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You forgot to mention force feeding drugs and alcohol to menial laborers to keep them complacent with the pointless toil and struggles of life. Maybe that hits too close to home for you?
btw, i LOLed at "selling hard drugs to indigenous people".

nice one. nah, everything is fair game.

p.s. I know it's you Anderson Cooper. Go ahead "patoka". Tell your liberal media buddies about Rimworld. See if I care.

you overestimate me. neither do i have such a melodic sounfing name, nor am i politically affeliated with any side, nor do i work for the media (or work in general) and i certainly am not emotionally capable enough to care about other people's feelings.
i am really just some fag that's bored out of his mind

still drunk
still open for different views


edit: not drunk anymore, still kinda feel bored though. do or n't?

so i am (still) drunk and bored and suddenly remembered rimworld because beer and smokeleaf.


my brain thinks it would be a funny "social experiment" if i "tipped off" the media of the existence of it.
[size=78%]you know. rimworld. pew pew pew. people dying. blood carpets. prisoner abuse. animal cruelty. randpm acts of violence towards minors. nudity. public sexy timey. homosexuality. "fornication". cannibalism. art from the parts of dead people. starvation. people living in their own dirt (in some mods). being forced to tragically fight your family members to the death. stealing organs of incapacitated visitors. producing and selling hard drugs to inigenous people. and worst of all: real. fur. coats.[/size]
anyway. you know what rim goodness i mean.


so what if *certain* news outlets caught wind of this game? this incarnation of evil? what it [insert news media name] would eat it up like ot happened so many times already with so many other games by all sides of politics?
what if they didnt even do it for a political statement but for some kickass clickbait? ("you will not guess what this game teaches your children that involves overdosing on drugs; enjoying cannibalism; and unattended minors")
everybody knows one or two media companies that would be perfectly suited for a little "outrage" over a game, especially nowadays. (i purposely dont say any concrete names, no need to start something that silly here. i am just here for the fun)


it has happened before but as far as i know only on a very small scale. i kinda wanna repeat this until more mainstream media notices rimworld, especially since 1.0 might just eventually come out and i heard tynan wouldnt be too mad about some more peeps buying this game. it is free advertising, afterall.


can anybody think of a real downside to this? like, would it actually be that much of a hassle for whoever is responsible for press statements at ludeon studios? i am sure they can just copy and paste their last statement that the media shouldnt be such crybabies and that you guys dont care.


another downside i wouldnt count is how we should feel remorse for screwing with the media. no we shouldnt feel bad for it because we dont force them to write about anything. they actively choose to put each and every story into their show or newspaper or radio/tv program or podcast or whatever and it is entirely their responsibility to check stories for truth and if it makes logical sense what they claim and so on. you know. they should at least act as if they all were interested in good journalism and stuff.


@mods or generally non-normal users: feel especially encouraged to comment on it, even if it is a: "get sober first and then a real hobby, idiot" as you guys have more insight to what the big "rimworld exposed" articles in the media sparked (or didnt)
also please dont ban me. if you ban me for this post instead of answering i take it as an "oh hell no, dont do that you dumbass" and will think of something anyway because i dont like censorship. (yes this is a political statement. please dont derail the topic anyway)

how was this ignored for so many years
1.0 is the best time to implement a custom storyteller
with slide bars you could adjust every attribute, be it max number of pawns, big threats, small threats and so on.
the face could be like a robot's, since you can adjust it like a machine, unlike a person whose personality you cant influence (like cassandra, pheobe and randy)

sorry for necro but i have tried to make a custom storyteller of my own in this https://ludeon.com/forums/index.php?topic=39325.0 thread, but i am a big xml noob and have no idea what half the commands mean
could anybody help me?

i'm an idiot. i posted this in the wrong subtopic. can a mod pls move this to unfinished?

