Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?

Started by Sepkan, August 06, 2014, 04:19:33 PM

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Indoril120

My colony had had it rough.

About half a year in my original 3 crashers recruit 'Snipe', a small 16 year old girl they rescued from a life of piracy. At the time of the bad turn she was on the road accompanying her good friend Archie to a resource cache our neighbors tipped us off about. The other two colonists, Steve and Maddog, stayed home to watch the settlement while they were gone. It was supposed to be a short trip, maybe 2-3 days there and back if nothing went wrong.

This is Rimworld. Naturally, things went wrong.

Archie and Snipe get ambushed by some bloodthirsty rabid pigs. While Archie is being mauled, Snipe is doing her best to put down the offending swine. Archie walks away with severe pig bites. Snipe, not a doctor, does all she can to stop the bleeding and hope her older friend recovers soon.

Meanwhile, a small band of pirates shows up at the settlement. Poor Steve. An incendiary launcher introduced an explosive pellet to his face, catching him, his house, and his crippled monkey, Kentucky, all on fire. Maddog, a pacifist and unable to engage, starts trying to juggle the various vital roles suddenly thrust upon him, tempering the flames rapidly spreading through the camp, extinguishing his friend and his friend's monkey, and avoiding the pirates. By the end of the day, Steve, Maddog, and the monkey, Kentucky, all succumb to bullets and flames and die within 10 feet of one another. The camp is lost.

Okay, so Snipe and Archie are still alive... This is not the end! Sure they're about a day away from home, injured, and have nothing to come back to except some silver, steel, and 5 random pops of luciferium not incinerated in the fire, but HEY! They're alive!

Archie contracts an infection in his right shoulder and left leg. Savage tribals show up and stab him a few more times. (Snipe, to her credit, put a shot right through the brain of one the second he got in range).

Within 24 hours, Archie is dead, leaving poor 16 year old Centra 'Snipe' Tholmne all alone in the wilderness.

Then there's a happy turn. Snipe's dad plummets out'a the sky right into the ashes of the old camp. She books it home and manages to save his life 0.27 hours before he bleeds to death. He spends the next few days recovering, and soon decides to stay. (Would'a been too sad if after all that he just went, "Whelp, cya 'round, honey! Good luck with your dead friends!")

Now we're about a year in. Dead of winter - nothing tremendous, but between father and daughter they get things done. They have become competent muffalo farmers, and soon have a decent-sized herd. It's a quaint existence, and pleasant to oversee.

Suddenly, game hit me wit le wild warning message!

"Luciferium Addiction!"

I turn to catch Snipe's poppa coming out of the shed, the luciferium stack a sliver smaller than before.

"No... Nonononono!" This beautiful father-daughter farmstead is about to be utterly destroyed by those devilish drugs (or a soon-to-be-lack-thereof)! I truly was very upset. I absentmindedly click the warning and am about to dismiss it when I do a double-take. It reads: "Muffalo 1 has developed an addiction to luciferium," or something to that effect.

The... muffalo? Sure enough, the thing's zipping around like it's on yayo, grazing on grass with an unnatural agility only afforded by ingesting performance-enhancing nanites. This muffalo can now count itself among an exclusive crowd of nano-infused livestock, and I honestly don't know what to do with it.

Swat_Raptor

Bunny attack a centipede, afterword the whole raid of Mechanoids gathered in the middle of the map and started wandering aimlessly.

Presumably because of a Bug or something about the Mad rabbit caused the group of rampaging Machines to have a existential crisis.

see image attached

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]

Limdood

back in, i think A15.  I'm doing a tundra base with next to no growing season...its always snowy, always cold, and my starting pet is a #@^$ing cat.

Ofc, since its a starting pet, its bonded, and my colonists are shaky enough as-is.  A trade caravan shows up, and I've had it with dealing with this cat through the cold weather.  I sell my pet to the caravan, and since the bonded mood effects were new, i "discovered" that there is a 2 season mood penalty for selling a bonded animal. 

That sucks, but at least the mood penalty is half what the "bonded animal died" penalty is.  OK, no worries.

...except...

...except that I traded the cat at the beginning of the caravan visit.  Except that the caravan "chilled out" outside my base in the cold the whole time.  The cat froze to death outside with nothing i could do about it.  Suddenly my pawn had 2 stacked mood penalties "bonded animal was sold" and "bonded animal died."

That was a rough 2 seasons...

MistMaster

I have some young animals in my colony, so sometimes they get picked off by predators.
But this one day was different, I had a two day old boar cub who was absolutely wasted on alcohol. So this arctic fox wandering around thought the boar cub would be easy pickings. The fox easily rips two of the boars legs off while only receiving a scratch in return, but then the boar got mad. The boar cub put up a fight and actually downed the fox in a drunken rage. Mind-blowing, see the screenshot below.

Slimy_Slider

Had a cobra develop cirrhosis about 3 in-game hours after it was born.

Erlembald

During my last tundra-colony I had a Manhunter Pack of Panthers (weirdly enough I think) enter the map together with Toxic Fallout and visitors (with something to trade) roaming around my colony (you gotta love Randy). First, the Panthers were on the Western side of my colony and the visitors in the south separated from the Panthers by a mountain. After some time, the Panthers found their way around the mountain and attacked the visitors, who defeated them without any real problems. I now decided to trade some items with the strangers and totally forgot about them afterwards.
As one has little to do during Toxic Fallouts, I checked the map for new game and other interesting stuff, when I found a dead pawn lying amidst many items near the edge of the map. My first thought was some kind of a weird bug, but then it struck me as I surveyed the items - it was one of the strangers, who seemed to have taken damage from the fight with the Panthers and that combined with the effects of the Toxic Fallout killed it. Luckily for me, it carried most items I had sold to the strangers and I could get them back additional to some other items and an excellent sniper rifle on top of it. Just Rimworld things I guess  :D

a1maxmad

Several hours into Alpha 17 (things are getting really good!) on permatdeath mode, I emptied my whole base on a desert biome that had half a year of snow, deciding it was just not hospitable for a long term operation. We had a day or two food and were stopping at colonies along the way to buy food. We were well armed with several colonists and things were going well. Half way to our destination, where would resettle, we received a request to take out a local band of pirates. I'd never done this before, suspected we would be over matched, but wanted to check it out. So, we go over. We're outnumbered almost 2 to 1.

