Corrupt-A-Wish

[mabor0shi]

granting...
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There has been an error processing your request. The corruption file may have been corrupted. Please remove paradoxes and try again.

Wish generating program initiated...

Error. Retrieving backup wish...

I wish for the SCP-foundation to finally kill SCP-682

[AllenWL]

Your wish is granted and SCP-682 is killed.
However, it is discovered that SCP-682 reproduces by dying, similar to a phoenix being reborn from its ashes, but with multiple young crawling out of its corpse instead, in great numbers.
This results in SCP-682-1~SCP-682-72. Of these, SCP-682-4, SCP-682-67, SCP-682-36, SCP-682-63, and SCP-682-47 escape.
Massive amounts of human lives are lost before all escaped SCP-682 offspring are captured, and SCP-682-47 kills you and all your family before getting captured.

I wish I knew everything I need to know.

[dburgdorf]

I wish I knew everything I need to know.

Your wish is granted. You know everything you need to know. Unfortunately, to truly *know* anything, requires knowledge of all supporting data. And all knowledge is connected in an interlocking web of facts and data. So, yes, for a brief, glorious moment, you know everything you need to know, and by extension, everything that *can* be known. But the human mind isn't designed to handle such a volume of data, and you die almost immediately as your brain overloads and shuts down.

I wish I was good enough at strategy games to win occasionally by something other than dumb luck.

[mabor0shi]

I wish I knew everything I need to know.

Your wish is granted. You know everything you need to know. Unfortunately, to truly *know* anything, requires knowledge of all supporting data. And all knowledge is connected in an interlocking web of facts and data. So, yes, for a brief, glorious moment, you know everything you need to know, and by extension, everything that *can* be known. But the human mind isn't designed to handle such a volume of data, and you die almost immediately as your brain overloads and shuts down.

Got in before me. I did a "These days, all you need to know is how to breathe. Go catatonic, survive in hospice, blah blah blah." corruption. Yours is more interesting.

I wish I was good enough at strategy games to win occasionally by something other than dumb luck.

granted You become a strategic mastermind overnight. You begin playing in tournaments to try to find a challenge, but are extremely dominant at every game you play. You don't even need to know the rules beforehand. It is such an inhuman ability, the news of you becomes mainstream. The government takes notice of you. They realize that with you as a secret weapon, they could dominate the world. So, the government enslaves you and makes a dictatorship that rules the planet. btw, I mean the government of your hometown, Omaha. The entire world is now ruled by the mayor of Omaha, Nebraska. She is way out of her depth and it shows. The Earth becomes a post-apocalyptic wasteland within a year.
I wish I had real friends.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, you had real friends, you don't anymore.
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I wish I could make extremely efficient factories in the game Factorio.

[mabor0shi]

Granted, you had real friends, you don't anymore.

Left myself wide open for that one

I wish I could make extremely efficient factories in the game Factorio.

You are now great at Factorio. Your factories are very efficient. Success feels so good, you can't stop. You become a video game addict, living only for Factorio. You get Factorio onto a tablet PC and walk around playing it, so you can get to the toilet or refrigerator. Eventually, you trip over your own feet and break both your wrists because you didn't try to catch yourself. A doctor prescribes you opioid painkillers and they become your new obsession, since you can't play Factorio with your injuries. You sit around all day, high out of your mind, fantasizing about well-made factories and watching streams of other geeks playing Factorio. None of this is enough to replace Factorio for you, so you add alcohol into the mix. Soon, you're also huffing cans of air duster.
You're a mess, Kegereneku. You need help. It hurts me to see you like this, dude. Me and catter are gonna do an intervention on you, though we fear you're beyond hope.
⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋⥊⥎⥋
I wish I could kill you and get away with it.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, the world you live in now allow you to kill me and get away with it. You have as much chance of pulling it off than winning the grand lottery five time in a row, but more precisely it will only allow you to if you kill me while dancing with sausages during the next solar eclipse (August 21, 2017),  and with an oversized spiked dildo deep in your ass.
But if you do, you will totally get away with it! (It will make you possible to plead "not guilty by reason of insanity")
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I would love more people knew how to corrupt wish without coercing the wisher's into a deterministic universe.
And that I remembered to not make too smartass wish
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I wish for Trump to be impeached

[mabor0shi]

I would love more people knew how to corrupt wish without coercing the wisher's into a deterministic universe.
And that I remembered to not make too smartass wish

Thanks, Kegerator. I think didn't understand the original wish. You were saying I shouldn't have the wishers perform any actions, right? The corruption should never have the wisher making decisions in it?