[threatCycleLength:]

hey guys, big mod noob here (i did some html back when it was cool, but that was ages ago and doesnt count)
i was wondering if i could make my own storyteller
seeing how many people had performance issues and how most people dislike small maps, my aim was making one that would make playing on small maps a bit more rewarding/fun.
how i'd achieve that with a storyteller alone is that i want to put the player under constant pressure, like the worst combination in vanilla rn. (pissed randy or cassandra on high difficulty) but to make it fair, the story teller would immediately help you out again to get on your feet for a proper defence. i intend to change the way of playing rimworld for many players that would wanna try my new storyteller, in that colonists will die all over the place, you wont be able to save too many enemy pawns either to recruit them due to your low numbers, but wanderers and refugees will join you left and right, so the social and levelling aspect of the game would be less focussed and also bionics would see less play and instead cheap alternatives (like peg legs and even scyther blades) and hopefully even higher amounts of drugs than usual.
ideally, i'd say, we'd see battles that will kill a considerable amount of your colonists and the ones that do survive, only do so because of appropriate use of drugs. soon after you'll be stocked up with new pawns though, so unless you grow fond of them, all you end up with is tons of loot and dead bodies for your war beasts.
since you're gonna have quite a hard time anyway, i guess this map is more intended to be played on easy-medium difficulty maps like temperate and tropical forests, but also arid shrubland and taiga if you want even more of a challenge. the more difficult maps will probably barely be playable like this, but hey, players have survived on sea ice aswell, so what do i know.
ps: totally forgot to say that the pop limits would be between 5 and 7 (crit: 9) for the story teller.

so now to the technicalties:
aside from the fact that i have no clue whatsoever how to program ai (story teller), i did look into it anyway on the wiki http://rimworldwiki.com/wiki/AI_Storytellers and came up with a few questions. what do all these expressions mean: xD

threatCycleLength: does this mean that all threats are in a cycle in random order and that if i make the cycle length shorter that it will be less random? why would anybody want to change this? i must be missing sth.

classic_RandomEventMTBDays: ? to me just random words jumbled together. is it maybe that it says how many days have to pass for the same event to happen again?

classic_ThreatBigMTBDays: is this how long volcanic winters and toxic fallout takes?

classic_ThreatSmallMTBDays: and this is a number of how many days i can hunt as my heart desires since the last animal turned manhunter? no way, right? i thought that was directly dependent on how much you hunted and which animals

General Weight: no idea. nope. cant be difficulty, that is sth else.

ThreatSmallWeight: umm...maybe the percentage of how many threats are small and how many big? so if this number is small, i will have more big threats like raids?

LargeThreatWeight: confused now... so is it maybe that general weight is for generally good and bad events, threatsmallweight is for small threats and largethreatweight stands for large threats and these three numbers essentially tell you the percentage of the kinds of events that happen?

MaxThreatBigIntervalDays: this is like a max number of days between big threats?

(and after looking at some other modded storytellers:)

populationIntentFromPopCurve: this is like a little list of things but always seems to be the same over many storytellers. contrary to its name, it doesnt seem to be sth connected to the number of colonists you have...is this sth completely different?

minDaysPassed: what does this one specify? how many days have to pass for the threats to start popping up?

mtbDaysThreatSmall and mtbDaysThreatBig: is this just a different way of writing every how many days small threats occur on average?

i think imma stop comment on each and every single one and just make a list of stuff i found that i dont 100% understand, hope that's ok. i mean, most i have an idea of, but i am not sure why the commands seem to repeat themselves in different ways.

threatOffDays

threatOnDays

minDaysBetweenThreatBigs

      <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_AllyAssistance">
        <baseMtb>10</baseMtb>
      </li>

      <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_CategoryIndividualMTBByBiome">
        <category>CaravanTarget</category>
      </li>

      <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_ShipChunkDrop"/>
no ship chunks ever? or starting off with ship chunks? i dont understand...

      <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_JourneyOffer"/>
i think this means that there wont be a frienly ai that takes me for a trip, right? or does it mean the exact opposite?

<li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_Disease">
        <minDaysPassed>7</minDaysPassed>
      </li>
i thiiiiiiink this makes it that you can only have a disease per week and not more often, right?

and then there are these huge chunks that i dont understand:
                        <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_CategoryMTB">
            <allowedTargetTypes>MapPlayerHome</allowedTargetTypes>
            <minDaysPassed>5</minDaysPassed>
        <category>Misc</category>
            <mtbDays>3.0</mtbDays>
         </li>

         <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_CategoryMTB">
            <allowedTargetTypes>World</allowedTargetTypes>
            <minDaysPassed>15</minDaysPassed>
            <category>Misc</category>
            <mtbDays>8</mtbDays>
         </li>

      <li Class="StorytellerCompProperties_AllyInteraction">
        <minDaysPassed>5</minDaysPassed>
        <baseMtb>6</baseMtb>
        <allowedTargetTypes>MapPlayerHome</allowedTargetTypes>
      </li>

the worst offender in this regard is this list right here:
    <listOrder>1</listOrder>
      <populationIntentFromPopCurve>
         <points>
            <li>0, 8</li>
            <li>1, 4</li>
            <li>5, 1</li>
            <li>9, 0.5</li>
            <li>13, 0</li>
            <li>18, -1</li>
         </points>
      </populationIntentFromPopCurve>
what does it influence? what if i change some numbers? how can i calculate the outcome? should i keep it in as is, or throw it out?

