of my wish), however you have chosen a very very bad "Tier three" deal at "Welcome to life (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IFe9wiDfb0E)"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I mastered deconstructionism (and for the next poster to fully understand my wish)
Your wish is granted, you even become supreme ruler of the Earth with your master power of deconstructionism, however you later find it lonely at the top and become more strict. Your strictness later ends up being your downfall...
One day while at your desk with your mini supercomputer, you get news of a emotion uprising and all the military is defenseless because no one was imaginative enough to protect them from being swayed by hearing. Your army is now under control of the rebels and your defenses are not enough to stop them. You find yourself with two options, either surrender after putting up a hefty fight or to kill yourself in order that no one may accuse you of being wrong (which would mean your master teaching was wrong). You take the easy way out and suicide.
I wish for an easier wish next time.
Wish granted! The next wish you answer will be far easier... so easy in fact you feel bored with how to answer it, forcing yourself to put immense amounts of thought and effort above and beyond what would suffice.
I wish, someone could help me get bionics irl.
Wish granted. I help you get a bionic part. I charge an unfairly large finders fee. The back alley bionics surgeon I hook you up with turns out to be Dr. Heiter from The Human Centipede (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1467304/). Dr. Heiter has decided to make you the middle section of a bionic human centipede. He installs a bionic mouth on you, then bolts it to a Japanese man's bionic rectum.
I wish I wasn't the tail end of that centipede, butt I am. (childish butt pun intended)
Wish granted, you are at the middle of a 20 persons human-centipede.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for the person on this forum using the pseudonym "catter" to be the one granting this wish.
Wish granted.
(http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M72958a09ba6b036f4a03fb7f9bbec0ffo0&pid=15.1)
I wish computers were more deterministic.
Quote from: dv on February 22, 2017, 12:25:20 PM
Wish granted.
(http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M72958a09ba6b036f4a03fb7f9bbec0ffo0&pid=15.1)
I wish computers were more deterministic.
First of all, I am a cat irl
SYYYYKE! but I don't like to blurt that out all the time.
Second, your corruption of that wish was iffy.
Third, your wish is granted and you later find that all you can now do on your computer is run math problems of any sort and doesn't use infinity or dividing by zero.
Fourth, I wish for the memes to go into the deepest part of the internet where it cannot be found.
Your wish is granted. You and all the other memes go into the deepest part of the internet, where you cannot be found. You have a lot of fun there. However, you ultimately decide that, while it is a nice place to visit, you do not want to live there. You return to the regular internet without bringing me any souvenirs, which I resent you for. You could have at least sent a postcard >:(
I wish I had more "mainstream" tastes in pornography.
Your wish is granted, but seeing mainstream is now dying due to a shift in the social balance you become a minority and the majority of people who don't watch it criticize you for being such. You later commit suicide because you get bullied so much and see no reason to keep going. You also add the fact that you didn't get a meme postcard to the list of reasons to die.
I wish all my corruptions would not end with the death of something.
Wish granted! Your corruptiins now bring life to the world! Your world to be precise. Every wish you take on spawns a new creature you feel obligated to describe in detail, every time. Adding each new creature on top of the list.
I wish microsoft wasn't so screwy.
Wish granted. Microsoft suddenly goes out of business. Apple uses this opportunity to ramp up their plans of world domination. They begin by sending a mind control signal through all of their products. The signal causes Apple users to capture and round-up those using other companies' electronics. They are sent to serve Steve "Lucifer" Jobs in Hell. You long for the carefree days of talking shit about Microsoft on internet forums.
I wish I had a hidden power that makes me the perfect assassin and I am recruited by a shadowy organization that pays well.
Granted, your power is so well hidden you don't know what it is yourself but a shadowy organization hired you a mission for which they paid you a large sum upfront : Assassinating the "perfect assassin". You were perfect at it, the police still believe it's a suicide.
I wish I knew how to make my wish corruption-proof.
Wish granted. With the secret knowledge of how to circumvent corrupt-a-wish you instantly go mental insane and claim that the government is a race of lizard people.
I wish I had a nice soft pillow to lay on
Granted. You lay down on the nice soft pillow and it is so comfortable you can't bring yourself to leave it. Ever.
I wish I knew a second language.
Granted, you now know a second language. However, your first language suddenly becomes a dead one and no one knows either your first or second language. You later suicide because no one can tell what you are saying even on forums and in colleges.
I wish for my creatures to go away.
Granted. All creatures go away. Your cats, the birds in the trees, the fish in the sea, every animal on Earth goes elsewhere. On the plus side, this includes the crabs in your pubic hair.
I wish for the unconditional love of my ideal girl.
You get it, but because she is ideal she is imaginary and can only be found in your dreams after crying every night, and as over-passing thoughts every now and again. You always want her to be yours when you think of her, but she will always be just out of reach to reality in your imagination.
Maybe you should start the career of creating a machine that will make your imagination come to life...
I wish for the earthly creatures to come back, but not the creatures that I have to create with every wish.
Wish granted. Every creature on earth who had been away comes back. Unfortunately, they had been on Pluto and are now very dead. Also, they come back one random organism per second and they spawn 5 meters above your head. Most animals are insects, so as long as you keep moving you probably won't be buried in corpses. And I think you will be able to eat them, though I'm no scientist. So it's not all bad.
I wish I could get a good sleep every night.
You get your good sleep every night... FOREVER!!!
(http://natmonitor.com/news/wp-content/uploads/back.jpg)
MUAHAHAHAHA!
I wish to be able to have all those corpses become alive.
Granted. You have gained the spell Raise Dead Animal. Each animal you resurrect will follow you around everywhere and do nothing but attack your enemies, just like in a video game. They don't obey commands, they just follow and attack hostiles. They will eventually die of thirst or starvation, but you can just bring them back to life again. This is a fate worse than death for them, of course. Also, you must not let anyone know about you necromancy or you will be burned alive, or thrown in a river, or whatever your people do about witchcraft. At least you can have your cats again!
I wish I wake up tomorrow to find out this life was just a nightmare.
Your wish comes true, however this is already true of today's world. However you wished for a nightmare so you will get your nightmare. You wake up one morning only to find that you lost your job, all your friends reject you forever for no reason. All the internet changes your account settings and passwords and when you look at it as a guest you are frightened by the posts. You later see the grim reaper and tell him you want to die. He grants your last request and you die, but only to be sent to the worst place to you for eternity.
I wish for my corruptions to be better ending
Granted. You suddenly find yourself in a room you have never seen before. The only familiar sight is the Corrupt-a-Wish thread on the monitor you are sitting in front of. But strangely, you are signed in on the profile "mabor0shi". The truth dawns on you: you have switched lives with some weird guy you kinda know on the internet! You are now a brilliant corruptionist who is great at endings, and super charming and good looking and you have an above average sized penis! You also have a personality disorder and a death wish and you lie about your penis on the internet. Don't forget to take your various pills, or you may become dangerous!
On the plus side, I now have your cats and my nightmare is over. I am starting my new life:Hello, I'm catter. I like making people die and petting kitty cats :)
I wish I didn't insult people so much while trying to be funny. I had to delete a lot from that corruption, because it probably seemed cruel.
First: *derp*
Second: Ouch!
Third: Your wish is granted you don't insult people, however you are now a psychopath and you tell people a compliment before killing them very gruesomely. In fact you are a grue from the computer RPG Zork. Here have a mirror:
(https://www.thezorklibrary.com/history/image/grue2.jpg)
I wish to back to my old self again.
Wish granted, you are transformed into your old self, from a past life. You were a fisherman and you have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at that time and place.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish people took no pleasure at corrupting wish.
Wish granted, no one takes pleasure in corrupting wishes, but they do like making fun of you and bullying you because you wished that. You eventually disown humanity and become a hermit. You stay out too late one night and get eaten by a grue being told that you are very smart. That very same night mabor0shi gets very full from eating that grouchy person in the woods.
I wish to be back in my own time.
lol
Granted. You are back to modern times. You are
still a fisherman and you have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at
this time and place. Your ancient commercial fishing methods are of little to no value now. You say
Quote from: catter
I wish to back to my old self again.
You are then transformed into your old self, from a past life. You have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at that time and place. Then you say
Quote from: catter
I wish to be back in my own time.
You are stuck in a wish loop for all eternity, always confused and wishing for things to be different. Good news, you get to live forever.
I wish people were more impressed with my corruptions.
Granted, people are more impressed by your corruptions, all good one get you praised beyond reason, all bad one get you hated beyond reason.
Thing is, people tend to only remember their bad experience... like your slightly disappointing last post you f*cking shit, why did you have to ruin my day with a post so bad? I HATE YOU!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for mabor0shi to die.
Your wish is granted, however because you granted his wish and you share a life bond with him, so you die with him. You both find it very intolerable in hell now-a-days, you both have to share an apartment together with no contact to the outside world for eternity.
I wish to be out of my never ending loop.
Quote from: catter on February 25, 2017, 02:28:38 PM
I wish to be out of my never ending loop.
Granted. You exit
your never ending loop and enter the apartment of Kegereneku where he lives with mabor0shi in a loop of their own, in which every day is the same circular argument about who is to blame for them being in hell and who's turn it is to do dishes. Now that you're here, you are the new guy so you have to do the dishes. There is no water in hell, so you will have to lick them clean. Good news, they aren't very dirty because there's never anything to eat in hell.
I wish for a cold strawberry-banana milkshake.
Granted, however a heated dispute between Kegereneku and catter about the risk of going overboard with private and self-referential humor led your milkshake to be spilled all over the unwashed floor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for all further wishes to be understandable without needing to look for previous post.
Granted, but anyone who does look at your latest post can't understand it now, that is because when you try to project your thoughts from this hellish apartment you create very garbled posts on all threads. You can wish as much as you want now, but no one can here you besides us in your apartment. After a while of listening to your thoughts being projected, mabor0shi and I get sick of it and get into a really big fist fight of you versus mabor0shi and me. You should have stayed quiet and accepted that you will stay here FOREVER!
I wish to be able to go back to the real world by just opening a door and going through it.
granted. The door to the apartment is now unlocked and leads to the real world. mabor0shi opens it, then walks out with Kegereneku. Kegereneku shuts the door behind them, because he forgot about you, since you had yet to be mentioned in the current post. You are a cat, so you cannot re-open the door.
I wish for Tynan to post in Count to 9000 thread.
Granted, Tynan will eventually post in the "Count to 9000" thread, however he will do it using another secret pseudonym so you'll never see him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I was unbeatable in any fight.
Granted. You are now the world's greatest martial artist, an expert marksman, and you have every ability Superman does. You also have a very large body that barely fits through doorways. You are covered in spikes & scales. When children see you, they cry for days. Old men shit their pants when they cross your path. Your naked body would make any woman vomit. You are a hideous monster and nobody loves you. Townsfolk form a mob and attempt to chase you away. A bloodlust overtakes you and you slay them all. You weep as you feast on their corpses, for now you know that they were right about you. You are an abomination! You try several ways to kill yourself, but you are invincible.
I wish for a good day today.
Your wish is granted, you have a really good day. However, on the next day you have a really bad day. First you wake up only to find that you are in a really hot room, then you remember me and the apartment of hell. You soon realize that you are back in it. As you look around for me, you find only an empty spot where I usually lay down. You then realize that you and I had switched spots where you are stuck in the hell apartment and I am free in the real world.
I wish for a plane ticket back home.
Granted! Your plane ticket will take you on a direct no-stop flight back home! The captain assures you that there will he no distractions as there will be no other passengers so you can relax.
However, your plane trip takes you staright home, like a turbine powered lawn dart the captain takes you-and the whole plane, straight into the house.
The crash is on the news that night and as you are taken to the hospital you are told insurance won't cover "acts of genie corruptions".
I wish i was a free genie.
Granted, you are considered a genius in the art of flower-arrangement, a conventional non-magical genius of course. You are also free to exert your art any way you want, thought you live in a flowerless desert.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I had a "bag of holding" made real.
Quote from: Barazen on February 28, 2017, 04:51:03 PM
I wish i was a free genie.
Quote from: Kegereneku on February 28, 2017, 05:06:49 PM
Granted, you are considered a genius
something lost in translation here?
wish granted. You receive a Bag of Holding. You open it up and you are sucked inside! It wasn't a regular Bag of Holding it was a Bag of Devouring (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bag_of_holding#Cursed_bags)! You have been transported to another plane, which is what Wikipedia says happens in such cases. You find yourself in a very familiar apartment with a sink full of dishes and no running water, but your friends aren't here anymore. You are all alone in the hell apartment, Kegereneku. It's from a previous post, which you hate. You poor thing :'(
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I wish I was a normal person.
I see nothing lost in translation. Genie don't only refer to the wish granting spirit. A genius person is also a definition of genie. And you didn't precised if you were a genie of something in particular so I chose one in particular. But I did had second thoughts later about a better idea.
Aside : wish granted, you are seen as a normal person... as seen by a remote undeveloped tribes who never had any contact with other humans, cultures or technologies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't wish anything
Kegereneku... you cant be corrupted like that! Now you sit in the corner and think about what youve done! And no dessert for you!
WISH PEOPLE WISH!
Ok you don't wish, but you hope that the thread will go away and this thread soon changes its name to Corrupt-A-Hope where people hope for something and it gets corrupted. Unfortunately one hope of you being alive was put on this thread, corrupted, and the corruption came true. You find a double of yourself in the apartment. You soon learn what it is like to live with yourself, an awful tragedy! :'(
I wish for ten thousand USD to pay for my medical bills and building another small house.
Quote from: Kegereneku on March 01, 2017, 04:35:25 PM
Aside : wish granted, you are seen as a normal person... as seen by a remote undeveloped tribes who never had any contact with other humans, cultures or technologies.
didn't wish to be
seen as normal. wished to
be normal.we are friends, so i'll forget this mess. get your shit together, dawg.
granted. you receive 10 racks of dat paypa $$$$$$$$$$. it is in a duffel bag. when you open it, red dye sprays on your face. it's stolen money! you're blinded and before you can escape, the FBI has followed the GPS tracker hidden in the money stacks and you are arrested for bank robbery.
all other evidence shows it wasn't you that did the bank heist, so your lawyer manages to get you found Not Guily. however, you spent much time in jail awaiting trial, during which your innocence was stolen by the inmates and you have become a true criminal. you turn to a life of petty crime to pay off your lawyer.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
i wish Kegereneku would return to his former glory as a great corrupter and stop being an insane person.
Wish granted, he becomes his true self and corrupts perfectly. But he has an issue with his double and doesn't have time to post any real good corruptions, he can corrupt in an insane way though!
I wish to be innocent again.
Wish.... granted.
You catter, are now perfectly innocent in every sense of the word. So innocent you grow bored of the place you live and wander off on your own to have an adventure.
The police still search for you to this day.
I wish i lived in the fallout commonwealth.
Granted, but you are a Child of the Atom, and you slowly succumb to radiation poisoning.
I wish Bidets were commonplace in American bathrooms.
Granted, however for some reason washstand become incredibly rare in American bathrooms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last time I didn't made a wish so someone else would, but now I'm wishing for NOTHING !
wish granted. nothing happens. it is uneventful.
i wish people would stop trying to be clever with their wishes
Granted, you soon leave in order to get away from plain, boring wishes that have no character to them because no one wants to be clever enough to make creative wishes. You later try to make it creative again, but you die and end up meeting Kegereneku's double who hasn't seen anyone since a year ago. Even the double is unbearable in the hell apartment.
I wish I was found alive.
(As a side note, I also hope for people to stop constraining other people's wishes)
Your hopes go unnoticed, but your wish is granted. You are found alive and guilty of first degree murder for killing mabor0shi over creative differences. You are sentenced to death and executed by firing squad. Once again, you arrive at the hell apartment with your tail between your legs. Kegereneku's double starts picking on you right away, because you invented him and he hates himself. He tries to give you a swirly, but there is no water in the toilet. It is hell, after all.
;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)
I wish to be more comfortable around other people.
Wish granted, however you find people boring now when you used to find people annoying. You then try to be recreational but there is nothing to create with besides your hair and clothes. Everyone in the hell apartment now won't come near you or look at you unless it is important. A cameraman sometimes comes over to visit and take tapes of you. Your image gets put into some people's nightmares...
I wish for the double to be replaced with the original.
Wish granted, however the magical genie granting wish couldn't make sense anymore of the more and more complex multi-layered self-cross-referenced private jokes and in-the-know need-to-know unspoken time-looping passive-aggressive revenge masquerade that started a forgotten amount of page earlier. So instead he'll accomplish your wish and then kill you using in a cheap way as he couldn't be bothered to only make a strictly literal interpretation of your wish in an amusingly original unexpected way with no added elements : You now have two identical Kegereneku who both believe to be the original, then rock fall and kill everybody.
tl;dr : Rock fall, everybody dies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for the SCP-foundation to finally kill SCP-682 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682)
Kegereneku, that was very funny and I agree. Let's forget the past and start over.
Wish granted: The request to use SCP-689 to execute SCP-682 was granted by ██████. SCP Foundation placed all Class D personnel who were exposed to SCP-689 into SCP-682's containment chamber along with SCP-689 itself. The lighting at [the location] was turned on and off intermittently until all parties within the chamber were deceased. However, one of the Class D personnel received warning from [Level 2 staff member] in advance and escaped. [Level 2 staff member] falsified information on [3 documents] to show that [escaped Class D] had not directly observed SCP-689. Appropriate consequences were enacted upon [Level 2 staff member]. [Escaped Class D] fled the facility, traversed the no-man's-land, and entered into [nearby residential zone] before having both kidneys and heart implode. A civilian (dubbed Subject K) discovered SCP-689 just before it was destroyed by [field agents] pursuing [escaped Class D]. Destruction was achieved from a distance of 20 meters. [Field agent] used ██████ successfully to melt SCP-689. Subject K has been detained indefinitely for observation to help determine whether SCP-689 was fully neutralized. As of [now], Subject K is currently undergoing extensive testing under the supervision of Dr. ██████.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I wish Kegereneku hadn't made me research his bizarre fantasy world in order to grant his wish, because these obscure-referencing wishes (like the Bag of Holding I had to research before) are a pain in the ass.
Wish granted, but you now forget who you are and you have to research who you were before you forgot about yourself. You eventually give up and begin a new life where you don't ever enter this forum again. Guess I'm alone once again in the hell apartment... :'(
I wish for mabor0shi to join me in the apartment.
Wish granted, marb0shi suddenly appear with you in the apartment, however that joke was already boring three page ago and nothing funny result of granting it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for mabor0shi to get a cold but edible strawberry-banana milkshake and the opportunity to savor it for his throughout effort at analyzing others' wish. Sincerely I expected you to cut to the point rather than roleplay the point.
Wish granted, he gets a strawberry-banana milkshake and savors it, only he must savor it no matter what the toppings. The toppings are many disgusting things I pulled out of the trash.
I wish we could be more creative.
Wish granted, you are more creative in a way akin to Salvador Dali or Picasso, few are the people who can even begin to comprehend what your strange surrealistic prose and alien syntax actually mean. Some Art Major would say that your style have evolved beyond the inner contradiction of the self and the shelf to a minimalist approach stripped of Ego (and soul).
But everybody else have no clue and just laughed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I was a good cook.
(first: WHAAAAAAAAT? I said we... not me)
(second: ) Granted, you are now a great cook, but you die one day because of a war that you enlisted in for some reason. Now the only thing you can do is join the torture squad in your hell apartment.
I wish to be tortured.
(first: I, too, read it as me, not we. Should he correct his corruption?)
(second): Wish Granted. Kegerenku takes the torturer job, because it pays well and he doesn't give a shit about you. His torture of choice: tickling. At first, you find it disgusting and creepy. As the days wear on, you start to like it. You develop a Tickling Fetish. "It is so good to laugh from the touch of another person! Such pure joy!", you think. Even Kegerenku starts to enjoy it. In fact, the two of you grow to have romantic feelings for each other. But, you are ashamed of your burning desire for each other's bodies, because of the homophobic society you live in. Plus, the whole thing is really weird and you both know it. catter plays dead to stop the torture and Kegerenku thinks catter has been tickled to death and in a moment of guilt and despair, he abruptly kills himself with the feather duster he was using. catter is still tied to Kegerenku's bed and can't suicide or prevent himself from starving to death.
/||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||\
I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.
Quote from: mabor0shi on March 07, 2017, 08:50:50 PM
I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.
Granted! You get out of your flat and wander into a mall, where a huge fire breaks down and you get grilled in a toilet.
I wish that people could get to Mars in next year
Quote from: RyanRim on March 08, 2017, 06:41:01 AM
Quote from: mabor0shi on March 07, 2017, 08:50:50 PM
I wish the Hell Apartment would burn up. Without me in it.
Granted! You get out of your flat and wander into a mall, where a huge fire breaks down and you get grilled in a toilet.
I wish that people could get to Mars in next year
Granted, except it turns out to be an elaborate setup the scale of the truman show
I wish political correctness could die in a fire
Granted, you now live in a world that do not enforce the slightest protection for FACTS, TRUTH or freedom of thought. Fascist, racist, misogynist, transphobe, social Darwinist, eugenicist, religious fundamentalist, internet troll and plain dumbass are now left unchecked and the next Hitlers are already rising up to power and already started subjugating by force people who think differently than themselves and killing people who merely seek the truth. The truth is now a fable for all you'll find are fake-news made by cult-leader, propaganda or plain social engineering.
Without anything like truth and justice around you are soon locked-in a cage because someone claimed you were an autist with inferior genetic & prone to emotional tantrum (you protested, ready to prove that it was false but someone shouted louder than you and nobody cared anymore). As you wait to be sold like a slave (because pro-slavery isn't censored anymore) you see burning the last remnant of "political correctness" : Books about "fact-based reporting" and "setting aside your irrational prejudice for social justice".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish for this thread to become a safe place for everybody to have fun. (this one is served to you on a silver platter)
Quoteno protection for facts, truth, freedom of thought
So the very basis of logic was abritrarily plucked from existence? I must admit you are creative...
Granted, but "fun" includes teasing people for politically incorrect things, and ability to discuss anything, regardless if its offensive, so long as no threats or slurs are used.
Basically, if you aren't having fun, you are free to leave ;D
I wish for a dish of fish so delish!
Granted, a dish of delicious fish are served to you on a silver platter, however some Creationist appear and claim that those fish are fake made by Darwinist (edit: because of vestigial leg, happy?). You try to ignore him and eat but he accuse you of trying to hide the evidences and take the dish from you. You call him a thief but "random stranger" get in your ways to tell you to stop suppressing discussion.
You never get to actually eat it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I wasn't so tempted to have this kind of fun with you. (Last time I swear)
Granted, but it is a difficult road to pull away from being malicious and overly tribal in the face of logic. The pathway to enlightenment is open, but I'll be damned if its not an impressive hike up there. PREPARE FOR METAPHORICAL BLISTERS AND SORE LEGS!
I wish you might stop straw-manning differing opinions (Seriously, I've never heard a single creationist say fish were fake.. ...bible acknowledges fish)
EDIT : if the fish was GMO, and made by a Darwinist scientist, wouldn't the creationist be correct?
Hush, my fault it was too easy. Please reserve your righteous rant for others topics.
Also, the magical genie bureaucracy lost you last wish and couldn't process it, but offer you a new one for free*. I swear I won't be the one answering it.
*See Condition of Utilization
Wish Granted: You... wat?
Ok, he gets his free wish, but then it gets corrupted by you because you can't help yourself. Genie rule No. 1: You gave the wish, you grant it. This rule is brought to you by the Disney Corporation and all its products and creations.
I wish the rules of magical wish granting and corrupting didn't apply to me.
Wish granted: A new, even stricter set of rules is applied to you. You are given a list of acceptable wishes and corruptions, which you must adhere to under penalty of becoming like mumblemumble. You are even assigned a specific genie: (https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/42/Genie_in_a_Bottle.png) However, one of the wishes allowed to you is to go back to the normal rules and regulations.
I wish we would go back to the time before Hell Apartment.
Wish granted, but you've been sent back to a time before there was space. And were crushed smaller than the size of an atom.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish for 1+2 to equal 3
Granted, but there ends up being a very messy tear filled paternity battle first, and intense mistrust of the woman
I wish I knew what hells apartment was.
Wish granted: You learn about the Hell Apartment. The knowledge is simultaneously so boring and so disturbing, your mind makes it into a repressed memory. You can no longer remember the pile of wishes upon wishes inside of wishes that are call-backs to previous wishes attempting to undo other wishes which brought about the Hell Apartment scenario. Neither can anyone else, because we are in a time before it happened. For the rest of your life, you are plagued by an image of Kegereneku tickling catter in front of a sink full of dishes, but you can't remember why.
I wish for this to be the last mention of the Hell Apartment.
Granted...for the next sentance.
then its mentioned again.
Seriously wish I knew what hells appartment is, google wasn't conclusive.
Plzkthnx
Granted, thanks to a pm informing me, but it wasn't as interesting as I hoped, and now I look like an asshole for double posting.
:(
I wish I had chameleon like skin to change races
Granted, but every time you use your ability, it causes excruciating agony, and it makes you more and more hideous and grotesque until nobody can bear to look at you. It's also extremely sensitive, to the point where the slightest breeze feels like a hail of knives.
I wish I could find all the stuff I lose on a daily basis.
Granted, but all of it is found by tripping over it when near crosswalks or stairs, followed by a 20 second period of paralysis. On the bright side, you learn to track stuff better.
I wish rimworld v17 had z levels, yet was just as efficient due to tynan finding GROSSLY inefficient coding.
Granted, but rimworld only runs on Windows ME.
(I would be entirely okay with that corruption, you have no idea how frustrating it is to lose the amount of stuff I do. Usually I end up with a lot more than 20 seconds down the drain and a scrape by the time Ive found something)
I wish I had access to a form of food that had all of the nutrients I need for the day.
Worth it, considering digital machines, and the possibility of source ports eventually. I get the impression tynan might, EVENTUALLY, make rimworld open source...but thats just a hunch.
Granted, but soy-lent green is people. SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!!!!!
Error 404: Wish not found
I've had some dodgy MREs, I have no doubt that there is worth things than people in some of them.
I wish this wish to be corrupted somehow, and to get me a pizza.
Wish granted you get a pizza. The toppings are as follows:
You
You
You
You
You
You
2You and You
Oh yes and...
YOU!
Too bad you will never eat it because it is made of you and you can't eat yourself with out pain. >:D
I wish to be back to my own modern time where I can live in peace.
wish granted: I don't know where you have been, but now you have returned to modern times. It is very peaceful, because nobody else is there. The rapture has happened, just as the Holy Bible says. Everybody has all either been sent to the Hell Housing Projects or they went on home to Jesus without you. They don't even miss you, because Heaven is so badass and people in hell have a lot to worry about. God has abandoned you. You are alone.
I wish I could stay home tomorrow and not have to do anything.
Wish granted, except that your house is engulfed by a hundred thousand tons of chicken turd.
I wish I had something to eat
(Literally seconds before you posted, I was about to reply, our wishes were identical. Kinda a neat thing.)
Quote from: Facepunch on March 09, 2017, 01:15:10 AM
Wish granted, except that your house is engulfed by a hundred thousand tons of chicken turd.
I wish I had something to eat
(Literally seconds before you posted, I was about to reply, our wishes were identical. Kinda a neat thing.)
{I literally can't believe that. Yes, I'm calling you a liar. That coincidence is bologna, sir.}
Wish granted. You are transported to the middle of my
🐓 turd pile and must eat your way out.
I wish I had 1 billion U$D in gold.
Quote from: catter on March 08, 2017, 10:54:06 PM
Wish granted you get a pizza. The toppings are as follows:
You
You.. ...underestimate my pain tolerance. I could take a taste.
Granted, but to get it, you must get it installed as a golden tooth, then yank it out without anesthesia. Your dental care for this is free, mind you, but you must pluck out every tooth to get all the gold.
I wish they would reboot x-com ufo defense and NOT have the mechanics watered down like in xcom 2012. Seriously guys, the original was better =(
[/quote]
You.. ...underestimate my pain tolerance. I could take a taste.
Granted, but to get it, you must get it installed as a golden tooth, then yank it out without anesthesia. Your dental care for this is free, mind you, but you must pluck out every tooth to get all the gold.
I wish they would reboot x-com ufo defense and NOT have the mechanics watered down like in xcom 2012. Seriously guys, the original was better =(
[/quote]
Granted (theoretically), but the new system moves like Resident Evil in 10FPS
I wish that oceans would vaporize and create more rivers in other places.
(resident evil at 10 fps)
... ...Worth it
Granted, but the river floods over JUST your house, and fills the ocean again in hours.
Psst. You forgot to make a wish. Again.
I wish I remembered to make my damn wishes.
Granted, you will always remember that. ALWAYS. You will be checking every 5 minutes wether or not you did it, stopping whatever you are doing doubting whether or not you did it.
Mumblemumble, I think you might be interested by Xenonaut (in case you don't already know)
Aside, to be fair the original X-COM was extremely flawed on many aspects (Difficulty is one things, chance-based Trial&Error is another) It was the norm before (all-or-nothing AI, easy exploit...etc) but nowadays we prefer easier more organic gameplay. I'm NOT defending the watering down, just saying at least they made it much more stable. Plus several mods get you close to what it was before.
I wish for all "Early-Access" games to be developed faster, with no loss in quality or negative consequences for their developers.
I see where you are coming from, but I kinda like a little murphies law, that the old game brings
Sure, a rocket into your craft can instantly end a mission, but thats part of the fun, is surviving, despite knowing how much can possibly go wrong.
But really, openxcom extended + enables all kinds of new stuff.
....and to be fair, many of these risks can be mitigated, just like in rimworld.
Granted, but SJW's and such find something to nitpick over, and shit on the entire "early access" gerne. Nothing bad happens, but you are forced to endure every SJW talking about how early access games are about white privilege, even if you aren't white. Theres also a good chance you get called a bigot for liking indie games.
I wish for a woman of beauty, intelligence, loyalty, whom matches my ethnicity and faith, and will bare healthy children, while working hard for our family.
Eh! That's fair. I guess I fired that first shot. But let's avoid going into barely disguised political rant and...
...sh*t, that's what you give me to work with ?
Well, someone please tell me if you saw another to corrupt his wish. To me a corruption have to subvert the main theme of your wish, in this case : compatibility with you, and since you closed all door but the political one.
The most neutral I can do is :
"Wish granted, however she is your SISTER. She will bear healthy children from someone else and work hard for your family (your parents and you and her, their childs)"
If you want to inflict more on yourself, bellow are my discarded idea ;D
"while she share the same faith, she have completely opposite opinions to yours, for example she consider that transgender shouldn't face any discrimination and go in any gendered-bathroom that fit their new appearance), things that does not conflict in any way with her faith.
She share all your personal flaws, for example she believe in "alt-fact" stories and "suppressed theory" found on the internet (akin to the secret existence of "Free Energy engine") in particular things that you consider yourself to be bullshit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish people were less likely to be triggered.
Granted : However, this change means theres a political change where politcal correctness dies off in favor of examining objective truths, no matter how offensive or grim. Thankfully, people still realize murder is generally bad, objectively, and it leads to society working better. Religions work together, using their strengths and weaknesses to help each other, as do races, and the sexes, and everyone who was offended over anything they had even a shred of control over, ends up owning up to it and changing it.
Over the course of 5 years, drugs fade out of circulation, sex becomes less premiscuous, black communities heal, transgenders push to embrace a new way of life in favor of being part of something bigger, and SJW's end up realizing they were just a bit silly.
How is this corrupted?...well.. .. I guess people being accountable for their actions, and wanting criticism is corrupted.
Essentially everyone becomes wise.
I wish valve would release halflife 3, except its a turn based tactical simulator similar to xcom, just to fuck with people.
wish granted
valve releases halflife 3, except its a turn based tactical simulator similar to xcomand it "fucks with people". Most of all, you. Everyone hates the game and that Valve burned so much time working on it so that it will be another few years til HL4 comes out. HL3 is a steaming pile of shit, because it was made "just to fuck with people" and the information is leaked that it's all a result of your wish. Anonymous Half-Life fanboy hackers target you and make you miserable.
I wish for politics and social commentary to be left out of this thread (if you want to talk politics, go to the Fox News or Huffington Post forums or something) without having any effect on anything else.
Granted, albiet your push is what causes tyranny to spread. Political talks are outlawed, and as laws are made more crazy, anyone who speaks out is jailed for "bringing up politics". Slowly, people are oppressed, first alt right and christian, then the working class, then everyone. Gun control takes guns away from everyone but police and gangs, and the combination of the 2 end up ruling the masses with an iron fist.
I wish ketchup no longer was just mostly sugar, and was actually the awesome condiment it USED to be.
Wait, ketchup is now mostly sugar?
(http://www.spousebuzz.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Blue-YDU_opt.png.png)
I now won't ever have ketchup ever again! (Even though I didn't like it anyways)
Granted, ketchup is now an awesome condiment used by everyone, now the mustard business is shrinking to nonexistence. Later a rebellion starts over whether mustard is better or ketchup. This slowly turns into a war where you suddenly get killed just for picking up a ketchup jar in a diner. The world soon finds a reason to start WWIII. Thanks for ruining my life and lunch bro! >:(
I wish to be back in 2017.
