Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?

Started by Sepkan, August 06, 2014, 04:19:33 PM

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Evanf32

Not too long ago I had a colonist get her right foot shot off. We made her a wooden replacement, and had our best doctor get to work on her. Suddenly I get the message that the surgery was a catastrophic failure. I check on her health tab to see what happened. Somehow our brilliant doctor managed to cut her eye out, among other cuts all over her body. What the heck happened? How do you fail so bad that you accidentally cut out her eye ball when all you had to do was stick a stump on her stump!

Evanf32

I had just survived a big raid from tribals. They managed to kill a few of my colonists and destroyed most my defences. In the aftermath many of the tribals were downed laying in front of my base. I wasn't worried about them, I was trying to rebuild and tend to my own people. Quite a few had bad injuries and 2 of my remaining 5 were incapped. Then another raider party shows up. About 20 of them. All with pretty decent weapons, armor and stats.
This is the end if my colony. I recruit everyone who can still stand and get them in defensive positions. There's no hope our 3 cripples and turrets can fight them off. The raiders make it one step within our firing range and I get a message. "pirates from deathwatch have decided to capture who they can and leave".

They started picking up all the tribals and just wandered off. I can only imagine the conversation they had.

"well. Hey, we were going to destroy those colonist bastards but there was a bunch of tribals just.. Laying there. We couldn't NOT take them."

Mr.Cross

Claims to know most things.

theapolaustic1

Quote from: Evanf32 on July 10, 2015, 08:12:58 PM
I had just survived a big raid from tribals. They managed to kill a few of my colonists and destroyed most my defences. In the aftermath many of the tribals were downed laying in front of my base. I wasn't worried about them, I was trying to rebuild and tend to my own people. Quite a few had bad injuries and 2 of my remaining 5 were incapped. Then another raider party shows up. About 20 of them. All with pretty decent weapons, armor and stats.
This is the end if my colony. I recruit everyone who can still stand and get them in defensive positions. There's no hope our 3 cripples and turrets can fight them off. The raiders make it one step within our firing range and I get a message. "pirates from deathwatch have decided to capture who they can and leave".

They started picking up all the tribals and just wandered off. I can only imagine the conversation they had.

"well. Hey, we were going to destroy those colonist bastards but there was a bunch of tribals just.. Laying there. We couldn't NOT take them."

Two other interpretations that I like:
"Ha! They know we're so badass, they don't even want to fight. They're giving us prisoners as tribute!"
"Holy shit, they just wiped out all of these people and left the wounded out to die... Let's not mess with them, let's just take these guys and go. I don't want to die."

ComradeKhan

After a difficult start on a boreal map and many, many psychotic breaks, my original three colonists had finally made through to the next summer.

One colonist was in a particularly bad way. She was neurotic, and quite prone to breaks, especially during the winter where it dropped to -60 Celsius during the cold snaps. She'd lost a leg to a grenade, but thankfully, she was my craftswoman and didn't have to hobble very far from her bed to to her workstation on her peg leg. She had served a few stints in prison for her breaks, but had always come out and worked again after a few days of cooldown.

But, through blood, sweat and toil, things were looking up. Storage was full of potatoes from the fields and meat from a recent shipment, a housing complex was in place and she had her own well decorated, relatively spacious room, and she had just got a prothesis installed on her leg.

I imagine as she lay down on her bed that summer night and let out a relaxing sigh, she would have said to herself, "Maybe everything won't be so bad after all?" Maybe she even got to close her eyes and drift off to sleep for a few minutes before the cargo pods filled with over 300 chunks of human flesh smashed through her roof and sprayed bloodily all over the room.

The next day she would go berserk after it turned out the chef had served her up some of that very same meat in her dinner. She would kill her other companion before getting eviscerated by the chef's shotgun, but not before leaving him with fatal wounds that would cause him his death.

Thus ended the colony of Greenwood. People still sing of it's downfall, a bloody tale of toil, despair, hope, and a cautionary tale of how you shouldn't eat whatever strange flesh falls from orbit into your bedroom.

Segrog

[quote author=ComradeKhan link=topic=5192.msg151656#msg151656 date=
Thus ended the colony of Greenwood. People still sing of it's downfall, a bloody tale of toil, despair, hope, and a cautionary tale of how you shouldn't eat whatever strange flesh falls from orbit into your bedroom.
[/quote]

Wow, too good. Just incredible. Applause to you and your psycho colonists.

pigman999999999

i captured someone i didt want him and no slave trader so i thougt why not have some fun so i let him go then i  recapture him and 3 more times i recaped him then i got a raid and i did that tougth the raid and then i caped him when was 10 spacesaway from geting away then when i let him go sure engho a slave trader came ah why you hate me game.

AllenWL

I started up a colony of nudist cannibals at a jungle, and while making the bedrooms, I  found that a cobra had gotten locked inside the room of a colonist I decided would be the 'leader' of the group. Who was in the room. And praying. And the cobra was in front of her. And it was staying still.
Yes, the leader of the colony was kneeling down in prayer to a cobra. And that cobra was listing to her prayers.

In a snap designation, I decided that my colony of cannibals will worship cobras as a deity, and the cobra messiah who gave us this message is now worshiped as a holy animal, and lives in comfort with the colony leader, giving her words of wisdom and eating rice.

Zork

my mercenary colonist named justinian, armed with an anti materiel rifle (mod) and combat helmet and armor, beaten to death by a deer in the shadows of a mine.

RemingtonRyder

Wargs are tricky beasts to deal with, so when a pack of them ran onto the map I locked the doors and decided to wait for them to move on.

Thing is though, it seems that they're not fond of extreme cold, and since I'm in the middle of a volcanic winter it wasn't long before they all flopped down and died of hypothermia.

Free meat and fur! :D


Shinzy


skullywag

Trying to plant steel in the hope of growing a steel plant?
Skullywag modded to death.
I'd never met an iterator I liked....until Zhentar saved me.
Why Unity5, WHY do you forsake me?

muffins

In my defence the ground was covered in snow when I put down the hydroponic plans ...

Ignore the fact that soil is often found beneath snow.

AllenWL

Oh, you thought it was stone/ice/something plants don't grow on when you started making plans, and put up hydroponics to grow stuff on? Just plant something like rice on there.