Corrupt-A-Wish

Started by NewJack, February 28, 2016, 11:33:36 PM

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ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. You get arrested for suspicious handling of salmon. No wonder that blow-drier smelled funny.

I wish to know what a blow-drier is
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, you get stuffed into one right after you learn all about it.

I wish to have a lawyer who is actually good.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. However the charges are too much for your lawyer and you lose the case.

I wish to know what I learnt
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but you have just been cursed to have short-term memory loss. You will now be stuck trying to figure out what you learned unless distracted by something else.

I wish for a nice and comfortable jail-cell.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted, you are thrown into one of those cushiony jail cells, and they have strapped you so you can't scratch the walls.

I wish for have good memory i wish for have good memmory aga i wish for have good memor
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but you forgot what a hair-drier is.

I wish Wikipedia was actually accurate.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. The world starts changing according to Wikipedia, history books modified, photos edited, and film remade. RIP Gordon Freeman from All Dogs Go to Heaven 2.

I wish for not lose memory
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but you find that life was better when you didn't remember things.

I wish for the world to revert back to the way it was (I.E. Before the world was made to be more like Wikipedia)

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. However before, you could modify history however you wanted. You could have prevented the first world war, the Holocaust, and many other things. It is this guilt that drives you to suicide.

I wish for not remember
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but your name is now Korg and you tap-dance for people at a circus.

I wish to have a hamburger.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. It's rotten, and you die of food poisoning

I wish to...You know what i like my new life, i want to tap dance for a living
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, you tap dance for a living, and if you ever stop tap-dancing it's back to poverty you go.

I wish to have a more complex (but not too complex like existential corruptions) corruption of my hamburger wish.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Granted. The hamburger is rotten, and you get severe food poisoning. Rather than be interned in the hospital you go to the Himalayas for a last trip before you die, to discover the meaning of life. During your 7th day of exploration, you catch a glimpse of a sillhouete, it's too big to be a person, and it couldn't be a gorilla. Over the next days your only objective is to catch the criature, and after months of searching, finding, and losing the beast, you finally catch it. It's a Yeti! You hand it over to Nepalese scientists, and soon enough the whole country knows about what you did, and then the world. You gain millions, a beautiful wife, and...

These are the hallucinations of a cat, dying of cold and food poisoning in the Himalayas. His corpse never to be found.

I wish to keep tap-dancing, and to keep counting to 20.000 in the other thread
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO

catter

Granted, but you realize that said thread doesn't exist. It was but an illusion that died when it reached 9,000.

I wish for my body to be found.

ManHuntingSquirrel

Welp. Rip the thread i guess.

Granted, your body is found by hungry cannibals.

I wish for car.
- The Squirrel-Llama Manhunting Association CEO