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Author Topic: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?  (Read 255041 times)

Dr. Z

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2014, 10:00:46 AM »

Early game, first visitors from a neutral colonie. One of them was getting hungry, so he took a meal out of the stockpile and put it on a table (all outdoor). While he was eating, one of my colonists came, took the meal away, placing it in the stockplie, than the visitor took it back to continue eating, than the colonist took it back to the stockpile and so on. In the end my colonist gave up and allowed the visitor to eat it. Since this incident, I always store my food indoors.
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Prasie the Squirrel!

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Telkir

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2014, 10:53:00 AM »

Incident the First
Back in an alpha 4 game, I'd recently captured a prisoner and was trying to recruit him to the colony's cause. Unfortunately, though, food was extremely scarce after a badly-timed crop blight and the colony was desperately harvesting nearby wild bushes to avoid starvation.

One of my wardens decided to give the prisoner a feed using the last cooked meal in the stockpile. The prisoner was asleep at the time so the warden decided to just leave the food on the floor. A minute or so later I noticed another one of my colonists in the prison room eating the meal instead... and because there were no table and chairs in the colony, they'd decided to just enjoy their meal on top of the prisoner. Clearly his sentiment was something like: "Filthy raider scum, no food for you! Now stay still!"

Incident the Second
Another day, another colony. The place had been running for just nearly a year when a damaged ship part crashed just outside the perimeter. After having only just kicked a raider siege out of their back yard, my colonists were worn down and still running around in the aftermath trying to fix their digs back up. A telepsychopathic AI wasn't exactly on their Christmas list. Still, hope was not lost - a couple of days pass and things settle down enough for me to wonder how best to tackle the timebomb outside. Then another siege starts.

Resigning myself to accept this was likely to be a game over, I checked where the new raiding party was setting up. It was within a sniper rifle's distance of the ship wreckage. Suddenly, I had an idea, and drafted my least-injured colonist into action. I sent her toward a "service entrance" that exited the colony walls just a stone's throw away from the wreckage. Crossing my fingers, I got her to ping the crashed ship with a pistol bullet, then hot-foot it back into safety. Phew! She barely had time to get into cover before the spontaneous horde of at least a half-dozen each of scythers and caterpillars set sight on her, but escape into safety she did.

Extermination circuits at full charge, the mechanoids started heading toward the colony's main entrance to take revenge on the poor scrub who woke them up. Fortunately, though, my plan worked deliciously - I knew they might be easily distracted, for example by the overenthusiastic raiders taking potshots at them from just across the way... and so they were. The mechs decided raider blood was tastier than mine and a fairly one-sided firefight ensues between them and the siegers.

But things soon took a turn down silly avenue when a hitherto unnoticed group of visiting wanderers decided to pass through the exact middle of the ongoing battle...

The mechanoids wiped out both siegers and visitors in the resulting hilarity, but were badly weakened in the process, enough that my ragtag band of survivors could finish them off without casualties. Yes, a previously friendly neighbouring faction now hated my guts, but the colony endured a while longer, and that's all that mattered!

Bonus Incident the Third
(I'd have spoiler tagged this so it didn't take up room in the main thread but there doesn't seem to be the option here. Sorry for semi-offtopicness.)

It was in the early days of a colony struggling to fend off bandits and wildlife. All of my people were injured and barely able to get themselves fed, let alone fix the horrid ramshackle mess of the place they had to live in. Then another group of raiders arrive, seven of them to my four. Fearing the worst I drafted everyone for a last stand.

The battle was fierce but against all odds the raiders were driven off! One colonist lay dead and another two were incapacitated, but the fourth was fit enough to rescue them. Oh, and tackle the miniature blazing inferno that the mostly wooden colony had become at the hands of the raiders' molotovs.

Dilemma: Extinguish fires or rescue critically injured colonists? I pick rescuing, but both of the poor blighters were at death's door and too far from their (burning) bedrooms. My only option is to create a couple of new sleeping spots nearby in a section that's already been mostly burnt out.

The brave lone hero rescues one fallen comrade from the wreckage and heads toward the other, but alas, death claims them before he could get there. Saving his grief until later, the hero mustered what little energy he had left to fight the fires. He could only do so much. Eventually, with fires still raging, he succumbed to exhaustion and collapsed in his own bed.

He slept so deeply that he didn't hear the terrible crunching noise of the roof above the emergency sleeping spot collapsing on top of his injured friend...

