Corrupt-A-Wish

[catter]

You get it, but because she is ideal she is imaginary and can only be found in your dreams after crying every night, and as over-passing thoughts every now and again. You always want her to be yours when you think of her, but she will always be just out of reach to reality in your imagination.

Maybe you should start the career of creating a machine that will make your imagination come to life...


I wish for the earthly creatures to come back, but not the creatures that I have to create with every wish.

[mabor0shi]

Wish granted. Every creature on earth who had been away comes back. Unfortunately, they had been on Pluto and are now very dead. Also, they come back one random organism per second and they spawn 5 meters above your head. Most animals are insects, so as long as you keep moving you probably won't be buried in corpses. And I think you will be able to eat them, though I'm no scientist. So it's not all bad.
I wish I could get a good sleep every night.

[catter]

You get your good sleep every night... FOREVER!!!

MUAHAHAHAHA!

I wish to be able to have all those corpses become alive.

[mabor0shi]

Granted. You have gained the spell Raise Dead Animal. Each animal you resurrect will follow you around everywhere and do nothing but attack your enemies, just like in a video game. They don't obey commands, they just follow and attack hostiles. They will eventually die of thirst or starvation, but you can just bring them back to life again. This is a fate worse than death for them, of course. Also, you must not let anyone know about you necromancy or you will be burned alive, or thrown in a river, or whatever your people do about witchcraft. At least you can have your cats again!
I wish I wake up tomorrow to find out this life was just a nightmare.

[catter]

Your wish comes true, however this is already true of today's world. However you wished for a nightmare so you will get your nightmare. You wake up one morning only to find that you lost your job, all your friends reject you forever for no reason. All the internet changes your account settings and passwords and when you look at it as a guest you are frightened by the posts. You later see the grim reaper and tell him you want to die. He grants your last request and you die, but only to be sent to the worst place to you for eternity.

I wish for my corruptions to be better ending

[mabor0shi]

Granted. You suddenly find yourself in a room you have never seen before. The only familiar sight is the Corrupt-a-Wish thread on the monitor you are sitting in front of. But strangely, you are signed in on the profile "mabor0shi". The truth dawns on you: you have switched lives with some weird guy you kinda know on the internet! You are now a brilliant corruptionist who is great at endings, and super charming and good looking and you have an above average sized penis! You also have a personality disorder and a death wish and you lie about your penis on the internet. Don't forget to take your various pills, or you may become dangerous!
On the plus side, I now have your cats and my nightmare is over. I am starting my new life:Hello, I'm catter. I like making people die and petting kitty cats
I wish I didn't insult people so much while trying to be funny. I had to delete a lot from that corruption, because it probably seemed cruel.

[catter]

First:             *derp*
Second: Ouch!
Third: Your wish is granted you don't insult people, however you are now a psychopath and you tell people a compliment before killing them very gruesomely. In fact you are a grue from the computer RPG Zork. Here have a mirror:


I wish to back to my old self again.

[Kegereneku]

Wish granted, you are transformed into your old self, from a past life. You were a fisherman and you have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at that time and place.

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I wish people took no pleasure at corrupting wish.

[catter]

Wish granted, no one takes pleasure in corrupting wishes, but they do like making fun of you and bullying you because you wished that. You eventually disown humanity and become a hermit. You stay out too late one night and get eaten by a grue being told that you are very smart. That very same night mabor0shi gets very full from eating that grouchy person in the woods.

I wish to be back in my own time.

[mabor0shi]

lol
Granted. You are back to modern times. You are still a fisherman and you have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at this time and place. Your ancient commercial fishing methods are of little to no value now. You say

I wish to back to my old self again.

You are then transformed into your old self, from a past life. You have no idea of why you suddenly appeared at that time and place. Then you say

I wish to be back in my own time.

You are stuck in a wish loop for all eternity, always confused and wishing for things to be different. Good news, you get to live forever.
I wish people were more impressed with my corruptions.

[Kegereneku]

Granted,  people are more impressed by your corruptions, all good one get you praised beyond reason, all bad one get you hated beyond reason.
Thing is, people tend to only remember their bad experience... like your slightly disappointing last post you f*cking shit, why did you have to ruin my day with a post so bad? I HATE YOU!!!! I WILL KILL YOU!!!!

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I wish for mabor0shi to die.

[catter]

Your wish is granted, however because you granted his wish and you share a life bond with him, so you die with him. You both find it very intolerable in hell now-a-days, you both have to share an apartment together with no contact to the outside world for eternity.

I wish to be out of my never ending loop.

[mabor0shi]

I wish to be out of my never ending loop.

Granted. You exit your never ending loop and enter the apartment of Kegereneku where he lives with mabor0shi in a loop of their own, in which every day is the same circular argument about who is to blame for them being in hell and who's turn it is to do dishes. Now that you're here, you are the new guy so you have to do the dishes. There is no water in hell, so you will have to lick them clean. Good news, they aren't very dirty because there's never anything to eat in hell.

I wish for a cold strawberry-banana milkshake.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, however a heated dispute between Kegereneku and catter about the risk of going overboard with private and self-referential humor led your milkshake to be spilled all over the unwashed floor.

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I wish for all further wishes to be understandable without needing to look for previous post.

[catter]

Granted, but anyone who does look at your latest post can't understand it now, that is because when you try to project your thoughts from this hellish apartment you create very garbled posts on all threads. You can wish as much as you want now, but no one can here you besides us in your apartment. After a while of listening to your thoughts being projected, mabor0shi and I get sick of it and get into a really big fist fight of you versus mabor0shi and me. You should have stayed quiet and accepted that you will stay here FOREVER!

I wish to be able to go back to the real world by just opening a door and going through it.