Corrupt-A-Wish

[catter]

Granted, the nerves on the top of your head stop transmitting any and all signals. However, that fire on your head looks to be getting bigger...

I wish to get a ham and cheddar on wheat.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. You die because of intolerance to wheat. I don't remember how it's called

I wish for a fire extinguisher

[catter]

Granted, but you forgot how to use it and get a face-full of asphyxiation.

I wish that I wasn't gluten intolerant.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted, but bread doesn't exist anymore.

I wish for one last loaf of bread

[AllenWL]

Granted.
To make sure your loaf of bread really is the last loaf, anything that can be turned into bread disappears. So does everyone who knows how to make bread, as well as every bit of information -both physical and digital- about bread and breadmaking, and anyone who might want to or need to make bread.
The sudden disappearance of an extremely large amount of plants, people, information, etc cause several countries to fall into anarchy and several ecosystems to collapse.
I wish I didn't forget all the rules of this thread.

[AllenWL]

I really really wish I hadn't forgotten all the rules of this thread before I went around posting again.

[catter]

Granted, the rules are the only thing you know.

I wish AllenWL knew how to breath as well.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. He also goes to the first post of this topic and reads the rules. Oh and he exhales sulfuric acid so you die and stuff.

I wish for my doggo to be here. I want to pet him.

[catter]

Granted, but upon seeing you in your normal state (A squirrel) he looses control to his instincts to chase you up a tree.

I wish for a really strong base (as opposed to an acid).

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Uh...shit

Granted, but you find yourself in posetion of area 51, it's a really strong military base.

Wish for me chemistry knowledegery

[catter]

Granted, but I will add a caveat.

I wish for ManHuntingSquirrel to know chemistry, but they must be taught by a teacher with a heavy speech impediment/accent.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. I have brain implants. You have no power over my understanding of language.

I wish for all my homework to be due in different days rather than 80% of them being due in the same fucking day.

[catter]

Granted, but in order to do so the teacher runs the due date for every assignment through a true randomizing algorithm that only allows dates in which there will be school... Seems that project you were assigned today was due five weeks ago.

I wish to know how you figured out the system as you have made a wish a corruption and granted a wish without corruption and didn't even break the rules...

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

The homework was updated on the 21 of april and one of the new assignments was due in the 19 of april, so your corruption isn't too far off from reality...

Oh, yes, the wish. Granted, you now know, but your little cat brain becomes overwhelmed because of all the information that has led me to this state of omnipotence, and explodes into a pink mist.

I wish for a pink, edible carrot.

[catter]

Granted, but in order to become omnipotent your body had to become separated from this plane of existence. While you may be able to manipulate minor things in this world (like typing at a keyboard), you cannot lift heavy items or consume anything. Welcome to observer-hood... soon enough you won't even be able to interact with the world at all.

I wish for a bucket of melons.