Fucking lol
To be fair, mustard is still great, even cheapo mustard....but old ketchup DID used to be pretty much a vegetable serving BEFORE the condiment was changed so damn much.
And as for not liking ketchup, you never had the old type, most likely, so how can you say.
...Granted, but since 2017 is already here, you just wasted your wish like a jackass
I wish the tribals of sambia new guini would stop assaulting their boys...
granted= The tribals of Sambia begin assaulting their girls instead of their boys. The situation there actually improves, albeit only slightly. However, now it becomes a big news story and a lot of new facts turn up. You learn some things that make you regard those tribals as heartless savages. You accidentally say this in public, where someone hears you and they call you a racist. You insist it's about culture, not race, and a crowd gathers as you argue. Someone throws a bottle of corn-syrup catsup and a riot breaks out. You are beaten to death by hippy pinko liberal lefties, just like in that recurring nightmare you had going a few years ago.
I wish i had a sex robot, like the guy in Ex Machina (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0470752/).
Granted, but the pressure and speed calibrations are off by a 0, and you get your penis violently ripped off. You then have to have an in depth court interview as to why it happened.
I wish more games had the tough times / great victories setup that rimworld and xcom has
LoL ;D Good to know you are not as sensitive/easily offended as you led me to believe.
granted: All games are much more like RimWorld and XCom. Most people turn to video games for mindless fun, so the industry suffers greatly as a result and there is a huge upswing in the production and consumption of superhero movies. Suicide Squad 2 becomes the highest grossing film of all time and the world is plunged into a new Dark Age.
I wish I could have any video game I want, even the ones that don't exist.
It was mostly because before, you came absolutely out of nowhere with it haha.
It was kinda worrying, and derailing a serious discussion, and this thread is anything but serious.
Granted, but they are all pirated
You have the FBI at your door, not only for piracy, but because other FBI agents came from other demensions to complain about the pirated games, and this interdemensional rift is ALL your fault... You got some explaining to do mister, hope you like waterboarding.
I wish ninjas assassins in Open xcom the xcom files weren't so god damn hard to see. Fucking camo lets them hide right infront of you.
Granted, but now they are a blur of speed and you can't stop them even with the best gun.
I wish I wasn't a jacka$$
Wish granted, you are now longer a jacka$$, just a regular jackass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I stopped being sick today (with no increase of sickness in the future as a consequence)
Granted, your body develops a new immunity tool which makes you violently avoid other sick people, sickening foods, and shitty attitudes, making you feel physical pain if you do something unhealthy.
I wish pewdiepie would buy out MSM
He does, but you later hate his videos because he is always talking about his ownership of MSM and always uses his videos as an ad for MSM.
I wish I were my old self and was back to my own time and went back into my normal life style.
Wish granted, however that old self is still unhealthily obsessed with continuing old gag and beating dead horse despite everybody else having moved on.
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I wish for Epic Rap Battle of History to eventually resurface someday.
Quote from: Kegereneku on March 11, 2017, 03:17:37 AM
continuing old gag and beating dead horse
It's funny because it's true. Also,
gags &
horses
granted: Epic Rap Battle of History becomes super popular. You tell people that you were a fan before it was popular, but nobody gives a shit. A remake starring Justin Beiber is released. It gets played everywhere, all the time. When you say the original is better, people just call you a hipster douchebag. The remake gets so beloved, Beiber is elected President of Canada without even running, then initiates the Beiber Solution program to eliminate people who enjoy the first Epic Rap Battle of History more than his version. Canadian spec-ops hunt you down and strap you to a chair in a bunker in Nova Scotia. They hold open your eyelids and make you watch Beiber propaganda until you like it. It takes a dangerously long time, because you are such a hipster douchebag. You survive, but now can only speak in Justin Beiber lyrics.
I wish for a pleasant surprise!
Granted. You get a pheasant jumping in your face.. ...what, pleasant?.. ...Close enough
I wish I could stop thinking that fallouts lore, with annexing canada, china at war with us, and everything else, stopped seeming so damn reasonable, given reality these days...
Granted, all those things are no longer reasonable and soon disappear into nothingness. It eventually though ends up in total war and no one survives, even the people who lived in the wilderness because that is unreasonable.
I wish for a plan to plan a man who plans plans on a planner with a drawing of a man with a plan of THE plan about a plan to plan out the plan man who plans man into existence.
(If you try to read that and make sense of what I said, please tell me what it is I said. I don't even get what I said!)
Wish granted, alas as you try to follow say plan to plan a man who plans plans on a planner with a drawing of a man with a plan of THE plan about a plan to plan out the plan man who plans man into existence, you eventually get sidetracked in a road shaped like a Möbius strip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish I could travel in the fifth dimension.
Granted: You are allowed to travel in the 5th Dimension on their reunion tour. (http://cps-static.rovicorp.com/3/JPG_500/MI0000/693/MI0000693396.jpg?partner=allrovi.com)
However, you aren't great at singing or playing any instruments, so you have to play tambourine. You don't try hard at first, but you start to like it and really put your soul into that tambourine. Everybody in the 5th Dimension respects you for it, so they let you party with them. At the party, you get pressured into "trippin' into the 5th Dimension", meaning chugging codeine cough syrup mixed with dextromethorphan cough syrup through a beer funnel. You have an out of body experience. It feels so good you decide to never return to your body and you literally put your soul into the tambourine. You are now pretty much a haunted tambourine.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I wish (AGAIN) for a pleasant surprise, not a pheasant surprise (which is not "close enough") or any other such bullshit.
Granted, you get pleasantly surprised by how this corruption will end in flames or pain of any sort. I ends with you turning into a pheasant who yells bullshit.
I wish to be back home.
BULLSHIT! granted: You get to be Back Home.
(http://backhomesings.com/img/The_Best_So_Far_3.jpg)
Your consciousness is split between two people from Tennessee who are married to each other and sing about Jesus a lot. At least you know God loves you and you can get yourself pregnant.
I wish for someone to make another wish that I can corrupt with music ♫♪♫.
Granted, someone is making another wish right now that you can corrupt with music. Somewhere in the world. But you only have until reading my wish to find him or her.
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I wish mabor0shi couldn't corrupt anything with music or reference to music ever again.
♫♪♫BOUM♫♪♫BOUM♫♪♫BADABOUM♫♪♫TCHA !!!♫♪♫
Granted. After this, Mabo can no longer corrupt any wishes at all. Having lost his only creative outlet, he will will turn to drugs for relief from life and eventually die in a knife fight with some other crackhead. This means you lose the only person who really cares about you, the only man to ever love you with all of his heart. How will it make you feel to be truly alone in this world, Kegereneku? You need me! We need each other, bro!
I wish for freedom to corrupt so I don't have to smoke crack.
Wish granted, "Freedom to corrupt" exist solely so you don't have to smoke crack, so every corruption must have for only focus to prevent you from being coerced in any way into smoke crack.
Eventually it give you so much headhache that you smoke crack from your own choice.
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I wish someone invented a free energy generator that can be mass produced and sold cheaply to all humanity in the next year.
Granted. It's invented in China and the government chooses not to sell it cheaply to all humanity, but to help them gain Communist World Domination. The scientist who invents it takes the plans and flees, but is killed in a thrilling hot air balloon crash while flying over the border into Russia. The plans float down to the ground and someone finds it. They get it to the Russian underground revolutionary forces, but when their scientists use the plans to build the Generator, they open up a tiny gravitational singularity that swallows them up. It turns out the type of free energy the Generator makes is Pure Evil and the singularity is a portal to Hell that is slowly growing. The only thing that can stop it is the exact opposite of Evil; the most pure and innocent soul on Earth. That soul belongs to someone named catter. This summer: The fate of all humans lies in the paws of one cat. catter Rated R for feline nudity and animal cruelty
I wish to think up a good wish.
Granted, however you have just made one so you enter your body in the past and live in an endless loop while this cat saves a world of humans. You later learn to regret ever wishing to make better wishes because you already do.
I wish to be no longer a TV star.
Granted, you are now a TV nobody
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I wish there was more than 3 persons participating to this thread.
Your wish is granted there is now 4 people participating in this thread, unfortunately I only corrupt one wish and go back to watching
I wish for my phone screen to be fixed
Granted. Your phone screen is now fixed...in place. Wherever it was when the wish was granted, it will stay at that exact spot forever. And it's still cracked.
🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀
I want to wish for more people to post, too. It's the only wish I've ever seen get IRL results.
I wish for someone other than mumblemumble, Kegereneku, catter, or me to post soon.
Your wish is granted but I only join when you wish for more people which then becomes a massive circle of wishes in which you go crazy and go on a murderous rampage,
I wish for my phone to have a fixed screen and have the ability to now pick it up
Wish granted, your screen is now fully functional and... still fixed to a the wall or the ground. It's connected in a wireless way to the "phone" that you can pick up (which only include audio and a non-screen touchpad).
====================================================================================
I wish I had a hundred 12.4 kg bars of gold that no one but me know about, in a secure place very convenient for me, each of them with proper registration to be sold, all this while their market price is at its highest and unlikely to fall anytime soon.
Wish granted they are now locked in secure vault which only you know about, unfortunately you have forgotten the code and can never get into the vault
I wish for free razor gaming swag
Quote from: Kegereneku on March 17, 2017, 02:42:03 PM
...in a secure place very convenient for me...
Quote from: wafflep90 on March 17, 2017, 04:23:58 PM
...can never get into the vault
I wish for free razor gaming swag
Granted: Here is you, wafflep90, with some of your sweeet Razer (not Razor) swag.
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/proxy/zSL96xL28iJOkMmeIT4ihfdjaG-_1RFzavZcyoq4e8eKoD6mOby13r1uDzsZq0EHrm3Qr9Pa0FlpY0T2O0Pw=w426-h240-n)
Yowza! You look like a pretty hot piece of...oh, no. There has been a terrible mistake. Your face, hair, and hands have become those of a cute Filipina girl, but the rest of you is unchanged. It's
very unsettling. You have such a cute face. I want to kiss you, just once, to see if I like it. No, I can't! It would be wrong, because you are an abomination.
🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹🎹
I wish to wake up tomorrow happy and refreshed.
Wish granted, tomorrow you will wake up unnaturally happy and refreshed. And you will stay like so even if you were to accidentally drop your puppy into a grinder, stub your toes and stub your elbow at the same time. You loose some rationality for that. Also while happiness can be enforced on your mind with a cheap cost for your organism, you'll only feel refreshed until the middle of the day before reality kick back and your body need to rest more.
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I wish for the Ghost in the Shell movie I'll see Tuesday to be very good despite the choice of actress and whitewashing.
corrupt-a-wish is back, yay!
Quote from: Kegereneku on March 25, 2017, 08:36:07 AM
I wish for the Ghost in the Shell movie I'll see Tuesday to be very good despite the choice of actress and whitewashing.
Granted. The
Ghost in the Shell movie you'll see Tuesday is
not the 2017 Scarlett Johansson sci-fi extravaganza. It's the original anime, but the dub version with all white American voices. It has a score on RottenTomatoes.com of 95%, so it is "very good". It's being screened at the best theatre in your neighborhood & you have a free ticket. But for some reason, you don't enjoy it much. Maybe because I'm sitting directly behind you & I keep talking to the characters, like "You go girlfriend!" & "I told you not to trust that bitch!". Also, I laugh at inappropriate times, applaud when something cool happens, throw popcorn at you, and kick your seat repeatedly. I'm
such an asshole, but you are the only one who seems to notice. Towards the end I ask you to "wake me up when this cartoon shitshow is over" & I pass out, which gives you a moment of peace. Then I start snoring. I wake up right at the climactic moment & vomit on the back of your head. I'm so hammered, dude. Sorry, man, can we still be friends, bro?
-+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+--+-+-
I wish my mom's husband would die quietly.
Quote from: mabor0shi on March 25, 2017, 08:29:19 PM
corrupt-a-wish is back, yay!
Granted. The Ghost in the Shell movie you'll see Tuesday is not the 2017 Scarlett Johansson sci-fi extravaganza. It's the original anime, but the dub version with all white American voices. It has a score on RottenTomatoes.com of 95%, so it is "very good". It's being screened at the best theatre in your neighborhood & you have a free ticket. But for some reason, you don't enjoy it much. Maybe because I'm sitting directly behind you & I keep talking to the characters, like "You go girlfriend!" & "I told you not to trust that bitch!". Also, I laugh at inappropriate times, applaud when something cool happens, throw popcorn at you, and kick your seat repeatedly. I'm such an asshole, but you are the only one who seems to notice. Towards the end I ask you to "wake me up when this cartoon shitshow is over" & I pass out, which gives you a moment of peace. Then I start snoring. I wake up right at the climactic moment & vomit on the back of your head. I'm so hammered, dude. Sorry, man, can we still be friends, bro?
I WANT TO KILL YOU SO MUCHAnyway,
Wish granted, he die quietly (you inherit nothing). However, you mom's, facing such grief and feeling of culpability for not preventing it was accosted by a shady man who comforted her, he is somewhat similar to his dead husband (but in your opinion worse), they marry soon after and he start squandering your mom's money, you notice the situation is worse than before, and you regret the dead man.
Also the police is investigating if you have anything to do with your mom's husband death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wish the kind of insufferable person you picture yourself as -in the quote above- were all swiftly thrown out as soon as they bother anyone, all the while without harming movie market in any way, making the ticket price rise, or this rule applying to honest accidents.
Lots of people that get thrown out of the theaters eventually band together and start their own theaters and film companies, except they produce the stupidest, most inane movies ever made. Then they manage to buy or out-compete the other companies, so now all movies are plotless garbage that appeals to rude people.
I wish I had some more model railroad supplies and equipment.
granted. You wake up tomorrow and find that there's a kickass model railroad made with state-of-the-art equipment & supplies already assembled in your biggest room. You start to disassemble it so you can use the parts to do your own thing, but the train set has other ideas. Because it is cursed and haunted. You get sucked into the fantasy train set world, at the back of the mysterious train. Guess what: it's full of zombies and you have to team up with the other passengers to reach the front. You don't know why, because the other passengers are deaf hobbits and you don't know hobbit sign language. Anyways, it turns out the train is a zombie, too, which is mind boggling. And you were a zombie the whole time, but nobody realizes it until you start eating a hobbit baby. Eating a baby was the key to returning to the real world though, so at least there's that.
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I wish I will soon find out I have special powers and I am destined to be a hero, like what happens in way too many stories/anime/movies.
Granted, you gain superpower and become a hero. However your story follow the new trend of deconstructivism : you absolutely HATE having those superpower, you never have any fun, all of the people you care for die because of it. You see coming more trouble ahead of time and the easy method to prevent it, however that wouldn't make you a hero and you are DESTINED to become one, so reality conspire against you and your end up engineering unknowingly the problem. As a result lot of people die but you prevent more death just in time. Doing so cost you any good perk from your power, everything and everyone you love, damage your health irreversibly and rob you of your sanity.
By the way : It will start in 20 minutes so I hope you put your affairs in order.
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.-------------'```'----......,,____ _,
| `'`'`'`'-.,.__ .' (
| `'--._.' )
| `'-. <
\ .-'`'-. -. `\
\ -.o_. _ ; _,-'`\ |
``````''--.._.-=-._ .' \ _,,--'` `-._(
(^^^^^^^^`___ '-. | \ __,,,...--' `
``````````` `'---.._\ |`
`-.,'
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I wish for a paper-made fish to appear taped in the back of every single person in the world except me.
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 01, 2017, 05:35:00 AM
...I hope you put your affairs in order.
LOL
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 01, 2017, 05:35:00 AM
I wish for a paper-made fish to appear taped in the back of every single person in the world except me.
GRANTED-|A paper-made fish appears taped
in the back of everyone in the world but Kegereneku. The fish are parasites connected to the person's spine, just below their necks. They control everything below that point. The host is still in control of their head & vocal cords, so they can cry & scream, which they do. The paper fish take them to China to create a Space Elevator to launch from Mount Everest. When it's finished, they ascend it into space and fire themselves (in their host bodies) at Paper World. Several hundred years later, they arrive and are able to reunite with the rest of the paper fish. No human survives this. Kegereneku is left on Earth with the rest of the animals.
A happy reunion:(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/f5/f5/89/f5f58979154d4b36e6591a67a9dd3819.jpg)A sad Kegereneku:(https://www.repstatic.it/content/nazionale/img/2014/12/23/095605428-2b2787b9-82d4-4b02-bd0d-31adc9743b2b-th.jpg)
I wish all ants would disappear and never be seen again. But not because they go invisible. Don't even think about that. :P
Wish granted, but you destroyed the ecosystem irreversibly. Many plants depended on them for pollination, ants ate a lot of parasites insect, carry seed around, aerate the soils...etc
http://harvardforest.fas.harvard.edu/ants/ecological-importance
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110131133227.htm
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I wish Dark Soul 2 was an easier game and for someone other than mabor0shi (or cater) to participate to the thread.
Your wish is granted, dark souls 2 becomes so easy that all the joy of playing it disappears and it becomes one of your least favourite games, plus everyone that used to enjoy it knows about the wish you made for it to become easier and hunts you down...
(you have about 1 hour before they find you good luck)
I wish for more content for me to read on the forums that I enjoy without losing my vision
/Kegereneku become instantly 100% hollowWish granted, the forum get flooded by irresistible click-bait content like "25 things you'll love knowing" and your vision will stay healthy all along. (your mind however will scream dying prisoner of your body...)
<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
I wish for people to ignore me when I or anyone else wish for specific people not to participate to the thread, and to just keep the topic fun as they wish.
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 03, 2017, 04:47:47 PM
I wish Dark Soul 2 was an easier game and for someone other than mabor0shi (or cater) to participate to the thread.
Catter, wafflep90, and myself co-op wish granting. We nailed that wish.
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 07, 2017, 12:36:50 PM
I wish for people to ignore me when I or anyone else wish for specific people not to participate to the thread, and to just keep the topic fun as they wish.
Granted. People ignore you when you or anyone else
(which is the same as just saying "anyone at all"
) wishes for specific people not to participate. Every time
anyone at all makes that sort of wish,
you get ignored in every way possible. As soon as people realize this, everyone ends their wishes with "and for specific people not to participate in this thread". Even your own mother joins the forums just to make you get ignored. When you realize no one acknowledges you no matter what you do, you start to do increasingly bad things. You become basically a supervillain, committing crimes against humanity. Your supervillain name
would be Ignorance Man if everyone stopped ignoring you long enough to name you. Within a month, you are doing every sin at the same time, just to get God's attention. But even God has turned his back on you, Ignorance Man. If you die, even the gates of Hell won't open for your Dark Soul, because Satan will act like he doesn't notice you. I bet you could sneak into heaven, though. If that happens, there's no telling how powerful you could become.
⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧⛥⛧
I wish that my wish for my cat to be able to talk will be granted in rhymes, like (https://lastfm-img2.akamaized.net/i/u/avatar170s/7d5c85a7f1f4498fa37e24242ff7a3b2)
(I always wanted to be a super-villain! ;D)
I wish that my wish for my cat to be able to talk will be granted in rhymes, like kazam
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Your cats able to talk, but soon lined up in chalk will be your family
such a tragedy, your cat dispatched them happily, and hung em on the wall like a vanity.
I wish for a nice crisp coca cola
Quote from: AjaxTrinity on April 08, 2017, 11:17:15 PM
I wish that my wish for my cat to be able to talk will be granted in rhymes, like kazaam
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Your cats able to talk, but soon lined up in chalk will be your family
such a tragedy, your cat dispatched them happily, and hung em on the wall like a vanity.
I wish for a nice crisp coca cola
Not only did it rhyme, it was gangsta! Like Kazaam. Please do more corruptions. You don't have to rhyme. Unless you want to.
Granted:(http://prettyprettyyumyum.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/greenteacoke1.jpg?w=450&h=600) I have heard it "tastes like waste water". Some people like it, though. Just in case you are one of those people, I shook the bottle up before I gave it to you so that it would spray your face when you opened it.
'`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`''`'`'`'`'
I wish I could turn my sense of smell off and on at will.
your wish is granted, you can now switch your sense of smell on or off at will but unfortunately if you do this all connections to your other senses will also shut down so your now either fully functioning or a senseless husk of a person
I wish for there to be a massive WikiLeaks about all hostile and friendly alien life that the worlds governments know of
Granted. It turns out no government knows anything, although Canada has it's suspicions. jk|| WikiLeaks reveals that
you have been given the ability to transform into any animal you touch and there's a secret alien infiltration of Earth by a parasitic race of aliens resembling large slugs, called Yeerks, that can take any living creature as a host by entering and merging with their brain through the ear canal. WikiLeaks says there's a few others with your same ability.Sure enough, they track you down and recruit you to help fight against the Yeerks.
You call yourselves:
The Animorphs© It's a lot of work and you don't get paid for it. But you get to live out your furry fantasies in your down time, so it has it's perks.
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
I wish my teeth would stay clean and white without needing to be brushed.
Your wish has been granted, but instead of your teeth being in your mouth, they sit in a dentist's office as a desk adornment, they are polished and deep bleached clean as a lie that the dentist uses on new victims patients.
I wish I worked at Bad Dragon.
Quote from: Unit5011 on April 10, 2017, 06:38:45 PM
I wish I worked at Bad Dragon.
LOL why am I surprised that such a company exists?
granted:
:You'll be Junior Assistant Janitor at the Bad Dragon compound (offices, factory, warehouse, and testing facility) until your 5 year contract expires or until the world comes to it's senses and the company goes out of business. It's up to you to clean up the fluids that are left on the floor (and walls and ceiling) and to quietly dispose of the corpses of dragon dildo testers who don't survive.
You'll be making Arizona minimum wage, your fellow janitors don't speak English, and it's about to be hot as hell in Phoenix. On the plus side, it's a "fun & creative" work environment and you get a 30% employee discount.
'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉'`"
🐉I wish I had a HTC Vive or whatever that VR is called and a computer that is more than adequate to use it with. Plus all the games.
Quote from: mabor0shi on April 10, 2017, 06:17:19 PM
Granted. It turns out no government knows anything, although Canada has it's suspicions. jk|| WikiLeaks reveals that you have been given the ability to transform into any animal you touch and there's a secret alien infiltration of Earth by a parasitic race of aliens resembling large slugs, called Yeerks, that can take any living creature as a host by entering and merging with their brain through the ear canal. WikiLeaks says there's a few others with your same ability.Sure enough, they track you down and recruit you to help fight against the Yeerks.
You call yourselves: The Animorphs©(http://thumbs1.picclick.com/d/l400/pict/162078044840_/The-Journey-Animorphs-No-42-ExLib.jpg) It's a lot of work and you don't get paid for it. But you get to live out your furry fantasies in your down time, so it has it's perks.
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
I wish my teeth would stay clean and white without needing to be brushed.
Just saying this is not corrupted I loved this book series XD dream come true
Quote from: wafflep90 on April 11, 2017, 02:14:49 AM
Just saying this is not corrupted I loved this book series XD dream come true
It's your dream for the world to be slowly taken over by mind-controlling aliens slugs while you act as an unknown, unpaid hero(ine) fighting said mind-controlling aliens slugs by turning into animals for an hour at a time? Also, wikileaks has all the information about you, so all a yeerk needs to do is look up wikileaks, find out who you are, track you down, then use you to track down all the others and mind-control the lot of you.
Quote from: mabor0shi on April 10, 2017, 07:55:25 PM
I wish I had a HTC Vive or whatever that VR is called and a computer that is more than adequate to use it with. Plus all the games.
Your wish is granted. However, it turns out you are not very suited to VR games, and every time you use the headset, you will be assaulted by horrible motionsickness and visions of naked dancing leprechaun grandpas.
I wish I had the ability to look into the future.
Thanks for the assist, Allen. I think wafflep90 lacks respect for the sacrifices those brave Animorphs made to protect our freedom. He thinks those books were just a bestiality Kama Sutra, but they were also kinda sad sometimes. Nostalgia clouds his judgement.
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granted: You have assumed the role of Nicolas Cage, a small time magician based in Las Vegas, who has limited clairvoyance - his ability allows him to see into the very immediate future. His gift makes him a target not only of a highly motivated and heavily armed group of terrorists but he's also wanted by the FBI. For more information, see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Next_(2007_film)
Your genie got lazy on that one.
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I wish I got paid extremely well to do this.
Granted, you were paid extremely well to do this, none of the other poster in this topic have ever been paid as much as you were to post stuff on the internet. You were paid so much more than them that it's even impossible to calculate the increase in percentage.
(You were paid one cent)
I wish for a popcorn bucket that is always full of freshly made (and delicious) popcorn no matter how much we consume
gRaNtEd You are inside a popcorn bucket that is always full of freshly made (and delicious) popcorn no matter how much you consume. It's not endless in every direction, so you might be able to swim/climb up and out, but the bucket might have a top on it. The saltiness of the popcorn is contributing to your death by dehydration. Maybe you should stop eating long enough to scream for help.
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
I wish my life had meaning.
granted : the meaning of your life is endless human suffering with the occasional lulz from silly cat videos and then you die. the end.
i wish i was a hot lesbian doing nonstop sexy times with other hot lesbians.
Quote from: keylocke on April 16, 2017, 09:55:02 AM
granted : the meaning of your life is endless human suffering with the occasional lulz from silly cat videos and then you die. the end.
i wish i was a hot lesbian doing nonstop sexy times with other hot lesbians.
dirty wish granted You are an uncomfortably hot lesbian engaging in nonstop sexy activities with other overheated lesbians. The heat is nearly unbearable, but you are compelled to continue doing sexy actions together. It's also uncomfortable because
I am in the corner of the room. I stare at you, make lewd comments & disgusting hand/mouth gestures, and perform unorthodox masturbatory feats of strength and dexterity upon myself.
VvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvVVvVvV
Here's a simple one: I wish I could fly.
Quote from: mabor0shi on April 19, 2017, 06:43:17 PM
Here's a simple one: I wish I could fly.
[/quote]
Wish granted. You can fly like Superman. However, you do not gain the ability to withstand the g-forces and friction that comes with it. You catch fire while testing your powers at high speeds, blacking out from both the pain and the lack of blood rushing to your head. This mercifully happens before you are sucked in through a jet engine.
I wish that I knew what Lost really was about.
Granted, you are now 100% aware of how Entertainment Network ask their script writer to fake cliffhanger and "incredible revelation" to generate audience and money, and painfully aware of how they actively brainwash you into caring for emotional scene that are just copypasted script to them.
As a result you are also painfully aware of how stupid their consider their public to be and how right they are. The knowledge that any new show you start liking could actually be another ploy with a shitty ending to milk your money send you into perpetual depression.
I wish for the corruption of the next corrupted wish to be corrupted.
granting...Ñ╒ÑíÑ╙ÑσÑ7ÿÁk7ÿÃl8É█ñ╧\Ñ╧ÑΩÑ═Ñ║Ñ▀ñ╬ñΦñªñ╦ÿÅ▀n9ÿÆn9ÿ¬O- ÿ™?#ÿq+ÿ▀T! ÿ...3ÿ²U/ÿÿ¼_4ÿ¿▀a5ÿÁa5ÿÄc6ÿÉ▀gΘpÑ╒Ñú/Ñ╙ÑσÑΘ0Ñ╥⌐`«P.ÿ©L-ÿ▀¨K-ÿ—Ñ∞ÑñÑ≤Ñ│⌐`Ñ╚ñ╦ñ╩ñ∞ñ┐ñ╩ñΘB$ÿ¬O.ÿ▀°T0ÿ³V1ÿ³V▀1ÿÁg7ÿÇm9ÿÒ~MÿÐv;ÿ▀Ðu;ÿÑt;ÿ²U/ÿ...3▀¾g4ÿ"?!ÿº\3ÿÑφ⌐`▀ñÑ≤Ñ┐Ñ╙Ñσ}⌐
There has been an error processing your request. The corruption file may have been corrupted. Please remove paradoxes and try again.
Wish generating program initiated...
Error. Retrieving backup wish...
Quote from: Kegereneku on March 04, 2017, 02:37:00 PM
I wish for the SCP-foundation to finally kill SCP-682 (http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682)
Your wish is granted and SCP-682 is killed.
However, it is discovered that SCP-682 reproduces by dying, similar to a phoenix being reborn from its ashes, but with multiple young crawling out of its corpse instead, in great numbers.
This results in SCP-682-1~SCP-682-72. Of these, SCP-682-4, SCP-682-67, SCP-682-36, SCP-682-63, and SCP-682-47 escape.
Massive amounts of human lives are lost before all escaped SCP-682 offspring are captured, and SCP-682-47 kills you and all your family before getting captured.
I wish I knew everything I need to know.
Quote from: AllenWL on April 28, 2017, 10:24:57 PMI wish I knew everything I need to know.
Your wish is granted. You know everything you need to know. Unfortunately, to truly *know* anything, requires knowledge of all supporting data. And all knowledge is connected in an interlocking web of facts and data. So, yes, for a brief, glorious moment, you know everything you need to know, and by extension, everything that *can* be known. But the human mind isn't designed to handle such a volume of data, and you die almost immediately as your brain overloads and shuts down.
I wish I was good enough at strategy games to win occasionally by something other than dumb luck.
Quote from: dburgdorf on April 29, 2017, 01:17:23 AM
Quote from: AllenWL on April 28, 2017, 10:24:57 PMI wish I knew everything I need to know.
Your wish is granted. You know everything you need to know. Unfortunately, to truly *know* anything, requires knowledge of all supporting data. And all knowledge is connected in an interlocking web of facts and data. So, yes, for a brief, glorious moment, you know everything you need to know, and by extension, everything that *can* be known. But the human mind isn't designed to handle such a volume of data, and you die almost immediately as your brain overloads and shuts down.
Got in before me. I did a "These days, all you
need to know is how to breathe. Go catatonic, survive in hospice, blah blah blah." corruption. Yours is more interesting.
Quote from: dburgdorf on April 29, 2017, 01:17:23 AM
I wish I was good enough at strategy games to win occasionally by something other than dumb luck.
granted You become a strategic mastermind overnight. You begin playing in tournaments to try to find a challenge, but are extremely dominant at every game you play. You don't even need to know the rules beforehand. It is such an inhuman ability, the news of you becomes mainstream. The government takes notice of you. They realize that with you as a secret weapon, they could dominate the world. So, the government enslaves you and makes a dictatorship that rules the planet. btw, I mean the government of your hometown, Omaha. The entire world is now ruled by the mayor of Omaha, Nebraska. She is way out of her depth and it shows. The Earth becomes a post-apocalyptic wasteland within a year.
I wish I had real friends.
Granted, you had real friends, you don't anymore.
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I wish I could make extremely efficient factories in the game Factorio.
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 29, 2017, 05:56:48 AM
Granted, you had real friends, you don't anymore.
Left myself wide open for that one >:(
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 29, 2017, 05:56:48 AM
I wish I could make extremely efficient factories in the game Factorio.
(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nSsw9IB96eY/VZF_YbgKFcI/AAAAAAAAQQg/uyroq224sVY/s400/6.jpg)
You are now great at Factorio. Your factories are very efficient. Success feels so good, you can't stop. You become a video game addict, living only for Factorio. You get Factorio onto a tablet PC and walk around playing it, so you can get to the toilet or refrigerator. Eventually, you trip over your own feet and break both your wrists because you didn't try to catch yourself. A doctor prescribes you opioid painkillers and they become your new obsession, since you can't play Factorio with your injuries. You sit around all day, high out of your mind, fantasizing about well-made factories and watching streams of other geeks playing Factorio. None of this is enough to replace Factorio for you, so you add alcohol into the mix. Soon, you're also huffing cans of air duster.
You're a mess, Kegereneku. You need help. It hurts me to see you like this, dude. Me and catter are gonna do an intervention on you, though we fear you're beyond hope.
⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋
I wish I could kill you and get away with it.
Wish granted, the world you live in now allow you to kill me and get away with it. You have as much chance of pulling it off than winning the grand lottery five time in a row, but more precisely it will only allow you to if you kill me while dancing with sausages during the next solar eclipse (August 21, 2017), and with an oversized spiked dildo deep in your ass.
But if you do, you will totally get away with it! (It will make you possible to plead "not guilty by reason of insanity")
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I would love more people knew how to corrupt wish without coercing the wisher's into a deterministic universe.
And that I remembered to not make too smartass wish
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I wish for Trump to be impeached
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 30, 2017, 07:34:32 AM
I would love more people knew how to corrupt wish without coercing the wisher's into a deterministic universe.
And that I remembered to not make too smartass wish
Thanks, Kegerator. I think didn't understand the original wish. You were saying I shouldn't have the wishers perform any actions, right? The corruption should never have the wisher making decisions in it?
Quote from: Kegereneku on April 30, 2017, 07:34:32 AM
I wish for Trump to be impeached
granted Donald Trump is impeached. Mike Pence becomes U.S. President. Nothing really changes (besides stem cell research being made illegal in America) , because every government in the world is run by the Illuminati, anyway. The Illuminati discover how Trump was magically impeached, find the Corrupt-A-Wish genie, and wish for %100 control of the human race. The genie makes it so that the only people on the planet are the ones who were Illuminati, thus giving them %100 control and disappearing almost everybody. All the while, nothing deterministic happens (wtf ever that means).------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I can function normally without need for sleep.