=> and very specifically, i do not see a command that would let me set how often "good" events would happen. can i not set this on my own? do i have to let the story teller decide if the player is in need of good events or not, just by looking at the population counter?

thanks to anyone that cares to read all this and to even respond. will take me probably a day or two for my first version which will probably suck and then maybe a new version every few hours until i have a decent enough version to show you guys. i hope.

and if anybody feels like this mod needs some proper rimworld style pictures, feel free to post them. i am a level 0 artist, so i could never do sth like this on my own. maybe i could go find sth on google, but i probably would end up posting sth unrelated. dont let me do this part. i WILL ruin it.

pps: am i doing this correctly? there isnt an easy make-your-own-storyteller out there, right? and xml is the right choice for me, as an html-rookie, right?

oh i am unblocked again
also i forgot i made this thread
the issue got resolved because that other laptop got stolen
my own laptop which is older and plays rimworld just well turns out to have an edge over the newer one because eventhough the gpu is crap, the cpu is single core and seemingly beat the dual core of the newer one and gpu.
thanks for the answers though
sorry for necro

the thing that is the greatest difference between tornadoes and floods is that you know in advance where the river or sea shore is, so you can just build your base far away from there. but tornadoes can form anywhere and there is nothing you can do about it.
furhermore, i do believe it would be quite easy to implement a damage model over time for floodings. all items get damaged very quickly when flooded because they are so small and can flow away with the current easily. that would be simulated with high DPS. all structures and maybe larger furniture and workbenches and such would gain normal damage based upon their material and maybe even quality. hugh quality stuff would be more corrosion resistant in my opinion, like an awful bed rots in no time while a legendary one could easily survive a flood. wood would be very weak in floods, rock very strong, steel medium, because it rusts. silver, gold, plasteel and uranium COULD be (almost) impervious to flood damage.
if we look at walls for example, wooden walls have low hp already, so they would get wrecked very quickly. other walls have more hp and they are pretty corrosion resistant, so it would take much longer to get those walls flooded away, on the other hand i assume floods would at least take a day or two to go away, so you might need to repair them a lot.
in real life people use sandbags and in rare cases even flour-bags to survive floodings. i guess it would be really cool if they had a bonus against flood damage so that they are a balanced way of defending your base against floodings. building sandbags costs a 6 steel, which is one more than walls, but they have 100 more hp (450 -> 350). giving them an additional edge in floods like taking half or a third of the damage steel walls would make it realistic i guess.

and yes, i still think it is more of a thing for mods. but then again i think tornadoes suck the way they are currently implemented, so they would be mod-material even more than floods.

yeah...i believe it is made this way for simplicity's reason, so that you dont have to code ANOTHER way for capturing enemy pawns and i imagine the first one was hard enough to code as is.

that said, it IS weird that prisoners dont try to escape when you are on caravans with them. even when you are in a battle with numerous enemies, be it manhunter pack, ambush, resource cache or bandit camp, they just hang around and wait for you to put them into their new prisons. interestingly enough you can only feed them in prisons, aswell, or tend to them. but as said, it is this way probably because it is hard to implement new mechanisms and the current one works well enough.

and it's not like you have to make the best prison ever. i usually build it into a hillside or even better, into a hole in a mountain, or, ideally, i just take over a building on the map for them. then quickly place some sleeping spots and make them be for prisoners only. admittedly, that is still hard sometimes when you're caravaning through (extreme) deserts because not even all the cacti on the map are enough, but i guess taking some wood with you for the walls and that one door easily solves this situation.

but this is just a workaround for now. i, too, would like to see a simple way of capturing enemy pawns. all you need in my idea are sleeping spots and they will be good enough for the prisoners aswell. once they are put there they immediately get handcuffed and boom, you have taken prisoners while on caravans. you are free to heal them or you can just speed on if you are short on time and maybe even choose to carry them, but then again i dont quite understand how carrying works. i would assume that as long as you have empty carrying capacity, the slowest units, be it your pawns, prisoners or pets will be carried, but it doesnt seem to work that way for me...

i would really like seeing this being added and maybe even my other suggestion that the slowest units get carried by default and therefore you dont have to walk at the pace of a half dead prisoner or pawn.