Awakening to an eery silence, the hero left his bedroom and stared numbly at the scene. Already at his wit's end, he finally snapped and decided to leave the accursed place for good. Game over.
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UrbanBourbon

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #17 on: August 07, 2014, 05:15:21 PM »

A squirrel went mad and started attacking an exterior powered door. None of my guys went out that door so it never changed target. Every so often, somebody would stop by and repair the door back to full health. After about two days of nothing but tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the squirrel died of starvation.

Do you still sometimes think you hear something thudding away at your door? Do you regret that you didn't feed the squirrel every now and then, leaving it a portion of your harvest as an offering?
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Dr. Z

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2014, 05:09:10 AM »

Praise the squirrel!
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Prasie the Squirrel!

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Damien Hart

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2014, 06:06:23 AM »

A squirrel went mad and started attacking an exterior powered door. None of my guys went out that door so it never changed target. Every so often, somebody would stop by and repair the door back to full health. After about two days of nothing but tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap the squirrel died of starvation.

Do you still sometimes think you hear something thudding away at your door? Do you regret that you didn't feed the squirrel every now and then, leaving it a portion of your harvest as an offering?

It doesn't want your harvest. Nothing but a virgin sacrifice will appease it.
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HatesYourFace

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2014, 08:33:17 AM »

Another Squirrel related story:

Started a new game on a smaller map size, Random map generator gives me like 3/4 mountain and some plains with rocks in them...whatever I think, I'll build a mountain base. So...several hours later I'm chugging along happily with about a dozen colonists, my underground base is expanding nicely and so far I haven't had any serious problems, I had long since stopped caring about or even paying attention to the food situation as it was mostly automated, and things were generally going swimmingly...UNTIL!

Suddenly I noticed my colonists were all urgently hungry! And without my noticing they had already eaten through the impressive stockpile of taters we had in the base, But why? That couldn't be, I had several fields of potatoes and it had always been more than enough to feed all my colonists as well as stock up extra for rainy days! So I scroll over and find the fields and what do you know? Like two dozen squirrels running around in my now empty fields, They'd been eating all the crops for days without me noticing so nothing was getting harvested! Apparently there wasn't enough food being generated on the map because it was mostly mountain, so once the squirrel's started starving they came after mine...

It was an embarrassing end to a colony but it did make me chuckle lol. My colonists all starved to death or wandered off in a broken daze as my attempts to remove the squirrel blight from my crops with gunfire only caused some of the boomrats to explode and burn down what little remained of the harvest lol. I like to imagine the squirrels still live in the gutted shell of that base...eating my taters...
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MrRobSteel

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2014, 09:19:43 AM »

The funniest thing I can recall was from an earlier alpha, I'd built my base into a mountain for safety and set up comms and trading and amassed plenty of silver. A slaver trader came along and I brought all three of the available slaves then moved my camera to the beacon to watch them land. One lands, two lands.... hmm no three. I put it down to a bug at first until I started getting mental break warning messages. The pod had landed in a tiny undiscovered area and they were slowly going mad from starvation. Just about managed to dig them out before they went crazy.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2014, 09:21:24 AM by MrRobSteel »
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Shinzy

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2014, 09:36:25 AM »

The funniest thing I can recall was from an earlier alpha, I'd built my base into a mountain for safety and set up comms and trading and amassed plenty of silver. A slaver trader came along and I brought all three of the available slaves then moved my camera to the beacon to watch them land. One lands, two lands.... hmm no three. I put it down to a bug at first until I started getting mental break warning messages. The pod had landed in a tiny undiscovered area and they were slowly going mad from starvation. Just about managed to dig them out before they went crazy.
haha, now that's a nice welcome to their new home! getting jammed into a tiny crag inside a mountain =P
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Somz

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2014, 06:49:21 PM »

I made a quick prison out of my 'mess hall', worked pretty well even though the doors constantly opened/closed, the prisoner was just lingering around.
But then a sudden 70+ soon-to-be-enemies visitor group came to eat my food again but started shooting my prisoner instead! At first I laughed but jesus they nearly killed her! She was supposed to be the new, all-timer cook!
So I drafted my colonists, started shooting at the FPSkiller visitors but they've gone bad, starting to shoot back/shooting each other/meleeing a plant pot and also destroying a few turrets killing most of them in the process. Luckily my prisoner was only incapped (again, s**ks to be her I guess), and I managed to capture 2 more!
This amused me greatly.
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Armorat

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #24 on: August 09, 2014, 05:49:11 AM »

Raid comes in, intense fighting leaves raiders with two still standing and me with one guy, immobilized in a bed. So, I'm screwed, but I decide to watch them tear my base to the ground.