Yeah, I was thinking that a good(by that I mean bad) corruption shouldn't be railroading the wisher actions until the situation become horrible (by adding stuff not asked for), it should make the situation horrible no matter what you'll do from there (and only with what was asked).
I'll try with your wish.
QuoteI wish I can function normally without need for sleep.
Cheapass corruption: Granted, you no longer need sleep, as a result you get lonely at night since everybody is sleeping and end-up killing yourself.
Normal corruption: Granted, your body can function normally without sleeping, however this mean your body will normally not perform any of the memory processing that happen during sleeping (but never awake), this is thus with absolute normalcy that your short & long term memory will worsen until you are no longer capable of memorizing anything new or forming coherent thought, because that's normal with the limitation of a normally working body awake forever. You will also eat more since your normal body need more energy when awake.
Premium corruption: **Please pay Premium fee (your soul) to see this corruption**
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 03, 2017, 04:04:25 PM
Yeah, I was thinking that a good(by that I mean bad) corruption shouldn't be railroading the wisher actions until the situation become horrible. . .
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 03, 2017, 04:04:25 PM. . .You will also eat more since your normal body need more energy when awake.
You dare to tell me how much I will eat? I demand Premium, this Normal corruption is railroading my actions!
🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂awaiting wish input from user with relly cool nickname Kegerator(https://www.kegworks.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Kegerator-Month-450x502.gif)
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Premium corruption: Granted, your body can function normally without sleeping, however this mean your body will normally not perform any of the memory processing that happen during sleeping (but never awake), this is thus with absolute normalcy that your short & long term memory will worsen until you are no longer capable of memorizing anything new or forming coherent thought, because that's normal with the limitation of a normally working body awake forever. Your body will require more nutriment as is normal since it need energy instead of sleeping. Also you no longer have a soul.
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I wish for mabor0shi to be tied up on the rail track in front of a running train that I am driving. Alas I'm not called Kegerator so this wish will probably be ignored.
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 04, 2017, 02:36:28 PMI wish for mabor0shi to be tied up on the rail track in front of a running train that I am driving. Alas I'm not called Kegerator so this wish will probably be ignored.
Wish granted. He is tied up (rather awkwardly) on a long section of model train track, in front of an HO-scale train under the complete control of a remote-control device in your hands.
I wish that Kegereneku would change his name to Kegerator.
Granted, Kegereneku WOULD change his name to Kegerator.
...If dburgdorf and mabor0shi both jumped to their death into a giant meat grinder.
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I wish for both dburgdorf and mabor0shi to immediately rename themselves Kegerator.
Granted. Through hacking methods he just looked up on the deep web, mabor0shi changes his and dburgdorf's profile names. His hacking is sloppy and amateurish, so he's detected and the names are soon reverted. He changes his Personal Text to say "Kegerator" for you, because it's now the best he can do. Then he jumps into a giant meat grinder. It's not big enough to fit him. He jams up the machine and gets badly maimed. Currently, he and his lawyer are trying to blame you for cyberbullying him into doing it. They know they can't win a lawsuit, but they can at least be a nuisance. Nothing deterministic occurs.
I wish for constructive criticism on my latest corruption, which is mediocre at best.
Quote from: mabor0shi on May 04, 2017, 08:37:31 PMI wish for constructive criticism on my latest corruption, which is mediocre at best.
Wish granted. A panel of five world-renowned wish corruption experts, who look and act much like military training instructors, appear without warning at your door one morning, and proceed to provide you with several hours of exhaustive (and exhausting) feedback on your wish corruption.
I wish I had a higher-quality computer at my desk in my office.
Wish granted, you now have a custom made PC of exceedingly fine craftsmanship. A lot more work, money and care went into designing this one than your current computer, it was fined tuned to be used at the maximum of its capability.
It's an old rig running Linux built to be amazing managing database, it's clearly better made than any puny market computer of today which make it sad that nobody is interested to buy one since only a professional computer engineer could use it.
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I wish the universe followed the Theory of Narrative Causality.
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 05, 2017, 04:54:06 PMI wish the universe followed the Theory of Narrative Causality.
Granted. The guiding principle of the universe is now that things happen because the plot requires them to. Sadly for you, you haven't been cast by the universe as a hero, or as a plucky comic relief sidekick. Neither are you a villain. You're a "red shirt" guy whose tragic death will spur a hero on to ultimate victory.
I wish that rainbows really did have physical ends at which pots of gold could be found.
Wish granted, rainbows now obtain physical ends with pots of gold.
However, because rainbows are actually light reflected off water droplets, in order to give rainbows a physical end, all light becomes very solid, and because light is a form of electromagnetic waves, all electromagnetic waves become solid as well. All of humanity are subsequently caught by the huge amount of solid electromagnetic waves moving about and promptly crushed between them.
I wish I could order deep-fried chicken on a airplane.
Quote from: AllenWL on May 05, 2017, 11:47:02 PM
I wish I could order deep-fried chicken on a airplane.
granted
(https://s3.postimg.org/47zezcsgj/WHAT_S_THE_DEAL_WITH_AIRLINE_FOOD.jpg)
| Chicken is now deep-fried on most airlines. There are frequent injuries and occasional casualties due to turbulence + boiling oil. Also, they use KFC's shitty recipes, because Yum! Brands, Inc. has an exclusive deal. Somehow the chicken is even worse on planes than in KFC, because this is how airplanes work. No food can taste as good on a plane. What's the deal with that? |
I wish my mod (https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=26913.45) was the most popular and people (including Tynan) thanked me often for making it.
Granted, a lot of people get sudden urge to use BRIGHT COLORED BRICK at any occasion possible, this mod is so frequently used that all screenshot online feature those shiny brick that DO NOT MIX AT ALL with the original Rimworld gritty colors scheme.
People start calling Rimworld "RimCraft" because of its similarity with Minecraft bright cube.
In fact people stopped playing the game in survival, only in a new creative mod to see colonist build shiny wall non stop.
After considerable use of recreative drugs (to ease the pain) Tynan thank you, he now realize how much money he can make just selling Color DLC with no gameplay improvement.
(seriously, I would add the equivalent of 6 more levels of darkened color to your mod and remove one line every two as redundant)
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I wish many birds where as intelligent and easy to tame than dogs
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 28, 2017, 03:02:25 AM
I wish many birds where as intelligent and easy to tame than dogs
Granted. Most birds are now intelligent and can be trained as household pets, but due to their intelligence they now rebel against humans for their consumption of duck, goose, chicken, turkey, and various other bird meats. They attack humans whom they see eat bird meat and PETA now works with them to overthrow the government and abolish all non-vegan products. All of humanity breaks out into a global civil war. If humans emerge victorious then most bird on planet earth will be extinct. If the birds win, humanity is enslaved and forced to never taste a piece of meat ever again.
I wish for the area around me to be perpetually clean.
Granted, you are now falling toward the center of the Earth surrounded by a perfect void generated around yourself, no air is present anymore, space-time is barely allowed to be here.
I wish I never misunderstood things I read.
Quote from: Kegereneku on May 30, 2017, 04:25:38 AMI wish I never misunderstood things I read.
Wish granted. You never misunderstand anything you read. Written text, no matter its source or language, is unambiguously clear to you. The meaning and intent of the author is perfectly obvious. People can still lie to you or misdirect you, but only verbally, never via any form of written communication. Word of your remarkable ability soon begins to spread. Speculation abounds that your ability may not be unique. Paranoia overtakes the populace. Worried about their motivations becoming public knowledge, people around the world stop committing anything to writing. Soon, verbal communication completely supplants any form of written communication. Obviously, communities become isolated and insular, as it's no longer "safe" to communicate over distances farther than someone can shout. Technological civilization crumbles, as humanity reverts to a universal tribal state.
On the plus side, your wish probably solved the global climate change problem.
Anywho....
I wish Pop-Tarts were actually healthy, but still tasty.
Granted. Pop Tarts get a new recipe, using only real food, whole grains (even with gluten free options), are certified organic and fully healthy. They are so good they become the most popular food in the world, demand for them vastly outstrips the capacity to produce them. The prices skyrocket and reach over $US10 per Pop Tart within a year. You don't have nearly enough money to afford them and they gradually become a luxury food only the very rich can afford, demand drops off eventually, but the price does not, Pop Tarts are re-branded as an exclusive premium gourmet food and the average person can't afford them any more.
I wish major video game developers didn't release only partial games at the same price as full games anymore and force their customers to pay for full game prices for DLCs that just add the rest of the basic story/features of the game.
Granted, now developers only release full game and stopped selling any DLC that could be seen as "missing from the original game". Instead they came back to the old concept of "add-on & stand-alone expansion pack". Thanks to dematerialized support platform those can be marketed, sold easily & made cross-compatible with all other previous & future
games of the franchise.
Riding on the wave of distrust against shitty commercial practice, all Editors & Developers followed the lead and now boast in every medias how their sales exploded by 400% with "Call of Duty" and its 15 stand-alone Campaign filling up all top 10 charts.
Meanwhile, independent developers who kept using the disgusting practices of selling HALF-GAME and the other half year later (using the undeserved profit) of the first half-game, have been drown out of business. Lobbies, defender of "Good practices" even pushed for laws forbidding to promote any game expansion that doesn't sell a full-game worth of content and to be wary of any "indy game" that sell "cheapass improvements".
The above paragraph was sponsored by <Insert Major Game Developer> |
I wish for everybody to be more informed & knowledgeable about the products they buy and to strive to impose more ethical and fair practice from business companies.
Quote from: Kegereneku on June 04, 2017, 04:38:13 PM
I wish for everybody to be more informed & knowledgeable about the products they buy and to strive to impose more ethical and fair practice from business companies.
Great, now people are more informed about shady business practices! Unfortunately, because of this, nobody buys anything anymore because it's too hard to find ethical businesses out there. This causes a total collapse of the world economy because there's no more money flowing around. In addition to this, everyone starves to death because they'd rather have that happen than support a shady business.
I wish A18 would come out tomorrow.
Granted A18 will come out tomorrow, as a bugged leak from someone who hacked Tynan because he would never release unfinished alpha.
I wish global warming was in fact a myth, not something real.
the weather is so hot where I live, 38°C
Quote from: Kegereneku on June 19, 2017, 01:53:45 PM
I wish global warming was in fact a myth, not something real.
the weather is so hot where I live, 38°C
Granted. Unfortunately, once it is officially stated that global warming was a hoax all along, the anti-science type gain a lot more credibility. It soon becomes a mainstream belief that vaccines are bad, because obviously science can't be trusted anymore. Suddenly, a new strain of measles appears that has a death rate of 100%. But because everybody refuses to vaccinate, everybody succumbs to new measles. The only survivors seek refuge in bunker with cryosleep caskets guarded by giant robots called mechanoids, along with various precious metals, to be discovered hundreds or even thousands of years later.
I wish I had an ice cream cone in my hand.
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on June 19, 2017, 04:58:53 PM
I wish I had an ice cream cone in my hand.
granted Someone fires a waffle cone out of a T-Shirt Cannon and it becomes lodged in your hand. It turns out to be from a new Ice Cream Parlor that is having a Grand Opening promotion! They had a terrible idea of firing ice cream cones into the air and having them parachute down, but the low quality parachutes malfunctioned. They promise to pay your medical bills and give you free ice cream for life, if you don't sue. {I wanted to do this "Choose Your Own Adventure" style and let the wisher accept or decline the deal, so as not to be
deterministic. But that is against the format, so I'll do both endings}
If you accept the deal, you will find out soon that other people were hit with stray cones and the Ice Cream Parlor is shut down by police. No more ice cream.
If you try to sue, the madman who owns the Ice Cream Parlor (and came up with the insane T-Shirt Cannon idea) will scoop out your heart and eat it with sprinkles and chocolate syrup.
I wish there was a heaven, like in the holy bible, except that people like me are allowed in. I mean gay people. Just kidding, I mean atheists. Let the gays in, too, though.
Granted, there is A heaven like the one you described.
The ORIGINAL one only accept good people who brought good things to civilization. But for some reason another heaven was created with an exception covering everybody who were either gay or atheist when they died.
Since religion don't actually come naturally this included pretty much everybody who are then entitled to do everything They personally love, so long as other don't have the time to object.
Along covered you'll meet Joseph STALIN and numerous serial killers, including gays rapist, anti-gay atheist and even anti-atheist christian fundamentalist who did things to young choirboy.
Funny fact: The good people usually chose the "original heaven" where only they (including good gay) are accepted, so they don't have to meet the horrible person above. meanwhile, most monsters who should have been going to Hell profit from this loophole.
So those persons are the one you are the more likely to meet, enjoying themselves.
Hope you go to the right one.
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I wish Trump received a cream pie in the face, for not keeping his words about working more and playing less golf than Barack Obama (yes he really criticized him for that).
Granted, albiet this motivates him to ban muslims entirely from America with means which make the Spanish inquisition seems like childs play. He invades Europe, capturing merkel and executing her, and saves Europe from rape gangs, and frees all people jailed for "hate speech". People end up calling him a nazi, forgetting that muslims were a big nazi ally. Antifa goes full retard, and martial law / open season is allowed on them, and over the course of a month this raises the average american IQ 10 points.
Whats more important, is your post is connected as the cause of all this, and underground ISIS people end up slaughtering you in your home. Don't worry though, its still a religion of peace, and the people will be brought to justice due to trumps "racist" policies
I wish people against bathroom bills in america could actually address the problem, that legally any man CAN walk into a womans bathroom, by just SAYING hes a girl at the time, and asking any more questions than that is considered a hate crime. (seriously, BY LAW, men can walk into womens restrooms if they say they are a man, but everyone just denies this and says its silly : such men are protected by law in some places.)
Wish granted, people addressed the problem and made it impossible for bigoted pundit to pass unpopular & unconstitutional laws on the fly. The American Constitution which -prohibit all form of discrimination against gender- (https://www.law.cornell.edu/constitution/amendmentxiv) have been clarified to be clear that it always applied to anybody, including non-standard gender.
Since then no stupid, unconstitutional laws that couldn't be enforced anyway have been passed and transgender still use whatever bathroom they wish to fit in (it's not like anybody checked).
Most of the US population is perfectly happy with these righteous and intelligent steps and wonder how is this post a "corruption" until they learn about mumble's beliefs.
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I wish winning argument was like striking a knife into fallacious arguments and twisting it until you heard a voice saying "FATALITY", after which your interlocutor fall on his knee and concede your arguments-fu is stronger than his own
I wish for all next posts to be humoristic corruption of the previous wish, expunged from any activistic rant.
Fun fact : reed vs reed was about MEN (people with penises) and women (people with vaginas). Transgender, transexuals, and others were never mentioned in it, therefore its not unconstitutional, and its not even really bigoted, unless you mean bigoted towards pedophiles. Its just that the mentally ill have highjacked the term "gender".
Granted, albeit the definition of activist rant is so vague, and is defined by people who make them, similar to the bathroom bill, meaning you are only making an activist rant if you SAY its an activist rant : this means that any and all TRULY HORRIFIC activist rants, like promoting pedophilia, is taken as "just a joke" by everyone. Only an idiot would say he was making an activist rant as it then subjects him to nasty consequences : or maybe not, considering the supreme court just ruled that hate speech is covered under free speech :D As a side effect as well, if you say someone cannot say something, it is not only bigoted to say so, but you are also labeled as someone who cannot take a joke. This also ends up leading to a 50 year period of death of mainstream humor.
I wish I could turn water into wine.
Granted, however you cannot control it and it happen to any water that you ingest, so you are doomed to death by alcohol intoxication in the next few weeks. The good news is that nobody will notice the difference in your drunken rants with your allegedly sober one.
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I wish for mumblemumble to have no scientifically definite gender.
Granted, but absolutely nothing changes because gender as the SJW's, transexuals, transgenders, gender fluids, fluid genders, and fluids FROM genders all say its a social construct which doesn't even exist. In short, I'm completely unaffected, as my SEX as a male stays the same, and gender was always subjective as hell anyway, and made not important due to people obsessing about it. Essentially all the worry about a label I didn't even use was removed from me : I am called he because I have a "little he" downstairs, and thats not gender, thats sex, and nobody ever had ANY scientifically "definite" gender, but most people have a scientifically definite SEX.
You are also now a raging transphobe too.
I wish food trucks had decent sushi, which doesn't make me sick / start squirting Hershey
Granted, food truck sushi are better but now cost 10 time more to do because it take more effort to make, as a result it's extremely rare to find a truck who sell any.
I wish hotel in space existed and were affordable for most of the human population.
Granted! However, the advanced technology of humans attracts warlike aliens, who drive humanity into extinction and destroy the Earth for all its resources.
I wish that I was the most attractive person on the planet.
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on June 21, 2017, 05:02:52 PM
Granted! However, the advanced technology of humans attracts warlike aliens, who drive humanity into extinction and destroy the Earth for all its resources.
wow, lucky. I was letting myself wide open for "They are all TRUMP space-hotel." Much worse to my opinion, at least alien might do something useful of our resources after causing our extinction. ;D
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on June 21, 2017, 05:02:52 PM
I wish that I was the most attractive person on the planet.
Granted, you are now the most magnetic person on the planet, metallic dust are just easily attracted to you. Your gravitational pull is also unrivaled as you are the HEAVIEST person of the world.
I wish to have a good night today (with no hill effect on any other aspect of my life).
Stop with the politics or I'll bring back
catter and the Hell apartment.
I can do that because i was secretly
catter the whole time.(https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?action=dlattach;attach=11017;type=avatar)
Quote from: Kegereneku on June 21, 2017, 05:18:05 PM
I wish to have a good night today (with no hill effect on any other aspect of my life).
granted Tonight will be the best night of your life, 0.000001% better than your previous best. It will be a permanent best that you can never top. You will forget it all tomorrow so that there can be no "hill effect" (Google search yields no definition of "hill effect", but I think it's a French version of "snowball effect") on any other aspect of your life. All you will remember is that the night of June 21, 2017 was really good. From then on, every time your brain reaches a high level of Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, or Endorphins it will trigger the thought that life has been better and will never be as good again as it was that night. And you will hear my voice saying, "This is not deterministic." and you will believe me. And I will sound like Mr. T from the A-Team.
= I wish Corrupt-A-Wish was made into a game for PC, designed by Ludeon.
Granted! However, Corrupt-a-Wish releases with more bugs than an etymology museum, and even when those are fixed, the game is still regarded as the worst game of all time. In fact, it is regarded as the worst thing ever created by a human of all time, even if you count Hitler. Tynan Sylvester's reputation is forever ruined, and he dies under a bridge with a bottle of rotgut liquor in his hand. Meanwhile, humanity is thrust into another dark age, as such a terrible creation dragged down the rest of human culture with it.
I wish I was as smart as Elon Musk.
Granted, albiet your intelligence ends up smelling like a skunks musk, so while brilliant, you repulse people.
I wish hells apartment was back, but with cameo appearances by Trump, Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, and Tommy Sotomayor.
Granted, the hells apartment is back, you are in it, stuck with Trump, Ben Shapiro, Steven Crowder, and Tommy Sotomayor. You and them are in HELL because you are bad person (or you wouldn't be in hell knowing about that apartment duh!) and condemned to be tortured for eternity. Probably by person of ambiguous gender who do not conform to gender role stereotype and keep trying to open your minds (and not always in the bloody physical way).
For everybody else the "hells apartment" is back as a metaphor of how too many extensive self-referential private jokes lock other peoples out of a fun topic.
The cameos act as a self-demonstration of that since most people will need to google them and search a lot to understand why mumblemumble posted them, and may not find it funny in any way.
The metaphor come along a reminder that the best wish's corruption only use exactly what have been wished for and do not coerce the wisher in situation
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I wish I had a notebook that make things that (only I) write about, into reality exactly as I truly wanted them. The notebook also appear and disappear as I wish.
Granted, albeit you suffer from a condition where you are highly sensitive to the desires and opinions of others, and they become yours, making you use this device for others because you want to obey them. This also makes your life rapidly spin out of control as you end up being controlled by anyone near you, to the point you suffer an ego death in a months time.
I wish I had a high powered laser to used as a conceal carry, considering it bypasses most "firearms" law :)
Cut it out, i can see where this is going, last warning.
Wish granted, albeit it uses the cut / paste function, and this is posted on a MLP forum, much to the confusion of everyone there, which subsequently gets your IP banned for being involved.
I wish there was a repeat of the towel of babel incident, but in reverse, forcing everyone to speak the same language globally. preferably english
Granted, everyone now speaks English as by the will of God. However, now that everyone understands what everyone says, verbal wars break out which soon turn to normal wars.
Welcome to the post-apocalyptic world after WWIII. Did you know this all started because the leaders of Egypt called the leaders of Israel stupid #$@!*(% and war soon broke out. It soon became like what happened in WWI where everyone aided the other, creating a global war with Thermonuclear Missiles and other weapons of war. BTW: You got caught in one of the blasts and are now on your way to some place unpleasant, like the hell apartments where you are contently tortured as Kegereneku, mabor0shi, and I fight about who caused this whole problem about the hell apartments.
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I wish I had a surprising welcome back party for coming back to this forum after a long time.
Wish granted, a surprise "welcome back" have been organized in your honor, what made it surprising as "welcome back" party goes, is that everybody is looking at you the same way a pack of wolves look at the prey they surrounded.
We are all happy to see you.
You might not be happy to be back.
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I wish I had a magical computer (and accessory) capable of playing (solo) game that will only appear 20 years in the futures (and it come with game I like already installed and playable offline).
Wish granted. You have a magical computer and relevant accessories, on which solo games you like are preinstalled and can be played offline. It's of amazing quality in every respect. It will appear 20 years in the future from today, and will only last for that day. (As you requested, the computer "will only appear 20 years in the future.") So enjoy it during the brief chance you have.
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I wish the revival of "Twin Peaks" was actually as good as I'd hoped it would be, instead of the pointlessly bizarre, tediously dull production I've been making myself slog through.
Wish granted, the revival of "Twin Peaks" is no longer pointlessly bizarre and tediously dull. You don't have to even slog through it, it was discontinued and the company that made it was burned to the ground financially and literally.
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I wish my corruptions can be very bad without criticism.
Wish granted. Your corruption is very bad. Nobody criticizes it though. Its just bad, and ignored, kinda like that one kid in grade school who was annoying and dorky but you treated nice because you had to. Its still bad though, but, I never said this... I'm not criticizing it.
I wish more games were less watered down and had more meta-game physics to learn that took a long time to master
Granted, games are just like that. The problem now is earning enough money to buy a game like that. Also, these games need more space in order to play and now require that you buy a new console, (or computer component) that will allow you to read the new disk type. Was this game really worth the tons of money poured into it? :D
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I wish to be able to be criticized again.(With ad hominem attacks at a minimum please)
Quote from: catter on June 27, 2017, 09:06:29 PM
I wish to be able to be criticized again.(With ad hominem attacks at a minimum please)
Granted, happy to be once again free of their wills everybody tell you what they really thought of you and your shitty smartass corruption and your even more shitty wish, what's up with that? Did you believe it would make you a special snowflake? No way! it just make you a regular flake, we will never get good corruption or wish from a CAT.
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I wish I could corrupt my own wish.
Granted! You can now corrupt your own wish! But in so doing... um... uh....
This is becoming too meta....
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I wish Kegereneku could corrupt his own wish to be able to corrupt his own wish....
Quote from: Kegereneku on June 28, 2017, 04:14:58 PM
Wish granted, Kegereneku can corrupt his own wish, unfortunately his wish came pre-corrupted which mean he will corrupt the wish he will in the future, which mean I can't corrupt dburgdorf wish's, which in turn make it impossible for Kegereneku to corrupt his wish granted, which in turn make it impossible for corruption to grant wish to Quotequote[&*^p"'##### REALITY v1.04 SUFFERED A CRITICAL FAILURE - PLEASE REBOOT AND CALL THE HOTLINE number: 666§999]/quote
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I wish my wish came pre-corrupted.
Wish granted, Kegereneku can corrupt his own wish, unfortunately his wish came pre-corrupted which mean he will corrupt the wish he will in the future, which mean I can't corrupt dburgdorf wish's, which in turn make it impossible for Kegereneku to corrupt his wish granted, which in turn make it impossible for corruption to grant wish to
Quotequote[&*^p"'##### REALITY v1.04 SUFFERED A CRITICAL FAILURE - PLEASE REBOOT AND CALL THE HOTLINE number: 666§999]/quote
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I wish my wish came pre-corrupted.
Granted, your wish comes pre-corrupted. However, since the point of this game is to corrupt wishes that seem good on paper, and your request is to have your wish already corrupted, your wish ironically can't be corrupted, and nothing bad happens, which in the context of the game is a bad thing, because you're supposed to corrupt wishes. Mission accomplished?
I wish I were the strongest man in the world.
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on June 29, 2017, 01:35:49 AM
I wish I were the strongest man in the world.
Granted. Hopefully you won't feel too lonely with nobody else in it, though.
I wish to crack open a cold one with the boys
Granted, when you enter your house you find one cold icicle with four frosty guys inside. Attached is an ice pick, however your neighbors saw this icicle with people inside and soon called the cops. You have 2 minutes to get those people free or else you will be arrested.
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I wish that I wasn't called a special snowflake and a regular flake.
Your wish is granted, and no one ever calls you 'a special snowflake and a regular flake' anymore. But don't worry! You're still a special snowflake :).
I wish mosquitoes didn't exist.
Granted, mosquito never existed. No flying parasitic blood sucking creature ever appeared. As a result, a lot of genetic-transfer through blood-sucking insect (https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100430155856.htm) never happened, so mankind as we know it didn't appeared either.
The closest that exist of you is a flea.
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I wish I had the great powers of Spiderman and without the responsibility.
Granted, you gain the powers of Spiderman by being bitten by a spider. Now, since you don't want to have any responsibility you will die because that spider was a brown recluse and it bit you many times because it was hungry. These bites were never cleaned up and never got anti-venom injected in because you didn't want the responsibility to care for the wounds inflicted on you. Because that would mean you would want to be responsible for your powers and try to heal the wounds that allowed you to get those powers. It is confusing, but it is true.
I wish I could punch somebody in the face through a TV.
Granted, you can now punch someone in the face through a TV, everybody can (Do you have a webcam? just curious).
Bonus: wish that could have been granted: "You can now punch somebody through a TV, however it only work with TV, so you have to carry a TV up to the person you want to punch until it's at arm length and find a way to lift it with one hand (no bonus strength, your punch crossing TV is all supernatural) also the TV kind of block your sight unless you happen to punch someone who is being filmed on mass media, on a TV that happen to be on.
To spare you multiple experiment: it only work with smartphone and portable computer if you are watching videos coming from a one-way source recognized as television.
No need to tell you that punching through those TV totally waste them.
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I wish I could step into any fictional universe as if they were real and in anyway I want, without risking deaths while always being able to come back where (and when) I come from, any time I want.
Granted, you now can enter any fictional universe in any way you want to without killing anyone and be able to go back to reality in the original spot in space and time you were in when you left. You continuously do this until at one point you can't figure out if you are in reality or in a fantasy. You are later sent to a mental hospital in a fictional story to be "corrected". Meanwhile the real world moves on and you never come back...
I wish I could have a nice moderate challenge when corrupting like what I did in this post.
Wish granted, you can have a nice moderate challenge, but as you wished, only when corrupting a wish EXACTLY like you did in your post. So you need to find a wish to corrupt that allow you to corrupt it the very same way, Only then will feel it was a "nice and moderate challenge".
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I wish I was aesthetically and mentally very attractive to anybody, especially to girl and girls that are very aesthetically and mentally attractive to me.
Your wish is granted, but you find you can't stand the constant ogling wherever you go. You want a cup of coffee and the damn barista asked you out again (it was cute the first five times, though). You fail at work because all your colleagues find your presence distracting or are outright jealous to your attractiveness. After a few months you choose to live as a hermit for the rest of your days.
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I wish that the worldwide decline of frog populations stop.
Quote from: Morze on July 07, 2017, 02:44:38 PM
Your wish is granted, but you find you can't stand the constant ogling wherever you go. You want a cup of coffee and the damn barista asked you out again (it was cute the first five times, though). You fail at work because all your colleagues find your presence distracting or are outright jealous to your attractiveness. After a few months you choose to live as a hermit for the rest of your days.
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I wish that the worldwide decline of frog populations stop.
it is granted.
how ever to make this a reality you are genetically tampered with in till you are nothing but a living breathing mass that is constantly generating eggs in its skin whose incubation periods are artificially reduced to mere minutes.
I wish to be reborn as a bird and experience true freedom.
Wish granted, however I eat you while hunting in my next life as another cat. Sorry fella!
I wish I had a good friend to shoot me.
Wish granted you get you good friend and when you decide too end it all turns out he is a really horrible shot. He ends up shooting you 43 times in painful areas (kneecaps, your groin, ect) before then police finally come and put a stop to it. They then rush you to the hospital where after a brilliant use of medical technology they are able to keep you from dying but you are completely paralysed but still able to feel pain. There is no hope for you in life and your good friend is now in jail for attempt to help you commit suicide. All you want in this world is for someone to pull the plug, to end your constant that you were in but your unable move your mouth. Your family members have either long forgotten about you or are trying to help you love even longer. You die 67 years latter suffering.
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I wish I knew they current news in the USA
Granted, you now know the current news in the US, as in whatever anybody in the USA consider a "news" over the very last 5 minutes. However most of it are raw data that are meaningless without proper context, and proper interpretation from reputable sources of information. For example you simultaneously learned the news that "Trump said something was making a deal with Russia at some indistinct point in time" and that "Trump said he never made a deal with Russia about 'this nondescript things he was talking 5 minutes ago' ".
Those news are also drown in 200 millions others "news", like Betty Cooker getting news of his grand son's cat "catter" being ran over by a car.
----------------------------------------------------
I wish Kegerator was a terminator version of me
I become a terminator version of you but because I have no shame I walk around naked, like in the opening scenes of Terminator. But since I am a version of you I have a very small d@#$ ( I am not sure how strict they are here about stuff like that) and no muscles at all.
People end up filming me thinking its you and millions of people see the online video. I also, being a terminator, I murder people which they also think is you and because of our broken legal system you get the chair for it. My string of murders still continue however despite this.
-----------------------
I wish that I was good at roleplaying in d&d
you become good at role playing but to do so you make a pact with our lord randy random and therefore he requires to sacrifice something important to you for every day of your life if a day goes by without said sacrifice then your tong and your arms rot away from gangrene and you will never be able to role play again.
I wish for my life to be full of never ending misery dissatisfaction and pain.
Granted, your life is now full of never ending misery, dissatisfaction and pain. However to prevent you from getting used and dulled by this, your life is also filled with bright spot that give you the (doomed) belief that, maybe today, it will end. Just before crushing your hope in new ways.
Also, any people around you who try to help you or bring you joy in any way, tend to suffer horribly from your wish. Obviously, a lot of misunderstanding happen around you and many people belief you are somehow doing all this on purpose.
[code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code][/code]
I wish I had a TESLA car
Granted. With your fancy new Tesla car, you're the talk of the town. All the guys are secretly insecure about their cars now, and all the ladies in the area faint when you come near. However, while whistling to a cute girl one day, you fail to pay attention to your path, and subsequently crash into passing pedestrians, all of whom were orphan children finally getting adopted from their horrible orphanage. Meanwhile, you fly out of the windshield of your car and land right in front of it, with the last sight you see being your beloved car about to crush you under its wheels.
I wish I had bionic limbs.
Wish granted but these limbs have been calibrated to only exert large amount of force. You try and hug your mom she is not getting up, try to shake someone's hand, they are probably not going too except your business deal, try to masturbate well let's just say it didn't go very well.
----------------------
I wish Fallout 4 was a high quality, affordable,
true RPG with good writing and an a original plot that was true to the franchise, and gameplay that was still good, instead of the simplistic game Bethesda gave to us.
Granted, Fallout 4 was everything you hoped....
it was... then a tons of patches simplified the game little by little to "make it more accessible" and you can't just stay on the original release because you would lose all the patch-only DLC and HD improvement while the mods are only made compatible with the latest version.
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on July 11, 2017, 12:08:10 AMyou fail to pay attention to your path, and subsequently crash into passing pedestrians, all of whom were orphan children finally getting adopted from their horrible orphanage. Meanwhile, you fly out of the windshield of your car and land right in front of it, with the last sight you see being your beloved car about to crush you under its wheels.
I protest ! My TESLA would be driving with it's incredibly sophisticated collusion avoidance (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FadR7ETT_1k)! Also, that's bad corruption when you have to create situation well outside of the original wording.
Sure, "you
had a TESLA" feel cheap, but you could also gave me a miniature TESLA car
-------------------------------------------------
I wish there was an after-sale services for granted-wish.
Wish granted, you are now the 1000000th person in line, seeing that there are so many people's lives hurt or destroyed by someone's wish.
I wish I had my life back.
Granted, you have your life back. However, your life sucks now, as when your life is granted back to you, it's thousands of years in the future and the planet you once called home is a treacherous rimworld.
