Corrupt-A-Wish

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are now an immortal flightless bird: a rooster. You experience as much freedom as such an animal can in the wild. You cannot die, but that's because you magically regrow limb. Predator like fox are very enthusiastic of that.

I wish I was meant to become a player of Homestuck's Sburb game, in a non-doomed universe and timeline.

(I think I just doomed someone to go through Homestuck's infinite archive, so instead you can just inspire yourself from this video which is a critical pivot point and see the meeting of two universe, one to be reset, 3 timeline shaped into a single Möbius strip, 3 death and rebirth and a run beyond the 4th wall. I hope you weren't bored by this crystal clear explanation.)

[catter]

Granted, you are meant to become a player of that game. The problem is: you also receive short-term-memory-loss and always forget how to play. You enjoy the game, at least the first few seconds of it. This will also cause you to restart every few seconds while playing the game...

I wish I knew what Homestuck's Sburb is.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you receive a packet by mail with a disk in it. It's a game called SBURB. It doesn't matter if you don't install it, the game is the reason your universe exist, the very fabric of space-time memetic, no matter how many time-loop or time-spirograph happen, will result a circumstance where you are already entering the game.
Your monomania for something, (cats here) even make you a prime candidate, you Nepeta followers...

However (this is the corruption in case you weren't sure), not every universe are meant to succeed. Some universe are just doomed. Yours is doomed as you are only a single player and don't even know what prototyping your Sprite mean, breaking two mechanics needed.
Also, you now completely understand what is happening here vs here, as if it were logic itself.


I wish this topic didn't have people making obscure reference to insane things nobody understand and take hours to read

[catter]

Granted, now everyone knows all the obscure things and their minds explode. Soon enough they all go to the hell apartment...

I wish for a reason to wish.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, you now wish for no reason.


I wish it wasn't so hard to come up with new original wish and creative corruption.

[crazyroosterman]

wish granted however the time and effort required by you to improve your craft forces you to forfeit your social life for 2 decades now you can craft wishes that are so awe inspiring and utterly original that it provokes readers to froth at the mouth while tears stream from their eyes struck by the sheer beauty of what you create
you however have forgotten how to even communicate the simplest thought or even how to use and interpret body language and you are incapable of creating a new social life
you spend the rest of this life corrupting and making wishes burdened by the misery of complete social isolation.


I wish I wouldn't make my corruptions overly convoluted and long. 

[catter]

Granted, in order to do this we need all your limbs... Oh you want to keep those! *Radios HQ* "Alright, send in the troops to kill this guy. His name is crazyroosterman and he wants to make his corruptions very simple. Oh yea, they will be simple alright. They will be so simple they don't exist..."

As you read this post right now, you are being surrounded by trained assassins who will kill you if you try to make one more corruption that is longer than three sentences. You wanted simple, now you have to be simple or else you take a trip to the hell apartment forever...

I wish that corruption doesn't scare crazyroosterman away.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, he is absolutely not afraid of your corruption at all. Fighting off a dozen of trained assassins is child play for him, he does however mind the interruption and interrogated them to know who they were talking to (he even grabbed and answered their radio in the middle of the fight). Word go by that he will take revenge, cause he is absolutely not scared of you.

I'm wishing for a non-meta, convoluted or mind-altering wishdevice that allow me to play a video game with a near total level of (figurative) immersion and the wish must be carried out in a way that fit why we appreciate video game. So no getting stuck in it, no suffering irremediable injury.

[{insert_name_here}]

Wish granted. Near total level of immersion? Well, the closest you're going to get is by taping the video game console to your head, which is exactly what your wish does. Unfortunately for you, this tape cannot be removed. You could try destroying the console, but I personally wouldn't trust anyone to swing a sledgehammer at something that is millimetres from your head. Because the bright, flashing screen is about a millimetre away from your eyes and the pressure of the screen against your face is forcing your eyes open, you are unable to sleep. After an entire fortnight of sleep deprivation, you finally snap, committing suicide.

(I hope my corruption met all of that criteria you outlined in your wish)

I wish I could think up these corruptions instantly.

[crazyroosterman]

granted now all you are mentally capable of is thinking of ways to corrupt wishes eventually you are found In an emaciated state sitting in or on what ever it is you are doing so to right now
your not dead though you live out the rest of your life in a seemingly vegetative  unable to do anything for your self however for the rest of your life there you fire a constant barrage of corruptions endless in their variety and scale.

I wish that kegereneku hadn't granted catters wish allowing me the opportunity to do the corruption I was really exited about on it my self.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, I didn't not ""grant 'Catters' any wish that would allow you the opportunity to do the corruption you were really exited about yourself"".

(I hope my corruption met all of that criteria you outlined in your wish)

It don't but anybody would have an hard time getting around.


I wish all wish-granting genius were obligated to undo any wish that isn't up to the client wish and to do so by default after a day unless told otherwise.

[catter]

Wish granted, however the client wish at some point undoes your wish and you become sad.

I wish I had a bar.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, you had a bar, it have been taken from you after you were called to the bar for stealing a boat's bar and running it aground on a bar, it's now a troquet belonging to a guy who just passed his bar exam and you are barred from coming in, else they'll hit you with a bar. To keep you out they installed bars at the windows. All you can do is wait outside near the white wall barred in black and listen to the bars of a singer inside.

(I did my best, I'm not a native english speaker)

I wish I was set.

[catter]

Granted, you are set to get you leg set after a set of accidents on a movie set or the movie "Setting Sun" I which the setting is East Setauket, NY where a settler sets down a set of games and it becomes a city. If that set of sets is bad, think of the settlers who just saw Setauket made in a few seconds. Their minds are set on thinking it is a set of magic spells...

(Shall I continue this cringe-worthy story about set?)

I wish for a jar.

[InterstellarOrbit]

Your wish is granted, however, you become stuck in said jar, watching the years go by without being able to escape the Jar, and watching Foreigners called "Dogs" take over CatNation.

I wish to become a tree that gives magical properties.