They're headed to break down the main door when a mad squirrel, forgotten amidst the gunfight, races out and starts gnawing on one of them. In a panic, the second spins around and unloads on the scuffle. She gets the squirrel, but not before blowing her comrade's brains out onto the sand as well. Still, she's got a job to do, so she trudges back to the main door to burn down the rest of my base...however, did I mention said door is on fire? She didn't notice, apparently, and immolates herself while trying to kick her way in. So, even though my last colonist is passed out and doomed to starve, I'm still the last man standing, b*****s!  8)
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Zeta Omega

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #25 on: August 09, 2014, 03:40:52 PM »

Poor squirrel 
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MoneyFish

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2014, 06:00:02 PM »

Just yesterday:
A noble end to a well established colony. Massive raider party sets up a fort on the other side of the map. I have no choice but to march all my colonists out to meet them in combat. The mortar shelling starts and the first two shells land right on top of my army.
A bloodbath ensues, but despite my best efforts we lose the battle. 7 raiders survive, with a few more bleeding out on the ground. I choose to continue the simulation, just to see what happens...

First off, the sheer carnage around them started driving the raiders mad. Just as they start slipping, a single visitor from a friendly camp shows up, wielding a bow and wearing nothing but a loincloth.
He approaches the mad bandits, and starts to pick them off one by one. The bandits attempt to counterattack, but by this point half of them have started punching everything in sight.

And thats the story of how John Rambo avenged my colonists.
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wolfman1911

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2014, 06:12:32 PM »

One time, one of my colonists set herself on fire. That was the game where I decided that I was going to build a colony of tunnel rats, aka: underground. Anyway, there were two mostly complete stone buildings a reasonable distance from my colony entrance, which I decided would be a fine place for a body dump.

Later on in the game, the first site was getting full, so I took the method that I knew of to solve the problem: molotovs. I had one of my colonists go start the fire, and then released her from military duty. After that came fun with the priority system. I had the initial body dump set to collect corpses at the highest priority level, so once the bodies started to burn, two of my colonists started collecting corpses from the secondary dump and throwing them into the now burning pile. One of those two managed to set herself on fire in the process.

Anyway, maybe this says some things about me as a person that I shouldn't be so quick to admit, but I can imagine that those two colonists were some kind of sadists, throwing bodies in the burning pile not because of the priorities that they had been given, but because they enjoyed watching corpses burn.

I don't know if this is what makes the game good, or if it makes the game awesome, but it is so easy to ascribe all kinds of sick and twisted motivations to the actions of my colonists.
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theapolaustic1

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2014, 11:05:40 PM »

One of my favorites would have to be the time I decided to experiment with a large amount of mods, including that one storyteller mod that shoots for a massive population.

Cue cramming sleeping spot after sleeping spot (I had T's cottonbeds installed too, so no easy beds for me that early on) into the tiny room that was supposed to be one of my initial colonists' bedrooms, but wasn't even fully mined out yet. I had at one point six prisoners in a cell that essentially had just enough room for their mattresses and a single-tile stockpile for food next to the door. Didn't even have a comm console up yet to sell them into slavery!

Another priceless moment came later on in that save. Prisoner (now that I have a proper cell) goes berserk and attacks a fellow inmate, I subdue him and put him back in his bed. The person who subdued him then proceeds to go berserk, so I subdue her and put her in the bed next to him. She gets converted back to the colony next day, then the colonist who converted her goes berserk and she has to knock him out and drag him into bed. He goes berserk again in his cell the next day and has to be knocked out and stuffed back in bed. Gets converted the day after... And then goes berserk again about three minutes later after he goes outside and notices "shit, it's dark out, I don't like that".

I'd named the guy after one of my buddies. May have cussed his namesake out over skype for his colonist's behavior.
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mikeash

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Re: Whats the funniest thing you have ever seen in Rimworld?
« Reply #29 on: August 10, 2014, 02:01:13 PM »

I walled off my whole base, leaving a single tile opening in the walls. I figured raiders will come through that and immediately meet lead death from my turrets and fortified colonists. Yay!

I wasn't paying too much attention, and soon the mental break alerts started to go off. I check on the unlucky colonists. They're just standing around outside my walls. Not moving, but slowly going crazy. WTF?

I draft one and tell him to move into the base. "No path." Huh?

Oh... there's a cactus growing right in the doorway. It happened to pop up right when half my colony was outside the walls for some reason. Unable to find their way back in, they just stopped moving and waited to go mad.

Some quick work with the Deconstruct command and I was back in business. A couple of colonists didn't make it back in time and I had to arrest them, but it was an easy time convincing them to rejoin the fold. I paved the crap out of the doorway area after that.
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