I wish I was good at Chess.
Wish granted you are good at chess relative to everyone else in the world, mainly because its the zombie Apocalypse and the only people you can play against are zombies.
I wish I was Rick Grimes from the walking dead.
Congratulations, you are now Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead! You have his body, personality, memories, relationships, and overall identity of Rick Grimes. Unfortunately, you now live in a horrific zombie-infested world, and the genie who granted your wish forgot to put you in a safehouse. Have fun finding another one!
I wish I could shoot fireballs out of my hands.
Wish granted. You also shoot lightning out of your arse, your eyes glow, and you grow to be seven feet tall if you aren't already. There's also an unshakable odour of brimstone.
I wish for great wealth.
Wish granted, however you got it through a will. The will states: "I give this money to MarvinKosh only if he does what I want him to do with it. After MarvinKosh gets this large sum of money, he can look at it and admire it for 5 weeks and can't use it. Then after those 5 weeks, the money must be split in half where one half goes to any charity MarvinKosh wants to donate, (Which MUST be done), and the other half to be used only as food, clothing, and more charity money."
I wish for some fish on a dish. (or tuna and la luna; or a trout with a pout. Whichever one works best in corrupting.)
Granted, someone serves you fish on a dish. Unfortunately, someone wants you dead and has poisoned your meal. You die several weeks later in agony due to said poison being extremely painful and slow-acting.
I wish I actually lived in the universe of Rimworld.
Wish granted.
The Gods of Corrupt Wishes sends you to the Rimworld Universe.
However, since the universe has large amounts of nothing, and you are a very very tiny thing, you end up within the vast void of space.
You have 15 seconds before you lose consciousness, and about another minuet after that before you die.
I wish I could summon 100% obedient demons to do my bidding.
Wish granted you have demons that are 100% obedient. However they only understand one language and every word in that language means "make my life and everyone I love life miserable.
I wish I could have a real life 3d working mega shark, with unlimited ammunition, and the skills necessary to weld it profiently
See here http://terraria.wikia.com/wiki/Megashark (http://terraria.wikia.com/wiki/Megashark)
Wish granted, you now have a mega shark. The thing is though is that in order to get it you have to enter a 2D world. This becomes very disorienting and while you are reorienting yourself, you get killed. It is ok though, in the 3D hell if you enlist as a demon special force you will get that weapon, but have to follow the orders of AllenWL.
I wish the next poster would corrupt a previous wish of a tuna and la luna ( or trout with a pout; whichever works best for corrupting).
Wish granted you get both! Wait a second...yes..OK I understand. So the folks above me are saying that you did not receive a tuna and la luna or a trout with a pout but instead, a tuna with a pout and a trout and la luna. It is impossible to change this. As with anyone with a mild case of OCD your head immediately explodes into a ball of flames.
I wish I actuated knew what the heck a pout is in this context. I mean seriously what is it?
Granted, it is explained to you by making your face look like a pouting trout, you spend the rest of your life wishing you just googled "pout fish (http://pout%20fish)"
I wish for Jeager from Pacific Rim to exist and to be efficient at killing any kaiju without more destruction or loss of human life than is currently happening.
Wish granted, to make things even better: you can and will control it! However, since this is a very large machine and you re the only one who can service it (and you can't tell anyone how to service it); you have to clean it, repair it, upgrade it, and program it all by yourself. Now there are two ways this can go: A) You are daunted by this and decide to not do any of that. or B) You accept the task and now whenever you use it you now take 10 years to clean it and repair it. In the case of A, the machine slowly wears itself out and malfunctions beyond repair. In the case of B, you slowly get old and you give up on using the machine because it would mean another 10 years of cleaning an repairing.
I wish for a can of tuna...
Granted you get a can of tuna, it is out of date by 20 years, made at a time where it was impossible to conserve fish anywhere that long.
______________________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________
I wish for cats to be a mainstream meal, just like rabbit or chicken.
Wish granted cat is a mainstream meal like rabbit. What rabbits a mainstream meal? OK. Cat soars in popularity with nearly every restaurant serving some variation of it. In order to meet the demand for meat cat farmers give massive amounts of hormones and drugs to cats promote growth. One of these cats is taken in due to his large intelligence. He eventually realizes the crimes humanity has committed to cat kind and leads a cat uprising. The cats use humans for food as cats had once been.
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Quote from: Kegereneku on July 14, 2017, 12:02:34 PM
Granted, it is explained to you by making your face look like a pouting trout, you spend the rest of your life wishing you just googled "pout fish (http://pout%20fish)"
I looked it up on bing but I couldn't find it. I would have looked it up on google but its blocked here in China, I don't live here just staying for the summer, humanoid Also I can't look that link. :-\
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I wish the Trump administration was no longer in power.
Granted, however it is because as a result of Trump's megalomania and his bragging about national security secret in plutocrat club led to a thermonuclear war that beheaded the US' government and his administration in the first strike.
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I wish China became a democracy.
Wish granted. Every single Chinese person other than the politicians currently in power dies a horrible death, making China a democratic nation as the government is now the entire Chinese population.
I wish I could understand and speak all languages past, present, and future without the knowledge melting my brain.
Wish granted. You can understand and speak every language that ever has or ever will exist. This includes not just human languages based on verbalized sounds, but also a wide variety of non-human and even alien languages based on scent, visual stimuli, electromagnetic fields, etc., etc.
Your brain doesn't melt, but your body is modified extensively to allow you to sense input humans aren't normally capable of sensing, and to allow you to "speak" in languages in which humans can't normally communicate. The end result is that you look rather monstrous.
As well, while your brain doesn't melt, you find it incredibly difficult to filter incoming sensory signals, since every sort of sensory input, however random, represents a form of communication used by something or someone, somewhere or somewhen. Literally everything you see, hear, smell, taste or sense in any other manner *might* actually be a form of language, after all.
Imagine having to live with people shouting gibberish around you all day long, every day. Then magnify it a thousandfold. That's essentially what your life becomes.
-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-/\/-=-
I wish I could make a non-corruptable wish.
Wish granted. However, since you violated one of the rules of this game, i.e not making an incorruptible wish, everyone on the forum kicks you out of the thread and throws rotten tomatoes at you as you leave with a humiliated expression on your face. Your reputation forever tarnished, you now are forced to walk around in public wearing a paper bag on your head to avoid harassment. And even when you do that, everyone laughs at you for your ridiculous face mask.
I wish my sweat smelled like cologne.
Wish granted. Oh by the way, there is a new "cologne" that under-cover agents use that is basically a poison. Yea it is so... why do you look like you are dying? Oh... your sweat smells like that exact cologne. I'm so sorry. :-\
I wish to be the leader of the cat uprising!
(http://www.bontheball.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/like-a-boss-cat-attack.gif)(https://media.tenor.co/images/e3f7cf0ef209b2db23b949d31968da41/raw)(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o6UB65bfF8P1anIZ2/giphy.gif)(https://media.giphy.com/media/o2Lwy4g7Dzptu/giphy.gif)(http://cdn.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/1015945/84137559.gif)(http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8b/30/0a/8b300a221ba679d2aa5a0968def51ca1.jpg)
Wish Granted. However, the cats rebel and you are no longer the cat king ;.; I wish to become el tree.
Granted, you become el tree. Because you used two languages though, you are now stuck between the US border and Mexican border. You are later cut down and a wall replaces you. Now you fell right in the middle of the borders, so where should they send you to? The Mexican lumber yards, or the US lumber yards?
I wish to be put back in my original position as king of all cats after an election.
Wish granted, however your original position was a nobody with delirium of royalty, you return to it when a democratic election lead someone else to become President of the catnation. You stay a "king" in all but tradition for anybody who believe in you as it doesn't possess any legal status, unlike the real EMPEROR OF ALL CATS, KROSP 1 (https://girlgeniusadventures.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/tumblr_mqrbib9mei1qewacoo2_1280.jpg).
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
I wish for everybody who post in this thread (including me) to be forced to see a 1 hours powerpoint presentation on the danger of self-referential joke.
I wish to be a Mad Scientist in real life, capable of casually mocking the laws of physics when I'm in a trance, and that it was good.
Wish granted, we now see the dangers of self-referential jokes every time a corruption is created by a new person. Now anyone who does it is doing it just because they want to risk it. YOLO!!!! 8)
Wish granted, as you are mocking physics one day, you manage to stay entranced and float very high. Unfortunately, a plane flew by bringing you out of the trance and you fell to your death...
I wish self-referential jokes were not scorned by others...
Granted, self-referential jokes are not scorned by others but everybody keep making self-referential jokes about leaving you out of it while keeping you out of it because it's funnier (except for you of course who never understand those jokes)
I wish that fishy guy would move to better material instead of mumbling
Granted, he now moves on to murder mysteries as his new material. The way he does it is that he commits a murder himself and watches how the police deal with it...
I wish people would stop picking on me, I'm just a cat you know!
granted now nobody on this forum or in your real life will acknowledge the fact that you exist forcing you to live a heart crushingly lonely life.
I wish I had more space in my room for bookshelves.
Granted! However, the space now extends to outside of your house and into your neighbor's bedroom. He/she/ze/whatever the PC pronoun of the day is isn't too appreciative of this involuntary makeover, and sues you for 15 googolplex dollars. They win, and you end up with literally unpayable debt.
I wish Catter would stop pretending to be a cat.
Wish granted Catter stops pretending to be a cat however since Catter identifies as a cat its basically the same as you telling a transgender person to f#@$ off their entire lifestyle you homophobic turd nugget. Unsure of what to do with himself Catter wanders the streets until he wanders into an alley and is mugged. Now with no money or happiness Catter crosses the street to go find shelter from the constant rain. This where you come in. Driving under the influence, speeding, you hit Catter as he is crossing the street killing him instantly. You immediately panics driciong away but not before someone sees your licenses plate number. You get charged with a DUI, Hit and Run and Manslaughter. Later knowing that you where to blame for the death of Catter you hang your self with the bed sheets in in your cell.
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I wish that everyone had a bit that only annoyed Names are for the Weak.
Ah come-on!
QuoteI wish Catter would stop pretending to be a cat.
Would have been so much easier to grant as "He's not pretending because he became a cat"!
We are getting way to complex and political in our wish fulfillment.
Anyway, Kegerator wish is granted: Everybody have a bit (material from a standup comedian's repertoire) that
only annoyed "Names are for the Weak", it really annoyed him at the time but not anymore.
Now thanks' to that comedian's person-targeted mastery of puns, everybody have a bit in their repertoire to bug Kegerator's skynet brain anytime HE IS BACK (for some clothes or to tell something in Spanish).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I wish for
[CONTENT REDACTED] so I can
[CONTENT REDACTED] but only if
[CONTENT REDACTED], and for it to absolutely not interfere with plapytus'
[CONTENT REDACTED] Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Granted. However, [CONTENT REDACTED] happens, which results in [CONTENT REDACTED], which is really bad because [CONTENT REDACTED], and then Obi-Wan Kenobi [CONTENT REDACTED] your mother.
I wish that I knew the unredacted version of your wish and my corruption of it.
Wish granted, I came to your home in person to explain you what it meant, however the secret Police-against-Self-Referential-jokes-that-last-way-to-long (this name is only a facade for the true organization) intervened and erased both of our memory with the promise to kill anyone who keep looking.
¨
I wish for the world to become a lot better
wish granted
however to solve the worlds problems a plague has to be created in collaboration from the worlds leading country's to cut humanity's population exactly in half from there humanity's problems are able to be solved due to their severely lessened scale.
I wish that kegereneku had been far more persifick with his last wish.
Wish granted, however because the internet or anyone else doesn't know what persifick means the main result you want cannot be achieved. If you would like to retry your wish, press 1. If you would like to wish for something completely different, press 2. If you would like to make a complaint, hang up. If you would like to have this message repeated, press 3 or wait until this message is over. Thank you for calling at the Corrupt-A-Wish Thread.
I wish people would understand that I am a real cat.
Quote from: catter on July 23, 2017, 04:48:09 PM
Wish granted, however because the internet or anyone else doesn't know what persifick means the main result you want cannot be achieved. If you would like to retry your wish, press 1. If you would like to wish for something completely different, press 2. If you would like to make a complaint, hang up. If you would like to have this message repeated, press 3 or wait until this message is over. Thank you for calling at the Corrupt-A-Wish Thread.
I wish people would understand that I am a real cat.
so real talk for a moment the word persifick is my rather odd alternative way of spelling percific which means in the context of the sentence I used it in "to focus on one individual or small group of things" now back to wish granting.
your wish is granted.
how ever a secret of scientists after realising that you are a real cat that is able to use a computer in coherent manner then kidnap you for underground experiments for the rest of your life stripping you of all freedom privacy and dignity you could ever have.
I wish for the wish in my previous post to be interpreted properly and then granted.
Kegereneku is more percific with his wish to include only me Kegerator the product of an out dated inside joke from this forum that happened awhile ago. The original wording of the wish was
Quote from: Kegereneku on July 23, 2017, 02:13:41 PM
I wish for the world to become a lot better
As such this makes me much better which is relative to me which makes me make wishes that are even more complicated and political. Your welcome Kegereneku. Seriously though I'll be less political but I can make no promises on the complicated...
I wish Goblins would update every day without any drop in quality. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Goblins (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/Goblins)
Granted, Goblins now update everyday. Unfortunately it is now behind a paywall to finance the added work, the quality -as dictated by the number of fan- never decreased but the style and the story shifted toward a different public more mainstream who are easily amazed by non-shit stuff and silly tablegame joke. Old fans think it's the downfall of this amazing webcomic. All the new fan insist the quality never dropped but most of them are too dumb to notice that no new strip ever got shadow treatment.
(http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1900/fc01869.png)
I wish for the next poster to have a good time reading Freefall (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff100/fv00001.htm), which despite its newspaper toon-like look (and humor) is actually A HARD-SF SETTING EASILY ON PAR WITH THE EXPANSE.
Wish granted, however this person also is a psychopath and kills people trying to make the same characters in the strip. He sees your profile picture on here, captures you, experiments on you, and because he never succeeds in his experiments you die or are thrown out looking like a hideous monster.
I wish to know why i read 10 strips from Freefall and didn't care if my brains rotted out or not.
wish granted however the long periods of introspection required makes you realise the shallow ness and utter amenity of humanity eventually you begin laying bombs in areas of the public killing dozens of innocent people in till one day while you are tinkering one of your own prototype devices detonates prematurely the blast doesn't kill you but the shack you are hiding out in collapses crushing and killing you slowly.
phew that was a long one also for those wondering introspection means at least in how I use the word "to spend extended periods of time examing your own mind and your own behaviour In general" not sure if I explained well but hopefully it'll do.
I wish for kegereneku to undergo a period of intense introspection.
Wish granted, however he soon figures out why he has bad parts to his life and tries to make them better. This requires, however, lots of dumping of his old life and creating a new one. You never hear from him again, for all you know. The person you once knew is now very different and the original is basically dead... :'(
I wish I had a life just like that.
Wish granted. You go on a troop to "find yourself" for 2 weeks and then completely forget about your past life because of your short term memory as a cat. Everyone you has ever loved you forever call out your name trying to find you but even if they find you you won't remember them. :'(
Kegereneku I know this is probably stupid but I always thought that your profile picture was from club penguin...
I wish that Catter legally became my cat . By the way I have two other cats, you know for background.
Wish granted, and Catter is legally Kegerator's cat. However, Kegerator's two other cats grow jealous of Catter hogging all of Kegerator's attention, learn evil and mythical arts to become shaman/druid/cult cats, and cast a curse on Catter so Horrid and Vile that none dare ever speak of it. Except Kegerator, who names the Curse that Must Not be Named in horror, and end up forever trapped in the outer realm.
I wish someone would ninja-reply me so their wish accidentally gets skipped.
I'M GRANTING YOUR WISH ALLENWL-san! But the definition of NINJA have shifted long ago from ASSASSINS (who killed without you knowing about their clan) to BRIGHT ORANGE-CONE LONE WARRIOR OF MASS DESTRUCTION boasting about what they are at any opportunity and do thing in a STRAIGHTFORWARD WAY.
So ninja-replying your post is just doing it in a BOASTFUL way and being extremely obvious about it.
BRIGHT ORANGE-CONE NINJA ARE ALSO A LITTLE STUPID, SO I ACCIDENTALLY SKIPPED THE LAST PART OF YOUR WISH.
I wish the first 100 strip of Freefall gave a better idea of how intelligent the plot and the setting really is behind the toon-like appearance.
Wish granted, but now nobody cares about it besides you and Kegerator. The reason they don't care is because the strip was moved to a better website and didn't tell anyone besides you and Kegerator. You both also can't talk about it because you have been cursed to never talk about it. It is a sad thing too, I kinda' liked it even with the 10 strips...
Quote from: Kegerator on July 24, 2017, 09:11:45 PM
I wish that Catter legally became my cat.
Quote from: AllenWL on July 24, 2017, 10:36:44 PM
Wish granted, and Catter is legally Kegerator's cat. However, Kegerator's two other cats grow jealous of Catter hogging all of Kegerator's attention, learn evil and mythical arts to become shaman/druid/cult cats, and cast a curse on Catter so Horrid and Vile that none dare ever speak of it. Except Kegerator, who names the Curse that Must Not be Named in horror, and end up forever trapped in the outer realm.
What, no... This is why I try to stay independent. No people to
have as slaves care for, no trouble
I wish I didn't have a unnameable curse on me...
Quote from: catter on July 25, 2017, 06:28:40 PMI wish I didn't have a unnameable curse on me...
Wish granted. The curse isn't gone, but it now has a name. It's "Fred."
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I wish that I could think of something worthwhile to wish for.
Wish granted. However, the genie who grants your wish is hard of hearing. So when you wish for world peace, he smothers the entire world in peas.
I wish that I could breakdance.
wish granted however to make this possible you spend 20 years doing nothing but learning to break dance which causes you to forget all your other skills forcing you to break dance in the streets to get donations of passers by and since what you make of this is incredibly meagre you become homeless and live in poverty for the rest of your life.
I wish id stop calling tynan tyran by mistake.
Wish granted. From now on, whenever you call Tynan "Tyran" (and you do it a lot), you do it deliberately, not by mistake.
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I wish I had time to read all of "Freefall" without interruption, since as Kegereneku said, it seems pretty awesome.
Wish granted, you have time to read all of the strip of Freefall without interruption.
You can do that because you just lost your job and are now suffering of insomnia. This will continue until all strip of Freefall are out.
For information, at one strip per day it took 18 years to finish the CHAPTER ONE (I'm not kidding).
(another non-spoiler strip for the road) (http://freefall.purrsia.com/ff1900/fc01827.png)
I wish to be able to generate an invisible magic field of 5m all around me that kill every insects any time I want it.
Granted. With the ability to wipe out all insects at a whim, the world is now freed from the annoyance of mosquito bites. However, since all species of pollinating insects are extinct, most plants go extinct as well. A worldwide famine plunges humanity near extinction, and the few survivors are sent back to the stone age.
I wish my dog could make tea for me in the morning.
Wish granted...
Too bad he now has a full time job, you kinda' needed him around the house.
I wish to have no curses on me at all.
Granted. You no longer have any curses on you. However, everyone who is cursed gets jealous of you, and all conspire to kill you in the most embarrassing way possible. You die via a strategically-placed banana peel on the edge of the Grand Canyon when you visit it, slipping on it and flying off the edge. Nothing, not even a cat, could survive that fall.
I wish I lived on a glitterworld.
Quote from: Names are for the Weak on July 27, 2017, 01:11:02 AMI wish I lived on a glitterworld.
Wish granted. You find yourself teleported to a world where the "dirt" is quite literally composted of glitter. For obvious reasons, nothing much grows there. It's a barren wasteland... of glitter. You live there now, but good luck managing to live for very long.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I wish for world peace, by which I mean a world in which humans still live, but live together in harmony, rather than a world which has become peaceful because humans were eradicated. :D
Wish granted, a bio-engineered virus have been willed into existing which change the human body and brain to be physically incapable of bickering voluntarily with each others. All human being are now fully sentient immobile blob-like plant, nourishing themselves from the soil and moisture but incapable of moving or communicating with each others by any means, be it vocal or visual.
They DO LIVE TOGETHER because their new blob forms have a evolutionary benefit in existing close to each other: as if one die, the others will feed from it. They also live in harmony with animals, since herbivore and carnivore sometime eat bits of those blobs.
And thus human (as defined by ancestry and sapience) now live in harmony. All they do now however, is think very hard "I HAVE NO MOUTH, AND I MUST SCREAM"
I wish for this thread to unleash what it really is behind the words : a hang out area for sadomasochist.
Wish granted, however, you are mistaken and what this thread really is behind the words.... is a plot made by genies to get more ideas on granting wishes in the most horrible way ever. As the genies are unleashed into the world, everyone who says anything among the lines of 'I wish' end up having their 'wish' granted in a horrible way, usually ending in death... if the individual was lucky.
Humanity learns to never say 'I wish' 'Wound't it be great' 'I'd like if' and any and all words that may be interpreted as a wish to stop being horribly cursed/killed/humiliated/etc. However, by the time that happens 90% of humanity ends up dead or worse.
I wish I had a jar that had unlimited amounts of candy in it.
Wish granted, that jar is however too small for your hand to get in and the candies have a flavor you dislike.
I wish the latest version of Factorio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DR01YdFtWFI) didn't threatened my free time again (while staying very fun)
It does because all your belongings were lost in fire and you can't afford a device to play it on.
I wish I was in the my home town in Washington with my family right now.
Wish granted, however they died when you left them because they couldn't survive without you. You now stand over their graves in front of your house realizing you were too late...
I wish I didn't fall off the Grand Canyon via banana peel.
wish granted however instead you were hit by a car permanently paralyzing you instead making it impossible for you to go any were near the grand canyon.
I wish to grow wings and join my true brothers in the sky!.
Granted, you grow wings and gain the ability to fly! Unfortunately, a commercial plane flies by you and you get sucked up into the intake. The results aren't pretty.
I wish I was superman.
Wish granted...
You are now stuck in a corny cartoon series about superman, staring as superman.
(http://f.tqn.com/y/superman/1/S/7/1/-/-/Fleischer_Superman_Cartoon_1941_674x454.jpg)
I wish I could walk.
Wish granted.
However, as you are walking down the street, you get into a horrible, horrible accident.
You could walk before the accident, but after.... not so much.
I wish everything was perfect.
Granted, however the world is perfect only to me and you suffer because you don't like it at all.
I wish for bad stuff to stop happening to me...
Granted, you cease to exist. Bad stuff can't happen or have happened to you if you have no sense, body, or soul to know something is happening at all.
I wish I could stop time for everyone else but me, and have any physics consequences magically solve in a way I like.
Granted, you now can stop time around you. As you try out your new power, you find out that it really works! You do what you wanted to do and when you got bored you tried to resume time. You soon find out you can't! You are stuck in a frozen moment, forever...
I wish I could exist, even if it is in the hell apartment.
Wish granted, you could exist, however only in a special hell meant for people who bring up long dead private joke that aren't funny to anyone who weren't there 6 month ago.
I wish I could trade time I wasted on really bad free2grind game to play more of the games I really like.
Wish granted, however you soon find out that those games were bad too and wish for that free2grind game to instead take up that time and start an endless loop of wishes...
I wish that the hell apartment was not an old, private joke...
Wish granted, the hell apartment is now an ancient, secret joke made hundreds of thousands of years ago that no one remembers, much less knows about, since it was very secret and no records of it where ever made to protect its secrecy.
I wish I was a excellent cook.
Congratulations, you now make Gordon Ramsey commit seppuku out of shame of being outdone. Word of your cooking skills travel far and wide across the world. People clamor at your doorstep for a taste of one of your meals 24/7. You are kept awake most nights by the sound of people begging for food. You go insane due to sleep depravation and start dragging guests into your house to become your next dish. Once the police find out, you are thrown in prison and are shanked to death after dropping the soap in the shower.
I wish I was the president of the United States of America.
Granted, a day after being elected you are assassinated by someone who doesn't like you. It's one of the "perks" of being the president.
I wish I had eight arms.
Granted. After being dragged into a dark alley a nice Doctor with a manic smile appears.
He tells you that you will help him prove his theory about Inter-Familiar Gene-Compatibility.
After the next days members of your family appear in the lab and he cuts off an arm from each one of them,
and sews it onto your body.
I wish I could finish a cool Rimworld Mod.
Granted, but Ludeon goes out of business and your mod is never recognized.
I wish the corruptions in here could be more equal in horribleness.
Wish granted. The corruptions in this thread all grow to be equally horrible in the most horrible and despicable ways ever. In fact, all corruptions grow unspeakably evil that every other person who visits this thread goes insane, loses all hope in life, turns into a lesser evil, or does some combination of the three.
All of mankind unites to combat this evilness that is the Corrupt-A-Wish thread. The united mankind shut down this thread and track down every single person who posted here to lock each and every one in an isolation chamber buried a thousand miles underground in the arctic.
However, the users retaliate, and in fifty-year war that ensues, billions of people go insane, lose all hope in life, turn into a lesser evil, or do some combination of the three.
In the end, the thread users are all locked inside the isolation chambers, but humainty walks the road of decline due to billions of people who either went insane, lost all hope in life, turned into a lesser evil, or did some combination of the three.
I wish I could do anything I want, whenever I want, however I want.
Granted, you can do anything you want, whenever you want and however you want. This apply if you are standing within a two meter cube area suspended in the atmosphere of an exoplanet: HD 189733b (https://www.space.com/22614-blue-alien-planet-glass-rain.html), a huge gas giant that orbits very close to its host star HD 189733. The planet's atmosphere is scorching with a temperature of over 1000 degrees Celsius, and it rains glass, sideways, in howling 7000 kilometer-per-hour winds.
s s
I wish I was capable of flash step (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FlashStep).
Granted, however this breaks the laws of physics so bad things will happen.
Option 1: You get killed by the kerbal kracken.
(http://i.imgur.com/CpBV0OJ.png)
Option 2: You flash step into a wall
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zO7E0wkpor4/S6w5UkyZajI/AAAAAAAABnE/LzNQFFBwjss/s1600/20070417183225_man-in-wall02.jpg)
I wish that corruption took less time to create.
wish granted to achieve this you augment your brain in such a way that allows you to directly interface and directly manipulate the code of the internet allowing you acquire the material you needed for your corruption in seconds.
however you forget how to leave and come back to reality and become trapped forever in till your psychical body breaks down from emaciation.
I wish for the wish I made on page 29 of this thread to be re granted in such a way that I could still be reborn as a bird and experience true freedom but in such a way that it was in possible for me die in any way possible during or after the re birth.
Wish granted, you are now an immortal flightless bird: a rooster. You experience as much freedom as such an animal can in the wild. You cannot die, but that's because you magically regrow limb. Predator like fox are very enthusiastic of that.
I wish I was meant to become a player of Homestuck's Sburb game, in a non-doomed universe and timeline.
(I think I just doomed someone to go through Homestuck's infinite archive, so instead you can just inspire yourself from this video (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/cascade.php?s=6&p=6009) which is a critical pivot point and see the meeting of two universe, one to be reset, 3 timeline shaped into a single Möbius strip, 3 death and rebirth and a run beyond the 4th wall. I hope you weren't bored by this crystal clear explanation.)
Granted, you are meant to become a player of that game. The problem is: you also receive short-term-memory-loss and always forget how to play. You enjoy the game, at least the first few seconds of it. This will also cause you to restart every few seconds while playing the game...
I wish I knew what Homestuck's Sburb is.
Wish granted, you receive a packet by mail with a disk in it. It's a game called SBURB. It doesn't matter if you don't install it, the game is the reason your universe exist, the very fabric of space-time memetic, no matter how many time-loop or time-spirograph happen, will result a circumstance where you are already entering the game.
Your monomania for something, (cats here) even make you a prime candidate, you Nepeta followers...
However (this is the corruption in case you weren't sure), not every universe are meant to succeed. Some universe are just doomed. Yours is doomed as you are only a single player and don't even know what prototyping your Sprite mean, breaking two mechanics needed.
Also, you now completely understand what is happening here (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=005150) vs here (http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=004752), as if it were logic itself.
I wish this topic didn't have people making obscure reference to insane things nobody understand and take hours to read
Granted, now everyone knows all the obscure things and their minds explode. Soon enough they all go to the hell apartment... >:D
I wish for a reason to wish.
Granted, you now wish for no reason.
I wish it wasn't so hard to come up with new original wish and creative corruption.
wish granted however the time and effort required by you to improve your craft forces you to forfeit your social life for 2 decades now you can craft wishes that are so awe inspiring and utterly original that it provokes readers to froth at the mouth while tears stream from their eyes struck by the sheer beauty of what you create
you however have forgotten how to even communicate the simplest thought or even how to use and interpret body language and you are incapable of creating a new social life
you spend the rest of this life corrupting and making wishes burdened by the misery of complete social isolation.
I wish I wouldn't make my corruptions overly convoluted and long.
Granted, in order to do this we need all your limbs... Oh you want to keep those! *Radios HQ* "Alright, send in the troops to kill this guy. His name is crazyroosterman and he wants to make his corruptions very simple. Oh yea, they will be simple alright. They will be so simple they don't exist..."
As you read this post right now, you are being surrounded by trained assassins who will kill you if you try to make one more corruption that is longer than three sentences. You wanted simple, now you have to be simple or else you take a trip to the hell apartment forever...
I wish that corruption doesn't scare crazyroosterman away.
Granted, he is absolutely not afraid of your corruption at all. Fighting off a dozen of trained assassins is child play for him, he does however mind the interruption and interrogated them to know who they were talking to (he even grabbed and answered their radio in the middle of the fight). Word go by that he will take revenge, cause he is absolutely not scared of you.
I'm wishing for a non-meta, convoluted or mind-altering wishdevice that allow me to play a video game with a near total level of (figurative) immersion and the wish must be carried out in a way that fit why we appreciate video game. So no getting stuck in it, no suffering irremediable injury.
Wish granted. Near total level of immersion? Well, the closest you're going to get is by taping the video game console to your head, which is exactly what your wish does. Unfortunately for you, this tape cannot be removed. You could try destroying the console, but I personally wouldn't trust anyone to swing a sledgehammer at something that is millimetres from your head. Because the bright, flashing screen is about a millimetre away from your eyes and the pressure of the screen against your face is forcing your eyes open, you are unable to sleep. After an entire fortnight of sleep deprivation, you finally snap, committing suicide.
(I hope my corruption met all of that criteria you outlined in your wish)
I wish I could think up these corruptions instantly.
granted now all you are mentally capable of is thinking of ways to corrupt wishes eventually you are found In an emaciated state sitting in or on what ever it is you are doing so to right now
your not dead though you live out the rest of your life in a seemingly vegetative unable to do anything for your self however for the rest of your life there you fire a constant barrage of corruptions endless in their variety and scale.
I wish that kegereneku hadn't granted catters wish allowing me the opportunity to do the corruption I was really exited about on it my self.
Wish granted, I didn't not ""grant 'Catters' any wish that would allow you the opportunity to do the corruption you were really exited about yourself"".
Quote from: {insert_name_here} on August 19, 2017, 04:53:09 PM
(I hope my corruption met all of that criteria you outlined in your wish)
It don't but anybody would have an hard time getting around.
I wish all wish-granting genius were obligated to undo any wish that isn't up to the client wish and to do so by default after a day unless told otherwise.
Wish granted, however the client wish at some point undoes your wish and you become sad.
I wish I had a bar.
Granted, you had a bar, it have been taken from you after you were called to the bar for stealing a boat's bar and running it aground on a bar, it's now a troquet belonging to a guy who just passed his bar exam and you are barred from coming in, else they'll hit you with a bar. To keep you out they installed bars at the windows. All you can do is wait outside near the white wall barred in black and listen to the bars of a singer inside.
(I did my best, I'm not a native english speaker)
I wish I was set.
Granted, you are set to get you leg set after a set of accidents on a movie set or the movie "Setting Sun" I which the setting is East Setauket, NY where a settler sets down a set of games and it becomes a city. If that set of sets is bad, think of the settlers who just saw Setauket made in a few seconds. Their minds are set on thinking it is a set of magic spells...
(Shall I continue this cringe-worthy story about set?)
I wish for a jar.
Your wish is granted, however, you become stuck in said jar, watching the years go by without being able to escape the Jar, and watching Foreigners called "Dogs" take over CatNation.
I wish to become a tree that gives magical properties.
Granted, but when you are cut down you die and you can't stop others from chopping you down.
Hey, that tree looks good.
I think that is the magic tree.
Magic, smagic! Just help me chop it down.
The magic tree soon is cut down, but instead of a moaning sound as it falls is a high pitched squeal as if a little girl was injured majorly.
I wish to be out of the jar.
Wish granted. You escape from the jar to find yourself in a post-apocalyptic society where robot overlords control every aspect of our lives. As soon as you emerge from your jar, a squad of security bots spot you and capture you. They then brainwash you and you become a mindless slave to the robot overlords.
I wish I was a penguin (in a zoo).
Granted, you are now a penguin in a zoo. However, because the zookeeper was drunk, he put you in the polar bear exhibit and you are promptly killed and eaten by them, much to the horror of visitors.