@harry: it is always fun to read your ironic and hypocritical comments.
let's start at the top:
so you DO admit that i was right and you were wrong? cool. that's exactly where you should've stopped your comment. nothing more needed. and that's me talking, the guy that overtalks all the time.
and then you call me a "schoolyard child". never heard that one before, very original. unfortunately you didnt exactly do a good job at making me look like one and did the most common mistake people do when they try to do so: you just described yourself. dont feel bad, many much older, richer and smarter people than you did and still do the same thing. closet-gay politicians and priests condemning homosexuality for example. what i am saying is you are probably afraid to be called a "schoolyard child" yourself. you "schoolyard child". i hope your dear mods and admins wont stop you from going to the bathroom in your lunch break when you read my comment, or we might have a lil wet surprise waiting.
but these silly things aside, it is really striking how mere sentences after calling me a "schoolyard child" you throw a temper tantrum like you're one of them yourself.
[...]
once you're done having a hissy fit, try to smear your tears on your bib so that you can read on.
[...]

I mean no offense against you, and I know I can come across as it myself a lot, but I think you are very immature and act very poorly with how you converse with others on here. I also think you are brash, disrespectful, condescending, and you act as if anything you say should be a given, and honestly, I have no desire to converse with you any further. I also think most of your ideas are shit.

i know you know you come off like the things you call other people. it is called projecting. it is really funny seeing people do that and then telling them they're doing it. please go on.
so by now you've called me all these things: dishonest, a "schoolyard kid", very immature, brash, disrespectful and condescending.
now tell me which of these attributes could describe you just aswell? is it perhaps choice a), as in all of the above? you can also tell your mom if you dont wanna tell me personally, though, i am sure she'll understand.
lastly, you do not regard my ideas very highly, which is fair, opinions can differ. but i'm sure you'll learn this soon at your school.

ok, the constructive part:
@gipothegip: good point. but how will we exactly do it? caring seems a bit difficult to see through for me to this day, so i cant really make a good proposition here...
anyway, +1 to you

@everyone: i still dont understand what op meant by "Grammar is its own reward; it pays dividends."
can anyone help me? i tried googling it with no result. is this like an english metaphor combined with a joke or sth?

well yes it would be a leak but what would it do and how would you implement it? it just seems like a LOT of work to me as much as i understand coding and that only for centralized heating, which in my opinion isnt needed for the following reasons aswell:
-centralized heating is already a thing in rimworld if you play fortress mode and not village. have one huge and complicated hallway structure which you actually heat. all the rooms touch the hallway and have vents to it. boom. all you need to do is turn up the heat a degree or two a ove what you want in your rooms and you're done.
-well...where i live you actually DID use to put at least one heater in every room...but i wouldnt do that in rimworld either, just like you said. heat the hallway, not the rooms.
-i didnt mean the installation would be cheap but the energy cost to keep the house/fortress heated. heaters are quite inefficient, except if there were recent improvements to them that i dont know of.
-i do change all heaters at once already: zoom out, double click a heater (like that, all heaters on the screen are selected), adjust heat level or turn on/off and you're done
-besides all this, heaters are industrial tech and so is centralized heating. how would you even differentiate them on the research tree? why would anybody research both? or is this more like an either/or research like in other games?