I wish for Trump to be impeached

granted Donald Trump is impeached. Mike Pence becomes U.S. President. Nothing really changes (besides stem cell research being made illegal in America) , because every government in the world is run by the Illuminati, anyway. The Illuminati discover how Trump was magically impeached, find the Corrupt-A-Wish genie, and wish for %100 control of the human race. The genie makes it so that the only people on the planet are the ones who were Illuminati, thus giving them %100 control and disappearing almost everybody. All the while, nothing deterministic happens (wtf ever that means).------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wish I can function normally without need for sleep.

[Kegereneku]

Yeah, I was thinking that a good(by that I mean bad) corruption shouldn't be railroading the wisher actions until the situation become horrible (by adding stuff not asked for), it should make the situation horrible no matter what you'll do from there (and only with what was asked).

I'll try with your wish.

I wish I can function normally without need for sleep.

Cheapass corruption: Granted, you no longer need sleep, as a result you get lonely at night since everybody is sleeping and end-up killing yourself.

Normal corruption: Granted, your body can function normally without sleeping, however this mean your body will normally not perform any of the memory processing that happen during sleeping (but never awake), this is thus with absolute normalcy that your short & long term memory will worsen until you are no longer capable of memorizing anything new or forming coherent thought, because that's normal with the limitation of a normally working body awake forever. You will also eat more since your normal body need more energy when awake.

Premium corruption: **Please pay Premium fee (your soul) to see this corruption**

[mabor0shi]

Yeah, I was thinking that a good(by that I mean bad) corruption shouldn't be railroading the wisher actions until the situation become horrible. . .

. . .You will also eat more since your normal body need more energy when awake.

You dare to tell me how much I will eat? I demand Premium, this Normal corruption is railroading my actions!
🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂
awaiting wish input from user with relly cool nickname Kegerator

placeholder image

[Kegereneku]

Premium corruption: Granted, your body can function normally without sleeping, however this mean your body will normally not perform any of the memory processing that happen during sleeping (but never awake), this is thus with absolute normalcy that your short & long term memory will worsen until you are no longer capable of memorizing anything new or forming coherent thought, because that's normal with the limitation of a normally working body awake forever. Your body will require more nutriment as is normal since it need energy instead of sleeping. Also you no longer have a soul.
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I wish for mabor0shi to be tied up on the rail track in front of a running train that I am driving. Alas I'm not called Kegerator so this wish will probably be ignored.

[dburgdorf]

I wish for mabor0shi to be tied up on the rail track in front of a running train that I am driving. Alas I'm not called Kegerator so this wish will probably be ignored.

Wish granted.  He is tied up (rather awkwardly) on a long section of model train track, in front of an HO-scale train under the complete control of a remote-control device in your hands.

I wish that Kegereneku would change his name to Kegerator.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, Kegereneku WOULD change his name to Kegerator.
...If dburgdorf and mabor0shi both jumped to their death into a giant meat grinder.
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I wish for both dburgdorf and mabor0shi to immediately rename themselves Kegerator.

[mabor0shi]

Granted. Through hacking methods he just looked up on the deep web, mabor0shi changes his and dburgdorf's profile names. His hacking is sloppy and amateurish, so he's detected and the names are soon reverted. He changes his Personal Text to say "Kegerator" for you, because it's now the best he can do. Then he jumps into a giant meat grinder. It's not big enough to fit him. He jams up the machine and gets badly maimed. Currently, he and his lawyer are trying to blame you for cyberbullying him into doing it. They know they can't win a lawsuit, but they can at least be a nuisance. Nothing deterministic occurs.


I wish for constructive criticism on my latest corruption, which is mediocre at best.

[dburgdorf]

I wish for constructive criticism on my latest corruption, which is mediocre at best.

Wish granted. A panel of five world-renowned wish corruption experts, who look and act much like military training instructors, appear without warning at your door one morning, and proceed to provide you with several hours of exhaustive (and exhausting) feedback on your wish corruption.

I wish I had a higher-quality computer at my desk in my office.