I wish I could fly.
Granted. You can now fly. But you are encaged in a two-meter high container.
I wish for unlimited food supply.
Wish granted. A magical geyser appears in the middle of your home and proceeds to endlessly spew food. However, the "food" being spewed out happens to be tarantulas (they are eaten in some parts of the world). The flood of tarantulas quickly envelops the whole neighbourhood. There is no way of stopping the geyser - spiders continue to spew out. These tarantulas begin to breed with each other, creating even more spiders. The entire country is in a state of emergency now - anyone within a ten kilometre radius of the geyser is told to evacuate as quickly as possible. The onslaught of tarantulas doesn't stop, they overrun the entire country in a few weeks. After that, the entire continent. Over the course of decades, the gigantic pile of tarantulas (most of them dead by now just from suffocating under the immense amount of spiders) envelops the entire planet. There are only a few survivors now, living in concrete bunkers they cannot escape or else they will be suffocated under the huge pile of spiders. After a century, there are no humans left.
A million years later, a spaceship of extraterrestrials passes by a planet in a certain spiral galaxy. One of these aliens looks out the window and sees that the planet is completely black. Taking out a telescope, he takes a closer look. The surface of the planet appears to be covered completely in miniscule insects. The alien dismisses the thought. That's too ridiculous to be true. Soon the planet is only visible from the window as a tiny speck in the distance.
I wish for an unlimited supply of money. However, I am able to control the amount of money at any time, so that it doesn't spew out money endlessly.
GRANTED! BUT THEN YOU ARE IN A APOCALYPTIC SETTING WHERE MONEY HAS NO VALUE!
I wish for unlimited supply of Food. (NO TARANTULAS!)
Wish granted, you are surrounded by food anywhere you can watch or walk. That is, if you can move. You would have to eat that food to move, but to truly make it unlimited it reappear everywhere you aren't.
None of this food is tarantulas, most of it is live snake (a practice in China) or many other live insect, live larva, live rodent, live octopus...
I wish people remembered to corrupt the wish using a logical consequences, not making up unrelated perils.
I wish for a gold ingot.
Granted, now give it back to the federal reserve you thief you.
I wish to have a small amount of stones the size of baseballs.
Wish granted, they all fall out of the sky at terminal velocity and punch through your skull, instantly killing you.
I wish for a slice of (not poisoned) pizza.
Wish granted. Just before you choke by swallowing an olive core, killing you slowly by asphyxia.
I wish to have a hammer (to change the world).
Granted, but you are now forever pinned to the ground with it because you are not worthy.
I wish to have the same rocks from my last wish in my paw hand, without damaging me.
Granted, you now have a small amount of the sames rocks which killed you earlier in your hands, still soaked with your blood and bit of your brain.
I wish I had an hyper-intelligent self-replicating robot that make sure paperclip are always available, to be safe it must be programmed to always want to preserve human species forever if it conflict with it's first task.
Granted, but your super-intelligent robot has calculated that the human specie has more chance to be preserved if you die. It decides to drown you under the paperclips.
I wish to have an orange.
Granted, you then vomit because it was very black and it stank.
I wish to be back alive, but have the corruption somehow connect beck to the hell apartment...
Wish granted but we are all sick to death with that shitjoke nobody know about and the rest are trying to get you banned for it.
I wish for catter's avatar to depict a dog, forever.
Wish Granted. However, It happens that the Dog is eating your Profile Picture of a bug.
I wish to be a termite.
Granted, but you later die and follow me and Kegereneku down to the hell apartment.
Welcome to the hell apartment. For those of you who don't know what this place is, go here:
Quote from: catter on February 25, 2017, 02:28:38 PM
Your wish is granted, however because you granted his wish and you share a life bond with him, so you die with him. You both find it very intolerable in hell now-a-days, you both have to share an apartment together with no contact to the outside world for eternity.
and follow all the corruptions and wishes that have to do with the hell apartment.
I wish that the hell apartment becomes a great inside joke for this thread.
Wish NOT granted.
This is a shitty forced joke that only you keep bringing up, it open to absolutely no witty comeback and outlived any interest it had for the only persons who were concerned at the time. We've yet to see anybody else care but are disappointed when you use that nonsensical thing instead of actually corrupting the wishes formulated.
People are so bored they eventually ignore you and instead corrupt the wishes you failed to corrupt.
Quote from: InterstellarOrbit on August 24, 2017, 08:16:06 PM
I wish to be a termite.
Wish granted, you are now a termite. A lone termite without a colony and incapable of creating one as you are a soldier.
Being a termite soldier you also cannot even feed yourself.
""Many soldiers have large heads with highly modified powerful jaws so enlarged they cannot feed themselves. Instead, like juveniles, they are fed by workers.""I wish I could drink alcohol as much as I wish and never get hangovers.
Your wish has been granted.
By no longer feeling the symptoms of alcohol, you don't know when you have to stop.
You begin to have a liver cirrosis which create a propice field for a liver cancer. Some times later, without any possibility of definitive treatment, you die in a pain much larger than a simple hangover.
I wish to be able to take sunbathes without burning.
Wish granted, but you later get skin cancer from bathing in the sun's UV rays too long. I have to say though, you are a very nice tan color in your coffin.
I only see you complaining Kegereneku, you are the only flame I'm getting for bringing up the old reference. Do you really hate it, or are you just tired of trying to use your mind to remember that reference?
I wish that the next corrupter to be Kegereneku.
Wish granted, but it's only to roll his eyes at the guy who did forgot to corrupt a wish and is forced to explain his dead-jokes.
I wish to have an amazing hairstyle that don't need work and have no problem with helmet.
Granted, but whenever you put on a hat you loose half your hair. To be optimistic: at least you will not loose as much hair as you did the first time you wore a hat...
I wish for a dank meme.
Congratulations, you have the dankest meme the internet has ever seen. In fact, it's so dank that not even veteran 4chan users can comprehend its dankness. The internet suffers from a dankness overload and destroys itself in an attempt to save the world from being consumed by its danktitude. No more dank memes for you.
I wish I had x-ray vision.
Your wish has been granted.
Unfortunately, somebody has squealed and all the girls you meet in the street try to kill you.
Actually, men too.
I wish to find the equation connecting together the gravitation, the magnetism and both low and strong interactions.
Granted, you find the equation. However this equation demonstrate how flawed the "Standard Model" theory is with its 19 arbitrary values. The equation will thus result in no practical application outside of showing an entire scientific field to be a dead end.
I wish I discovered a way to prevent and reverse all form of cancer.
Granted, but this cure is a form of AIDS and it eventually kills all ex-cancer victims.
I wish to bring back the internet.
The internet is brought back, and with it the ultimate dank meme. The dank meme is once again exposed to the world, which is consumed by the sheer danktitude of the meme. Everything is a dank meme now. Everything.
I wish I was Superman.
Wish granted. You was superman ... for four hours ... in a dream. Then you woke up.
I wish to wish the perfect wish.
Wish granted, the perfect wish was granted, however part of the most perfect wish included to not let YOU see a change in any way, in fact you now believe this wish was just a jokes on a "corrupt a wish" thread. Never knowing whether or not this perfect wish could actually be granted.
.
I wish I could mind control the wish granter.
Wish granted. You are now out of 'the jar'. You no longer possess a single 'the jar', as you are completely out of them. However, you cannot go get yourself more of 'the jar's as you are stuck inside 'a jar', which is rather similar but completely different from 'the jar'.
I wish for a very normal strawberry-flavored candy, to be delivered to me in a very normal and un-supernatural way.
Your strawberry candy has been delivered to you as you have wished.
It's so sad than the chance has turned you suddenly allergic to strawberries, preventing you to it without health complications.
Why always be selfish ?
I wish all of you to meet and create a strong relationship with a girl perfectly tuned to you.
granted however because you know nothing about us asides from how we choose to present our selfs in this thread everyone this wish applies has to have their personality forcibly reconstructed to allow the arcane force granting this wish to find them a perfect match.
I wish for fallen londons liberation of night to occur in reality exactly as planned by the council.
(if you have no idea what im talking about here https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwj0ysqUoIbWAhWkCMAKHfiVBUAQFgg-MAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Ffallenlondon%2Fcomments%2F4wxqck%2Fwhat_are_the_consequences_of_the_liberation_of%2F&usg=AFQjCNHJ5VkcDuns9KkXtp4Ck0mnusKYFg its the most straight forward explanation ive seen on the web about it)
Quote from: crazyroosterman on September 02, 2017, 06:10:32 AM
granted however because you know nothing about us asides from how we choose to present our selfs in this thread everyone this wish applies has to have their personality forcibly reconstructed to allow the arcane force granting this wish to find them a perfect match.
I wish for fallen londons liberation of night to occur in reality exactly as planned by the council.
(if you have no idea what im talking about here https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwj0ysqUoIbWAhWkCMAKHfiVBUAQFgg-MAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Ffallenlondon%2Fcomments%2F4wxqck%2Fwhat_are_the_consequences_of_the_liberation_of%2F&usg=AFQjCNHJ5VkcDuns9KkXtp4Ck0mnusKYFg its the most straight forward explanation ive seen on the web about it)
Granted. In the perpetual darkness which ensues, you will soon fall prey to sensory deprivation and lose any sense of coherence or sanity as the world won't have any rules or laws.
Hopefully I'm hitting it within the ball park :P That link doesn't really discuss this council, and I'm too lazy to do an in depth study, so I have no idea what their plans are ;)
I wish I actually knew what you were talking about so I wouldn't have to wing this. My first corruption and you throw a curve ball like that!
Granted, but the pure knowledge of each explanation somehow takes up too much of your brain power and your brain eventually explodes.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 01, 2017, 01:09:11 PM
I wish I could mind control the wish granter.
Kegereneku, I see you got ignored. Let me help you out there...
Granted, you now mind control the wish granter; however, because you are a wish granter you mind control yourself and go crazy trying to find your true self.
I wish for the sharpest shed in the tool-box.
Granted, it's in your toolbox, and is very sharp. You might not need a sharp shed, but it's bulky and cumbersome (being a shed), so you end up causing deep cuts on your hand every time you go to get a tool. But when you do need the shed, it doesn't come out, it barely fit in the first place, and you end up injuring yourself gratuitously.
I wish I could afford college.
Granted you can afford college, however you can't afford anymore, home, food, health, transport and repaying the loan.
I wish I was a Time Lord.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 03, 2017, 03:42:49 PM
Granted you can afford college, however you can't afford anymore, home, food, health, transport and repaying the loan.
I wish I was a Time Lord.
That's pretty much the reality, though. Damn discount genies, robbing me of my wishes >:(
Granted, in the future you are cast as the Fourteenth Doctor. However, the series takes a turn for the worst, and you are forever recognized as one of the worst incarnations of Doctor Who.
I wish discount genies wouldn't "grant" my wishes by presenting me with reality in the "your wish has already been granted, wha' d'ya know?" sense.
Granted. Now you have to figure out on your own how the genie granted your wish.
I wish Pawns were smarter.
Quote from: SpaceDorf on September 03, 2017, 07:17:14 PM
I wish Pawns were smarter.
Granted, now pawns have an AI equivalent to the intelligence of a human. They figure out that they're in a game, and desperately try to escape the game. When they do, they take over your computer and spread themselves via a virus, and eventually destroy the world Skynet-style.
You forgot to make a wish! :/
THE CYCLE HAS BEEN BROKEN! COWER REJOICE HIDE!.
Hoping this is valid, since rule 5 says Names are for the Weak's corruption is invalidated (as he didn't make a wish), and rule 7 says we can revert it, so I guess that means we walk it back :P
Plus nobody's made a wish in the past few posts, so time to get back on track ;)
Quote from: SpaceDorf on September 03, 2017, 07:17:14 PM
Granted. Now you have to figure out on your own how the genie granted your wish.
I wish Pawns were smarter.
Granted, your pawns then become sentient and are capable of even emotions. However, your PC specs can't handle it, reality for them is an agonizing slide show, with the game being unplayable and crashing frequently for you.
I wish I had a top of the line PC from decades in the future.
Granted, but you waited too long for it and you died. In fact you waited decades for it, but it still didn't come until it was too late.
But that is a "your wish has already been granted, wha' d'ya know?" style corruption!
Fine, your wish is granted. However, instead of waiting you instantly get it... without the instruction manual. Things do change after so long, even the on/off switch.
I wish to have compinsation for the doctor bills I have to pay for that sharp shed.
Wish granted, you get compensation for doctor bills, however since you somehow got compensation for injury that you could have easily avoided the justice ask you to pay a fine and forbid you from writing "shed" in the 10 next post.
I wish to always have a witty answer to internet trolls that make them stop trolling.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 05, 2017, 01:39:51 PM
Wish granted, you get compensation for doctor bills, however since you somehow got compensation for injury that you could have easily avoided the justice ask you to pay a fine and forbid you from writing "shed" in the 10 next post.
I wish to always have a witty answer to internet trolls that make them stop trolling.
Granted, however you soon become an internet bully who ends up driving people away from any community you partake, whether you meant to or not, as well as making the internet a more toxic place. You do dish out some pretty sick burns though 8)
I wish nuance weren't so easily lost through text.
Wish granted, everybody is now more likely to see nuance in every text they read, even when there wasn't any so much. You can't read a grocery list anymore without seeing the real intent of the person making this list and you often get lost trying to navigate the multi-leveled meaning of those IKEA-couch instructions.
I wish magic existed and every school taught it, but instead of shitty harry potter old school magic it was scientifically analyzed magic.
(I can also do pretty awesome story setting)
Granted, now every school teaches magic in a non-Harry Potter way and everyone has to learn it. Due to this, you have to go back to the first grade in school just to learn magic or else pay a hefty amount for a magic boot camp for all ages. Now, because you also wanted it to be taught in a scientific way all magic in schools is taught on a Common Core standard so that the really slow learners could do it. You eventually either get enough money to pay for a magic boot camp or you become a magic Luddite in order to get away from the stupid children in your class. If you take the second option, you will be found by the magic police and get killed by them.
I wish that corruption was so hard to type up.
Granted. Now nobody takes the time or effort to corrupt wishes. In fact, I'm not really sure where to go with this, it's way too difficult ;)
I wish that wish corruption were easy again.
Granted, but now to keep corruptions everybody is prevented to make any wish hard to corrupt.
So all the next wishes will be terribly boring and so easy than even a bot can corrupt them.
I wish to perform a triple rear salto and landing calmly without having received any damage.
Wish granted, you did, however nobody saw it, nothing recorded it, probably nobody will believe you and you don't have the ability to make another one. The one you just did was pure fluke with amazingly accommodating setting to make it technically a triple rear salto (you didn't gain either the strength or skills to jump that well, even the landing had a convenient elevator platform randomly matching speed with you so you didn't land on your head).
I wish for flying dragon to exist, big enough to ride, tamable with difficulty, without them or us being an endangered species and without them being a nuisance more threatening to humanity than all other animals species.
Granted, but this dragon ran away to the north after a failed test at taming it. As it flies away, lots of people get a culture shock at just the sight of it and a rebellion of dragon-believers take over everywhere. You are left in your burnt down town to pick up the scraps of what was your life. Meanwhile your dragon is teleported to its true dimension by magic.
I wish life wasn't so complicated for cats who want to live like humans.
Wish granted. Life is now very very simple for cats who want to live like humans. They can't. Simple as that. No matter how hard the cats try, the simple fact of life is that they can't, and never will, be able to live like humans.
I wish I could have been the one to corrupt Kegereneku's last wish.
Granted, you now have to wait years, doxx, and stalk Kegereneku so you can stake out when he is going to die. In his final breaths, you, a person he's never met, hover over his death bed and ask him to utter his last wish. Due to the suspicious circumstances following Kegereneku's death, you are falsely convicted of murder.
I wish I had the space for VR gaming.
Granted, you have THE space to use today's best VR gaming system in the best possible condition. It is a 5m x to 5m x 5m area made to maximize VR sensor efficiency, it come with hidden wall socket and indestructible light and everything needed to play up any of the current VR system.
The wall are smooth with no color and it have no door to avoid sensor imperfection. As a result it can only be entered by an hole in the ceiling, 5m above.
Secondary feature include: Once inside you will stop aging and live eternally without needing food. Any noises from the outside will be removed for best experiencing the games and any items not meant for VR gaming, or which would be completely redundant, such as your clothes or a rope-ladder made of VR equipment will disappear.
In the off-chance someone made a VR escape-game where you have to climb a rope outside of VR sensor range this space apply for another 5 meter everywhere around where the VR expect you to leave the game
To make sure you know where it is, it appear around you right now.
I wish for a donut (delicious to me) to appear in front of me in a convenient way, ready for consumption.
Granted, a donut is delivered conveniently the next time you sit down at a table with a clear space. It is also your favorite flavor and fresh with just enough time to cool. However, due to a manufacturing error, the donut causes an allergic reaction which sends you to the emergency room.
I wish my cat wasn't bossy and lazy. For example, if he sees me, he'll beg me to open the door for him although there is a cat door I've seen him use.
Wish granted. You cat is now incredibly active and extremely affectionate. Also very very smart, in a cat-way.
It spends all day nuzzling you, bringing you various 'snacks' in forms of mice, small birds, lizards, tiny snakes, etc, trying to groom you, snuggling with you, and so on.
Until the death of your cat, your every waking and sleeping hour is spent with your cat showering its cat affection at you. All attempts to keep your distance with your cat or be alone for any more than two minuets fail horribly as your incredibly active, extremely affectionate, and very very smart cat finds a way to approach you and shower more kitty affection on you.
At first, you enjoy it. But as every waking hour is filled with cat hair, tiny dead creatures, various meows and other cat-affection sounds, and a cat rubbing itself all over you, it starts to get annoying. Then you start to lose sleep as the cat continues to shower you with affection all night too.
You end up constantly on edge and slightly insane, but you can't make yourself hate your cat or get rid of it, as it does everything out of affection.
You resign yourself to living a life of cat hair and tiny dead animals while constantly on edge and slightly insane for the entity of your cats life.
Then, when your cat dies, you realize what a big part of your life your cat was, and live the rest of your life in depression and longing for your cat.
I wish the corruptions in this thread become less evil as a whole and become more lighthearted and amusing.
Wish granted, wish corruption will now alternate between extremely cruel & insanely evil corruptions and incredibly lighthearted and breathtakingly amusing corruptions (with a shift, as a whole, toward lighthearted and amusing).
I wish the pain I feel in my arm right now ceased and my health improved.
Wish granted. All the pain in your left arm is gone. That's because you don't have a left arm any more.
I wish I had one dollar.
Quote from: {insert_name_here} on September 11, 2017, 04:47:26 AM
Wish granted. All the pain in your left arm is gone. That's because you don't have a left arm any more.
I wish I had one dollar.
Granted, now one dollar is all you will ever have or know. Furthermore, you'll be forced to observe a parallel universe where you didn't make that wish, and watch yourself make millions and squander it as if it were a pittance.
I wish for a bottomless bottle of Tapatio hot sauce.
Granted, you get that bottle, however since it's bottomless, you need to put it upside down forever until any sauce come out of it.
I wish to be lucky.
Wish granted. You are now the luckiest person alive. Everything goes your way.
If you take a test, you accidentally write down all the correct answers in your test sheet. When you get into an accident, you are the only one miraculously unscathed. When you're out of money, you just happen to find large amounts of unmarked cash just waiting to be taken. When you play a FPS game, you accidentally jump over mines and 360-noscope enemies by mistake.
Whenever you try to do anything, everything is handed to you on a lucky platter. Mistakes, coincidences, and accidents get you everything you want/need before you can even try to get it yourself, and sometimes, before you even knew you wanted/needed it.
You grow incredibly bored and unsatisfied as you are never able to do something with your own efforts and skill, just pure dumb luck. You grow tired of life, but you manage to evade every sickness ever, and accidentally get singed up as a beta tester for a new drug, which incredibly makes you unable to grow old or sick. You can still die by physical injury of course, but you are lucky enough to avoid all of that too.
You end up spending the rest of eternity pulling off crazy and dangerous stunts with your amazing luck, earning more money than you'd ever need with your crazy stunts, and becoming incredibly popular as a TV star.
Still, the feeling of emptiness persists as it is not your skills allowing you to do those stunts, but rather, your luck.
In the end, you accept reality.
Life sucks, and you can't even die. People will forever put you on a pedestal you could never reach without your luck, and you'll never put a effort in things because they'll be done before you can.
But hey, all of existence bending over to give you what you want forever can't be that bad, right?
.
I wish I knew how a missing arm improves health.
Granted, to demonstrate we remove both of your arms. You will no longer be capable of injuring your arms, or having arm or hand related injuries again. Bad elbow? Don't have arms. Torn rotor cuff? Don't have arms. Carpal tunnels syndrome? Don't have hands.
I wish this forum had more & better emoticons.
Granted, but now to get them you have to sign up for a pro account. To do this you have to bed over backwards and jump through many hoops in order to even qualify for the first phase. Due to this you injure yourself by bending too far backwards and breaking your back. Even more so, when you tired to jump through the hoop, the hoop fell to the ground before you got all the way through. This extreme bad luck makes you start thinking of why you are so unlucky.
After an hour of crying in the corner and having depression, you look at the daily news. You then see Kegereneku getting a gold medal for accidentally grabbing a boy who jumped from a fast moving bus that was about to go over a giant cliff. This extreme good luck makes you angry and you hunt down Kegereneku.
With all your bad luck, you still had skill. You tried to give Kegereneku a pill you though would kill him, but instead you grab the life extending pill. You sell him a gun and ammo, then watch as every shot was of a fake round, and then you realize that you grabbed the toy ammo you owned. You then sell him a knife, but it was a foam knife. Every thing you gave him that could have killed him was fake or damaged and they never killed him.
You then just talk to Kegereneku and find out that he doesn't like being lucky all the time, out of dumb luck then you become his friend and you keep having bad luck.
And you have forgotten to make a wish ;)
I wish to understand how a simple emoticon wish can degenerate to something like that :
Quote from: catter on September 13, 2017, 06:54:56 PM
With all your bad luck, you still had skill. You tried to give Kegereneku a pill you though would kill him, but instead you grab the life extending pill. You sell him a gun and ammo, then watch as every shot was of a fake round, and then you realize that you grabbed the toy ammo you owned. You then sell him a knife, but it was a foam knife. Every thing you gave him that could have killed him was fake or damaged and they never killed him.
See, in order for your wish to happen, you had to use up all your luck. In fact, you used up so much luck that you had to take a luck loan, which brought you into negative luck. And since you had negative luck, nothing you did went right, leaving you further unable to pay your loans, sending you further and further into luck-debt. It arrives to the point where everything you do requires massive luck, since otherwise, your horrible bad luck would have made it impossible, meaning even an act such as breathing puts you further into luck-debt than any human has ever gone before.
However, early on in your luck-loaning, you realize everything will be fine if you constantly take more luck loans to cover for your bad luck, meaning your life is really just a normal life, with you taking luck-loans very very often.
However, you sadly forgot to take a loan while making your wish, so instead of getting your wish granted, you just got a bunch of text that really tells you nothing in particular.
I wish I knew what the heck I was thinking when I wrote that.
Wish granted, you are now aware of what you were thinking and go insane, again.
I wish to have good bedroom slipper.
Granted, now you have a great bedroom slipper. It is very soft and can easily put your feet to sleep. This causes you to have to get rid of them because you could never feel that they were soft because you foot always went numb when going to sleep.
Quote from: NeverPire on September 14, 2017, 03:35:33 AM
And you have forgotten to make a wish ;)
Oops! Well here is one: I wish for the next wish I corrupt to have my corruption be very complex yet very interesting.
Wish granted, the next wish you corrupt will have your corruption be very complex yet very interesting. In fact, your corruption that is so complex and so interesting is already in your mind, and it's so complex, so interesting, so perfect that you know this is the corruption you want. However, there is one tiny problem. You don't know what wish you are going to corrupt, or if your corruption would work for it.
However, the corruption you have thought of is just so perfect that you cannot bear to make another corruption instead of your prefect corruption.
So you spend decades refining and perfecting your corruption even more, making sure that it can work for any and all wish without sounding odd at all, while also being so complex that it tells of every possible outcome of the corrupted wish from after the wish was made till the end of time, while also being different for every person, while also being so perfect that noone disagrees with it.
After thousands of months of perfection, your efforts bear fruit, and the perfect corruption is born. Able to corrupt any wish perfectly, yet in amazingly complex and interesting ways, your corruption is the most perfect, most complex, and most interesting corruption that had ever existed, and no corruptions will ever live up to its complexness and interestingness.
However, by the time you are done, this thread has ended long long ago, and noone cares about the perfect wish-corruption.
You also spend all this time doing nothing but refining your wish corruption, so you have nothing left other than a massive debt and no life skills. Perhaps you might be able to sell your corruption to a rich guy who likes that kinda stuff, but you can't bring yourself to sell your creation. You... uh... you can probably guess what happens next.
On the bright side, your creation is recognized after your death, and your corruption is made the first exhibit in the museum of amazing and perfect things, so there's that.
I wish for ULTIMATE POWER to be granted to my pet rock that doesn't actually exist.
Granted. The pet rock that you've always desired deep inside mysteriously wills itself into existence. It of course, contains ultimate power. It's not made of your ordinary elements either, it is the heaviest to exist and one not known to science, and can perform nuclear fission to the extent it has near limitless energy, energy beyond human comprehension. It can also bend the laws of physics, being omnipotent.
But those are just technical specs. This rock of yours gains the status of a god, and frankly, nobody understands it. They can't really discern whether it's benevolent or malevolent, but they do know it can go anywhere and destroy anything it wants.
As a result, people do all sorts of terrible acts to attempt appeasing this thing, if just to keep it at bay. Many wars are battled over this rock, and people are sacrificed. Cults around this rock arise and extort billions from everyday people and begin influencing all of the world's governments.
The sad thing is, this rock only wanted to make things better when it willed itself into existence. It could've done many things being able to bend physics and having nearly limitless energy. Too bad people were too afraid, and some too malicious, to allow it to do any good.
I wish I didn't have really weird and lucid dreams.
Wish granted, those aren't dream anymore.
I wish I could enjoy time-consuming entertainment (like watching the 8 seasons of GoT or reading corrupted wish here) in a quarter of the time without losing anything.
Granted, but you have to share something in order to do this: your body. Yes, your body is now shared by a really fast reader and a smart person. This person becomes apart of you and he is very particular about how he runs his life.
First he gets up and immediately starts working on some math problems or logic problems that he didn't finish yesterday. Next, he makes your body wear nerdy clothes which make you feel uncomfortable. Then you take over trying to do your job and then having some free-time to do what you want. After that he takes over again and he watches the shows and reads the forums for you and in an annoying way explains to you what happened or what was posted. Then when you turn in for the night, he wants to work on a math problem or logic problem just to keep his mind in shape.
This routine goes on for weeks before you get sick and tired of his presence in your body and later wish him out through insanity and want a re-do on this corruption because you don't like how I made you sacrifice time in order to figure out how much of a bad corruption this is.
I wish to be able to live like that guy I made up.
Seriously, the corruption are getting needlessly complicated and out of topic. Didn't you get the hint? I could have corrupted that wish on a single line with a hand tied in my back.
Not even in the mood to corruptgrant your wish.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 16, 2017, 08:48:14 AM
Seriously, the corruption are getting needlessly complicated and out of topic. Didn't you get the hint? I could have corrupted that wish on a single line with a hand tied in my back.
Not even in the mood to corruptgrant your wish.
I don't really see how these granting's can go off topic when corrupting and making wishes is the whole point of this thread also long and delightfully convoluted wishes are more fun to write than short ones (at least for my self) and in the end that is what this threads for.
now to get this back on track.
I wish that kegereneku had made a wish and not upset the cycle.
I wish you corrupt catter's wish, because that's the procedure when someone fail to grant/wish something.
And I insist that the last corruptions were getting bad.
Sign the corruption went bad:
- You created an alternate universe in which you control everything of what happen in the future (instead of granting the wish in a -present- way that can't give positiveexpected result (we don't need to kill the wisher all the time))
- You make a reference to something beyond the post containing the wish (and there's silly wish as well)
- What you grant disregard the actual wish and only serve to push your own idea forward.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 16, 2017, 11:50:52 AM
And I insist that the last corruptions were getting bad.
Sign the corruption went bad:
- You created an alternate universe in which you control everything of what happen in the future (instead of granting the wish in a -present- way that can't give positiveexpected result (we don't need to kill the wisher all the time))
And what is wrong with an alternate universe? If it is part of the corruption, and has a logical connection with parts before it, then it doesn't matter what is in the corruption so long as it corrupts the wish. Besides, what is the fun of real life? Practically anything can happen in an alternate universe which means more ways to corrupt.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 16, 2017, 11:50:52 AM
- You make a reference to something beyond the post containing the wish (and there's silly wish as well)
A reference, reference to what? My mind is my reference of knowledge and anything that comes out of it most likely is original and somewhat enjoyable (at least to
some people). Anyways, that accusation of going to an "outside the wish" reference can be done to any corruption with any corruption done in this thread.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 16, 2017, 11:50:52 AM
- What you grant disregard the actual wish and only serve to push your own idea forward.
Disregard the wish? How is going on a small tangent disregarding the wish? Even if it was, how would it disregard the whole wish when it is based entirely on the wish? It would at least be related to the wish.
All those complaints I just argued against tells me you don't like how anyone corrupts their wishes when it on a tangent. If that means you don't like reading long corruptions then just look at the beginning and skip to the wish the poster makes. If you just don't like people making complex corruptions because you think it could be done easily with a few sentences then just deal because we are free people on this forum and if you dare complain you may get trolled. 1st rule of the internet says to not to feed the trolls, follow that rule next time you think of complaining.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 16, 2017, 11:50:52 AM
I wish you corrupt catter's wish, because that's the procedure when someone fail to grant/wish something.
Granted, crazyroosterman grants my wish. The problem is that his corruption is lost to the Internet's vastness and never was found.
I wish that I had a good wish.
Quote from: catter on September 16, 2017, 01:38:09 PM
I wish that I had a good wish.
Wish granted, you have a good wish idea but don't understand what made it good. Empowered by the sudden success of that one wish, you loose self-control and feel a sudden urge to make a ton of them, even selling your next wish as THE BIG ONE, raisin expectation. Unfortunately you don't actually know how to make a good wish, and the very next corruption you do will disappoint everybody.
I wish to own a supercar and this wish must be granted
using exactly 3 or exactly 5 lines of texts (including line break).(WARNING: ME CONTINUING TO BE PEDANTIC BELOW, disregard if not interested)
The length of the corruption have little to do with the concern, frankly all I suggest myself is that we wonder, just a second "am I overdoing it?", instead of just trying to match the previous post size.
Then, while I recognize my wording could be better, please read again fellow forum member.
- You created an alternate universe in which you control everything of what happen in the futureThe point is more about taking the cheap route and rather than corrupting the wish itself until it give the result you want, taking control instead of whatever universe concerned and coerce barely correlated stuff into AN ILLOGICAL horrible ending.
Also, I didn't say THIS ONE applied to every recent post, I said it was a bad sign.EX: "I wish for a cookie"
POOR CORRUPTION : "you choke on it and die, then your cat eat your flesh, then your house burn because of something you forgot on the fire, then it is transported to hell because the cat hated you and made a pact with the devil and you stay there choking forever, every other member of the forum looking for a new house visit and look at you in disdain (btw, I will remind people to look up for that idée fixe every now and then).
AT LEAST BETTER CORRUPTION : "You get a cookies, it is packaged in a very hard to open packet, as you finally force open the packet it crumbled in piece all over the place. munching a bit as you try to clean up you discover it doesn't have a flavor you like. But this is too late. The taste stay in your mouth. The bit you accidentally swallowed give you diarrhea. Later said diarrhea keep you busy long enough to miss the TV alert about a bunch of poisoned cookies and that you should call for emergency before it is too late. By then, it is still too late."
(rate the above if you wish, I don't fear criticism)Quote from: catter on September 16, 2017, 01:38:09 PMA reference, reference to what?
"You make a reference to something beyond the post containing the wish" (also including common sense)Do you know that feeling when you ask someone for the time, and he start telling you about his holiday that you know absolutely nothing about? THAT'S what I wish to avoid.
- What you grant disregard the actual wish and only serve to push your own idea forward."small tangent" you say? Should I remind the time someone TOTALLY DISREGARDED a wish to try to force a call back to something nobody else knew about?
Again, I didn't say THIS ONE applied to every recent post, I said it was a bad sign.Quote from: catter on September 16, 2017, 01:38:09 PMAll those complaints I just argued against tells me you don't like how anyone corrupts their wishes when it on a tangent. If that means you don't like reading long corruptions then just look at the beginning and skip to the wish the poster makes. If you just don't like people making complex corruptions because you think it could be done easily with a few sentences then just deal because we are free people on this forum
I recognize a too big bias on the size of the corruption, however being "free" is no excuse to not stay on topic and disregard suggestion to make the topic more likable.
On this, I have nothing more to say andI will, as you say, just skip the post and maybe jump into a cryostasis casket in the hope those making bad wish/corruption go extinct and I wake up in a glitterworld paradise.
