Corrupt-A-Wish

[catter]

Granted, but you have to watch 400 hours of a show called Franchises. It's about a clown catching various criminals (like a southern Colonel who committed war crimes against chicken) for a king and his red haired daughter who fell in love with a toy joker. It is rated R, but that's only because the King's favorite word is f*ck.

I wish to know why I created this monstrosity of a TV show concept (without getting metaphysical about it).

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. Hitler corrupted your mind, that's why you made that horrible TV show concept.

I wish for all my homework to finish itself.

[catter]

Granted, but because the homework is only as smart as a paper and a pencil you will get an F on them.

I wish for a whale shark.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. The whale shark gets angry at you and kills you with a club made out of coral.

I wish for you to realize that i do my homework with keyboard and mouse, and given that they both have intricate and intelligent designs, i get an A

[catter]

Granted, but in return you must realize that a keyboard as well as a mouse can neither think nor calculate (except in very rare cases) so the best you are going to get is a D as basic math is an elementary subject.

I wish for the ability to stay determined no matter what.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. Something something Undertale reference something blah blah and you die

I wish for uhhhhhh black slim PS4

[catter]

Granted, but it was dropped in a lake while powered on before it was given to you. Hope you can repair short-circuited electronics!

I wish for rope.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Not again! Anyways...

Granted, however it comes with a label attached to it, it says "Sad rope". A few minutes later you get sad and hang yourself. It is sad.

I wish for uhhhhh an early PS5

[catter]

Granted, however it bricks itself (i.e. becomes useless by short circuiting or something similar) anytime you try to run it as it is only an early prototype.

I wish my rope wish didn't get corrupted to become a suicide.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted. However, the rope dissapears as it was only crafted with the intent of being cursed.

I wish for working PS5, and an early one at that.

[catter]

Granted, but it seems to be covered in dust, and when you try to run it, the battery isn't in very good health either.

I wish I could redo yesterday.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted, you appear in the middle of space because you traveled in time but the Earth has moved a lot since. I don't think i need to say what happens next.

Actually, i do. I wish for a space rocket and 2 spacesuits so i can rescue you.

[catter]

Granted, but the ship is out of fuel and your rescue attempt only saved me from dying, but not from having a sub-orbital trajectory.

I wish the heat-shield worked on the spaceship ManHuntingSquirrel wished for.

[ManHuntingSquirrel]

Granted, however this heat-shield works by using air conditioners to cool the spaceship (Don't ask how that works). When you reach the land, the ship's inside is -80 degrees, and you die.

I wish for my cat to come back, he's been lost for a day now.

[catter]

Granted, however you become patient zero for the new zombie apocalypse as your cat was a zombie and bit you.

I wish I didn't freeze to death on that spaceship.