i like many suggestions but unfortunately most wont be accepted into vanilla anymore. you should hope for mods. anything with water will have a hard time to be accepted for vanilla. have you noticed how pawns dont fight fire with water but dirt and stomping it out? same thing. water will not be introduced to the game in any other way shape or form than standing waters, rivers and rain :/

this is one good ass suggestion. the only issue i am having with it is that i believe devilstrand was supposed to be the futuristic version of it. i wanna show you some of their similarities:
denim is typically blue - devilstrand is typically red. both have very strong color associations, while cotton is entirely white.
both are more advanced versions of cloth; tougher in any regard.
both are harder to produce than cotton cloth.
this makes me believe, devilstrand is a buffed, simplified, scifi version of denim for rimworld.
that said, i already like devilstrand in the game and i think it is a bit weird how they are a available so soon. i'd make them a spacer or at least industrial tech. denim could be before that. eventhough in real life it was an industrial product, i could much rather see denim as a tough growable textile that is available to tribes.
then again, tribes would most likely use leather, typical medieval clothing would probably be metal armor and cloth maybe and only in the industrial age would we encounter denim...
so i don't know, i am very split on this.

at least i didnt threaten the populace with "an episode of violent" (OP, last line) if my demands for correct grammar werent met

Don't twist people's words. The OP was obviously being snarky and using the game's improper grammar to make a point. You are further making yourself look like an ass by trying to throw people under the bus for something they did not say nor mean.

i didnt twist any words. i quoted him. if you want to make me look bad, at least say i took his words out of context. which i did. still doesnt change the fact the a dank meme containing a threat isnt treated the same way as a one of the oldest memes out there. heck you guys seem to go out of your way to take it literally and condemn me for it. (it was used on the usenet in 1991 already and has been included in the urban dictionary as early as 2003)

but we're getting off topic anyway.
here's the content:
even a multi billionaire company like google cant make a program that consistently speaks proper english. how is ludeon supposed to make one? it wasnt their aim anyway. they wanted to make a good game, which they did. as long as we dont have to read stuff like "all your base are belong to us" it wont ruin immersion.

on another note, i dont quite understand the table in the OP anyway.
-how is "incapable of violence" worse than "incapable of brawling/shooting"? it is longer, has special characters and is just as understandable.
-then two that would stay the same? (no seriously i dont get it) [social and animals is what i meant]
-health?...care? wtf, what does social insurance have anything to do with rimworld; is this a mod?
-(the rest was already commented on)

to conclude, it is highly unclear to me how this list of expressions in the OP was supposed to be implemented into any kind of code, especially how all this was even meant.
but to top it off the op added following (part of a) comment:

Are you kidding, or incapable of intellectual? I practically did the work right here. Copy and paste it. Grammar is its own reward; it pays dividends

so if you're going to feel "slighted" off of my "abrasive"ness (iykwim), why not by this direct insult? ("are you[...]incapable of intellectual?") seriously, it is nothing less than that, plus a disgruntled comment on the hypothetic laziness or ineptitude of the programmers (which left a particularly sour taste in my mouth) or just general disregard on the it-men and -women behind this project. ("i practically did all the work here. copy and paste it") to top it off, he added a comment on how we should be happy about how he practically wants to force ludeon to implement his changes ("grammar is its own reward" and "or there could be an episode of violent") and a cryptic message. ("[grammar] pays dividends")

funny thing is, you dont even need to justify his outright childish, immature and spoilt seeming comment, because you yourself reacted accordingly already with following comment:

Yes, making software is so simple that you can just copy and paste forum users' suggestions right into the code! Boy, the times we live in!

, rightly putting him in his place.
i dont like to directly insult people, so i let you do it instead:

Don't twist people's words. [patoka/OP] was obviously being snarky and using [memes] to make a point. You are further making yourself look like [someone below me] by trying to throw people under the bus for something they did not say nor mean.

notice, how ironic you sound?

and just so that we dont misunderstand eachother, i'll explain another meme i used there. it is well established and aswell on urban dictionary since 2003:
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Get+a+life
notice how it is also a "self-diss"? interesting, isnt it? i went out of my way of not directly insulting anybody. i also use memes to make a point. i use self deprication as humour. i must really be a vile creature. i probably really DID mean that the op was responsible for the deaths of millions of civilians and dozens of millions of soldiers.

anyway. out of fear that i might start repeating myself (which is a much more grave mistake in my book than grammatical ones) i'll recapitulate:

TL;DR:
1) op using a meme he just invented is not being interpreted as threat of violence.
2) "ass" using well established meme is interpreted literally and as a personal attack towards the op, his friends and opponents (in an argument)

EDIT: i had to edit a bit because i wrote it on my phone. and yes, even grammatical errors. i hope it is more understandable now.

at least i didnt threaten the populace with "an episode of violent" (OP, last line) if my demands for correct grammar werent met