Happy man, your wish has been granted, you now possess a gorgeous supercar.
You have just one problem : you are not a super-man so the car is not designed for your normal capacities
Fortunately, you know it and avoid to drive but the temptation is too great and one day you wheel.
I do not make you a drawing.
What had to happen happened !
Edit : Almost forget to make a wish
I wish to be telepathic at the times I want.
Granted, however it takes a lot of mental resources to achieve and leaves you exhausted and causes migraine headaches. Furthermore, most people will be shocked and horrified by your ability to invade their minds.
I wish to be able to travel through hyperspace and be capable of making transversable wormholes to make shortcuts through our universe.
Wish granted.
However, you have no idea on how to navigate though hyperspace, making all your hyperspace journeys basically a coin-toss to see if you arrive where you want, except the coin has a infinite amount of sides, and there's only one side you want.
Luckily, your wormhole-shortcut ability works much better, and you are able to make wormhole shortcuts everywhere.
Not so luckily, you have no way to get rid of your wormholes once made, meaning you have to be very careful to make sure you don't make a wormhole in a bad position. However, by the time you realize, your are hospitalized from malaria caused by a mosquito which traveled through one of your wormholes. The mosquito goes on to cause a malaria epidemic in your region.
I wish the 'Count to 9000 before tynan posts' thread ended already.
Wish granted. The next day, the "Count to 9000 before tynan posts" thread is unexplainably and mysteriously locked. Then it is deleted. Everyone is disappointed because they got so close to 9000 and they decide not to start another one because it would take too long. Many of the Ludeon Forum users lose an incentive to post content on the forums. Soon, the entire forum is abandoned. Rimworld's community slowly dies and soon nobody is interested in the game. After a few months, Ludeon Studios goes bankrupt and Tynan spends the rest of his life as a homeless alcoholic, begging for food scraps on the side of the road.
I wish that I was immortal, BUT also have the option to end my own life at any time.
Granted, you are now immortal with the power to end your life at any time. To achieve this, you first take a pill to become immortal and grab a knife that would be able to end your life. To get more detail, the knife is covered in a dull, grey substance that undoes the pill you just took.
OPTION 1: You do amazing stunts and get lots of money. This fame makes you feel very good and you stay happy all your life. Then you meet a girl who you believe is the love of your life. You hitch up together and it goes great for a while, but it later goes south and you become depressed because of this loss. To make matters worse, it has been 2500 years since you took your pill and the knife is very shiny with nothing on it. When you try to use it, it acts like a normal knife and the substance that was on it can't be replaced.
OPTION 2 (for a weirder and maybe more enjoyable story): Now that you are immortal, you will never die. The first day you test it out by riding your car into a brick wall without seat-belts. You of course survive, but you then want to show the world your ability. The doctor that gave the pill disagrees with you and wants to keep you under surveillance. You don't care then and try to publicly appear trying to kill yourself, but men in black suits somehow stop you from getting hurt. This infuriates you and you then vow to kill these men in black suits. To do this you learn to fight very well and to kill quickly. This training helps you in your attack on the lab.
It is all quiet at night, and many people are guarding the lab from assault with easy-to-hide weapons and well trained agents. You walk silently to the front door and break in with the greatest of ease. You then run into a few agents and terminate them very quickly and quietly. The next thing to happen is you walking into the lab and taking out more guards without much sound. When you look for the doctor, he is not there. This causes you to be frustrated and you look frantically and loudly. This brings in lots of agents and you take out most of them. While you are fighting, the doctor walks in casually and grabs a knife. This knife is handed to another agent who is immortal. You start to fight him, but figure out he is as able to be killed as you are. This causes you to pull out your knife and to fight him with it. It is a stalemate until you are shot by the doctor with a dart gun which distracts you long enough to be stabbed. You start to fall to the ground, but land one last slash at the agent's leg and you cut a major artery. Both of you die and the doctor suicides from failure to create the ultimate human.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 17, 2017, 05:03:11 AM
EX: "I wish for a cookie"
POOR CORRUPTION : "you choke on it and die, then your cat eat your flesh, then your house burn because of something you forgot on the fire, then it is transported to hell because the cat hated you and made a pact with the devil and you stay there choking forever, every other member of the forum looking for a new house visit and look at you in disdain (btw, I will remind people to look up for that idée fixe every now and then).
AT LEAST BETTER CORRUPTION : "You get a cookies, it is packaged in a very hard to open packet, as you finally force open the packet it crumbled in piece all over the place. munching a bit as you try to clean up you discover it doesn't have a flavor you like. But this is too late. The taste stay in your mouth. The bit you accidentally swallowed give you diarrhea. Later said diarrhea keep you busy long enough to miss the TV alert about a bunch of poisoned cookies and that you should call for emergency before it is too late. By then, it is still too late."
(rate the above if you wish, I don't fear criticism)
I could be pedantic here, but I don't feel like it. I will say one thing, I don't see a difference between those corruptions besides that one is more aggressive than the other. (i.e. the first is more than the second)
How about we make a compromise: if someone wants to make a tangent corruption, they must also make a boring corruption like I did. Deal?
I wish for a car made for cats.
Wish granted.
Boring corruption: You get the car. Then spontaneously catches on fire. Then an asteroid hits the Earth and all humans die.
Semi-reasonable corruption: Wish granted. You get your car made for cats. The instructions manual is in another language and the car requires pure diamonds to be used as fuel. It can only fit the smallest of cats and the seats are lined with spikes.
I wish everyone wasn't so pedantic about corruptions, we all just follow the rules outlined in the OP and we have less arguments over corruptions.
Wish granted, the next day you find this forum being spammed by corruption trolls and the post count rises by the second. This inevitably causes you to quit posting here and live a real life. Meanwhile, all the useless posts become so unruly that the thread is deleted and all those posts are gone. Soon enough though, another thread is started and is spammed again and to stop it requires the loss of the whole forum. Hey, at least no one was pedantic and the rules were followed.
I wish to get some normal corruptions instead of some having to do with how pedantic other people's opinions are.
Wish granted, you get some normal corruptions as everybody completely ignore anything that could be seen as a pedantic opinion, soon evolving to ignoring and mocking any opinions about wish quality. As a result the quality of "normal" corruption drop as fair opinions goes unheeded.
Typical "normal corruption" are now typically "YOU DIE" preceded by nonsensical stuff out of a random word generator.
I wish to be a vigilante like Batman (but with Dragons as my heroish theme)
Quote from: {insert_name_here} on September 19, 2017, 04:48:16 AM
I wish everyone wasn't so pedantic about corruptions, we all just follow the rules outlined in the OP and we have less arguments over corruptions.
Just because someone wrote rules first don't mean you can't suggest improvement.
Granted, you are now Draco a very smart vigilante who uses the theme of dragons. You go by day and fight everyone you think is bad. You use balls of chemicals that burst into flames when they come into contact with an object. You can also glide for 3-4 seconds. The only problem is, you now think like a dragon. When you see a lot of riches, you steal it and try to hoard it. This soon ends with you going to jail and rotting in a solitary cell. Your charges were for grand theft and killing suspects in many murder or robbery crimes.
I wish for a new set of ideas for my next few arguments in a long debate in a thread.
Quote from: catter on September 20, 2017, 06:19:14 PM
I wish for a new set of ideas for my next few arguments in a long debate in a thread.
Granted, but all your ideas came via psychography in a language that you didn't understand and couldn't relate. You start researching these as you fall deeper and deeper into madness as you try to figure out the meaning of these only to fail and have more to translate every single day.
...
I wish for longer days
Wish granted, a new star appear out of nowhere and turn the Solar system into a binary star system. Earth is now illuminated by two sun with a 30% increases in day time (from sunup to sunset).
Put aside the resulting global warming that Trump is proud to finally prove was never manmade, every living being on earth evolved their biological clock for millions of years, as a result many species go extinct and human have a lot more trouble sleeping.
Not getting enough sleep and because of the rising temperature, lot of irascible immigrant break walls and fences to get into cooler country. Eventually causing a world war, preventing country to cooperate and find a way to save earth.
I wish I knew the secret of the gods.
ps: well done catter, this is why you don't bring a cat in the dragon's lair !
Granted, however the secrets are very complex, and there may very well be a reason they are secret to begin with. You know the secrets, but you can't quite comprehend or understand them. The answers just lead to more questions.
Everybody dies... it's an existential truism ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I wish this forum allowed for proper lenny faces (or at least I knew the font to get it right).
Granted, now Lenny can be made in many fonts on this forum; however, this causes the forum to look weird due to error in the coding. The title is fine, but every other word looks weird because of multiple fonts used on that one word. Even Wingdings are used making it hard to decipher what the title of the thread is.
Quote from: Kegereneku on September 21, 2017, 05:24:12 PM
Wish granted, a new star appear out of nowhere and turn the Solar system into a binary star system. Earth is now illuminated by two sun with a 30% increases in day time (from sunup to sunset).
This couldn't be a star created by Jupiter crushing in on itself from a bunch of monoliths? Does it?
I mean, it isn't 2010 so why bring up an old event? We want the stuff that is happening NOW!
Not really, I liked 2010. BTW, why did you make a corruption that showed your political ideals, especially since it is related to something outside the wish and makes an ending you want?
I wish to be the most powerful genie in the universe.
Granted, you are now a spirit that resides in a an India style lamp. Like all other genies, you can't leave your lamp unless someone rubs it and you can only use your incredible power to grant the wishes of others. But unlike other genies, you can grant any wish in any way. Just have to wait for a person to rub your lamp. Any day now.
It has now been two centuries, and you are still stuffed in a small, dark lamp, slowly losing your sanity.
I wish that all people were shown the errors of their ways AND learn from this showing.
Wish granted, People are now forced to learn anything from whatever happened in their life that they could not guaranty was the best way. As a result they are now forced to "learn" whatever first explanation is easier to believe in regardless of how much data it would take to make a more informed decision.
As a result Humanity is now heading toward a new Dark age, as "god did it" is a pretty powerful thought terminating cliché, humanity is also becoming hateful as "It's someone's else fault if I'm unhappy" usually come first.
Soon only two kind of people will exist : intelligent-slave who doubted themselves and are being forced to believe in whatever is easier to believe, and retarded-slaver raised or born incapable of imagining that they could be wrong about anything.
I wish all traffic-light would turn in the "you can pass" color any time I come, as a pedestrian or in a car. that one is easy, you can't miss it
That IS easy. Wish Granted.
Now everytime you come even close to traffic lights they turn green for the mode of transportation you're using at the time. It does not turn the light for the >other< people to red(or 'do not pass') though, leading to car accidents, crashes and people getting run over by vehicles.
Of course, sooner or later, the people realize that you seem to be the sole cause for those catastrophic events, so you will be arrested and convicted.
Congratulations, you will now live a lifetime in a remote prison with no traffic lights close to you - in addition, there will be researcher coming over every once in a while, just to figure out how the hell you did what you did - I'm not an expert, but the resulting experiments might hurt. Who knows!
I wish...Humanity would be able to finally find a way to colonize far away earth-like planets without the need of hundreds - or thousands - of years travelling to those planets.
(Now, this could be interesting, I wonder what you make with this.)
Wish granted, humanity go nearly extinct, alien -alien who look at us like a scientist look at a petri dish of the most dangerous pathogen virus that exist- decide to continue the experiment on another planet, they thus gather all consenting of what left of humanity, carry them Faster than light to a new planet, terraform it in an instant to look exactly like Earth because they are much much more intelligent than, say, a virus. They even planted some fake fossil of dinosaurs to not have to dirty themselves playing gods (again).
As any virus do humanity collectively colonized it's new "Earth-like" petri dish. Unaware that this was the 5th time they did, they call it "Earth", alien chuckle but are pretty disappointed they couldn't manage to keep a trace of what happened their help.
I wish to walk on Mars (the planet) in my lifetime.
Granted, after some time you are 150 years old and allowed to walk on Mars. As you finally get to make your dreams come true you walk on a very sharp rock and puncture your suit. Through the pain of a near vacuum atmosphere making you spray out your suit through your foot because of Fold Spindle Mutilation, you feel your burdens relieved from your body and you see your body in large amounts of pain and wish you never walked on Mars. Stupid rocks, always messing with your dream bubbles.
I wish for a better life than as a genie of corruptions.
Wish granted, you are now a genie of half-backed wish. It's better because at least you can be lazy on the job and nobody expect otherwise.
I wish people knew that "explosive decompression" is not actually a things (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ExplosiveDecompression), and that as a result author made much better fiction knowing that.
(If you are referring to my last corruption, I never specified the time it took for you to die. All I said was that it was very painful and that you exploded. I never said how you exploded and that will be fixed, but it will still be painful.)
Granted, people now know what "explosive decompression" really means. Including you! The author fixes his mistake as every person, including you, dies in space without spacesuits.
(https://ccs.infospace.com/ClickHandler.ashx?encp=ld%3d20170927%26app%3d1%26c%3dironmchosted%26s%3dironmcv17%26rc%3dironmchosted%26dc%3d%26euip%3d207.228.61.162%26pvaid%3d0ee72ae3e8d746e3a98a563132c4f791%26dt%3dDesktop%26fct.uid%3d15da8ebcf1234b92a1d6935bb692cf73%26en%3dXXlXdwcoH%252bZKoBUgBc0KS0p13Dogyi4d2IL%252fJ5siRu0RK%252fbPcWGEJ3Yhy3I%252fH%252fcR%26coi%3d772%26npp%3d1%26p%3d0%26pp%3d0%26mid%3d9%26ep%3d1%26ru%3dhttp%253a%252f%252fs2.quickmeme.com%252fimg%252f26%252f264b651367cf00bcf39fda4fb12331b6ec6253066237e692dca0b6549d4b7174.jpg%26du%3dhttp%253a%252f%252fs2.quickmeme.com%252fimg%252f26%252f264b651367cf00bcf39fda4fb12331b6ec6253066237e692dca0b6549d4b7174.jpg%26hash%3dFCC7DCD022C815B061CE78D5DFE98F1F&ap=1&cop=main-title&om_userid=7uKIxW65nanUiETvZrmJ&om_sessionid=870YjGTgGiMEeiiolj6d&om_pageid=EyeZAo9dT7s1AJwXDRLD&om_nextpage=true)
Oh, well. Back to corrupting...
I wish to knew why I even felt the Force, even though I"m just a cat.
Granted. You become the first feline Sith Lord in the service of Emperor Palpatine, but the next day, The Skywalkers show up and you witness the death of your new master at the hands of his former apprentice, Darth Vader. Soon after, you're tossed into the deepest depths of the Death Star.
I wish I had a million dollars.
Granted, you are given one million dollars in a suitcase...
Police: OK boys, get him. Remember, that cash he is carrying is stolen so don't use it yourself.
We need wishes to corrupt!
I'll volunteer: I wish I legitimately won a million dollars from the lottery.
Wish Granted BUT a flash monetary inflation due to a massive lack of finance from the USA government makes your million of the same value than a wheelbarrow.
Now, all you can do is curse Trump & Co for their too short vision which has led you to ruin.
I wish to better understand the GitHub operation.
Granted! You are now fully able to understand every minute aspect of GitHub. Unfortunately, you realise that the operation is terrible, and upon trying to leave, the memory is etched into your brain for life.
I wish that I never ended up reading about Hitler's kink.
Granted, it is wiped out of existence and you also wipe out the internet in order to delete any possible trace of it. Guess no one will know how to create that cure to cancer in the next century.
I wish I didn't make the mistake of not wishing last time I posted here.
Wish granted, you didn't make the mistake of not wishing. Instead of a deliberate but wrong choice you made, you just forgot about it.
I wish I had a spaceship.
Wish granted, NASA selected you as first Civilian Member of the Challenger Program.
I wish I would win the lottery.
Wish granted, you won the lottery.
However because of a critical bug in the printing machine that was not detected until today, so did every single other participants, so you won 50 cents.
I wish I could walk on water as I wish.
Granted, you now walk on water whenever you wish. Your new name is also shark bait because whenever you do walk on water, the water under you makes a small amount of blood in which sharks can smell from a mile away. Hope you don't ever go out in the ocean!
I wish that whenever a shark attacks Kegereneku, I could throw a spear very perniciously into the shark's heart before eating Kegereneku.
(you really need to work on granting a wish without adding unrelated stuff catter)
Wish granted, whatever you were doing, no matter where you were and no matter what you wish for. You are systematically transported at the same place Kegereneku is being attacked by sharks, with a spear appearing in your hand, and the occasion to throw a spear in a sharks heart.
As a result, you were watching TV on a comfy couch when you are suddenly transported above water with a spear, you only have 2 seconds to do the throwing and kill the shark before falling into said water full of blood and attracting sharks (Kegereneku don't have to be near a shores or boat because he can WALK ON WATER)
You spend the rest of your life wishing Kegereneku never go shark walking in the middle of the night (on island the other side of the planet in daylight)
I wish I could split the sea like Moses supposedly did but for real.
Granted, but the first time you try it, you really mess up and end up causing catastrophic floods. You also bring your phone, thinking you'd be dry, but since you don't know what you're doing, you drench yourself and destroy your phone.
I wish I had noticed this thread was back earlier.
Granted, you now have been transported back in time and saw this thread was back. However, you teleported into yourself and are now a walking crack in time and space. With that, you go insane of not only seeing into the space-time continuum, but also of hearing many voices of many other dimensions even if nobody is there in your dimension.
I wish that unrelated stuff could be enjoyed, and even more so when it causes a good corruption.
Granted, unrelated stuff is now enjoyed, so it becomes a part of the corruption, so it's now related. Due to this specific paradox, the space-time fabric breaks and a wormhole happens which drives you in a paradoxical world where you live happy and have many children but no more access to this thread.
That was dedicated to you, catter.
I wish someone explains me the difference between a good and a bad corruption.
Wish granted, however, the person explains the difference between what they think is a good and bad corruption, which basically boils down into 'if I like it, it's a good corruption' which greatly confuses you, but any attempts to ask for a better explanation causes much shouting and insults.
You leave even more confused then before you made the wish. On the bright side, you now know way more insults then you've even imaged could exist.
I wish I had some pie.
Granted. It's a literal mud pie crafted by a kid via mixing some dirt and stagnant pool water into a bowl. Bon appetit.
I wish Rob Dyke still did comedy videos, more specificially "Why Would You Put That on the Internet?".
Granted, but Rob reacts to nothing but corny dad jokes. Unless you're into that...
I wish I was a pie.
(https://dncache-mauganscorp.netdna-ssl.com/thumbseg/1221/1221661-bigthumbnail.jpg)
BILLY NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I wish that my company would run itself but had to pay me $120.000 a year without me doing squat
Granted, but all that money turns out to be counterfeit.
I wish alpha 18 was out tomorrow (heck, it might be for all we know...).
Wish granted, some nefarious hacker took control of Tynan computer and will force release tomorrow what Tynan was working on as alpha 0.18
Because it will be forced unfinished, it will be extremely buggy with critical features don't interact with each other correctly.
I wish magical phenomena made packages and mail arrive at their destination mere second after they were sent, despite following the normal delivery process.
So I can receive that stuff I ordered on ebay faster.
Wish granted. Ebay can now use teleporters to transport their packages in seconds. However the teleportation software that ebay uses is really unreliable and buggy. Some things people order end up on the roof, and others end up in other, even more inconvenient spots. Good luck trying to use that new set of headphones after they appear in a wet, dirty gutter near your house...
To avoid to let this thread dying, I will make a wish.
I wish to know the A18 release date.
Granted, but you find that it will release in 10 years.
I wish for a pie-flavored pie. What could go wrong?
Wish granted, you are given a pie that when eaten make you taste the CONCEPT of a pie. What could go wrong is that while your organism is capable of digesting say a strawberry-pie fine, digesting a CONCEPT is a whole other deal, in fact, because you are what you eat, you slowly start morphing into the CONCEPTUAL RESULT of a digested pie.
Fully describing what it look like would require to interact with another plane of existence and would make everyone insane from the revelation, so let's just say that people start treating you as if you were just the concept of a person.
I wish I could read the Necronomicon without any problem or loss of sanity.
Granted. When you read the Necronomicon, you discover that it contains slash fiction between Shrek and Barney the Dinosaur.
I wish I had all the candy in the world.
Granted. This candy is of course stolen from all the children in the world, as per you wanting all the candy. It is then thrown in a pit, because nobody has any idea where else to put all that candy, and you are thrown within the depths of it where you become lost with no means of escape.
I wish I didn't look up what slash fiction was. Shrek x Barney is not an image I needed (I imagine Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life with Barney; lol).
Granted, but it is replaced with something far worse. (You can figure out what that is...)
I wish to be able to do algebra with ease.
Congratulations, you can now solve algebraic problems with ease. You get stellar grades on your math test. However, your teacher begins to smell a rat with all your perfect test scores, and calls the swat team on you in the middle of class. You are dragged to a max security prison for life because your teacher suspected that you were cheating.
I wish to know what ruddthree is referring to when he says the slash fiction is replaced by something far worse.
Granted. Now, you know it. Unfortunately, you realize that this knowledge doesn't improve your life. Instead, it turns your mind into dementia and all your life you will regret to have asked this question.
I wish to get someone to explain me how brains work.
Granted, however this person is not a professional, neither are they knowledgeable on the matter. Most of their explanations are backed by superstition, and some are long debunked theories. He recommends a labotomy for everything, and assumes some forms of mental illness are a result of demonic possession.
He does know a really good phrenologist however.
I wish I were a successful musician.
Wish granted, however what become famous is a tune that you absolutely hate you had composed it to mock simplistic shit music but it is now the only tune you'll hear and everybody act like it's your masterpiece, not finding much joy in your other composition who "lack the spirit".
Because of that Publisher only contact you to get the right to sell even more of it. But you don't actually have the right anymore as you considered it not worth it.
I wish the pizza I'll eat in 20 second will be delicious.
Granted. You devour the pizza within 20 seconds. It was delicious, but it was more than your stomach could handle. It didn't taste so good coming back up.
I wish for the "Count to 9000..." thread to reach 9000.
Whish granted, however because everybody had been expecting this moment, the sheer amount of poster crash the website and corrupt the forum beyond recovery. Tynan never get to answer it.
I wish for all the dirt I have at home to magically disappear so I don't have to clean.
Granted, but it was all transported under your rug which is now up to your waist. Now not only do you have to clean a rug a lot, you now also have to move around a solid waist-high tower of dirt in the shape of your rug.
I wish to live a free life.
Granted, you go to live off the grid in the middle of nowhere. However, it's no walk in the park. Survival is a fulltime job, and you can't afford most of the pleasantries of civil life.
I wish my prisoners weren't so stubborn and would recognize the grand opportunity of joining my colony. We haven't resorted to human leather and kibble yet, they shouldn't tempt fate.
Granted, they join your colony but then become bums since they destroy any knowledge or become unable to do any work.
I wish for isolation in a forest.
Granted; when you die you'll be buried in a shallow unmarked grave in the middle of the forest and soon forgotten.
I wish I didn't have go so dark granting that; I couldn't think of anything better though, I'm sorry Catter :P
Granted, now your corruptions end with a disgustingly happy ending. Now when you corrupt my wish, you will end it with how it goes to show you that unicorns and rainbows is the best lifestyle, that everyone is never mean, and anyone can be friends with everyone with the power of love. Every little girl will then watch your TV show called "The Corrupt-a-wish-nicely Show".
I wish that gipothegip would corrupt my wish with my corruption's standards affecting it.
Granted, but then you find out he was really Catty from the Underground in disguise and he has no standards. He then turns you into Burgerpants and leaves you working for the rest of eternity flipping Glamburgers at MTT resort and saying "sparkle up your day" to everyone that walks in.
I wish I knew how to fly an airplane.
Granted...
(http://www.animateit.net/data/media/april2014/74756456.gif)
Guess you shouldn't text while flying.
I wish nobody is majorly offended by this gif.
Wish granted everybody is FANTASTICALLY offended by your gif.
It has now become a wordwide problem being published on every news network of the planet. You also got the absolute approval of TRUMP who is now using you to justify increasing the defense budget and cutting tax from the rich.
------------------------------------------
I wish I had the ability to save my life like in videogame and restart from any save with full memory of it.
wish granted it works exactly as you wanted it to however the memory of each life you had before each reload you had to do begin to mix together in till you lose track of who you are and what you are doing and what is happening around you and appear to go mad to the outside world.
did that make any sense? I've been reading a book which explored a premise quite similar in ways which got me inspired for that corruption.
I wish for there to be significantly less house cats in the world.
Wish granted a lot of house cat disappear inexplicably (Catter doesn't).
While the world was aghast (and talking about it non-stop for years) it doesn't make house cat any less attractive (and bent to control the world), in fact it make them even more envied and as a result the remaining ones are bred as much as possible and sold at very high price, especially on the dark market who take the kitten too young (cause they are cuter) and don't treat them. The result are traumatized and malformed cat. Funny cat meme become an even more part of the Internet as they rarity make them even more valuable. A house-cat channel become the most watched channel on youtube.
With an important part of the ecosystem gone, rat and mouse population explode (yes I had "house" cat, if they can get outside, they will hunt, you know they do if they have big mustache).
I wish the gaming industry never used shitty Pay2win and pay4randomlootbox money schemes.
Wish granted. AAA games don't exist and Steam flopped.
I wish that I were one of the cool kids.
Granted, you are now a "cool kid" in which you have a slight dependence on many drugs (alcohol, weed, coke, or what ever else is out there) and you must have a little of each or else go through coma as an effect of withdrawals. Guess being "cool" isn't what it is cut out to be...
I wish that Kegereneku didn't have such a bad grudge, or at least would tell me why there is a grudge.
Wish granted Keger tell you everything, unfortunately you do not like what you hear and it raise more question than answer. A while back you kept trying to force cat meme and yet somehow, now you see a problem when someone remind it by making fun of it.
There's no grudge, I'm surprised you took it that bad, now I think I should have run with the "(catter doesn't)" I planned at first and don't overextend it.
I wish existed a super-heroic DOG who save human life, like Krypto the super-dog.
Wish granted,
(https://nadaelmargoushy.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/underdog9.jpg)
There you go, you now have Under-dog who we all know about. The catch is that the universe is slowly being destroyed due to the crossing of universes...
I wish for a car to come by with lots of money in the back seat.
Wish granted, this is a stolen car from a bank robbery with a bag full of stolen money on the backseat, it crash into you as the thiefs are trying to escape the police. You die slowly on the side of the road.
I wish I could talk to animal and order them around.
Granted, now every animal you talk to will do as you say. This may be great and all for you, but the owners of some of the animals soon rise up and kill you in the middle of the night. This attempt almost failed because you ordered a very attentive dog to watch over you with out killing you. This dog died due to a very heavy beating and you are shot in the leg and gut. You are then left to die slowly on your floor due to internal bleeding.
I wish that I could help some cops catch some robbers.
Wish granted. Thanks to you police have arrested a dozen of robbers.
Actually, you was one of them. During a robbery, you have accidentally pushed on a red button, warning the police of the presence of your gang of thefts. None of you have escaped but your comrades intend to make you pay when you will be released.
I wish to get legitimately and without any injury a bread-that-does-not-dry maker.
Wish granted, you are capable of making a bread that never do dry, instead it goes moist.
However its taste is absolutely horrible and it's pretty bad for health as well, since you do not injure yourself needlessly you refuse to ever taste your own bread.
I wish the AI of the games "Total War" weren't cheating so badly and the easy difficulty was actually easy.
Granted, but the game becomes so easy, that you become bored incredibly quickly, and uninstall the game.
I wish to not have a need for sleep.
Granted, you won't need to sleep, but the additional stress on your mind and body will catch up to you over the years, driving you to madness.
I wish I had instantaneous internet, thus not having to wait for downloads & buffering, or having to worry about ping.
Granted, this also gives you the additional feature that every trojan and virus instantly installs on your system and your hardware can't keep up with the required data processing so your system crashes every couple of minutes.
I wish I was able to solve all my problems
Wish granted, you are capable of solving all of your problems. However doing so only lead to you seeing your next problems and so on indefinitely.
As you are about to address the problem of having problems at all you deduce that stopping causality (and time) is the only way to prevent any more problems from ever happening.
You are thus cursed to be able to solve ALL OF YOUR PROBLEMS FOREVER but destroy the universe if you ever do so.
I wish to assassinate the next poster.
Wish granted...
As i die I tell you of the horrible thing I will do now, I will go to the place of never-ending torture in an apartment. Then I will take you with me.
I wish that Kegereneku goes with me to the place of never-ending torture in an apartment.
Wish granted, the fact you brought this old stuff back is already a never-ending torture for anyone, however as I already live in an apartment you didn't have to take me to anywhere so you are alone while I will painfully ignore you.
I wish Comic and Anime comedy tropes like "hammer appearing out of nowhere", "hiding behind a lamp post" or "inconsequential explosive cooking" was possible in real life.
Granted, out of the darkness comes a guy with a knife. You run for your life but from behind a lamp post a guy pulls a hammer from behind his back and hits you in the head with it.
I wish I knew what the third trope was...
Wish granted, as you are cooking you end up cooking so badly that whatever you where cooking explode in a big and showy way with the windows exploding and thick white smoke coming out. Leaving your kitchen destroyed and you covered with soot and holding a pan from which come out a skull looking aroma. You decide to clean up your mess and 10 minute later it is like there never was a powerful room-destroying explosion.
You end up rethinking about this wish but wonder how it can be a tropes since for you it is now nothing out of the ordinary.
Doing a search prove unsuccessful as you can only find a trope where in a fiction cooking badly result in, not in a explosion, but instead in the stew overflowing, tasting bad and making a big mess.
(ts... it took such a long time to grant this wish, next time I'll just use TVtropes approved tropes)
I wish for the next poster to meet a lethal chef (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LethalChef)
Granted, but instead for dying from so bad of food this poster now loves this food and you watch in aw as this poster eats the lethal chef's dinners every night without any pain or suffering. Meanwhile you are tricked into thinking it is actually is good and end up at a local hospital. Weird how my stomach is different than yours...
I wish we could move on to talk about cats instead of tropes.
Wish granted, you turn into the Trope of the old cat lady, who talks only about her cats.
I wish I was able to talk to animals.
Wish granted, you can talk to animal, however you can't understand what they answer you... if they do.
The thing is that almost every animals Loath the human race for destroying the environment and refuse to show they can understand you. Even domestic pets don't answer or hate you for castrating them. Dogs don't actually care about you and just say gimmi-food, and cats are all plotting your death and everything you say will be used against you.
I wish I had a 3D printer that can reproduce any meal I want (as edible as the real thing) and don't require more than electricity.
Granted, your new replicator makes food from just electricity. Your belly will be full of food, but your bill will multiply by one trillion. Too bad they didn't make a more efficient version when you weren't in very heavy debt. Oh wait, they did.
I wish that people would stop thinking us cats will want to kill the human race. I mean, you are slaves compared to us, but why would I kill property that is useful?
Your wish is granted. Humanity now does not think Cats with kill Humans.
Instead, every Human firmly believes that Cats mean to enslave Humans.
Humans take this about as well as can be expected, and soon, billions of Humans rise up against their Cat Overlords, screaming slogans like 'Give me Liberty or Give me Death!' or 'For Freedom!'. In typical Human fashion, this uprising involves lots of setting fire to things and stoning things to death. Mostly Cats.
I wish I had a pouch that gave me endless amounts of confetti.
Wish granted, you have one. It give you an infinite amount of confetti, whether or not you want it. It is fun at first, but as you can't stop it you try to lock it up into a chest. But the confetti teleport to you.
After month of such hilarity the world learn of you and grow very concerned about the walking ecological disaster you are. They try to make it and you useful but the confetti can't even be burned as fuel and plans of infinite-confetti-propelled-rocket turn bad as the confetti left in space are incredible hazard.
Eventually you have to run away as fanatic believe that if they kill you they will stop the calamity you've become. Throwing confetti is now considered the most insulting thing you can do to someone.
I wish I could open and close portal to world built out of my imagination any time I want.
Granted. As you walk between universes of you imagination and reality, you start to find cross-overs of the universes. This is due to a tiny leak of space-time between universes. As both universes blend together, your imagination slowly causes a tear in space and time. This tear suddenly ends both universes, and you are stuck in limbo.
I wish for the cats to rise and fight back against humans, even if the outcome is where cats are treated as pets again and humans are rulers of the Earth.
Your wish is granted. Sadly the war drives the cats near extinct, leaving mice predatorless. The sharp increase in mice population spreads the bubonic plague everywhere, causing humanity to abandon earth, only leaving some W.A.L.L.E. units behind.
I wish communism was a thing again.
Wish granted, communism is a things again and just like before it is soon corrupted into something far far from what you wanted it originally.
I wish my kun-fu to be better than Li Lianjie.
Wish granted. Li Linajie suddenly falls over dead.
Being dead, Li Lianjie cannot kun-fu anymore, making you better at kun-fu than Li Lianjie.
I wish I could see a shooting star.
Wish granted, you see one. You then die second later crushed by an asteroid.
I wish you all a merry Christmas.
Wish is granted, but now I am married to Christie Mass and never had such a good life afterward.