After setting up a small base camp, we head down while they're sleeping and blockade their entrance with just some wooden walls. Eventually they wake up and start (naturally) fighting their way out. We take up defensive positions at our camp and wait. They start moltoving the freaking walls inside setting everything on fire! By the time they get out at least two are severely on fire! The rest stream out.

We manage to take out half and the rest run away. Here's the funny part...

We move into their base and start making food. A day or two go by. We get a message saying we have to reform our caravan. I don't want to yet. Still healing wounded and making food... I don't want to. I hit cancel. A message informs me that everyone is either 'Missing Or Dead...' That's it... everyone is dead or missing... on permadeath... that's it.

So... you know. Don't hit cancel when the game decides you've been camping for too long... pffffffffffffftttttt.....

CruelBanana

Got 2 huge caravans in the same time. "Oh, sweet, now I can sell all those ori's I've tamed" I thought. They were coming from 2 opposite sides of the map, and I always let them come right in the city so I don't have to haul from far away. It appeared, they were enemies. They just started shooting each other on the street that has buildings on both sides, like in some western movie. In the unexpected gunfire I lost my best doctor, and there were a lot of people downed on both sides. In the end, I got tons of loot from muffalos and relation boost for saving their people. Of course, as soon as I get microelectronics I will request caravans from both of them.

Names are for the Weak

For everyone who kept track of the little serial I did recently, you might recognize this. So anyway, I was sending some guys off to investigate an item stash, and along the way, the caravan gets a stick up from a lone raider. The weird thing is, the only thing he demanded was a pair of pants from one of the pawns. I spent 5 minutes just laughing at the mental image of a man holding a stick in a threatening manner at someone demanding that they hand over their pants. Of course, I refused to comply, and when I checked his gear, the only thing he was wearing was a duster. I guess he needed a pair of pants himself, and couldn't be bothered to just get it in a safer way, a mistake that ended up costing him his life.

I don't know what circumstances in your life led you to mug people for their pants, but I'll always remember you, Pants Bandit.

SpaceDorf

The funniest thing is always the newbies complaining about some wierd shit happening to them :)
Maxim 1   : Pillage, then burn
Maxim 37 : There is no overkill. There is only open fire and reload.
Rule 34 of Rimworld :There is a mod for that.
Avatar Made by Chickenplucker

milon

^ Like that time when they ate without a table?  ;)

SpaceDorf

More like the first time Cassandra or Randy start showing off ..

20 Raiders .. riight .. but those 3 soldiers need a flu first .. no make that malaria .. yeah looks good ..
something is still missing .. oh yeah ZZzzzzzzT ..

Now Thunderstorm -  MWAHAHAAHAHAA !!!!
Maxim 1   : Pillage, then burn
Maxim 37 : There is no overkill. There is only open fire and reload.
Rule 34 of Rimworld :There is a mod for that.
Avatar Made by Chickenplucker

pablo603

Okay
So recently I started a tribe colony with just one guy, I've built a small house, stockpile, things you need to start properly.
On about 13th day a pack of boomalopes came to the map when it was raining. Of course crazy me said - hey, it's raining, if fire starts it will stop. So I killed one boomalope and suddenly the rain stopped. The fire was getting out of control, causing a chain reaction between other boomalopes. My house was of course wooden so it burned down. Half of my stockpile also burned down and food was rescued with 5-15 condition. The whole map burned down. I saw a poor turkey burning. Soon it downed. I ordered my colonist to take care of it. 2 more seconds and the turkey would be burned to death. When my colonist patched up his wounds (without meds of course, because they were only burns)they got bound to each other and he named it "Waste" or something like that, I can't translate it properly from the polish translation, but in polish it was "Marnotrawstwo". I was laughing so badly because he named it like that! I don't know if that had something to do with the whole map burning down, but it was funny.
Here is a screenshot (polish version):

Der Failer

#808
And this kids, is why you don't leave your pets alone at home...

[ragemode]
I mean... seriously? That freaking Caribou just eat one of my precious Luciferium. It's not like there are tonnes of potatoes, hay and berries laying around... no is fine, just the eat the damn Luciferium! Is not expensive or rar or any thing like this.

I've never consider this a to be a possible problem, but sure my boars drink beer, so why wouldn't the single Caribou that self-tamed at day eight(!) take my Luciferium? What's next Squirrels on Wake-up, Go-juice addicted Wargs or maybe my Muffalos would like to enjoy some smokeleaf...

Well looks like i had a Caribou for the longest time.
[/ragemode]

But wait this isn't even the punchline:
I just had a raid and 7/10 colonists are injured and i just considered using Luci to save one of them.


Edit:
Also that guy from a caravan just set off a trap... and those are the people i'll have to rely on, in an emergency?! m(
Btw they are slavers and the only slave they have is a
....
....
....
two year old Yorkshire terrier?!?!?

I just can't... i just...
*drops headphones and leaves the room*

[attachment deleted by admin due to age]

homemdosgalos

Besides the "awful Pila users" one shot a leg or arm from some of my colonists, it had to be today.

A Chef, incapable of cooking.  ::)
Will post print soon.