Corrupt-A-Wish

[Names are for the Weak]

Granted, you have your life back. However, your life sucks now, as when your life is granted back to you, it's thousands of years in the future and the planet you once called home is a treacherous rimworld.

I wish I was good at Chess.

[Kegerator]

Wish granted you are good at chess relative to everyone else in the world, mainly because its the zombie Apocalypse and the only people you can play against are zombies.

I wish I was Rick Grimes from the walking dead.

[Names are for the Weak]

Congratulations, you are now Rick Grimes from the Walking Dead! You have his body, personality, memories, relationships, and overall identity of Rick Grimes. Unfortunately, you now live in a horrific zombie-infested world, and the genie who granted your wish forgot to put you in a safehouse. Have fun finding another one!

I wish I could shoot fireballs out of my hands.

[RemingtonRyder]

Wish granted. You also shoot lightning out of your arse, your eyes glow, and you grow to be seven feet tall if you aren't already. There's also an unshakable odour of brimstone.

I wish for great wealth.

[catter]

Wish granted, however you got it through a will. The will states: "I give this money to MarvinKosh only if he does what I want him to do with it. After MarvinKosh gets this large sum of money, he can look at it and admire it for 5 weeks and can't use it. Then after those 5 weeks, the money must be split in half where one half goes to any charity MarvinKosh wants to donate, (Which MUST be done), and the other half to be used only as food, clothing, and more charity money."

I wish for some fish on a dish. (or tuna and la luna; or a trout with a pout. Whichever one works best in corrupting.)

[Names are for the Weak]

Granted, someone serves you fish on a dish. Unfortunately, someone wants you dead and has poisoned your meal. You die several weeks later in agony due to said poison being extremely painful and slow-acting.

I wish I actually lived in the universe of Rimworld.

[AllenWL]

Wish granted.
The Gods of Corrupt Wishes sends you to the Rimworld Universe.
However, since the universe has large amounts of nothing, and you are a very very tiny thing, you end up within the vast void of space.
You have 15 seconds before you lose consciousness, and about another minuet after that before you die.

I wish I could summon 100% obedient demons to do my bidding.

[Kegerator]

Wish granted you have demons that are 100% obedient. However they only understand one language and every word in that language means "make my life and everyone I love life miserable.

I wish I could have a real life 3d working mega shark, with unlimited ammunition, and the skills necessary to weld it profiently

See here http://terraria.wikia.com/wiki/Megashark

[catter]

Wish granted, you now have a mega shark. The thing is though is that in order to get it you have to enter a 2D world. This becomes very disorienting and while you are reorienting yourself, you get killed. It is ok though, in the 3D hell if you enlist as a demon special force you will get that weapon, but have to follow the orders of AllenWL.

I wish the next poster would corrupt a previous wish of a tuna and la luna ( or trout with a pout; whichever works best for corrupting).

[Kegerator]

Wish granted you get both! Wait a second...yes..OK I understand. So the folks above me are saying that you did not receive a tuna and la luna or a trout with a pout but instead, a tuna with a pout and a trout and la luna. It is impossible to  change this. As with anyone with a mild case of OCD your head immediately explodes into a ball of flames.

I wish I actuated knew what the heck a pout is in this context. I mean seriously what is it?

[Kegereneku]

Granted, it is explained to you by making your face look like a pouting trout, you spend the rest of your life wishing you just googled "pout fish"


I wish for Jeager from Pacific Rim to exist and to be efficient at killing any kaiju without more destruction or loss of human life than is currently happening.

[catter]

Wish granted, to make things even better: you can and will control it! However, since this is a very large machine and you re the only one who can service it (and you can't tell anyone how to service it); you have to clean it, repair it, upgrade it, and program it all by yourself. Now there are two ways this can go: A) You are daunted by this and decide to not do any of that. or B) You accept the task and now whenever you use it you now take 10 years to clean it and repair it. In the case of A, the machine slowly wears itself out and malfunctions beyond repair. In the case of B, you slowly get old and you give up on using the machine because it would mean another 10 years of cleaning an repairing.

I wish for a can of tuna...

[Kegereneku]

Granted you get a can of tuna, it is out of date by 20 years, made at a time where it was impossible to conserve fish anywhere that long.

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I wish for cats to be a mainstream meal, just like rabbit or chicken.

[Kegerator]

Wish granted cat is a mainstream meal like rabbit. What rabbits a mainstream meal? OK. Cat soars in popularity with nearly every restaurant serving some variation of it. In order to meet the demand for meat cat farmers give massive amounts of hormones and drugs to cats promote growth. One of these cats is taken in due to his large intelligence. He eventually realizes the crimes humanity has committed to cat kind and leads a cat uprising. The cats use humans for food as cats had once been.
----

Granted, it is explained to you by making your face look like a pouting trout, you spend the rest of your life wishing you just googled "pout fish"

I looked it up on bing but I couldn't find it. I would have looked it up on google but its blocked here in China, I don't live here just staying for the summer, humanoid Also I can't look that link.   
----I wish the Trump administration was no longer in power.

[Kegereneku]

Granted, however it is because as a result of Trump's megalomania and his bragging about national security secret in plutocrat club led to a thermonuclear war that beheaded the US' government and his administration in the first strike.

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I wish China became a democracy.