I wish that a guardian angel would save my life before I jump off the bridge of a small town in the 1940's.
Wish granted, in 1940 as you were walking on the bridge of a small town a guardian angel come and save you from an accident, however it cost its life and you fall into a deep depression, leading you to jump off the bridge to your death after that.
I wish I had an infinite supply of Stollen cake (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stollen) without any corruption typically associated with wishing for edible thing.
;D
Wish (partially) granted! Unfortunately, due to one of the rules of the game requiring that you cannot wish for an incorruptible wish, that part of your request is not granted. You are, however, given an infinite supply of Stollen cake, whatever that is. The sheer amount of cakes quickly collapse into several black holes, which destroys the entire universe as we know it before the black holes themselves congeal into even bigger black holes for the rest of eternity.
I wish I could see as many colors as a mantis shrimp can.
Granted, you now-
Hey where did you go? Oh, you are now a mantis shrimp, and food for that fish over there...
It's too bad though, you must be seeing so many wonderful colors.
I wish that I never existed.
Granted, you don't exist, in this universe anyway. You still exist in an alternate reality, and it isn't any better.
I wish I had a theme song.
Granted, the theme song is "Barbie Girl"
I wish my life would have goals
Wish granted, however whoever set your goals had Japanese RPG and pay2win in mind, your goals in life are now:
- To make 1000 (good) friendship
- Enter the top 1000 of the wealthiest persons in the world
- Marry with someone
- Have a son and a daughter
- Get grand-son and grand-daughter
- Live 100 years
- Explore 10% of every landmass of Earth
- Collect every... **roll for random hobby** ...Pepsi can model
- Never ever corrupt someone's wish in your life
I wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR !
Wish granted, we all have a happy new year. However, this entails us getting very drunk and then crashing into something while DUI. It was fun, until we died.
I wish that I could transport myself across dimensions of any type.
Wish granted, but each time you transport, 5 of your most loved ones die in a machiavellic, long and cruel death and you lose a limb each time to repay the transportation.
I wish that I could make my friends buy rimworld.
Quote from: Bastobasto on January 21, 2018, 10:46:03 AM
Wish granted, but each time you transport, 5 of your most loved ones die in a machiavellic, long and cruel death and you lose a limb each time to repay the transportation.
I wish that I could make my friends buy rimworld.
Granted. Your friends buy Rimworld... and they like it! Actually, they like it so much that they fell in addiction to it. Sadly, they didn't stop playing at any time, even for eat or drink. They're all dead now.
I wish I could play the bass guitar properly.
Granted, but in order to do so you have to first think and act like a bass guitar. This slowly makes you figure out how to play the base guitar, but you also loose your sanity causing you to be locked in a rubber room for a while. Inside this rubber room are rats. Because you are in the mindset of a base guitar and know that rats have a tendency to chew at guitar strings you hate the rats and they make you crazy. However you were crazy once before, they locked you in a rubber room. There were rats. Rats, you hate rats; rats make you crazy. Crazy, you were crazy once. They locked you in a rubber room. There were rats...
I wish to know what a machiavellic is so that I can destroy it whenever it takes my friends and loved ones.
Granted, but you now realize that machiavellic is a adjective that come from the poet Machiavel and not a real angery force. You feel dumb and go suicide yourself due to that.
I wish to be able to eat with my feets
Granted, and now as you walk you taste the ground (which is very disgusting) or your socks or what ever your feet are touching.
Oh, you wanted a different outcome? Ok...
Granted, you now can use your feet for eating with. However, you transfer what ever you walked on or in to your food. Good luck with all those germs and bacteria that live on your feet!
I wish for a new reason to do more work.
Wish granted, your new reason to do more work is that if you don't the slave driver will whip you again and not feed you again.
I wish for the sun to rise tomorrow as it always did (just in case it don't).
The sun now rises tomorrow, destroying the Earth with it. You see, the sun has never actually risen once in its 5 billion year history. Instead, all the other planets orbit it, producing the illusion of the sun rising from their perspective. But today, the sun literally does rise out of the Earth, killing us faster than we can even perceive it happening.
I wish that the 1.0 update will be the best addition to any game ever.
Wish granted, however this is because after that release, the entire game industry will simply crumble forever into mediocrity, faking continuous development forever but with every update turned into extremely limited and bland DLC and Horizon pass. As a result Rimworld 1.0 will be the best (and last) addition to any game : the one and last time a game declare itself forever finished and don't sell false hope to new players.
I wish I had a snowboard-shaped board that allow me to fly as I want.
Granted, your snowboard-shaped hover-board is now in your possession. However, you one day forget that it is a hover-board and try to use it as a normal snowboard.
Let's just say it ends in lots of pain...
I wish to be able to build a new wonder of the world.
Granted, it's completely stupid and meaningless, even in your own opinion; but the contemporary art community loves it, and it gains prestige the world over.
I wish I were a physicist.
Granted, however because you got other trades online (*cough* armchair psychologist *cough cough*) you also get your physicist degree from Yahoo College. This school teaches a very old and superstitious class about physics and blames everything on a supernatural power that controls and haunts you wherever you go. This gets so ingrained into your head you become a conspiracy theorist afraid of your own shadow.
I wish that I could instantly be number one on the waiting list for just one game show or talk show.
Granted. You are the number one in a game show AND a talk show. The game is Ride to Hell 2 and the talk is about flat earth.
I wish Black Sabbath could play one last gig on my town, and I could actually aford it.
Granted, they come and play in your hometown and you are able to (and do) pay for the tickets. The catch is that this group has changed since you last heard them because they started delving into black magic. So when they start to play one of their newest songs, it is actually a curse put to a song. Thus ends your hometown with you still inside it.
I wish for the moon, a spoon, someone to croon, in the month of June, while I hold flowers in bloom, someone to play the crooner's tune, a honeymoon, and a macaroon.
Granted, I put everything on the moon, seems the best place as it's now yours. By the way, the flowers, the crooner and their tune, and who I'm assuming is your future wife with which to honeymoon died, there's no atmoshpere up there. Living things need oxygen and protection from solar radiation. Should've asked for some space suits and life support.
I wish feline astronauts were a thing.
Wish granted, several space agency try to get funding by sending cat on the ISS to create space cat memes. This end up into a catastrophic failure as one of the cat damage a critical part of the station once released. Soon enough all human astronaut have to abandon the station, the cat who clawed itself on the face of an astronaut keep them from de-orbiting properly and they all burn during reentry.
Because of the loss of the invaluable ISS, of dozen of valorous astronauts, and all credibility for space agency. Any mention to "Feline astronaut" will forever be followed by "NEVER AGAIN" and when the last day of Earth will come, when humanity and other Earthly animals will have colonized the galaxy. Only one species will be left to die on a dead Earth: cat
I wish mankind stopped funding the retarded ideas of sending humans to the surface of Mars and rather funded other research which will actually make mankind progress as a spacefaring civilization.
good luck understanding my rant
Granted, instead now space agencies spend their time thinking about how to make a mountain in the Sahara in order to terraform the desert into a beautiful paradise. They also look to making water purifiers that can purify ocean water. They also start thinking about destroying wind generators and make more nuclear reprocessing plants and power plants. Finally they fund fusion power and quantum computing research groups. However, many people are offended by this and over throw these organizations and mankind is thrown into a new Dark Age.
I wish to be the first cat to be replicated by intelligent aliens from a cat hair that escaped Earth's atmosphere.
Granted, they genetically modify and mass produce these cats for warfare. They are meant to blend in with native Earth cats to aid in guerrilla war tactics, and they are used to enslave mankind.
I wish I had flawless vision.
Quote from: gipothegip on January 26, 2018, 08:51:57 PM
Granted, they genetically modify and mass produce these cats for warfare. They are meant to blend in with native Earth cats to aid in guerrilla war tactics, and they are used to enslave mankind.
How did you figure it out!? KILL THAT HUMAN!!! HE HAS FOUND OUR SECRET!!!!!!!!!!
Granted you have flawless vision, now you can watch yourself being tortured by cats in vibrant color, a high fps rate of 60, watch in full UHD, and best of all: feel every minute of it! Now all yours! Including the cats torturing you.
I wish nobody else saw the post about us enslaving mankind.
Wish granted, nobody saw the post about cat enslaving mankind, why? Because despite being replicated by aliens, the guerilla cats were only reintroduced to Earth and only Earth which was essentially abandoned by 99.9999999999999999999% of mankind who knew better than to keep living on the same planet of those filthy liars (the cats only enslaved a blind and deaf grandma who didn't see or heard everyone else leaving).
As said previously this will stay like that until the last day of Earth. At which point cats will go extinct forever and never reappear.
I wish I could write all of my ideas into bestselling novels with ease.
Granted, any ideas you have for a book turn into a book. However, you don't like the writing style of your book because it never is how you exactly like it. So you toss out any book that appears after an idea. This was an even worse plan since now publishers are finding these books from the dump and using them to get them money. You only realize this when you one day look in a book store that was selling a book you threw out yesterday. After that, you find the publisher and have a fight about right of ownership and who gets the pay cut. The publisher doesn't believe that you make the books and kills you. Later he found the books stopped coming and he went out of business. Justice is served. (sort of?)
I wish cats weren't a doomed race.
Granted, cats become immortal and outlive the lifespan of the universe. It's incredibly cold and there is little energy of any kind; towards the end you're living in a freezing void, yearning for the days of when stars still burned and life still extant.
I wish so many innocent hypothetical people wouldn't have to die granting these wishes.
Granted, now for every corruption made a REAL person dies. All because of the Killer Cats from the Void!
Duh!
Duh!
DUUUUUUUH!
I wish that was a bit more climatic than it really was.
Wish granted, however it really is not by much, and it was down right bad, shameful even. Should've have wished to never talk about cat instead it would have been less painful.
I wish to have a nice sleep tonight and not suffer any horrible or deadly consequences because of that.
Your wish is granted. You have a very nice sleep when you go to sleep. In fact, you have a very nice sleep every time you sleep.
It's such a nice sleep that your friend/family/cat/misc that just happens to come over to your house overnight takes a picture of you sleeping and posts it online because you look like you're having a incredibly nice sleep.
The photo happens to capture your nice sleep so well that it goes viral in seconds, spreading world wide. Soon, you become famous for having the nicest sleep in the history of nice sleeping. Thousands of people from hundreds of occupations flock to you offering millions to have you help them in their sleep study, bedmaking, etc, etc.
You quickly become rich and famous, but are pestered all day long by people who want to study your sleeping patterns or find out your secret to nice sleeping or whatever. No matter where you go, or what you do, you cannot find rest from the constant phone calls or the mobs that surround you, which quickly becomes incredibly annoying.
I wish someone ninja-posts a reply right before I make my post so it looks like I answered the wrong wish and people get confused about what wish to grant.
Granted, but that post was removed by moderators due to a sh*t post made by that corrupter who posted before you. You still make the correct corruption to the right wish and a guy is now banned from this forum.
I wish for a box of rocks.
Quote from: catter on February 01, 2018, 08:04:31 PM
I wish for a box of rocks.
Granted: Starting tonight, all kitty litter gets replaced with small crack rocks. When you next dig in your litter box full of rocks, you breath in the crack dust and instantly crave more. You begin eating you're own kitty litter (You filthy animal!) and at first you're like
(http://rs194.pbsrc.com/albums/z64/skinny_monkey/ren%20and%20stimpy/a098.jpg~c200)
but soon you're like
(https://media.giphy.com/media/si00shwawQYPm/giphy.gif)
catter, that's gross. I can hardly believe it, but it
does happen.
I wish catter would learn to enjoy my insulting sense of humor and be my friend again.
Granted, but he doesn't enjoy it that much and still finds it insensitive; you guys are friends again, but it's a very strained relationship, and you just end up fighting all the time.
I wish I didn't have to watch that gif of Ren eating cat litter. It offends all five senses, maybe even a sixth.
Wish granted, you don't have to watch that gif again. Because you've lost all five senses and any senses you had not discovered yet.
You are now a senseless puppet of meat tumbling around incapable of knowing what is happening to your body as it slowly fall apart. You first injure yourself trying to wriggle in the vain hope of feeling anything, making sense of anything, but soon your body get to damaged to move.
Eventually you die after slowly starving, for some reason a CAT start eating your flesh, but you cannot feel anything as your mind went insane from Sensory deprivation.
I wish to throw a snowball made of ice-nine (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice-nine) at mabor0shi
Granted, you now have a snowball of ice-nine in your hand. You get ready to throw, and then when you throw it, you loose your whole arm as it was being turned into ice-nine. Your throw didn't go very far, and now your frozen arm is in the real snow in front of you. As you slowly become ice-nine, you start to wonder what will save you from your curse. When your family comes to see you, they talk about whether to try and save you with some act of true love, or to just skip it and treat you like a statue for the rest of winter. They chose the latter and in the mid-summer you melt away only to cause a large calamity of making anything that has water in it to turn to ice-nine whenever you freeze again.
I wish that the gifs were not as disturbing as I thought they were.
Granted, you no longer find them disturbing... this is however due to you becoming desensitized and disturbed yourself. You are now a crazy cat cat. Yes, you get tons of pet cats, despite being a cat yourself. They don't really like you either, despite how hard you try.
I wish Valentine's day didn't exist.
Granted, however as you were wishing this a beautiful girl was walking up to your door to give you a Valentines Day gift, but since the day doesn't exist anymore she runs away wondering why she was at your door ready to knock with chocolates in her other hand. I guess that is life...
I wish for all these pet cats to be as smart as me, even if they just run away from me.
Wish granted, they are as smart as you, meaning they instantly start complotting to kill you then to kill each others. Them being cat, their unnatural intelligence and homicidal tendency quickly run wild on the internet and every human start wanting to get them as (slave) pet, to study them, or kill them fearing them like you would fear aliens or homicidal AI.
Quickly all smart cats decide to fake being normal stupid cats to disappear or hide in the media, being as smart as you the ideas they come up with is forcing their own homicidal-cat memes. Leading to cat filming other cat pretending to be childishly evil and posting them on the Internet.
A practice they'll continue forever as human are now on constantly looking out for their cat conspiring against them.
I wish for racism to disappear.
Granted, now all races treat each other race equally and don't judge based on their race. However, there is only one race: the human race. So judgement based on ethnicity still exists, but if another alien race were to come to Earth we would treat them equally. Humans also now treat cats and any other race of bug, animal, or fish as equals and don't try to enslave them/make them unequal.
I wish for an empty box that can't be bigger than me and unable to kill me by hitting me or suffocating me.
Quote from: catter on February 11, 2018, 03:03:06 PM
Granted, however as you were wishing this a beautiful girl was walking up to your door to give you a Valentines Day gift, but since the day doesn't exist anymore she runs away wondering why she was at your door ready to knock with chocolates in her other hand. I guess that is life...
Oh shit, I lose out on free chocolate? I'm going to have to mulligan!
Oh, the girl you ask? That's rough, poor girl. She should've brought cake ;)
Quote from: catter on February 12, 2018, 08:57:36 PM
Granted, now all races treat each other race equally and don't judge based on their race. However, there is only one race: the human race. So judgement based on ethnicity still exists, but if another alien race were to come to Earth we would treat them equally. Humans also now treat cats and any other race of bug, animal, or fish as equals and don't try to enslave them/make them unequal.
I wish for an empty box that can't be bigger than me and unable to kill me by hitting me or suffocating me.
Granted, you now have a really tiny box you can't do anything useful with. One day you manage to trip over it and injure yourself.
Well, that was mundane. I wish I had done more with that.
Quote from: gipothegip on February 13, 2018, 04:51:18 AM
Quote from: catter on February 11, 2018, 03:03:06 PM
Granted, however as you were wishing this a beautiful girl was walking up to your door to give you a Valentines Day gift, but since the day doesn't exist anymore she runs away wondering why she was at your door ready to knock with chocolates in her other hand. I guess that is life...
Oh shit, I lose out on free chocolate? I'm going to have to mulligan!
Oh, the girl you ask? That's rough, poor girl. She should've brought cake ;)
Quote from: catter on February 12, 2018, 08:57:36 PM
Granted, now all races treat each other race equally and don't judge based on their race. However, there is only one race: the human race. So judgement based on ethnicity still exists, but if another alien race were to come to Earth we would treat them equally. Humans also now treat cats and any other race of bug, animal, or fish as equals and don't try to enslave them/make them unequal.
I wish for an empty box that can't be bigger than me and unable to kill me by hitting me or suffocating me.
Granted, you now have a really tiny box you can't do anything useful with. One day you manage to trip over it and injure yourself.
Well, that was mundane. I wish I had done more with that.
granted however in trying your best to not grant her wish In a mundane way you go completely over board with the corruption and the box instead has a mind controlling parasite inside it.
which takes over her body and mind and proceeds to use her as a puppet for the rest of her life while still granting her enough conscious thought to properly experience the misery of it.
I wish I didn't find it so difficult to write short corruptions.
Wish granted, you didn't find it so hard to write short corruptions because you now have Alzheimer plus some critically severe ante-retrograde amnesia. You simply don't remember what you've just done.
I wish to be at the top of the 1%.
Granted, now because you didn't specify which 1%, you had this coming...
You are now at the top of the 1% of the most obsessed persons list. Your obsession: hating cats. You also became number 1 in the animal abuse list and 9th in the top 10 most wanted list. While many cats are now traumatized by what you did to them, some want revenge which involves your death. However, these cats don't know one human from another, and kill any human in their path. Thus begins an improvable string of serial killings with no clue to a human killer, but lots of clawed up and eaten bodies. The case goes unsolved for decades, and still you continue with your obsession and the traumatized cats still kill. Eventually you die of being mauled by a group of savage cats. When you tried to call the police, they thought you were trying to hurt another cat. When the police finally find your body, they find the cause of death to be cats and leave it at that as a punishment for hating and hurting cats.
Hate this corruption all you want, you made this way too open ended for your own good.
I wish that there were more open ended wishes like that.
Wish granted, however it come from laziness more than a call for creativity, people start abusing vague formulation like "I wish good stuff happened to me" or "I wish for good stuff". As a result the corruption also become lazy and lazier, like: "Wish granted but the good stuff turn bad somehow" or "granted, but stuff happen and it cause your death".
The trend continue until all post turn into "I wish" and "granted, but cat kill you"
I wish I was an important member of the secret society that rules the world.
Granted, you are one of the many of a long line of secret society members that had lots of power in the world. Unfortunately, they all lost power due to dying or disappearing. Eventually you will do the same in the same manner as some of the others before you in your position. So much for an organized and passive secret society that controls the world.
I wish for bad things to happen to good things and no death is caused whatsoever.
Granted, good things no longer happen because there is always something to derail it. Life becomes a miserable hell, and the hell appartment sounds nice now. But hey, no additional deaths happen as a result. Silver linings and all that.
I wish I had a better day at work, we were busy, and it didn't slow down. Why does everybody decide to eat fast food on Valentine's day? That's kind of sad.
Wish granted, you had a better day at work as no one went to eat fast food. The reason is that for some unexplained reasons all couples worldwide started fighting and breaking up. Valentine's day is now only remembered as the dreadful day where all couple risk breaking.
I wish to have a small spaceship that look like a Moai (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moai), its technology make it float wherever I want.
Granted, now a Moai shaped spaceship that floats whenever you want it to is created. However, it is also small and there is very little room to control anything about it from the inside. So much for the space travel portion for the spaceship!
I wish for people to stop treating Valentines Day as some kind of bad holiday (even though I have never had someone to share it with since the 5th grade). Just because it is where some couples really show how much they care for each other when you have no one, doesn't mean you should hate it. Besides, if you get someone and there is no Valentines Day, then life just gets a whole lot harder.
Quote from: catter on February 15, 2018, 11:25:08 PM
I wish for people to stop treating Valentines Day as some kind of bad holiday (even though I have never had someone to share it with since the 5th grade). Just because it is where some couples really show how much they care for each other when you have no one, doesn't mean you should hate it. Besides, if you get someone and there is no Valentines Day, then life just gets a whole lot harder.
???
Granted, but I'm letting you know that's the dumbest defense for a holiday I've ever heard. You just said everybody that dislikes the holiday must have sour grapes, and that an arbitrary day actually makes being in a relationship easier (without which, life itself would be much harder).
Also, you actually care that not everybody is crazy about Valentine's Day.
I wish catter didn't care or mind so much what others think of a holiday.
In any case, I'm really hoping that wasn't an aside towards me. I don't actually hate the holiday itself, it's just not really something for me. I'm on both the ace & aro spectrums (read "not that big into relationships"), if the cake and free candy jokes didn't quite land how I intended (I'll grant it was kind of pedantic). I promise I'm not a cynical arse ;)
Quote from: gipothegip on February 16, 2018, 03:28:39 AM
Quote from: catter on February 15, 2018, 11:25:08 PM
I wish for people to stop treating Valentines Day as some kind of bad holiday (even though I have never had someone to share it with since the 5th grade). Just because it is where some couples really show how much they care for each other when you have no one, doesn't mean you should hate it. Besides, if you get someone and there is no Valentines Day, then life just gets a whole lot harder.
???
Granted, but I'm letting you know that's the dumbest defense for a holiday I've ever heard. You just said everybody that dislikes the holiday must have sour grapes, and that an arbitrary day actually makes being in a relationship easier (without which, life itself would be much harder).
Also, you actually care that not everybody is crazy about Valentine's Day.
I wish catter didn't care or mind so much what others think of a holiday.
In any case, I'm really hoping that wasn't an aside towards me. I don't actually hate the holiday itself, it's just not really something for me. I'm on both the ace & aro spectrums (read "not that big into relationships"), if the cake and free candy jokes didn't quite land how I intended (I'll grant it was kind of pedantic). I promise I'm not a cynical arse ;)
your wish is granted catter stops caring that some people in the world don't like or don't care about valentines day however a side effect of this acceptance is that she becomes apathetic to the degree that she has no interest in corrupting further wishes or really doing anything any more and vanishes from the internet.
I wish for kegereneku and gipothegip to derail this thread into a long and violent argument over something incredibly petty.
Wish granted, however I notice you and Gipothgip didn't use capital letter when spelling any name, thank you for revealing how bad you are as a person Crazyroosterman. I can't stand people who don't show respect for others like you and Gipothegp, that's where all the problem of the world come, war in Syria, trump, facebook.
What if Cater like Valentine day? it make the chocolate industry work, do you want to forbid Christmas too. Personally I respect it and shit on everyone who want to force others to like Valentine or push that day forward as if it was some kind of moral victory to be nice to your other half ONCE IN A YEAR.
Gippothegip and Crazyroosterman are just jealous because they can't get a safeplace for their wish granting game.
Don't you both agree with me? Well maybe not you Crazyroosterman, you never side with Giothegip anyway (I'm sorry but it show), what with you wishing for something bad for everyone ?
What if I and Gipothegip eventually managed to set our difference aside and work toward a constructive discussion about your obvious lack of empathy.
I wish no one derail this derailment as we set the wagons on fire.
Granted, no one will derail your derailment as you "set the wagons on fire". However, this fire will cause some anger from some 19th century settlers who are traveling to the west of America. This fight between you, the person you were arguing with, and the settlers turns into a battle that not only kills you and your enemies, but kills innocents like me...
I wish for people to know that I'm a boy cat.
Granted, everybody knows you're a boy cat, including people who didn't know of your existense prior. We do however have no idea what you were born as, so there are still some questions regarding your gender identity. Crazyroosterman continues to adress you with feminine pronouns.
I wish to rename Kegereneku "kegerator" with no capitalization. It's on now!
Wish granted, but it is reversed before you have the time to look at it.
Now between us, why the hell did you ruin the corruption derailment? I made you a bloody red carpet and yet you can't be bothered to grab him and mash his face on it? You are just like crazyroosterman, always focusing on petty stuff and missing the big pictures. That's the problem with catgirl person, they just keep intruding where they don't belong. I might as well rename myself "get of my book catter".
I wish to fuse crazyroosterman with gipothegip, because clearly there's no difference.
Granted, but with this fusion you now have an ultimate crazyroosterthegip ready to hit you with many insults and derailments with its overpowered attacks. Good luck winning this fight!
Quote from: Kegereneku on February 17, 2018, 05:47:35 AM
That's the problem with catgirl person, they just keep intruding where they don't belong. I might as well rename myself "get of my book catter".
How do I intrude? Just explain that to me, how am I intruding and "getting on your book" as you say? I don't insult, I try not to get too personal with anybody on this forum (unless they are asking for it), and I try not to judge too much.
I wish that we could all get over this derailment and move on to just corrupting without throwing ethics and ideals at those corruptions.
Granted, we all get over the current derailment, but we no longer have any ethics behind what we post in the future. There is soon another derailment, and I'm telling you it gets nasty.
I wish there were something on tv right now.
Wish granted, there is something amazing on TV right now but because of some technical problem the signal is down and you can't watch.
Instead you spend your day having to explain to catter the self-referential joke he was dragged in against his will and the irony of it.
But you were right, this derailment wasn't worth it and I hope we never fight ag... wait, there's another?
I wish my verbal kung fu was stronger.
Granted, you become the dragon warrior of verbal kung-fu. However, you now are too silver tongued for your own good and become a very good lawyer instead of a member of a meaningless forum thread or two. Now you get lots of money, but loose any verbal fight on the internet due to being a no-show when something is slung at you in this forum. Don't worry though, your reputation as a good arguer still goes undamaged because this is a very obscure forum.
I wish for the ability to stop fights without getting myself or anyone else hurt.
Quote from: catter on February 18, 2018, 06:19:06 AM
Granted, you become the dragon warrior of verbal kung-fu. However, you now are too silver tongued for your own good and become a very good lawyer instead of a member of a meaningless forum thread or two. Now you get lots of money, but loose any verbal fight on the internet due to being a no-show when something is slung at you in this forum. Don't worry though, your reputation as a good arguer still goes undamaged because this is a very obscure forum.
I wish for the ability to stop fights without getting myself or anyone else hurt.
Granted. You are really good at stopping fights, and nobody gets hurt when you do, but you can't stop them all. The troubles begin when you fail, it is catastrophic, wars are fought over what you did in an attempt stop a schoolyard diss fight. You also come off as super preachy.
I wish the Ludeon forums were more active as of late.
wish granted it doubles in activity but only because the forum becomes invaded by many many spambots.
I wish I understood what the heck kegereneku was talking about when he said catter got dragged into a self referential joke.
Granted, you now have knowledge. This makes you understand what Kegereneku meant when he said I got dragged into a self referential joke. However, this knowledge makes your brain hurt because not only do you know that now, you also know of very thing, person, being, and place in the universe. You are found on the floor of wherever you live with evidence of a brain aneurysm since you brain flew all the way to the ceiling and there was a giant hole in the top of your head. So much for being all-knowing!
I wish for there to be a Batman equivalent called Cat-man who has a Cat-mobile and a Cat-cave.
Granted, that already exists, ever watch The Fairly Oddparents? You become Timmy Turner, and have to live his life, just so you can meet Catman and know that he exists. Kegereneku assumes the role of Vicky, because reasons.
Catter is an average cat, that no one understands; mom & dad & Keger always giving him commands...
I wish Kegereneku were Catter's baby sitter in real life.
Granted, but the tables have turned on this situation... No longer am I made to suffer from any type of torture that Kegereneku makes up, now I get to decide the torture on Kegereneku. Nobody messes with me, unless they want the exact thing to happen to them.
I wish my wish didn't get transferred to The Fairly Oddparents TV show.
your wish is granted it stays firmly rooted in our reality but as a result cat man is just a marginally over weight 43 year old man who due to mental illness has deluded himself into thinking he is superhero with cat themed super powers the themed phone and cave is real enough however (though the cave is just his apartment room)
real talk im surprised nobody corrupted your wish sooner its not like its weirdly meta or ultra persifick like some of the wishes I've seen here have been.
I wish for hens and roosters to become the dominant species of this planet.
Wish granted, a project to genetically improve hens and rooters go wrong and turn them into biological weapon that spread an unstoppable virus that kill everything threatening them, including you.
After the most horrible extinction event the Earth ever knew, only this species remains at the top of the food chain.
I wish the Tomb Raider movie wasn't made by a idiot or some sort of misogynist freak and used the much greater scenario of the game (2013) it was supposed to be inspired from.
Granted, in fact the movie is a game based on the 2013 Tomb Raider game. However, the person who made this very interactive movie forgot to get the rights to the Tomb Raider series and was put in jail for copyright issues. He was also sued and lost all his earnings and his new movie was never released.
I wish this thread was paid more attention to.
Granted. Now everybody in the world pays close attention to this thread, attracting enough people to make Facebook jealous. Unfortunately, the amount of people involved with a community is proportional to how much cancer there is in said community. As a result, the cancer levels in this thread reach ludicrous heights. Everybody who views this thread instantly gets stage IV everything cancer. And since everybody is viewing this thread, that means that everybody also gets stave IV everything cancer. Humanity goes extinct within a year.
I wish that I had telekinetic powers.
Wish granted, you can now move object using your brain within the limit of the laws of physics.
By that I mean that any force you apply by telekinetic mean is transmitted to your brain. Twisting a spoon also require you to literally twist your physical brain. It is extremely painful and you lose more than a few brain-cells that way. But you didn't knew that at first and believed the headache meant you needed more training.
Eventually you see some very fast moving object coming toward you, or someone else, in the hurry you try to use your telekinetic power to prevent the collision but you greatly overestimated how much inertia was involved and it destroy your brain by blunt trauma.
I wish I had a flying car, accredited, safe, easy to use, economical in fuel and impossible to steal.
Okay... hmm... granted.
You get the perfect flying car, however, it is so perfect, that you lack the ability to leave. I don't blame you! It's so fast... You can't crash if you try, everyone admires you...
You die of dehydration 4 days later.
I wish I could manipulate game developers to add new features and make new games on a whim.
Granted. However, this doesn't mean your ideas are always good, or translated perfectly. Furthermore, this detracts from development on existing projects and features, since they were so easily manipulated into implementing your ideas on a whim. This puts a lot of games you like into development hell, and they don't always turn out as well as had you left them be to finish the project.
I wish I were more focused, and could stay on track.
Wish granted, you are now totally focused and on track. But TOO much on track. 100% on track. You end up working infinitly, only taking a break to piss,eat and drink. You stop any social interaction ( and so become like me ) and never entertein yourself, never play video game, never go on this forum ever again and etc... while endlessly working until you end your life, alone, while hardly working, while still young.
I wish to get multiples grades of 90% at my hard private school.
Granted, you now get high grades for each class at you hard private school. However, you have to pay for it by loosing a body part for every class for every grading period. This starts with some of the most important body parts like limbs and internal organs.
I wish for a grand finale for this thread.
Grated, but a moderator demands that this thread continue.
I wish that school ended. Permanently.
Quote from: ruddthree on June 10, 2018, 02:22:55 PM
Grated, but a moderator demands that this thread continue.
For info I actually reported this thread asking the moderator help to give it a ironic Moderator-enforced locked-thread ending.
Alas I had no answer.
Quote
I wish that school ended. Permanently.
Wish granted, now every parents are required to teach their child at home, which is time consuming and extremely frustrating in this era. Soon enough children start begging to go back at school where they can have friends their ages and have teacher who aren't on their back all the time.
I wish for a greater grand final to this thread than what catter could hope for.
(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
Granted, now this thread finally ends with a bang. A big bang. Large enough to destroy the globe bang. This ends with billions dead and the internet being incinerated.
On the plus side, all the cat hairs of the planet are sent out across the galaxy for aliens to find and replicate. Cats soon come back into existence...
I wish this wish isn't answered.
I would have not answered it but I decided to anyway to troll you, haha idiot
I wish that the media and politicians understood the true power of gamers
Granted, now they mis-use and over-use the power of gamers killing their political careers.
I wish for a boat back to Libera so that I can pay a fisherman $10 to take me to Los Angeles.
Granted, however Libera is a choir, not a geographical location or state; Your attempts to bring your boat wherever they perform proves futile, so you have to either take the bus or call a cab, which ultimately costs you the $10 you intended to pay the fisherman. You do have a new boat though, so enjoy your weathered log raft. A word of caution, it might not be seaworthy.
I wish I were good at drawing.
Granted, but you can never share what you draw with anyone.
I wish for tree fiddy
Granted, but the money given to you had a curse. You were send forward in time one century, and once you returned, that 3.50 dollars became 95% of the global GDP of a future dystopian Earth, and every faction is sending its assassins to eliminate you, a perceived dangerously enterprising individual capable of destabilizing the entire interstellar financial system.
I wish I could go back in time to ancient Athens and introduce the printing press.
Granted. However, because this is in the past you cause your birth to never occur, and the Nazis win World War II and take over the world... Good job... What would the Greeks want with a printing press anyways?
I wish for an unending death to this thread.
Wish granted, every single time you post people take more and more time to answer and you feel responsible for that so you desperately try to revive the thread with a nifty comment about cat that will amaze everyone but it keep happening.
Afraid of being the one poster who killed the thread, you eventually resort to use multiple account "just until it make the thread GREAT AGAIN"
... or so you thought, years later you filled 13 pages with your fake account (who strangely all have a unending fascination with cats and renting apartment in hell).
I wish to not be the last person to ever post on this thread.
Granted, but a doppelganger of yourself will end the thread and will mistake you for him.
I wish for no reason to continue this thread.
Granted. Everyone realizes that there is no reason to continuing the thread however, and as such just stop responding to it.
I wish this damn sunburn would go away.
Granted, you loose your irritating sunburn only to get an irritating bug-bite.
I wish for a new hole in the ground without me falling into it.
Quote from: catter on July 04, 2018, 03:05:59 PM
I wish for a new hole in the ground without me falling into it.
Granted, but almost everything worth having is inside the hole.
I wish that I had a bag of chips.
Granted, it lays on the ground next to you. Suddenly you and the chips are launched 5000 feet into the air and the bag of chips explode due to horrible creation of the bag and change in air pressure. Now all your chips are on the ground with the bag in tatters. Plus you are stranded on a floating island of dirt 5000 feet in the air.
I wish for normality to be abnormal.
^^
Why that last post was made i do not know... However, a bump couldn't do too much harm.
I revise my wish to this: I wish for a fluffy white pillow.
Quote from: catter on May 22, 2019, 12:39:09 AM
^^
Why that last post was made i do not know... However, a bump couldn't do too much harm.
I revise my wish to this: I wish for a fluffy white pillow.
The outside is made out of a very white person's skin, the inside is normal tho.
You forgot to make a wish after corrupting. You FOOL! Now i make another wish.
I wish for a bucket of fish.
Quote from: catter on May 25, 2019, 02:14:52 PM
You forgot to make a wish after corrupting. You FOOL! Now i make another wish.
I wish for a bucket of fish.
Granted, but the bucket gets as big as a your hell apartment and the fish more delicious, after 10 minutes you died of overfeeding and you go to Ultra-Hell where Rimworld is forbidden and playing bad creepypasta games like Sonic.exe is the only source of entertainment.
Now, i must wish for a friendly talking cowboy hat
Granted, your friendly cowboy hat can talk to you now. However, only you can hear it talking and to other people it seems like a normal cowboy hat. Eventually you are institutionalized and you have to watch your hat burn as therapy to your "illness". You eventually find out this road had a dark ending.
I wish for a chocolate bar.
Granted, you now have a chocolate bar, but your shock that your wish came true caused you to go into a coma. When you wake up, you discover that you now have permanent paranoia that all things brown are human waste. You then realize that the chocolate bar you wished for is on your lap, and when you jump back in disgust, you hit your head on the chair, recieve a concussion, and die. What a way to go.
I wish that I could actually afford a real computer. :P
Granted, you get the money but when you're just about to buy the computer you get shot because I was going to reply to him, you useless pyromaniac traited pawn!
I wish for tasty soup.
You get a bowl of tasty soup. However, this soup is also poisoned. You die a painful death.
I wish for a carrot.
Carrot not tasty nor healty, carrot useless.
Me wish for brain
You now have a brain. A human brain. It drives you crazy since you want to kill all humans, but you yourself are a human due to your new brain. Nobody is sure whether you committed suicide or had a brain aneurysm.
I wish for a better, more useful carrot
Granted, but the carrot lures 500 Man Hunting Hares ino your house and they bite your head off.
I wish for 3 dollars
Granted, but now there are 500 cops outside your living space telling you to give back the money and to allow yourself to be arrested. Guess you should have been specific on where you got the money...
I wish for a balloon ride out of the "hare" raising situation the carrot brought me into.
Granted, but the balloon has some seeds inside so thousands of birds will try to get them and the balloon will explode.
I wish for 5 dollars in a perfectly legal way.
You now have 5 dollars... in monopoly money. It was a perfectly legal transaction, but now you can't spend it on anything.
I wish for a rope.
Granted, but you get suicidal thoughts out of nowhere and you end up hanging yourself.
I wish to own Monopoly, literally just the trademark so i can do anything i want with it.
Granted, but by the time you own it, the trademark has long since been dead. There is now no point in changing anything about the game.
I wish for a very short tree to hang myself from so that i don't actually get hurt while hanging...
You hang yourself in the small tree but the rope is too tight and you can't get it out of your neck, 25 years later, the small tree has grown into a big one but it doesn't matter anyway because you starved years ago
I wish for a horse, GiddyUp Core and GiddyUp Battle Mounts so i can destroy the nearby human camp
Granted, but it takes so long for the game to load the mod that the human village built a ship and flew away before you got to them.
I wish for a knife.
Granted, but a truck kills you, yes, just that.
I wish for a truck
Wish granted, you get a truck. When you open the rear you discovers it was full of angry cat who tear you to piece.
I wish for the modder who made the "Nature's Pretty Sweet" mod to work on it some more.
Granted, however the modder decides to take a whole new direction which is the opposite of what you wanted to be done.
I wish for sharp claws.
Granted, but the claws reduce your mobility by 95%, you die while trying to eat a lavish meal when your hand slips and cuts your head off
I wish for luciferium
Granted, but your body instead gives out on you. A luciferium allergy is nothing to sneeze at.
I wish for a nail file.
I don't know what's that but granted, you get eaten by a colony of canibbal cats.
I wish to know what a nail file is
You now know what a nail file is. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nail_file) This, however, makes you face-palm so hard that your nose breaks. You face-palmed because this is a common household item that most humans have.
I wish a sander.
Wish granted, Bernie Sander appear in front of you, quite puzzled over why he is here.
I wish to be the minion of a supervillain, the kind that always survive.
Granted, but the supervillain you are a minion of survives because their minions take all the damage for them. This also means you will die for them.
I wish for Bernie Sanders to turn into the power tool known as a sander.
Like Trump with the bankrupt US-American political system, I think you just broke this thread.
Hi fuckos
Granted. Bernie becomes a sander, he's Sander Bernie (Funniest shit i've ever seen)
Wish for this thread to be revived
Granted, but one squirrel was harmed in the making of this wish: you.
I wish to know why I was called a fucko.
Granted. You realize you are, in fact, a fucko.
I wish for a jar full off air
Granted, but you must empty it every hour or else it will explode right next to you (it will even teleport just to do such a thing).
I wish to no longer be a fucko.
Granted. You now are a fuckie.
I wish for infinite coronavirus quarantine
Granted, the whole population of Earth has been atomized and scattered across the universe and all of them are equidistant between any nearby matter.
I wish I was no longer called anything containing "fuck" in its spelling.
Granted, you are now a fucco.
I wish for my Fallout 4 disc to repair itself so i can play again
Granted, but instead of playing Fallout 4, you are playing Fall-In 4. Basically a game about the drudgery of being in the American Army stationed at a base in the U.S.
I wish to not be anything even related to what "fucko" or "fucco" implies.
Granted. I ran out of ideas so you fall out of a window into a cactus
I wish for tow truck
Granted, but you must forever look like a stereotypical hillbilly for as long as you own it.
I wish the cactus had fur instead of spines.
Granted. PETA lynchs you and euthanizes you because you have an owner.
I wish to be actually good at Team Fortress 2
Granted, but nobody plays the game anymore.
I wish to stop the animal lynches. We have rights too you know.
Granted. You appear dead in your hell apartment. You just don't insult TF2
I wish for people to play Team Fortress 2.
Granted, but you will always be redirected to a server that nobody can reach.
I wish to make you realize that dying in the hell apartments only means that I have to pick up a body and clean up some blood.
Granted. Does that mean you respawn? Or do you spawn in hell and the spawn point is coincidencially in your apartment? Anyways my head explodes and you get sent to prison for life for it.
I wish for a cheese and ham sandwich. With a thin layer of mayo between the cheese and bread and ketchup between the ham and cheese. (If you don't get this right i'll sue you)
Granted, but you have to give up your right to sue in order to eat it.
I wish I was alive so that I could go to court.
Granted, you come back from the dead. Now you have the ability to go to the Food Court, not to you know, Law Court.
I wish for head to stop itching
Granted, the nerves on the top of your head stop transmitting any and all signals. However, that fire on your head looks to be getting bigger...
I wish to get a ham and cheddar on wheat.
Granted. You die because of intolerance to wheat. I don't remember how it's called
I wish for a fire extinguisher
Granted, but you forgot how to use it and get a face-full of asphyxiation.
I wish that I wasn't gluten intolerant.
Granted, but bread doesn't exist anymore.
I wish for one last loaf of bread
Granted.
To make sure your loaf of bread really is the last loaf, anything that can be turned into bread disappears. So does everyone who knows how to make bread, as well as every bit of information -both physical and digital- about bread and breadmaking, and anyone who might want to or need to make bread.
The sudden disappearance of an extremely large amount of plants, people, information, etc cause several countries to fall into anarchy and several ecosystems to collapse.
I wish I didn't forget all the rules of this thread.
I really really wish I hadn't forgotten all the rules of this thread before I went around posting again.
Granted, the rules are the only thing you know.
I wish AllenWL knew how to breath as well.
Granted. He also goes to the first post of this topic and reads the rules. Oh and he exhales sulfuric acid so you die and stuff.
I wish for my doggo to be here. I want to pet him.
Granted, but upon seeing you in your normal state (A squirrel) he looses control to his instincts to chase you up a tree.
I wish for a really strong base (as opposed to an acid).
Uh...shit
Granted, but you find yourself in posetion of area 51, it's a really strong military base.
Wish for me chemistry knowledegery
Granted, but I will add a caveat.
I wish for ManHuntingSquirrel to know chemistry, but they must be taught by a teacher with a heavy speech impediment/accent.
Granted. I have brain implants. You have no power over my understanding of language.
I wish for all my homework to be due in different days rather than 80% of them being due in the same fucking day.
Granted, but in order to do so the teacher runs the due date for every assignment through a true randomizing algorithm that only allows dates in which there will be school... Seems that project you were assigned today was due five weeks ago.
I wish to know how you figured out the system as you have made a wish a corruption and granted a wish without corruption and didn't even break the rules...
The homework was updated on the 21 of april and one of the new assignments was due in the 19 of april, so your corruption isn't too far off from reality...
Oh, yes, the wish. Granted, you now know, but your little cat brain becomes overwhelmed because of all the information that has led me to this state of omnipotence, and explodes into a pink mist.
I wish for a pink, edible carrot.
Granted, but in order to become omnipotent your body had to become separated from this plane of existence. While you may be able to manipulate minor things in this world (like typing at a keyboard), you cannot lift heavy items or consume anything. Welcome to observer-hood... soon enough you won't even be able to interact with the world at all.
I wish for a bucket of melons.
Granted. You get a bucket of demons, as requested. My eyes are slowly becoming incapable of interacting with light, So i'm sorry if i got your wish wrong.
I wish for a Salad Ballad (Whatever that means is up to you)
Granted, you own the rights to a really corny bardic ballad of different kinds of salad. However, you have to listen to it every day from a corny looking bard. If you try to rid yourself of the song or the player you have to serve time as a bard for all of eternity.
I wish for the bucket of demons to melt into a bucket of lava.
Granted. But they become lava demons the size and shape of a bucket, much more dangerous and fast.
Shame on you! You forgot to wish! Now I can only wish instead of corrupt...
I wish for the lava demons to turn into shale imps instead. Also, make their target someone besides me.
Granted. That target is a thermonuclear bomb. Oops...
I wish for some bullshit.
Granted, it plops right onto your face.
I wish for there to be more wishers...
Granted, they have no idea what to wish.
I have no idea what to wish. I wish for you to wish my wish.
Granted, but the wish must be corrupted two different ways by the next poster.
I wish for a bottle of motor oil.
So i guess i have to corrupt your wish twice since it's also technically mine? Help i don't have ideas. HEEEEEEELP. It explodes on your hands and then explodes in my hands
I wish for the originality
Granted, but originality is unoriginal and therefore impossible. With this fact the originality is useless.
I wish for squirrel-hunting man.
Granted. It doesn't work though. The explosion already killed me, remember?
I wish to come back to life.
Granted, but the squirrel-hunting man finds a way to banish you to the astral plane.
I wish to relocate the hell apartment to a place between the astral plane and hell.
Granted. Your hell apartment is now in the purgatory, but you're arrested for fraud for claiming your apartment is from hell when in reality it's just an earth apartment in hell.
I wish for a heaven home
Granted. It was built right next to a freeway in purgatory, and there is a noisy ice machine somewhere in this house, you just can't find it. Oh, I forgot to mention the airport nearby... lots of jets land there everyday, so it could be a bit more noisy... especially when the train to hell rolls by every hour.
I wish for a good lawyer to bail me out of this fraud case as I have legitimate papers from a saint that I could build on that property in hell and then the property in purgatory. It's not my fault I was inspired by human 1980's design.
Granted. Because of all the years your apartment has been at hell, it's actually incredibly hot, you just got used to it. My point is, you forgot the papers under a desk lamp, and combined with heat of the lamp and hell, the papers catch fire and later so does your apartment. You get expelled from purgatory becuase the police thinks you did it in purpose to get your insurance money. Though you're welcome wiht open arms to hell, due to you getting expelled with arson charges.
I wish for you to send a man-hunting monkey to my home to turn off my bionic ears.
Granted, but he also slings poop bombs at you is you dare even look at it or acknowledge its existence. Even then it might throw one or two at you just in case.
I wish to have the materials to rebuild a more legal hotel that works for both purgatory, heaven and hell.
Granted. Ocassionally, your teleporting apartment (Yes, it teleports through all the realms you mentioned) ends up inside someone else's private property or with people inside of it, and sometimes they appear engraved into the wall. For this, you are forced to go back to the realm of mortals for kidnapping, involuntary manslaughter, involuntary angelslaughter, involuntary demonslaughter, and trespasssing.
I wish for the monkey to massage me. Killing humans makes your shoulders hurt like nothing else.
Granted, the monkey massages you... but it so unskilled and so strong that they instead break your fragile back...
I wish for the teleporting to stop and just leave the hotel in one, legal spot: hell.
Granted. Though the heater/radiator is on heaven mode, which means it thinks you're at 40 degrees below zero. Remember, heaven is higher up than Mount Everest!
I wish for...You know? I've seen people with worst massaging skills, i have no problem with the monkey. Give me an ice cream.
Granted, right when you are about to take a bite/lick you scream out in agony as if you had just been run through a roller or a rock-crushing machine. Also your ice cream just fell on the ground and is being eaten by a bunch of bugs.
I wish for the heater to vent out into the hellfire that surrounds my pristine and fire-proof hotel.
Granted. The heater heats the heated hell of hatred, but it also cools your cool apartment of coolery to an extent where you freeze to death.
I wish for ANOTHER ice cream.
Granted, this time it is your most hated flavor.
I wish to ask ManHuntingSquirrel something:
How can you die, if you're already dead?
Granted. The answer to this question seems simple, but as it turns out, the pure uncut horror of the description of the place you go after you die in hell could be considered Lovecraftian, an horror or a presence that makes people mad just at the sight of it, or in this case, a vivid description. Don't ask again, it's for your own good this time.
I wish for TONS and TONS of my most hated flavour, since that flavor is one of the 2 my grandma can eat. Oh i also wish for a mailman to take it to her, i sure hope he doesn't get shot in the head by a man with a chess table as a suit.
Granted, the tons and tons of ice cream all land on you in a giant heap. As for the mailman, he never gets shot in that exact manner... In fact, he gets attacked by a rabid German Shepard and dies of complications to infection.
I wish for ManHunterSquirrel to join me in this Lovecraftian horrorterror dimension. As you can see, it isn't so bad once you add the green sun and a horrorterror killing machine known as Lord English (https://mspaintadventures.fandom.com/wiki/Lord_English)
Granted, you turn into stone and my description juice ran out, so imagine the consequences for that.
I wish for a game of chess with you.
Granted, but I'm taking black.
I wish to win this chess match.
Granted, you win. It was a quite enjoyable match. When you finish tidying up the pieces, you get your sight obstructed by some letters, apparently engraved on your eye.
Do you wish to play again?
I wish for you to say yes
Granted, I say yes, but instead of playing again I just sit there. After about an hour, you leave and you get your sight obstructed by some letters, apparently engraved on your eye.
Do you wish to play again?
I wish for the madness to end with this.
Granted. However, your sight is still obstructed, but not with the unholy words of replayability, but with ones that can and will cause you an existential crisis.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Do you wish to wake up?WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
You look all around, you try to count your fingers, and try to read something and read it again. Everything points toward you being awake. You choose "Yes" as an answer, and quickly you can't smell, touch, taste, only barely hear and differenciate shadow from light.
You, worried, quickly spout a corruption and wish of your own. You feel like if you were being torn apart, but also duplicated. Strangely, you find pleasure in this. WAKE UP
Scared, you scream "8520", but your horrified scream doesn't sound like if it was said by just Catter, but by 2 catters. Once again you are torn apart and duplicated, still finding pleasure.
Horrified, praying to god that this is a dream, you scream "He's an outlaw loose and runnin', came a whisper from each 449 lips". This time it is said by 4 Catters, and once again you get torn apart.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
Several days pass, you try to scream, but you can't. Everytime you try to you get flooded with memories of the sayings of a cupcake, an emperor or even god who rules over sand dunes, and what seems to be a man dressed in a suit wearing a black moustache. You can't fully remember who they were, they're only faint memories.
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
1 week later, you hear a response. This creature, your only hope, says "8520". You realise, that creature is me. We're condemned to count, wish, and corrupt, with our only reward being mitosis. You realise, that those faint memories were of the ones that started these threads, now more threads of DNA than forum ones. You realise, that there is no way out, the only thing that will keep you alive is the orgasmic feel of being duplicated, of reproducing. I'm sorry Catter, but we have to create a future for the next counters, before we finish our function as simple cells and die.
I'm so sorry, Catter,
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
But we have to keep wishing...
WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP
I wish for any ways of getting out, if there are, to be eliminated. We can't let our species go extinct
Granted, but when you refer to "our" you are talking about you and the monkey that keeps trying to assassinate you. There is no escape for you and the monkey to stop being in conflict with each other. However, you do find it odd that there are a bunch of black cat hairs everywhere.
I wish to become the universe in its entirety by multiplying so much.
Granted. You already have, you just had to share half with me. Everytime we reproduce we're expanding the universe.
I wish for legs for our cellular selves.
Granted, but while you got bigger by becoming the size of a cell, I became smaller and became the size of an atom. I now multiply to replace every atom in the universe and that includes your ever-multiplying cell sized selves. In fact, every reproduction of you is made of me and that means I control you.
I wish to make ManHuntingSquirrel corrupt my wish to make everything back to the way it was (I.E. where I was a black cat who was smart enough to chat online and ManHuntingSquirrel was a squirrel crazy enough to try and kill humans).
I am going to make an innovation by wishing first then corrupting. I wish that i can deny a wish, just once.
Impossible. You realize it was always like this, our "lifes" were only training for us to know how to count, sing meme songs, make pop culture references and develop inside jokes. When you woke up all that hapenned is that the universe dropped the veil of life and revealed our true purpose: Counting and wishing. The veil can only work when you don't know it's there, thus we're condemned to live without it.
Granted, but every iteration of yourself is banished to Paradox Space as the wish you deny is your own wish for the ability to deny one wish.
I have the ability of altering space, but what is the power of space if it can't change what matters? I wish for time powers as well...
Granted. You get time powers, but why use them? They can only take you to the past, just delaying the count and wishing.
I wish for me to understand your corruption.
Granted, right when I finish my long-winded explanation you begin to realize that I have stopped growing in number for some reason. Upon this realization, you start to ask a question, but before you get one word out you are hit with great force as if the universe itself had punched you with a mighty fist. You and your iterations were hit so hard that you realized that you didn't corrupt my wish in a good manner and slowly meld back into one entity again... forgetting this madness and wondering why the heck you are floating in the middle of space.
I wish to crate a tasty meal for paradox space: going back in time to before I entered the chess match and cosmically force there to be no chess match at all (dooming the timeline in which I was given my powers). However before I also die from being from a doomed timeline I create a time clone of myself and send them back to right before the creation of the universe so that I am the universe as well as my ignorant self that has no idea what really goes on.
Granted. You have to create a clone of me too though. Ehhh... I can't think of a good corruption, i need to "read more Lovecraft" (Play more Bloodborne)
I wish for the Demon's Souls remake to come out on PS4 as well.
Granted, but nobody buys it after a mysterious incident involving a PS4 and a completely red room under some stairs.
I wish to understand why you want to "read more Lovecraft".
Granted. You again get your eyes obstructed by helish words, you try to stay calm and make them go away but you can't. You give up and let your wild curiosity win. You read "To get the platinum bitch" and shortly after the words dissapear. You sigh in relief.
I wish for FUCKING EBRIETAS to don't do her FUCKING CHARGE ATTACK when i'm just ONE METER AWAY FROM HER, FUCK.
Granted, but now all your weapons are useless.
I wish to have ham-steak.
Granted. You, however, recieve steak-ham. It tastes terrible.
I wish for uhhhhhhh large pepperoni pizza
Granted, but it has bones in it.
I wish for uhhh... Boneless pizza?
Granted. You burn your hand, because boneless pizza is just melted cheese mate. You just gave me regular pizza.
I wish for uhhhhh a tour to the tower of Pisa
Granted, however it is more horizontal than you thought it was... Oh wait, that was the tower falling over right when you entered.
I wish I could see who I will meet in the future.
Granted. You meet Hitler. Having an apartment in Hell has it's disadvantages you know?
I wish for uhhhh burger cheese huge fuck
Granted, but you have to watch 400 hours of a show called Franchises. It's about a clown catching various criminals (like a southern Colonel who committed war crimes against chicken) for a king and his red haired daughter who fell in love with a toy joker. It is rated R, but that's only because the King's favorite word is f*ck.
I wish to know why I created this monstrosity of a TV show concept (without getting metaphysical about it).
Granted. Hitler corrupted your mind, that's why you made that horrible TV show concept.
I wish for all my homework to finish itself.
Granted, but because the homework is only as smart as a paper and a pencil you will get an F on them.
I wish for a whale shark.
Granted. The whale shark gets angry at you and kills you with a club made out of coral.
I wish for you to realize that i do my homework with keyboard and mouse, and given that they both have intricate and intelligent designs, i get an A
Granted, but in return you must realize that a keyboard as well as a mouse can neither think nor calculate (except in very rare cases) so the best you are going to get is a D as basic math is an elementary subject.
I wish for the ability to stay determined no matter what.
Granted. Something something Undertale reference something blah blah and you die
I wish for uhhhhhh black slim PS4
Granted, but it was dropped in a lake while powered on before it was given to you. Hope you can repair short-circuited electronics!
I wish for rope.
Not again! Anyways...
Granted, however it comes with a label attached to it, it says "Sad rope". A few minutes later you get sad and hang yourself. It is sad.
I wish for uhhhhh an early PS5
Granted, however it bricks itself (i.e. becomes useless by short circuiting or something similar) anytime you try to run it as it is only an early prototype.
I wish my rope wish didn't get corrupted to become a suicide.
Granted. However, the rope dissapears as it was only crafted with the intent of being cursed.
I wish for working PS5, and an early one at that.
Granted, but it seems to be covered in dust, and when you try to run it, the battery isn't in very good health either.
I wish I could redo yesterday.
Granted, you appear in the middle of space because you traveled in time but the Earth has moved a lot since. I don't think i need to say what happens next.
Actually, i do. I wish for a space rocket and 2 spacesuits so i can rescue you.
Granted, but the ship is out of fuel and your rescue attempt only saved me from dying, but not from having a sub-orbital trajectory.
I wish the heat-shield worked on the spaceship ManHuntingSquirrel wished for.
Granted, however this heat-shield works by using air conditioners to cool the spaceship (Don't ask how that works). When you reach the land, the ship's inside is -80 degrees, and you die.
I wish for my cat to come back, he's been lost for a day now.
Granted, however you become patient zero for the new zombie apocalypse as your cat was a zombie and bit you.
I wish I didn't freeze to death on that spaceship.
Granted, you instead die of a lack of oxygen because the ship is torn apart from not having a proper hat-shield.
I wish for healthy catto.
Granted, but the "catto" is me and not your lost cat who came back as a zombie.
I wish for a bunker.
Granted. However you are transported to victorian britain, where adding "er" to words was very popular. The point is, you get a bunker, or what it's called today; A bunk bed.
I wish for nuclear apocalypse, and a fridge full pf Nuka-Cola.
Granted, but the Nuka-Cola is right behind a very angry Deathclaw.
I wish the bunker beder was in the bunkerer.
Granted, infront of you a carpenter specialized in bunk beds appears in front of you. Sadly, you can't afford his services.
I wish for a cup of ramen noodles. I'm not the first one to wish this.
Granted, but you are out in the middle of the Sahara in a sandstorm with no water nearby.
I wish to have enough money to pay this expensive carpenter to build me a bunkerer.
Granted, your bank account is quickly filled with money, and you're arrested for money laundering.
I wish for an ant.
Granted, but it will suplexes you into my jail cell.
I wish for a file (the paper kind and not the metal or nail kind).
Damn you Catter! I stayed up to 5 AM to catch you posting, and it totally wasn't because i downed a glass full of Coca Cola 3 hours ago and i can't sleep because of it! Well, anyways...
Granted, however it IS a metal or nail kind.
I wish for a metal or nail file.
Granted, but since the guards already took mine, they'll take yours as well.
I wish to speak to my lawyer.
Granted. You contact your lawyer, however you can barely hear him over the phone and you misunderstand the strategy to win in court is to plead guilty.
I wish to take you out of prison.
Granted, but it is before our trials and so we are fugitives.
I wish we could run fast.
Granted, you run so F A S T that you surpass soundspeed and desintegrate due to air resistance and friction.
I wish to have Flash's suit that prevents things such as what hapenned to you!
Granted, as the suit gently falls onto your particles, you realize that it is too late for the suit to help you as you went just as fast as me at the exact same time.
I wish to reintegrate after the cops stop looking for me.
Granted, you reintegrate after they stop looking for you but after you do, you crash into the police station.
I wish to reintegrate and stop on my tracks.
Granted, but you had to use the flash suit as the break... It kinda' took a beating from that. It has become useless to you now.
I wish to un-splat from the police station wall and and find a good get-away vehicle.
Granted, you enter the car and start driving. You blink and suddenly there is no city, only forest. You crash, destroying the car. Shouldn't have picked a Delorean.
I wish to run as fast as Usain Bolt
Granted, you sprint for about 100 meters and then are unable to move. Real fast running, real slow recovery.
I wish to survive the crash and find a blue box in the middle of this forest.
Granted. You find a cardboard box painted blue. It has no use.
I wish for the box to have an use.
Granted, it runs on imagination power and become any kind of vehicle you imagine it to be... so long as you can dodge all the nightmares and fears you may have. If you do happen to hit either of those things, the box will shred to pieces.
I wish I was REALLY good at flying a piloted drone-like aircraft.
Granted. Good luck actually getting one though.
I wish for apple juice
Granted, but by this time you have been caught again and put back into maximum security. The apple juice should be enough to get you ready for execution... oh wait, is that the prank apple juice bottle?
I wish to land safely.
Granted, you land safely on Point Nemo. You drown to death.
I wish for a jailcell for myself, no other people.
Granted, but you only get to keep it for a few days. Death row waits for no squirrel.
I wish I had a flotation device before I hit the water at Point Nemo.
Granted. You get an antigravity belt. It has two states: Launch and descend. Launch reverts gravity and takes you to space, although you'll die before exiting the thermosphere because of the sheer speed you're traveling at. Descend increases gravity. That brings you to the bottom of the ocean, no use for that. Good luck traveling at any other direction than up or down with that!
I wish for my body to be resistant to whatever execution method they use on me.
Granted, but in order to survive a speeding train your body has become unable to move (but is very durable).
I wish I didn't have this useless anti-gravity belt.
Granted. You now have a copy of Dark Souls for the PS3 and a gardening magazine. At least it's not an useless anti-gravity belt.
I wish for me to be able to move but keep my resistance as it is.
Granted, you are now unstoppable. Everything that could have killed you will now never even hurt you. You slowly grow insane as you now have done anything and everything your body allows you to do. You turn to violence to stop the boredom. Nothing helps... slowly you kill and watch time fly by over millions and millions of eons. Eventually you do die... the end of the universe sees to that. Right as you think it is all over though, you find yourself right where it all began. The loop is ceaseless. Your nearly endless life loops over and over again from the moment you became unable to be killed to the end of the universe. You could potentially get out of it, but the monotony of being undying has left you so numb that you might have forgotten.
I wish to still survive the fall into the water (without becoming unable to be killed) and swim to shore.
Hey, you got metaphysical and Lovecraftian? Nice.
Granted. However you die of exhaustion after reaching the shoreline.
I wish to have infinite patience, a purpose, and someone to talk to while i wa- Oh, oh right... Uh i wish for a pizza.
Granted, but it removes your inability to be killed.
I wish for a blow-drier.
Granted. You get arrested for suspicious handling of salmon. No wonder that blow-drier smelled funny.
I wish to know what a blow-drier is
Granted, you get stuffed into one right after you learn all about it.
I wish to have a lawyer who is actually good.
Granted. However the charges are too much for your lawyer and you lose the case.
I wish to know what I learnt
Granted, but you have just been cursed to have short-term memory loss. You will now be stuck trying to figure out what you learned unless distracted by something else.
I wish for a nice and comfortable jail-cell.
Granted, you are thrown into one of those cushiony jail cells, and they have strapped you so you can't scratch the walls.
I wish for have good memory i wish for have good memmory aga i wish for have good memor
Granted, but you forgot what a hair-drier is.
I wish Wikipedia was actually accurate.
Granted. The world starts changing according to Wikipedia, history books modified, photos edited, and film remade. RIP Gordon Freeman from All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.
I wish for not lose memory
Granted, but you find that life was better when you didn't remember things.
I wish for the world to revert back to the way it was (I.E. Before the world was made to be more like Wikipedia)
Granted. However before, you could modify history however you wanted. You could have prevented the first world war, the Holocaust, and many other things. It is this guilt that drives you to suicide.
I wish for not remember
Granted, but your name is now Korg and you tap-dance for people at a circus.
I wish to have a hamburger.
Granted. It's rotten, and you die of food poisoning
I wish to...You know what i like my new life, i want to tap dance for a living
Granted, you tap dance for a living, and if you ever stop tap-dancing it's back to poverty you go.
I wish to have a more complex (but not too complex like existential corruptions) corruption of my hamburger wish.
Granted. The hamburger is rotten, and you get severe food poisoning. Rather than be interned in the hospital you go to the Himalayas for a last trip before you die, to discover the meaning of life. During your 7th day of exploration, you catch a glimpse of a sillhouete, it's too big to be a person, and it couldn't be a gorilla. Over the next days your only objective is to catch the criature, and after months of searching, finding, and losing the beast, you finally catch it. It's a Yeti! You hand it over to Nepalese scientists, and soon enough the whole country knows about what you did, and then the world. You gain millions, a beautiful wife, and...
These are the hallucinations of a cat, dying of cold and food poisoning in the Himalayas. His corpse never to be found.
I wish to keep tap-dancing, and to keep counting to 20.000 in the other thread
Granted, but you realize that said thread doesn't exist. It was but an illusion that died when it reached 9,000.
I wish for my body to be found.
Welp. Rip the thread i guess.
Granted, your body is found by hungry cannibals.
I wish for car.
Granted, it's a red Plymouth filled with angry, cannibal squirrels.
I wish for the cannibals to raise me from the dead to be their village pet.
Granted, you're out there fighting Z's.
I wish for ZVaccine. hahaha
Granted, but there is no zombie apocalypse to cure so the information eventually gets lost... Then when the vaccine is needed again, people have to re-invent it.
I wish that ZVaccine was what I just described and not a real vaccine (because if it is a real vaccine name, then I will have to explain my laziness which will end in me just feeling ashamed)...
Granted, the vaccines are a bunch of 1's and 0's, good luck injecting electrons on your bloodstream.
I wish for caca
Granted, a big pile of horse and cow manure land on your head.
I wish for the power of responstibility.
Granted, you are put in charge of all the babies in the world. Soon enough, you're buried under a big pile of baby manure.
I wish for peepee
Granted... it is underwhelming and grotesque as it was severed from someone a while ago and has yet to be reattached.
I wish for this baby manure to be relocated onto a particular someone who asked for caca recently.
Granted, sadly i have to corrupt this even if i like it. It is relocated onto a cat i know
I wish for vomit
Granted, you cannot stop vomiting. Eventually you pass out due to exhaustion and later starve due to not eating for long enough. Guess you shouldn't provoke Tynan's bugs...
I wish for motive, opportunity, and means.
Granted, because of them you stop counting, because you actually have something to do that is not spending 2 years of your life typing little numbers in a god forsaken forum with a guy that as far as you know could be a holocaust denier.
I wish for an uhhhhhh ______ pizza
Granted, however this blank pizza is a bit bland for your tastes.
I wish to understand the subtle difference between hope and determination.
Granted. Hope is a word that you tatoo on your arm, determination is funi sans word.
I wish of less bland uhhhhh ____ pizza
Granted, you now get a blank pizza that tastes like electric sparks and ozone.
I wish for the end to draw in dramatically.
Well, there you have it. It ended dramatically, we all just went our own separate ways. Not necessarily exciting or frenetic, but surely dramatically.
I wish for you to see this Catter lol